#mind you. i don't need dudebro validation to ship what i want

[rosemaryreality]

So like, either there are WAY more itafushi shippers than you would think in jjk reddit or that chapter really WAS that gay because

[dimitrscu]

Lmfao not surprised about the (most likely) straight dudes making those salty comments about finlay. Look, if malenia were real or if those dudes existed in the world of ER, i am 1000% sure malenia wouldn't even give them the attention she gave godrick. Plus hey im willing to bet those dudes overlap with those other dudes who complain unconstructively about malenias boss fight. It just feels like they're that kind of gamerbrodudes.

When you’ve been around enough fandoms like I have you kind of get used to this sort of thing but yeah they’re 100% salty straight men there’s no doubt. The thing that’s funny is turning around and saying Malenia’s not/can’t be a lesbian is just flat out untrue because there’s absolutely no reference to her having a love interest of any kind. So for that alone people can headcanon whatever they want. I am really not in the business of trying to gatekeep characters and ‘ship wars’ or whatever don’t interest me in the slightest, but what I do get annoyed with is how these comments always end up being fueled by homophobia. It’s never *insert valid reason why I don’t like ship* and instead it’s just “you fucking gays try to ruin everything” and that’s when it hurts cause it gets personal, you know? I’m already made to feel bad about my sexuality by the people in my everyday life, I really don’t need that shit on here too. I get that it’s the internet and you’re always going to come across these people, but at least there’s the block button on here.

(tw: rape mention below the cut)

So yeah if I’m being honest I’ve seen way too many men talk about her in disgusting ways, either venting because of her boss fight or because of lore (R*dahn fanboys are still nuts go figure). That it kind of puts me off listening to what they have to say about her cause most of the time their comments are filled with violent misogyny. So many clips I see of her fight have titles like “giving the bitch what she deserves” or “putting the bitch in her place”. But hey that’s got nothing to do with her being a woman right? Just people being annoyed at the fight, right? How some folks like to outright deny the exsitence of sexist dudebros in this fandom is beyond me. Have they never been around gaming communities before? Just because they might not see them themselves doesn't mean they don't exsit. It’s not so bad now, but there was a time it was so difficult looking up content for her cause I’d end up seeing rape porn or fics or other nasty things. Imagine getting so angry at a boss fight in a video game that your first thought is rape. If that’s were your mind goes you’ve got a problem. I don’t believe in these types of fetishes at all. No normal person thinks about these things, fictional or not. And saying it’s only fiction and that no one wants to actually do these things irl is just an excuse to justify themselves. There are people out there who do very much get influenced by the things they see online and then act on it in real life. So it’s not just innocent fiction if you ask me.

I’ve gotten way off topic, sorry about that. So basically yeah these types of men are shit and they can die mad for all I care

[catherineflowers29]

Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader. 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion. 

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying!