#multiple things about the vest scene; everything about the vest scene; don't get me started on the vest scene

[lisbonsteresa]

eating glass licking rust etc etc

[badpancakelol]

Hello! I just finished the first two of your time loop fics and I think it has done permanent damage to me! Great job, it was like the best thing I’ve read in years!! I will probably think about it for years! Seriously, so goddam good!!

I will now tell you about my fan theories/ask some questions!! In case you decide to publish this, this is a warning for others that after this point there is spoilers, mentions of death and suicide!

So, Steve doesn’t remember his deaths prior to this time loop but based on the mementos, he has died before. Is this because he brain hid them to protect him or did he die a bunch of times this time loop before he realized it? So what he thought was the first time was actually like the 20th? This has been fucking me up

Next thing: when I read the first fic and Steve pulled hoppers gun and just shot himself with no hesitation I was shocked and was like god that would be horrifying to see. Then I read the second fic and YOU MADE ME SEE IT FUCK seriously, so well done!!

I loved how Eddie gave Steve his vest every time! That was such a good detail??? And when they died together??? I sobbed, man

Also when Robin noticed the bullet scar on Steve’s head? Ouch ouch ouch

Also also robin having held Steve’s hand as he drowned multiple times? Horrifying!!! But also so sweet! I feel so bad for Steve that everyone remembers

And now for my head cannon: the reason that Steve’s dad came home is that he had a upsettingly vivid nightmare about killing Steve when he broke that plate. He got freaked out so he had to come home and make sure Steve was actually not buried in the backyard.

This is all that I can write out rn, my brain is in shock and I need to contemplate life now! Again, great job!! You… killed… it!! A+++++

oh my god i just read this and??? it is currently 1am where i am and i am not coherent enough to reply to this properly but i love everything that you said and it warmed my heart SO MUCH TY TY TY <333

re: steve remembering his deaths/the loops: he very much does not have a proper grasp on time at the beginning/when things start to look too similar to him. so when there are only minor changes to the timeline (say,,, in the original timeline he spilt a cup of water onto his floorboards, leading to him slipping and dying. he might get the slight feeling that he should move his cup of water, and do so, but not know why) he remains unaware of the loop, despite having died before

that's just a really long way to say: steve is entirely unreliable in his recounts of his own life! there is no original timeline, anymore!

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THE HOPPER'S GUN SCENE FOR THE SEQUEL SO I KNEW I HAD TO HAVE IT AS THE FIRST CHAPTER!! IM SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3333

the vest!!! and robin holding steve's hand!!!! i wanted some things to really bleed through each loop and reality -- even though these people don't really know what's happening, and won't ever know the full extent of what truly did happen, there are constants. there are things that are so crucial to them as people, core parts of themselves showing in actions and words and reactions to the most horrible things, that just stay. no matter what happens

i love that headcanon of steve's dad!!!

anwyay!!! ty ty so much for messaging me!!!! i hope this made any sort of sensee lol :)

[blueeyedheizer]

Alive Again - Billy/Four x reader

TW: Language, Blood

--------------

"Eight, I need a hand !"

"Well I'm kind of busy right now. Why don't you ask Five?" You spat, still keeping an eye on your target from behind your sniper rifle. Four groaned at your answer and you rolled your eyes, holding your weapon firmly.

"Come on Eight, now's not the time to be a little bitch! I need backup!"

"Fuck you, Four."

"For God's sake can you two shut up already? I feel like i'm working with actual children!" One barked from the other side of the mic, and you could tell he was definitely getting angry at your childish attitude. There wasn't a day where you and Four weren't fighting, and every mission ended with you two yelling at each other for the silliest reasons.

"Eight, you go help Four, end of discussion." One continued.

"I'm on the other side of the goddamn building, how the fuck am I supposed to make it without dying !" You yelled, clearly loosing your patience as well.

"Two's got you covered, you're not dying today, got it? Now get a hold of yourself and go!" You let out a loud sigh and checked your surroundings carefully before running reluctantly towards the opposite direction of your target. You hated being given a task out of nowhere. You weren't very self-assured so everything you did had to be planned or you just weren't ready for it. The thing is, One didn't seem to get it and that pissed you off more than anything.

Your race against time was abruptly interrupted as soon as you stepped inside one of the building's luxurious rooms; a guard bursted in the room at the same time as you and aimed his gun at you, his finger firmly placed around the trigger.

That's it. I'm dying today. You thought.

