#megan gave up so much to take care of her mom; surely we can give up something

[hxnmantii]

Class 1-A and their car habits

tw: crack/fluff, cursing

People: Bakugo, Shoto, Izuku, Sero, Kiri, iida, Mina x mostly gn!reader (Mina is the only one that’s implied female!reader)

Ratings: PG

A/n: yuuhh get into💋 I personally would like to ride with Shoto. I just wanna hold his hand👉🏾👈🏾 but not on no simp shit. Originally, this was going to be just boys but who would I be if my gay self didn’t add the queen herself? Anyways, Who would you like to ride with?

Bakugo~

Bakugo does that sexy ass thing where he drives with one hand on the wheel and one hand on your thigh and when you don’t pay him enough attention he’ll lightly squeeze your thigh. This man does NOT share the aux....his stingy ass. He says he doesn’t wanna listen “to your trash music” but will play bxmb threat and NBA Youngboy at full capacity with the windows down. If you beg enough maybe he’ll play 1 Nicki song. But he will throw a fit and act like he doesn’t like Nicki even though he knows all of the lyrics. Altough he’s really uptight about his car, he enjoys driving and picking up the Bakusquad in it because he likes to feel useful and needed. No doubt about it, this man has road rage. He’s screaming outside the window and in the car about how someone cut him off and when someone screams back him, he’s like “Pull over right now cuz those sound like fighting words to me.” Now y’all in the back of a cop car and 30 minutes late to your dinner date. You are not, I repeat, you are NOT allowed to even think about eating in his car unless he’s got that plastic wrapping on his car. He treats his car so good (at some point you think he likes the care better than you) her name is Bethany. I-

Shoto~

Shoto has one hand on the wheel and one hand in your hand, stroking your hand from time to time and kissing the back of it. He had a sleek gray sliver car with a sunroom (he never actually uses) that goes fast and he likes going real fast because what they gon do, give him a ticket??? When his dad the number one hero??? Try again. He’s also the type to flick off the cops as he driving by because ACAB. He’s always wearing a gold Rolex and you got your nails done so when you hold his, the acrylics compliment his hand and watch.(like the pictures from Pinterest) You guys ride in comfortable silence. It’s so calming riding with him because although you’re slightly anxious with how fast he’s going, you’re at somewhat ease because he’s doing it so smoothly and you trust him. His windows are tinted because once again he’s the son of a pro hero and people are nosy, neither you or him like that. Although you don’t really need the assistance with Shoto being a living AC and heater in one, his seats have buttons for each seat and you can warm your bum. His car had the clean car smell...it just smells really clean. He’s got a bunch of condiments and napkins in his glove department. He doesn’t know where they came from. His whole vibe in his car is rich and elegant. He gets his car professional wash every Tuesday and you are required to come.

Kirishima

Kiri’s got a big ass red GMC truck and he gave the truck these monster wheels so it’s a force to be reckoned with. Her name is Sophie and like Bakugo, he loves her dearly but makes it clear to you that he’s love you more than her. He does the sexy ass thing where he’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand tightly holding on to your head rest so his arms flexing and he’s backing up with a concentrated look. that is so hot to me. He’s got a sticker on the back that says “honk if you’re manly” . He definitely would let you take the aux because you guys made a playlist of songs you chose together. He would be the type to start dancing when a good song came on, almost hitting someone in the process because he took both hands off the steering wheel out of excitement. He’s got road rage but not enough to actually start shouting or flicking someone off. In the trunk of Kirishima’s car, he’s got at least 5 different protein bottles as well a case of water and some jump rope. He says “You never know when I’ll need it to work out” but he has his personal gym?? Anyways, he has a specific section in his closet for red button ups because he likes to match Sophie when he drives her😭 I hate to say it but Kiri looks like a hill billy especially since he’s got those shoulder cut out button ups. He’s cute with it and he’s happy so you somewhat tolerate it

Midoriya

Izuku has more of a family car like a soccer mom car or a dark green Ford explore because he likes to pick everybody up to hang out and he needs space since he’s got a lot of them. Not to mention, he also likes to cruise and enjoy his time with you no matter where y’all go because we all know this man is a simppp. At every stop light, he’s gently grabbing your face and either kissing you on your cheek or forehead. He tried giving you a kiss on the lips once but he got so caught on the feeling that he ended up holding up the line and everybody was honking and made at him. He was so embarrassed that he now waits til you guys get to your destination to do all that extraness. Being the big fan he is, naturally he has some All might themed seatbelts and has all might stickers all over his steering wheel. He also has little all Might figurine on his dashboard that he prays to get him out of car trouble. Genuinely think it’s works too. Izuku in his trunk has a bunch of workout gear and gaze cuz he’s sexy like that. He does not have road rage at all....maybe a little. He might flick someone off but that’s as far as it goes. He definitely gives you the aux because he loves watching how lively you get it. (Y/n) “Do you know your Megan baby?”🥰 (ZuZu) “Y-yes?”

Iida

Now hear me out...Iida has a motorcycle. He’s got a need for speed that cars can’t really fufill because you can’t weave through other cars like a motorcycle can. His motorcycle has the highest tech on it naturally. It’s all black but has lights underneath it so he can change it by phone and ofc it’s always blue. You guys also have matching helmets that are Bluetooth so you’re able to talk to one another without having to yell very much. When you guise stop, he rubbing your arms to make sure that you’re okay and/if you need to pull over. Now when he’s not riding the motorcycle he’s got a Tesla. He preaches about the law and following the rules but when he get in the car, that’s a different story. With him you better either hold on tight to him or you better get double seat belt buckles for extra protection because he’s about to try and race the flash. (And you thought Shoto was bad) You get out thanking the universe for letting you touch ground again. Iida got the type of car that if you even breathe incorrectly around it, it’s going off and waking up the whole damn neighborhood. When iida first got his car, he read everything up on it so he would be fully able to use the car to its full potiential meaning that he’s got Siri set up, he can lock the door from his car, and watch the cameras on his house through the screen of his car. The Bluetooth is automatically connected to his phone so no you will not be getting the aux but you can play some tunes form his phone. He’ll even make you a playlist on Apple Music with his rich self.

Sero

Sero’s got a red convertible with tan seats and the weather allows it, his top is always down. His car always smells so good because he uses the wild cherry air freshener in his car. He blasts bad bunny and daddy Yankee as y’all are cruising slightly over the speed light. He also likes blasting Ski Mask. He’s the type to sing you the words while gently holding your face and singing to you with a lovey dovey smile on his face. He’s very respectful and turns down his music when entering neighborhoods because he doesn’t wanna mess with the vibes. You two have matching glasses that says queen/ king on yours and king on his. He definitely has some throw dice hanging from his mirror along with a picture of you and him taped to his dashboard cuz he’s also a simp. He’s always has a packet of Extra gum in his middle console along with warm water bottles. If police pulls him over, he definitely the type to start flirting with him so the officer just to make him uncomfortable enough to let him off with a warning. For a fact, he has the Puerto Rican flag on the antenna of his car. He has Led lights and likes them to be colorful rather than on one color. Sero definitely jogs around the front to open the door for you because he’s a jester and a gentleman in one. His part of his car is that the top can go down solely for the fact that the sun always highlights your skins so well.

Mina

Do I even need to say anything about the Pink queen herself?? She has a cute pink steering wheel case with matching pink seats and ofc she has a bedazzled stick shift. She has a Jeep. She the type of person to has matching glasses with her interior and when you get in the car, she’s putting her music on shuffle: a dangerous move because you go from Brent Faiyaz to Jhene Aiki to fucking Cardi B, Flo Mili, and etc. When you unbuckle your seat to start twerking in the seat, she’s automatically going to start hyping you up. She’s got one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on your ass smacking it as you fuck it up in the passenger seat. Y’all are literally swerving from side to side and let’s be honest here, Mina is not that good of a driver so you have almost gotten in an accident multiple times. She’s the type to pull over to take cute selfies or videos with you and post them all at once captioning it with “Late nights w/bae”. Underneath seat she an emergency packet filled with makeup, clothes, hair and first aid kit supplies. Although she’s not the best driver, she takes the rules really serious because she would hate to have an accident with you in the car. Like Sero, She has led lights in her car but they only flash pink. Mina is the queen of putting falsies on so she would mostly definitely put yours on (without tweezers) once you park as well as do your edges if you ask. She just has that talent. *chefs kiss* amazing

Reblogs are appreciated!

A/n: I’m lyin I definitely would be riding with Bakugo because I have major passenger rod rage lol and you definitely don’t wanna get your ass beat TWICE

[yayeetsonny]

Knucklehead Moves~USWNT x Baby Reader

Prompt: Similar to the imagine “Skateboarding Shenanigans” baby r gets hurt and faints... 

Requested by: @laikato​

Y/N PRO//

My name is Y/N L/N and I have 22 “moms”and sisters. Now I know what you’re thinking “22 of them? How?” Well you see I’m the youngest player on the USWNT at 16 years old, and as such the older players feel the need to be protective and parental in every situation and the younger ones are treated much the same way that I am. I’m sure if they had it their way I’d be wrapped in bubble wrap and carried around 24/7. They’re always saying how I’m “ the clumsiest kid they know.” and a “knucklehead” when it comes to doing anything that doesn’t involve kicking around a soccer ball. I wholeheartedly disagree but they’ll hear nothing of it. Speaking of the team, they’re picking me up from the airport any minute now. 

“Y/N!”

I turned around to see all of my teammates running towards me, breaking into a run myself I met them halfway.

“Hey guys!”

“Short stack! How you been?”

“Kiddo! We missed you!”

“You’ve grown since we saw you last!”

I continued to be greeted like that and made sure to give everyone a hug.

“I haven’t grown that much!” I playfully rolled my eyes

“Yes you have.” They all said

After we finished our Hello’s and got my bag from the luggage claim we split into groups and made our way to the hotel we were staying at for this camp. I was in a car with Alex, Tobin, Kelley, Morgan, and Megan.

“So kid, how’s school?” Tobin asked.

‘it’s good. I’m passing all my classes and I nailed my history test last week.”

“That’s awesome! Good job bub.” Christen said

“Thanks.”

“Any accidents?” Megan said smirking at me.

“U-um, no. No accidents.” I fidgeted in my seat.

“Mhm. How many?”

“3.”

“How bad.”

“Only ever a 4 or less.”

“A 4 on your scale is a 7 on anyone else’s scale.”

“Is not!”

“Right, well what about that time you injured yourself after you fell down a flight of stairs and then said “It’s only a 4.”?” Alex asked 

Everyone else gave me a knowing look while chuckling at the offended look on my face.

“It was!”

“Okay, okay. Settle down. We’re only teasing.” Morgan said

“in all seriousness though, you have got to be more careful Y/N.”

I just rolled my eyes playfully at them as we pulled up to the hotel. When we got out Megan was determined to carry my bag for me.

“Pinoe I can carry my stuff.” 

“I know but I just want to be helpful.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“Besides kiddo, I wanted to carry you.” Alex said taking me by surprise and picking me up and all but cradling me.

“Alexxx. I’m a big girl, I can walk.”

“Just let it happen Y/N.” Tobin laughed

“Ugh, fineee.”

When we got into the lobby to find out room assignments Alex finally put me down, with a pat to my butt and told me to “Stay close.”

“Yes mom.” I said jokingly.

I took off in the direction Morgan had gone and caught up with her, Mal, Lindsey, Sam, Emily, Tierna and Rose.

“Hey guys!”

“Hey Y/N! You ready for camp?” Sam asked

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“You ready for all the pranks we are gonna pull?”

“Yeah Sonny, I am. What are you guys thinking?” I giggled

“Well what about the good ol’ water bucket above the door trick?”

“Nah, that’s such an amateur move.” Lindsey said

“Ooo, what if we switched the water with… flour?” Mal said

“That sounds like quite the mess but that’s what we’re known for. I’m in.” Sam said

“Me too.”

“Me three.”

“Are you guys sure that’s a good idea? You know how the girls are about their hair.” I said hesitantly

“Aw, come on Y/n. Don’t be a chicken.” 

“I just don’t want the others to kill us.”

“Why would we kill you?” Carli asked coming out of nowhere.

“No reason!” We all said

“Mhm. What’re you hooligans planning?”

“Wha- why would you think we were planning anything?” I said nervously

“Well, for starters I’m talking to the youngest players on this team and every time we come to camp someone always ends up either getting their hair dyed or with itching powder in their underwear and it’s always traced back to one of you.” She said, giving us a look.

“Oh would you look at that, it’s time to go up to our rooms. Come on Y/N, you’re rooming with me!” Lindsey said, grabbing my hand and dragging me away.

“Thanks a lot guys!” Morgan called after us as we ran away.

“Lindsey, Y/n, walk!” Alex scolded as we passed her.

“Yes mom!” We replied

We made it up to our room and decided to do rock paper scissors for the bed closes to the bathroom. I won of course. 

“We have today off to settle in right?” I asked

“Yeah, why?”

“You wanna see if the others wanna go to a park for a little 4v4?” 

“Yeah!”

I texted the group I had with the other “Youngins” and told them to meet us down stairs in 5 to go to the park. They all agreed and said they would get a ball from the coaching staff. I texted the group I was in with the veterans and let them know where I was going, with who and that we’d be back soon. I received several

“Be safe.” 

“Make sure to wear your sweater, it’s chilly.” And 

“Be careful, don’t get hurt.” Texts. Moms I swear, always thinking it’s chilly.

I was pretty certain I wasn’t going to get hurt and that I didn’t need a sweater but I replied and promised that I’d wear one and that I would be careful. The girls and I met in the lobby and made our way to a park that we knew was nearby. 

The 4v4 started out pretty smoothly, It was me, Lindsey, Tirena, and Sam on one team and Mal, Rose, Emily and Morgan on the other. My team was down by 2 but I knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long. Sam crossed the ball to me and I went to head it passed Morgan.

 What happened next was like one of those freak accidents that if I had shifted my body even an inch away or had been a second earlier or later it wouldn’t have happened. Emily kicked her foot out to clear the ball away and instead made contact with my forehead. I hit the turf with a deafening thud and stayed down in a heap. Getting kicked in the head is just as nasty as it sounds. I could definitely feel blood gushing from my head.

“Y/N! Oh, shit! I’m so so sorry. I was only ever aiming for the ball I swear!” 

Emily was the first to reach me the others close behind. Her and Sam turned me over to look at my head and gasped when they saw the blood

“Moms are gonna kill us!” Emily said

“Nu uh, Emily they are gonna kill you.”

 “Who cares who they’re gonna kill! We have to do something!”

Mal and Morgan set to work, Morgan texting Abby and telling her what happened, making her swear not to tell until we at least made it look like I wasn’t dying and Mal taking her shirt off and pressing it to my forehead to stop the blood. Rose was doing her best to calm Emily who was distraught and Tierna was doing the same for Sam. 

“How you feeling Y/N?” Mal asked 

“Like I got kicked in the head.” I replied

“We’re gonna take you back to the hotel and have the medical staff stitch you up.”

“How are we gonna get passed all the vets?”

“uhhh… Not a clue.” Rose said

“We’re gonna be in so much trouble.”

After they were finally able to make the bleeding stop just enough to get me up and help me back to the hotel, we sent Morgan ahead to see if the coast was clear. When she signaled to us that it was we made our way in and quickly headed to see the medical staff. The others surrounded me so that I was hidden from any curious onlookers

“What seems to be the problem ladies?” Dawn asked

“Uhh, well… Y/N sorta got kicked in the head during a 4v4 in the park.” Emily said, moving aside to show Dawn.

Dawn just shook her head, said something like “of course she did.” And told me to sit on the table so the medics could stitch me up.

“You know the others will want to know what happened, right?”

“Dawn, please don’t tell them. I will, but not yet.”

She gave me an unimpressed look but agreed none the less.

“Geez kid, you’re always getting hurt.” The medic chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

They finished the stitches and told me how to take care of them and sent us all on our way. The girls did the same thing they did last time in case we ran into the girls, this time I had my hood up to cover my wound.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Ashlyn asked, coming up to us.

“Nothing!” We all said.

“Okay, what are you guys hiding?”

“Nothing. We gotta go though, bye Ash.” I said before I pushed Emily and Lindsey forward so they would start running.

Ashlyn PRO//

“Those kids are definitely hiding something.” I thought, shaking my head and walking back to my room with Ali.

“Hey babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you noticed the youngins acting weird lately?”

“No, why?”

“I dunno, it’s just that they were walking all tightly together and whispering about something and when I asked them what was up they all were acting weird. Especially Y/N.”

“Hmm, I’ll text Alex to see if she can get them to talk about it.”

She sent her a text and received a reply saying that she would wait in Y/N and Lindsey’s room, after asking the staff for an extra key and that she would let us know. 

“I hope they’re okay.”

“I’m sure they are, they probably just set up a messy prank again.” I shrugged.

Alex PRO//

After tricking the receptionist into giving me a key to Y/N and Lindsey’s room, I decided to just wait on Y/N’s bed. I would see what was really going on. I felt like I had been waiting forever when the door opened and all the young players on the team made their way inside.

“Well here’s what we’re not gonna do…”

They didn’t even seem to notice me yet, talking among themselves. Emily was the first to spot me, and when she did I saw all the color drain from her face.

“A-Alex?”

“Alex? What about her?” Morgan asked still not looking in the direction of the bed. Emily stopped her in her tracks and pointed to where I was sitting. Everyone else finally saw me and much like Emily they looked scared. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Is there something you guys want to tell me?” I said sternly

“W-well… you see… what had happened was-”

I cut her off when I saw Y/N was swaying on her feet and holding her head. She looked like she was going to pass out.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” I asked jumping up and going to her.

“I-I…” 

She didn’t get to finish because she fainted, I was able to catch her and hold her up with ease. My focus then shifted to the seven guilty players standing timidly by the door.

“Explanation. Now.” I growled

“I kicked Her in the head! I’m sorry!” Emily cried

“YOU WHAT?”

I picked Y/N up and carried her over to the bed where I laid her head gently on the pillow.

“Someone go get a cold wash cloth and someone call Christen, Ali and Ashlyn. Now.”

They all immediately started scrambling to do what I said and I could tell they were even more scared than before.

“I can’t believe none of you thought to tell us. Completely irresponsible. Does any one else know about this?” 

I gasped when I removed her hoodie and saw the stitches.

“We went to Dawn when we got back and we begged her not to tell. And we texted Abby right after it happened but same thing.” Mal said

Dammit Dawn.

“Tell Abby to get her ass in here, right now.” 

I took the cold rag from Emily and pressed it gently to Y/N’s cheek, neck and then being extra careful around her stitches, pressed it to her head.

“Y/N, open your eyes baby. You’re okay. Please open your eyes.” 

She slowly started to open her eyes, looking around wildly before trying to sit up.

“Wha- where am I?”

“You’re in your room baby. Take it easy, you need to lay down.” I cooed

She kept trying to sit up but I gently pushed her back down every time.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

Knocking sounded from the door and Rose went to answer it.

“Hey Al, what’s the- ”

“Oh my god, what happened?” Christen exclaimed.

“Emily kicked Y/N in the head.”

“You what?!” The newcomers yelled

“And Abby knew about it this whole time.”

“You knew?! Why didn’t you tell us?!”

“Ow, guys cool it with the yelling.” Y/N whined

“Sorry babe.” Ali said

“Sorry, kid. Our bad.” Ash said.

“I said I was sorry! It was an accident, I swear!”

“I swore I wouldn’t tell!”

“Guys, seriously.”

“Sorry, we’ll be quiet.”

“How the fuck did you manage to kick her?”

“We were playing a 4v4 game and when she went to head the ball passed Morgan I went to kick it out and got her forehead instead.”

“Jesus.” Ali said rubbing her temples.

“It was an accident?” I asked

“Completely.”

“You’re all grounded.” Christen said.

“What? that’s not fair!”

“ Actually it’s completely fair. You need to be careful and I know it was an accident but what you did was reckless and someone got hurt, and you hid it from us and we only found out after Y/N passed out.” I said leaving no room for argument

“What about Y/N? Why isn’t she grounded?” Tierna whined

“She’s hurt and I think that’s punishment enough.” Ashlyn said

“We’ll be with her 24/7 from now on anyways.” I added

“mmm… Nooooo” Y/N whined.

“it’s for your own good, kiddo.”

Later we told the whole team what happened and to say they weren’t please was an understatement. I had to talk Kelley down from kicking Sonnett’s ass and Becky had to convince Megan to switch rooms with her so she wouldn’t kill Morgan. The same could be said for the others. They understood that it was an accident but they hated that the girls hid it from us.

“How is she?” Kelley asked, having come over to check on our youngest teammate

“She could be better, she’s still groggy but she’s better than she was.” I shrugged

“What are we gonna do with her?”

“I vote bubble wrap.” Christen said

“I second that.” Tobin said

“Guys, that’s a little extreme don’t you think?” Ali chuckled

“She’s such a knucklehead though. She hid a pretty nasty injury from us. It’d be a way to make sure she’s safe.” Ashlyn chimed in

“Mmm, no. Ali is right. We’ll just have to keep a closer eye on her from now on.”

“I can take care of myself.” She mumbled, starting to wake up.

“We’re sure you can bub, but after today and at least for a little while we’re going to be hovering and babying you more than usual.” Chris said

“Ugh. Whatever.” She grumbled

We chuckled at her but we knew she would appreciate it anyways and that she secretly loved it when we babied her. 

She definitely was a piece of work sometimes and she kept us on our toes but we loved her more than anything and would always be there to help her when she was down.

//

Sorry for any mistakes

-N

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

[westcoastrry]

Tracing The Stars Chapter 10

Blairs POV

Harry played a great game.

He only played in the first half but ended up scoring two goals, and we ended up winning four to one.

I was originally going to sit by myself when I got here, but Maya saw me and demanded I sit next to her.

I didn't know her very well. I just knew that she was Harry's friend. I know they have been rumored to mess around, and I definitely believe it. She was beautiful, but there was no need for me to be jealous. I was not dating Harry, he was my friend, and that was it. Harry's past or present sex life is also none of my business.

Maya was also extremely nice. All I knew about her was that her parents ran some big-time magazine in the city. We talked the entire game about the school musical, soccer, and she even asked me a couple of questions about my job at Joe's cafe.

