#moment of silence for my phone case I said I'd change two years ago and my popsocket that gave up the ghost on Christmas

[chipped-chimera]

I mean it's technically past new years by a day but I'm gonna round out 2023 with the two selfies I actually like (I wish myself a very figure out how to take more good ones 2024 😤)

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [five] // daisy johnson

summary: the longer Daisy spends with you, the more you realise that maybe nine years isn't enough time to get over her.

warning/s: mentions of PTSD.

author's note: this is the final part, but it was a little long so i’ve put it into two posts. hopefully the daisy stans appreciated it 😊

part one | part two | part three | part four | part six | masterlist | wattpad

I woke with a start, immediately feeling my hair sticking to the nape of my neck and the need to shake off my duvet.

The fear of my nightmare still implanted in the pit of my stomach made me reach for my bedside lamp. I half expected someone to grab my hand in the dark, my imagination working overtime to scare the living hell out of me, but nothing happened except for the lamp turning on.

I sat up in bed and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was just a dream, nothing real. And I knew that, logically, since I was in my childhood bedroom instead of a dark torture chamber. Yet I couldn't stop crying and imagining the worst.

It was getting worse – the nightmares, the anxiety, the nausea. Ever since Daisy and my mum had told me to see a therapist, I knew it was getting worse, but I still hadn't done anything about it. Clearly, things had to change.

Barely thinking about, I found myself grabbing my phone and dialling Daisy's number. I hadn't spoken to her since she came over, and it was my fault things had been left on a bad note. That was only last week and I felt like an idiot as I heard the phone ringing.

"Hello?" her groggy voice came through, and I immediately felt bad.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to silence my heavy breathing. "Hey, Daisy. It's, er, it's Y/N. I'm sorry, I– I didn't mean to wake you. I–"

"Y/N?" she asked, voice laced with fatigue and confusion. "Are you okay? What is it? Where are you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you," I said quickly, trying to maintain my shakiness. I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped an arm around them tightly. "I'm at home. I just–" I flinched, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry, did I wake you? My parents gave me your number and I– I didn't know what else to do–"

"You don't need to apologise," she cut me off, wakening up a little by the sounds of it. "I'm glad you called. What's wrong?"

I smiled dryly, wiping away at my tears. "I, er, you were right about me. I should have–" I breathed out deeply. "I need to talk to someone about... yeah. But right now I... I can't go back to sleep."

"Do you want me to come over? I'm not far and–"

"No, no!" I said quickly, slightly embarrassed. "You don't need to– it's the middle of the night. I just– I don't know what I was expecting. I just didn't want to be alone and I didn't wanna wake my parents and worry them."

"Of course," she said reassuringly. "It's okay. I won't come, but I can stay on the phone with you if you'd like? We can talk. Or we can just stay silent. Anything you want."

I sniffled and put my head between my legs, feeling my shoulders relax a little. The last thing I wanted was to be a bother to her.

"Thanks," I muttered, and I wasn't even sure if she heard it. "I'm sorry for how I acted last week... with this."

"We don't need to talk about it," she said softly, her voice raspy as she'd just woken up. "I just want you to be okay."

I closed my eyes, breathing out quietly. I wasn't sure what to say, but the sound of her voice was instantly reassuring.

It was quiet between us, for at least another minute or so, and all I could hear was her breathing on the other side. As much as I appreciated the company, I knew it was unfair of me to keep her on the phone.

Swallowing hard, I said, "Daisy?"

"Yeah? Are you okay?"

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, knowing I wasn't. "I don't think–" I sighed awkwardly. "I won't be falling asleep any time soon and I– er, you should go. I don't want to keep you on here for no reason."

"It's not for no reason," she reassured. "I'll stay on until you fall asleep, Y/N. You'll get tired eventually."

"But if I don't–"

"I'll stay on."

I nodded, despite her being unable to see me. "Thank you..."

It went quiet again, and I felt my heart rate returning to its normal pace as I distracted myself with the sound of Daisy's breathing. It wasn't hard to tire myself to the sound, as I was already exhausted, just scared. But when I closed my eyes and let her breathing comfort me, it almost felt like she was right next to me, and my fear slowly faded away.

