#money will also go towards me getting the means to start streaming

[mortalityplays]

You need more free art.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.

You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.

We all need more free art.

So what am I going to do about it?

This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.

I'm going to do this:

1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.

This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.

Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.

2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.

Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.

Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.

I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.

2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY

To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.

On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.

You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.

3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS

Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).

The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.

4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE

I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.

tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!

[slutforfictionalwomen]

Gotta learn the consequences

Kinktober day 4

Natasha Romanoff x Fem Reader

Main kinks: Pain kink, breeding kink, daddy kink

Word count: 1,2K

Summary: Natasha is convinced that Reader broke a rule, which has its consequences.

Warnings: Smut, cum filled strap, daddy kink, pet names, manipulative Natasha, breeding kink, spanking, pain kink.

(Please tell me if I missed anything)

POV Reader

The mall is loud as I compare two bracelets, so I can ask Natasha to get me one. I don't have my own card after all, Natasha makes the money so it belongs to her. I depend on her money, so I belong to her as well. I choose the bracelet with red stones that has a black cat jewel on it and turn to ask Natasha, but she's nowhere in my view.

I anxiously pace around the store, bracelet in hand. I look for Natasha everywhere, but when I don't find her I decide that she has probably just gone to the toilet or in a fitting room. I wait patiently, but she doesn't come.

After about five minutes of aimlessly pacing around the store, waiting for Natasha to come get me, I see the red-haired woman walking up to me with a quick step. I happily walk up to her, but then I see the expression on her face. She's furious.

"You know you're supposed to stay close to me at the mall! I almost lost you! What, do you want me to put you on a leash next time?" She grabs me by the collar of my shirt, tugging me with her, aiming for the exit.

"I'm sorry, Natty. I didn't mean to. One minute, you were next to me, the other you were gone." I catch up to her fast pace, now walking next to her instead of behind.

Natasha doesn't look at me. She just keeps walking toward the car park. "You still broke the rules, now you're going to face the consequences."

~

"Natasha, please!" I whine when she half throws me onto the couch. I know I have been bad in her narrrative, but I really didn't intend to.

"You know why this needs to happen, baby. And you also know what to call me in this situation, that just earned you an extra five." She unties my shoes and carefully takes them off, still taking on a nurturing role. Next to be taken off are my black, wide jeans (which she picked out for me a week ago).

"I'm sorry, daddy." I wait until Natasha sits down and pats her lap. When she does, I lie down with my butt up facing her.

"Good girl, now count." Her flat hand strikes my ass cheek, and I yelp out.

"One," I whine. It's soon followed by another smack. "Two," there is a shiver in my voice.

~

"Seventeen!" I cry out. Tears are streaming down my face. Natasha has heavily picked up the strength in her strikes, making me struggle to keep still on her lap.

"You're such a good pet. Are you going to be obedient from now on? Am I teaching you a lesson?" Natasha strikes another time.

"Eightteen! Yes, daddy, I'll be better." The words leave my mouth in sobs. I wish she understood that I really didn't intend to leave her side, I actually didn't notice her wandering off.

The last two are done soon. Now her hands are rubbing my bottom with lotion, the aftercare she always uses. At first, it stung. I know it does, it always does, but it still makes me jump every time. After the first few rubs, I relax into her touch, like always. My eyes flutter shut, my head resting itself on the couch.

I groan when after a few minutes of massaging, her fingers venture down to my soaked pussy. "Oh baby, you're all wet and sticky. I think that means I'm gonna have to take care of you." Natasha's fingers start to rub my clit up and down firmly, knowing my body well enough to know that's only teasing me. I whimper and buck my hips once.

"Mhm! Please, daddy." I know what game she's playing, and I'm playing right into it. I sigh when the firm rubs turn into soft cirlcles.

"Please what, pretty girl?" She chuckles softly, keeping up the pattern on my bundle of nerves.

I squirm in frustration. "Please make me cum!" Suddenly, Natasha stops. I cry out, I'm way too needy to deal with this. Natasha stands up, lifting me up with her arms. She puts me back on the couch in the same position as mere seconds ago, but now without herself.

"When I come back, I want to have you all naked with that pretty red ass up." That's the last thing she says before walking away.

~

When Natasha comes back, I am indeed in the position she asked from me. She gets behind me on the couch, leaning over me to kiss my back.

"Good girl. Now, I will make you cum. But you will get loads of mine, and you will take it. You're gonna take it, and carry my baby, like the good little slut you are." I don't think I have ever heard her voice this dark before. I get a bit nervous, even though I know she can't get me pregnant. It also turns me on.

"You can take it without stretching, right?" I don't even have time to answer before she thrusts into me, making me yelp out. Her hips go at a quick pace, meeting mine. At this point, it's fast, but not hard.

"Are you gonna take it like a good girl? Are you gonna take my cum? Let me impregnate you?" Her hand ventures down to my breasts, her other hand on my hips. When she starts playing with my nipple, it makes me whimper softly. A shock of arousal travels down to my belly.

Suddenly, I'm being flipped around. She barely even pulls out of me and immediately starts pounding again. "We couldn't have the cum leaking out of your pussy, couldn't we?" Natasha forces one of my legs up, my thigh to my belly. Her hand starts to play with my clit, which has me bucking up to meet her thrusts.

I glance down to see the fake cock sliding in and out of me, a soft moan escapes my mouth. I feel my orgasm building.

"Oh, you like seeing that, little slut? I'll sure take a mental note of that." Natasha starts thrusting harder into me.

"Daddy, I'm gonna cum!" I cry out when it's almost too late.

"Cum for me." I hear the grin in her voice,she has something planned.

When I cum hard, a liquid shoots into me. It came so unexpectedly that it makes me scream. I buck my hips, but Natasha pushes them down, squeezing more artificial cum into my pussy.

When she pulls out, she immediately covers my pussy with her hand. "We can't have any of my cum running out, can we?"

~

Half an hour later, I'm in the bath. Natasha is rubbing soap all over my body, making sure that I get entirely clean. Of course, I love the way Natasha fucks me. The way she makes me scream. But I think I love the way she takes care of me even more.

[artandshid]

*found this in my drafts and i was prob heartbroken when I read this lmaooo*

Eddie Munson didn’t do girlfriends, he didn’t do love outside of the platonic kind for that matter. Eddie loved girls, he loved sex, but the romantic bullshit just wasn’t for him. He didn’t have the money to pay for expensive dates, he didn’t have the maturity for a real relationship, and he didn’t even have anyone to bring a significant other home to. He had no family, I mean sure he had Uncle Wayne and Wayne was a great guy. But Wayne worked a lot and he was often grumpy when he came back from work, not the friendliest guy to meet. As a matter of fact, the only person in Eddie’s life who met Wayne was Y/n.

Y/n was someone very dear to Eddie. Y/n was Eddie’s fuck buddy, the girl that maybe he loved a little more than platonically, but most of all, Y/n was Eddie’s best friend.

The whole fuck buddy thing started after a horrible hookup on her end, and Eddie was certain that he could be better than whatever scumbag she went out with that night, and he was. He would never admit how proud he was of that, though.

Eddie is slightly aware of his feelings for his best friend, he’d never tell her, but he would be lying if he said her presence doesn’t make him feel better. That the sight of her doesn’t just have him turned on, but brings him a sense of inner peace. He knows what these feelings are, but he also knows that they’re wrong. People like Eddie don’t deserve to feel those feelings, especially towards someone as great as Y/n. So he’s just letting them be for now, because he knows that she’ll find better eventually and he’s going to be okay with that, because having her as his best friend is good enough.

“Oh fuck Eddie.” Y/n moans from underneath him, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

Eddie rocks above her, panting and moaning the entire time. “Fuck babe I’m close, so fucking close. Oh shit, here I come babe.” He says as his eyes squeeze shut and he fucks his orgasm into her, her climax quickly approaching.

He pulls out and rolls next to her, both of them panting. They make eye contact and smile, both of their stomachs doing flips, neither one knowing about the other.

“We did good, huh?” Eddie says jokingly and pulls a cigarette out, offering her one, which she happily takes.

Y/n laughs out loud and lightly hits his chest, “Shut up.”

“No I’m serious, that was one of our best rounds yet.”

She laughs again, but slowly goes into a trance.

Eddie lightly shakes her shoulder, “What’s wrong y/n/n?”

You look him in the eyes and Eddie gulps, “Eds, I think I’m in love with you.”

Eddie freezes, even though he’s in love with you, he also knows that your feelings aren’t real. Maybe you guys have slept with each other too many times that you’re just getting confused. But you can’t love him and you can’t be in love with him. You’re far too good for him.

“Eddie please say something. Please tell me you feel the same way.”She now has tears in her eyes knowing that she’s going to lose him.

“Y/n, baby, you know I can’t. I’m sorry, but you’ve known me for how long, I’m not a relationship guy.” He says and he shrugs you off.

You look at him incredulously. To not reciprocate feelings is one thing, but to completely blow you off by saying ‘i’m not a relationship” guy after all of your history together, is what makes you mad. And the tone he said it in, too, like an arrogant prick.

“So that’s that? You can’t say anything else.” She says with tears now streaming down her face.

Eddie is feeling a lot of things right now and that’s never good. When he feels too much he gets overwhelmed and deals with it by being angry. He’s never been angry at her before, though, but seeing her cry, mixed with her “confession” and he’s still dealing with his feelings for her, Eddie is feeling more than overwhelmed.