Once the game was over, I noticed Harry and Gabe talking to a scout. We briefly make eye contact, and he mouths a "Wait for me," and I nod my head in response.

I was getting a few stares now that the game was over, and people started to realize I was wearing Harry's jacket, but I didn't have time to overthink the situation because Harry finally came up to me with his brown curls pushed back with a headband.

"Harry, you played so well!" I say, wrapping my arms around his shoulders going in for a hug.

His arms settle around my hips. "That was the best I've played so far. Looks like you are my good luck charm peach."

"Hey, you are coming with us to Joes', right?" Gabe says, walking over to where Harry and I are standing.

"Yeah, I'll drive with Blair," Harry responds. "I think the rest of the team can split up in cars."

Gabe smirks at us. "Yeah, yeah, alright, we will give you two your privacy."

+++

By the time Hary packed his stuff up, and we drove a short five minutes to Joe's, a lot of people from the game were already there. Harry leads me to sit in the booth next to him.

At the table was Don, Tristan, Levi, and Jacob. They were all seniors on the soccer team, and I know they usually come to Joe's after soccer games because I have served them all a couple of times. Maya sat next to Gabe, and a girl named Aaliyah, who I recognized from the cheer team, sat next to Tristan, who I believed was her boyfriend.

The rest of the girls cheer team sat at a table directly adjacent from us. I can't believe that used to be me last year. Between school musicals, the cheer team, my job at Joe's, Justin, and trying to keep up with parties and appearances at school, I was so stressed out. I don't even miss cheer that much, to be honest. It is such a popularity contest, and it was so draining.

I jumped at the feeling of Harry's arm snaking around my waist, bringing me slightly closer to his side. I was caught off guard at first, but the way butterflies spew off in my stomach and my cheeks going red and slightly tingled reminded me of when I first started dating Justin.

That was the first tell-tale sign of having a crush.

I embraced the feeling of Harry's arm around me, placing the side of my head in the crook of his neck.

Maya winks at me from across the table, and I send her back a smile and breathe out a weak laugh.

"How is your leg Harry?" Don asks.

Harry's fingers dance around the side of my hip. "It's good. No pain or anything for now, and I hope it stays that way for the season."

"Blair," Tristan spoke. "Yo, Long time no fucking see. Where the hell have you been!"

I laugh at his greeting. "Around I guess."

"Blair, remember those shrooms we did with Harry and Jacob sophomore year at Gabe's Party?" Tristian brings up.

"Yep. I'm pretty sure Harry fell into the pool that night," I giggle, looking up at Harry.

He groans. "Okay, I was high out of my fucking mind. Can we not bring that up."

"You single?"Jacob asked.  "You still with that Justin kid?"

I shake my head. "Nope, we broke up at the end of junior year, been single all summer."

Levi rolls his eyes jokingly. "Uhhh, who's gonna tell him," he says, pointing a finger at Harry. "If you are single, you might want to tell this guy. I think Styles believes he is your boyfriend the way he is all over you."

Harry becomes flustered, and his face falls red from embarrassment. "Alright, all of you shut up about me."

The conversation continues, and it feels like I have been with these guys forever. We reminisced about our old party days. Jacob brought up the time I got so drunk and threw up on his dad's boat, which I don't remember probably because of how wasted I was.

Gabe also asked me why I quit the cheer team. I just gave him the short answer and told him all my extracurricular activities were piling up.

At one point, the conversation ended up on my Dad, and who he says the worst player is. No one would believe me when I told them I didn't know, even though I knew it was Harry.  Levi swears it's some freshman named Dylan who made varsity soccer on a fluke, but I didn't even know who that was.

Our waitress finally came up to us. I recognized her as Candice. She got hired about a week ago, and I already liked her. We both complained about our overly affectionate boss on our breaks.

She waved at me before introducing herself to the table.

While Candice went around taking orders, Harry whispered in my ear, "How do those burgers sound."

I smile up at him. "Fuck yes."

Maya, Harry, and I ended up in deep conversation about our science teacher, Mr.Gunnerson, an old crazy nerd. While I was too lost in conversation with Maya, Harry's arm moves from my waist to my thigh, rubbing the exposed skin that my jean shorts did not cover.

A whirlwind of emotions hit me when I first felt Harry's touch on my thigh. I tensed up at first, not really sure what he was planning to do. When his hand just settled on my thigh, rubbing up and down, I was able to settle my emotions. I liked having Harry's hands on my body. It was a constant reminder that he was right beside me. Harry and I were sitting extremely close to one another, our sides practically overlapping. I really loved the attention he was giving me, and I wish I could just whisk him away and throw myself at him.

Was I ready to throw myself at him?

Absolutely not.

But my hormones were getting the best of me, and what was once innocent butterflies in my stomach was now a raging fire in the pit of my stomach, damp panties, a flushed face, and short isolated breaths.

The boy wasn't even touching me in a heavy sexual manner, but I was already all hot and bothered for him.

After I finished my food, I quickly excused myself to the bathroom needing a second before I jumped Harry's bones in front of everyone at the table.

When I got to the bathroom, I splashed a bit of cold water on my face hoping to cool down a bit.

"B!" A voice yells.

I turn around from the sink to see two cheerleaders whose names I can't really remember and Megan standing directly behind them.

"So I see you are wearing Harry's letterman?" The brown-haired one, whose name I think is Kacey.

My eyes dart downwards, a nervous habit, before answering her question.

"Harry just gave it to me because I was cold."

"So, how was the sex?" She curiously asks me. "I tried to fuck him this summer, but he was with some other girl at the time."

My jaw sets, and I can't help but feel a sting of jealousy.

"I didn't have sex with him. Harry is my friend."

"Please, we saw him all over you at dinner tonight." Kacey presses.

Megan places her hand on Kacy's shoulder and reprimands her in a whispering tone. "Can we just leave, please?"

Kacy scoffs. "Hell no! We all know you were Justin's whore anyways. What are you doing Blair hmmm? Trying to fuck every soccer player in the county?"

I was tired of being walked all over.

Fuck this.

I took a few steps up to Kacey, so I was a couple of inches away from my face. "First of all, I didn't fuck Harry, and even if I did, it would be none of your fucking business. Secondly, I'm no one's whore. Even if I did fuck every guy in this county, it would be none of your damn business Kacey!"

Once I finished my rant, I was about to storm out the bathroom when Kacey spoke up again.

"My name is Kelly."

"Oh wow. I don't care." I spit back, slamming the door.

High school is the most dramatic fucking place ever.

What was the point of that? My sex like, which is non-existent, is no one's business. I wasn't even surprised when Megan didn't stand up for me. She has always cared way too much about popularity and appearances.

I know Kelly is only lashing out because I have been hanging out with Harry, and she is jealous, but I'm just tired of being caught up in drama when it's the one thing I have done my best to avoid. I wish high school could be a place where everyone would mind their damn business, but this is Eastwood Highschool, and everyone here feeds off of drama, drugs, and partying.

I stormed out of the bathroom, and Harry was about to say something, but when his eyes set on me, he acknowledged the annoyed expression on my face.

"Peaches, you good?"

I grab my bag from the booth, searching for my card to pay the bill. I just want to leave Joe's as fast as possible.

"I'm fine. Where is the check?"

Harry sends me a look. "I paid it. Are you sure you are okay?"

I tilt my head looking up at him with a frown. "You didn't have to do that, Harry. We could have at least split it."

"It's not a big deal," he reassures me. "Let's get out of here."

Everyone walks outside to their cars, and I frequently forget how rich the kids who go to Eastwood are. Gabe and Maya have walked into some fancy BMW, and Levi speeds off in a Mercedes.

I don't even have a car yet. Sometimes I drive my mom's Toyota Camry on the weekends when she doesn't have work, but I have been saving up for a car, and hopefully, by the end of the year, I could afford my own.

Harry and I got in his car, and he placed his hand instantly on my thigh, backing out of his parking spot.

Before we could pull out of the lot, Maya, who is in the passenger seat of the Gabes car, rolls down her window and calls out, "If you two are going to have sex, send us an invite!"

The palm of my hand slaps my mouth in shock at Maya's bluntness.

Harry speeds off before Maya could let anything more vulgar come out of my mouth.

"You okay, Blair? You seemed a little distressed coming out of the bathroom." Harry asked, still focused on the road.

I sigh."Yeah, I had a bit of a run-in with some girls from the cheer team. They called me Justins whore, and they thought I was fucking you."

Harry frowns and looks annoyed by my words. "I'm sorry. I knew that you wearing my jacket would bring some attention to you, but I didn't think anyone would have the balls to say it to my face. Also, I'm sorry what they said to you about Justin."

"It's okay. I'm used to the rumors. Everyone thought I was fucking him even though I wasn't."

He snaps his head towards me with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

I laugh. "Yeah, literally all rumors. He tried fingering me a couple times, but it never felt good, and I never came, hence why I thought my clit was broken. A few heated make-out sessions and I gave him a handjob once in his car, but that was it."

Harry snorts. "During our all star-game, he literally told us he fucked you. What a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, he really was," I mumble out.

Harry notices my change in tone because once he pulls up into my driveway, he puts the car in park and turns towards me.

"Are you a virgin, Blair?"

Did he not like the fact I was a virgin? I know Harry was a super experienced guy when it came to sex, and maybe he wasn't into virgins.

"It's not a bad thing." He quickly reassures me.

"Yes, I have never had sex before. I usually don't do what we did the other night at Gabe's party," I trail off with my voice. "But I really liked it."

My confession makes my heart thunder, and my throat goes dry. I never got to tell him how much I enjoyed that night. When it came to Harry, I had this internal war with my brain telling me to leave him alone but my hormones telling me to let myself go.

Harry brings his other hand to my thigh, rubbing up and down and looking me in the eyes.

"Well, there is more of that where it came from Peaches. If you want it."

We stare into each other's eyes for the briefest of seconds. The tension between us was suffocating, and I wanted him to make a move so badly.

"Harry," I softly whisper.

"Fuck it." He whispered, searching for approval.

I slowly nodded my head, and that was all he needed for him to attach his lips to mine.

[chicagocityfclanspromoblog]

Alice Colt → Kathryn Newton  → Hunter

→ Basic Information

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: April 20th

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Religion: Irreligion

Like Alice? Consider taking her in our Hunter Giveaway Event! We will be waiving applications para samples, personalities and histories requirements for all canon hunters. Just send in the first and last name of the hunter(s) you would like to the main.

→ Her Personality (one to two paragraphs)

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Senior Hunter

Scars: Alice is missing her left arm due to an attack by an animal shifter

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Norse Mythology and Rebuilding Motorcycles

Two Dislikes: Pity and Alcohol

Two Fears: Public Speaking and Bleeding Out

Two Hobbies: Archery (One Armed) and Cross Country Motorcycling

Three Positive Traits: Determined, Resourceful, Graceful

Three Negative Traits: Cruel, Antisocial, Unyielding

→ Her Connections Parent Names:

Bryce Colt (Father): Alice has always wanted to impress her dad. It’s what she’s worked towards in all her training with Blaine. She’s heard of the transcontinental road trips he took killing swarms of supernaturals with his brothers. As well as his trip with Colin and Blaine to Italy, and she wants in on one. Bryce still isn’t sure she is ready with only one arm, so she works everyday to prove that she is.

Brittney Colt (Mother): Brittney tried to be a doting mother to Alice, but that was never something she wanted. She always gravitated towards Blaine and her dad, even as a toddler. When Alice was the youngest Colt to kill on a hunt, she knew that she wasn’t really getting another sweet little girl.

Sibling Names:

Blaine Colt (Half-Brother): Blaine has been the biggest teacher in her journey to becoming a hunter. He pushes her harder and she’s all the better for it. They’re like two peas in a pod and she has found herself modeling many of her choices after his.

Elle Colt (Half-Sister): Elle and Alice never really hit it off. Elle was always too much like Amy, and spent most of her time with her anyway. Alice doesn’t think they’d have a lot in common, though she’s always wanted a close relationship with Elle.

Colin Colt (Half-Brother): Alice gets along well with Colin, but he still doesn’t treat her like he did before she lost her arm. His incessant need to take care of people was only holding her back, so she started distancing herself from him.

Amy Colt (Sister): Alice doesn’t really have a lot in common with Amy. Amy likes to drink, and flirt and party, all of which hold no appeal to Alice. She’s still fierce in a fight, and the only sibling to trust Alice on a motorcycle enough to ride behind her.

Casper Colt (Brother): She thinks Casper is weak. Definitely weaker than her mom, and maybe weaker than Hailey. He just doesn’t get what it means to be a Colt.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

None

Platonic Connections:

Megan Colt (Cousin): Alice and Megan get along well, and are paired up by Elle a lot when going hunting. Megan can be harsh and cruel and doesn’t hold Alice back.

Iris Colt (Cousin): Alice and Iris have only been on a few missions together, but they didn’t ever really hit it off. It’s just as well, as Iris will soon be married off to a Stone and rarely around.

Hailey Colt (Cousin): Alice has heard stories about Hailey’s skills in the field, and she can sympathize with not being able to do what you love. They don’t really talk, but Alice respects her.

Imani Anderson (Sister-In-Law): Alice really likes Imani. She’s strong and maybe even a better hunter than Blaine. During her recovery, she never pitied her and only helped her regain and push past her previous skills.

Helena Stone (Friend): Helena is as ruthless as she is. One of the most capable and deadly Stones, she can hunt almost as well as Alice. Unfortunately she doesn’t get to go on as many missions since James keeps a close eye on all the Stones.

Raven Jenkins (Friend): Raven is always creative with her kills, but she has too much of a heart. Alice is trying to get her experience how good it feels to just let go and give into the beauty of a kill.

Marquis Anderson (Friend): Marquis has a lot of skills, but he doesn’t seem interested in anything other than wanting to be away from his family as much as possible. He’s good for muscles and bagging larger prey.

Hostile Connections:

Chris Bialar (Hate): Even if she doesn’t know the exact person who bit her arm off, she knows who runs the clan in Chicago. She has taken up a habit of stalking around what she believes is the cat’s territory and scaring whoever she can. The ultimate prize will be Bialar himself.

Clara Fields (Hate): Alice has taken to skulking around the Fields Hotel to try and find a heavy to skin. Security has had her removed from the back and premises multiple times.

D.W. Colt (Suspicious of): Alice saw D.W. remove her ring right after Colin gave it to her. She was rubbing the skin around her finger and it looked burned. She knows D.W. saw her, but neither has said anything.

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

[gamergirl929]

Cruel Comments (USWNT x Reader)

A/N: After some harsh comments are made on social media, the reader is comforted by her two appointed team moms, Alex Morgan and Kelley O’Hara. 

You groan as you hide your head beneath the hotel room’s pillow, phone still in hand as you shove it beneath the pillow, scrolling through the comments posted under the announcement that you would be be starting in your third game with the USWNT.

You’d only been with the team for a short amount of time, but you’d been named as the baby of the team, which resulted in everyone coddling you, especially your appointed team moms Kelley O’Hara and Alex Morgan.  

Even after you’d missed an important goal in your second USWNT career game, they were still there for you to cheer you up, but now you were alone in your hotel room, no one to cheer you up as you scrolled through the comments beneath the announcement made on Twitter.  

“Seriously? She’s starting? I could’ve gotten that goal and I’ve never played soccer.”  

“Jill should’ve benched her ass after that missed goal against Canada, give someone else a shot, someone who deserves it!”  

That comment particularly hurt, so much so that tears were dampening the sheets beneath you, though your heart ached you continued to scroll through the comments.  

“If there’s anyone who didn’t deserve a call up in the NWSL it was Y/N.”  

“I mean come on seriously, did Jill not watch her NWSL games? Someone, anyone else would’ve been a better choice.”  

You flip the phone over, hiding the screen from your view as you cry into the sheets beneath you.  

The USWNT fans could be cruel, but you never imagined they could be this cruel.  

You close your eyes tightly, the tears flowing as you think of each and every comment, knowing there were even more than the ones you had read.  

Eventually, your body gives in to its exhaustion and you fall fast asleep, tears still in your eyes and slipping down your cheeks as sleep takes you.  

                                                           ***

“Where’s Y/N?” Kelley asks as she glances around the table and Rose frowns.  

“She said she’d be down in a few minutes, but that was after I left the room nearly an hour ago.” Rose’s frown deepens.  

Everyone at the table shares a glance before Megan drops down into an empty seat.  

“Have you seen these comments on USNWT Twitter’s recent post?” She asks as she holds the phone out to Alex, her eyes widening as she reads the few comments she can see on Megan’s screen, each and every one tearing Y/N down in some way, shape or form.  

“Jesus.” Christen mumbles and Tobin frowns.  

“Damn.”  

“Seriously, what is wrong with these people?” Ashlyn grumbles and Ali shakes her head sadly.  

“Y/N is such a sweetheart; I hope she hasn’t seen these comments...”  

Alex glances at Kelley who is looking at her own screen with a frown.  

“Maybe we should go check on her?” Alex says and Kelley glances up, nodding before she and Alex move to stand.  

“We’ll be right back; can we have your keycard?” Kelley asks Rose who nods and passes her the bit of plastic.  

Wordlessly, Alex and Kelley head towards the elevator.  

“I hope she’s okay.” Alex frowns and Kelley nods.  

“If not, I’m literally going to kill someone.” She growls and Alex snorts.  

“I’m sure there are 20 other women who will be happy to help us hide the body.” 

                                                           ***

Alex and Kelley both frown when they see you still in bed, your head hidden under your pillow.  

“Y/N?” Alex whispers as she moves towards the bed, but when you don’t reply she takes the pillow off of your head and rolls you over.  

“Awww, kid.” Kelley whispers when she sees the tear tracks leading down your cheeks.  

Alex grabs your phone and the second she opens it; is greeted to the very page that Megan had shown her at the table.  

She shows the phone to Kelley who frowns before slipping into the bed beside you.  

Alex slips in on the other side of you, effectively making you the innards of a Kellex sandwich.  

Wordlessly and without waking you, they slip their arms around you, their eyes closing as the two of them hold you close.  

You mumble softly in your sleep and Alex and Kelley share a glance, both smiling.  

Alex sends a quick text to the others, before slipping her arms back around you, and around Kelley.  

Your eyes eventually flutter open, your brow furrowing when you realize there are multiple arms around you.  

“Ummmm...?” You hum, turning and smiling softly when you realize not only Alex Morgan, but also Kelley O’Hara are on either side of you, their arms wrapped gently around you.  

“Hey sleepyhead.” Alex smiles as she tucks a loose stand of hair behind your ear.  

“What are you guys doing here?” You ask with a yawn and Kelley smiles as she tightens her hold on you.  

“Taking care of our kid.” She whispers and you roll your eyes, though you can’t help but smile.  

“We saw the comments...” Alex whispers and you frown, remembering the comments you’d been reading before you fell asleep.  

“Screw those assholes.” Kelley growls and you snort as she snuggles into your side.  

“Seriously Y/N, some fans are just like that.” Alex frowns sadly and you smile as she snuggles into your other side.  

“We love you, and we’re going to protect you, no matter what.” Alex whispers and Kelley smirks.  

“Even if it means going to prison.”  

Alex shakes her head.  

“No, no going to prison.”  

“Why not?” The defender huffs and Alex rolls her eyes.  

“You wouldn’t make it one day in prison.”  

“Wait, what do you mean by that? Of course I would!”  

You close your eyes, grinning as the two women bicker back and forth, their arms still wrapped tightly around you.  

It’s then you realize that despite the comments from the fans, the only thing that mattered to you was not only the team that was always at your side, but that you also did your best and gave it your all, which you always did.  

Your face splits in half and you beam as you tune back in to the conversation going on between the two USWNT veterans.

“Kelley, you do not know how to make a shank.” Alex scoffs and Kelley scoffs louder before she sits up.  

“Yes! I do!”  

Alex sits up too and they continue their bickering session, while in the middle of them, you can’t help but burst out laughing.

The bickering session between the two suddenly stops and they share a glance before looking down at you and grinning.

Your laughter is contagious which leads to the two women laughing as you sit up and wrap your arms around the two of them.  

The laughter eventually subsides and you tighten your hold on the pair.  

“I love you guys.” You whisper, earning a beaming smile from both Kelley and Alex who wrap their arms tightly around not only you, but each other.  

“We love you too.” They whisper at the same time and you close your eyes.  

As long as you had these two in your life, you didn’t have to worry about the comments on social media, all that mattered was your love for soccer, and your team who was there for you every step of the way, especially the two women on either side of you.  

“So, you know how to make a shank?” You ask with a snort and Kelley grins while Alex rolls her eyes.  

“Yeah!”  

“No, she doesn’t.”  

And with that the pair begin bickering like an old married couple yet again while you sit in the middle, watching the scene unfold with a grin.  

[67-chevy-baby]

Remedy

Pairing - Jared x Reader

Tags - Slight angst, FLUFFFFFF, language, and I think that’s it.

Word Count -  2,664

Beta - @winecatsandpizza​

Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly

The Song I Chose - Off My Mind by Radio Company

Written for - @saxxxology​’s Vol 1 Writing Challenge

A/N - So, I couldn’t find much about Jared’s sister. I don’t think she’s married, but just so y’all know I made up Trent, Max, and Macee. Also, there may be a part 2 to this. It’s my first Jared fic, and I’m not sure I write him well. At any rate, I hope y’all enjoy it, and I especially hope you like this Saxxy. I really tried to make this good. :) 

To say you’d become a failure to your parents was an understatement. 

From the moment you dropped out of college to pursue your real dream, they’d cut all ties with you. Honestly, it didn’t come as a surprise considering all they seemed to care about was what they wanted you to succeed in. If it didn’t benefit them, then they weren’t interested.

Finally realizing their true intentions was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You packed what little belongings you had and left for Texas, leaving your home-town in Ohio behind in the rearview mirror. The beat-to-hell car you inherited lasted you until the outskirts of Dallas, so you decided to hole up in a hotel with the last bit of savings you had. 

After checking in and grabbing some snacks from the vending machine in the lobby, you headed to your room and splayed out on the bed. You scrolled through local jobs as you munched on a Snickers bar. Nothing really jumped out at you, but this wasn’t a time in your life where it was rational to be picky. If you were going to pursue becoming a singer, then you needed some cash to get you started. 

Nothing really piqued your interest around Dallas, so you decided to span your search further. After an hour of sifting through different job opportunities, you finally came across one that caught your eye. 

