#mf guess what - it's not affordable because of u fucking people!!!!!!

[monstress]

videos of ppl from first world countries recommending to live in my country make me so murderous that i wanna singlehandedly drop the number of "expats" in my country by buying a gun

[bunnyboyzyon]

Happy disability pride month yall!!!

Love to everyone, shoutout to all the disabled queers out in the world bc I love u /p (for those who may ask "do I count" here's an article, it tell you what the colors mean near the bottom so you know if you count)

Shoutout to everyone under that white stripe (invisible and undiagnosed disabilities) with physical undiagnosed disabilities who get told they're too young to have trouble with *insert body parts* or that they're just lazy or they just need to work out more. Like no!!! (Personal experience) I've done sports for 2 years!!! I climbed 4 flights of stairs everyday for months!!! I'm not fucking lazy and inactive!!! There is something going on with my legs!!!!!!

Shoutout to those who don't have the ability to get offically diagnosed for whatever reason but have been told by a doctor what they have and people are still like what if you just walked more that'd fix the problem surely (I've been told now by 3 medical professionals that I very likely have EDS, I cannot afford to get that tested so I remain undiagnosed and continually told by people around me if I just worked out I wouldn't have problems, like mf working out does not cure a genetic disorder)

Shoutout to minors with autism that wasn't caught early on who can't get offically diagnosed because their parents have a negative bias towards/misinformation about autism so "you can't possibly have it" (yes I approve of self diagnosis with proper research bc guess what, not everyone can get diagnosed bc not everyone is that privileged!!!)

Shoutout to people with adhd who get called lazy, just bc your brain working differently does not mean you're lazy!!!

Shoutout to people with undiagnosed mental disorders that don't exactly know what's going on and feel like they're going insane, you're not going insane and someday you'll find out what's going on and be able to deal with it <3

Shoutout to everyone with depression who has to deal with the crowd that thinks just going outside or smiling more will fix it, it's genuinely ridiculous that some people still believe this cures depression

Shoutout to people with anxiety that prevents them from going out, whether it be parties, small hangouts, the store, anything, it's okay, there's genuinely so many people out there who feel the same way you do, you're not alone in dealing with this

Shoutout to people whos disabilities make them a picky eater, people act like it's such a wild idea that you don't want to eat certain foods like have they met a vegetarian or a muslim??? They don't complain when they don't eat certain things so leave us alone!!!

Shoutout to everyone who doesn't fall under these shoutouts I listed, I love u too /p and you deserve to be seen too

[filmbefore]

MEET THE JEON FAMILY !!

mr. and mrs. jeon are two of the most reputation - obsessed people in the state of maryland . neither of them were born into wealth of any kind , but yearned for the luxuries and renown that came with multiple zeros in your bank account . both parents tried a multitude of business ventures and failed many times over , more often leaving the family in even more debt than they started with . they both tried to instill these success and infamy driven values in their three children , seeing their kids as even more routes to their familial success . but when their kids were anything but perfect , it just drove a wedge in their relationship . long story short this whole family has been in their flop era since day one .

ARTHUR JEON : FATHER 

arthur has always held the kids at an arms distance , never wanting them to get to close . this was only made easier by the older man constantly playing a balancing act between the multiple jobs he would hold at once . when he was younger , he tried his hand at all kinds of odd jobs here and there , saving up enough money to marry his long term girlfriend . however , when their first child was born , both he and mrs. jeon decided that they needed a more steady income for their growing family . so , mr jeon took out a loan and decided to open a restaurant ! and you guessed it ! it failed within the first year . and that was just the start of all the bankruptcy that would follow their family for the foreseeable future . but arthur jeon is a shifty lil guy who has always been able to pull on people’s heartstrings and make a quick buck here and there when necessary . of course , having violet , one of the most naive people on earth , as a daughter was really useful for arthur . he had always been able to make violet believe anything he told her , even as she got much older . which is exactly how he manipulated his daughter into being their connection to a drug ring , ship drugs out to grayson , and keep his affairs a secret . violet also learned how to victimize herself through this man ! like , any time she would catch him doing something less than respectable , arthur would pull that “ oh i am just the worst dad ever . i have never been good to you , vv . you deserve better ” which would then put her in the situation of comforting him ,, which is when he would be like “ violet , i know you care for our family . if you tell anyone , everything as you know it will change . you wouldn’t do that right ? ” and suddenly she’s blackmailing the woman he slept with to keep their family together smh Men ..

