#mrs wickham may have influenced wickham's habits but not darcy's

[anghraine]

I have a more reasonable post in drafts, but ... despite cherishing my hatred of Arvedui close to my heart, I think my most towering, irrational, seething loathing of a character idealized by the narrative despite him making some dubious choices as far as I'm concerned is in Pride and Prejudice.

No, not Jane. I love Jane and she's strong just the way she is! But I never feel more inclined to just reject what every single character and the narrative is saying than when it comes to Darcy and Georgiana's father/Wickham's godfather.

Yes, he died years before P&P starts and we never meet him and he was super nice and everyone loved him. None of these things can stop the force of my hatred, though! I think he screwed up badly with both Wickham and Darcy, I don't buy their excuses for him, and I want to believe Elizabeth thoroughly redecorates that one room at Pemberley that's currently being maintained exactly the way Darcy and Georgiana's father liked it (down to a picture of Wickham still being kept there, half a decade after their father died).

There's something mildly unsettling to me about the shadow this man casts over nearly everyone he came into contact with, long after his death. Be free of him!!

[anghraine]

So I saw what the anon sent you about Darcy and I loved your response. It's the best interpretation I've read of Darcy's behaviour but - isn't it strange that he would have been okay with Elizabeth saying yes to him because it's a Good Marriage? Because he has flirted a bit, okay, but nothing very pointed. Like you said he hasn't tried to win her heart or anything. Isn't that a bit weird? I really love p&p but I guess I'm not as good at understanding it as you are!

Thank you very much! And since I’m answering this long after it was sent (sorry!), I think the post in question is this one?

I would say that this is actually where Darcy’s own cognitive dissonance lies. He understands perfectly well that his value to others—which he assumes includes Elizabeth—lies in his high birth, wealth, and power. He has sort of internalized that value system, enough to accord it some … well, value. But only sort of.

What I mean is this: 

At heart, Darcy wants to believe himself personally better than other people: more intelligent, more capable, more worthwhile as a human being. He openly admits to this after the engagement. That’s the driving engine of his pride, not the snobbery. Being valued as ~Mr Darcy of Pemberley~ isn’t emotionally satisfying. If anything, he finds it irritating, as Elizabeth points out. (Not that this wasn’t clear from the Netherfield scenes with Caroline, anyway.)

At the same time, the mere fact of being Mr Darcy automatically grants a certain prestige. Darcy is valuable in his mere existence. His exemplary conduct in the role helps, but is not at all necessary for him to matter to the world and be taken seriously. His parents spoiled him not simply because of personal affection, but because he was the only son. That’s why they allowed and encouraged that latent desire to think himself better than other people. 

(Wickham, otoh, was the previous Mr Darcy’s favourite Just Because. Wickham himself attributes it to their fathers’ friendship; it’s Darcy who credits Wickham’s personal qualities.)

Emotionally speaking, he does get something out of being valued for rank etc. It’s not what he fundamentally desires, but it is something, and he’s in the habit of expecting it. We see that weird subterranean conflict very early on—we hear that he thinks he didn’t receive “attention” from the Merytonites, even though he pretty much spawned a feeding frenzy simply by walking into the room and existing. And it turns out that he’s actively annoyed by deference and flattery. 

Darcy wants something he isn’t getting. But he has adapted to what he is getting to the point that he’s come to accord it a certain worth. This may sound like a relatively recent development, but I don’t mean that at all; he’s clear that it started when he was a small child.

The reasons why he developed a pride in social superiority, but finds respect for it unsatisfying, while wanting to believe himself superior as an actual human being, go largely unstated beyond his explanation of how it happened. But it’s not exactly difficult to imagine how a valuable only child who was nevertheless surpassed in his idolized father’s affections by a much more personable godson might end up there by eight years old. 

(Wickham could be the favourite all he liked; at the end of the day, he was slated for a parsonage, and lucky for that, while Darcy would always be the precious heir. Once that reality clicked, I suspect it profoundly influenced both.)

But back to the book. Darcy understands that his value to the world lies in what he is more than who he is. That’s the value system he was brought up with and which he (correctly, in general) assumes others are participating in, as well as himself. “System” is important there—it’s not a thing that switches on and off, but something which pervades every aspect of life. It’s easy for him to assume it applies to marriage because it applies to everything. Elizabeth (or anyone) will accept him because he is what he is, and that’s normal. It’s fine. 

…except it is not fine. He’s right that it’s typical and Elizabeth is the unusual one; it’s not weird in that sense. Lots of people approached marriage that way. But for someone who is deeply invested in his worth as a human being, it’s not right at all. And he was incapable of understanding that, until Elizabeth.

[beatrice-otter]

#lady anne is way more blorbo despite the implications of being more flawed#but like. lady anne likely contributed to darcy's classism but she doesn't seem to have had any impact on wickham#mrs wickham may have influenced wickham's habits but not darcy's#the common factor is this one guy who is still exerting a charisma stranglehold on everyone who knew him#yes there WAS great mismanagement of darcy's and wickham's educations and it was THAT GUY#darcy trying to explain how his parents screwed up while defending his father's perfection while not mentioning wickham is just. whew.#i love georgiana and darcy and hate wickham but tbh i want all of them to get out of their father's/father figure's shadow

I have a more reasonable post in drafts, but ... despite cherishing my hatred of Arvedui close to my heart, I think my most towering, irrational, seething loathing of a character idealized by the narrative despite him making some dubious choices as far as I'm concerned is in Pride and Prejudice.

No, not Jane. I love Jane and she's strong just the way she is! But I never feel more inclined to just reject what every single character and the narrative is saying than when it comes to Darcy and Georgiana's father/Wickham's godfather.

Yes, he died years before P&P starts and we never meet him and he was super nice and everyone loved him. None of these things can stop the force of my hatred, though! I think he screwed up badly with both Wickham and Darcy, I don't buy their excuses for him, and I want to believe Elizabeth thoroughly redecorates that one room at Pemberley that's currently being maintained exactly the way Darcy and Georgiana's father liked it (down to a picture of Wickham still being kept there, half a decade after their father died).

There's something mildly unsettling to me about the shadow this man casts over nearly everyone he came into contact with, long after his death. Be free of him!!