#most likely for tao!retainer but if it doesn't work i'll use it elsewhere

[canonical-transformation]

This morning's written on the train WIP is dedicated to @fishareglorious for reasons that should become obvious enough.

It was a routine patrol. A couple of drunkards catcalling down by the docks, half a dozen lost tourists looking for their inn, and that was it. An ordinary night for an ordinary Millelith harbour patrol squad.

Boring though these patrols might be, it was an essential part of keeping the piece. And tonight, as they had the past couple of nights, Yanbo and Meiwen entertained themselves by hazing the newbie.

('Hazing' might be too strong of a word, honestly. They just made conversation and she answered while shuffling around awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.)

Was she really named Mingzi? "Yes." Like, spelt ‘名字’? Her parents literally named her 'Name'? "They, uh, weren't very imaginative." How did Liyue Harbour compare to her home town? "Uh... more crowded. And more boats." Did she like it here? "Yeah, definitely!" Why did she transfer here? "To investigate— uh, to investigate whether a change of pace would be good for me."

It was rare to see someone this shy on field duty, but hey, diversity! And Mingzi was excellent when it came to the business end of the job.

"You know who she reminds me of?" said Meiwen, casually twirling her spear.

("Don't twirl it like that!" said Mingzi, horrified, "that's against regulation! Someone could get hurt!")

"Who?" said Yanbo.

"The Fontainian girl who used to work at Three Moons Teahouse. Before the old management got arrested and they rebranded to Third Round Knockout."

"Oh, yeah!" said Yanbo, "Mingzi does look a bit like her."

"Alice, I think her name was?" said Meiwen.

"Alias," muttered Mingzi. "Her name was Alias."

"Oh, so you know her?" said Meiwen, dropping into her teasing 'big sister' voice.

Mingzi scowled. "No."

"Well, you look a lot like her," said Yanbo. "Hey, you've even got that same horsetail-coloured hair..."

"We look nothing alike!" protested Mingzi. "That waitress wore sunflowers in her hair. And she had a Fontainian accent. I have a ponytail and no accent. There's no resemblance."

Meiwen was on a roll now. "Oh, you know who else you look like, Mingzi?"

Mingzi sighed. "...who?"

"The... um..." Meiwen snapped her fingers. "Uh, that new deputy chair of fisheries, the one who was in the news. Yanbo, you know the one, right?"

"Oh yeah!" said Yanbo. "The one who wanted to tear down those shrines on the north wharf to make space for a cargo lift..."

"Her?" said Mingzi. She laughed scornfully. "Way off the mark again. That woman wears her hair in pointed buns that take half an hour to get right. I have a ponytail. No resemblance... and also, she's the deputy chair of zoning, not fisheries."

"Shit, was was her name..." muttered Meiwen.

Yanbo vaguely recalled. "Keqing?" he guessed.

"Yes? What is it?" said Mingzi.

Squad Leader Lu held up his hand and the other three came to a halt.

"Do you hear something?" he said.

Yanbo, Meiwen, and Mingzi listened carefully for a few seconds.

"Shouting," said Mingzi decisively. "Some form of altercation. We should investigate, sir."