#might actually write out the smut someday. we'll see

[coffeeghoulie]

Mushy May Day 12: First Time

Dew's entrusted with Aeon's first time Up Top.

Thank you to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together, and to @ghuleh-recs for the divider <3

Contains t4t ghouls, discussion of boundaries, a little miscommunication that is quickly resolved, but no actual smut because this got long and it was very late lol

"I'm not him, you know," Aeon says tentatively, pulling away from the barrage of kisses, even as Dew keeps backing them against the wall of their hotel room. They're somewhere they've never been before, somewhere in the middle of the United States that they can't really remember the name of. "I don't know if I want it if this is just because he's not here."

"Voidling," Dew freezes, hands caging Aeon in. Something in his hungry expression cracks, softens, and Aeon stares with wide, nervous eyes as Dew brings a hand in, running his knobby knuckles over Aeon's cheek in a sort of caress. His brow furrows. "Did you think I wanted you because Aether's back at the Abbey?"

Aeon shrinks back as much as they can. It isn't a lot, their spine already pressed to the tacky hotel wallpaper. They can't meet Dew's eyes. The silence is enough of an answer. Dew hums, and Aeon squeezes their eyes shut. They bite at their already kiss-swollen bottom lip.

"Voidling, look at me," Dew says in a tone that Aeon's never heard from the fire ghoul before. It's shockingly soft, and it's enough of a jolt to their system that they glance up, mismatched eyes meeting copper. He sighs, and Aeon tenses up as he keeps touching their cheek. "I want this because it's you. Blow off some steam, yes, but because I wanted to do this with you. If you don't, if you think you're obligated to keep going, tell me to fuck right off, okay?"

Aeon blinks, a little shellshocked. They had played it up at the Ritual a few hours earlier, falling to their knees at Dew's feet and bending back so far their helmet had brushed against the stage.

Dew had stalked up to them after bows, spindly fingers around the back of their neck burning like a brand, whispering in a low, dark tone that they'd be rooming with him tonight. It had sent a spark of something hot down their spine. And when they had gotten to the hotel, and the door had barely latched behind them before Dew was pouncing, kissing them like he meant to devour?

It hadn't been a spark. More like a bonfire.

They've tried to make up for their inexperience with enthusiasm, pretending like they haven't been staring at him since the moment they arrived Up Top a few months ago.

"Voidling?" Dew asks, an undercurrent of worry filtering into his voice. "Hey, Aeon, you alright?"

Aeon shakes their head, not as a no but to clear their head. "'M okay," they say, trying their best to maintain eye contact.

"What's goin' on in there, Aeon?" Dew asks, hand still on their cheek. "Let me in."

"I want this, I do, I'm just-" They sputter, tongue too big in their mouth, unyieldy.

"Easy. Take a breath. 'M not gonna bite. Not unless you ask."

Aeon obeys, chest heaving as they inhale hard. "I haven't done this Up Top yet, not in a vessel. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Oh," Dew's hands move down from their face, curling softly around their biceps. "That's okay. I'd be honored, voidling, that is, if you're sure you want it to be me. I haven't exactly been, ugh, the nicest to you."

Aeon flushes a dark violet, making silver freckles stand out on their cheeks. Their mismatched eyes go wide, hair falling over their forehead with how violently they nod. "Please, really want it to be you."

Dew smiles, something softer than Aeon's ever seen on the fire ghoul's face, and he reaches up to push a few strands back. The lamplight softens his sharp features, and he cocks his head. "Let me treat you right, voidling."

Aeon nods again, and Dew draws them into another kiss. This is like nothing Aeon's ever experienced, leagues of difference between this and the kisses from before, the ones that felt like Dew was trying to consume them whole. This feels almost reverent, the way Dew's lips move against theirs, the way he cups their cheek like they're something to be cherished. They don't know what to do with their hands, brushing over Dew's hair, down his arms.

They kiss like that until Aeon's dizzy with it, pulling back to pant desperately. There's a warmth blooming deep in their gut, knees shaking. Dew laughs, not unkind, and begins to herd him towards one of the queen beds. Their eyes go wide as the backs of their calves bump against the mattress, collapsing back onto the bed.

"Again, voidling, if you don't like any of this, tell me to fuck off. Those words. Okay?" Dew looks more serious than he has the entire time, a small furrow between his brows that Aeon has the impulse to kiss away.

"If I don't like it, I'll tell you to fuck off," they repeat, nodding. Dew's lips quirk up in a smirk, and it sends a bolt of heat down Aeon's spine, tail flicking as they prop themself up on their elbows.

"Good boy," he purrs, crowding closer before pausing. "'Boy' a good word for you?"