—

When I woke up the next morning, I was drooling on my phone screen as the sun streamed through my curtains. When I wiped my mouth, a yawn escaped my lips and I moved my phone from my pillow, confused to why it was there. But then I remembered the early hours of that morning and felt my face flush with embarrassment. I checked the screen, seeing the call wasn't still on, but there was a text from Daisy.

Daisy: hey, Y/N, I hope you feel better in the morning. I figured you wouldn't want to wake up to me on the phone, so I hung up. Please don't be angry, but I'm on my way over to see you. I just want to make sure you're okay.

That message was sent fifteen minutes ago, so I wouldn't put it past Daisy to already be outside. It was embarrassing, don't get me wrong, but I appreciated that she cared enough to check on me, even after I'd treated her disrespectfully.

I'd just managed to brush my teeth when Daisy arrived. My mum called me downstairs, claiming it was for me, and I tried not to fidget in my pyjamas as I descended the stairs and saw Daisy waiting by the front door. When she saw me, a relieved smile was on her lips.

"Hey," she began quietly, hesitant to say more in case I was mad.

I exhaled slowly, shoulders relaxing at the sight of her. She'd helped me more than she'd known, and with that thought in my mind, I moved forward and hugged her gratefully.

"Thank you," I whispered into her shoulder, closing my eyes as my arms laced around her neck.

She returned the hug and I sensed her surprise.

"Anytime, Y/N," she replied with a squeeze. "I just want you to be okay."

I nodded, lingering for a moment longer than I probably should have, before pulling away. She searched my eyes with a hint of concern and I subconsciously grabbed her hand and kept ahold of it.

"I'm gonna book an appointment with a therapist," I told her, the thought terrifying me in itself, but I knew it was the right thing to do. "And I wanted to ask if you... would you..." I swallowed hard, suddenly unable to meet her eyes. "Will you please come with me?"

"Of course I will," she promised, squeezing my hand and earning my attention. "I'll be with you whenever you want." She blinked, clearing her throat with realisation. "I mean, for the appointments, obviously."

Thankfully, her messy words brought a smile to my face and reassured me about the whole therapy thing.

"Thank you," I said, finding it cute how she was the one to avoid my eyes now. "Since you're here, you may as well stay for breakfast. If you're not busy, that is."

"Breakfast. Sure. I'd love to."

I didn't let go of her hand as I tugged her towards the kitchen to join me.

—

Having Daisy back in my life was probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

Not only had she literally saved my life as Quake, but she was also saving my life every day after. Whether it was accompanying me to my therapist appointments or hospital appointments, or hanging out with me way more than she needed to, she was more present in my life. I didn't ask her to – it only began when I'd asked her to come to my first therapist appointment – but she'd chosen to. And I didn't want to question it because I'd missed her more than I cared to admit.

My parents took her in as family like no time had passed and I was accepting her back into my life, too, but I didn't want to get too attached. She had a job to do at the end of the day, and knowing Daisy, she wouldn't stay for too long. I guess, in the back of my head, there was still that expectation of her picking up and leaving, just like she used to. Which was silly, since that was years ago, but still...

Despite her presence in my life again, we'd been avoiding talking about what we'd missed in each other's lives. The specifics anyway. I knew she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and found her family, and she knew I became an investigative journalist and did many news packages on different topics, but I didn't know anything more and neither did she. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or if we just avoided it without thinking, but I knew we had to face the music soon.

We were getting coffee after she picked me up from one of my therapy sessions when I brought it up.

"So, my therapist has been helping me with some stuff," I began, staring at my coffee as we walked back to my house. "Stuff outside of my PTSD, that is."

"Oh?" Daisy asked, and I could see her looking at me in the corner of my eyes. "Like what?" 

I took a sip of my coffee, trying not to feel embarrassed as I answered, "Well, we obviously talk about my life. And what happens in it. Who I'm with..."

"Yeah..." Daisy was grinning now.

I rolled my eyes, wishing my face wasn't as warm as it felt. "She noticed you've been dropping me off and picking me up and... you may have come up in conversation."

"Ah, so you talk about me," she said slowly, trying very hard not to laugh. "Did you tell her how amazing I am? Or how beautiful, charming and funny I am?"

I sighed, finally lifting my eyes to look at her. Brown eyes twinkled with amusement as she gave me her usual teasing smile, making me shove her in the shoulder gently. Laughter spilled from her lips and I hated the butterflies in my stomach at the sound.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, falling into step with me again. "You were saying. Go on."