Full-Time Nanny in Avery Ranch Start Date: Mid-January 2020 Children ages: 5 and 2 months Hours/Rate: M-F 7:30am-5pm - $18/hr Serious Inquiries Only: (512)586-2463

Other than singing, babysitting your sister’s kids was something else you thoroughly enjoyed. Her husband had cheated on her, and they divorced soon after so you became a constant in their lives. Not that you weren’t before, but since you were a full-time student at the time you often watched them during your off time. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you called the number and waited. By the third ring, you were starting to get discouraged but then a woman’s cheerful voice answered. 

“Hello?” 

Talking on the phone was never a strong suit of yours. Especially not knowing who was on the other end, it always gave you anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you stammered out a response. 

“Um, h-hi. My name’s Y/N and I saw your add about the Nanny position. I’d like to apply if it’s still available.” 

You heard the woman clear her throat and some rustling before she came back on the line. 

“Hi, Y/N! My name's Megan. Yes, the position is still available! Can you come over tomorrow at noon? My husband and I would like to meet over coffee to get to know you a bit better before we introduce you to the children.” 

Well, you weren’t expecting that, but the desperate situation you were in won over the butterflies fluttering against your abdomen. 

“Y-Yeah! I can do that!” 

The warmth in the woman’s response was evident and it eased any doubts you had bouncing around in your head. 

“Great! We’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. I’ll text you the address and feel free to wear something comfortable. Lord knows with two kids I won't be wearing my best dress."

You bid her goodbye and sighed into your pillow. Despite uprooting your life merely a day ago, things were starting to come together, and for once, you couldn't be happier. 

--------------------------------------------

Jared sighed as he walked through the airport. Another season of Supernatural wrapped and he was finally on his home turf again. The familiarity of the Texas air nipped his bare skin as he headed for the awaiting taxi. Tonight, he'd rest up and then tomorrow he'd go and see his siblings. 

The ride to his studio apartment was short, but it allowed him to send a few texts and emails anyway. He tipped the cab driver generously and took the elevator up to his floor. 

His apartment wasn't much, but it was enough for him. The entry area was small, bearing a hook on the wall to hang his keys, a closet for his coat and shoes, and a couple of light switches. Just off to the left was the living room. He had a black leather sectional and a nice entertainment center where he could watch the latest Cowboys game comfortably. The kitchen wasn't enormous, but he didn't need it to be. It had everything he needed and all the appliances were new enough. His bedroom was just the way he left it, his king-size bed unmade and his laundry in the basket by the bathroom door. 

Jared tossed his suitcase on the bed and padded to the kitchen for a beer. He'd start laundry tomorrow. It wasn't like he had anyone to impress or anything. Ever since Supernatural gained its popularity, he'd shied away from serious relationships because he barely had time for himself let alone a significant other. Settling into the couch, he flipped through the channels before stopping on the movie Die Hard, one of his favorite Christmas movies. Before he knew it, he'd dozed off, his hard work and jet lag finally catching up to him.

-------------------------------------------------

You groaned and shut off your alarm. How was it already 6 AM? Forcing yourself to emerge from your warm blanket cocoon, you padded to the bathroom praying a hot shower would wake you up. Mornings were far from your favorite thing, and if you were going to meet with your potential employer then you needed to be somewhat presentable. 

Once you were dressed and had some sustenance, you wore a simple pair of jeans and a comfortable top. Your hair fell neatly at your shoulders and once you applied a small amount of makeup, you looked less like a zombie than you imagined. Remembering to grab your card key, you slid on your flats and headed to the address that Megan had texted you. 

The drive was nearly three hours, but you didn't mind. It allowed you to decompress and listen to your favorite Spotify playlist. Luckily, the rental car you managed to get had Bluetooth, otherwise you'd have to deal with the local stations. 

Finally, you pulled into the driveway and allowed yourself to take a few deep breaths. The house was pretty big, two-story with a two-car garage. The yard was well kept and you could see the faint outlines of playground equipment down the street. Overall, it looked to be a nice, quiet neighborhood. 

Crisp air fanned your face as you walked to the front door. A couple knocks later you were face to face with a sweet-looking young woman. She smiled warmly at you before inviting you inside. 

"Hi! You must be Y/N. It's so good to meet you." 

Smiling back at her, you shook her hand and then noticed a taller figure walk up behind her. He nodded at you and wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist. 

“I’m her husband, Trent. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.”

You followed them inside and gasped as they led you into what had to be their living room. Your eyes wandered and marveled at how cozy and elegant everything looked. Not that it mattered to you, but you couldn’t help but think this couple had a lot of money. 

“You have a beautiful home, Mr. and Mrs. …” 

It only just hit you that you didn’t know their last name. Megan brought you a cup of some wonderful smelling coffee and sat down on the love seat across from you. 

“Stevenson. Our last name is Stevenson. Thank you for your kind words. We moved here a little over a year ago so I could be closer to my niece.” 

You nodded and moaned happily at the taste of the coffee. This was one of the many things you enjoyed in life, a nice hot cup of coffee.

“Oh, does your family live close? That’s always nice, having family that lives close by. I used to watch my older sister’s kids all the time while she worked. They’re in school full-time now, so that’s why I decided to move here to hopefully pursue my dream.” 

It amazed you that you felt this comfortable around the Stevenson’s so quickly. Normally, your anxiety would get the better of you and it’d be like pulling teeth to get you to share personal things about your life. Megan nodded and scooted over to allow room for Trent to sit by her. 

“Yes, one of my older brother’s lives about fifteen minutes from here. He’s not home often though due to his job. He’s an actor and really only gets time off during the summer and the holidays. My other older brother lives about forty-five minutes from here. He’s an Orthopedic surgeon.” 

“Wow.” You breathed. “That’s really awesome! I have always wanted to be a singer, but my love of kids made me want to wait a little longer to try and become successful at it. I probably would have had kids of my own by now if I was fortunate in the relationship department. I seem to always find the ones who are either already married or live in their Mom’s basement.” The three of you shared a laugh and you watched as Trent scrolled through his phone. 

“This is our son, Max. He just turned five about a month ago, and in his lap is our two-month-old daughter Macee.”

You looked at them both in awe. “They’re beautiful! Max sure looks like he loves Macee a lot.” Just as you handed Trent his phone back, a small voice sounded from the foot of the stairs. 

“Mommy? I can’t sweep…”

The three of you looked to see little Max standing with his teddy bear and rubbing his eyes. Megan opened her arms and set him on her lap, pressing her lips to his forehead. 

“Hey, baby. You can sit with Mommy while we talk to miss Y/N.”

Your ears perked up at her words. Was she giving you the job? Both her and Trent shared a look and you could tell they were having a wordless conversation. Finally, Megan turned and gave you an excited smile. 

“Y/N, if you’re up for it, Trent and I would love to have you as our Nanny. You seem very attentive and dependable. We have a spare room that you can stay in for the time being, and you’ll have your own bathroom.” 

“Thank you both so much! I can’t wait to work with you and get to know your adorable children. When would you like me to start?”

Megan gave you a folder with a few papers in it to go over. 

“These are just a few more things about us and the kids that I want you to know. You can bring your things over tomorrow night and then on Monday you can start.”

You bid Trent and Megan goodbye and headed back to your hotel. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You’d only been here a short time and you had a place to stay and a job. Now all you needed to get was a car and you’d better off than you were before you started your journey. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of his phone’s text tone woke Jared from his slumber. He typed a quick response to his sister and stretched his tired muscles. After taking a quick shower and getting dressed he grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door. 

His sister said to be at her house in a couple of hours, but he didn’t see the harm in getting there early. It would give him time to play with Max and Macee for a little while. The drive there wasn’t very long, and soon he was walking up the sidewalk to their front door. 

He let himself in and could saw his sister in the back yard playing with the kids. Before he could head through the house out the back door, something caught his attention. A sweet melodic voice flowed through the upstairs hallway that made his heartbeat quicken. He moved so he could see better and caught sight of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She had long brown hair that waved a bit at the ends, was probably about five foot one, and her voice was mesmerizing. 

He watched as she cleaned the kids’ playroom, her hips shimmying to the music she was listening to. It was then that he recognized the song she was singing. It was one of the songs from Jensen’s new album! Standing in the foyer, he let himself listen to you a bit longer.

Oh, and how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

You can only stay awake so long

While deciding what is true

I lean in for a kiss upon your shoulder

Realize it wouldn’t do, not with you

So, how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

Unbeknownst to him, his sister was watching him watch her, the biggest smirk on her face knowing that you had caught her brother’s eye. 

“Her name’s Y/N, and she’s Trent and I’s nanny.”

Jared whirled around to meet his sister’s knowing gaze. He knew he’d been caught staring and was sure he was blushing furiously. 

“That’s ah… I’m uh… glad you found someone suitable for the kids, Meg. I bet she’s great.”

“Uh-huh… I haven’t seen you look at someone like that since… well, since ever really. You like her.”

“What?! That’s… I mean… I don’t even know her. I just… her singing was um… really good!”

By now, you had finished cleaning the playroom and was prepared to relieve Megan so she could go out with her family. You heard her talking to someone and you assumed it was Trent. 

“Hey, Megan! I finished cleaning the pla-” 

Your words were caught in your throat as you looked down into the foyer. There, standing mere feet from you was your celebrity crush since you saw him on Gilmore Girls. Jared Padalecki. It took only a moment for things to click in your brain and you deduced that he and Megan were siblings. 

“Y/N, this is one of my older brother’s Jared, Jared this is Y/N.” 

“H-Hi…” You squeaked. He gave you a boyish grin and you forgot how to breathe. “I’m uh… just going to get a few things from my room…” 

Once you were behind the closed door, you let out a shaky breath. How in the fuck did you manage to get a job at Jared Padalecki’s sister’s house?! Taking a deep breath you grabbed the Tonka set you bought Max and headed downstairs to the great room to play with him and Macee. Jared was in the kitchen with Megan, and you were lucky enough to be immensely distracted by Max to hear what they were saying. 

“I’m telling you Jare, you should ask her out! I give her weekends off, and I don’t think she knows anyone here but us. I think it would be nice to show her around.”

Jared rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know Megan… I just met he-”

“Oh cut the crap, Jared. You can make all the excuses you want, but you and I both know you like her. C’mon! Take a chance! She’s cute and you’re single. If you keep waiting around for the right person, then who knows how long you’ll be waiting?”

Jared contemplated his sister’s words as he eyed you through the kitchen. Who was he kidding? Megan was right. He sighed and swallowed thickly as he headed into the Great room. 

“Here goes nothing…”

[cheerfulmelancholies]

Medical Mechanical Ch. 6

Diana came to a stop and looked around. This was it: the vacant grocery store. Ethan was nowhere in sight. She was about to text him when he skidded to a stop beside her on his own bike. She lurched sideways at the scare and stumbled over her bicycle.

"Don't do that!" She brushed herself off before going over to pick up her bike. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

"Sorry, I was getting a little too into the secretive thing." He brushed some of his hair from his face. "So your dad's good?"

"So far. He's as tired as he ever but otherwise fine. What about your mom?"

"She's... getting there. She isn't as joyous as she was yesterday but she's still acting a little funny. I've been wondering if maybe they gave her something and it's just gotta wear off."

"But why would they get her hopped up on happy pills? Do you think they're using them as lab rats?" She pushed the image of her father strapped to a table out of her mind.

Ethan shrugged. "I still couldn't find much info on them. Every single time I tried to ask her she'd just brush me off. But this is about the building."

Her eyes widened. "Yeah. What'd you find there, aside from a lack of doors?"

He motioned for her to follow him and they sat against the empty store, bikes propped up beside them. "Like I said, they don't have any big entryway into that place."

"Maybe it's underground," she said, recalling her previous reasoning.

"Maybe, but I didn't see anything overly obvious for that either. And those guards." He shuddered. "They were actually aiming for me."

"They were trying to kill you?"

"No. They were shooting tranq darts at me. One of them nicked my arm." He pulled the sleeve of his T-shirt up and showed her the scratch. "I don't know what those things are supposed to down but I'm thinking they're for a damn bear. I only got scratched and that was enough to put me out of it. Next thing I knew I was tumbling down the hill. One of them tried to tackle me but I shook them off."

"You're lucky you made it out of there."

"Yeah. I spent the rest of the day worried they'd try and finish the job."

"They probably would've just turned you in to the police or something." The argument died before it left her lips. The look on Ethan's face would've killed it anyway.

"Tranquillizers are a bit extreme, don't you think? I didn't even get past the fence; I don't think that constitutes as reasonable force."

"This is so messed up," she sighed, bringing her knees to her chest. "You've got me wondering if my father's gonna get brainwashed or something. Is there anything else you noticed?"

"Actually, yeah. I didn't recognize any of the guards. This is a small town, it shouldn't be that hard. I don't think they live here."

"You think they come from out of town?" She was trying to think of any other possibility. It wasn't like they would live inside the facility.

"I wouldn't know. I've never watched to see when they rotated and where they went." He hummed. "You know what would show that?"

"Asking your mom and my dad?" This entire thing was starting to make her skin crawl. Sure, she never did agree with the company's ways or her father's sudden devotion to them, but she'd never been big on conspiracies. She thought it was unusual, bizarre even, but what Ethan was telling her was downright creepy.

He shook his head. Face serious, he said, "We're gonna have to find out for ourselves. My mom's still out of it and your father is too tight-lipped."

"What do you have in mind, exactly? A stakeout? They tried to take you down; I don't think they'll screw it up the next time."

"Maybe we can just ask around," he said, none too keen on being shot at again. "There's something freaky going on though. They're doing something to people in there, or at to least our parents."

Diana remained silent.

"Something wrong?" He feared she might back out. All things considered, he wouldn't blame her. It would be disappointing though. He'd miss the companionship while his mother was out of her mind.

Diana shook her head before turning to face him. "Look, I know you wanna get to the bottom of this and all but I have to ask you something."

"Sure."

"What really made you start talking to me?" She watched his eyebrows go up. He seemed confused. "You've never made an effort to speak to me before." They shared three of the same classes and had known of each other's existence since the beginning of high school. They suffered from all the same abuse. Both of their lives were heavily affected by Medical Mechanical. Up until now, Ethan had done little more than give her small, reassuring smiles and the occasional defense from Megan and her goons.

Ethan paused for a minute to form his response. He almost outright said it before thinking better. "Listen, I... It's not that I didn't care about you and wasn't interested in talking. It's just that... Well, you just always seemed a bit... unapproachable."

"Unapproachable?"

"You always seemed to hold everybody at arm's length, so I always stayed around your comfort zone."

"What changed your mind?"

"We're pretty similar. Your dad works for MM, like my mom, and we're both freaks of nature." His eyes lit up. "I figured that if anyone would be understanding in this, it'd be you. I wasn't wrong, was I?" He had his answer before she ever opened her mouth.

"That's the second time your dumb luck has saved your life," she said with a smile.

"What about you though? You never really approached me either."

"You always looked like you wanted to be left alone. You held everybody at arm's length too. I was too nervous, I guess." She wanted to kick herself for blushing. She was being too obvious.

Ethan either didn't notice or didn't care, as he stood and stretched. "That settles it," he said, cracking his back. "We're in this together now."

"So what's next?" She was thankful for the distraction.

"Well, we've got our work cut out for us in research. There's no way our parents will ever tell us anything and I don't think those guards will give me a tour if I show up on their doorstep and ask."

"So what's the plan?"

"Let's try and do some digging ourselves, ask around and stuff."

"Lead the way," she said, grabbing her bike.

They both rode off, maintaining a close distance and talking along the way.

[mustangshelby04]

Boston Boy - Marriage Advice

This is just me being a little catty towards a certain ex while giving you guys more looks at our favorite couple’s married life.

Kate played another round of peek-a-boo with her and Chris’ nine-month-old daughter.  They were in LA for the premiere of Gifted, Chris’ movie that he had been filming when he and Kate met.  He had been super nostalgic over this press tour.  When he had filmed Ellen the day before, he had actually opened up to her about what it was like being a newlywed and new father to their daughter.  It had made Kate tear up.

Her excitement was through the roof for today, though.  After the premiere, she and Chris were taking Madison over to Twitch and Allison’s house for dinner.  Twitch had remembered their talk from the year before and had invited them as soon as they had walked into the studio.

“Kate, we need to get you dressed and finished, babe.” Jenn said, walking over to Kate and making faces at Madison.

“Ok.” Her hair was up in rollers, but her makeup had been done already. “Mom!”

“On it!” Helena came in and took Kate’s seat while her daughter kissed Madison’s cheek and went back to the master bedroom.

Chris was working on tying his tie and Kate nodded appreciatively. “That suit is going to look so good on you, baby.” She said.

“Not half as good as you will in that dress.” He winked and she grinned.  Jenn made a gagging sound as she grinned at the couple and got to work on Kate’s hair. “Seriously, Jenn, this dress is gorgeous.” Chris ran a hand over the forest green fabric of the A-line, deep V-neck dress with a beautiful train and a high slit.

“I thought it would accentuate her hourglass figure and show off her amazing shoulders and legs.” Jenn said. “Seriously, Kate, you have amazing shoulders and legs.”

“Thank you.” Kate said, blushing. “What shoes did you choose?”

“The nude Filamenta strappy Louboutin sandals.” 

“I love you.”

“You get to keep them.”

“Oh my god, marry me?”

Jenn laughed as Chris whipped around. “Um….” He held his hands out in a clear what-the-fuck motion.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be a legal marriage, but Jenn and I are going to have the ceremony.  I need to lock her down for life.”

“I’d be honored, babe.” Jenn said.

“Six months in and she’s already moving on to a second marriage.” Chris muttered playfully.

“Ok, go finish getting dressed out there so I can finish getting your wife ready.”

Thirty minutes later, Kate walked out looking like an old Hollywood goddess.  She had added some baby-lights to her hair recently to make it a tad bit blonder at Jenn’s insistence.  She had been right, of course.  The baby-lights looked really good with her porcelain skin and it really popped with the long beach waves that Jenn had done with her hair tonight.  

Chris let out a long, low whistle when he saw her.  He was holding Madison and looked at the baby with a grin. “Your mom looks gorgeous, huh?”

“I can agree with that assessment.” Helena said, situating her daughter’s train. “But I’ve always thought that.”

Megan walked into the room from Chris’ office. “Good.  We need to get moving.  We’re going to be running late if we don’t leave now.”

“That was my fault.” Kate said. “I wanted to feed Maddie before we left.”

“It’s ok.” Megan made a beeline for the door.

“Mom….”

“We’ll be fine here.” Helena said, taking Madison from Chris. “I’ll see you later.  Have fun.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

The premiere for Gifted wasn’t nearly as large as the Civil War premiere.  It was much more chill in comparison.  Kate felt a lot more at ease and she and Chris posed happily together.  The press asked Chris questions about his marriage and baby, even directing questions at Kate herself.  Megan was great at helping Kate navigate the press.  They stood together while Chris took pictures with the cast and director.

“Is that Jenny Slate?” Kate asked Megan.

“In the floral dress, yeah.” Megan confirmed.

“Hmm….”

“What?”

“I’m not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t like how she’s pawing or looking at my husband.” Megan looked a little nervous. “Meg?”

“Before Chris met you, he and Jenny were very flirtatious.”

“Huh.”

“What ‘huh’?”

“Just…. Huh.” Kate never let her smile waver.  She knew the cameras were always watching.

“She’s married.”

“So is he, but that’s not stopping her from trying to flirt with him.”

“She’s not doing anymore press for the movie with him after this.  He’s strictly with McKenna and Octavia.”

“Good.”

Megan grinned at Kate and Kate laughed slightly.  Chris came over and took Kate’s hand.  They finished walking the press line and headed into the theatre. “What were you and Megan talking about?”

“You and Jenny Slate.”

“Really?”

“She said you two were really flirty before we met.”

“Oh.  I mean, I guess, but she’s married.  I wouldn’t ever….”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“Come on, Chris.  Are you completely blind?  That woman was all over you.”

“For pictures.” Kate rolled her eyes at her husband. “Kat, seriously…. She’s a nice person.”

“I love you, but you are such a dude!”

“What?”

“Chris!” McKenna Grace came bouncing up and tugged on Chris’ arm. “Is this her?” The little girl’s eyes looked up at Kate excitedly.

“Yeah, McKenna, this is Kate.” Chris said with a big smile. “Kate, this is McKenna.”

“I’m so excited to finally meet you!” McKenna wrapped her arms around Kate’s waist. “Chris came back to set and he just couldn’t stop talking about you.  You really are the prettiest!”

Kate laughed. “Thank you!  He told me a lot about you, too.  I’m really excited to see you in the movie.”

“You are?!”

“I am!  Chris couldn’t say enough good things about you.”

“Chris!” McKenna giggled shyly which made Chris laugh. “Kate, you look really pretty.  I love your dress.”

“Thank you so much.  I love your dress, too.  The sparkles are really cool.”

“Thank you!” McKenna’s mother called her over. “I have to go to my mom.  I hope you like the movie.”

“I’m sure I will.  It was lovely to meet you.” McKenna hugged Kate again before running off. “She is just the sweetest thing.”

“So, I’m such a dude?” Chris asked, steering the conversation back to before McKenna came over.

“Yes.  Right now, it means that you’re completely oblivious to the fact that someone is hitting on you.”

“I swear she’s not….”

“She totally was.” Megan said, coming over.

“You’re ganging up on me?”

“Of course we are.  Seriously, Chris, watch out for Jenny.  She’ll get you in trouble.” Chris threw his arms up in defeat. “Ok, let’s head into the theatre.  They’re going to do introductions after the movie.”

As they headed for their assigned seats, Chris looked down at Kate. “I wouldn’t ever pursue her.”

“I know.” Kate said, squeezing his hand. “It’s not you I’m worried about.”

“Do you want me to say something to her?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Chris helped Kate situate her dress as she sat down before he sat beside her. “Are you planning something?”

“Nope.”

“Kat….”

Kate chuckled and leaned over to kiss her husband, running her fingers along his neck in the way she knew he liked.  He shuddered in pleasure and she grinned against his lips.  When they broke apart, Kate directed her gaze right at Jenny as she made her way to the seats behind Chris and Kate.  She gave Kate a tight grin before sitting down.

