#mo nmage tdp drabbles

[mo-nmage]

it's written in callum's pov btw

The smile didn't leave her face and I felt the way I started to lose all composure, this was extremely painful and embarrassing. Embarrassing because by this point I was just staring at her dumbly; painful because the butterflies in my stomach won't stop fluttering around, they wouldn't stop moving and I was honestly not a huge fan of this sensation, as time went by I got used to it obviously. It made me look as if I were some teenage boy with a huge crush that suddenly loses all his senses when he sees the girl he likes! I'm a very mature… teenager? young adult? who can stay very calm around the girl he loves. That has a nice ring to it actually. Not the point though.

This was embarrassing because, not that I'm keeping count, I've said the words ‘I love you’ to her around 2-3 times in the past, held her hand many times and kissed her! Some things happened two years ago, but still happened! There's absolutely no reason for me to be such a–

“Dummy, hey” she said between laughs as she waved her hand in front of my face. Well she said it better than I could, is she in my mind? Well, she is but not exactly in the way I'm talking about.

“Sorry! Sorry I was just… thinking.”

“Thinking? Now that's new.” she raised an eyebrow quirkily.

“You're hilarious. But I was just lost in my train of thoughts I guess.”

“Oh, care to share? Unless it's something personal and embarrassing.” she backed a little to look at me better in the eyes.

Well it's quite embarrassing to me.

“Nothing much, I was just thinking about… stuff.”

“And is said stuff that important to have you blanking out mid dance in your aunt's wedding?”

Honestly? It is.

“I– Yeah it's… Ah, whatever– I love you.” I blurted out.

To be fair? It came out of nowhere. Alright, fine, I was thinking about it, I just didn't think I would say it out loud right there.

I noticed the way her eyes widened and her cheeks turned into a mixture of pink and slightly purple tones– has she always blushed like this?– before she reached to put one of her hands on my cheek, an action she grew to do a lot as time went by. Her hands were very soft.

“I was doing some thinking too.” she said.

“Oh yeah? About what?” I replied, feeling like playing along with her was the best way to go here. She had that playful glint in her eye and I couldn't even dare to not humor her with this.

“How I love you too, and very much.” she answered with a smile.

Despite, in a way, expecting her to say something in the lines of that, now it was my turn to blush. I've never been someone who blushes that easily– okay fine, scratch that, I do blush easily, but it's different when it's with her.

I got so used to being around Rayla that I rarely blushed when we held hands, kissed or even looked at each other. The first few days where I felt like a crush was slowly growing, I couldn't even look at her properly, and it feels like I'm back to square one because I'm smiling and blushing like an idiot to her saying that she loves me. And I already know she does! Why am I getting so nervous and awkward and blushy–

“Lost in your thoughts about stuff again?” she teased.

Aside from nervous, awkward and blushy, apparently I get distracted easily and don't hide it very well. Somehow it feels like she knows exactly the reason to this mess I currently am.

“Honestly? A little. I was mostly thinking about how beautiful you look tonight.” I quipped, immediately causing her to blush deeply. Rayla 1 – Callum 1, now we're tied in the ‘Making the other blush’ match.

“You can't just– you can't say that out of nowhere!”

“How is this possibly worse and more surprising than me saying ‘I love you’ out of nowhere?” I asked with a small laugh, she stared at me with an expression that I couldn't exactly describe– it was sort of a mix between ‘You idiot’, affectively of course, and ‘I love you’. But still, she couldn't be serious… How did this shock her more than me saying I loved her?

“The difference is I already knew you loved me, you dummy.” Oh.

“Well, I'll have to make sure you know both things then, that I love you and that I will always think you're beautiful.”

She blushed even harder, granting me another point in the match. I'm not usually competitive, but making the other blush was a competition where I'd like to always win. It's not that I love winning– i do– it's simply that seeing her try to find the proper words to get back at me after throwing something like that at her is cute.

doing some creative writing practice after getting insanely attached to the way the pjo books are narrated (i'm halfway through lightning thief so no spoilers pls) and i decided to write a small rayllum drabble in callum's perspective (that will most likely get turned into a oneshot because i'm now invested) in that writing style and my goodness this is so fun and also kinda hilarious

[mo-nmage]

Their feet felt –and sounded– heavy as they hit the carpet floor of the hallway, small rustling sounds of the fabric echoed through the hallway and so did their small shushes and whispered scoldings.