Looking back ahead as we walked, I said, "Yes, well, we talked about you. And then she recommended that I try to catch up with you more. You know? Because we both talk so much about the good old days and even now, but not the in between. Not the parts that we weren't there for."

I looked back to Daisy when I finished, and she thankfully lost her amusement as she nodded in agreement. I half expected her to take the piss, but she was supportive as she glanced at me.

"I like the sound of that," she said, easing the nerves in my stomach. "So. What do you want to know?"

I cleared my throat, taking another sip of my drink and thinking of where to start. "Okay, erm... why don't we start with your S.H.I.E.L.D. friends? They're your family and I would love to get to know them better. What are they like?"

She nodded thoughtfully, sipping her coffee. "S.H.I.E.L.D., okay. Well, you met Jemma. She's basically my sister. Her and Fitz – I think I mentioned him before?" I nodded, recalling her throwing in the name in one of her stories. "They're together and they've been with me since I was recruited a few years ago. We've been through a lot together, but they've got my backs and I've got theirs."

I smiled at the carefree expression on her face. Just talking about them put her at ease and I felt a little better knowing that her time after high school wasn't completely terrible like I imagined.

"Then there's Coulson, of course," she continued, glancing at me every now and then to see if I was listening. "He's basically our dad. He's the reason I'm even with S.H.I.E.L.D. and he's always looking out for me, even when I'm doing stupid stuff."

"So, regularly then."

She nudged me in the arm at my comment, making me chuckle.

"He was how I learnt about my family," she explained. "There for me when I found them. When I got my powers. When I lost my family... he's been there through it all. I'd do anything for him."

I watched her carefully. "He sounds important to you."

Her lips curved into a small smile as brown eyes met mine. "He is."

She continued to tell me about the rest of her team and what everything was like at work, and the whole time she did, she was smiling.

"I'd love for you to meet them all," she finished, and I was surprised at the hint of nervousness in her voice. I didn't think she ever got nervous. "I mean, you've met Jemma, but the others– you should meet them, too. If you want to, that is."

"I'd like that," I said instantly, appreciating the way her eyes lit up and she tried very hard to hide her smile.

She cleared her throat, distracting from the pink spreading on her face, before asking, "So, you basically know about everything interesting that's happened to me these past nine or so years. What about you? Anything life-changing occur for you?" I opened my mouth to answer, and she added, "Apart from travelling around the world and being an investigative journalist?"

I feigned offence. "I hardly think that's fair. That's like me asking you not to talk about working for S.H.I.E.L.D. or being Quake."

Rolling her eyes playfully, she said, "Go on. Tell me something different."

I looked away from her in thought, thinking back to the past nine years. "I guess... oh, I know. I was almost married."

Her jaw dropped. "You were what?"

A laugh escaped my lips at her intrigued expression. She shook her head with disbelief.

"I have to know more," she insisted, before raising her brows. "You? Almost married?"

"It does sound strange," I agreed with amusement, before recalling the event. "It was about two years ago. I was with this guy who worked at the same paper I did. We'd been together for about a year and–"

"–and you realised he had a second family in the Bahamas?" she finished with a roguish grin.

"Very funny." I narrowed my eyes jokingly. "But no. I just realised I didn't love him. Well, I wasn't in love with him."

"Ouch."

"Ouch indeed." I paused, remembering the poor guy's face when I broke the news to him. "It was a month into the engagement when I told him the truth. He was very understanding, but–"

"–but you broke his poor little heart," she concluded, before wrapping an arm around my shoulder and tugging me closer. "Dear Y/N. The heartbreaker."

"Fuck off."

She laughed when she saw me attempting to fight a smile from my lips. Though eventually, one appeared anyway. Daisy always had the ability to bring out the best in me like that – I'd missed it.

"How about you anyway?" I asked, hoping for an opportunity to tease her in return. "Any boyfriends or girlfriends I should know about? Crazy exes, maybe?"

She snorted, swallowing her coffee before giving me a knowing look. "You're gonna need to brace yourself for this one. I doubt you'll believe me when it comes to this."

I rose an eyebrow with curiosity. "Damn, you've got me hooked, Johnson. Proceed."

And of course, that was the first and last time I heard about Agent Grant Ward. An interestingly dark tale of a dickhead of a man whose existence I was glad was no more.

"...so, do I win?" Daisy asked once she finished talking about him.