CLARE JEON : MOTHER

clare jeon is the final boss when it comes to perfectionism ! she has been the one who has always wanted to keep up appearances so that her kids and her family were never seen as ‘ being without ’ because it would reflect poorly on her and her skills as a mother . with one new credit card after the next and money that they should have been using to pay the bank back , clare would constantly buy her kids clothes with money that they didn’t have and drive the nicest car she could afford when driving the kids to school . her standards for her kids were unreasonably high and she was not afraid to let them know when they disappointed her by simply not being the perfect image she had in her head . and unfortunately , violet lived to try and reach her mother’s impossible standards , coming up short every time . after all , the girl had a chronic case of middle kid syndrome and was frequently the butt of her mother’s internalized misogyny . even when grayson was acting up , it seemed as though clare would prefer to deal with his screw ups than give violet the time of day for her newest swim trophy . maybe that was all in violet’s head , but it still left lasting effects on her self esteem . 

GRAYSON JEON : OLDER BROTHER

( DRUGS TW ) these two were thick as thieves growing up . they were only a few years apart in age and the little girl idolized her older brother . grayson almost acted as a loving parent for violet and their younger brother , ben . with the way their parents treated all of them , grayson knew that his younger siblings needed someone to just be there for them and appreciate their accomplishments . even when grayson began getting older and getting into trouble , violet turned a blind eye to the situation , choosing instead to enjoy their time together before he would go away to college someday . however , once grayson began doing drugs more and more often , violet began to distance herself from him in order to make herself look better to their parents . she hoped that if she began to treat him like their parents did , that they would respect her for being so mature for her age ! that didn’t happen . and suddenly , grayson was leaving for an indefinitely long trip to europe . and that’s basically where their relationship went down the mf drain because then violet became her family’s liaison between the ,, shh ,, cartel and grayson away in europe , just causing his drug problems to get worse and worse instead of helping him like a sister should . all because her dad lied to her ,, again ,, and said that him staying out there is what was best for grayson and what was best for their family as a whole . but now grayson is in the elites and violet is Scared as fuck because she knows she absolutely fucked him over !! anyway !!!!!!!!

BENJAMIN “ BEN ” JEON : YOUNGER BROTHER

violet has pretty much always babied ben because he was has always been her little baby ! he has always been a lot more quiet and skittish than his older siblings . think : charlie from the perks of being a wallflower . he’s very emotional and more than a little awkward around other people . he also has that typical jeon kid mentality of wanting to impress his parents so fucking bad , but he hasn’t really grown out of it like grayson and violet have since moving out . he’s still a senior in high school and dealing with his parents’ shit every day . but now he’s alone with them , making it ten times worse . he tries to call violet almost every day , just to be able to talk to someone since he doesn’t really have friends at school . but most of the time , he can only call violet when he’s driving home from school now since their parents won’t talk to violet anymore and would probably be angry as fuck if they found out he was talking to her still . idk bro the boy just can’t wait to go to college and get out of his parents’ house . sweet , sweet kid . love u ben 