The guy took a step closer to you, the grip on his gun tighter than it was seconds ago making you hold your hands up in defense.

"Drop your gun." the man threatened and you shook your head no.

"I said drop your fucking gun!" before you could even process what was happening, a loud bang was heard and the man's dead body fell on the floor, making you scream. His head was half gone and he was already laying in a pool of his own blood. You let out a scream in horror. "Holy fucking shit!"

"You're welcome." Two said, exhaling a deep sigh of relief. "Almost missed him." She tried to joke, but you weren't in the mood for that. Without letting yourself think too much, you swallowed hard and started running as fast as you could. You were used to seeing dead people since you joined the Underground but it was never easy to witness. You might have been declared dead but your feelings definitely didn't die with that part of you.

"Why did I get myself into this?" you whispered to yourself before continuing your way to find Four. You couldn't help but have some regrets about joining the Underground. Watching your family mourn you at your own funeral was one of the hardest thing to do, and you often felt like all of this wasn't worth it. Most of your missions were complete disasters, and the fact that all of you were still alive to this day was a miracle.

xx

After running for what seemed an eternity, you finally reached the opposite side of the building where Four was supposed to be.

"Alright asshole, back to you. Where are you?" you called.

No answer

"Four! Do you copy?"

"Eight-." his mic was crackling. He was in trouble. Just by hearing him say your code name, you could tell he was breathless, almost struggling to speak. You let out a gasp when a bullet flew right next to you, and you rushed to the closest safe place you could find.

"Shit! Guys, I think I'm surrounded."

"Yeah, there's three guys hot on your heels, but I've got them in sight. They won't follow you for too long. Keep running." Seven answered and you nodded before going back to making your way inside the building. "Four i'm gonna need some indications. Where are you?"

Still no answer.

"Four?" Your heart began to race when you heard fighting sounds and screams of pain coming from your mic.

"Eight...please, help..."

"I'm on my way. But I need to know where you are. Give me a hint. Anything you can tell me."

"He's gonna kill me."

"Fuck's sake...Just hang on. I'm coming to you." The mic made another crackling sound and then went silent.

"Guys we've got a problem" Three interrupted.

"God, what now?" you answered, your heart beating faster with every passing second.

"The cops are everywhere, we have to go now. They'll be surrounding the whole building anytime from now." You started running faster, being careful to check if every corner around you was clear.

"Eight, you have to come back. We're running out of time." One said through the mic.

"No, fuck this. I'm not leaving anyone behind. Just go without me, we'll find a way to get back to you guys."

One let out a sigh and rubbed his face with his hands. He was definitely not approving your decision but chose to let you handle the situation anyway. "Alright. Good luck. Don't die."

You closed your eyes tightly, realizing what you were doing. You were walking right into the lion's den, and you got yourself into it on your own.

Quickly, you dashed behind a wall, hiding from any potential enemy. You tried to catch your breath but your bulletproof vest was making it harder. After a few seconds, you peeked around and made your way towards a corridor where you could hear punches being thrown along with some loud crashing.

xx

You finally found Four after what felt like an eternity. He was being beaten up horribly, and you could hardly believe the scene in front of you. Four looked completely helpless, the pain was so unbearable that he didn't even bother screaming for help. You immediately grabbed your gun and shot the guy on top of him, and you heart sank at the sight in front of you. Four's face was covered in bruises, and dried blood matted his hair against his forehead. You held out your hand for him to take and told the team you'd found him. One, Three and Seven were arguing on the other side, but you weren't listening.

"You good?"

Four groaned and grabbed your hand, standing up painfully. "Yeah."

"What the hell happened?"

"Since when do you care?" he spat and you scoffed, trying to hide how hurt you were after hearing those words.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go. We're running out of time"

----

Back to the HQ, you were sitting in front of your trailer, watching as Five took care of Four's multiple bruises. You couldn't help but feel angry at the sight of them being together. Was it jealousy? No. It couldn't be. You let out an unintentional scoff when you heard her laugh at something Four had said.

"So....Have you two fucked yet?" Two asked, taking a long drag of her cigarette and getting you out of your thoughts. You choked on your drink, making her chuckle.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Wha- Why on earth would I want to fuck him? I can't fucking stand him." you spat, throwing a cold glare towards his and Five's direction.

"Of course you don't. You just risked your life for someone you hate, nothing weird 'bout that. I would definitely do that too." Two answered as a smirk appeared on her face.