"Win what?"

She stared like it was obvious. "The best ex story, duh!"

"Wow." I snickered, shaking my head. "I guess you do."

Fist-pumping like an idiot, she said, "Knew it. Nothing ever beats homicidal psychopath almost-boyfriend."

"You need help."

"No, no I don't. I have you."

"Uh-huh."

"Love you, too." 

—

Three months passed since returning from Myanmar and I was finally in a place where I could return to work. Even though I'd been putting together my research and interviews into a coherent news story at home, I hadn't physically been back to the newsroom in about a year.

My therapist had been helping me to treat my PTSD, my physical therapy was helping me get back function in my shoulder and arm, and the injury itself was almost healed, though I still had to wear a cast. Everything was actually beginning to look up.

I'd even sent off the complete news series about what I'd discovered in Myanmar to my editor which got published just before I returned to work. So, of course, as soon as I got there, that was the first thing everybody congratulated me on.

"Views have been going through the roof," Taylor, my colleague and closest friend at work, said as soon as he spotted me walking to my desk. "Your story is all anybody has been talking about!"

"Good to see you, too," I joked, an attempt to disguise my embarrassment at all the attention. "It's only been a year since we last saw each other."

He gave me a grin. "You know I missed you, Y/L/N, get over here."

I rolled my eyes playfully but accepted his hug, being careful of my shoulder. He squeezed me gently before letting go and perching himself on the edge of my desk as I took a seat. It felt strange to be back, but a good strange.

"I still can't believe you're actually here in the flesh," he said after a moment, eyeing me suspiciously. "I've been so used to quick calls and texts where I try to convince you not to do stupid stuff."

Chuckling, I shot him an appreciative smile. "You know I'm grateful for that. Even if I didn't listen."

"You not listening helped you get the best story though," he countered. "I bet you didn't expect S.H.I.E.L.D. to make the bust in the end though."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Definitely not. But I owe them a lot. They saved my life."

His expression softened. "That's another thing... thanks for not dying on me."

"You're welcome," I returned, though appreciated what he meant. "Now. Catch me up on everything I missed. Gossip an' all."

That was enough for him to pull up a seat and remind me of everything I'd missed whilst being away. We'd spoke many times whilst I was gone, but nothing quite beat a good bitching session in person.

Eventually though, our editor ended up interrupting and asked to see me in her office. I wasn't worried in the slightest, but there was still that tiny part of me that imagined the worst.

"You can stop holding your breath, y'know," Karla told me when I stopped before her desk. She seemed amused as she added, "I wanted to congratulate you on the human trafficking story."

Relaxing my shoulders, I raised my brows. "Oh. I– thank you. I'm glad you liked it."

"You put a lot on the line to get the results you did, but it shows," she continued proudly. "You've made an excellent name for yourself and done your fellow journalists proud."

"I didn't do it for that," I said politely, "but thank you. I just wanted to help those people in Myanmar the best I could."

She smiled. "And you did."

"Well, S.H.I.E.L.D. did."

"But you shared the truth, didn't you?" she reminded me. "Don't belittle this achievement."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet and watched as she took a seat at her desk chair.

"I heard that it was Quake who saved you back there," she said curiously. "You know, we've never actually gotten an interview with her. Nobody has."

Oh, so that's what she actually wanted.

"I thought, well, since you know her, you could get us an exclusive?" she asked.

I chewed on my lip. "Erm..."

"You don't have to," she added, noticing my reluctance. "But it could be good for everyone. The city can get to know its hero, you can get a great interview under your belt. And our paper gets all the views. What d'you say?"

I was beginning to regret putting that one quote from Daisy in my article now... I should have known Karla would want more. That was the thing with editors – you give them one taste and they want to eat the whole thing.

"I'll ask," I decided, which she seemed to love. "No harm in asking, but I can't promise anything."

Karla leaned back in her seat, nodding. "Very true. Thank you for understanding. I'll let you settle back into work now. Remember to take it easy, yeah? Don't want to lose my best journalist from overworking herself."

I smiled awkwardly as she laughed, before nodding in response and leaving her office.

It wasn't that I didn't want to interview Daisy, but I didn't want to ruin what we had by asking for a favour. Everything between us was going well, even if it was probably temporary and she'd have to leave soon. I assumed that anyway. And on top of that, I was certain I was falling in love with her again, just like I had nine years ago.