“What else do you want me to fucking say? You’ve known me for how many fucking years? Never once have I done relationships, and you’re no fucking different. What did you think just because we have a bit of history it would make any difference.” He yells at her, taking another puff of his cigarette trying to calm his nerves.

“‘A bit of history’ is that what your chalking up our years of friendship to now? You never act like this with me, and I try to be honest with you and you just lash out on me? I’m your best friend, not some asshole at school, try treating me with a little respect.” She says, finally putting her clothes back on while he stay naked under the covers. Even with the clothes covering her, she’s never felt more exposed in her life.

“Respect?!” Eddie laughs out loud. “I just had you a moaning mess underneath me and you’re demanding respect?” He instantly regrets saying this at the pain on her face, but again, he won’t let her see that.

“You are such a selfish dick, I’m leaving.” She says and starts walking out with tears and mascara streaking her face.

“I may be selfish, but at least I didn’t sleep with my best friend and catch feelings, ruining years of friendship!” He yelled back even though she’s already almost out the front door. Now he’s not only selfish, but a selfish liar.

[dnpbeats]

Why I Don’t Think the Secret Project™ Is a Tour—This Time With Facts!

Let me start out by saying I do think they’ve brought up another tour enough that it will happen at some point, I just don’t think it will be this soon! (Also keep in mind Dan did imply there are two things coming up in his Tweet.) That being said, obviously I could be totally wrong. But hey, if they do announce a tour in a couple of weeks, there has to be someone that gets clowned by the announcement, and I’m happy to take the fall <3 Post under cut as it's long (1.3k words 💀)

The main reason I don’t think they’re announcing a tour is timing, but I do also have something to say about the hints they’ve been dropping and why I also don’t think it necessarily points towards a tour. So, to start, let’s look at how long they spent planning TATINOF and II. In “The Making of TABINOF,” Phil says they are releasing the book (on October 8th 2015) after working on it for a year and a half, which would be April 2014. Presumably, this is around the time they started working on TATINOF as well because they were supposed to be companions. TABINOF and TATINOF were announced together on March 26th 2015, so almost exactly a year after they started planning them. Even if you want to guess that TATINOF planning started a few months after TABINOF planning, keep in mind that they originally only planned the UK leg and planned the US tour after that. The UK leg ended November 15 2015 and they announced the US leg February 26 2016. So that’s a little over two months of them planning the US leg alone, when they already had the show itself all sorted.

With II, we know they were actively planning it for about a year. Phil follows that up to say they planned it for “the majority of this year [2018],” so let’s just call it 10-11 months. More so than that, Dan said that they realized they wanted to do a second tour “halfway through” TATINOF, which in my best guess places that decision around summer 2016. This means they seriously considered doing a second tour for ~6 months before they even started planning it. 

Now, if the new project coming up is a tour, they’ve only been working on it for 6 months max. They only brought back the gaming channel 7 months ago, and we know from the end of Dan’s bday live stream that they didn’t start working on this project until they realized how many people still liked their content: “We were so shocked about how much people care about this light entertainment, sat-in-this-chair-ass content. [...] It took us by such surprise, and now we’re like, where is this going. [...] It was supposed to be a ‘let’s just do this for a bit and see what happens.’ [...] So now we find ourselves going, well okay, this channel, this content, the people, the future of it. What else are we gonna do? 'Cause it seems like there's a thing here.” 

So it’s up to you to decide when they realized that, but I think it was probably sometime in November at the absolute earliest, and then they still needed time after that to decide what they’re going to do, and then actually plan it. (And honestly, I doubt they started actively planning anything in December during gamingmas, but you never know!! Also like I said in my original post about this, Dan was still doing WAD stuff up until February and then some book promo stuff after that, so he was busy with that as well.)

So, that’s all to say, I really don’t think they’ve had time to plan an entire tour. At the very least, not a world tour, but I don’t know if they’d announce a UK-only leg and plan the worldwide tour later based on what they said about choosing to plan II all at once, rather than the split up way they did with TATINOF (also keep in mind that Dan announced WAD all at once, like d&p did with II). Idk I just don’t think they’d announce a tour without having it all planned!

Okay, so, besides the random hints that they’re busy planning something, we also have Phil’s comment about saving money in his Cactus Club post. He wrote “I also just wanted to make your cactus a lil more affordable as Dan and I get busy on what is …. next… ??” Now while this seems to imply saving up for something (hence why the membership needs to be affordable), he doesn’t outright say that. Then in his Q&A vid, he answers a question about what he’s cooking that specifically asks, “Should I save my money?” And interestingly, Phil doesn’t address the money part of the question. Now maybe he just couldn’t say anything about saving money, maybe it would've been too on-the-nose. But I’m also sure plenty of other people asked that question without asking about saving, which means he chose to specifically ignore that part. To me, it seems kinda weird to outright exclude that if the project is something people will have to pay a lot of money upfront for (i.e. tour tickets), but again that’s just my opinion.

(Also just a secondary note on Phil’s answer—he actually says, “Look, I can neither confirm nor deny something might happen in the next month.” I find the phrasing he chose really interesting. He didn’t say an announcement was coming, he said something was going to happen. Dan also never explicitly said to look forward to an “announcement,” he just said they’ve been cooking and to give it a couple of weeks. Obviously this could all mean nothing and maybe it is an announcement (whether it be for a tour or something else), but I actually think whatever the project is might be getting released not just announced. But idk!)

A moment of me speculating based on vibes (that also negates the note I just made about this potentially being a release rather than an announcement): part of me thinks this project might be something/similar to something they tried to get off the ground before but then never came to fruition! This gifset by @reunitedinterlude got me thinking about projects that they didn’t get to do for various reasons (namely COVID lol). I think one of these (either one of Phil’s ideas that he’s now brought Dan onto, or something they were trying to do together from the get go) would actually make a lot of sense for what’s getting announced. It would be something that they had already started work on, so it doesn’t take as much planning as something brand new, meaning it could be announced sooner. Additionally, I just feel like they’ve been so vague about what’s coming up, but they’ve also been super excited! They seem really proud about whatever they’ve been cooking. While I obviously think they’d be excited to do another world tour, part of me just feels like they might be this excited because it’s something new that they’ve never done before. Also, if it’s some kind of game show type thing, it would make sense that Dan said the project is a “celebration” of the gaming channel. But again this is just based on vibes lol.

In conclusion, I do think we’ll get a third Dan and Phil tour, I just don’t think it’s what’s getting announced(/released?) in the coming weeks. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the next thing they announce after whatever this upcoming thing is! If you think I’m dead wrong and actually other people have planned world tours in <6 months please let me know, I’m happy to be proven wrong bc I would love another tour :)

[bosinclairsgff]

Slashers Reacting to self harm scars Pt. 2

MAJOR WARNING FOR SELF HARM

Includes : Thomas Hewitt, Norman Nordstrom, Mark Hoffman, Herbert West

Warnings: Kidnap

You have been staying with the Hewitt family for a few months now. You had a daily routine, waking up early, doing your daily chores and spending your evening with Tommy. It had been a particularly hard week on the farm, Hoyt was being extremely difficult and hateful towards you. Tommy had been working super late every night and the heat was starting to make you feel sick. Everything combined just pushed you over the edge, so you did the only thing you could think of. You hadn’t relapsed in so long and really disappointed in yourself. Before starting dinner you went to change into a long sleeve top, even though you were burning up. Of course at dinner, Hoyt was the one to point out said long sleeve shirt. “Why the fuck do ya have on a damn long sleeve shirt in the middle of a Texas summer? I know damn sure ya ain’t cold girl.” He spits out making you cringe. Tommy simply grunted in response and that seemed to shut him up. After washing and cleaning up after dinner you decided to head to bed for a early bedtime. Surprisingly you found Tommy waiting for you in your shared room. “What are you doing up here love?” You question while making your way to the bed to sit next to him. He grunts in response. Being satisfied, you lean in and kiss his cheek. He leans into you. Getting up to take of your clothes, you start with your pants then shirt. Completely forgetting about earlier but it was to late you had taken your shirt off and by the angry grunt you heard you knew you had seen them. “I…I can explain!” No one did this to me I swear Tommy, I did it to myself.” You started frantically explaining. Immediately confusion and pain came to his eyes. Why? He questions with a tilt of his head. Tears start to fill your eyes as you try to find the words to explain to him. “I just was so stressed out and overwhelmed, I did the on,y thing I could think of. I’m sorry. I’lol try not to do it again.” You look down. Hearing the bed creak you knew he had gotten up from sitting down. When he got to you, he pulled you into a hug. Not being able to hold back the tears they streamed down your cheeks. The next day he made you let Luda May clean up the wounds. She scolded you but out of pure love for you. The next few weeks everyone was nicer and kept a close eye on you.