“That suit really does look amazing on you.” Kate said, adjusting Chris’ tie as she crossed her legs, using the slit to expose one of them from mid-thigh down.

Chris didn’t miss the bare leg.  He reached out and ran his hand along her knee and thigh. “I really love this dress.”

“Me too, but it’s a rental.”

“Can I buy it for you so you can just wear it around the house?”

Kate laughed. “I love you, you big dork.”

“I love you, too.” He leaned over and kissed her again.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Kate stood with Chris at the afterparty.  McKenna wasn’t there, but the rest of the cast and crew were.  Chris had proudly introduced her to everyone.  Octavia had given Kate the warmest hug and then Kate had promptly expressed her admiration for the actress.  The two women had talked about growing up in the South and even picked on Chris for being a ‘damn Yankee.  He jokingly took offense to that and corrected them by saying he’s a “diehard Red-Sox fan and don’t forget it.”

Chris looked down at his watch. “We need to leave soon if we’re going to make it home to pick up Maddie and head over to Twitch and Allison’s house.”

“Ok.” Kate took a sip of her champagne and set it down on a nearby table. “I need to pee.”

He chuckled. “I’ll be waiting right here.”

When Kate walked out of the bathroom, she rolled her eyes.  Jenny hadn’t come near her or Chris since the movie had ended.  She’d had to watch the couple make doe eyes at each other throughout the film.  Chris had kissed Kate’s hand or temple constantly and wrapped her in his arms when she had cried.  Now Jenny had slunk over when Kate hadn’t been near Chris.

Poor Chris looked super uncomfortable and his eyes brightened when he spotted his wife walking up behind Jenny.  Kate purposely slid between Jenny and her husband, kissing Chris for good measure, and then smiling brightly when he wrapped his arm tightly around her.  She finally turned and acknowledged Jenny.

“Hi, we haven’t met.  I’m Kate Evans, Chris’ wife and the mother of his daughter.” Kate said, not offering her hand.

“I heard you got married, Chris.” Jenny squawked. 

“I did.  We got married in October.”

“I bet you looked so handsome.”

“He did.” Kate snapped.

“My wife looked so much better than I ever could.” Chris said.

“Our daughter kind of stole the show, though.” 

“She did!  That little dress you chose was too cute on her.”

“Thank you, baby.” Kate kissed him quickly. “We need to get going.”

He looked at his watch.“Oh shit!  We do.  I’ll grab Megan and let her know we need the car pulled around.”

“Ok.” Kate watched Chris rush off and she looked at Jenny. “Look, if you’re not happy in your marriage, leave it.  But stay away from my husband.  He’s quite happy in his marriage.”

“I….” Jenny started.

“Save it.  I know about the flirtatious banter before Chris and I met.  I don’t care about that.  I care about you flirting with him now.  I care about you putting your hands on my husband where they don’t belong.”

“Babe!” Chris called, waving her over.

“If you’re not happy, find a way to get happy.  Talk to your husband and stay away from mine.  Have a nice life.” Kate gave Jenny a sarcastic smile as she walked to catch up with Chris.

“What did you say?” Chris asked, wrapping his arm around her waist and glancing at Jenny’s stunned face.

“Oh, I was just giving her some marriage advice.” Kate smiled up at Chris. “I think we’re doing well enough that I can dole some out.” 

He eyed her for a moment, but relented when she kept her smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.  Now let’s go get our baby and hang out with some new friends!” Kate kissed him as they walked through the exit doors together.

Tag List

@joannaliceevans-fanficblog

@jamielea81

@southerngracela

@kelbabyblue

@tfandtws

@lovinevans

@ajosieface

@introvertedmouse

@sullyosully

@deidrashouseofpain

@thevelvetseries

[marvelandimagine]

Framework (Part One)

Summary: Request - Bucky x reader songfic where he pushes her away and they break up but he’s miserable without her and it all ends in fluff and apologies

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 2,225

Author’s Note: This is a request from literally three years ago lol / was going to be a one-shot but surprise now it’s a two-shot bc not surprise Megan got carried away!! / based on Framework by The Story So Far

“What’s up with you lately?”

Bucky’s heartbeat quickens at your question, though he’s been expecting it for days now.

Last week, tangled up with you in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, watching you doze peacefully on his bare chest while he stroked your hair, he had been hit with the full realization that he was in love with you. And that brief rush of, dare he say it, happiness he felt when he just knew, had been quickly extinguished by fear and anxiety. His brain telling him that he had no business staying with you when you deserved someone better, someone stable. Someone whole. Telling him that he needed to run, that you having hold of his heart also meant you had the power to break it. And that lack of control, that vulnerability, it scared him. He’d just started trusting his brain, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to start trusting his heart.

So he started shutting you out. Cold answers. Less physical affection. Trying to find fault in you however he could – anything to make the inevitable more bearable. Forcing himself to create distance so he didn’t shatter when it was over.

He feigns ignorance at your question, though.

“What do you mean?”

He wondering if he’s taken things far enough for you to say you’re done, or if he’s going to have to be the one to pull the trigger.

“I mean you’ve been acting distant and I don’t know why. I didn’t say anything because I thought it was just something you were working through, but it’s lasted long enough where it seems like it’s not just a bad day or a mood.”

You shift your weight on the couch so your whole body faces him but he doesn’t move from his rigid seat, gaze fixed in front.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Now. Just do it now.” His brain is prodding him to end it, but the concern, the care in your tone keeps him frozen in place.

“Babe, look at me.” 

He reluctantly turns his head, eyes flickering up only briefly to meet yours, knowing full well that the longer he looks at you, at those beautiful eyes he had grown so used to losing himself in, the harder this was going to be.

“If you’re struggling with something or if did something that upset you, I want to know about it so we can talk through -”

“We should break up.”

I still think on you, the place, the time

And all the solitude

There’s nothing I hate more

Than pushing you away with my fucked up attitude

Your earnest request for him to open up is too much, giving him the final push he needs to get out.

Still, the silence between you weighs on his chest and he does his best to ignore the sinking sensation in his stomach. 

“Wait, what? You …” You pause, and Bucky can tell you’re rattled as he hears the confusion, the disbelief that hangs in every syllable. “Where is this coming from?” 

He doesn’t have time to formulate a response before you’re asking another question, assuming the worst.

“Did you meet someone else?”

“No.” It’s an immediate reaction this time, a truth he feels he owes you -- the last thing he wants is you thinking he cheated. 

You hesitate for the span of one of Bucky’s pounding heartbeats before you press on.

“Ok. Then can you tell me why you don’t want this anymore? Maybe I’m an idiot, but other than the past few days, I thought things were going really good. And you were just telling me the same thing like a week ago and how happy you were with me and us, so I don’t understand what’s changed.”

Bucky realizes you’re looking for an answer that he’s not willing to give. That no one like you could ever want to be with someone like him, not for the long run, anyway. That his love won’t be enough for you, and he doesn’t think he can handle that. That he’s leaving before he gets left, and that you’ll thank him for it someday. 

That he’s terrified of feeling hurt and used.

So, he lies.

“This relationship doesn’t seem to mean to me what it means to you.” He pauses, eyes fixed on the floor, keeping his tone as detached as possible. “And I don’t think it ever will.”

The silence stretches on for what seems like an eternity between you before your words tumble out

“I don’t believe this. So, the past three months meant nothing to you? What about when you said how glad you were that we had each other, how you wanted to meet my mom … what you’re saying doesn’t match what you’ve been doing.”

Nothing. He doesn’t respond, clenching his flesh and metal hands as he tries to ignore the hurt in your voice. Despite his efforts to push you away, to lessen the blow, this isn’t a clean cut like he thought it would be. This is shot to the abdomen, messy and brutal and aching.

He doesn’t say anything and it finally pushes you over the edge, your yell jolting him out of his head.

“Are you really not even going to look at me?!”

And he does, and it takes everything in him to not change his mind, to just run and hold you and tell you what’s really going on with him as he sees the tears brimming in your eyes.

But he blinks twice, fast, and does his best to go numb.

“I thought I could convince myself that I felt more than I did.”

“Bullshit. This isn’t about you not feeling, it’s about the fact that you are. It’s something real and vulnerable and that scares the shit out of you.”

Goddammit. You knew him too well.

“You can think what you want, it doesn’t change my mind.”

You scoff, brushing away a tear with the back of your hand, your rush of words stinging through him.

“Wow. So I really am an idiot, and you’re a liar, then. Because either you’re not telling me the truth now, or you weren’t telling me the truth the entire time we’ve been together, which is what you’re saying, and that means you were perfectly fine leading me on to believe this was something more than you just wanting someone you could fuck who could make you feel better about your own shit.”

“I’m sorry.” Sorry he’s a mess, that he’s afraid, that he’s hurting you. Sorry that he ever thought he’d be able to have something normal with someone so good and real and bright.

You give a harsh laugh.

“No you’re not. But I am. Sorry that I wasted my time and energy and gave my heart to someone who just fucking shattered it and doesn’t care. Sorry that I fell —” Bucky snaps his head up but you don’t see it, getting up off the couch and pacing, running your hands over your face.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter. Because I guess I don’t matter to you.”

You stop and look at him, your wounded gaze penetrating through him, but he’s not focused on the flash of anger, he’s focused on the silent plea that is just as apparent -- begging him to prove you wrong.

But he doesn’t. 

“Nothing? Wow, alright.” You turn away from him and grab your purse off the kitchen island,not bothering to look at him when you reach the door.

“Just throw out whatever shit I’ve left here out, I don’t want it back.”

He feels the slam of the door reverberating inside his chest, his enhanced hearing unable to ignore the sound of the ragged sob that escapes you now that you’re out of his sight.

Bucky places his head in his hands, trying to even out his shallow breathing. This wasn’t supposed to be this hard. But at least now, no one had a hold on him, right?. Now, he didn’t have to worry about the pain that would come when you inevitably left him for someone better.

But here, right now, the pain is more than enough, and he drags himself off the couch, striding across the living room to the kitchen. He opens the eye-level cabinet, rummaging through clinking bottles, turning them to look for the highest ABV. He settles on a three-quarter full bottle of vodka, debating for half a second on getting a glass, but knows he won’t need it. He slumps back down on the couch, bottle in one hand and the remote in the other.

He turns on the TV, searching until he finds Archer and presses play. He turns the volume up as he brings the bottle to his lips, savoring the way the escaping liquid burns -- anything to distract him from the image of you crying, from the unconvincing loop in his head:

“It’s for the best. It’s for the best. She’s better off. I’m better off.”

And louder, still:

“You fucking coward.”

He’s praying this decision will hurt less in the morning.

-

I’ve been counting paces

Since the last time we touched faces

It’s a lot like trading spaces

Where I’m the dormant one and you’re away

“Somebody had a fun evening.”

Bucky awakens to Sam’s comment and groans in his throat, eyes squinting as they struggle to adjust to the daylight streaming in the apartment. He drags the throw pillow out from underneath him and places it on the top half of his face, relishing its coolness on his pounding headache.

He hears Sam pick up at least two clinking bottles, which is troubling because he only remembers pulling down one.

“Y/N leave already?”

“Fuck.”

The brief memory lapse he was granted upon waking up is gone now, and everything comes back in an instant. He feels fucking awful, nauseous, even, and he knows it has nothing to do with the booze. 

“It’ll get easier with time,” he tells himself, hoping if he wills it hard enough, it’ll come true. 

“She left last night,” Bucky mutters, pressing the pillow down more firmly on his eyes.

“Really? Why?”

Bucky’s murmur is even lower than before, but Sam still catches each word.

“We broke up.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, man. She say why?”

Bucky feels an initial flash of irritation at Sam for assuming you’re the one who chose to end things, but it fades quickly. If he was in Sam’s place, knowing you and how amazing of a person you were, he knows he’d think the same thing. 

“No. I broke up with her,” he replies, his voice low. 

Judging by the silent response, Bucky thinks Sam must’ve left the room, until he feels his ice pack of a pillow ripped out of his hands and smacked against his head.

“What the fuck?!” He sputters, jolting himself upright to see Sam standing over him, arms crossed.

“Give me one good reason why you decided to break up with that angel of a woman.”

Bucky runs his hands through his disheveled hair, muttering darkly.

“None of your business.”

“It is when I’ve got to deal with your moping, hungover ass.” Sam cocks an eyebrow.

“She cheat on you?”

“No.”

“Didn’t think so.” Sam rubs his face, a look of frustration noticeable, like he’s trying to restrain himself from hitting Bucky again.

“Let me get this straight. You, Mr. “I don’t know what normalcy is, I just want stability,” finds a woman -- a good, smart, funny woman -- who, baffling as it may be, wants to be with you and brings some of that normalcy and stability you’ve been talking about into your life.  And just like that, you shut it down out of nowhere?”

Bucky glowers at Sam, gritting his teeth.

“It’s not like that, it’s complicated.”

Sam shakes his head.

“Whatever you say, man. You wanna self sabotage, that’s your deal.” He gives Bucky a wry smile before continuing. “All I’m gonna say is, as someone who’s done that whole deal, it doesn’t work. If you’re serious about building a new life, one you’re actually happy with, you’ve gotta be willing to give people a chance to stick around and be a part of it with you. Give yourself a chance to experience it.” 

Bucky’s irritation with Sam dissipates, turning instead to weariness. Deep down, he knows his best frenemy is probably (not probably, he is) right, but there’s no way he’s going to tell him that. So he settles for a half shrug that Sam answers with a sigh before walking away to the adjacent kitchen, pots and pans now clanging deliberately.

Normally, Bucky would rip the kitchen equipment out of his stupid hands, but right now, he’s just tired. Not just physically, but of himself. The kind of tired where he can’t even bring himself to get off the couch and move to his bed, where the sounds of the kitchen would be muffled.

He just rotates his body to bury his face in the crook of the couch’s arm, punching the pillow into a more comfortable shape beneath him as he tries to ignore the growing lump in his throat. 

He tells himself he made his decision, and now, despite the stinging behind his eyes, he has to live with it.

[shining-red-diamond]

Halloween Surprise*

Word count: 1.5k

Pairing: Taeyong x Savannah (OC)

Rating: SFW

Warnings: mentions of vomiting

A/N: Bolded words mean they’re speaking in Korean or Chinese, depending on the couple.

October 31, 2018. 7:21PM

The event was decorated extravagantly for the holiday, giving the atmosphere a spooky and exciting vibe. All of the SM artists attending were dressed as various characters and inanimate objects of pop culture. Some groups under the label were all assigned seats along with those who had significant other’s who joined them as dates.

This wasn’t the first SM Halloween party Savannah and Taeyong attended, but it was their first one as a married couple. He had dressed up as Syaoran from Cardcaptor Sakura, and she was dressed as Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon. Savannah had a friend who was a seamstress and was able to take the time to make her costume, resembling each aspect down to the last detail. She brought her costume with her to the SM building to get ready with the other girls in a separate room from the men. All day, the two had been ecstatic to have a fun evening with their friends after a relaxing honeymoon in Bali; and the moment Taeyong saw his new bride step out in her costume, he couldn’t help but smile widely and chuckle with his cheeks turning pink as cherry blossoms. Savannah even beamed at how adorable her husband looked, contrasting the handsome groom aesthetic he had sported over the last two weeks. It wasn’t that she didn’t swoon over him looking finer than a prince on their wedding day, but there were times where she swooned over his softer side. He has such a strong presence that it was easy to forget what a sweetheart he actually was.

However, Savannah had been feeling nauseated in the mornings over the past week or so. She thought she might have eaten something bad while in Bali, but she would have already been sick and over it while they were there. Fever was out of the question, because she never felt any flu symptoms despite it being cold and flu season. Her period was also five days late. Relief swept over her when she didn’t feel sick that morning, but she did come to one last conclusion that could explain her symptoms. The night before preparing for the party, Savannah went out and bought two pregnancy tests before Taeyong got home after practice that evening. She had a talent at hiding things, so she was successful in concealing the two tests from her husband.

Once he had left, Savannah took them, and both tests came back positive. She was pregnant. She was going to be a mom. There was a human forming inside her. Overwhelmed with happiness, she cried tears of joy before she had to get ready for the day.

Now, at the party, everyone else could tell Mrs. Lee Taeyong was over the moon about something, but they guessed it was because she had just married the man she loved and was happy. Little did they know, Savannah had something else life changing to tell, but she wasn’t planning to tell anyone until she told Taeyong.

Throughout the event, Savannah chatted with almost everyone there and took in the other couples’ costumes. There were a few who coupled up, some who grouped up, and a few who were independent with their costumes. Alice, Carrie, and Ivy were dressed as the Powerpuff Girls, Yuta and Nana were Snow White and the witch, Renjun and Violet were Peter Pan and Wendy, and Lucas and Sydni were Thor and Black Widow. Maggie came as a glamorous, white cat, Yoori dressed as a magical unicorn, and Megan cosplayed Ms. Frizzle. Lanying showed up as Annabelle, and her scar added the creepy effect to her costume.

“I’m surprised you didn’t dress up as Rose,” Savannah said, taking note of Alexis’s biker babe version of the Queen of Hearts. “You look amazing, but I thought you and Jaehyun had something planned this year.”

Alexis chuckled and shook her head. “Nah, he and Jungwoo wanted to do it as a joke, but he ended up putting every beauty queen out there out of business. I’m just rollin’ with it.”

“Well, you look beautiful, regardless.”

“You have got to be the prettiest Sailor Mars here,” Seulgi spoke up. She was dressed as a vampire, her dyed blonde locks bringing the look together.

“Thank you,” Savannah smiled. “I need to remember to repay my friend back for making it for me.”

“Give her my regards. She’s talented.” She leaned into her friend’s ear. “And maybe have her make costumes for my groups’ next comeback.”

The two giggled.

“Well, maybe I ca-“It hit her. The nausea she thought had subsided for today had returned to torment her again. She felt that snacks she had devoured earlier rise back up.

“Are you okay?” Alexis asked in concern.

An awful taste coated the inside of Savannah’s mouth. She wasn’t about to vomit in the middle of the party, so she dashed out the room into the nearest women’s restroom. Flinging open the first stall door, she fell onto her knees and everything she had eaten that day was released from her mouth into the toilet bowl.

A pair of hands held her hair back. “Just let it out. I’m right here.” Seulgi.

Once Savannah had finished puking her guts out, she flushed the toilet, sat on the floor, and her friend gave her a paper towel to wipe her mouth.

“How does one get sick all of a sudden?” Seulgi asked as she knelt by her.

“I don’t have a fever,” she weakly responded after cleaning around her mouth. “And it’s not food poisoning.”

Seulgi stared blankly at her friend before the realization hit her. She gasped as her eyes grew wide. Her hand covered her mouth in shock.

“Are you-?”

Savannah nodded. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my gosh!” Seulgi threw her arms around Savannah in glee. “Does Taeyong know? Savannah, I’m so happy for you.”

“Not yet. I wanted him to be the first to know.”

Seulgi pulled away. “I’ll act surprised.”

“Thank you.”

“Savannah,” Taeyong’s voice sounded from the doorway.

“I’m coming, honey,” she called back. Seulgi helped her up, and Savannah tossed the paper towel in the garbage can. The two women exited the restroom, meeting a worried Taeyong at the door.

“Thank you for checking on her,” he said to Seulgi before she walked back towards the party. He faced his wife again, his hands cupping her face. “Are you okay?”

Savannah nodded.

“You had disappeared from the party, and Alexis told me where you went.”

“Nausea hit me,” she explained, Taeyong’s arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close to him. “But I’m better now.”

“Honey, you’ve been feeling nauseated every day since we got back from our honeymoon. Are you sure you’re all right? Do I need to take you to the doctor?”

She couldn’t keep it from him any longer. She hated when Taeyong got worried. Idol life was stressful enough, and she didn’t want to add to it by hiding her pregnancy another day.

“Well, I will go see a doctor eventually,” she hinted as her hands wrapped around the back of her husband’s neck.

His left eyebrow was now raised in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a small giggle, she kissed his cheek and said, “Taeyong, I’m pregnant.”

The NCT leader’s expression transformed from confused into a look of shocked joy. His brown eyes widened and sparkled with happiness, and a giant smile stretched across his face.

“Savannah, are you serious?” His hands returned to her face, and she nodded. “When did you find out?”

“This morning after you left for practice. I wanted to tell you when we got home and show you the pregnancy tests I took, but Seulgi beat you to it.”

Taeyong couldn’t stop smiling as he pulled his beloved wife in for the biggest yet gentlest hug he could give her. Joy overwhelmed him so much in that moment he couldn’t stop the tears beginning to fall down his face. Savannah began to weep herself.

He broke away from their embrace and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, completely ignoring his own. “Can we do it? Raise a baby? Our baby? I mean my schedule is hectic, and you’re working for another group.”

She sighed. “I’ve been excited all day, but now that I think about it, I’m not sure of anything right now, Yongie. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be a mom. I don’t even know-”

Taeyong cut her off by pecking her lips, disregarding that she just vomited in the toilet less than five minutes ago. He then pressed his forehead against hers. “Don’t say things like that, baby. You’re going to be a great mother, because you take such good care of everyone else around you. I mean, sure, they’re not infants, but that kind of love and care can be carried over to any age.”

She was silent for a moment before whispering, “I’m still scared, though.”

“So am I, but how about we take this a day at a time?”

Savannah began to calm down and steadied her breathing, even though she hadn’t realized she was heaving out of nervousness.

“Okay,” she agreed. She pulled back enough to meet Taeyong’s eyes. “Can we go home, please? Fatigue is starting to kick in.”

“Of course,” he smiled before kissing her head.

[westcoastrry]

Tracing The Stars Chapter 5

Harry's POV

When Coach Parker sent the official team list to the group chat, and I saw Gabe and I as Captains, I pretty much lost it.

During tryouts, I played the best I had ever played. If I didn't get that pep talk from Blair beforehand, I probably would have been worried about everything. But, I took Blair's advice, and I wasn't playing to please coach, my parents, or anyone else. I was playing for fun. I was playing for me.

"So you gonna tell me where the hell that beast came from today?" Gabe asks, snapping me out of my thoughts, passing me a beer.

"Dude, I wish I fucking knew."

"Two goals and three assists. Yeah, we are getting that Champion State win for sure."

"I'm nervous about Crestview," I reply. "Their team gets better and better every year, and I heard they got a brand new coach who used to play at Stanford."