“Could you be any louder Callum?” Rayla whispered with an accusatory tone in her voice, playfulness hidden in it too.

He stopped in front of her, making her stop in her tracks, “Oh I'm sorry, but should I remind you of who woke me up at 2am because she craved food and didn't know her way to the kitchen?”

wrote a small rayllum oneshot <3 read it if you'd like in ao3!!

[mo-nmage]

Small unnamed rayllum drabble

before reading:

– canon compliant for s5's episode “the great bookery”

– currently unfinished and this isn't everything i've written so far, only the part i consider to be slightly more polished (and that i kinda like heh)

– context before reading: zubeia and the others didn't arrive at the bookery when they did in the episode, so rayla, callum and amaya were left to fight banthers for some time. rayllum lost amaya and had to hide behind a broken bookshelf because they were too exhausted to continue fighting banthers

– hopefully you enjoy it!! it's not the final product so i'm still going to fix some stuff here and there lol but i kinda wanted to post it now to see if i should spend some time polishing it more

Both sat tensely in their spot while holding their breath and didn't even dare to move an inch. A sigh of relief escaped both of their lips a few minutes later when they noticed they were finally alone and free from danger, this made them both lower their bodies to properly sit down on the floor.

The pair sat with their shoulders brushing every so often while they worked on recovering their composure and calming down their extremely fast paced hearts because of both the adrenaline and pure fear they experienced a few moments ago.

Stella climbed down from Rayla's shoulder and sat on the floor between them. She was equally as scared as her owner so she didn't dare to chitter or make a small sound.

After everything seemed to calm down Callum whispered “I’m so glad I could find you and a hiding spot, fighting off those banthers was getting exhausting” he looked at her with relief in his eyes but frowned when he saw her closed eyes and pursed lips as if to try and stop any possible sobs that could come out of her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her but was taken aback by her looking up to the ceiling with eyes that were rapidly filling themselves with tears. Callum could tell that she was doing everything in her power to calm herself down or to not show emotions in a moment like the one they were currently in. He felt as if he had just been sent back to 2 years before when he comforted her in the midnight desert.

“Hey…” he started “It’s okay if you want to let it out, we’re not exactly in the most ideal situation so it’s fine if you feel overwhelmed by things right now.”. He sat straighter to try and make eye contact with her but this was in vain since she had her eyesight glued to the ceiling.

She shuddered and hugged herself before biting her lip anxiously. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and switched her attention to the mage sitting next to her that had the sweetest look of concern in his eyes.

“I’m so… so sorry for everything” she began “We’re in this situation because of me and now you’re dragged into this when it could've been avoided from the start and now I- I can't do what I swore to do 2 years ago.” she hugged herself tighter “I said I would protect you and do everything in my power to ensure your safety but now we’re here, hiding behind a fallen bookshelf while corrupted banthers are looking for us and there's nothing we can do…” she wiped tears that left her eyes and tried her best to continue talking while holding in the sobs that tried to escape her lips.

She felt weak, small and useless. Rayla had left for 2 years to put an end to Viren after having many nightmares where everyone she loved died because of his hands. Seeing them be hurt in her dreams was something, but to see Callum and Amaya be in direct danger in front of her eyes? She couldn't feel worse.

It was as if she were transported to years ago where she blamed herself for her ghosting, everything her parents did and Ethari losing Runaan. The more she thought about it, the more the tears continued to fall down her cheeks. She knew she was putting more blame on herself than she should and that everything happening to them wasn't her fault, but what even is the difference if she's partly involved in it?

Callum was in danger, because of her. She knew he's someone who keeps his promises until his last breath, but it happened because of something related to her. “I would do anything for you” he had said to her when she brought up the coins. Should she be relieved or terrified to the extent he's willing to go for her? Putting his life in danger, because of her?