Norman had found you trying to break into his home a few days ago. Since then you’d been locked up in his basement, confined to a small padded area. Everyday he’d bring food, water and water his plants. Begging didn’t seem to work with him. You tried explaining you were hungry and needed money, that you didn’t mean him any harm at all. He never listened. Today he brought down a new set of clothes for you and a wash cloth. Even he must have noticed you were starting to stink. Your arms were tied behind your back, legs were free. You couldn’t fight back even if you tried, he was so much stronger than you. You were completely at a disadvantage anyways, having your hands tied. “I’m going to wash you off and change your clothes. If you try to do anything, I will hurt you.” He states in his low voice. You whimper in response. With that he comes into my little corner of the dark world. His hands travel up my legs looking for my jeans buttons and zipper. Once he found it he starts removing my pants, underwear with them. “Wait, wait, why my underwear please I need them.” You cry out. He says nothing. Reaching for the wash cloth he brought you, he began washing your lower half. Kindly, he avoided your most intimate parts, never going above your lower thighs. After he was done he pulled out a pair of boxers and some sweatpants. Norman also pulled out duck tape, bringing your feet together and wrapping them tightly with the tape. He then un did your tied hands, letting you finally stretch your arms out. Reaching for the new shirt he instructed you to take your shirt and bra off. You had no other choice but to obey. “I’m done, I took them off” you whisper. Taking the wash cloth he finds your arms but stops when he feels the light scars. They were to many of them to be a cat scratch or a accidental cut. “Why would you do this to yourself?” Norman questions. Staying silent and holding back tears, he grips your arm tightly. “Answer me. Now.” He barks out. “I was in so much pain, I just needed to get it out. Please your hurting me, let go.” You say slightly sobbing. Satisfied he let go. He didn’t say anything but finished cleaning you and dressing you. Getting up to leave, he turns back towards you. “You never have to do that again.”

You had been dating Mark for about a 6 months. Moving in with him after three months of being together. You’ve gotten closer to him than anyone has in a very long time. He cares about you so much, he’d die for you, kill for you. Mark knew you had struggled with self harm in the past, he’s seen the scars. You’d told him you had gotten better however and stopped doing that stuff. But, Mark had been neglecting you lately and things at work for you had been so hectic. With so much going on and feeling that you had no one to turn to, you cut again. You didn’t know how you’d hide it from him, you didn’t care at the time. As soon as you heard his keys Turing in the lock though, you cared. Frantically you looked for a long sleeve shirt. Just as he walked in you found one. “Y/n? I’m home, are you here?” He calls out. “Yes! I’m changing I’ll be there in a sec babe.” You respond. Fuck, why did you do that. What will you tell him if he see? You two have your normal after work conversations. He had brought Chinese takeout home for dinner. While reaching for plates to eat on your shirt revealed a bit of your arm, you didn’t notice but Mark did. “Y/n, what are those marks on your arm?” He questions but he already knows the answer. You freeze not knowing what to say. “Why would you do that. I thought we had moved on from such foolish behavior. You are an adult now, you cannot keep acting out like this, you know better y/n.” He shakes his head disapproving of your poor choices. “I’m sorry Mark, I was so stressed I didn’t know what else to do. Please don’t be mad I’m sorry.” You say holding back tears. He gets up and pulls you into a hug. “Either you control yourself of you’ll end up in some hospital where someone else will control you. That’s your decision. I love you, let’s eat.” He says letting go.

Herbert was always so busy with work. He would come home and go straight to the basement, to go and do more work. It seemed like he never had time for you, more like he’d never make time for you. To be honest you didn’t even know what you guys were. Sure you lived together and slept in the same bed but half the time he’d talk to you as if you were a dumb child. It was tiring always being talk down to. Yes Herbert was an extremely intelligent man but you weren’t dumb either. Anyways, with the stress of normal everyday life and having a man who constantly treats you badly you finally relapsed. You hadn’t planned on cutting again, it just happened. To be honest you didn’t even think he’d care if he saw it, you wanted him to though so badly. It was almost midnight when Herbert got home. You were still up watching tv in the living room. “Y/n? Why are you still up? It’s almost midnight. Go to bed.” He said calmly, more like ordered. “I wanted to see you and maybe we could go to bed together. You always come to bed so late, I miss you. Please?” You question. Herbert pauses for a moment thinking. “You know I have a lot of work to do y/n. You can’t be selfish with my time.” He states. You scoff at the comment he made. “How can I be selfish with your time? I never get any of it. You are always in that damn basement or at work. I go to bed, the bed is empty. I wake up, the bed is empty. We don’t even really live together.” You say as you feel the tears starting to form. He’s taken back by this sudden outburst. The living room was dark, only the tv lighting up the room. Herbert flipped on the light switch. That’s when he saw your arm. He’s whole demeanor changed. Walking up to you he grabbed you by the shoulders. “Why the hell would you do something so, so, stupid!? What if they got infected or what if you cut to deep, huh? Then what? Do you want to die y/n!” He shouts. You couldn’t stop the tears. You’ve never seen him so angry and hurt. “I need to clean these up.” He calmly states while dragging you to the bathroom. The room is silent aside from Herbert getting  alcohol to clean the cuts with from the cabinet. “This will burn, you probably won’t mind though considering you did this in the first place.” He says coldly. It did sting, you cry out and try to pull away but he holds you in place. “Nu huh, you don’t get to run from it. You wanted to feel pain, so feel pain.” He whispers in your ear. You’ve never seen him act so coldly towards you. After the burning went away he wrapped your arms with gauze to make sure it stays clean. Herbert walked you to the bedroom and made the bed for you. “I want you to go to bed now y/n. I’m very disappointed in you. I never want to see you do something so stupid again. Do you understand me?” He questions. You only nod in response.

[brooooswriting]

Hello, I hope you have a great day <3

Jenna Ortega x female reader.

where R saves Jenna from a creepy fan/St4lk3r

They try to touch her and make her uncomfortable (kidnapping attempt if you want extreme shit) and R butts in and helps her

After that Jen has a panic attack but R finds and comforts her

by all means feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable

Situations

Situations 2, situations 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Jenna Ortega x reader

Tw: mentions of assault

Walking around California alone after sunset wasn’t always the best idea, a lot of people knew. There were people who just waited for you to not pay attention, there were men who cat called you, some who went further and there were high ones that will always try to touch you in some way. Of course there were also some normal ones that were going for a walk and some that were just high looking for the beach.

You didn’t plan on walking that far but that night the weed just hit a bit harder than normally and it was actually a really beautiful night. Riding your skateboard thru the city while gazing at the stars was beautiful and you were deep in your thoughts until you heard a shriek not far away.

You thought about ignoring it but the muffled scream that followed made you ride faster towards the sound. Even tough you were still kinda high you immediately saw what was going on, a petite brunette was cornered by some dude who towered over her. The girl caught your eye, the pleading look in her eyes made your blood boil.

“Hey, step away from the girl man” you called out as you walked further towards them. The guy wasn’t stupid, he really chose the darkest alley he could find. “This isn’t your business, so fuck off” he called out and closed in on the poor woman. “Look, I’ve had a great night until now and I really don’t feel like fighting. So why don’t you step away so I don’t have to step in even further?” You tried to be reasonable, you didn’t want to scare the girl even further.

“Why don’t you go and mind your own fucking business? The slut was clearly asking for it and the money I will make with pictures of her naked” you could hear his smirk and that was the moment you were done being reasonable. You walked closer until you could grab his shoulder to pull him around. The fist that collided with his face broke his nose before pushing him to the ground. After kicking him once more for good measure you turned to the brunette who was still pressed against the wall.

“Are you alright hun?” You asked carefully, keeping your distance so you wouldn’t scare her. Slowly extending your hand in case she wanted some comfort. It took a minute before she took your hand. Softly grabbing her hand you pulled her into the light where you first noticed two things; one: the girl seemed familiar, two: she was breathing heavily and had tears streaming down her face.

“It’s alright, I’m here and he won’t be able to get to you again alright?” You looked at her with concern in your eyes, your thumb rubbing over her hand. “I’m sorry but you seem familiar… what’s your name darling?” Her breathing started to pick up again which caused you to quickly wrap her in your arms. “It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me. Take a breath with me ok? In…. And out” carefully guiding her to take deep breaths while rubbing her back.

When she calmed down a bit she pulled away and mumbled “Jenna Ortega” and watched the wheels in your head turn. “You’re the chick from the new series… Wednesday, right?” You finally asked, a bit embarrassed that you didn’t recognize her immediately. She nodded grinning up at you “you’re pretty high huh?” She giggled when you nodded scratching the back of your neck.

Her giggling quickly stopped when you heard a groan and saw the guy from before coming out of the alley trying to grab the girl again. You pushed her behind you before stretching yourself so you could tower over the guy. “I told you to leave her alone didn’t I?” You smirked before hitting him again but this time way harder. He fell to the ground again.

You quickly called the police before turning to the girl who seemed to be gone. Confused you looked around until you saw her sitting pressed up against the wall with her legs against her chest and her face buried between her knees. “Jenna?” You carefully whispered as you came closer. The girl didn’t even look up which caused you to worry even more, “Jenna!” You said a bit louder and crouched down in front of her.

The soft touch on her knee seemed to get her out of her trance, her hands were shaking and sweaty, her breath shallow and her face covered in tears and ruined mascara. “Oh darling, it’s alright. The police will be here soon and until then I’m protecting you” you reassured her holding out your hands again. Her shaking hands touched your steady ones which seemed to calm her a bit. “I’m gonna put one of your hands on my heart to calm you a bit. Is that okay?” You whispered out which caused her to nod.

With her hand on your heart, your other hand brushing thru her hair and the constant whisper of reassurances it took around 10 minutes to calm her down. “There we go, pretty girl” you said in a low voice while your hands came to her face so your thumbs could wipe away the tear stains on her face. She giggled slightly which caused you to smile.

Jenna was exhausted. Exhausted and confused, how could a girl that she just met make her feel so safe and valid? It was scary but at the same time it felt right, just right.

