#mind felt like those moments of pre-sleep where you're drifting off but wake back up

[citrine-elephant]

via having mandatory 10 hr shifts for a few weeks, i took these notes towards the end of those very exhausting nights

can't find the other shit that dead-tired me wrote, but it involved the physical pain i was in. shoulder feeling like it wanted to pull outta socket. car pool tunnel, wrists and hands and fingers. back and legs and achilles.

it works wonders to write the shit down *in the moment* for future use.

[enchantedtomeethyun]

Cruel Summer Part 3-Chan

Warnings: mild smut. Language. ANGST

It was a week later and I hadn't seen Chan all day. He had been busy preparing for an interview with the boys and he wasn't going to be back at the dorms until late because of practice. After that night we had made things official but not completely. He told the boys of course who had a feeling something was going on. But he had not told his manager or the company about it since they are on a dating ban until next year. Seems pretty stupid if you ask me but at least he's mine right?

For the past week I have been living at the dorms with the boys cause my apartment is getting renovated no thanks to my neighbors neglect of their pasta and setting almost all of their kitchen on fire and mine as well. Since there are people there working I can't sleep so Chan offered for me to sleep over at the dorms. Of course me being me thinking I can get in on some one on one time with him since that night we confessed didn't end with an intense session of fucking. Instead he drove us to ihop and we ate pancakes. Yeah pancakes are great but I wanted some dick. Some Chan Dick™️.

We actually haven't touched each other for about a week and half. Yeah he's busy but man my mind can wonder just laying in his bed all day waiting for him to come back. 

The rain began to pour and I fell asleep on the pillowy soft bed. It smelled like him too. Now you're wondering what he smells like. But only I know. It was around 12am when I heard the creaking of the door open and shuffled footsteps approach the bed. His heavy breathing makes me confused. Was he in a hurry to get back? Tossing over to the side where he is I opened my eyes slowly.

"Channie.." I said quietly. He sits down on the bed and cups my face in his hands smiling.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry baby.." he said kissing me on the forehead. He takes off his shirt leaving only his boxers on. Climbing into bed with me he reaches for my torso pulling me close to his. He drapes his arm around my waist and I feel his hot breath on my neck. Everything is calm and cozy but I kind of wanna raise a little hell. I adjust my position stretching my legs then rubbing my butt against his front earning a confusing grunt from the boy behind me.

"Baby are you ok?" He mumbles out half asleep  reaching for my hand and holding it.

"Mmmm yeah I am it's just.." I trail off.

"Hm? What's wrong? Are you cold I can turn off the fan or get you a blanket did you need something?" He continued on worry in his eyes.

"Maybe not something.." I said looking at him hoping he would get my drift.

"Oh uh ok goodnight then heh " he responded sounding nervous. How is this man so dense. What do I have to do take his dick out and suck it?  Maybe if I just flat out say it. I want your dick.

"I want your dick". I said flatly. Chan's eyes opened wide. He began to laugh covering his face.

"Sorry sorry .....sorry". He said between laughs.

"Yah! What's so funny!"  I said sitting up irritated.

"No no! You're just so bold all of a sudden. I was just surprised." He said smiling and catching his breath from laughing.  I climbed over to him sitting on top of him. His arms stretched behind his head relaxed. He had a dazed smile on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that.." I said slowly. He chuckled and remover his hands from behind his head and placed them in my waist.

"This is just the first time we are doing this together ever since we made it official. I'm just nervous. " He says eyes looking away.

"Nervous about what? We did this before.. I've seen your dick before chan?" I said crossing my arms.

"Yeah but this is the first time in this setting. In my home. What if it's different or like ?" He goes on and I cut him off mid sentence with a kiss to the lips.