Aeon chews on their bottom lip, the pupil of their good eye probably dilated to the size of a quarter. "Very much so," they breathe.

Dew nods curtly, visibly filing that information away in his brain. "Let's get you stripped down, want to see what you're hiding under those hoodies, voidling."

Aeon obeys, tugging the hoodie up over their head. "You've seen me changing, though," they say, struggling not to tangle the hoodie in their horns with how eager they are to get rid of it. "We share dressing rooms."

Dew leans in, a glint in his copper eyes. "Yeah, but I've never looked. Let me see."

Aeon swallows hard, tossing the hoodie at the corner of the room, blush spilling down their chest as they feel more than see Dew's eyes on them.

"Pretty," Dew hums, gaze raking over the swell of Aeon's chest. The chill of the air conditioning makes their nipples pebble, a pretty lavender against the rest of their skin, and they fight the urge to cover themself with their arms.

Dew notices, because of course he does, ever perceptive, and tugs his own hoodie off, revealing skin covered in silvery scars, matching sets along his ribcage and two much more prominent ones underneath his pecs. Aeon swallows the saliva pooling on their tongue, staring unashamedly. "That's better, right?" Dew laughs, pressing closer until Aeon can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

"Yeah," Aeon says, chest heaving and all they've done is kiss. "Dew, please." It's not something that they meant to say, but it slips past their lips on a whine.

Dew absolutely lights up at the sound. "What, voidling? What are you begging all pretty for?"

Aeon tries to turn their head away, but then Dew's fingers are on their chin, gently making them keep eye contact. "Please fuck me?"

Dew leans in, pressing a soft kiss at the corner of Aeon's mouth. "Of course, voidling. I'm going to take such good care of you, I promise."

[catty-words]

finally back home from my family's and ready to put last year to rest with the

2023 fic writing roundup

Total 2023 Word Count: 95,451 published words, but 116,360 words written for the year   Total 2023 Hits: 25,513 Other 2023 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,272; Comment threads: 198; Bookmarks: 252; Subscriptions: 158.

Total 2022 Word Count: 36,969 published words, but 132,549 words logged for the year Total 2022 Hits: 17,797 Other 2022 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,910; Comment threads: 111; Bookmarks: 259; Subscriptions: 20.

links and titles to 2023 works

[cw's nancy drew] couldn't help noticing the gold mines glistening in your skin (3,966 words) - a birthday gift for bethany! what if nancy and ace hooked up pre-canon?

[never have i ever] one more last try (4,323 words) - for the girlies* who were/are incensed that the nhie writers had the audacity to make bad benvi sex canon and then UNINTERESTING. *it's me, i'm girlies

[cw's nancy drew] first contact (849 words) - nancy and ace texting can be poetry if you hold my hand and just believe!

[never have i ever] answering machines & how your voice says it’s gonna get back to me someday (3,163 words) - devi and ben's relationship through their first year at university as told by the voicemails they leave each other

[never have i ever] a lie away from getting you into the mood (77,482 words) - i mean. how could i possibly sum this one up? d/b FWB, sure, but also so much more than that. bitty spark 'verse pt 2.

[never have i ever] to nestle deep into the safe-keeping (3,440 words) - in a now time-honored tradition, i wrote rose some smut for her birthday! d/b being soft and in love their first year of university.

[cw's nancy drew] it’ll hurt like a mother when your foot comes out (2,228 words) - drew crew hike to commemorate a real life hike! fun!

Favorite Fic: 'gold mines' is a strong contender, but. you know it's 'lie away'. how could it be anything else? i spent a year and a half writing it and i finished the fuck out of it despite the tornado that stirred up my personal life this year. i don't know that i've ever been prouder of a fic. almost certainly not.

Hardest Fic: also 'a lie away'. the amount of material that i wrote and then scrapped because it wasn't right was A Lot.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2024? haven't done a prompt game in a while! think it might be time to pull out that song lyric one, i've been gifted some exceptional music that way.

that said, though, when i do have all day to sit down and write, i've found myself more interested in chipping away at something longer-form. then again, it's been a while since i exercised the prompt-filling muscle in my writer brain, and i don't want that muscle to lose definition entirely. we'll see, i suppose.

What was the best thing about 2023? I FUCKING FINISHED 'A LIE AWAY' I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

What was the worst thing about 2022? woof. i sure did split from my partner of a decade. which has actually been incredibly good for me, but living through it was a bit fucky, as you can imagine.

which makes this a great time to nod at 'answering machines' for being perfect creative fun and getting me out of my head during the worst of the breakup. looking at the title alone can make my brain stutter, though, it's a time capsule from such a tumultuous period in my life. probably doesn't help that i used a song from my unofficial breakup album to title the fic. i love you, 'answering machines'. i cannot fathom rereading you at this time.