GORDON “ GOOSE ” TELLER : HONORABLE MENTION

( DRUGS TW ) okay i couldn’t NOT mention goose in violet’s family task because this man truly is like family to her . bennie covered most of it in their family task for goose , but i just gotta dive in some more from lil vi’s perspective . violet and goose probably met when she was around 12-13 ish ??? because he and grayson met at boarding school . and because goose was always kinda ,,, uh ,, iffy about his home life , grayson would invite him to come spend the summer fucking around in annapolis with him . he was very much like My Older Brother’s Best Friend in violet’s life , in the way that he would kinda pick on her and bug her but really and truly goose just reminds violet so much of some of the best summers of her childhood . she just remembers giving our gemini king a lil late bday party sometime in the middle of june . violet would probably bake a goose a strawberry cake with sprinkles all over it and some odd number of candles stuck here and there . she also remembers riding in the back of her parents’ car with goose and grayson up front , playing some music that their parents would probably kill them for listening to so loudly with the windows down . she remembers her , grayson , goose , and ben sitting on the curb outside of 7-Eleven drinking their free slurpees . god literally just so many memories i could go on and on and on . but like bennie explained in their task , violet and goose obviously did not remain very close after grayson disappeared to europe . especially since violet could pretty much assume where her older brother’s drug habits originated . she has always kind of held some sort of contempt for goose because of that . even now . she will never tell him that , but she has always wondered if things would be different if goose and grayson had never met . she and goose still got close at yale though after realizing that they are the closest thing that either of them had to family when all this blackmailer shit started . idk i just love them a lot 

[ecotone99]

[MF] Dave

Written by Loren D. Davis

--I-- His A Street condo lay in disarray. The vast space that once remained pleasantly empty was now strewn with empty whiskey bottles, cigarette butts, and ashes. Strong odors pervaded the air, most likely originating from the cocktail of human secretions expelled during the night of revelry. Dozens of naked men and women slept atop one another in scattered piles upon the floor. Dave stepped out to the balcony, pulling out the last cigarette in the carton. He lit it as he felt the weight of his self-loathing sink in once more. Or maybe that was just the hangover. A gentle gust of wind rustled the thick brown hair on his head. The February air was unforgiving, and the sky was overcast to match his mood. His mind had been troubled for some time. Lunging headfirst into sensory overload was his first reflex amid his sorrow, but the booze, drugs, and women only numbed the pain for a few hours a day at most. These comforts always left him feeling worse the next day than the last. The firm would have to do without him today. In spite of his young age, Dave had managed to rack up a fair amount of wealth working in the Financial District. From the large windows that spanned most of the side of the floor he owned, he could see the building where he worked. His visitors had often told him that he had the best view in the whole city, complete with the bay. He lived a comfortable life, yet his career seemed to have carried more significance back when the fruit of his labor went to much more vital objects than Scotch and hookers. He understood that the lifestyle so many of his peers relished--a lavish life of licentiousness that he too had sought immaturely when his income was more modest--was not as great as it had been made out to be. In his view, no man is truly essential. After all, how is man any different than tiny ants? Man is but a pest and a nuisance. In fact, man is worse than an ant. Ants are unwavering in their loyalty to the greater fabric of their existence. Man is arrogant yet parasitic in nature. Maybe it was the deep loneliness he felt. He was surrounded by hundreds of acquaintances that took no issue with partying with him for days in a row. They partook in the many commodities he had to offer, but none of them were true friends. The connection he had with them would always be superficial at best. How could they truly understand? Half the people that partied with him were the spoiled offspring of the world’s elite who had thus far been tightly guarded and now made use of their newly-found freedom with eagerness. Others were higher class junkies, escorts, and cold-blooded businessmen who were only there to get their fix.

--II-- He had not spoken to her for over five months. That last call was about his son’s birthday party invitation. His ex-wife, Victoria, had married an executive and moved to a posh suburb of San Jose, California. From the few encounters he had with Victoria’s new husband, Bill, he had gathered that his two kids felt comfortable with him. Bill had an adolescent daughter, and Victoria spoke endlessly about how great he was as a father. Dave did not talk to his kids much. He knew he should do more as their father, but he still felt guilty for having been so distant when they all lived under one roof. There was a time when he felt that they stood in his way. That man-child just wanted to have fun. He held little regard for whether Victoria would continue to tolerate his behavior.