"I missed those rude interruptions.." he said as he began to feel around my waist pulling me in for a longer kiss. His lips are soft and welcoming. He feels like coming home. In the heat of the moment he takes the time to take off my sweatshirt and shorts leaving me in nothing on top of him. His boxers begin to feel a bit uncomfortable for him as his dick begins to make its self known underneath my lap. Taking my hand I begin the stroke him. He stops me for a second to take off his boxers leaving nothing on him. He then takes me by my waist lining me up with his throbbing dick dripping with pre cum. When I go down on him it takes me a second to get comfortable but once i do I begin to ride him slowly. Chans moans are low in tone but loud in volume. I kept going till I heard laughing coming from the other room making me stop and my eyes shoot to Chans panicked.

"It's just hyunjin and his girlfriend. They watch 90 day fiance every Friday night." Chan explains pleading with his eyes for me to keep going. I nod my head and continue on until I feel it building up. I know he feels it too because there is no way Hyunjin and his girlfriend can't hear him. While riding out my high all I can think of is how their laughing and talking ceased. Snapping me out of that was Chan thrusting into my rapidly trying to cum. When he does I feel it shoot up into and the warmth begins to ooze out as I climb off of him. He kisses my cheek rolling over to hold me. With that i fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and Chan was gone. I was a bit sad since I had always Imagined what it would finally be like wake up by his side in this context. My only one. Instead I feel that feeling that I was all too familiar with. Waving up the next morning in the hotel room to an empty bed and money on the table to tip the maid. I'm sure he needed to go to practice so i decided to get up forgetting about what he did inside me the night before. Touching my upper inner thigh it felt sticky to the touch. Walking over to the corner to grab my clothes I put them on and walk into the hallway to find the bathroom. Walking past Hyunjin's room I hear similar sounds Chan and I were making the night before. The only difference is their "I fucking love you" and "fuck you too ahh". Chan never really talked to me or expressed his feelings during sex. Walking into the bathroom my head was hung over. Removing my clothes and locking the door I took my phone out of my pocket and texted Chan.

Me: hey where did you go? Practice? Cuz hyunjin is here still

Sent

Placing it on the counter I step into the shower and begin to wash away the night before. After I was finished in the shower I wrap myself in a towel and sit on the stool by the counter checking my phone for any response from Chan. Before I could look there's a knocking at the door.

"Hey uhh when are you done cause we need to shower .." Hyunjim says.

"Oh my God don't say it like that. First you sound rude and second you make us sound gross." The girl said laughing.

"Yeah I'm done hold on." I said laughing. I slipped my clothes back on and opened the door. There stood hyunjin and his girlfriend holding towels behind their backs. Weird. The girl was shorter than him by like 8 inches at least but that didn't stop him from hugging her from behind as they waited. Scrolling through tiktoks and laughing in their own world I made my first foot step loud to get their attention. This worked cause the moment the door way was free I heard them yelling about racing to see who could get naked the fastest and the door slamming shut. What an odd couple. I look at my phone looking for Chans reply and there it is.

Chan: we were crazy to think that this would work

Huh.

Me: Chan what do you mean where are you?

Chan: I'm at the spot. Meet me there.

Racing to get there grab my shoes and leave the dorm and take the short walk it was to our spot. The vending machine alley. Once I arrived i ran over to him giving him a hug. He was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands as he colors me blue.

"You make me blue." I said pouting and taking a seat next to him on the pavement. He reaches for my hand and holds it.

"We're we stupid to jump into this?" Chan begins.

"What are you talking about we've been seeing each other for months?" I said questioning him.

"I can't seem to separate what we had previously and what we have now. Last night felt the same and I don't know why but I'm confused..." He said looking at me.

"Con confused? It felt the same cause we've liked each other that's why! That's a good thing..." I said laughing.

"No it's not I should feel protective over you and want to be the only guy for you but it occurred to me that if I saw you with someone else I wouldn't be hurt.." Chan said seriously.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this! Fuck Chan you always over think everything!" I said taking my hand back.

"No listen to me.." he said. 

"I thought we could get away with this. But I look at Hyun and his girlfriend and i think that's not how I see us.." he said choking up.