She couldn’t help but lean her head onto your shoulder when you decided to move from in front of her to sit next to her. “Thank you” she mumbled out while looking straight ahead. “No need for that”

A couple of minutes later the police came. The whole time you didn’t leave Jenna alone, her hand was clawing at yours every time you tried to give her space. “So what exactly happened miss Ortega?” One of the cops asked her as he pulled out a paper. “I was trying to get some steps in and as I walked along the street I was pushed into the alley, the man… he cornered me. Then he…he tr…his hands….” She started to cry again so you decided to step in. “I think you can guess what happened next” you told him squeezing the girls hand.

After everything was done the police took the guy away and you were, again, left alone with the actress. She looked around nervously and when you tried to Step a bit away her hand immediately shot out to grab your wrist. “Wait… can you walk me home?” Her voice got progressively lower but you could still understand her. “I wasn’t going to let you walk alone, just getting my skateboard, darling” you could see a light blush forming on her cheeks before you kicked up the board.

“Lead the way hun” you fell into step next to her. The whole way you guys talked, it felt nice. It’s been a while since Jenna met someone who didn’t treat her any differently because of her popularity. But you saved her even before you knew who she was. It felt nice, great even.

“I live here” she said when you stopped in front of a house. “Alright Jenna, it was nice to meet you. Really sucky way to meet you but still” you told her rubbing the back of your neck again. A habit when you were nervous. You wanted to ask if you could get her number but you were scared that she would feel like she had to because you saved her.

“Can I have your phone for a sec?” She asked as you were still overthinking the whole situation. Still in trance you gave her your phone only snapping back to reality when she pushed in back to you. “Text me ok?” She leaned in to kiss your cheek before walking to the door. “Thanks again for saving me” she said and disappeared into the house.

You stood there still shocked about what just happened. Opening your phone you saw a new contact ‘Jenna <3’ you were grinning stupidly as you put your phone away and rode back home.

The moment your back hit the bed you pulled out your phone again.

Jenna<3

You: hey it’s y/n

[biggestsimponhere]

Can you do Regulus black with prompt 9 from list 3 please!!!

You came - Regulus Black x f!Hufflepuff!reader

A/n: Maybe slightly ooc reg but i don’t think so

It was pouring. It seemed to always be pouring. You sit on the ledge of the astronomy tower with a blanket wrapped around your bottom half. Though the ledges window was wide open the rain was unable to come inside due to the spell stopping it. You had been up here for several hours. You were crying, not that you would admit that to anyone. Some slytherins had called you a whole bunch of things you would not like to repeat. You lay your head against the stone wall and watch the rain, hoping to bring some sort of peace to your mind.

The chill from the wind shifting through the tower did not help you feel any better. Steps echo up the stone stairs alerting you to someone’s presence. You sigh turning your attention to the entrance. A hand wraps around the cement at the top of the landing, you know that hand, those rings. Regulus, he’s here. You breathe out in relief as he approaches you. He frowns slightly as he takes in your appearance. “You’re going to catch a chill” is all he says as he joins you on the ledge. “You came” You say as he slides under the blanket. “You called” He replies as he leans his head back. The two of you sit in silence as you wait for the other to say something.

You guess you should probably explain why you summoned him up to the tower. “I-i heard something,” you start and then stop to glance up at him. He nods his head for you to continue. “Some slytherins, they were saying things… about me, about your brother, about you” You say quietly, practically whispering. You look at his face trying to figure out how he feels but it stays expressionless. “What did they say?” He asks calmly. “They called me a slut, they were also saying awful things about your brother. They didn’t really say anything mean about you, it was more focused on your friendship with me” You sigh as you turn back towards the window.

“What about us?” He asks, his expression shifting into one of concern. Tears fill your eyes as you remember the countless sentences you heard. “They said i’m just a slut who wants your money,” Your voice breaks as you continue. “They said you shouldn’t even be t-talking to me because i’m useless and not worth it” You sob through hiccups. He breaches the gap between the two of you to cup your face. Tears stream out of your eyes as you lean into his palm. “You know none of that matters to me. You’re my friend. More even, you mean more to me than anyone else” He says as he pulls you close.

“I just- I want people to accept me, i want your friends to accept me” You cry into his shoulder. Your tears are soaking into his robe, you’re probably also getting snot on it but he can’t bring himself to care. “I love you, they will accept you” He says stroking your hair. “You l-love me?” You look up. This is the first time he’s ever told you that. “y-yeah,” he stutters “i’ve always loved you, you’re the first person who’s ever showed me love” he continues. You pull yourself away to look into his face. “I love you regulus black” You say softly. “and i love you y/n l/n” he sighs, resting his forehead against yours.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 14 thoughts

okay, i didn’t watch an episode yesterday. so the thought of being reunited encourages me. although i’m still a bit bitter about the last episode, i guess considering it some sort of cosmic “opposite day” makes it more palatable. still. new episode!! 

well. new to ME, at least!

and it mentioned gargoyles in the description?? the stone fellows? i actually think gargoyles are cool as hell. some of them look wretched on purpose- which i am less fond of- but others are very cute.

but i’m unaware of them possessing any sort of life or supernatural capability beyond being funky little guys. and to me, they don’t look like creatures who have a craving for blood. perhaps mulder knows something i do not…

we open on a naked man. he’s quite beautiful. posing for some art students. good way to make some decent money, if you’re comfortable doing such a thing.

a guy in the corner is drawing furiously and trembling. but he’s drawing a spoooooky creature and not the handsome man we see on the screen!

AUGH he sliced his finger and IS DRAWING with the BLOOD?? no ma’am. no ma’am. 

the trembling blood artist is rushing out and running into people. and we see a gargoyle on top of the building he is leaving!!! an ominous sign? or a nice little guy?

handsome model man is getting in a car in a back alley. we hear a thunk. oh no. i see where this is going…. someone in a mask jumps on him

the artist wakes up. his name is john. and the FBI bursts in, mulder included! john bites someone who is arresting him!! yowch!

his room is full of very spooky drawings, covering the walls and everything. all gargoyle looking creatures. hey, maybe he’s goth??? you thought about that?? maybe he streams the cocteau twins and doodles some creatures... can’t a guy have hobbies?

not defending the killing of people. just the freaky drawings.

some guy takes a picture off of the wall, then he finds john's artist knife thingy and it’s covered in blood. the question is: is it his own? because we did see him slice that finger.

mulder's office time. so this john is an immigrant from uzbekistan, but he spent almost a decade in an insane asylum.

SCULLY IN RED!!! SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. WOW! 

she says this guy killed at least 7 people. and apparently he claimed to be possessed, which is a thing that lots of killers do to distance themselves from their crimes. seems plausible to me.

skinner name drop!!!!!!!! he was the one that put them on this case. good to know he’s still around, tasking them with things. 

(it seems i have grown fond of skinner, despite our tumultuous time together. i am sure my feelings towards him will continue to fluctuate)

so john has been in custody for 5 days, BUT yesterday, another killing took place with the same signature face gashes. who did it!!

off to da prison. scully asks john why he isn’t using his bed. and it is because john is drawing on the floor. also the light hurts his eyes, but i think that would make sense if you were stuck in a dark room for many days.

he says that this creature he’s drawing was the one who killed those men and everyone knows his name. perhaps the devil, mulder suggests? no no, says john. it. scully’s like “well it’s fingerprints weren’t on the murder weapon; yours were” gag him a little…

but john calls them both fools. rude! 

scully asks if that is what happened yesterday- that it attacked again, and killed another victim in the same fashion- and john starts really freaking out because that means “it found somebody new”. so if it keeps jumping from guy to guy, i’m not sure we can ever really stop this thing short of an exorcism. if it really exists, that is.

the agents get called out by bill, who was the dude taking the drawings off the walls at the crime scene and who found the knife. he’s being mean to mulder, asking him if it was aliens. hmm. not sure i’m supposed to like his guy. 

but scully knows who he is, and says it’s an honor to meet him; he's famous for his FBI work. he asks if she also thinks it’s spirits, and she says no, and bill says well that’s strange company you keep. a shameless dig right in front of the man they speak of!

mulder looks sad more than angry, and says that no one would ever guess how mean-spirited bill is. and yes! maybe he can write a good book but damn, he’s being a jerk!

bill is offended by the possession theory because he worked on that case for three years and blah blah blah. doesn’t explain the second murder. bill claims that both murderers were acting alone. um okay?? that doesn’t make sense because then how would they have the same markings…

mulder is pissed at this guy and i don’t blame him. bill says john draws the gargoyles to keep the evil spirit away, mulder points out that is what they have been used for in the past, which pisses bill off further. scully is watching all of this like wtf. and he’s with some other dude who is staring at scully in a manner i don’t care for. we later learn that this second man is named greg.

mulder says bill has always hated him because mulder never worshiped him back when they worked together, even if everyone else did. ohhh, mulder says that to bill, catching a monster meant becoming one yourself. that’s juicy. i wonder what he means by that. 

(author's note: WE LEARN WHAT HE MEANS BY THAT!)

so now they’re at the crime scene, covered in gargoyle drawings. shoutout to props design. 

a cat jumps out and yells at scully!!! she is scared and i would be too! mulder says “it’s just a cat” like that makes it’s sudden appearance less terrifying, and she sighs and says she thought it was a picture coming to life. there’s a bit of a laugh in there, like she realizes how ridiculous that sounds.

mulder gets on his knees, peeks under the bed, and tries to call to the kitty LMAOOO AWWWWW but it sneaks away through a hole in the wall. they realize it’s hollow and it’s actually a door! 

scully still seems scared to go in there, asks to wait until there’s more light, and he pulls out a tiny flashlight lmaoooo 

meow kitty. and inside the door are horrific gargoyles sculpted out of clay. 

MULDER WIPES HIS FINGER ON THE CLAY AND LICKS IT? HUH??? then be starts digging in there. AND BLEH!! bodies. inside the clay!!!

he craves the minerals of clay i guess...?

he put the flashlight in his mouth so he couldn’t talk, and she kept yelling for him to tell her what the hell was going on in there, which he was not doing. too busy ruining some art that contains people to communicate what was in his line of sight, i suppose. but no explanation on the licking.

some guy is working in a glass studio when he is being approached. use the molten glass for self defense! but alas, something growls and grabs him. 

so now glass guy is in the hospital and greg is here. she tells him they found 5 bodies in the studio, all dismembered and with gashes on the face like this guy, the glass artist.

greg says that he thinks bill went to skinner and REQUESTED mulder on this case. and that bill tells him “mulder stories” after a few beers, about how he’s some kind of genius. HELLO? the vibes are weird here. why is he telling her this....?

and the victim in the hospital bed is gagging or gurgling a bit so the doctor asks them to please leave. i can imagine this would be distressing.

mulder is a library!! a big, nice library. reading about gargoyles, apparently named after a french dragon!! he’s flipping through old books and it looks like he has blood on his shoulder, which makes me concerned about his hands and therefore the condition of said books. he’s monologung about the nature of the human soul and taking notes. okay, a researcher! “is this the monster called madness?” <- how poetic!

AWWWW he falls asleep on the books. WAIT STOP :((( why is this so cute… he was working too hard again smh!

bill scares him!!! and wakes him up!! RUDE! i thought it was going to be scully and it would be sweet but it’s this loser. he’s asking what mulder is looking for, and he admits he isn’t sure yet. 

and bill is back on his yelling at people bullshit, saying mulder is wasting his time, that john is only doing all this gargoyle art because he is insane. and he is MEAN!! he tells mulder that he’s disappointed in him and he comes back with a “well, i wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not disappointing you”<- ooohhhh get his ass.

why is he here at this library anyway? it seems unprofessional and stalker-adjacent. bill leaves with some more parting bullying and mulder seems really upset honestly. he looks out the window and sees A GARGOYLE! they're haunting him!

scully at the door to his place. she lets herself in. she’s so pretty. but where is he?

oh. he has covered his place with gargoyle art. so that is not a promising sign… did he steal it??? or is this his own work? 

we then see him back at the crime scene, staring at the same drawing that is in his house. so does he possess a copy machine, or a photographic memory and a secret talent for drawing? or did someone break into his place and target HIM?

why is he back at the scene of the crime? pacing about. what is going through your mind, strange man. why is he touching the art. while there are voices whispering. HUH?? MULDER POSSESSION ARC??? 

now HE’S sculpting stuff?? okayyyy artist!! at 3 in the morning. at a crime scene. he’s SLEEPING in john’s bed??

but he wakes up!! to a creepy gargoyle looking creature standing over him!! he grabs his gun and starts running. climbing ladders n stuff. but then he loses him. 

NO! the creepy guy jumps out and slashes at mulder. and then knocks him into a big pile of something soft. very lucky.

scully is with mulder now, he’s getting bandaged up, and she’s telling him how scared she was. “you turned your phone off? why do you even bother carrying it?” <- lmaooo

he claims he was “working” in john's studio at 3 am, and scully is NOT happy because she hasn’t heard from him in 2 days, which is a concerning amount of time to be apart for them!

he’s insisting that whatever it is, it’s real. and she says she knows about his “new wallpaper”, and that bill is “testing” him. with some sort of psychological torment? yeah, seems in character. 

he leaves without telling her where he’s going and she is NOT happy. she marches up to bill. and starts asking what the hell he’s doing to mulder. bill says he wants to finish the case and to “let mulder do what he needs to do” because she won’t be able to stop him.

HELLO? the man is going off the deep end. his best friend (who is a doctor) is going to be trying to help him. that’s an unstoppable force (mulder's desire to finish his quest) meeting an immovable object (scully's need to keep him safe and healthy).

fuck you, bill you’re really making me upset. because you’re making scully upset. and fuck your little henchman greg watching all this. 

but she notices a razor stuck in a car nearby. wait, do you think this henchman greg is the killer?

she finds the handle underneath the same car….

mulder is back at the jail, talking to john. asking why “it let him live”. he’s asking john to help him get deeper, to help him find it.

OH! he punched john when his answers weren't helpful. his mouth is full of blood. john says that only it can find him, and maybe it already has. 

MULDER POSSESSION ARC!!??? or is it an exploration into the evils people can be driven to out of desperation and a quest for answers?

scully took the razor and handle she found to the lab for analysis and she’s putting on some sunglasses to look at stuff. okaaaayy. 

AND THEY ARE MULDER’S PRINTS ON THE KNIFE!!! she is shocked. she has to excuse herself. 

she’s going to the archives and someone gives her a box. she just gets on the floor and starts looking through it. no time to bring it to a table, we need answers NOW. it’s the evidence box from the crime scene, and that knife from evidence is missing. 

and skinner wants to see her right away!!! what is going on?? she looks soooo scared. 

but she looks good. 

anyway, skinner asks if the knife she found could be the same as the one from the crime scene, and also, how is mulder doing? well, i would say, not good. she says she’s not worried about him, but he can tell she’s lying, because he says “off the record, so am i” no :( what did they do to him?!

mulder is back at the crime scene again? looking at the clay gargoyles. 

WHAT IS GOING ON... THERE ARE ONLY TEN MINUTES LEFT. HOW IS THIS GONNA GET WRAPPED UP?

that CREATURE ATTACKS HIM AGAIN!!! and he sees bill and the other guy greg there???

but it’s just a dream. okay, well i was fooled. guess i’m gullible. he’s actually sleeping at his apartment on that damn couch again. once again asking for mutual aid funds to buy him a mattress. 

anyway, he wakes up covered in sweat and surrounded by gargoyle drawings all over his walls. clearly a very healthy man /s

now he’s getting up and leaving his apartment. creepy music is playing as he goes back to the crime scene. to do more searching. now he’s looking at the gargoyles IN REAL LIFE. and the music is getting more intense.

the cat is licking some blood on the floor!!!! he follows it to a hand??? but whose….. 

greg calls scully, and leaves a message saying to call her back. but we hear his phone ringing at the crime scene when scully calls it! so where is he? well, i have a guess. mulder picks up greg's phone.

she asks about the prints on the knife, and he says he wanted “to see what it felt like in my hand” which is deeply suspicious!!! you’re scaring me!!!

she says mulder needs to stay EXACTLY where he is, and that she will be there in a few minutes so they can “work this thing out together, okay?” and MAN she is a good friend!! she will wake up in the middle of the night to find you losing sanity at a crime scene after you stole a murder weapon, and she’s gonna do what it takes to help you out. he says “yeah” and hangs up. he seems unappreciative.

he’s looking at a sculpture with great intensity. it looks very wet. and then he DIGS INTO IT AGAIN and finds ANOTHER FELLOW IN THERE. is it GREG??? it IS!

mulder hears a noise behind him and its bill. he’s adding two and two together- or possibly being delusional- and saying that greg knew it was bill who did the killing, so bill killed him. and bill’s hands ARE covered in clay. bill seems really confused. mulder has him at gunpoint.

mulder says that bill imagined everything john (the killer) did as he got deeper and deeper into his profiling over the three years it took to solve the case. and when he caught john, it wasn’t enough. by then bill had become the monster like he always said to! and he brought mulder in on the case for subconscious help!

scully rolls up and pulls her gun out. because let’s be honest, it’s not looking great for mulder. he asks her to put the light away- also suspicious- but tells him to explain. and then bill shoves her down. mulder helps her up and says “it’s him”.

next thing you know, they’re searching on the roof. i’m scared someone will fall over the edge. 

everything is very tense. and then the gargoyle grabs mulder again. we hear a gun go off! scully screams "mulder!!" and she runs over. 

he shot bill! right under the roof gargoyle!

now bill is in jail and screaming about “not doing it”. 

mulder wrap up time. “if a man’s character is his fight, this fight [against evil] is not a choice but a calling” <- ooooh okay banger line. gonna have to think on exactly what it means but it sure does SOUND cool.

closeup on gargoyle drawn in blood on the wall, presumably by the jailed bill. while mulder talks about looking into the laughing face of of madness.

hmm. initial thoughts: hmm.

this episode was used to dive into mulder’s psyche. to examine his past and also his fragility. he throws so much of himself into a case, that he almost loses who he is. 

but it also could have been the influence of an evil gargoyle... so: ??? 

i think that, in general, sanity is a frail thing. and we see how delicate it is, how people who are capable of evil can manipulate and terrorize. if you assume that mulder wasn’t in any sort of actual demon possession, it’s scarier, seeing how people can lose themselves. if you go with the interpretation that there was no real demon at all, and the urge to do evil came from bill’s year’s long quest to catch the killer, then that proves the point even further. in that interpretation, the result is very scully-esque, how the real horrors of life are the unpredictably of fellow man. and we could see how terrifying it was to her, how scared she was of him disappearing, not communicating, covering his walls with scary drawings (that we never really got answers on if he drew himself?), how the way he acted started changing, and she was losing touch with the person she knew so well because of how he was being manipulated. how she was going to do anything, from confront bill to track him down at 3 am at a crime scene to try and keep him safe.