Gabe says something in response, but I'm not paying the slightest bit of attention because all my eyes are on Blair, who just walked into the party with Megan.

A black lace shirt that makes her boobs looking fucking amazing. Her jeans hug her curves perfectly, and I'm trying to keep my eyes on her face, but her body is so alluringly distracting.

Blair was undeniably attractive. Everyone at this damn school knew it, and if they didn't know it before, they sure as hell were going to know it now.

Out of nowhere, Maya comes up behind Gabe and I startling both of us. "I want her pussy on my face."

I hit Megan's shoulder, while Gabe just stares at Maya with a wide mouth.

"Respectfully. I meant that in a very respectful manner," she corrects herself taking my beer out of her hand and chugging it down.

Gabe is still staring at Maya in complete shock.

"Please, don't tell me we are just gonna brush past that, right? I refuse to brush past this like we all did not hear what she just said."

"Looks like I just came out to you, bud," Maya exclaims before drunkenly strutting away.

Gabe looks at me with the same shocked expression on his face, and I just shrug my shoulders in response.

"You have got to be kidding me? You know Maya was my middle school crush, right? I lost my virginity to her!"

I laugh in response. "Yeah, I had a feeling she decided she was gonna explore her sexuality and then toss us to the side when she was done."

"So you and Maya aren't fucking?" He questions.

"Not since she came out to me this summer."

"Jesus, can you grab the stash of weed from my room? We gotta stop letting women use us like this man. It's degrading."

I get up to grab Gabe's stash, but turn around simultaneously to respond to him. "Who cares! I'm completely fine with it."

As I'm walking up the stairs to Gabe's room, I hear him yell, "Of course you are completely okay with it, you whore!"

Gabe's party is starting to get packed, which was normal since his parties are so popular. Gabe's Dad is super-rich and is always traveling with his girlfriend, who is probably a few years older than Gabe. It is quite obvious she is using Gabe's Dad for his money, but I don't think he cares. Gabe is usually home alone because of this, and I know it sucks for him. His mom died in middle school, and he hasn't been close with his Dad since. When I saw that Gabe was virtually living in a mansion by himself, I basically forced him to live with me when he wasn't throwing parties. He would come over for family dinners, and we basically shared a room.

Sometimes I think Gabe throws these parties not only to spite his Dad, who doesn't condone Gabe's partying addiction but because secretly, Gabe hates being alone. So the more people, the better.

I didn't blame him. We all have our demons. We just have to find a way to cope with them.

I finished rolling up some blunts for Gabe in his room. I was just about to leave when Blair stumbled through the door.

"Oh!" She squeaks. "Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine—just a little tipsy. I feel good, though. How were tryouts?" She eagerly asked, not seeming to be drunk where she is off the rails, but definitely tipsy enough to have a good time.

"Team captain, baby," I respond with a slight smirk on my face.

She squeals, running into me, pushing me back on Gabe's bed with her arms around my neck.

"I knew you could fucking do it!"

She slightly shifts on top of me, causing me to groan because of how she is situated on my lap, but she crawls beside me, not seeming to notice how she just gave me a full-on boner.

"Whose blunts are these? She asks curiously, picking one up."

"Gabe's. Do you want one?"

"Yes. God, a blunt right now sounds so good. How does Gabe get all this weed?"

"Usually me," I say without context, making Blair furrow her eyebrows. "I'm not a dealer or anything like that. I have a medical card for when I got into my accident. Sometimes when I'm at the shop, I pick up stuff for Gabe." I take the joint from her hands, light it up, and hand it back to her.

"I needed this," She said, hitting the blunt before passing it back to me. I decline, not really in the mood to smoke at the moment. "My anxiety was getting the best of me."

"Anxiety?"

"Yeah. People always have something to say, you know?" She continues her rant after taking a drag of the blunt and blowing out the smoke. "I think people are expecting me to take my top off and dance on Gabe's living room table like I did sophomore year."

I burst out laughing, distinctly remembering that memory from Gabe's fourth of July party.

"Plus, Megan keeps wanting me to hook up with a guy so I can get over my ex."

I frown at her words. "You definitely don't have to hook up with any guy if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to," She says, almost finishing off the entire blunt. "It's just that I think my clit is broken."

The words tumble out of her mouth, almost as if she doesn't have a care in the world for what she is saying.

"Like there is no way my isn't clit is broken. Or my entire vagina, for that matter. I never get to finish, or at least I never have, and then the guy always walks off, and I'm left all hot and bothered."

"Have you tried to pleasure yourself?" I ask curiously.

"Haven't really figured that one out yet. Working on it, though."

I hum in response, watching her finish off the last bit of the blunt.

"Your clit isn't broken, by the way. You just gotta find a guy who is willing to give a fuck about your pleasure, not just his. Sex should be pleasurable for both parties anyway."

"You say my clit isn't broken now, but I promise you it is."

"I promise you it's not. You just have to learn your body and the things you like."

"Teach me."

[thatsdemko]

☆Therapy ☆-J.Norris

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Therapy masterlist

A/N: next chapter is a bit better hehehe

A mother is always right no matter what. They have a superpower that no father could ever have, and hearing those words come from her mother made her rethink everything. Will was a great guy, he had every good intention and anything a girl could ever want in life, but josh? Josh, for no fault of his own, just topped off. He was sweet, funny, kind, and protective. Everything of those turned her on just in the ways will did, but differently.

“What are you thinking about so intently?” Josh sat down on Jenna’s bed and she looked over at him with a fake smile and he knew something was wrong, “has your mom ever said something to you that opened your eyes? Like you know she’s right what she’s saying.”

“Yeah, my mom does that a lot, why?”

“Well—never mind actually.” Megan shook her head deciding it was pointless and just laid down in her bed grabbing her MacBook and starting to finish writing her paper.

“You sure?” He asked going on to his MacBook now and Megan nodded her head, “I’m sure of it.” She said sending Jenna a text that the two needed to talk when she got home.

—

“This. This is where the chemistry is.” The doctor smiled looking between josh and Megan, “I like this match more than anything.” He was just as overjoyed as the two were to be back together. Josh’s partner had to cancel and Megan was supposed to have a session today, so instead of making josh wait they just combined practice, but doing different things.

“Nothing hurts?” One of the therapists asked josh watching him do some more of the workouts with more intensity getting his shoulder back to full strength as much as possible.

“No, I mean the weights too much for right now.” He dropped it down carefully looking over way seeing Megan working with the weights too, he could tell she wasn’t doing well, but it was all part of the process.

“We can switch with the ones Megan has in a minute.” Josh nodded his head waiting until Megan was done and she looked about done laying down on the table she was at and the lady who was working with josh went over and got the weights while many others started huddling around Megan.

“Is she okay?” Josh asked almost about to pick up the weights when the doctor came in and Josh got up walking over to Megan crouching down in front of her, “her muscle was just in spasm and now her whole shoulder is tight, she can’t move.”

“It hurts,” she whispered grabbing a hold of his hand tightly and he wiped the tears falling down her cheek, “it’s okay, you’re going to be okay, Megs.” Josh whispered.

“Megan, sweetie, we are going to go the hospital okay? Josh will meet you there, alright?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I want josh to come with me.” She cried harder and josh stood up, “Megan, I’ll be with you but I’m going to drive my car there–“

“Please, please no stay with me.” She sobbed and he just gave in, he’d never seen her like this before, he could tell she was in panic mode, just looking at her worried him.

The ambulance arrived and Megan was placed on the stretcher and josh went with her texting will what was happening and then calling Megan’s parents to inform them of what happened.

Josh’s hand never left hers, he stroked her hand with his thumb gently making shapes while she laid there talking with the EMT’s about what hurt and how it all happened.

Once they got to the hospital Megan was going to get an x-Ray down and josh sat outside waiting for her parents to arrive, “how is she?” Her mother came rushing in and her dad follow behind shortly, “she wasn’t doing so well, she’s in a lot of pain.”

Josh looked down at his phone seeing Will had texted that he was on his way, they had just got home from New York only ten minutes ago and josh told him where they were.

The door opened and Megan came out in a wheelchair and they all stood up from their spots, “we will find the results out in a couple of minutes.” The doctor said and one of the nurses now took Megan’s wheelchair and wheeled her to the emergency room and she got into one of the hospital beds, “wills on his way.”

“Did he just get home?” She asked and josh nodded his head, “he should be here any minute I’m probably going to go meet up with him.” He said and Megan’s mom grabbed the clothes from his hands, “you can go find him, sweetie.” She smiled and josh went off and now it was just her family and her.

“Your brother is worried about you.”

“Nice that he cares.” She replied when one of the doctors came over giving her some pain medication to decrease inflammation while they waited, “so you’re still with will?”

“It’s been a whole day since you’ve said that mom, nothings changed I like will.” Megan replied seeing will and josh come around the corner and she could see the bags under his eyes, he hadn’t slept since he left and he also hadn’t shaved since then either since he starting to get a bit of shadow, “hi,” he pressed a kiss to her cheek and she grabbed his hand squeezing it, “you didn’t have to come.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He whispered rubbing his hand over his face and she frowned, “you need sleep.” She whispered and he nodded his head, “I’ll sleep once you get better.”

—

It’d been a long day at the hospital, she felt bad for dragging josh with her and felt bad for making will come over when he should have been catching up on his sleep.

“I need to take a shower I feel gross.” Megan whispered, she had found out her shoulder was strained from the weights and she would have to go in for more therapy once her initial time was supposed to be over. Will had taken her back to his apartment because she would need somebody to watch her while her roommate was gone, plus due to the medication they gave her she wasn’t feeling all that well.

“I’ll run you one come on.” Will got up out of bed with her helping her up.

Her mom could be right that josh was right for her, but for now, Will was the one thing she deserved. She didn’t think josh had what it would take to treat a woman properly she never saw it in him, but will? He was another story.

[raywritesthings]

Fade In, Fade Out 2/2

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Quentin Lance, Felicity Smoak, John Diggle, Ricardo Diaz, Anatoly Knyazev, Rene Ramirez, Dinah Drake, Curtis Holt, William Clayton Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: Pretending to be her deceased doppelganger has as many drawbacks as it does benefits, so Black Siren decides it’s time to really switch things up on her enemies and allies alike. Oliver is confronted with his true feelings once again and must finally make a choice. *Can be read on my AO3 or FFN, links are in bio*

Felicity wasn’t sure what to think when Oliver practically demanded the whole team gather for an emergency meeting. He’d left abruptly that morning on an errand for Quentin without explaining why, and when she’d pinged his phone to check in on him, he’d been driving back from what could have only been the airport, judging by the direction. She’d been set to ask him about it once she got back, but she supposed she’d be getting her answers now.

And what an answer it turned out to be.

John was the first to provide the voice of reason as ever. “Oliver, we’ve done this before.”

“I know we have, John, but I also know it’s real this time. She’s real,” Oliver insisted. “Her doppelganger used the information Lance accidentally let slip about the other Pits, and she took her chance.”

“To get away?” Dinah scowled. “If this is real, we need to track her down, not go looking for the bait she left us.”

Oliver took a step towards Dinah. “Laurel is not bait.”

“She is to her bitch of a doppelganger.”

“Assuming they really aren’t just one and the same,” Curtis pointed out. “I mean, she literally did just start impersonating her Earth 1 self to the public. She might just be trying to complete the ruse on us.”

“How do we know for sure Trinity’s not just playing? You see them both in the same place or something?” Rene asked.

Oliver frowned. “No.”

The others all exchanged looks with each other. This wasn’t good. Oliver couldn’t keep doing this. He would only lose the team’s confidence once again. Not to mention hers.

She had thought they had lain this all to rest. That he had let Laurel go. That she wasn’t still a blind spot for him, a distraction from the life he needed to be living. A life with her. His distance ever since their not-quite-wedding with Barry and Iris and now this. Was it just him retreating back into his old ways?

So Felicity stepped forward. “If you could all give us a minute?”

John nodded and made sure the others moved into the next room to offer them some privacy.

Oliver looked down. He hadn’t met her eyes this whole time.

“I know you think you’re doing the right thing, that this really can be true. There’s no one who would love to have our Laurel back more than me! Except maybe Quentin,” she realized belatedly. “And Sara. And, well, maybe her mom. Never really was clear on how they were — But Oliver, it just doesn’t make sense to get our hopes up like this.”

“I’ve explained how it happened. And I know Laurel.”

“You thought you knew her doppelganger, too,” she reminded him. “And I had to show you that you were wrong.” She’d had to save him from that dark mirror of their friend over and over, and now he wanted to fall prey to the Siren’s Song all over again.

She could tell by the set of his shoulders he was prepared to be stubborn about this. He hadn’t been this stubborn in years, and she had not missed it. “That was me pushing aside my questions and doubts because I wanted to believe. This time, Laurel proved herself to me. To her father, too.”

“Yes, the person most desperate for his daughter to still be alive!” She gave a short laugh. “His daughter who then apparently went right out his window and left.”

Oliver shook his head. “The Pit is known to disorient people. If she left, it’s because she feels lost for some reason.”

“Then she clearly wants to find herself on her own.” Felicity gestured back towards where the others all waited. “And you need to find yourself again before they decide to leave, too.”

“That’s fine if they don’t want to be involved.” Oliver went over to his case and took out his bow and quiver. He moved over to his table of arrows, beginning to select them for placement. “This isn’t about them. But I owe it to her to try and help her through this.”

Felicity barely held back a frustrated groan. He always did this. “And what about Diaz? What about the corruption in this city and how it’s falling apart?” She marched up to his side. “These aren’t the days where you can drop everything the minute a Laurel is in trouble, Oliver! You still haven’t even explained how you know without a doubt it’s her.”

“She knows what she said to me before she died.”

“And so do I, and the team and any number of people at this point. That isn’t a secret exclusive to the two of you.”

Oliver drew in a breath and set the quiver down. “I haven’t been honest with you, Felicity. Not completely.”

“Wow, that’s a shocker. What is it this time?” She posed rhetorically, starting to pace. “A deal with the devil? A secret evil brother you never knew about?”

“I still love her.”

Felicity froze. She’d expected I still care or She’s important or any one of those placeholders for the thing he had always just held back from saying. Not this. Not the one thing she couldn’t hope to compete against.

“I should have told you. You had the right to know that before resuming anything with me… but I thought it was something I would take with me to my grave.” He finally did look at her, and the sincere compassion in his eyes was almost too much to stand. “I’m sorry.”

She backed up a step. “You- you’re lying. Or you’re confused. You’re just thinking this because you think she’s back and everything can be all wonderful and rainbows again now that Gorgeous Laurel—”

“This isn’t something I just decided. I’ve known it since the hospital. Since we lost her,” he said. “If you can’t trust my word, ask John. He knows.”

Felicity felt the breath leave her. John had known this and kept it from her? Had he thought it would just go away? That they could all go back to pretending?

“So I’ve just been what, the consolation prize? A nanny for William?”

He bowed his head. “No. I was- I’ve been trying to move on. For years. I thought I could do that with you, but lately… you know it hasn’t been the same. We’re never really happy.”

“And do you think you could be happy with Laurel after everything you did?” She asked stiffly. It was the only way she could steel herself against crying. She was not letting anyone see that, least of all him.

“I don’t know,” he answered, and it was perhaps the most honest thing he’d ever said in his life. “But I owe it to her to try. And I owe it to you to let you go like you asked of me once.”

Felicity closed her eyes. “I did ask. That was… I had the right idea then, I can see that now.” She turned away. “Whenever this blows up in your face, do not come crying to me.” She was done with this, should have been done a long time ago. But she’d been trying to be empathetic. Look where that had gotten her.

Felicity left the main room and stopped by the side room they were all waiting in. “He’s hopeless.”

John was now the one avoiding her gaze. “Lance called. Laurel’s grave was dug up and covered back over with the dirt. He’s searching the city in his car now.”

Her lip trembled. Of course. Of course this had to be the one time Oliver was right about anything.

“Well, good luck.” She had come back to the team with Laurel’s death. It only seemed fitting that she exit it with her friend’s rebirth. He didn’t need her anymore anyway.

Felicity got out her phone as she ascended in the elevator. If she was quick, she could have a hotel room booked and her essentials packed before William got home from recreational baseball practice. Oliver was on his own for packing the rest and explaining her departure to his son. Not to mention any bills for therapy.

She should have stuck to her convictions the first time they split. She wasn’t the kind of girl who was fooled twice. And she was never going to be his girl again.

It was high time Felicity Megan Smoak left all this behind and reinvented herself for the better, the same as she’d done before.

---

Laurel felt lost. Not physically; she knew exactly which street this was. But she felt out of place in her own life. Which she supposed was natural, considering she hadn’t had one of those for nearly two years. Maybe this was why Sara just hadn’t been able to stay.

Of course, Sara hadn’t been brought back only to find out it had the potential to ruin the life of the person she loved.

Laurel had actually been tired when she’d asked to retire to the guest room at her father’s, but she’d also known he and Oliver were far more likely to speak candidly if they thought she was out of earshot. That would be the best way to determine just what her being unexpectedly back meant to the pair of them.

Her dad had actually seemed to feel about the same as how he’d presented himself once he’d realized she was truly his daughter. But then he’d asked Oliver about his intentions, and Laurel had received the shock of her life; Oliver still had feelings for her.

It had taken everything in her not to rush back out there and ask if it was true. How had this happened? And when? She’d felt warmth and giddiness flood her system all at once.

Yet reality had settled back in. He was recommitted to Felicity. They had found each other again just as Laurel had told him to do on what had ended up her deathbed, if temporarily at that. So her suddenly being alive was a problem.

She’d pressed the heels of her hands to her forehead as her eyes had welled up with tears. Why was she always the problem, always in the way just by living and breathing? It would be more convenient for everyone if she’d just stayed dead.

Laurel had known the choice would be agonizing for Oliver to make. His heart or his responsibilities. So before she’d really thought it through, she’d opened the window to the bedroom and climbed out, taking care not to make much noise on the fire escape as she had descended it.

Now she wandered the streets of her home city, so similar yet in some ways so different than she remembered, confused and distraught. What did she do now? Seek out Thea on whatever mission she was on? Find a way to contact Sara and disappear into time itself? Retreat to some small corner of the earth where no one knew her? She didn’t want to just abandon the city or her loved ones, but they couldn’t have really wanted her back anyway. After all, none of them had brought her back.

A black van pulled to a crawl beside her and two men got out. A third was slower to do so, but his dark eyes and neck tattoos certainly made him stand out from the rest. “Taking in the fresh air?”

“Yes,” she answered slowly. The question didn’t sound all that innocent coming from his voice. Even soft as he was speaking, it carried an undercurrent of threat that had the hairs at the back of her neck standing up.

When she turned to keep going, she found her path blocked by one of the two men who’d first stepped out. Hired help, she was starting to suspect. “I’m not sure what this is about, but I’ll be on my way.”

“So pretending we’re strangers is part of the act, too? I wish I could say I was hurt.” He nodded to his men and they backed off before he swiftly stepped into her space and took her arm. Laurel tried to jerk out of his hold, but he was far stronger under the suit he wore than she’d thought. “We need to talk about your little trip over the weekend.”

Her trip? But then — he thought she was her doppelganger. How many times was this going to keep happening?

Laurel shook her head. “That wasn’t me.”

“I know Oliver Queen picked you up from the airport. You’re not thinking about betraying me again for his crew of psychos and chumps are you?”

Laurel knew she had to act fast. He was moving them towards the car, so if she wanted to try and fight her way out of this — but it was far too public to risk exposing her identity, and she was outnumbered three to one, with at least two of them armed, she could tell.

This man, whoever he was, clearly knew about the team and their identities. He was against Oliver and the others. And she — or her doppelganger — seemed to have some kind of in. Maybe the best thing to do was to play along and see what she could learn. Revealing who she really was didn’t seem like the safe option, at any rate.

So Laurel arched an eyebrow and did her best to call up every last bit of scorn and snark she could muster, all the bitterness she’d wrapped herself in during those five years she’d lost Ollie and Sara, her mother and father as well. The year after Tommy’s death and Oliver left her once again, when she’d given herself totally over to it. “Psychos?”

“That was your word for Dinah Drake.”

Laurel had a problem. She had no idea who Dinah Drake was. And what were the odds that there was some other Dinah in this town than her or her mom? All her go-to comebacks were getting mixed up with digs about bad parenting.

“Maybe I was giving her too much credit.”

The man smirked to himself as he held the door open for her, one hand still on the small of her back. Well, in for a penny…

His tattoos looked like dragons, Laurel noted to herself as they slid into the back seat. He also seemed to like invading her personal space. Seriously, what had her doppelganger been into? And couldn’t she have warned her? Laurel did her best not to show how uncomfortable she was as they drove to where he was headquartered. She stared out the window with a bored expression all the while tracking the street names and direction they were going in.

He allowed her the silence the whole drive over while the sun set and the sky darkened above. They got out and walked into a building made of concrete and steel.

It held arena-style seating that descended down to a floor space dominated by a raised platform for spars or matches. Two men fought on it, their belongings resting on a table to the side. Along with their guns.

Trying not to make it seem like she was making a beeline for them, Laurel wandered over to the table and perched on it, crossing her legs.

“She returns,” a man with a noticeable Russian accent remarked. Laurel sneered vaguely at him. Great, another person she was supposed to know. He eyed her a little closer, murmuring, “You do not seem… yourself.”

Laurel’s heart jumped, but she worked to keep her cool and crossed her arms. “And who else would I be?”

“Not sure.”

Dragon Tattoos Man walked back over her way after instructing the men sparring to keep going, and he now motioned the Russian man to back off as well. He stopped in front of Laurel and took out some sort of handheld device, flicking it on. Laurel leaned back, but he cupped her jaw to hold her in place.

“No, no, just stay right there.” At the near-whisper, his voice still seemed to carry that promise of violence if she stepped one toe over a line. “This wouldn’t be necessary, but I have to make sure you’re really listening. And that you’re not planning any cute tricks with that pretty little voice of yours.”

It was some kind of inhibitor for her Cry? Laurel wasn’t sure how it was supposed to work, but she didn’t feel any different. Something told her she should be.

“Whatever you get up to, whether that’s here or in Russia or somewhere else, you come to me first,” he commanded. “That’s the only way this works. This family has to work together. Do you understand that? We have the police. We’ll have City Hall once Oliver Queen is ousted. One person just out of step makes the plan fall apart. My plan for this city that will get those vigilantes permanently out of your hair.” He reached out and tucked the strands hanging to her right behind her ear, and Laurel only just barely suppressed a shudder of fear. “Isn’t that what you really want?”