The nerve of him to cry cause that's all I wanted to do. He's all I wanted but not like this.

"You're all I wanted Chan.." I said as I cried. He squeezed my hand.

"I know..." He said looking down disappointed in himself.

"I care about you. I do but I don't think I can do this. I feel like there's a standard for dating and what if Im not doing it right?" He said still crying. 

" We don't need to do it right. We can do it our way. Don't be scared of me. Don't be scared of us. You know everyone always warns you about times like this. The road feels long and you feel lost. But we can be lost together. We might get away with this.." I said to him reaching for his face shaking. I kissed his cheek with my quivering lips as a tear rolled down his face.

"Religion is in your lips." He said wiping his tears then mine.

"It's a false God but I'll still worship this love." Chan said leaning in to kiss me. 

We aren't perfect people but we might be the perfect people for each other. We just need to try and hold on through the tough times cause through the dark there is always daylight.

[car-karaoke]

Friday Part 2

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me and gave me feedback on the first part of Friday!! Having been my first write, I had no idea if anyone would like it. But you guys have shown me love and I appreciate that more than you know! This second part is a bit slower I think, but I wanted to include it to develop the characters more! I'm planning on writing a part 3 as well when I get the chance 😁

*none of the gifs in here are mine, all credit goes to the owners*

This is still a fairly long chapter (I think?). Not as long as part 1 but still lengthy

Warnings: excess amounts of FLUFF, partial nudity, language, body insecurities 

Alex and Marco's apartment was a very homey and comfortable yet luxurious place-not that you really noticed right now. You and Alex were too busy fighting for dominance over a kiss for you to notice Alex's breathtaking photography up on the walls. In fact, one of them nearly fell just now as Alex pushed you up against the wall

You were both panting, hands trying to memorize every square inch of flesh they could without just stripping naked right there. Thankfully, Jordan and Taylor had already made their way to a bedroom for the night

"Fuck Alex" you groaned, hips pushing against his as you tugged on his hair

"You. Are. So. Beautiful" Alex whispers in between kisses. For a moment, you just look up at him in awe. He is one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, yet here he was calling YOU beautiful. Your mind was a little foggy, the booze definitely not helping. And then that dreaded feeling happened

Your stomach churned, making a loud unpleasant noise. Your throat started to swell up and the all too familiar feeling of pre-throw up hit you. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Alex again

"Where's your bathroom? I just need to pee", you lied

Alex looked at you with concern, noticing how pale you looked. "Down the hall to the right, but I'm coming with you to make sure you're alright"

Immediately, you started to protest when you felt the feeling return. "No, Alex I'm fi-" you covered your mouth and ran to the bathroom, just barely making it into the toilet

Humiliated, you coughed and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe your mouth. When you went to close the door, Alex was already there, kneeling next to you. He softly pushed the hair out of your face as you looked miserably up at him

"No please Alex.. you do not need to see this....I'm so embarrassed, this is disgusting. You can go I'm fine" you protested, as another heave came. Alex just grabbed your hair with one hand, holding it out of the way, while his other hand rubbed up and down your back softly

He sat with you the whole time, despite your constant objections. Rubbing your back, kissing your shoulder, trying to make you laugh when you started feeling better. Eventually, you were finally done puking and slowly got up off the floor. Alex had left to go to the kitchen to grab you some water and tylenol

You looked in the bathroom mirror and winced. You looked like hell. Your makeup was smeared from the watery eyes, compliments of throwing up. Your hair was tangled, and your outfit was half off. You sighed and rubbed your face

"Here love, you need these" Alex said, handing you the glass and the pills. You took them with a smile

"Thank you" you sighed. "I look like a fucking wreck, huh?" You laughed

Alex chuckled. "I wouldn't say a wreck, no. Just in need of some sleep and perhaps some greasy food". He pulled you into a gentle hug, rubbing circles on your back

You sighed again and wrapped your arms around him. "Those both sound good. I was in the mood for something else before, but I kind of ruined that moment" you said sadly