i think mulder wanted to prove himself to bill, and so he pushed himself as hard as he did. he seemed really hurt by his lack of approval, which probably stems from mulder’s reputation for getting results, even if others consider his approach unorthodox. 

but then why would mulder cover his place with those drawings?? and why did he want to feel the knife in his hand? was it because he wanted to see how the killer felt before doing something so awful? if so, why now? there have been tons of cases before in which he could have held a murder weapon and pondered its use on taking a life. was it his glance into the history of gargoyles that got him all contemplative on the human nature and what evil is and if it can be resisted, or if it is something that is inside of you and unavailable? was he tempting himself to prove if he could resist it?

i’m a bit puzzled. i guess you can take a bunch of approaches here on who really did the killing- bill and john, or a force of evil- and why. and whichever read you take will characterize the themes of the episode very differently. please share what you thought; i’m curious on if there was a popularly accepted interpretation or one that the creators intended us to get, or if the ambiguity was intentional. i feel like i'll be gnawing at this one in my mind for a bit, trying to reach whatever it was saying.

it was very tense, but overall a pretty good episode. things i liked the best: mulder pssting a cat, worried scully, angry scully yelling at bill for messing with mulder’s head, an apartment entrance (she still has the key to his place <3), mulder falling asleep in a library after going on a quest for gargoyle facts (art history nerd? library nerd? you decide), scully in a red suit, scully telling mulder very firmly to stay still so she can come get him and they can figure whatever situation he is in out together, brief scully sunglasses moment.

wouldn't it be funny if they both got pets from a case? if that cat wasn't feral, he could have adopted it. taken it around for walks on a cat harness. a lovely thought!

[fromtenthousandfeet]

The Goose That Laid the "Golden" Egg

When Jungkook's Golden album came out I have to admit I was really confused about exactly who the songs were supposed to appeal to. The explicit lyrics in Seven and 3D really didn't fit with your average BTS fan. The collabs were strange, too. Usher and Justin Timberlake? Was this album geared towards old Millennials? Jack Harlow and Latto (who, by the way, is hardly a household name here in the US) - rap enthusiasts? DJ Snake and Major Lazer - EDM fans? Was the album geared towards men or women? Young or old? Like who the heck was the target market?

And then one day it hit me. I was asking the wrong question! The target market didn't matter one iota. The right question was cui bono? Or rather, who stands to gain? This got me started digging into the song credits on JK's album. And here's what I discovered - every collaborator has writing credits.

Let's break it down.

3D featuring Jack Harlow. Harlow has writing credits. Justin Timberlake has writing credits on the remix.

Closer to You featuring Major Lazer. Diplo, a.k.a. Thomas Pentz, has writing and producing credits.

Seven featuring Latto. Latto, a.k.a. Alyssa Stephens, has writing credits.

Standing Next to You Usher Remix. Usher Raymond IV has writing credits.

Please Don't Change featuring DJ Snake. DJ Snake, a.k.a. William Grigahcine, has writing and producing credits.

The features are paid up front for their collaboration, and then, because they have writing credits, they will continue to earn royalties from streams and sales. Not a bad deal for the folks listed above. The same goes for the well-known song writers and producers on the album, like David Stewart, Andrew Watt, Jon Bellion, Shawn Mendes, Ed Sheeran, and many others. Here's an article about how royalties work for those who care:

I shudder to think how much was spent on marketing Seven/Golden. I assume HYBE America paid for marketing expenses since Scooter was the one doing A&R while leveraging his extensive web of contacts in the music industry. I don't know this for certain, though, without seeing HA and BH's expenditures. Either way, someone paid iHeartRadio (among others) for media play and radio airplay. And then there were paid advertisements all over social media platforms, including forced adverts on YouTube that counted towards Billboard charts.

So much money was spent on Spotify. Paid playlists, paid playlist positions, Spotify Discovery Mode. I know Spotify also modified the search algorithm so JK's Seven would pop up first in the results when one searched for Jimin. If I remember correctly, this happened in YouTube as well (such a dirty move). Like, somebody got paid to rewrite code to override the search function.

More money was paid for media play with Billboard, Rolling Stone, Forbes, and I'm pretty sure NME and Consequence of Sound, too. There were probably many adverts I didn't notice. And then there were performances, awards, and his ad campaign which I won't discuss but I've definitely wondered who paid whom for that endorsement deal.

I don't need to go on and on rehashing 2023, but what I want to point out is that BIG MONEY was spent on the roll out of Jungkook's first single and subsequent album. Was Seven the most expensive single in pop music history? And cui bono? Not Big Hit, since essentially none of the in-house writers and producers were involved. Streams don’t yield big payouts and the digital singles and albums were often sold at a discount. Jungkook didn’t make huge bank since he had zero writing or producing credits. But Scooter Braun's clients and industry friends seemed to do pretty well. And just about every company that's related to the western music industry received payments for pushing and playing the songs from Golden.

So, I see two potential scenarios here.

Number One! HYBE used Golden as a means to, shall we say, line the pockets of the western music industry (cough...bribe...cough) so that releases from HYBE labels will get treated favorably in the future. Also, given the scope of marketing, media play, playlisting, and radio play, Golden could have been used for market research to determine where the company gets the most return on investment in terms of reach and charting. I think you can see this with the rollout of Illit's Magnetic, which has heavy Spotify Discovery Mode and a huge focus on TikTok, but very little standard media play via the traditional music media outlets. And no posters.

Number Two! Scooter Braun saw this album as an opportunity to financially enrich his friends, colleagues, and the companies he has investments in, like Spotify. Was he siphoning money out of HYBE by promising to make Bang PD's dream of western validation come true? Can't you see Scooter whispering sweet nothings into Bang's ear? "Mr. PD, give me a big budget and I will make you the biggest music mogul in 1,000 years!"

Whatever the grand scheme was behind Golden, one thing's for sure, the western music industry and social media platforms made out like bandits.

FYI:

HYBE America lost more in 2023 than Big Hit earned.

HYBE America Sales: 226.3 billion Net Profit: -142.4 billion won

Big Hit Music Sales: 552.3 billion Net Profit: 140.3 billion won

142 billion won is just under 105 million USD. Yowza.

In other news, HYBE Corporation was designated a conglomerate today. I'll try to unpack the implications of this if anyone is interested.

[invisiblefoxfire]

Listen up, fellow queers and token straights, we're not gonna whine about the lack of new media during the strike and we're not gonna waiver in our support of the strikers.

In the meantime, we are going to recommend to each other more already-existing media than any of us could ever watch given several lifetimes to do it in.

I'll go first. Here are just a few of the creators I care about and want you to support.

FREE TO WATCH:

Filmjoy: This YouTube channel (Movies with Mikey, Deep Dive, etc.) makes incredibly well-produced video essays on film and occasionally TV and games. The channel's focus is on positivity and finding things to love about everything. And YouTube doesn't promote that sort of thing anymore, so the channel's creators (one of whom has multiple sclerosis) are running out of money and close to losing their house. Binge these genuinely incredible video essays with adblock turned off or, better yet, sign up to their Patreon and binge them with adblock on. Seriously, I love this channel so much, and if they don't get a boost in income soon, they're going to have to stop making videos. And I want more videos. Seriously, even watch the videos about things you haven't seen. They've persuaded me to watch loads of stuff I never would have watched otherwise and they're very good about not spoiling things (and giving spoiler warnings when needed).

AyeForScotland on Twitch: This is Tumblr's very own very handsome pro-Scottish-independence @ayeforscotland who has an incredible accent and plays loads of interesting games. He's going for Partner on Twitch now, which he has already earned but been denied due to an absurd technicality regarding whether viewers being linked to the channel directly from Tumblr integration. Go follow him now if he's not live, and when he goes live, go to Twitch and manually click on his name to watch the stream, since that's apparently the best way to get him the boost he needs. He sometimes has @thebibliosphere on as a guest (DOUBLE SCOTTISH ACCENTS HELL YES) and you can watch archives of many of his streams on his YouTube Channel.

Africa Everyday: This YouTube channel is run by Babatunde, a Nigerian man who shares his life and culture, makes cooking videos, and generally is a pleasure to watch and listen to. Seriously he's one of the kindest human beings I've ever spoken with. The money he earns from the channel goes towards helping his family and his community.

CHEAP AND WORTH PAYING FOR:

Dropout.tv: You simply will not find better comedy entertainment for the money. A monthly or yearly subscription is just a few dollars a month and gives you access to countless hours of top-quality entertainment from a company that started their own streaming service rather than cater to YouTube's algorithm. This is the place that started as College Humor, but if you haven't seen them in a while, you really need to check it back out. They're incredibly inclusive in their casting and theming and the production values are insane. I recommend starting with Game Changer, a show which has made me laugh so hard I choked and almost threw up. They also have Dimension 20 (or D20), the highest-quality DnD series out there, with custom-made sets and minis, usually with a focus on sheer comedy rather than drama (most of the cast members are comedy writers or comedians) - but it WILL and I mean WILL make you cry now and then. The currently in-progress season of D20 is called Dungeons and Drag Queens and the players are four literal actual fucking drag queens including Bob the Drag Queen and friends? You need to be watching this. If you have any doubts about whether Dropout is worth it or don't have any money, you can watch many full episodes for free on the CollegeHumor YouTube channel, although they have to censor the swears on there.