What her doppelganger had really wanted, clearly, was to be free of everyone, including this guy and his whole crew. Again, really nice of her not to give her a head’s up!

When he backed up a step, she could see the Russian man was still watching her with a troubled expression. Laurel knew she needed to figure out something to say. “Of course.”

Inside, her mind and heart were racing. Dragon Man wanted to take over the city, and he already knew who Oliver and the others all were. Therefore he knew their weaknesses.

Except hers.

Whatever he thought that device was doing to dampen her powers, it wasn’t working. Whether it was simply broken or meant only for her doppelganger, Laurel didn’t know. But she was only going to have one shot at this.

The Russian man was slowly walking around towards Dragon Man. Somehow he had clocked her, whether he knew who she really was or thought she was just lying about her loyalties. She needed to act now.

Laurel’s hand closed around the gun sitting behind her on the table, and she brought it around, firing into the shoulders of the two men who had brought her here with their boss. The Russian and Dragon Man both managed to dodge out of the way of her next shots, so Laurel grabbed the second gun and pushed the table over, jumping behind it for cover.

Bullets dented the front of it as some of the other men started firing. She traded fire, doing her best to make each shot count as she picked off man after man. It was impossible to control if all her shots were non-lethal, but if it came down to their lives or the innocent people of this city, she knew which choice she was making. It was a choice her father, her sister and Oliver had all made in their own lives, and she wasn’t about to hold back.

Laurel ducked as another bullet just narrowly missed her right shoulder. She spun on the balls of her feet where she was crouched to see more men trying to circle back around her on the raised steps. 

Drawing a deep breath, she let loose her Cry, impacting the stands and causing everyone standing on them to fall. She kept pouring power into it, feeling the floor shaking as the stairs started to crumble.

Laurel felt a sharp yank on her hair as she was dragged up over the table. Her scream went up and hit the ceiling for a moment before she gave a gasp at the stinging of her scalp. The man with the dragon tattoos jammed the handheld device in her face, eyes blazing in fury. Laurel refused to even blink.

“What the hell are you doing?” He roared in her face. 

“What a hero would do.” She let out another scream, watching him fly across the room to land in a heap. From this distance, she couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not. She’d have to check, but otherwise—

A gun cocked and she froze. The Russian emerged from the side where he’d been hiding. Laurel raised her own gun to point right back at him.

“You are out. I counted,” he said with confidence. Earned confidence, because Laurel had counted as well. She grit her teeth. “You are Oliver Queen’s Dinah Laurel Lance, yes?”

There was no use lying at this point. “How did you know?”

“I was long-time friend of Oliver Queen before he betrayed the Bratva. I took the liberty of learning his background.” He inclined his head towards her. “And his loved ones.”

A Bratva man, and one Oliver had apparently pissed off. That figured.

“You have ruined my hopes for revenge quite well.”

“Can’t say I’m sorry,” she admitted with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

He didn’t look all that upset anyway. His gun was still trained on her. “I have better idea now. You may say I am adaptable.”

So it was this game, was it? Well, unlike with Darhk, she wasn’t immobilized by magic. And she was so sick of getting murdered for some man’s revenge.

“I still have a weapon,” she reminded him.

He kept smiling. “But listen. Hear metal groaning?”

She did. The structure of the building was unstable.

“You will bring walls down. On both of us, I think. Would hero like you risk that?”

She could end this right now and likely die in the process, barely a day after she’d gotten her life back. Or she could die from a gunshot wound to teach Oliver some kind of twisted lesson. Laurel knew which she would prefer.

She’d nearly been crushed under a building once. Maybe it was always supposed to end this way.

The Russian’s smile faltered when she smiled right back. “Start running.”

He took one step back, then another as Laurel drew in a breath. He wasn’t going to make it, of course. She’d bury this whole crime operation before they could enact whatever plan to harm Oliver and the others first. Make this brief second chance count so they would all be alright.

“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

---

Oliver sped down the streets on his bike, looking for any flash of that familiar blonde hair. Quentin had already checked the places familiar to Laurel and turned up nothing. Whether Laurel was disoriented or simply trying not to be found, he didn’t know.

He’d asked the man to wait with William for an hour or so while he made his own search. Quentin has tactfully chosen not to ask where Felicity was, but Oliver knew it would have to be discussed with his son.

He was starting to wonder if Samantha had been right all those years ago about his life being too unstable to raise a child in. So much happened even in just the span of a week: Thea gone; his and Felicity’s relationship finally falling apart the way he probably should have just let it after their failure of an engagement the first time; Laurel back. Assuming he could find her. Assuming she still wanted to be here.

Had he done too much to push her away? Did she feel out of place knowing that they’d let her doppelganger take over her life? If he could have done something, he would have, but there had simply been no way to expose Siren to the public without tarnishing Laurel’s reputation.

He would search for another hour before he needed to go back and see that William was fed and got to bed. Laurel had left Quentin’s credit card behind. She couldn’t get far in the time that would take.

His comm crackled to life unexpectedly. It seemed his team had chosen to stick around after all.

“GA,” said Curtis’ voice. “There’s a report of a building collapse out in the warehouse district. No known cause.”

Oliver frowned. If he went to check that out, he’d be stopping his search for Laurel even sooner than he’d planned. But there could be people in the rubble of that building who needed help.

“I’m on it.”

“Spartan, Wild Dog and Black Canary will meet you there.”

He couldn’t quite stop himself from cringing. Why had they all insisted on giving Dinah the exact same codename as Laurel? Yes, she had asked him to keep her legacy going, but Laurel had forged her own identity as the Black Canary separate from her sister’s time in the field. And Sara had taken her own path with the Legends. Had he just been that desperate to fill the missing hole in his life that he’d given Laurel’s name and place away?

Just as Oliver pulled up to the wreckage, Curtis’ voice came back over the comm again. “I’m digging into the building’s records, and it doesn’t seem like anybody good owned it. Lots of shell accounts trying to keep me from finding the source. I’d be careful, GA.”

“Got it.” Oliver left his bike and looked for a safe entry point. It was tough going squeezing himself through gaps in the rubble and twisted metal. He first came across a couple men trapped under a wall. Both were unconscious, yet were also curiously facing in towards the main room rather than looking as though they’d been heading for the exit.

Oliver’s foot kicked something on the ground, and he watched the handgun skid across the floor. Curtis had definitely been right about his hunch.

“We’re going to need a lot of EMTs,” Oliver said into his comm. “Multiple injuries. Some possible fatalities. Looks like a shootout that got interrupted by something bad.”

There was a massive arena space carved out in the middle, but the stairs leading down looked like they’d been impacted with a bomb for all the use they were. He shot a grapple arrow and rugged it a few times to test it before using it rappel down to the ground floor.

He spotted more men here and there. Some had been crushed while others bled from gunshot wounds. Oliver walked around a slab of concrete and froze.

Diaz was lying there, his bottom half trapped under the slab and dried blood coating the right side of his neck from the ear down. His breath was coming, though shallowly at that.

“Hoss!”

Oliver looked up to see Rene and Dinah had both arrived and were carefully making their way down to meet him.

“It’s Diaz and his men,” Oliver told them. “Not sure what happened yet.”

“Why would Diaz wreck his own place?” Dinah asked. He shrugged.

A low groan had him leaving Diaz’s side and looking for the source. Both of his eyebrows raised upon finding his former brother and friend slowly crawling out from under some wreckage. He held a hand over his left thigh, and it dragged limply behind him.

“Anatoly.”

The former Pahkan squinted up at him. Two of his teeth were chipped. “She can sing.”

“She?”

“Brought house down, very literally.” Anatoly attempted a chuckle but cut off with a pained wheeze. His head dropped back onto the floor. “I give her credit. She called bluff.” His eye slipped closed and his breathing evened out as he lost consciousness.

Oliver turned slowly in a circle, the seemingly random damage suddenly making a horrible amount of sense.

“Laurel.”

“Huh?” Rene was only ten feet away now, and Dinah was close behind.

“This was Laurel. She used her Cry and took out Diaz.”

Dinah scowled. “Which one?”

“Mine,” Oliver snapped, unthinking. He shook his head and amended, “The one from this Earth.”

She must have been picked up by Diaz or his men and realized what the crime lord was planning, then made her move. She wouldn’t have thought anything of such a self-sacrificial play; she was always so giving. Lord, what if she—?

Some sheets of metal were propped up by a beam near the center of the room. Just poking out from under the metal, a hand lay palm-up.

Oliver raced over, heart in his throat. God, please, not again. He wouldn’t survive seeing this. Not Laurel, not just like Tommy—

He pushed the metal up to see her lying there with a gash on her forehead but her body otherwise intact. The support beam was tilted over her at an angle, and had protected her.

He looked back to his teammates who both remained watching him. “Help me. Please.”

Warily, Rene stepped forward. He was the only one. Wild Dog took over holding up the metal so that he could reach in to the small pocket of space it had created around Laurel. Oliver felt himself trembling with relief as he pulled Laurel out and cradled her in his arms. The cut looked superficial and could heal. Some bruising was rising as well, and he noticed her one ankle was bent at an awkward angle. Twisted, perhaps when she had fallen. But survivable.

“We have to get her to the base. She can’t be found here.”

“Spartan has the van out front,” Dinah said. She turned her back and started making her way to the exit.

Oliver took a grapple arrow back up to the top with one arm wrapped securely around Laurel, then did his best to get out of the building with both speed and care. John was waiting with the van like Dinah had said, and he got out as Oliver approached.

“Lyla says DHS is on their way. They’re gonna take custody of Diaz and his men that survived.” He looked down at Laurel. “This is the one you picked up at the airport?”

Oliver nodded, watching closely as John drew in a breath through his nose and pressed his lips tight together. A conflict was warring in his eyes, and he reached out to check the cut on her forehead the same as Oliver had.

“It— I don’t know. She looks like her. Crazy as that sounds, cause Siren does, but—”

“No, I know,” Oliver agreed quietly. There was a softness to her features that Siren just hadn’t had, even in times like these where she might have been incapacitated. Different circumstances, different ways to cope. He had to wonder what she’d make of things now, with Diaz and all his cronies decidedly out of the picture. Would she have ever thought her Earth 1 counterpart capable, weak as she’d thought Laurel was?

“We need to get her to the Bunker. Treat her injuries.” Oliver was loath to let her go, but he needed to bring his bike back to the base as well. He placed her carefully onto one of the long seats in the back of the van and strapped her in with the seatbelts.

“I’ll be careful,” John promised before he could even ask.

“Thank you.”

He sped back to the base, using the headset in his helmet to place a call to Lance asking him to come down with William. It was going to have to be a later night than he’d anticipated for his son, but Oliver needed to keep an eye on both situations, so it just couldn’t be helped.

He arrived in time to carry her down as John went ahead to get the medical cot ready. Curtis stood as he brought her into the room.

“Okay, just- just right into the Bunker. We’re just going all in.”

“It’s her, Curtis.” He was about reaching his limit with having to insist this.

John bandaged the cut and wrapped her ankle. “We’ll wait a little longer, see if she can wake up on her own.”

Oliver nodded. He took up Laurel’s hand and stood sentry as Curtis slowly moved back to the computers and John went into the back to change out of his suit.

Rene and Dinah arrived and also went to change, skirting around Laurel’s medical cot. Just as they both disappeared into the back, Laurel’s head turned and her fingers flexed in his hold.

“Mnff.” She made a face and squinted up at the overhead light.

“Laurel?”

“...Ollie?”

He quickly motioned John to come over, and as his friend moved into her field of vision, he saw her eyes light up. “John.”

John paused for just a moment. “Laurel. How are you feeling?”

“Like I hit my head pretty bad.”

“That’s cause you probably did. Let me check your vision.” He helped her to sit up and started shining a light and running a few small tests. As John moved through them, Oliver could see his growing confidence in Laurel’s true identity.

Dinah and Rene returned, both of them choosing to hang back with Curtis.

“Seems like you avoided the worst of a concussion,” John remarked.

“Well, that’s good.” Laurel squeezed Oliver’s hand briefly since he was still holding it and smiled up at both of them. Her gaze ended up focusing on John. “I’m really glad to see you.”

“You too. The real you,” John told her with a smile.

The elevator dinged again as the doors opened, and William hurried up to the platform they were on. “Dad?”

“Hey, buddy.” He left Laurel’s side for a moment in order to crouch down and hug his son. “How was practice?”

“Good. What’s going on?” William looked over his shoulder, seeming uncertain. Oliver turned and saw Laurel watching them with both confusion and interest. Of course, the last she had known he had sent William away to safety with Samantha. If only that could have lasted for them both.

He brought William over with a hand on his shoulder. “We’re just helping a friend. Will, you remember what I told you about my friend, Laurel?”

Oliver slowly brought William closer with him. Laurel sat up a little straighter. “Hi, William. It’s good to see you again.”

William cocked his head. “I thought you died.”

Oliver winced, but Laurel seemed to take the question innocently as it was. “Well, I did. And now I’m alive again.”

“Yeah, she and her sister are both good at that.” Quentin walked up to his daughter’s bedside. “They’re also both good at getting themselves into trouble and worrying me half to death.”

“Sorry, dad.” Laurel winced a little when Quentin rested a hand over the bandage on her forehead.

“So what happened here?”

“A bit of metal. From a building?” Laurel admitted.

“Whose building?”

“I… don’t actually know. This guy with some dragon tattoos on his neck?”

Quentin gaped at her. “You walked right into Diaz’s—”

“I wasn’t trying to. He picked me up. Then he was talking about taking over the city and getting rid of Oliver, so I couldn’t really let that happen.”

Oliver looked down, trying to hide a smile at her matter-of-fact explanation. Trust Laurel to stumble on the annual terrorist threat and cut it off at the knees. That she’d been concerned about him specifically filled him with a sense of familiar comfort.

Quentin was shaking his head. “Of all the things! And what exactly made you take off earlier, huh?”

Laurel’s eyes darted briefly in Oliver’s direction before she looked down. “I guess I just needed to walk around a bit to get my bearings. And I — oh, Curtis,” Laurel said, spotting the man when she turned her head. “Did you join the team full-time?”

“Uh, yeah,” Curtis replied, coming forward a little. “I’m Mister Terrific.”

“That’s pretty terrific,” she remarked. “I, um, don’t think I know either of you two.”

Rene took one step forward. “Rene. Codename is Wild Dog.”

“Funny, I trained with a Wildcat,” Laurel told him with a smile. “And you?” She asked Dinah.

Dinah shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.” Then she turned and walked to the elevator.

Laurel’s smile fell, and she looked back at Oliver. “Did I say something wrong?”

He gave a quick shake of the head. “It’s not your fault. I’ll just—” He patted William on the shoulder once before heading to intercept Dinah. Oliver made sure to keep his voice lowered. “Hey, I know you’re upset about Siren being in the wind.”

“Yeah, I am,” Dinah replied, having the courtesy to use a similar volume. “Look, your Laurel… you’re right, she’s everything you said she was. But I can’t look at her knowing what she — what the other her did to Vince.”

Oliver bowed his head. “That’s fair. What does that mean about your place on the team?”

She smirked. “What place? I’m not needed anymore, am I? Felicity wasn’t the only one you’ve been using as a replacement.”

“I…” He wished he could say something for himself, something that made it seem kinder.

“Look, I appreciate what I did here with you all. But I need to find my own path and my own closure.” She pushed the button for the elevator. “Try not to screw whatever you had with her up this time, okay? You’re running out of fallback girls.”

“Right,” he agreed with chagrin. Dinah stepped into the open elevator and gave a short wave as the doors closed.

Oliver rejoined the others, and Laurel asked, “Is everything okay?”

“It is. That was Dinah.”

“Dinah Drake? The one that hates my doppelganger?”

At his surprised look, Laurel added, “Diaz or whatever his name was mentioned.”

“Oh. Well, yes. She doesn’t blame you, but she’s going to be taking some time to herself. Off the team.”

Rene grimaced and nodded, seeming to have expected it. John looked about the same, and Curtis sighed.

Laurel, for her part, groaned. “I’m screwing everything up for you.” She placed her face in her hands and mumbled, nearly inarticulately, “She shouldn’t have brought me back.”

Oliver felt his heart miss a beat. “Can we have the room?”

Rene and Curtis granted the request easily enough, and John willingly took charge of William. Quentin lingered, but when Oliver sent him a meaningful look, the other man seemed to understand and also made himself scarce. Oliver brought Curtis’ chair over to Laurel’s bedside so that they were on a more even level.

“What do you mean?” When she just looked at him, Oliver continued, “You’re not screwing anything up. Dinah was, she was spiraling because of a personal loss. Hopefully, your doppelganger being gone will give her the space to grieve properly. And even if it doesn’t, that certainly doesn’t qualify as ‘everything’.”

“I heard you and dad talking,” Laurel admitted. “About how you felt. And… about Felicity.”

Oliver’s eyes squeezed shut. That’s why she had fled. Laurel had heard him voicing his internal worries and regrets and had interpreted it to mean she was the problem. Not how he’d handled losing her and leaning on other people to fill her role in his life.

“None of that is your fault,” he told her. “And no amount of changes in my life as a result of you being here would ever make me wish you weren’t. I’m grateful for what she did, whatever her reasons.” He doubted it had been with him in mind. Oliver took one of Laurel’s hands. “And I’m grateful for the changes. They needed to happen. I wasn’t being honest to Felicity, and I was expecting Dinah to be someone she isn’t. Because no one else is you, Laurel. Not even your doppelganger from another Earth.”

She licked her lips and looked down at their joined hands. “What happens now?”

“Well, now I’m thinking we need to see how everything works out with Diaz’s incarceration. We’ll have to remove the officers and public officials he had in his pocket and vet the ones he was threatening to see if they can be safely kept on or not,” Oliver listed off. “Then, once all of that is done and your ankle’s healed up and we’ve made sure you don’t have a concussion or anything, I think I’m going to take you on a date.”

Laurel looked up at that. “Ollie, you don’t — is that really going to work? What about William? I’m not saying you have to stay with Felicity if you don’t want to, but he’s used to her by now. He needs time to adjust before some other woman just waltzes into his life.”

Oliver wondered if she realized that his son being her first concern was only proof positive that it very well could work. “I know. But we’ll take it slow. Introduce you to him over time. I want to do this right, Laurel, for both of you. For us. I love you, and I can’t lie about that anymore when I’ve been given a chance like this.”

She stared at him, watching his face for some kind of hesitance or indecision. At last, she gave the slightest nod. “Okay.”

He half-stood to meet her lips in a slow kiss, one that was more about breathing the other in than it was about mouths moving against each other’s. Laurel’s hands rose up to cradle his face and he placed his own at the back of her head, holding her there. He caressed her gently, mindful of her injuries but also half-terrified it all might disappear if he made too sudden a movement.

“Well, I’d say you’ve made your intentions pretty clear,” Laurel murmured in the space between them.

Oliver hummed in the affirmative. “And you’ve once again saved my ass. All in a day’s work. I’ve missed that. I’ve missed you, Pretty Bird.”

Laurel paused. “What was that?”

He blinked and pulled back a little. “I don’t know. Your doppelganger called you a bird or birdie a lot. I guess I just — sorry.”

Laurel shook her head. “No, I like it.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth for a single moment, then asked, “Say it again?”

He found himself smiling as he leaned back in, ghosting the words over her lips. “Pretty Bird.”

Their various tasks and responsibilities would catch up to them soon enough, but for this moment, it was just the two of them.

[afterspark-podcast]

Transformers (2007): Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And now I'm just imagining him showing up at this little old grandma's house, ripping up the house and being like, “HOW DARE YOU!?!”

[Intro Music]

S: Welcome... to hell!

O: It’s time.  It’s time for the Bay movies guys.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Welcome to our first anniversary special with the 2007 Transformers film!

O: Shall we talk about giant robots? [dissolves into laughter]

S: Yeah.  Let's talk about giant robots, though we may be very unhappy by the end of this.

O: So first, an info dump, for what is most likely a refresher for the majority of you folks but a- the live-action Transformers movie was directed by [deadpan] Michael Bay and uh, starring Shia LaBeouf.

S: The movie did incredibly well at the box office and introduced a lot of people to the franchise and um, these people may have been unaware of it [the Transformers franchise] before or hadn't seen a prior but it was an introduction at least for most.

O: Which is probably the most positive thing that we can say about this movie.  The movie franchise is likely the main reason we got the Transformers Prime TV series and even brought more readers to the first IDW comic run.  Which maybe wasn't super great at the time the movie came out, but got way better! [laughs]

S: Yeah, I mean, IDW also had comics based on the movie, in addition to the main IDW G1-

O: And I haven’t read those yet, but yeah.

S: I don't think we've made our disdain for this movie a secret but just in case, neither of us enjoy this movie.

O: Like, at all.

S: So if you personally like this movie this episode may not be for you.  Um, we're sorry guys.

O: [laughs] We are, actually, because I- I know there are people out there who like it.  We're not those people, but we will be back for a normal G1 schtick later, so uh, please join us then.

S: That isn't to say that there hasn't been excellent fanfiction based off of this.

O: Eh, fanfiction, fanart-

S: Um-hm.

O: Oh my god, there- there was this one I saw the other day where somebody did like, a Transformers Animated of ah, Last Knight Megatron-

S: Oh!

O: -and I was like, “I legitimately like that!  Good job, you!”

S: There’s some excellent fan work based on these movies.

O: Yeah, like, just hands down, but um...  Well, down to brass tacks Specs, what was your first experience with this movie like?

S: Hmm, ah, well let's go back in time, shall we?

O: [makes woo noises]

S: So I didn't see it in theaters.  Ah, my first experience with this movie was getting it for my birthday... yay.

B: [laughter]

O: Yay.

S: I watched it and um, and was like, “Okay... that was a thing.  It exists, um, Bumblebee peed on a guy.” And I watched this with my parents, I'll have you know!

O: And it- it's way funnier when you know her parents, who are extremely Catholic and her mother who is extremely Irish Catholic and imagining them watching this movie with her is hysterical .

S: My mom doesn't like sci-fi to begin with-

O: Yeah, right!  And then, all of this was happening!