“We don't know where Amaya is and we don't know if we’ll even make it out of here and-” she was cut off by Callum reaching out to her and enveloping her in a hug, she sat stunned for a few seconds before wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

This small action made him hold her tightly, causing her to cry into his shoulder as he rubbed circles in her back. She felt so small in his arms as he hugged her, this realization made him hug her even tighter, if that was even possible.

“I don't know why you're blaming yourself for this, if anything we're like this because of me and being extremely obsessive with research, also dropping some books earlier” he let out a small laugh and pulled back to look at her straight in the eyes, his hands moved to rest on her shoulders. Rayla let her arms fall back and wiped off some tears that were still falling down her cheeks. He looked at her with a look that she couldn't quite understand and took a small breath before continuing to speak.

Callum knows her, he knows her well. He sometimes notices that he knows her better than himself. This means that he knows that she has always been the type of person to blame herself for things that are out of her control or are caused because of a small action done by her, as much as it breaks him to admit it, she does it very often.

He learned that loving her meant admitting and accepting this part of her. He hates seeing her be like this and it breaks his heart every single time, the midnight desert, the storm spire, the drakewood and now the present.

Did this happen during her 2 years away?

He pushed that thought out of his mind, he wouldn't let it cloud his consciousness now out of all times. Right now he had to focus on getting her out of her spiraling thoughts that were taking over her mind, he knew that if the roles were reversed she'd do the exact same thing for him.

“My aunt Amaya will be fine, she's strong and very stubborn, she wouldn't let some banthers take her down that easily. And I'm safe, you're safe, we are safe, okay? We aren't corrupted, so far at least-” Rayla grimaced slightly and he shook his head “Sorry sorry, bad timing for a joke like that, I know, but we're not corrupted okay? I also think we're both too stubborn to be taken down by some banthers in a library out of all places.”

He moved his right arm to wipe a loose tear from her cheek “We will get out of here alive. It doesn't matter if it's by fighting our way out of here or waiting until the sunrise, we are getting out of here no matter what.”

“How are you so sure of this? No, how can you talk so confidently about something where it seems like all the odds are against us?” Rayla asked. He smiled as he looked down and held her hands “A few days ago someone reminded me that I'm the ‘Destiny is a book you write yourself’ guy, so I figured it applies to this situation as well”

Rayla let out a laugh as she realized he was referring to her own words, which were used in a very different context of a conversation obviously, but was still a touching moment when she realized it meant that he remembered them. “See? There you go, you're smiling again! If you asked me, I'd say this is one of my favorite versions of you”

She felt her smile grow and looked down to their hands, she slowly intertwined her fingers with his and smiled wider when he squeezed hers. “How are you so good at this? This whole ‘managing to ground me before I start saying stupid things’ thing”

“Let’s just say that I learned from the best.” he looked up to meet her eyes. “You've helped ground me before so I'll do the same for you. And… I wouldn't consider myself good at it, I just try my best to make you feel better because I know you well enough. I know that right now you feel this way not because of the banthers around us, but because you think you’ve put us in danger.”

He angled his body in a way that is completely facing her and continued “I’ve had my fair share of moments like these too, how do you think I felt after getting possessed by Aaravos back then? I felt all these different emotions but the one that stood out was fear. I thought- no, I knew that he could hurt those I loved because of decisions I took in the past. My loved ones had nothing to do with my decisions yet they're the ones who will suffer and it might happen through my own hands.”

“But it wouldn't be you, if Aaravos happens to take over your body and hurt someone you love it wouldn't be your fault.” Rayla tried to add, she noticed that he started spacing out and his sight slowly focused on a spot in the wooden bookshelf next to them.

“Yeah, but does it even matter? It was Aaravos' actions but the blood will still be on my hands. The magic, the pain and the suffering will come from me.” he breathed out and closed his eyes “I can't let Aaravos do anything to the people I love, I can't let him do anything to my family.”

He opened his eyes and once again looked at her with a look she couldn't quite explain. It looked so melancholic, filled with longing and also so full of love?