Could you blame me? It was impossible to just remain friends with her when she went through all this extra effort to make sure I was okay. Her kind, considerate, supportive self was always on my mind whether I liked it or not. A girl could dream, right?

After my first day back, Daisy picked me up outside. She insisted when she rang me at lunchtime to make sure I was okay, wanting to know everything about how my first day went. I couldn't find it in myself to say no, so I eventually found her sat on a chair in the lobby when I came downstairs after work.

[starlit-serenade]

Along the Red Thread | Chapter 5

🧣 Summary: It is said that a red thread connects people who are soulmates and destined to be lovers, regardless of place and circumstances. What makes this difficult is that you stopped believing in love a long time ago. OR. You go to Korea to visit your father after several years. There, a mysterious red thread that seemingly only you can see shows up when you least expect it, and you meet a childhood friend you’d never thought you would see again.

🧣 Chapter 5: 2,552 words

🧣 Pairing: Reader x Kim Geonhak (Leedo) / Characters: GenderNeutral!Reader; Kim Geonhak (Leedo); Kim Youngjo (Ravn); Lee Seoho (Seoho); Lee Keonhee (Keonhee); Yeo Hwanwoong (Hwanwoong); Son Dongju/Xion; a couple of OCs;

🧣 Rated: T / Warnings: Mentions of divorce (Y/N’s parents); Mentions of abuse (physical); Instances of abuse (non-physical); Mentions of child abuse; Swearing / Genre: Angst; Fluff; Soulmate!AU (Red Thread of Fate); ChildhoodBestFriends!AU; Happy Ending;

《 Boy Group Masterlist // ONEUS Masterlist // Series Masterlist 》

It's been about a week and a half since Geonhak first joined you to take Sunho to school. Since then, Geonhak has been accompanying you both almost every school day, waking up early to meet you outside of the apartment and ride the bus with you and Sunho. Sunho loves it. He tells Geonhak about the games he plays, the books he's read, the stuff he's learning in class. 

Some days, after dropping off Sunho with you, Geonhak will head to his dorm or to his practice. But on those days where you didn't want to return to your father's apartment, Geonhak would take you wherever you wanted to go, for as long as you wanted to be out. Whether it was just for some drinks, or to hang out at his dorm with him and his members. Seoho has, indeed, told you many embarrassing stories about Geonhak. Which provoked Geonhak to chase him around. Sometimes, you even get to watch them practice at their studio.

You and Sunho sit next to each other at the dinner table. Your father sits across from you, and Sooyeon sits across from Sunho. All of your plates are mostly empty from a filling dinner made by Sooyeon.

"Today, we practiced multiplication," Sunho says to you. "Areum helped me with it. She's better at it than me."

"Really?" you ask, grinning. "You can ask me if you need help. I know a bit about multiplication."

Sunho taps his feet excitedly. "Does Mr. Kim know multiplication?"

You pretend to think about it. "Hm. He should. Do you want him to help you practice?" Sunho nods, and you grin. "If you ask me, it seems like you like Mr. Kim more than you like me," you say, tickling him. He giggles.

"No! You're the one who reads to me every night."

"Who's Mr. Kim?" your father asks, interrupting. You look at him, and he asks again. "Who's Mr. Kim?"

"Oh, uh . . ."

You hesitate. You don't know why you don't want to tell him. Maybe it's because you want to separate your life at home from your time with Geonhak. Maybe it's because after all of this time you've spent with Geonhak and his group members, they've become almost a second family, your home, a safe place. And when you're with them, your father and Sooyeon vanish. Just for a moment. And you want to keep that safe. You don't want your father asking Geonhak to join a family dinner, and make you face the reality that you only really have one family.

"No one," you say. "Just a friend."

Your father tilts his head curiously. He looks at Sooyeon. "Clean the dishes, won't you?" he asks her. Sooyeon nods, standing up, and takes all of the dishes from the table. You hear the sound of the running water of the sink, as your father leans forward over the table.

Besides. You're an adult, and haven't seen your father properly in years. It's not like you owe him an explanation for anything. 

"He's just a friend," you say.

"And how did you meet this friend here? You've only been here for a month and a half."

You shake your head. You don't have the energy to explain it. And you don't need to explain it to him.

"I need some space." You get up from the table and head for your room, and you can hear the sound of your father's chair being pushed backward as he stands up to follow you.