Alex looked down at you and kissed your forehead. "A little bit, yes" he laughed. "But we're both drunk anyways, so as much as I would've loved to continue that, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it. Not like that" he said quietly

"You're such a gentleman" you smiled, squeezing him. "I guess you're right though, it wouldn't have been the best idea"

Alex looked right at you with a sexy smile. "If I ever have the pleasure of making love to you, I want to be able to remember every..single...moment." He whispered against your ear. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you tried to control yourself

Alex pulled away, grabbing your hand and leading you to the kitchen. You plopped down on one of the bar stools as Alex warmed up some pizza in the microwave. You giggled at the way Alex hummed a little song to himself, bopping his head up and down cheerfully

"I dont know how you can be in such a good mood after you just had to sit next to a drunk puking woman in the bathroom for half an hour" you chuckled

The microwave beeped and Alex grabbed two plates for the pizza and headed over by you, handing you a plate with a smile. "Because that drunk puking woman was you" he said simply. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat, because that would mean more time with you" he smiled, booping your nose

You blushed deeply, shaking your head in amazement. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"Nah, I just really like you" he said with a smirk, knowing it would make you blush again

You both munched on the pizza happily, talking about the night. You must have apologized a thousand times for the "bathroom incident" as you lovingly called it. Eventually, you both had enough to eat and were getting tired

"Come on Y/N, let's go get some sleep" he said, taking your hand

"Can we cuddle?" You asked innocently

In response, Alex spun around and picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing you. "Of course, I'm not letting you get away that easy"

You both collapsed on his bed, sighing pleasantly after the long night. You lazily took most of your clothes off until you were left in your panties and a tank top. Alex stripped down to his boxers. You shamelessly looked down his body. Gods he was a sexy man. His physique was incredible. Alex smirked down at you, laughing a little

"Eyes up here darlin" he says, crawling into bed with you and pulling you close

"I can't help it, it's not my fault you're so sexy" you mumbled up against his neck. You felt him smiling at you, rubbing your back

"Don't even get me started on who's the sexy one right now. I'm having a hard time not letting my mind wander" he admitted

You smiled against his skin, squeezing him tighter. His hand was tracing lines up and down your back, your arm draped over his side, caressing his side lovingly. You both talked for a little while longer, Alex occasionally pressing soft kisses to your temple until you both drifted into a peaceful sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning, you were thoroughly wrapped up in Alex's arms. From what you could tell, he wasn't awake yet. He was softly snoring against your hair which made you laugh. Neither one of you had hardly moved from the position you fell asleep in. You still couldn't believe how you had gotten lucky enough to be in this position right now. You were wrapped warmly in Alex Høgh Anderson's arms, who was in fact one of the biggest sweethearts you had ever met

Your daydreams were cut short when you noticed that he wasn't snoring anymore. Carefully you looked up and saw him smiling down at you

"I wasn't sure if you were awake, did I wake you up?" he asked sleepily

"No, I woke up just before you" you yawned. You soon realized you had morning breath and were suddenly hyper-aware of every flaw you saw in yourself. You shuffled uncomfortably in Alex's arms, thinking of how your makeup was probably smeared all over your face. Alex yawned and shuffled around, getting out of bed

"I'm gunna hop in the shower quick, you'll still be here right?" He asked. You nodded back. He flashed you a smile and headed off towards the bathroom. Quickly, you looked in the mirror above his dresser to wipe away the rubbed makeup and put your clothes back on

Wondering how Taylor was, you wandered down the hall to check on her. The door to Jordan's room was cracked open, so you peeked inside

"Taylor?" You whispered. No answer. "Taylor?" You called a bit louder

"In here Y/N!" You heard her call from the kitchen

Taylor and Jordan were sitting on the couch together eating some cereal. They looked very happy together, still cuddled up against each other. The sight made you smile