Nebula: Remember Lindsay Ellis? She left YouTube because of [too many reasons to list] but it turns out she's still active, she's just on Nebula now. Nebula is the co-op of streaming sites. Users sign up for a low monthly fee and the income is distributed among the creators, weighted according to how many views they get. The videos are uncensored and ad-free and contain lots of stuff that later needs to be edited out of YouTube videos to avoid copyright strikes. They've got FilmJoy on there (remember them from the start of this list?), Philosophy Tube (@theabigailthorn), Jacob Geller, Extra Credits, and loads and loads of other stuff on all different sorts of topics. Many of these channels also have YouTube channels that contain most of their content if you can't afford a Nebula subscription, but Nebula supports them more and gives them more creative freedom.

I'm gonna stop here for now but I'll add more in reblogs as the strike continues.

I hereby invite all of you to ruin my notifications until the strike is over. Reblog this, add your recommendations (especially ones that most people might not know about), and pass it on. There will not be a single complaint about lack of things to watch while the strike is ongoing.

(Why yes I am looking for more things to watch too. I've already seen all of the above. Bring it on.)

(And if you have a few dollars to spare, support the strikers directly at the Entertainment Community Fund.)

[theshamelesssimp]

Caroline as a Wolf then Hybrid WIP!

Disclaimer: It has been been over five years since I have watched The Vampire Diaries and I haven't even seen The Originals so if I get things wrong or these characters seem OOC I'm sorry, I'm a master procrastinator and I only rewatched the first episode and a half of The Vampire Diaries a little under a month ago. So don't hold your expectations too high now. This is just a draft, it isn't completed, I am planning on it being longer than this since I want to get her first transformation, cute little moments with her and Klaus as wolves, etc., in this so, yeah. Also, i was going to post this draft sooner but it was so helpfully deleted so I had to remember what wrote from before.

Caroline walked out of the Grill, eyes focused on her phone as she made her way to her car. She sent a text to every cheerleader reminding them that they had practice after school on Monday and to let her know in advance if the couldn't make it. She hated making last minute changes to her plans, after all.

As she pressed send on the text she felt a hand grab her elbow and pull her into an an alleyway. She blinked, slightly disoriented and focused on the man in front of her. He was wearing a hoodie so she couldn't see his face all that well and he was a couple of inches taller than her with his build being on the bigger side.

He glared at her as he still held her by her arm. "Give me your money."

Caroline gave him a nasty look before scoffing and rolling her eyes. "I don't think so."

She shook off his arm and started heading towards the entrance of the alleyway just for him to grab her again, only this time he slammed her back into the wall. Caroline groaned at the pain she felt and open her mouth to snark at him but stopped herself when she felt something sharp press against her neck.

The man glared at her harsher this time. "I said give me your money."

Caroline hesitantly looked down and froze in fear when she saw the blade of a pocket knife press against her throat. Out of instinct, she quickly pushed him back with a strength she never knew she had and witnessed him stumble back and trip on his own feet. Time slowed down as she saw him fall back and hit his head on the dumpster with sickening crack.

Seconds have passed as her breath grew shaky and her hands became sweaty, staring wide eyed at the man who's eyes had become glossed over. She didn't see him move and ran over to him, kneeling down to put two fingers on his pulse, desperate to find it still beating. "No, no, no, please..." She begged.

When she felt nothing she removed her hand from his neck and it flew up to her face to cover her mouth as she let out a small gasp, tears blurring her vision when she realized that she just killed someone. Her breathing grew heavier and she frantically got up before looking around to see if anyone saw her.

Caroline found herself panicking, making stressed sounds and pacing around with her hands in her hair.

This couldn't be happening, what was she supposed to do? What if someone sees her? Why did this happen to her?

She had tears streaming down her face as she brought her trembling hands down and scrolling through the contacts on her phone before pushing on her mother's number.

She held the phone up to her ear, shaking as it went to voice mail and trying again. "C'mon, please answer the phone."

By the third call she heard it go through and the voice of her mother answered.

The latter sighing before talking, unaware of the predicament her daughter was in. "Caroline, you know not to call me when I'm on duty."

Caroline whimpered into the phone before she started weeping, her voice small as she spoke. "Mommy..."

The Sheriff froze before straightening her back and hardening her eyes. "Caroline, what's wrong."

"I–I didn't mean too, I–I promise. He j–just came out o–of nowhere and h–he..." She swallowed, looking at the dead body before snapping her eyes shut, her tone fearful as she continued. "He pulled m–me into the a–alleyway beside the Grill and h–held a knife to my throat and I–I panicked, I didn't know this w–would happen." She rambled unsteadily. "Please don't be mad a–at me."

Liz attempted to calm her daughter. "It's okay, Caroline." Liz gripped her phone tightly. "I'll be right there so stay where you are."

I'll probably post this here and on AO3 if I finish it so...yeah. I don't mind constructive criticism if you want to give that, just don't be rude about it.

[shizucheese]

So we're officially at the point where I don't have anything left to do in Stormblood. I mean, there's Doman Enclave, but I'm limited on what I can do for that each week. And I really want to stream Silent Hill 2 Remake when it comes out on the 8th, and I don't ant to stop in the middle of Shadowbringers to play it. So what's a girl to do? Get bullied by her community into playing Phasmophobia, of course! Thank you to all of the Snacks in the Pantry who donated to my Ko-Fi to make this happen. You did this to me. The plan for the next month is that we'll be playing either Phasmo or, once it comes out, SH2, with me taking a bit of time at the beginning of Sunday streams to do Doman Enclave in FFXIV. (maybe I'll actually have it done by the time we start Shadowbringers!) New Ko-Fi goal is to raise money for new emotes for the channel!

Catch me on Twitch every Sunday starting at 4:30 Central and every Tuesday and Wednesday starting at 7:30 Central, as well as on Fridays, starting at 8:00 Central, for Friday Night Writes! Our next big goal is 20 subs! When we reach it, I'll level a job in FFXIV of the community's choice and do the job quests on stream! Also, buy me a Cocoa? I'm on Ko-fi now! All donations will be going towards helping me pay for vtuber concept art, emotes, and other channel branding-related things! You can also commission me for editing if you're a writer! Get me to 20 subs by the end of September and I'll play Phasmo in VR for a 3- hour stream (I reserve the right to stop if I get motion sick).

Also be sure to join the Discord for news and hijinks!

[enneamage]

a lot of the tommy privs are follow now are bringing up a current streak of bad behavior. apparently there was an incident in amsterdam where he threw a tantrum over someone taking his bottle of head and shoulders shampoo (when there was another bottle) & went on a tirade against everyone trying to figure out who took it and demanding it back to the point jack had to yell at him to make him stop? mentioned on the ylyl stream with molly who went: “you didn’t just give it to him?” & well as making jokes about p*ppytwt and how people made art of him as a minor in call with tubbo and piso during mcc and they both got triggered by it and deafened and in his new video he compared himself to james charles

the last two i can get as him trying to be edgy / force the mature label onto himself so he isn’t seen as a kid for better or for the definite worse, but really can’t figure out a good analysis of the first one other than Oh Wow

would love to get your opinions

https://youtu.be/oUUVoob-aIw?si=UBTRzhQA1Z4J_T13 23:58 amsterdam story for reference

Oh okay I’ve missed out on way more than I thought, damn. MCC is usually too big for me to digest but if someone is willing to do up a timestamp I could check the energy out. 

One of Tommy’s engines is counterphobia, which is the compulsion to move towards things that make him uncomfortable or scare him in order to get a handle on them. He also tends to lean into this more when adrenaline hits him, so when he gets messy he really starts nipping. The thing is, I think his adrenaline / panic response has been really hitting hard between his self-admitted depression and working out the genuine trauma of his teen years, so he’s riding the highs and lows. 

I’ve sat with this for a bit but Tommy is very into material signifiers of safety, and he always has been. (If I was being dorkier about the enneagram in this post I would cave in and finally call him a Self-Preservation (SP) Six since those are the most concerned with food/water/shelter/physical comfort.) He’s very sensitive about money, comfort, space, just anything you can point to and touch and count. On the more abstract level he’s very into numbers and making those numbers bigger. On the inverse, he cannot seem to handle the loss of those things well. I have to wonder if there’s a specific trauma there, or if it’s just his default nature. I know people like to say it’s because he’s an only child, but even only children can learn after a while. 

Tommy needs mentors and examples for how to do things in life, and now he’s gone and made his life deeply unique to himself, which means that nobody can 'fully' mentor him (on top of how shady the entertainment scene is-- paranoia sits badly in him), and he has to figure things out himself while gathering bits and pieces where he can. For a psyche like his, this is not a great deal, especially not for his still-formative years. He’s going to have to feel a lot of things out himself, and that means an incredible amount of trial and error, in potentially dangerous amounts depending on what his choices are. 

[skysometric]

why, thank you for asking! i've been thinking it through for the last few days, i just wanted to make sure my answer was all written and ready to go first. all... checks notes... 4,000 words of it.