"Y/N, you're supposed to be able to tell me everything. I'm your father."

If you weren't so busy trying to get some distance between you and your father, you'd roll your eyes. Ideally, you'd be able to tell your father everything and everything. But you haven't spent real quality time with him since the start of high school. And he isn't exactly close to you fatherly-wise.

You push open your door and try to slam it shut behind you. But just before the door closes, the door swings back twice as hard, the handle hitting you right in the hip and the edge of the door itself slamming into your lower arm and knocking you back, and you wince in pain, holding onto your arm.

"Fuck," you mumble.

That's gonna bruise.

You step back and place your hand on the bed to maintain balance. You glare at your father. He's staring at you in a way that makes you feel so small. You don't speak a word, as his eyes fall onto your arm. His expression changes.

"Ah, shit. Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"Just go," you say. You move to sit on your bed before lying down, not looking at him. "I'm tired. Please just go."

There's silence. Then, you hear the door close, and you relax, shutting your eyes tight. You just want to fall asleep. Maybe in the morning, you'll wake up and realize that it was you who was being unreasonable, or you overreacting.

Today, you and Geonhak are sitting at a table at the back of the library, after having taken Sunho to school. You two are pouring over a comic book together, snickering at the funny parts between sips of the cold drinks before you.

You two have been sitting there for the past three hours already. Time really flies when you spend time with him. He makes you so happy. Even when you two are walking in silence, not talking, you feel satisfied.

You know that you don't see him as just a friend now. He makes you so happy. Whenever you see him at the beginning of the day, when he shows up to take Sunho to school with you, you feel the butterflies burst in your stomach. You've never felt as safe with anyone as you do with Geonhak.

As your book comes to an end, you place it aside and check your phone. It's about 11:30AM.

"We should get ready to go," you say. "I have some readings to finish before I go back home."

"Maybe you could come over to the dorm?" Geonhak suggests. "I could make you some lunch. And you could do your studies at my dorm. If you want."

You grin. "Sure. I'd like that."

Geonhak sits next to you as you work on your computer on the couch. Two windows are open on your screen, one with your reading and one to take notes on. Your sandwich lays half eaten on a plate on the table in front of you.

"Sunho was talking, yesterday, about wanting you to help him with subtraction," you say to Geonhak.

"Oh, really? I'd love to."

"I know." You glance at Geonhak. While you've been looking at your computer screen, you've been somewhat aware of Geonhak's eyes on you the entire time. You don't know why he's been watching you this whole time,and you don't want to ask.

You reach over your computer for your sandwich, and your arm bumps the top of the screen, right where the door had hit you last night after your father threw it open. It did end up bruising, as did the spot on your hip. But the one on your hip wasn't as bad.

You wince and lift your arm a bit, and instead reach around your computer instead of over. You don't want to worry Geonhak, and pray that he didn't see or notice. But you weren't so lucky.

"Huh?" Geonhak looks at you. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I just . . . I hurt my arm yesterday is all."

Geonhak carefully takes your hand in his, watching you to make sure you're okay with it. When you don't stop him, he slides your sleeve up your arm and inspects the purple bruise carefully.

"You did this to yourself?" he asks, looking up at you with concern, his fingers gently tracing the outline of the bruise. You can't lie to him. You don't want to. And, to be honest, you don't think your brain or mouth will let you.

"Well . . . no, not exactly," you say, shaking your head.

"Who did this?"

You hesitate.

You don't want Geonhak to think you're friends with him just because you still need help coping with your family problems. And you definitely don't want to be a burden.

Your mouth doesn't let you lie.

"My dad hit me with the door yesterday," you admit.

Geonhak looks furious. "He did what? Y/N, I thought--"

"I don't think he meant to do it," you blurt out. "I mean--I don't think he meant to hurt me. He was just mad."

"That's the case every time," Geonhak says, staring into your eyes. "It's always that 'he was just mad.' But that's not an excuse for him to hurt you."

You stare back at Geonhak, and nod. You know he's right. That your father is hurting you, and at this point, it doesn't matter if he means to or not.

"You're right."

After a second, he takes your hands in his reassuringly, and looks you right in the eyes. "Hey. Y/Nie. Do you want to stay here tonight? I don't want you going back there, if you aren't going to be safe."