"Mornin guys" you said cheerfully

"Well good morning sleepy head, where's Alex?" Jordan asked

"Just in the shower" you replied, fidgeting with the hem of your dress. "Which reminds me that we haven't showered in a day. Or brushed our teeth. We should probably do that soon, right Taylor?" You said shyly

Jordan smirked and nudged Taylor in the ribs. She giggled. "Well I for one DID take a shower this morning....with Jordan...ya know...to save some water" she laughed. But she noticed the way you were fidgeting and knew right away that you were getting in your own head. "But I have not brushed my teeth, you're right. So we should definitely get home to take care of that" she added, giving you a small knowing smile

"Take care of what?" Alex asked, casually walking into the living room wearing nothing but a towel. Little beads of water were trailing down his skin. You had to tear your eyes away from his V-line to look him in the eyes

"Uhh..um...we were talking about how we should get home to freshen up. Brush our teeth. Shower. Change out of last night's clothes" you muttered. You swore you saw Alex's face droop, although he gave you a smile and sat down next to you. It took everything in your power not to run your hand over his body just then

"I guess that's probably a good idea. You have some puke on your dress love" Alex pointed out with a smile. Your cheeks immediately reddened, looking down to see he was right

"Oh god you're right. That is disgusting. See, I need to change. You don't wanna spend more time with me looking like this" you said, trying not to sound too weak

"I'd spend time with you no matter what you were wearing. You could wear a paper bag if you felt like it" Alex stated simply, playing with the knot in his towel. You blushed harder, nudging him in the side as he leaned into you

"Well....shall we Y/N?" Taylor asked loudly, pulling you out of your little daze Alex's touch put you in

"Yeah, probably should." You said sadly

Both Alex and Jordan got up with you guys, you and Alex walking towards the door, Taylor and Jordan meeting in the middle of the living room to embrace each other and whisper in each other's ears

Alex reached behind him, rubbing his head. You tried not looking at his bulging muscles. To no avail. You were staring again and he knew it. When your eyes went back to his, you were met with a teasing smile and mischief in his eyes

"Trouble concentrating there?" He teased, reaching out for you and pulling you into him

"Shut up", you mumbled against him with a smile. You held onto him tightly, really not wanting to leave him but on the other hand, you knew if you didn't get cleaned up, you'd only get more self conscious. His hands were running up and down your back as he held you

"Are you okay?" He asked softly

Your heart melted. Somehow, he knew you were in your own head. You nuzzled into him closer and sighed

"Yes. I really am. I don't want to go, I really don't. It's got nothing to do with you. You didn't do anything wrong. I just really want to get cleaned up. I feel nasty and not at all confident" you admitted shyly

He moved one hand to your cheek and cupped it, prompting you to look up at him. "It's alright, I never want you to feel uncomfortable. But just know that I still think you look beautiful. Even with a puke stained dress and your hair all messy and half your makeup rubbed off" he laughed, thumb trailing along your cheekbone

You blushed deeply, a giant smile spreading across your face as you found a bit of confidence and moved on your tiptoes for a kiss. He gladly leaned down and kissed you gently, his hand still cupping your cheek while the other held you close to him. You hummed against his lips and smiled, breaking the kiss to give him two or three more small little pecks

Jordan appeared suddenly behind Alex and slapped him on the shoulder. "Alright lover boy, let's let our lovely ladies go" he said with a laugh

Everyone laughed as you headed out the door, giving Alex one last smile over your shoulder. He had a big smile on his face as he held his hand up to his ear like a phone

"Call me baby!!" He yelled with a huge laugh. That damn towel nearly falling off before he slowly closed the door

I'm tagging those of you who showed interest in this series-thank you all!!

@thevikingsheaux @dangerousvikings @tephi101 @ravens-of-kattegat @stardustandbucky @the-only-villain-here-is-me @elska-of-skrifa @honestsycrets @bluearcher20 @nutinanutshell @supernaturalvikingwhore @ivarthebonelessvk @ivaraddict @ivarandersen