#my THIRD rotation is inpatient hospitalist which I've been told is burnout central

[prince-liest]

Claws my way into consciousness.

My last night shift (of this rotation) is finally over!!

Things that suck: My one day off this week is ostensibly Sunday. I finished my shift at 7am on Sunday. I am back to day shifts starting 9am on Monday. Haha. This is fine.

Silver linings: All my day shifts are 9 hours days instead of 10 hours, and Tues/Weds are FM program stuff (clinic plus an afternoon of didactics) which are comparatively much more chill than the emergency deparment. Also, still being in my 20s means that if I set myself up well for it, I'm pretty good at switching between days and nights even when they only give me one day for it. (So far.) (It's still not fun, though.)

I've been told that a lot of residency is "getting comfortable with being uncomfortable" and while it initially made me prickle to hear, I'm starting to actually settle into that, because it's very true. Almost every single thing I have done this rotation so far, from simple to complicated, has been something that I've never done (and often never even seen done) before, and that's uncomfortable! But every time I think, "Oh, god, a pediatric patient with nebulous kidney problems that I don't know how to address, I don't want to go take that one!" the follow-up thought is: "Well, it would be really hard to fuck it up so badly my attending couldn't fix it, and how else am I gonna learn?" And then after that I get, like, five vomiting infants in a row and suddenly seeing a baby isn't inherently terrifying and also now I know every possible way to prescribe a baby Zofran, haha.

That said, there's only so long I can consistently maintain that level of ambient stress, so I'm looking forward to my next rotation, which is orthopedic surgery and allegedly a chill 8-5 with weekends off. Shoutout to all the seniors in the ED who continue to be quite nice and supportive, and also understanding of my stress levels and confusion. (And also to the psych resident I keep having night shifts with as the only other non-EM intern around! Solidarity!!)