"Oh, fuck off Two. I don't like him. He's- he's selfish, self-centered, ungrateful and he's- he's....he's just a fucking asshole!" You yelled. Two was taken aback by your reaction, not expecting you to take her teasing so seriously. Everyone was looking at you, including Four and Five, and you'd never felt so exposed before. You could feel your cheeks began to burn so you shook your head and went inside your trailer, slamming the door shut behind you.

xx

You were laying on your bed when you got startled by the sound of your door opening. You sat up and groaned when your eyes met Four's.

"Haven't you heard of knocking? What do you want?" You got up from your bed and walked to the opposite direction of him, turning your back at him.

"Five told me I should say thank you for saving my life so, here I am." he was standing awkwardly in front of the door, his hand buried in his pockets. You scoffed.

"Yeah whatever. You're welcome, I guess. Now get out."

"What's your problem, Eight? Seriously. What's this all about?" he suddenly spat, making you turn around. "What did I ever do for you to hate me so much?" he added.

"What's my problem? I risked my fucking life for someone who wouldn't do the slightest for me, that's my goddamn problem !" you yelled, not even caring if the others could hear you. Tears were threatening to fall from your eyes but you fought hard to hold them back. Four stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. He broke the silence after a few seconds.

"You know that's not true, Eight." his voice was soft. So much softer than it had been only a moment before, which only made you want to cry harder.

You scoffed again and shook your head. "Oh come on. You and I both know it's true."

"Eight, come on..." Four took a few steps towards you and reached for your arm but you pulled back quickly, as if his touch would burn your skin.

"Y/N."

"What?"

"My name. It's Y/N."

Four could see how sad and broken you were, and to his own surprise he found himself wishing he could make all your pain go away. You two just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Four was obviously not expecting this when he walked into your trailer. He thought you'd be fighting again like you always did, but finding you so broken was the very last thing he expected to be confronted to. This time you were the first one to break the silence.

"I'm not the person I used to be." You confessed. "I can't even recognize myself and I don't know why I act the way I do." You choked out, as Four watched you with a sympathetic expression. "I'm so fucking pathetic I just-, I'm so sorry."

"Come here, Y/N." He opened his arms for you and you walked into them without hesitation, not caring about anything else at the moment. Him calling you by your real name was enough for you to let go and put all your bitterness aside. No one had ever held you since you joined the Underground, this being one year ago. But that's all you needed. To know that you were still a human being, worthy of being loved and cared about. You allowed yourself to sob against Four's shoulder, something you never thought you'd ever do.

"I just want to feel alive again."

[scifinal]

DW s12e10: It's Quite Unfortunate That This Child Keeps On Regenerating

It's only fitting that the first post on a blog called "SciFinal" should be about a season finale.

Not that fitting is the fact that in said post I'm going to begin where it all started for me.

Part One: How I Even Got into This Mess of a Show in the First Place

While I call myself a huge Doctor Who fan, even a – *gasp* – Whovian, I must admit I am not as familiar with the franchise as I would like to be; I've seen the new show, I've seen Torchwood (though, admittedly, I had to force myself to finish the fourth season – but that's a story for another day), I've listened to a handful of audio dramas (including Kaldor City, which I consider to be canon for both DW and Blake's 7) – mostly Torchwood audio dramas, but who cares, – I've read a couple of comics, I've got a novel or two somewhere on my bookshelf, I've seen the first couple of seasons of the classic show, but that's about it. I can't say I grew up with it – it wasn't on TV when I was a kid, there isn't an official Ukrainian dub, et cetera, et cetera. I first heard about it when I was about thirteen, when my classmate did a project about something they liked – and was pretty dismissive of my peers' hobbies at the time, believing myself to be somewhat above them, so I didn't pay much attention.

Then somebody finally pressured me into watching it (I believe I was fifteen or something back then) and I loved it. The first two episodes of the first season, I mean. I watched those, texted my friend something like "consider me a Whovian now!" and abandoned the show completely only to return to it maybe several years later.

I loved it. This time, for real.

Doctor Who has been with me ever since that time, it has a big soft spot reserved for each and every Doctor ever in my heart, and for each and every companion. I know full well it's cheesy, and it's stupid, and it's technobabble-y, and it's glorious in all of its cheesy technobabble-y stupidity.

And I hate this finale.

Part Two: Doctor, Why

I hate this finale – because I hate Chris Chibnall. Mind you, not the gentleman himself (I don't even know what he looks like, and I can't be bothered to Google), I hate what he did to Doctor Who.