Rayla felt her throat tighten once again “Oh…” she drew her hands back quickly and sighed before continuing “I won't let anything happen to you or Ezran, Soren and everyone else you love, okay? I'll make sure of it.” She reached up to gently place one of her hands on his cheek and slowly rubbed her finger on his cheek.

He reached up and placed his hand on top of hers before speaking “And who makes sure nothing happens to you?”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head as she looked at him with slight confusion. The only thing she could hear was her heartbeat beating in her chest.

“You are also part of my family. 2 years ago when you chose to lose your hand over letting Ezran die was the day I considered you part of my family and you were never not part of it.”

He reached up to place his hand on her cheek this time “I love you, I always have and don't plan on stopping any time soon. If anything does happen, you have to promise me you'll keep yourself safe too. I already felt what it's like to lose you 3 times, and I don't want it to happen again.”

“I-I…” she shakily drew a breath “I love you too” she looked at him with a matching look to the one he has been looking at her with. Both looked at each other with love and endearment before Rayla broke the contact as she breathed out a sigh. His hand stayed on her cheek and he gently kept rubbing his thumb as if to provide her with comfort.

“And I'm so sorry for leaving those 2 years. Back then I thought it was the right thing to do, and genuinely believed I was doing what had to be done. I thought that leaving without you would keep you safe, but I realized that even though I protected you physically I hurt you from the inside.” she slowly met his eyes once again.

“I know nothing can take back what I did, no words can undo actions I made in the past but… I really want to fix things, I want to fix us. I know things can't be the same way they were before but I want to try if you want to go there too.” she sighed softly before continuing “There's so many things I want to say to you, to apologize, to thank you and most importantly, to make sure you know I'm not leaving you again, not now, not ever. If we get out of here that is.”

Callum smiled softly “These past 2 years were tough to say the least, I won't lie and say I wasn't hurt, because I was and I'm glad you recognize that. I overwhelmed myself with knowledge of magic of all kinds to distract myself from feeling anything.”

His eyes softened as he looked at her “When you came back I felt every emotion I forced myself to ignore, I used anger as a way to shield myself before I could sort all my feelings and looking at it now, it wasn't the best way to go but I'm past that now.”

“Letting you go after Viren felt right in Umber Tor. It was your mission, it was something you wanted to do and set your mind to, so I was nobody to stop you. But the second I saw your blade on the floor… I thought I had lost you forever, and I didn't think I could ever feel as helpless and heartbroken as I did at that moment.”

He breathed in to regain his calm “Knowing there was nothing I could do was unexplainable, I had let you go thinking that I was mad at you. When in reality it was the exact opposite, I think seeing your face in my office was the happiest I've been these past 2 years.”

He leaned in slightly to look at her deep in the eyes. From this distance he could take in every detail on her face, but most importantly, her eyes.

Have they always been this stunning?

“Life isn't always in our favor, and I'm starting to believe that sometimes destiny doesn't want us to be together. But no matter what happens, I will always choose you and us above everything else. Loving you means being willing to go through everything with you. I know we're not ready to jump into being together together, but until we get there? I'll hold your hand through everything.”

He moved his hand from her face to her hand and squeezed it tightly yet gently. It seemed as if all the sounds of the banthers nearby had completely muted out, the only thing that mattered at that moment was them. “I know you won't leave again. I do understand why you did what you did, but it doesn't mean I agree with it, but I understand it. I believe that loving someone means accepting every small bit of them whether you agree with it or not, you having a different perspective on protection doesn't erase everything I feel for you and it never will.”

“I'm willing to do everything for you. And that means accepting every part of you and standing by you through anything.” He sat up and placed a kiss on her forehead.

[mo-nmage]

making myself consume happy romance media instead of angsty books and movies because i keep writing angsty rayllum drabbles and it's about time i let them smile

[mo-nmage]

doing some creative writing practice after getting insanely attached to the way the pjo books are narrated (i'm halfway through lightning thief so no spoilers pls) and i decided to write a small rayllum drabble in callum's perspective (that will most likely get turned into a oneshot because i'm now invested) in that writing style and my goodness this is so fun and also kinda hilarious