S: Yeah, my- my dad probably enjoyed it more because he likes explosions and stuff.

O: [laughs] He's a nice guy but he is- he- he, he's a simple man.  He has simple criteria for the things he enjoys and I can respect that.

S: He actually really likes Terry Pratchett but let’s-

O: Oh, yes.

S: -let's get back to this.  Uh, I don't think I uh, rewatched it for a while because uh, high school was happening and I had better things to be doing.  You know, like reading fanfic or doing homework. Homework was more enjoyable than this.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] So I found the movie mostly just disappointing.  While it did breathe new life into the fandom it seemed like most of the pre-existing fans that I- you know, knew or followed or was aware of, were disappointed by the designs and the story on like- specifically on the forum that I was frequenting at the time.  Other people loved it and I mean, it did create a new influx of fans, so... that's a positive thing.

I was also super annoyed by the lack of Arcee because there was a decent toy of her and I own it.  It's the only Bayverse toy I own, and then they had Arcee and two other characters that shared the same mold show up in the second movie and then die.

O: And- and these were not the same mold as the toy she [Specs] owns.

S:  Yes.

O: To make this even weirder, like, Arcee did have a design apparently [in the first movie].

S: Yes, she was a nice motorcycle.  She had legs in the first- for the first movie toy and then… then she was a unicycle thing-

O: Mm-hmm.

S: -in the second movie and then they all died.  And I don't own any other toys from ah- from the Bayverse franchise, so let's go over to you.

O: Eh-heh-heh-ha!  So, to my memory I first saw this in high school.  I want to say it may have actually been something they showed at school?  [My SO seems to remember the same thing, so this was probably the case. ~O]

And in direct contrast to Specs, I went to public school in a rural area, no one gave a shit, so...  I- I saw the second one in theaters, but I legitimately do not remember where I saw the first one. Uh, for the record, I thought it was fine!  I had zero reference, beyond a foggy memory of Beast Machines- not even Beast Wars guys, Beast Machines.  And hadn't seen G1 at all.  I very vaguely knew who Optimus Prime was and pretty much nobody else.

No, it would take over a decade before this film franchise filled me with seething rage.

S: And you didn't even get into the fandom, when I tried interesting you in it.  You got into it by yourself!

O: [laughs] I know!  She tried! She tried in college! [laughs] Which is why, I was like, “Hey, I want to watch Beast Wars!” It was like, not looking where I was going and walking off a cliff!  [laughs]

S: Pretty much, and then I just threw TV shows at you.

O: She just like, thew DVD’s down the cliff at me! [continues laughing]

S: And comics.

O: Which I mean...I didn’t really mind...but I love that description so much.

S: [laughs]

O: But, uh, all of this aside, I will be saying my media recommendation for the day here, instead of at the end.  I strongly recommend watching Lindsey Ellis’, “The Whole Plate.” Which is a series about film studies through the lens of Transformers.  Not only is excellent breaking these movies down in the context of film, and film theory, but it's informative and done by someone else who clearly loves Transformers.

Pretty sure her favorite is Starscream, but I also think I saw a Wheeljack in the background of one of her videos, but do not quote me on that.  Uh, it is at least partially due to Lindsey I started watching G1. Uh, the other YouTube culprit I'll likely recommend in a different video, heh, but needless to say she certainly didn't hurt.  I'd been watching her, “Whole Plate,” series since 2017 so... over a year before I made that so fateful decision to borrow Beast Wars.

This recommendation also comes caveat: Because I've watched her videos, I know I've been heavily influenced by them and... it is likely I will talk about some of the same points that she's made... while we're going through this movie.  So just, if- eh, this is me so this is me, um, cite--this is me giving you my citation for ah, my work, essentially.

Go watch Lindsey Ellis’ videos, they're fantastic.

S: And I suppose to counterpoint, I haven't seen any of her videos.  So anything that I talk about that ends up accidentally being something that comes up in here is an accident.

O: The only- I think I showed you the- the Megan Fox video.

S: You might have, but at this point it's been so long ago that-

O: [quietly]  That’s true..

S: -that I probably don't remember, or almost certainly don’t.

O: Fair!  Anyway, definitely go- go, uh, watch her, because she's interesting.  I-I feel like there’s- I’ve seen posts that like, seem like at least some people don't like her.  So, I don't know what's going on there and I don't really want to find out. So if it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing and that's fine.    Well! Ready for the movie?

S: Say it isn't so, but yes, yes I am.

O: [laughs] Here we go!

S: [sighs]  We open with some opening narration by Optimus Prime played by Peter Cullen of the da--

O: -of Optimus Prime? [laughs]

S: Well, I was gonna say, “of the days of old.”

O: [laughs louder]  Okay, fair! And I don't- I don’t care if he mostly in a cartoon voice over work, he is too good for this fucking movie!

S: He is.  He gives us the backstory for Cybertron and the Autobot/Decepticon war and I think, you see someone spearing someone else with something in this…

O: It wouldn’t shock me.  Something called the AllSpark is super important and they send it off planet to keep the Decepticons from getting it.

S: The Autobots couldn’t keep track of it either.  They did not think this through.

O: Of course, it landed on an unknown planet, Eii-arth!

S: [snickers] Megatron apparently followed the AllSpark but pulled a Skyfire and got frozen in the Arctic, where he was found by a team of explorers led by Captain Archibald Witwicky.  Doesn't that just sound like a manly man.

O: [laughing]  He is!

S: The part of Skyfire will be played by Megatron in this movie.

O: Make sure to properly chill your Decepticon warlord for at least a couple of decades before serving.

S: Don't you mean a couple thousand years?

O: Shush!

B: [laugh]

S: Meanwhile, Skyfire’s sir not appearing in this picture.

O: Also, don't be fooled by the opening guys!  Sure, Optimus may be talking now but it won't last.  It'll be like, what? An hour before we get any more giant robots talking?

S: Probably.  We cut to the Middle East in the um, ‘present’ day.

O: Well, present day ten years ago anyway.

S: It's soldiers doing transportation stuff on a military base... and a guy wants to eat alligators.

O: Fuck yeah, America- am I right!?!

S: It’s cuisine.  The military partially funded these movies if anybody was unaware this really helps explain their presence in the movie series.

O: That and Bay's HUGE fuckin’ boner for ‘em.

S: The soldiers here are some of the better characters in the movie.  They're funny, they work well off each other, and you know, [gasp] feel like they’re friends.

O: What a concept.  An unknown helicopter lands at the base, transforming into a giant robot and starting to destroy said base.

S: The Decepticons apparently want US military codes or they're trying to find the AllSpark location, or something.

O: I can't help but think of Soundwave was here this would have been done so much more competently.  Even Soundwave- even movie Soundwave is still competent.

S: Oh, probably.  Uh, the Decepticon is Blackout by the way, who- I'm not sure we ever see or hear him talk?

O:  Yeah, like, we might hear him talk in Cybertronian at the very end of the movie like, when it's like, doing the all the Decepticons gettin’ ready.

S: Hmm.

O: Um…

S: Maybe.

O: He never really is a character, um, but I hope you're ready for shaky cam video of this robot and not getting a good look at him!

S: Oh!  Flying tanks, how novel.

O: [laughs] They fail to fight off the Decepticon and a small group of soldiers manages to escape the base, but not without being followed by Scorpinok.

S: Who is released by, um, Blackout cuz apparently he's his pet or something-

O: Something like that.  The only thing you need to remember about this is that the main soldier is Lennox, and he is leading the group.  The other characters have names. I had to look them up.

S: Yeah, they aren’t very big characters, unfortunately.  It would have been more entertaining if-

B: -they were.

S: [sighs] And then suddenly we're at a high school.

O: Following a teenage boy who's gonna try to hawk his great-great-great-something-grandfather’s shit in the middle of class.

S: [sighs] Why is he hawking shit?  Because he wants to seduce the hottie by getting a car, either that, or that is merely a side effect of getting a car that he hopes will happen.

O: Mikaela is way too good for him.

S: She is.

O: He blabs on about how his something-grandfather, Captain Archibald Witwicky was the first man to explore the Arctic.

S: Never mind that there were already people living there.

O: He was the first white idiot to make it up there and not die?

S: Possibly.

O: [laughs]

S: We're introduced to the glasses of plot here.  They're not particularly relevant right now, but they will be later!

O:  Notice those weird etchings on the lenses?  That's- that's a thing!

S: Keep these in mind.  Put a pin in it. But right now, Sam is talking about selling his stuff on eBay.

O: ~ Ladies~ he takes Paypal. [laughs]

S: The bell rings and the rest of the class leaves as Sam talks to his teacher.  Proceeding to be a total freaking dumb ass by guilting his teacher into giving him a better grade than he deserved, because otherwise his dad won't help him buy a car.

O: And remember, this is supposed to be the character we’re identifying with.  Thanks! I hate it.

S: [sighs] You know, and after meeting Sam's dad, his behavior makes a lot more sense.  Clearly he gets dickish behavior from said dad.

O: His dad drives him through a Porsche dealer to make him think he's buying Sam a Porsche, which just kind of seems like a dick move.  They proceed to show up at a used-car lot with, uh, Sam spying a mysterious Camaro, which is Bee in this.

S: Like, Bumblebee was actually following them into the car lot which is kind of funny-

O: Yeah, but- but they didn't really see him until he parked in the car lot.

S: Yeah, I guess uh, they had to make him cooler for the 2000’s.

O: You know, I always liked the little Volkswagon bugs when I was in high school around this timeframe.  I still do, they're adorable!

S: They're cute.  Unfortunately, they're not sexy enough for a teenage boy in the mid-2000s.

O: [sighs] No, but they were sexy enough for a teenage boy in the 80’s.

S: [laughs] Yes, but that was when he knew it was his- it was friend shaped.

O: [laughs] Oh-

S: Bumblebee is-

O: G1 Bumblebee is so friend shaped.

S: He is.  He's friend shaped to everyone except Megatron, really.  Well, all of the Decpti-

O: No, he’s friend shaped to Megatron in the comics too!

S: Oh god, well, are we talking IDW comic or the original?

O: I was talking about the- I was talking about the- the plot in IDW, yeah. [laughs] Mostly I just thought was funny because his design is very, very similar in that toG1-

S: Yeah-

O: And I was like, yeah that’s pretty funny though.

S: Yeah, you're right he was very friend shaped in that.

O: He is friend shaped to everybody.

S: But in the Marvel Comics he's not friend shaped to the Decepticons.

O: Oh no, nobody's friend shaped in the Marvel comic. [laughs]  Are you kidding me?

S: Ah, ah, Bee’s been following this kid around for a while and the car salesman clearly has never seen this damn car in his life, but he's still gonna try and sell it.

O: I-I mean given that it is his car lot, I can’t- I’m not sure I can fault him on this decision really? [laughs]

S: Well, it’s not honest.

O: [laughs] No.

S: And he's like, “I'm honest- whatever.”  I think he has, “honesty,” actually on a sign somewhere.

O: [continues to laugh]

S: I don't know, it's not- it doesn't really matter.  And, um, there's also an ostrich here. Why is there an ostrich!?!

O: I think he has a petting zoo or something, I don’t know.

S: He is down to make that dough.

O: Very.

S: Bee also comes with racing stripes.

O: We all know that makes him go faster, Specs!

S: [snorts]

O: [laughs]

S: Amongst other things, Bee contains a bee air freshener, that says “BEE-OTCH,” a small disco ball, and a weird lion bobblehead, that I thought was a small taxidermied animal at first.

O: [laughs] And we didn’t even see it till our second walk- er, watch through either!  Just to make this more ridiculous!

S: Yeah, it vanishes so I gather Spike didn’t- oh god, not Spike-

O: No, this isn’t Spike, it would probably be better if it was!

S: Yeah.  Sam didn't think it was too hot either.

O: Yeah, but uh, this whole bit, just feels creepy.  Sam's gonna buy Bumblebee, a living, thinking, being, whose intelligence definitely surpasses his own.

S: And let's compare this to Charlie from the Bumblebee movie, who's trying to rebuild a car by herself with no support from her family and then there's Sam.  And I mean, okay, yeah, she does get Bumblebee, basically- basically in a transaction. She does kind of buy him, but when she realizes that he's a person, she treats him like a person.

O: Exactly, and Sam is just this entitled little rich kid living in a nice house and has everything handed to him in Southern California!   I don't know what his parents do, but clearly they make good fucking money!

S: I don't know what they do.

O: Me either!

S: Bee is even parked next to a VW Bug, an old one.  Which he will then proceed to wreck.

O: I feel like this is the start to Michael Bay being like why do you like, “Why do you like that nerdy shit?  Come look at boobs, tits, and nice cars. These are the only things that are really important.” This will be the hill I die on.

S: [sighs] I don’t understand Michael Bay.

O: If you didn’t like this, why did you do it!?!  I know the answer is money.

S: Money is-

O: But you can at least do it enjoyably!

S: Yeah, well, money is the root of a lot of... stuff.  Speaking of, Bee is... very much a dick here. He destroys this guy's entire lot of cars, or at least all their windows.  Because he emits a supersonic noise and you know, busts all the windows in an effort to get Sam to buy him or get the guy to sell him to Sam-

O: For a cheaper price, basically.

S: Yeah.

O: Cutting to the Pentagon, the Secretary of Defense is briefing a team of technicians who will be attempting to decode the Decepticon signal they got from Blackout earlier. (Kind of.)

S: One of them is a very intelligent young woman named Maggie.

O: Who will proceed to be shot like another piece of tits and ass, like all the pretty woman in this movie.  Oh, and if you're not young and pretty in this movie series you're basically just a harpy.

S: [sighs] And after this movie we will never see her again.  Which might imply that she has more longevity than Sam.

O: Smart girl.  At Sam’s house, we’re introduced to his mom, his dog, and some casual sexism.

S: We're not allowed to put girl jewelry on a male dog in this house, are we?

O: Of course not!  What would the men think?  That jewelry is awesome and they're totally allowed to wear it.  Yeah, actually let's do that- that sounds way better.

S: [sighs] But don't worry if you think Mojo [Sam’s dog] is emasculated or something.  Later movies will have him humping absolutely everything.

O: Yeah, because that's what I want to watch in a movie about giant alien robots!

S: Admittedly, these movies aren't particularly about giant alien robots.  They’re-

O: No, they're like- about Sam's love life and explosions [snickers].

S: Or whatever the human lead’s love life.

O: [quietly] True.

S: That's- that’s typically how it runs. [sighs] Back to the army guys again.  They're still attempting to escape Scorponok. Except they don't know that Scorponok’s following them.

O: No, but they're like, trying to get away from the base.

S: They're trying to get somewhere where they can contact help, I think? So they're making their way through the desert, with this young kid that showed up at the very beginning of the movie and was like, “Hi!  You're my friends, I'm bringing you something.” And he escaped with them.

O: Yup.  They decide they need to get their intel back to Pentagon as soon as possible.

S: And in our other movie, Sam's friend is a moron, and Mikaela's boyfriend is a dick, just a beefier dick than Sam.

O: So infuriating, this should be relatable.  I was the weirdo in high school! But no, I still just want to strangle Sam with my bare hands.

S: And- well, honestly, Miles (Sam's friend) isn't really a moron.  He's just acting like an actual teenage boy.

O: [laughs]

S: [huffs] He's climbing trees and entering cars through the window and then in the next scene when we see that, the door is open?  So he like, dived through the door?

O: Continuity.  Continuity is not a thing, Specs.

B: [laugh]

S: [sighs] Sam proceeds to bait Mikaela's jock boyfriend to satisfy his own ego, but just barely manages to avoid a knuckle sandwich.

O: UNFORTUNATELY.  Said boyfriend then proceeds to treat Mikaela like property.

S: He won't even let her ride in the front seat of his truck.  She knows significantly more about trucks than you do, you asshole!  She could probably-

O: Oh, she could run circles around this asshole.

S: Well no, I was thinking she could probably you know, set something up so that his truck killed him.

O: Ah-ha-ha, there we go!  That's the movie- that's the movie Mikaela should have been in.

S: Well, I mean, Megan Fox- she is apparently good in Jennifer's Body.  Sam boots his friend out of Bumblebee so that he can offer... Mikaela a ride home.

O: It’s shitty to strand your friend like this, dude.

S: It's especially shitty, because the car has backseat.

O: And he couldn't shove his friend back there.

S: [quietly] Yeah.

O: Mikaela reluctantly accepts and Bee has decided to become Sam's wingman, apparently.

S: I'm assuming he knows what teenagers do in cars, but really, does he actually understand what teenagers do in cars!?!

O: [while laughing] Um, I'm-I’m not sure to be honest.

S: Well, considering they apparently learned English from the internet.

O: Yeah, you’d think there’d be some porn thrown in there.

S: I’d assume so.  Um, he breaks down causing Mikaela to open his hood and check the engine.

O: And what kills me, is that she's saying relevant things throughout the scene but the way she's shot, she's not treated like a person, she's treated like a-a-an object to be viewed essentially, and it is very frustrating. I know we could assume that it's from Sam's perspective, but boy does this get old.

S: It gets really old.  Sam asks her about why she hangs out with her boyfriend.  Of course, he phrases it like, strongly hinting that she should hang out with him instead.  And Mikaela can totally tell that he's doing that so she's like, “I'm out,” and starts walking off.

O: But Bee suddenly starts working again so Sam's able to convince her to at least let him finish driving her home.

S: She'd have probably had a better time walking home, let's be real.

O: Probably.

S: Except she might have had really uncomfy shoes...

O: Eh, except like, it was sunset, and it was night by the time they got home.  So I have to ask, how far out of town were they?

S: That's a good point.  Um, and then we get Sam saying uh, [sighs] that, “There's more than meets the eye,” about the Mikaela.

O: Why does this just feel like another slap in the face of the original series?

S: Probably because it is, and on to Air Force One.  Frenzy, who's apparently someone's carry on here, because he's a boombox in this and was actually under someone's seat.

O: Or!  You could choose to imagine him walking onto the onto the plane himself.  Just thing about this little radio, who’s got teeny tiny little legs, and walks on the plane.  It's way funnier!  Also, did he steal Soundwave’s alt!?!

S: That is a fun thing, but yeah.  Hello president who is obviously Bush!  Whose face we don't see, but unfortunately we get to see his besoc- besocked feet.

O: He wants a ding dong.

S: [sighs]

O: Betcha do!  Uh, Frenzy attempts to get data from the military database by way of Air Force One, but he’s caught while doing this, and so the Secret Service shoots at him.

S: The Secret Service apparently didn't get the 4-1-1 on what you don't do on a plane.  You don't shoot shit on a plane. You really don't wanna do that. It just leads for a bad time, for everyone, very briefly.

O: [laughing] Yup!  Very short lives!

S: Either that, or they're lucky and they manage to make a safe landing but... you don't want-

O: Do you really- do you really want to risk that?  No.

S: No, you don't want catastrophic decompression on a plane.

O: No you don’t.

S: I mean, who knows, maybe Air Force One is better... built?  Once they uh, basically, they end up taking the plane down, uh, in an emergency landing, because shots fired or whatever.  Then once they bring the plane down, Frenzy is able to sneak off the plane through the a- he goes down like, the doors that the wheels go out and then it's just funny.

O: It is.

S: Yeah, he goes over to Barricade after that.

O: Barricade’s a police car.  He will be more relevant later, but uh- you have any doubts that this little thing was Frenzy, you just need to see that little walk off the plane and you will know.

S: Cuz he- he's got like, his hand up to hide his face.

O: Yeah, like he’s- he’s like, trying to be nonchalant.  Like, after they thought he was trying to kill the president it is delightful.

S: Mm-hmm and Frenzy is smarter than the- the Secret Service on this plane because he had like, shurikens.

O: Yeah!  Once he's in Barricade he pulls up the eBay listings for Sam's Grandpa's glasses and says, “We must find LadiesMan217!”

S: Why did he pick that username?

O: I don't know, but I legitimately find it hilarious every time a Cybertronian has to shout it in this movie.  I know he said it in like, Cybertronian there, it is still great.

S: Oh Sam’s ego, but yeah, it is really funny anytime a robot shouts that.  At Sam's house, Bee apparently has got places to be. So he just, you know, turns on his own ignition and then drives off by himself.

O: This awakens Sam, who then goes chasing after his own car on his bike.

S: And call- he calls the police.  Sam calls the police to report that his car is being stolen.  Going so far as to remind them that his dad is the head of the neighborhood watch.

O: Well, if you needed a another reminder that Sam is a rich white boy, there you go.

S: [sighs] Yeah…

O: Sam finally catches up with Bee, who's standing some distance away beaming the bat signal- I mean the Autobot signal some kind of signal-er, some kind of signal into space.

S: Sam starts recording all of this on his shitty flip phone, and thinking that he's going to die the first words out of his mouth are, “Porn’s not mine, it's Miles’!”

O: Oh yes, that's the last image I'd want to leave my own mother with. Talking about your erections, lovely.

S: Considering one of the conversations that happens later…

O: It may be were relevant than I want to imagine, yeah.  Mm-hmm. Moving on!

S: Yeah.  Sam is then chased by some good doggos, who managed to get free of their uh, basically they weren’t very well contained.

O: Yep.

S: But the poor puppies are denied their midnight snack as Bumblebee bursts in and save[s] him and you don't really see the dogs go away.  They just start aren’t there anymore.

O: [laughs] And despite thinking his car’s alive, he shouts something that they, “Can keep the car!” and chunks his keys at Bee.

S: I don't even know what the building they're in even is, cuz he goes into a building and then suddenly it seems like they're not in a building anymore and it's... what's going on?

O: Yeah… Um, Sam's arrested when the cops show up for making a false 9-1-1 call because his car is obviously right there.

S: Yep, and it's not like there was any evidence of other people around.

O: There weren’t.

S: At the Pentagon with some assholes, including the Secretary of Defense and our- Maggie, our pretty lady analyst.  Maggie proceeds to sneak into a very high up meeting basically to say, “The system is alive!”

O: Which is completely insane in any other context, except this movie, where she is technically right, but it still sounds like a pretty insane context-

S: Yeah.

O: Er, sane- sounds like pretty insane an idea.

S: She kind of gets kicked out... of the meeting.

O: Yeah.

S: But she's right, and she will be vindicated later.  And, um, I hate the color balancing in this movie everything is so orange and blue.  It looks like everyone's skin tone is basically, you know, orange and like, they all have really bad spray tans?  Or at least all the white people do. None of the black people in this movie really have to deal with looking like an orange.

