#more like 'the mysterious flaming trash bag in your apartments dumpster disease' at this point lmao

[pigeonfancier]

TBC is done! My giant comic project is also done, and I'm both pleased and a little distressed: what am I going to do with my time now? Finish up my dozens of older projects? That's not very me.

I thought the ending would feel very bittersweet - I've been in a bit of a distressed kind of Mood about the game lately, not helped by the community's reaction to the ending - but no, I'm actually fairly satisfied with it, and I'm pleased that a great deal of the ending was ultimately left ambiguous. It leaves room for everyone to come to what conclusions they want, and with stories, that always feels the best.

In health news: I attended my dermatology visit, which was very stressful going in, and significantly less so coming out. The doctor apparently saw my chart, and got very excited, because autoimmunal pancreatitis is rare, and he thought that I must have it from IGG4, if I was having skin issues. So he brought in his entire gaggle of medical ducklings..

.. and then got disappointed to realise that I do not have IGG4 symptoms, which is a surprise to me, haha. Pancreatitis is so hard to research! I know I have autoimmunal, but I did not realise there was even a difference between hereditary and IGG4-based pancreatitis in the first place. He still used it as an opportunity to drill his students on pancreatitis, though, which was fun, and educational to me as well, haha.

He also gave me a referral to a pancreatric specialist with his network, too, which is nice: I went to Cleveland to get seen by one of the state's Top Specialists, per google and my GP, and said specialist was very thrown over the fact I didn't have substance-based pancreatitis. Very thrown, and kind of judgemental! Meanwhile, this doctor's first words after interrogating me on pancreatitis for his students were: "oh, you must get people thinking you abuse alcohol a lot, huh?"

It's very nice to have a doctor.. not assume I am lying, or immediately jumping to negative conclusions, lol. Very nice, and unfortunately, very rare! But his network actually handles autoimmunal and hereditary pancreatitis, and I am so relieved that there is potentially an end to sight in dealing with this. He seemed very certain there were multiple treatment options involving pills, rather than surgery, for it. I'm crossing my fingers!

Also crossing my fingers that, for all that I'm pleased over him inexplicably hyperfocusing in on my pancreatitis, he is not entirely correct on his diagnosis of my skin issue? He looked over the dark spots, asked a lot about family history and my grandfather's mysterious abdominal surgeries, and then immediately said, oh, this is almost undoubtedly Peutz-Jeghers Syndrome, and I probably just hadn't noticed any of the symptoms in the past, because pancreatitis is a good way to mask it, but my bizarre lip spots are pretty indicative of it. So go to the gastro he was referring me to, get the pancreatitis checked, and get testing for the PJS, so it can be treated!

And in the meanwhile, don't freak out! :)

Because, as he lovingly informed his ducklings, patients always look these things up on their phones and then spend the next three months freaking the fuck out.

And who am I, but a stereotype?

I'm not letting mysef froth over it too much, haha, or at least, I'm trying not to! Darcel and I do have markers for it, per Promethease, but that isn't necessarily reliable, and it's certainly not a diagnosis of anything. Still, I keep eyeing that, and then eyeing Cleveland Clinic's cheery note that "the lifetime risk of developing any sort of cancer is estimated to be as high as 93 percent", and midkey frothing. I would really just like to be healthy! I do not want to have to memorise how to spell fucked up German disorders! Going into an appointment to ensure I do not have cancer, and getting told "you don't have cancer! but eventually you might! :)" is not my favorite activity!

But if I do have it, whatever, lol. This shit is what preventative care is for, I suppose, and if I have to make time to go and get checked out regularly, I'll make do. The health complications and risks seem as if they primarily come down to not having preventative care, which is something I can work with.