Now, when it was revealed that the would replace Steven Moffat I felt... nothing. What did you expect? I had no idea who the man was. I know now he's made Broadchurch, and I know he wrote a bunch of stuff for Torchwood back in the day, including Cyberwoman. I had to drop Broadchurch because of how well-handled the depressing atmosphere was, and I love the flawed, dumb, sexy-cyber-bikinied, almost-fifteen-minutes-of-Ianto's-whining-including (I know because some time ago I literally cut almost every single moment of Gareth David-Lloyd whimpering, moaning, groaning, screaming, and mugging at the camera out of the episode and made those bits and pieces into a beautiful clip show called "I HATE THIS" to explain exactly why his face was and still is so punchable) mindless fun that is Cyberwoman (this is also one of the two episodes in which they actually do something fun with the pterodactyl living inside Torchwood's underground base). The latter also led to the creation of one amazing in how it develops Ianto's character audio drama entitled "Broken". I love Broken. I am now forcing you to look at its cover because of how much I love it.

Here we go. Now, back to the point of me rambling pointlessly

In his video "Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here's Why", a well-known YouTuber hbomberguy pointed out how Steven Moffat's problem is that he is more than capable of writing a good one-off episodes, but ultimately fails at managing multiple complex, overarching stories, as visible when you look at the difference between Moffat's individual episodes and his run on the show.

Now, I believe that Chris Chibnall suffers from the same affliction: he's a good screenwriter but a terrible, terrible showrunner. Sure, he's made Broadchurch, but Broadchurch, in its essence, was a complete singular story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. There were no bigger, incomplete arcs expanding at the expense of other episodes, and the show did exactly what it was originally designed to do: it told an uninterrupted story.

Here comes Chris Chibnall's run on Doctor Who.

Now, while Steven Moffat was ultimately not very good at managing overarching stories, he tried to do so nonetheless, and the fans seemed to like his attempts. And while I can't be sure as to whether it was Chris' original vision for the show or he and his co-writers were merely trying to emulate Moffat, he attempted the same. A friend of mine has even pointed out how, to her, it was painfully obvious how the writers of the finale were desperately trying to copy Moffat's style (to give you some context, she grasped it from a 30-second clip of the CyberMasters' reveal, and that clip basically consisted of me filming my laptop's screen and laughing at their design, making the video wobbly and the audio distorted). At the time of writing this post this friend hasn't seen a single episode of Chibnall's era and, as far as I know, has no wish to do so – mainly because of two reasons that both have something to do with the finale:

Somebody's already spoiled it for her, so who cares;

I ranted to her about how shit this finale is and now she hates everything about Chibnall era.

I am very sorry for the latter, since I genuinely believe there are some nice episodes in these seasons, and I especially like the "historical" ones, they really are quite a lot of fun, I like Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fighting badly CG-ed alien scorpions, I love Lord Byron and Mary Shelley running around a haunted house trying to escape from a Cyberman (even though it's all too similar to the Agatha Christie episode from Russel T Davies' run), I adore that episode about Rosa P–– oh, wait, no, that one was crap and ripped off Blake's 7... Anyway, I love Jodie Whittaker's Doctor, I am a big fan of Graham, I like Ryan just fine, and I can put up with Yaz, even though it's been two seasons and I've still got no idea what's her personality supposed to be, and I absolutely love the new Master (he reminds me of a cute little pug with a big Tommy gun). There is plenty of good stuff in these two seasons, they are lots of fun to watch, but this finale... Oh god, this finale.

Part Three: We Had All of Time and Space at Our Fingertips and We Ended Up with This

We are getting to the point of this whole thing. I would love to begin with the obvious, the twist, but there's so much wrong with this who-cares-how-many-parter than this one big thing.

It is inept. It is impotent. It is incompetent. It is bad at almost everything except its okay camera work, somewhat good (for a British TV show, I mean) effects, and its really solid performances.

Its editing is tone-deaf to the extreme. There is a moment in the final episode where Ko Sharmas asks who will be the first to cross the Boundary and step into the unknown, and immediately it cuts to Yaz walking towards it, all fast and silent. I would love to show you a clip of it, but I don't have one and I can't force myself to download the episode and sit through this shitshow again just to present you with a ten-second clip. Nonetheless, that part is not edited like a dramatic moment. You edit comedies this way. Bad comedies. Bad editors edit bad comedies this way.

