#mortifying: author has personal investment in content they've created

[meyerlansky]

🦉☕🌷

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

on the one hand i’ve been avidly reading for 30 years of my life and reading fic specifically for ~25; at this point i’m just a patchwork of every author i’ve read and enjoyed and i have no idea how to tease out what’s inspired what. on the other @goatsandgangsters perpetually “yes and”-ing any idea i have, even if it's a fandom we don't share and they have no interest in, is like. the number one reason that i get anything done ever.

☕Coffee or tea while you write?

secret third option: hot chocolate 🥰 or a cocktail. both are good.

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

okay so like… i knew going in moon’s low (can't say no) wasn’t gonna go too far, and i feel pretty comfortable with that assessment even though it’s my newest thing, given the way modern fandom very heavily front-loads engagement. it’s not the buckies, it’s not smut, it’s introspective, it’s short, and it’s not suuuper complimentary to bucky, so i wasn’t really expecting it to do much or go too far. i also didn’t plan for it to feel… as personal as it did? not the specifics, i have never punched a friend in the face, but i have absolutely been in the position of doing something i didn’t want to do because someone i cared about asked me to do it and they were happy about the result and i wasn’t, and shoving that dissatisfaction down because what does it MATTER, they don’t want to hear it, they’re HAPPY. there’s also like… hm. i won’t turn this into a whole Thing on the sexual politics of topping/domination/masculinity/etc and the dehumanization doms/tops can be subjected to wrt being treated only as a vessel for what their partner wants, but as a butch with complicated feelings on how The Butch is seen in queer culture, there’s a looot of that in there too. i don’t actually think i resolved all of that stuff as cleanly as it could’ve been, but that’s part of what appeals too: they’re guys in the middle of a war, they don’t have access to any of the language we have now about concepts like this, and i think they’d rather claw their skins off than Sit Down And Talk It Out, even if it was on the table. but it’s fiction, so they can arrive at an understanding without TOO much emotional exposure, which is also my fucking pipe dream. ANYWAY. YEAH. MOON’S LOW. THERE’S A LOT IN THERE FOR ME.

questions/emojis from here!