You look up at him. You almost want to say yes. But you also don't want to. On one hand, you want to spend more time with him. He makes you happy. You trust Geonhak more than anyone else.

But on the other hand, you don't trust him completely. Or anyone. You've given up on that. When the person you were supposed to trust most, your own parent, broke your trust, how can you trust anyone else like that?

You smile, pulling your hands away from him, and you shake your head.

"It's alright," you say. "Thank you for the offer, Hak, really. But like I said earlier, I'd like to give him one more chance. And I don't want to be a bother to you or your members, so if something happens, I'll just get a hotel room someplace," you say.

He tilts his head curiously and frowns. "You won't be a bother, Y/N. The members love you, trust me. Seoho definitely loves telling you about my embarrassing moments," he says grinning. 

You smile,  but shake your head. "Thank you, Geonhak. But really, I think I'll stay at a hotel if something happens."

Geonhak sighs, then nods,  pulling his hand away from yours, and you feel yourself deflate a bit. "I'm always here if you need me, okay Y/Nie?"

"Of course."

You two continue to hang out a bit longer, until it's time for you to pick up Sunho from his school and for Geonhak to head to his work. You wish him a good day of practice, and leave to walk to Sunho's school on your own.

You have no idea where your mind is as you walk. It seems to be wandering everywhere, so much that you're barely aware of where you're going. You're on autopilot as you walk to Sunho's school. It's a wonder you don't accidentally walk into a lamp post

You know that you like Geonhak. You know that you have romantic feelings for him, however small. But right now, the last thing you want to do is act on them.

Growing up as a small kid, you had looked up to your parents. At first, you'd thought they were the best couple ever--seeing that parents are supposed to be their kids' role model.

But naturally, as your parents' marriage fell apart, so did your idea of love. How could you trust anyone with your heart when one of the people you were supposed to trust the most--your own father--already had broken your trust? You don't know if you're able to trust anyone like that. At least, for now. For you, you're happier just being friends with someone who you want to be more with.

But you also don't want to spend so much time close to Geonhak that you fall deeper in your feelings. Spending another night with him will make you want to spend another, and another. And you're too worried that that'll lead to you two being more than friends. Which you're not ready for.

You look up and realize you're at your destination. The gates leading to the school are there before you, standing a little taller than you are.

You stand, waiting outside of the gates in front of Sunho's school, like a parent waiting for their kid. You're a couple minutes early, so you're waiting, listening to your music while staring in the direction of the school while you think about how you like Geonhak but don't want to like Geonhak.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a small ring! from your phone. You look down, frowning, and you see that you just received a text from Geonhak. You click the message to see what he said.

Geonhak 🐥: The members were asking about you. They say hi and they hope you're doing well!

Above the text is a selfie Geonhak took. You can see Youngjo, Seoho and Dongju beside him, as well as Keonhee and Hwanwoong reflected in the mirror behind him. They're all smiling brightly, waving, making peace signs or hearts and silly faces. You can't help but smile. He and his members are all so sweet, and you can't help but smile dumbly as you type a text back.

You: Aww! Tell them thank you for me! 💕

You: And thank you for spending time with me today.

Just after you send the second text, you can hear the bell ring in the distance, signaling the end of Sunho's school day. A couple minutes pass as some students start exiting. They run to their waiting older parents or siblings. As you continue looking over the kids, you spot him.

Sunho is talking to two friends next to him. One little girl, who you recognize as his best friend Areum, and another kid who you don't know the name of. Sunho sees you, waves goodbye to his friend, and runs over to you.

"Hi Y/Nie!" he says, running over to grab your hand. "I can't wait to tell you about what I learned today! And Mr. Kim!"

You smile as you lead him to the bus stop. "I can't wait to hear it. And I'm sure Mr. Kim will be happy to hear it tomorrow before school, too!"

"Yeah!" He grins widely. "Can I show you at home?"

You grin. "Of course. Sunho," you say. You look up at the sky. The sun is bearing down on you. It's hot as hell today. You look down at Sunho. "How about we go and get you some ice cream. Does that sound good?"

"Yes please!"

You smile, leading the way toward the ice cream place you've gone once with Geonhak and Sunho.

You don't know what it is, but you find so much joy in pampering and treating Sunho. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you didn't get enough affection from your father, and you've seen that your father doesn't give Sunho any attention either. You want to give Sunho everything you lacked as a child.

You smile softly down at Sunho.