Any last thoughts for 2023? i am content. the year was good to me, all things considered.

Goals for 2024

fuck around with devi the vampire slayer

original fiction???

fall head over heels for another show

continue writing devi/ben even if the audience for it dissipates entirely

[eriquin]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @devondespresso. Thank you! I'm going to do this instead of writing. XD

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Oh, statistics page here I come. Wait, that's just in my dashboard. 12

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

897,492

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Dragon Quest Builders 2, and Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Trolley Problem

War of the Broses

Is This a Kissing Fic?

That Time I Resurrected the Big Bad

Of Empires, Queens, and Builders

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Eventually. Because I like engaging with people who liked my fic enough to comment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A lot of my stuff is WIP. Nothings going to be particularly angsty when I'm done with it, but the conclusion of the current plot of The Trolley Problem is going to be a downer. Also The Third Task might get a bittersweet ending, depending on how you look at it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Now I'm trying to remember if I have massages in my fics so I can make a joke out of that question. A lot of my things aren't really over. Is This a Kissing Fic? is short and sweet, with very little angst, so maybe that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! It's limited so far, but both my Bigbad fic and the Kissing Fic have a lot of smut. I've got a monsterfucker WIP in the drafts somewhere. Crown of Thorns might have tentacles stuff in at some point. We'll see.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Kind of but not really? An old WIP is the cast of Supernatural but with the plot of Final Fantasy VI. It is unfinished, and not really a crossover. I have cameos from other things either in my fics or planned for my fics. Very blink-and-you'll-miss-it though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but @gigglebug and I cross-beta'd a lot of DQB2 stuff together.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

That's like picking a favorite child. Right now it's Steve/Eddie and Malroth/Builder.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The aforementioned SPN-FF6 fic, Dancing Mad. Maybe someday.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Banter and dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Does doing too much world building count as a weakness? Otherwise, editing, probably.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it but it has to fit the character. And I don't really speak any other languages so I know I'm just kind of flailing at stuff. It's fanfic. It'll do.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ao3 would tell you Supernatural but it's actually Legend of Zelda. Those are lost to time and my grandfather's old computer, never to be found again. Maybe something is written down on paper somewhere.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I like the adventure fics with lots of twists, so probably Of Empires, Queens, and Builders. Maybe someday I'll write the sequel. Crown of Thorns is shaping up pretty nicely, too.

Tagging (no pressure): @gigglebug, @ltleflrt, @torakowalski, @vthx, @redbirdblogs, @momotonescreaming, @patchworkgargoyle

[sam-loves-seb]

i was tagged by the wonderful @energievie yesterday but i never got around to it so i'm doing it today to answer some end of the year questions 💙

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

171

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

1,126,901

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

don't act like you don't know

i know they're watching

oh lover boy

take me out (& take me home)

why do you do this to yourself

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! if people are kind enough to leave me a little message at the end of my works, i want to be able to take the time to respond to it

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oh god, i don't know i don't really write anything with angsty endings, i'm a lover of happy endings almost exclusively, so i guess i'll have to go with--

so this is christmas

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

too many to choose from tbh uhh [spins wheel] [flips coin] this one

if it makes you happy

7. Do you write crossovers?

hell yes, i'm a slut for a good crossover, here i have two:

stuck in reverse

made for lovin' you

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lmao ooooh yeah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

[sighs] yes, on occasion, but i haven't written any for my current hyperfixation yet (gallavich) but i kinda wanna put some in my bb fic so we'll see if that happens

it also doesn't help that it takes me nine million years to write smut because every time i do i blush like a fucking virgin for literally no reason

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah, a few times

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've never co-written a fic before, but i've definitely co-plotted many a fic

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

idk u guys i usually say joshdonna from the west wing, but gallavich game them a run for their money this year tbh like i'm down so bad it might actually be them now

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

probably a place in my heart will always be hers solely because i never came up with an actual ending for it so even if by some chance i update it eventually, i doubt i'll ever really finish it

15. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and characterization (i think?)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

pacing and consistency

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you can speak/read/write other languages then i say go for it, but me personally i only speak english so you will not see me attempting other languages in a fic bc i know i will butcher it and nobody wants that

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

marvel? like a decade ago? probably clintnat or stevebucky and i orphaned all of them

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

ooo good question, idk i've toyed with the idea of writing feysand (acotar) fics before and even started a couple after my last re-read, but i've never fully pulled the trigger on it. maybe someday i will

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

what we stay alive for

tagging anyone who wants to play, this was really fun