#mini succulents for mothers day Sydney

[postcards-to-home]

Sunshine, Positivity & Rainbows

4/14/18

Shit, are they mad at me?

“I just.. didn’t feel like it tonight”

**Sighs*, Okay whatever, but you were the one who got everyone onto the idea

Ya.. I know. Just tired, . again.

“Okay.. well see ya later”

 9pm on a Saturday night and I’ve managed to do it again.I’ve master the skills it takes to round up the miscellaneous people that make up our “Drinking club.”Who doesn’t go out and drink on a Saturday night. That’s would be so un-American of us if we didn’t get tanked for the hell of it. Somehow I’ve manged tot ake a nap, at 7pm on a Saturday and it all went to shit after that. From known reasons  It’s the part of me that hates committing to an idea of which is “going out.” I think I’ve turned into an old lady considering who I used to be last year at this time. Just the thought of going out had me dressed and drinking by 7pm at my desk bumping tunes with my friends. Currently that part of me has dwindled fondly allowing the element of myself that appreciates relaxing to bloom into a full addiction. Fomo, the fear of missing out, is no longer a consideration on my mental pallet of thoughts. Indulging in my thoughts of the past, present and future in a circular manner  has enthralled me. There  has been no other time in my entire existence I have had the ability to chew away at my whole and tear it apart bit by bit in the most selfish way possible. Others thoughts, actions and feelings are no longer in my vision, persuading me in either direction. This is not to say I don’t ask my loved ones for advice or ask their opinion. I’ve just never felt so liberated in seeking my own truths, and understanding my own self worth. I’ve had many in the past say “ Know your worth,” and it’s a saying easy to shrug off. But now I truly understand the value within that whole-heartedly and it’s a beautiful thing.

Referencing the discussion that sprawled this pondering, my friends in deed were disappointed with my decision. It is that point in the semester where people’s feelings are coming out at the seams quite literally. Self control  has worn thin, attitudes have risen and it is not to be taken so personally .Stress and homesickness come out at the oddest times. There are things going on with people, their home lives trickling through the walls they’ve built up and its something they aren’t necessarily prepared to face. The end is near. I was watching Girls Incarcerated on Netflix which is a television show about teenage girls living in  a juvenile detention center in the Midwest. The show was fascinating to watch from an educational standpoint with a lot to say about living. What struck me the most was how the young girls acted before it was their release date. Screaming, throwing fits the whole nine yards of emotions across the spectrum. Wouldn’t they be excited? Well that would have been the obvious answer but for a lot of them home was an unknown, and it is in human nature to fear the unknown. Itook that message and directly related it back to how it is at  school now. Sure we aren’t in prison and things aren’t horrible we are all fairly happy but the end is quickly approaching. There is an ultimate fear of the unknown of how things a re going to be when we return to our lives in the states,. I know I can agree with that. Our lives are essentially on hold here , waiting to resume until we make our ways back one by one. There’s all this stress and anxiety and this build up of excitement, which sometimes translates to anger, or worry or even depression. It’s a hard pill to swallow for some of us as we have to face things we’ve been avoiding. What I hope from admitting this is that we can understand these attributes to some of declines the past few days and weeks and come together to celebrate the present Even just doing small things like taking a hike after class would make all the difference because like We’ve all heard before  “ You only live once so make it count.”

 4/14/18

“ I need an ambulance,” said Alexis as she began to beg and plead for her mother. She was sitting hard on the rocks  that straddled North Steyne beach along the ocean. She was cradling her right foot in her palm near tears, whimpering. We had been bare foot a quarter mile from our hot spot on the sand, with nothing but our bathing suits on and a camera in hand to take pictures. With the wind at a near 20 mph and 87-degree weather it was perfect photo shoot weather. I had a new swimsuit, Alexis had her camera shipped over when her parents came through and it was an all around good time just loving life. That was until she stepped on a barnacle and the whole world came spinning down around her. I won’t continue to embarrass her but after a few hours, assistance from strangers and life guards she finally waddled onto the beach only to immediately down a vodka cruiser. It was well deserved to say the least.Our day simmered down quickly.

The swim shoot was a MAJOR success, in case you were all wondering. Pictures soon to come in the future :)

4/15/18

Quietness has struck the castle grounds. Many on campus students have begun disembarking on journeys across country as finals are quickly approaching. The school bar has been shut down briefly until further notice due to underage drinking and a promiscuous student body. To push potential boredom out of hindsight we rose to the occasion and traveled to the Botanical Gardens in Sydney. Miranda, Alexis and I had a day for ourselves exploring the extensive flower gardens that were not only arrangements of flowers but rather mini museums so to speak. Huddled together by their groupings, there was a large collection of exotic plants, fern collections, Australia’s largest succulent plant wall and much more. Seeing the beauty of full bloomed wax begonias alongside the trifecta of geraniums reminded me so fondly of home. The smells flowers bring arises such calamity from within. Everywhere from the lavender bushels to the 7ft tall sunflowers stalks I felt welcomed and at ease under the sweet golden rays of sydney’s sunshine.

The three of us even pondered the museum Art Gallery of New South Wales, located right along side the gardens. A surprise find that we enjoyed delightfully so. The museum was filled with a mix of old and new from historical European oil paintings to contemporary and modern art. The curiosities that are evoked from such art is awe-inspiring. I thought very much of how Emily and Grace would favor the rainbow colored mirrored windows, the hum of the museum and pondering the bookstore openheartedly. Maybe one day, but for now ill have to keep my bits of inspiration to myself for now, my musings locked away with a forgotten key. Please take a fierce look at my new shoes. I’m not one to brag BUT they do have me feeling like a real life Barbie doll in action.