ICYMI, last week i sent asks to a bunch of my friends with a simple question: "what's your favorite game you played this year?" as i hoped, y'all gave a bunch of EXCELLENT answers, all of which i reblogged on my side blog @autumatically! (if you didn't get an ask like this and you want to join in, ping me – i sent too many asks to keep track of and i probably just forgot to send one your way!)

of course i wanted to answer this myself, but i wanted to write about more than just one game! and when i sat down to write, i just kept going, and going, and going...

so we're splitting this up! every day this week, i'll be counting down my top 5 games that i played in 2023. not all of these are games that i've streamed, and only one of them has shown up on anyone else's lists so far, so i'm really excited to reminisce and share my experiences this year 💖

maybe you'll even find a new game to try out? i'm certainly really excited to dig through y'alls lists and try some of the ones i missed out on this year!

to kick things off, let's start with:

Honorable Mentions

two games came out this year that i would probably put in my top 5, no competition. so why didn't i? because i didn't actually play them!

see, as much as i love to play video games, oftentimes i also like to watch them just as much. this has always been great for games that i never intended to play in the first place, like the Final Fantasies and Fortnites of our day… but lately it's also let me take turns with my partner on who plays which new releases.

in fact, for both of the games i'm about to list, i watched my partner play them in full and i've watched no less than two separate people stream them as well. which means, with all that oversaturation, it's probably gonna be a while before i play them myself…

either way! here's my top two games that i didn't play in 2023.

Pizza Tower

this one likely needs no introduction! Wario Land 4 is one of my favorite games of all time, and the way Pizza Tower extends those basic concepts is a masterclass of game design. the moveset is perfectly geared toward accessible speed tech, the level layouts are top notch, the different forms are unique and funny, the art style is GORGEOUS, the combo system adds incredible replay value and pushes the player to their limits…

honestly the only thing stopping me from playing this right now is that the levels are too fresh in my mind, and i'd like a little time to let those memories fade before i dive back in and experience everything in a wave of nostalgia. seeing so much of the game already was totally worth it, though – i had the distinct pleasure of watching my partner learn how to P Rank most of the levels, and the simple joy of watching her build up her skills is one of my standout memories of 2023. proud of you, love!

god, Pizza Tower is a perfect slice of video game. i can't WAIT to play it myself!

Super Mario RPG

as a young kid, i always wanted a physical copy of this game. i could never justify it, though, because i already owned it on Wii Virtual Console, and it was one of the more expensive SNES games i had my eye on… a whole $40 in 2007 money! fast forward to the modern day, and not only do i no longer have easy access to that old Wii copy, but a physical cart now goes for like $90???

blessedly, along comes the Switch remake. i still can't believe this exists – it's a perfect remake in every way, shape, and form! the sprite-based animations are lovingly recreated, the battle system is rebalanced in fun ways, and the music is PERFECTLY re-arranged. even the dialog, which i expected to be completely retranslated… it's smoothed over, but mostly unchanged! the original game's unabashed weirdness and charm is fully intact, and i did NOT expect that out of modern Nintendo.

this is one that i didn't mind watching others play; Super Mario RPG is all about the vibe, and this remake captures that vibe perfectly. i'm excited to play it myself once it's had time to settle! but, for now, i'm perfectly content just vibing with others~

[stellahikaru]

State of The Starry Path Hotel #4 (March 1st 2024)

Hello! Welcome to the fourth installment of the State of The Starry Path and the first one in March! I thought about doing a monthly wrap up but considering I didn’t get much done in February, I decided against it. OKAY NOW ONTO THE UPDATE!

Mini Life Update

It feels like I have so little time these days. I needed to help do some fixes for the main assignments of my capstone project so that took up most of my time and energy for the first part of the week. Then I was focused on assignments for my other classes for the rest of the week and before I knew it, it was Friday again. Man, I wish I had more time in general. 

On the bright side, I will be on break for next week! I can finally relax and take some time for myself. While I will need to do some school related things during my break, the fact that I do not need to go to class means I can focus on relaxing, playing video games, and content creation of course!

Content Creation Progress Update

So I ended up not really thinking about content creation at all this week. I feel terrible about it but what can I do besides move forward? Thankfully, I will be off of school for the following week so I can get some work done on YouTube videos.

This Week’s Goals

Make an ideas list and write down a minimum of 5 ideas: This goal is a holdover from last week but since I will not be in school, I will have more time to devote to it this week. 

Choose 1 idea and start a video script for it: Once I finish writing down some ideas, I’m going to choose one and start writing a script for it. Unfortunately I won’t be able to record any audio or gameplay because I won’t have my main PC with me, but 

Research editing software: I’m going to look for a free or low cost editing software that I can use to make videos. Even though I won’t be able to test it while on my break, I can still install it when I come back to my PC. 

This Month’s Goals

Make one YouTube video: I want to make a Youtube video this month even if it’s terrible. The majority of the weekly goals are going to be focused on this for the month.

This Year’s Goals

Get monetized on YouTube: I want to eventually make money off of my content so I’m hoping to get monetized on YouTube this year. This is going to be a tall order, but I hope I can keep working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Become an Affiliate on Twitch: Despite making Twitch less of a priority, I still want to be able to become an affiliate on Twitch. While I do need to find a way to meet the seven days streaming requirement, I want to be able to draw in viewers first. 

Gain 100 followers on any social media besides YouTube or Twitch: I actually am over halfway to 100 followers on Twitter as of writing this, but I still don’t get a ton of engagement on my post. In addition, most of the followers I have gotten are those annoying GFX bots and it’s a little bit disheartening. I also want to build up a following on Tumblr and Bluesky as well! 

Make a community Discord server: Once I build up a community, I want to create a Discord server for people to hang out in. However, I want to wait until there is a demand for a Discord server. This goal is lower priority compared to the other goals but I hope that this does end up happening this year!

Final Thoughts

I can’t wait to be able to relax and not have to think about school all the time this week. Hopefully this month I can hit the ground running and actually be able to finish the goals I set out for myself this week. Also I do want to make an announcement regarding streams for the next couple of weeks. I will not be streaming tomorrow or next Saturday. Since I am planning on going back to my parent’s house, I will need to spend tomorrow preparing for the drive there and then the following Saturday is when I’m planning on coming back, so I do not want to pressure myself to get back in time for a stream. My next stream will be on Saturday March 16th at 2 PM EST. However, I will make sure to write a blog post for next week! Anyway, I hope your stay was bright and your journey is filled with light!

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

theres a lot of different ways people have illustrated the greed and evil of billionaires from visual portrayals of how big a billion actually is to comparing their philanthropy and how much money they have to highlighting the sufferings of those theyve exploited, and theyre all great demonstrations in of themselves.

but one i dont see quite as often is comparing the charitable works of every day people to that of billionaires. i think part of it is that a billionaire can donate more money to charity in one click of a finger than i can in my entire life, but i think another part is a combination of not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth while also not wanting to rock the boat.

a great example of that is the fact that you cant criticise mr beast/jimmy donaldson without people pushing it aside with the notion of "hes helping people" or "the guy could cure cancer and youd find something to criticise about it", which are endlessly frustrating and engaging with your criticism in bad faith.

but outside of him, youll see versions of it across the board for any philanthropic rich person. people automatically assume your criticism is coming from a cynical point of view, and often that you dont ever take part in charitable acts yourself.

and it is endlessly frustrating to run into that attitude every damn time like youre a dog running into that same glass door. because there is very valid criticism to be made about it.

because most of the time, these people could use that money to make lasting structural changes. i mean, the UN estimates you could end world hunger with $6billion, but no billionaires attempted to. on a smaller scale, you can build shelters or youth hubs or rehab facilities, or you could invest in ongoing work to help people out of poverty or improve local education or help people get better healthcare. or even just put your money where your mouth is and financially back the people trying to make these structural changes.

but these so-called philanthropists dont because systematic changes arent what they actually want. theyre this rich because of the system.

and their philanthropy is a form of propaganda; they want you to think the system is unchangeable and that your only options for improving your life is working yourself to the bone or for some kindly rich person to take pity on you and just hand you the money you need. the system is fucked, but the rich are good people who just want to help. this isnt some hot take, ro ramdin made a great video about mr beast specifically regarding this sort of thing. müne cat also has a video about it which is basically a 30 minute rant from her stream.

i know why you dont see the comparison of billionaire philanthropy to every day charity that often, and its because you have to preface the entire thing with the explanation that i just had to make, because most people dont want to think further than "give money to charity is good". i think part of that is people not realising everything is political, but thats a discussion for a different post.

originally, i started writing this just to get something out of my head. two days ago, i asked my mom if she still had the trumpet i accidentally stole from school (long short story) because id been thinking about the fact like, i could flog that for £200 and £200s a good bit of money. during the conversation, it came up that one of our neighbours had bought an empty guitar case from a charity shop for a fancy dress party, and all thoughts of flogging it were suddenly gone from my mind.

because it reminded me that i could donate it to a charity shop or find a local musical program aimed towards giving poorer kids a chance to learn how to play an instrument. and like, how could i flog it when i could do just a little bit of good with it.

a similar thing happened with these big marvel pictures i had in my room as a teenager. idk how much money theyd go for but they werent cheap when we bought them. but then my mom found this local charity where you could donate items that theyd then auction off and that money went directly to the local foodbank, and so thats where they went.

and this isnt for me to be like hey how good of a person i am; i do not give a shit about that. its about the fact that this mindset is directly opposed to that of billionaires and to neoliberalism in general.

you cant earn a billion dollars by being a good person, we all know that. but i do think a great illustration of it is to compare those billionaires with the people who run your local food bank or run charity drives or the people who put free period products in public bathrooms or the local deli owner who lets unhoused people eat for free.