--III-- To whoever the fuck reads this: More than likely, you don’t give a shit. I know you won’t agree with this decision, but that’s a good thing. Most people aren’t supposed to agree with the poor fuck that shoots his brains out, hangs himself, or leaps off a building to his death. What a fucked up world we’d live in if most people agreed with that. Just because I’m fucked up doesn’t mean I think other people can’t enjoy life. I guess I just don’t think it makes a difference that I do. The way I see it, life is an acquired taste like good caviar, or a rare Bordeaux. They’re expensive, and incredibly sought after by some, but that doesn’t mean everyone will indulge in them. I’m simply not impressed. So, to my son Jonathan, any my daughter, Abigail: You could not have a better mother. Always love and respect her. I’m sorry our story did not play out differently. I wish you the best. To Victoria: I hope you live a plentiful life filled with happiness.

Dave left the letter on his marble kitchen countertop, held underneath the knife block. He locked the bottom doorknob before he walked out his front door into the hallway. He walked slowly to the elevator and stared at it for about three minutes, contemplating what he intended to do.

--IV-- “Can you talk?” Dave had texted Victoria four days before. No answer.

--V-- The stairs seemed to be a more fitting vehicle to reach his destination. Elegant even. So he went up eleven stories to the top of the building. His journey up the never-ending flights of stairs was laborious, but it afforded him the luxury of reflecting on the various choices he had made throughout his life, serving only to strengthen his resolve. He gained deeper conviction of the futility and utter insignificance of his contributions. It became increasingly difficult to breathe, and Dave felt that his eyes were suddenly enveloped in a dense veil. He could no longer see clearly. Dave stopped mid-step, carefully patting the ground in front and around him to set himself down to rest. A cold hand gently cupped Dave’s shoulder in a gesture of pity. Dave knew. “I guess I should keep going.” Slowly, Dave was guided up the remaining steps, until he came up to the door that exited to the rooftop. Dave clutched the doorknob firmly, twisting it while pushing the door with the weight of his body to force it against the assailing winds. With heavy footsteps, Dave made his way to the edge where solid ground came to its end. He paused to inhale deeply.

--VI-- The sun is rising on the West Coast. Victoria awakens for her morning jog. Today, she runs along the beaches of the Northern Californian coast, a peaceful retreat away from the usual noise of the city. Her husband had decided to take the family on a weekend camping trip at a park upstate for a short break. The morning air was cool and crisp, but not unbearable. Victoria searched through her iPhone for a suitable playlist for her routine. A barrage of notifications went off as she entered an area with reception. Deep in the park, there was no service, a blessing for those looking to disconnect from the incessant noise of the modern world. Among the four or five text messages she received was one from Dave. She called him, but there was no answer. She called again. Still no answer. Again. No answer. Relenting, she carried on with her jog.

--VII- The picture of the building’s height could not dissuade Dave from his mission. He was blissfully unaware of the distance he would ultimately travel. He smiled with mild trepidation as he stretched his arms. The winds wrapped his arms and legs like thick frigid ribbons, pulling him downward with force. He floated with a sensation he imagined resembled a feather as it glides gracefully to the ground. He heard a distinct ring in the distance. Was this the sound of death approaching rapidly? The singing celestial hosts beckoning him to respite? As the sound grew nearer, his peace was swiftly seized and replaced with profound doubt and remorse. It was his phone ringing on the twenty-ninth floor. He was sure of it. But he was helpless. If he could have grown wings in that very instant, he would have, but it could not be. The serenity with which he had embarked on his trajectory had quickly been replaced with terror. He was afraid of his impending doom, and he wanted nothing else than to be rescued from this torment and dread. What had once appeared to only take a few breaths to accomplish seemed now to take an eternity to complete. With every passing moment he lived, with every breath he drew, he further regretted the step he had taken. He was afflicted not only by the gargantuan weight of the shortcomings that had propelled him to this state, but by the end he could not manage to see. He yearned for the finale to his pain, but it would not arrive. It may have only taken a few seconds, or even minutes, for Dave to exit his anguish, but he would have experienced it over the course of years in that reality which existed in his mind. Time was very much stretched out for Dave on account of the path he chose.

--VIII-- Rays of warm sunshine beamed through the thin white window curtains. A rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted in as the distant buzz of lawn mowers and the gleeful giggles of children filled the morning air.

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