Its plot is incoherent. There are several plot threads in this finale, and they're managed in a way that doesn't make the viewer care about all of them at the same time, rather the viewer goes "oh, I've completely forgotten this was happening" and then, before they can even begin to care, the show cuts to something else. It's all over the place and oh so annoying.

The plot armour is painfully obvious despite every attempt to disguise it. There wasn't a single, solitary second when I believed the Doctor was really going to sacrifice herself and, lo and behold, here comes the old guy ex machina to do it for her. The only questions I was asking at that moment were "How are the writers going to prevent the Doctor's death now that they've seemingly created themselves a way to go on forever?" and "How can Whittaker care so much about her performance in this scene she's literally almost crying?". I wholeheartedly related to the Master asking "So why are we still here?" and shout–– hiss–– mumbl–– whatever-ing "Come on, come on, come on!" – at that point I've suffered through at least forty-five minutes of utter nonsense, people going preachy, religious Cybermen with Dalek motivations, that absolutely ludicrous scene in the previous episode when the show was trying its worst to make me perceive autonomous flying Cyber-heads with laser eyes as a serious threat, a shit twist and... Oh.

I've got to finally touch on the shit twist, haven't I?

It doesn't make sense. No, I mean it. I guess it makes sense from the show's writers' standpoint to retcon everything in a way that would allow them to go on forever without having to come up with a way to circumvent limited regenerations, yes. And I won't be touching upon all the lore people say this twist has ruined. No. It doesn't make sense as it is.

The twist is revealed to us by a madman that claims to have hacked into a database, claims to possess control over the Doctor's mind, and gives the Doctor and the audience no actual solid proof that the Timeless Child is, indeed, the Doctor. We have Ruth, sure, and she's nice enough (damn, I want that vest), and she's a Timelord that happens to own a TARDIS that looks like a blue police telephone box, and she calls herself the Doctor. Here's Ruth:

I really like Ruth. She also makes no sense from the show's timeline standpoint, since the Doctor's Type 40 TARDIS only got stuck looking like a police box in 1963, so there's no reason for the Doctor to not remember being her.

We also know that the Judoon have identified Ruth as "the Fugitive"... except in one of their previous appearances in the show they weren't able to identify their targets exactly and thus were seeking out non-humans. There is a possibility that they were only looking for a Time Lord on Earth.

You know what? It's possible that Ruth is actually the Master messing with the Doctor. I have just as much proof of this as I have of the fact that the Doctor is some kind of an endlessly regenerating superbeing.

But this is not the most maddening thing here. I loathe it, but I don't loathe the twist itself: I loathe its lifelessness, I loathe how empty, how unemotional, almost robotic it feels. When somebody'd spoiled the finale for me, I got angry, and I started asking questions, and when later I saw the actual thing...

This gif. I can't even explain how accurate it is. I stood there, in the middle of my kitchen, episode paused, holding a cup of cold tea and desperately looking around as if in my surroundings I could somehow find that emotional reaction that this show failed to evoke. I was ready to burst into tears of how empty it felt, and how empty I felt, and how the same show that has Christopher Eccleston go from literally foaming at the mouth with pure hatred to shocked silence in a matter of second because of one sentence that you, a viewer, can't help but be astonished by failed to make me feel the tiniest speck of literally any emotion. And slowly, I felt that vast void in my chest fill with sheer, pure, flaming hatred for the person who made me feel nothing, for the story that left me not bored – but empty.

And the next moment, in its own unique way of being absolutely tone-deaf, the show introduces the CyberMasters, looking ridiculous, being asinine in concept, making me burst into laughter with their dumb design. Wow.

So.

Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who is no longer a show. Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who isn't even, as somebody on Stardust said, a fan fiction. It's a rollercoaster. A lackluster rollercoaster that lifts you from the vast caverns of frozen hell, devoid of any life whatsoever, soulless and abandoned, to the heavenly torture of being so bad, so utterly awful and ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh as you watch something you used to love be distorted and deformed to the point where you can't recognise it anymore nor really care. This is what Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who has become. And I'm going to continue my ride on that grotesque rollercoaster. I'm going to pirate that ride and get on it again. Because I'm a masochist. Because I want to feel something, even if it's hatred towards those that make me feel nothing.

Because some time ago my fifteen-year-old self watched the first season and learned a lesson that I hold dear after all these years – that I can't abandon hope, and that someday, somehow, things are going to get better. That the future is being written right now. That the future can change.