O: They may still have orange light on them, but it's not quite the same way.

S: Yeah, and now it's police time.

O: Where we've made Sam do a pee test, and then they hold up a bottle that says, “Mojo,” on it and they're interrogating him about it.  Mojo, as previously stated... is his dog and it is very likely that the bottle would say, “canine,” on it because that's how it worked when I had to pick up medication for my cat from the pharmacy. [Well, the cat’s was labelled ‘feline,’ but you know what we mean.]  So they're just being assholes.

S: And I mean, that looks like a legit prescription bottle.

O: Yeah.

S: So, I don't think most people keep their illegal drugs in legit prescription bottles.

O: [laughs] Fair, fair.

S: I mean, I have no personal experience but… [sighs]  And back to the Middle East with the soldier boys.

O: Scorponok attempts subtlety, only narrowly missing killing Lennox.

S: He does however succeed in killing the oblivious glasses guy, or maybe he doesn't kill him, maybe just badly injures him?  I don’t know.

O: I’m pretty sure he's dead because we don't see him for the rest of the movie.  If I'm wrong I apologize.

S: Okay, that's a good point.  The soldiers all book it and take shelter in and around these bombed out buildings.  Which is apparently the young boy's village. [sighs] They have brought hell down upon this small village and this will never be addressed.

O: The dad of the kid that's been helping them seems awfully nice, considering they have brought a giant mechanical scorpion to the front door.

S: Yup, that poor man does not deserve any of this shit.

O: Nope!

S: And here's one of the few legitimately funny scenes in this movie.

O: Lennox, has to call the Pentagon.  Which involves Lennox having to go back and forth with the most bored guy in a call center ever, but he also needs a credit card because it's a long-distance call.  A really long distance call.

S: He's able to get that credit card from Epps, one of the soldiers in his squad.

O: And this is all happening, while they're in the middle of a firefight.  So they're having to yell to be heard and stuff. Epps is also shooting at Scorponok, so Lennox has to grab the wallet off of Epps.

S: And so their conversation on how to navigate this is effectively a something like.  “It's in my back pocket!” “Which one!?!” “Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!” All while firing at Scorponok.  And apparently he's like- eh, Lennox is like, “You have like fifteen pockets!”

O: [laughs]  Which I feel like is legitimately funny!  And I just kind of wish I just didn’t have to like, be concerned, is this racism- with the call center guy looking and sounding Indian and I don't know, because that seems like something Michael Bay would do.

S: Yeah… yeah.  Jets and other military things have apparently been quickly scrambled and show up.

O: Including a military drone, just like what Soundwave turns into in Prime, so I was chuckling.

S: Explosions happen, and miraculously they don't appear to hit any civilians, somehow.  And then there's more shooting and more explosions-

O: And I get very bored.

S: And they're able to shoot off a part of Scorponok's tail, while the rest of Scorponok conveniently gets away.

O: They definitely thought this is important.  The music swells, things are happening in slow motion… you should be paying attention to this.

S: Basically, uh, the military guys get rescued and presumably no one does anything to help repair the damage that…

O: They've done to this village.

S: Yeah, we never hear about the young child again.

O: Nope!

S: [sighs] And back in America, Maggie has stolen intel from the Pentagon and uh, shows up on her friend Glen's doorstep.  And she- she hides it in her makeup case.

O: Which is pretty clever.  Also, he's apparently a master hacker!

S: Yup.  He pulls out some bullshit program that basically auh, you know, pulls, “It's alive!” from the Decepticon audio data Maggie brought over.

O: Which is about the point the feds show up with the SWAT team and arrest them both.

S: Yeah.  Bee shows a back up at Sam's house presumably just to fuck with Sam which at this point really does seem like a Bee thing to do in this movie.

O: Yeah… Bee’s kind of a dick.

S: Sam escapes on his mom’s bike.

O: Why does his mom have a bike that looks like it belongs to a five-year-old!?!  I mean, like- look, I'm not saying don't do you, cuz do you, but- but- but… his mom confuses me.

S: Apparently, she's just a very girly girl who... has a basket that needs to have a pillow in it.  Maybe she takes Mojo for bike rides?

O: I would believe that.

S: I could see her doing that considering that she does put jewelry on him.  She makes him a handsome boy.

O: She does.

S: [sighs] Oh god, so now Sam is running away from his own car, like a crazy person and then uh, runs into Mikaela who's out apparently having lunch.

O: A day, yeah.

S: Well, lunch with her friends.

O: Yeah!

S: She has normal friends, and Sam proceeds to look like a crazy person.

O: He thinks his car is chasing him.  The fact that he's right doesn't really play into how this looks right now.

S: Cuz yeah, he's- he's riding a very pink bike that--

O: Saying his car is chasing him.

S: Yeah.  Bee was definitely driving on the sidewalk, and probably on people's lawns for parts of this.

O: It was funny  Mikaela hops on her scooter because clearly she's like, “I guess I go- I guess I better go help this dumbass.”

S: Mikaela was just a very nice, responsible person.  She's- she's kind.

O: Yeah, she’s not the- like yeah, you don't really see her being mean.

S: She-

O: Even to Sam, even when Sam is being kind of a jerk earlier she's never outright mean to him.  She's done, very done, but you never really see her being mean to him with- unless he kind of deserved it like later.

S: Mikaela is a very kind person and unfortunately she doesn't- her character just doesn't get the recognition that she deserves.

O: No, she doesn’t.

S: [sighs]

O: Barricade catches up with Sam.

S: The police slogan on the side of his police car says- or his police car alt mode says. “To punish and enslave”.

O; What about being undercover, dude?

S: Well, be honest most people don't really pay much attention.

O: [quietly] True.

S: He dicks with Sam for a bit before transforming into robot mode and yelling, “Are you LadiesMan217!?!”

O: Really quickly, and it's amazing.  Sam runs away and knocks Mikaela off her scooter.

S: Sam, you dumbass, you could have really fucking hurt her, you jack ass.

O: Pretty much. [singing] ~Here Bee comes to save the dayyyyyy!~

S: Sam proceeds to pull a, “Come with me if you want to live,” to Mikaela, which... At this point, considering that he has now uh, conflated her with himself to the Decepticons probably- is probably true, yeah.

O: Fair.  They have a high-speed chase, somewhere in Southern California.

S: Bee gets them somewhere relatively isolated before dumping the two of them out and transforming to fight with Barricade and... is this still the middle of the day?  I- no this is at night, it’s night now.

O: It keeps kind of swapping, it's weird.  And then Frenzy hop-

S: How long where they… ?

O: I don't know how long this was going on, because it was like- it looked like it was mid-afternoon and they don't get dumped out till night, like the sun has set, night.

S: Like, jeez.

O: I don't know, heh, but Frenzy hops out of Barricade and attacks Sam and Mikaela.

S: [sighs] Sam manages to lose his goddamn pants in this altercation.

O: Of course he does.  Mikaela, being the badass that she is, grabs a fucking power tool and attacks Frenzy with it.  Cutting him into pieces!

S: Mikaela kicks ass, and she would have been a far better protagonist.  My heart weeps that this wasn't actually the reality.

O: Eh, that's okay they kind of did it in the Bumblebee movie.

S: Yeah.  Sam shows his bravery by... bravely kicking Frenzy’s head away.

O: Frenzy, using a second set of legs coming from his head... walks over to Mikaela’s purse, because she dropped it earlier, and then disguises himself as her cellphone.

S: After stabbing her, you know, her real cellphone.  Presumably to get data from it or something?

O: I would assume?  Yeah.

S: Otherwise it's gonna be a very bad disguise.  She opens it and is like, “Where are all my god damn contacts?”

B: [laugh]

O: Yeah, fair.

S: And then there's some crack about Bee being Japanese, once Sam finally gets his actual introduction to his, you know, ‘not a car’.

O: This should be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the original toys being created by the Japanese company Takara, but given Bay’s track record, I really have to wonder.  I know I keep bringing that up, but like, parts of this movie feel very uncomfortable to watch-

S: [quietly] Yeah.

O: -and certain racial stereotyping that he does not only in this movie, but even worse, honestly, in the sequels... just makes me feel really uncomfortable.

S: [quietly] Yeah. [normal volume]  They ride off in Bee, both Sam and Mikaela and not wanting to sit in the driver's seat because Bee is driving and... that wouldn't be polite somehow.

O: I'm not even going to comment on what I'm actually thinking.  Sam tries to pull off a slick move, telling Mikaela she should sit in his lap because there's only one other seat belt.

S: That's bad, if you're in an accident you're both gonna die.  Though, I mean, considering they’re both in a giant alien robot…

O: I mean their driver is a sentient alien robot, who's used to being a car, so hopefully that doesn't happen, right?

S: Mostly I'm just imagining that a giant alien robot car isn't going to have the same sort of, you know, safety tests-

O: Oh, safety precautions!?!  Ha! [laughs]

S: [trying not to laugh] Safety test results that an actual car-

O: [continues laughing]  That’s fair!

S: So who the hell knows how this would work!  Bee takes offense at being called a ‘piece-of-shit Camaro’.

O: Leading to him dumping them out, driving off without a driver, and then driving past a very conveniently placed newer yellow and black Camaro with the exact paint job he wants.  Because Michael Bay cares about very few things in this movie. Tits! And you, yes you! Driving a nice shiny car, because you are a man. A virale, sex having man!

B: [laugh]

O: Or at least that's what he's assuming!

S: Oh, and the way Bumblebee scans this car is kind of ridiculous cuz he’s- he’s up on two wheels driving like half on his side so he’s-

O:  Yeah, like on his side!  So he’s got to scan it with something like, on the bottom of his car mode???

S: Yeah, on his undercarriage and it's weird and silly.

O: And it’s just like, yeah, nobody saw this.  Sure!

S: Like, they're driving in a tunnel, there were definitely other people around, cuz people-

O: There definitely were!

S: Cuz people honked at them, people honked at them when Bumblebee dropped them off.  But yeah, let's go. Bee picks them up and they're like, “Oh wow, you could have done this anytime?” and then Bee precedes to take them trespassing so they can meet new people.

O: Where even are they?

S: I don’t know!  I don't think anyone knows.

O; Valid point.

S: Who knows, maybe they're in Oregon now.

O: [laughs] Yes!  They drove north. Very far north!

S: They could have if they were driving all day, I don’t know!  Either that or they were going around goddamn circles.

O: I'm willing to bet that actually.

S: And finally we're going to get more robots as um, meteorites rain down.  These robots being our Autobots.

O: Who will still not improve this movie enough to matter.

S: Which is so depressing.

O: It really is!

S: Mikaela and Sam hold hands because as uh, movie logic dictates- if you have a man and a woman who spend more than a few minutes uh, with one another they will be in love by the end of it.

O: Who cares!  The Autobots seriously fuck some shit up when they land on Earth!

S: Oh they do.  And not a single fuck was given, because they seriously have no idea what the fuck's going on.

O: A bunch of people are running around at several of the crash si- sites recording things too.

S: Um-hmm.  Recording stuff, and probably putting it on YouTube-

O: I would assume.

S: -or whatever in-universe equivalent of YouTube.

O: I think it's just YouTube, based on a sequel, but don't quote me on that.

S: Who knows, we even see Ratchet’s weird ambulance mode in the background of some of these shots.  So we can see where and when he scanned it.

O: Apparently, according to the TF Wiki, this is supposed to be a Hummer H2 rescue vehicle.  So not even technically an ambulance.

S: And then we see Jazz at a Cadillac dealership.

O: Isn’t he supposed to be a Porsche?

S: Yep.

O:  I mean, [sighs] why start being accurate with alts now, right?

S: Well, I'm going to assume that Cadillac paid for this product placement.

O: [laughs] Yeah…

S: Whereas, Porsche probably didn't give a shit.

O: And Porsche was already in there so they did pay money, but the Cadillacs probably paid more.

S: Probably, I don’t know. He's- yeah, he's not even a Cadillac.  Jazz is a Pontiac Solstice, so why are we even had a Cadillac dealership?

O: Money.  Ironhide however, is a huge fucking truck now.

S: A GMC Topkick.  He also apparently, uh- a little girl mistakes him for the tooth fairy.

O: It’s pretty cute actually. I gotta give them that.

S: Yep. Optimus lands on scams a conveniently placed semi.

O: [It] kills me that they copy the paint jobs.  I think I’d prefer if the paint jobs were something that were like, inherent to them, to their biology.  But no! There's another truck out there with blue paint and orange and red flames on the side, are you shitting me?

S: I mean…

O: Or on the front.

S: [snickers]  It's likelier than you think.  Does this mean that there is another cop car out there with, “Punish and enslave,” on the side, or it- was this some civilian’s idea of a cop cosplay?

O: [sighs] Well, we do see little details change like the Autobot signals [symbols] on Ratchet’s paint job.  So maybe that was a small enough detail to be changed. The only reason we even know the semi-truck’s paint job is because we saw a drive by.

S: Yeah. Uh, the Autobots show up in an alley where they meet up with uh, Bee, Sam, and Mikaela.

O: Optimus transforms, he's a Kenworth W900 truck in the live-action series.  Which looks somewhat different from his design from the cartoon which was based on a Freightliner WFT-8664T.

S: To make this more confusing they used an entirely different [truck] model while filming, but we're going with uh, Hasbro’s official answer here.

O: Namely, the Freightliner was a cab over truck and the Kenworth isn't.  It's a more traditional semi that you see stateside anyway.

S: He introduces the rest of the bots and their robot modes are also terrible.

O: Jazz apparently learned to speak from the Internets and knows the lingo.

S: Well, presumably they all did.  I think Jazz is the one who actually paid attention.

O: Yeah.

S: Ironhide, our weapons expert.

O: “I blow shit up!”

S: And [uneasy laugh] welcome to one of our least favorite lines ever and it's Ratchet’s introduction no less.

O: And I quote, “The boy’s pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.”

S: [quietly] Oh god.  Ugh...

O: I'd like to remind you all that Ratchet is uh, Specs’ favorite G1 character.  So this is particularly ughhh. [laughs] I’m so sorry.  Not like my faves really go- are handled any better to be fair, except maybe Soundwave.

S: We've also got to make it clear that he can't fix Bee.  So Ratchet zaps him with something or whatever.

O: They just need Powerglide to fix him, obviously!  With his magical ray of healing.

S: Yeah that'd probably do the trick.  Optimus puts on a laser light show to explain the plot to Sam.  And I mean, the laser light show was cool but... this seems like a really weird-

O: Weird place to do it?  But uh, he's Optimus Fucking Prime, he does what he wants.

S: This is all funnier to listen to once you realize just how young the Bayverse versions of Transformers are compared to their counterparts in any other continuity.  Optimus is like 10,000 years old, tops? Compared to the G1 versions, where everyone's like, millions of years old.

O: I would love to see G1 Megs’ reaction to us.  “You're how old!?! Sparklings! Why are sparklings in charge!?!”

S: Why are babies fighting?  Oh my god it's the baby war.

O: [singing to the tune of Muppet Babies] ~Robot babies!~ [laughs]

S: Oh god, the fact that there are actually, at least, a few crossovers that's basically Transformers babies.  Where they basically took a concept of Muppet Babies and did it with Transformers.

O: Oh lord, oh lord. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

S: Cause it’s- yeah, Megatron is Meggy.

O: [sighs]

S: I read those-

O: No.

S: -way back-

O: No.  I refuse to believe those exists.

S: [starts laughing]

O: I live in a world where those don’t exist because I haven’t seen them yet, and I don’t have object permanence!

B: [laugh]

S: Unfortunately, I can introduce you to things that will make you regret this fandom.

O: You would!  YOU WOULD! [laughs]

S: I’ve in this fandom since like, 2002!

O: You’re like, “Bitch, I been in this fandom for decades!”

S: Well, definitely more than decade at this point.  It will be two decades of-um, in like three years.

O: [laughs]

S: Optimus continues to explain that Megatron basically destroyed Cybertron.

O: Oh sure, blame Megatron for this.  Nevermind what we learn about Sentinel Prime later.

S: And in any case it takes two to tango, so…

O: Uh-huh.

S: It may not have been good if they've just rolled over and let Megatron do whatever the hell he wanted but…

O I don't really trust this Optimus either, soooo, you know.

S: Yeah.  It’s a war, both sides are going to do... a lot of shit.

O: Yup.

S: We get a bit better look at Megatron's design in the flashback, as Optimus continues to explain.

O: Thanks!  I hate it.

S: Megatron here just looks like a bipedal bag of knives.

O: And that sounds like the world's worst cryptid!

S: Optimus tell Sam um, that he may be Earth's only hope.

O: Help me Whitwicky, you're my only hope!

S: What a depressing hope.

O: Definitely!  So now it's time for the plot glasses, which apparently were imprinted with the coordinates for the AllSpark when Sam's great granddad whatever found Megatron.

S: I don't understand the mechanism that did this.

O: I don't either, just roll with it.

S: [sighs]

O: The movie is.

S: [groans] You know, the Decepticons could have literally just bid on the fucking auction for the glasses.

O: And I refuse to believe that, that is not exactly what Soundwave would have done if he was here, because that is the perfectly reasonable plan.

S: Or you know, literally just sending Frenzy to infiltrate his house.  Anything would have been better than what actually happened.

O: Pretty much.  But eBay!

S: That would have- it would have been way funnier if Soundwave had done the, you know, bidding on eBay robot- the robot war is literally a bidding war.

O: Yeah, and less things would have blown up. Michael Bay would have died from lack of explosions, but I- I think that's the price I'm willing to pay.

S: [sighs] Maggie and Glen get brought to the uh, Pentagon... maybe?  They're in some sort of holding cell waiting for interrogation.

O: Yeah... I get- I- I think it's the Pentagon, I'm not actually sure.

S: And then Glen proceeds to eat all the doughnuts that were left in um, left there.  And they're delicious, delicious looking doughnuts.

O: [Homer Simpson intonenation] Emmm, doughnut.   And now driving through a quiet suburban neighborhood, late at night- all of the Autobots!

S:  [sighs] Sam tries to convince the Autobots to stay outside and stay quiet, while he goes inside and tries to find the glasses.  And he's actually um, reasonably polite and respectful about this, considering the situation.

O: Eh... but the Autobots are super impatient.

S: [sighs] And Sam’s dad continues to be an asshole.  Basically moaning about how he spent all his money on a car for Sam, and now Sam gets home late and he had to do all of Sam's chores.  Like the KIND person that he is.

O: So instead of you know, just doing something nice for your kid you're going to just- stand out here, at the screen door, having a dick-measuring contest with your teenage fucking son.  Granted it is pretty fucking hysterical that Optimus and the rest are sneaking around the yard while Sam is desperately trying to be like, “No dad, I got this, you don't need to come out here, it’s fine!”

S: [sharp intake of breath] God, if Sam's dad had actually gone outside.

O: [laughs]

S: How the hell would that have worked?  I mean if he'd had booze or something or he had-  he has like-

O: He just looks at the wine glass and walks back inside.

S: [sharp intake of breath] “I've had too much to drink, I'm going to bed.”

O: [laughs]

S: Cuz all of the Autobot stuff is in the background.

O: Of course, they're stepping on things, knocking things over, the whole works.

S: Why didn't they just stay in car mode?

O: It’s a valid question.  I really don't think Optimus would be this much of an idiot and it makes the Autobots all look like assholes who aren't listening to the person who's trying to help them, and what he's asking them to do.

S: And then to make it worse, Ironhide pulls out his gun and aims it at Sam's dog.

O: Which is what, the equivalent are pulling at a freaking pistol cuz a bug landed on you?  What the hell, man!?!

S: Though Ironhide saying, “Bad mojo!” after Sam prompts him is pretty funny.  And the reason why he pulls out the uh, the big guns is because Sam's dog... pees on him.

O: Yep!  But seriously, this is the dumbest plan guys.

S: Yeah, the Autobots have been waiting all this time and apparently they can't sit still for five minutes, because they're all like, giant toddlers.

O:  [singing to the tune of Muppet Babies] ~Robot babies!~ [laughs]

S: [sighs] Transformers babies.  I- I am seriously debating finding that and throwing it at you.

O: You're just- you just want to hurt me.

S: I showed you good stuff!

O: Anyway, Optimus lifts Mikaela up into Sam's room and they both began rummaging around his room to find the glasses.

S: Sam shoos Mikaela away from a certain area in his room and um-

O: That's his porn, that's his porn stash.

S: [sighs] So I guess that's what he was referring to earlier.

O: Probably.

S: And now all of the Autobots are in car mode, in the backyard.  Except they've already done a shitload of damage.

O: Um-hm.

S: Except apparently Ratchet... isn't in car mode.  Cuz he uh-

O: Or he transforms from car mode?

S: Yeah cuz he, uh... he walks into a transformer, a power transformer.

O: Ugh, I'm just not fond of the VA they picked for him here.  I know Prime wasn't out yet, but that guy, we need that guy [Jeffrey Combs] here.  I love [that] Ratchet’s voice.

S: So when Ratchet walked into the power transformer, he knocked out the power.  He fell down I was like, “Oh! That was a kick, that was fun.”

O: [laughs]

Because apparently getting shocked for Transformers feels all tingly and fun.

O: [laughs] I mean…

S: Uh, and so- so at this point, the power is out, Sam's parents think that there's an earthquake cuz Ratchet fell down and made you know, shit happen and then they duck under- well, Sam's dad ducks under a table.  His mom is just like, “How did you get over there so fast?”

O: [laughs] I do enjoy that they're like, “Bring the wine!”  Cuz if they're gonna die, they're gonna die happy.

S: They’re all a little slooshed up at this point.

O: They- they are. [laughs]

S: And then Sam's parents uh, head upstairs to check on Sam and bang on his door.

O: And we present to you, the most awkward conversation ever captured in cinema!

S: Sam's parents are like, “Hey, uh, why was your door locked?  There aren’t- no doors are locked in this house,” and uh, decide to assume uh, masturbation was what was going on.

O: I did not need. [Clears throat] I did not need, or want to hear his mom call it, ”Sam’s special alone time”!  Just no. All the no. NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!

S: Ironhide asks Optimus if you can shoot them.

O: PLEASE!!!  [dissolves into laughter]  Optimus is like, “No, what's wrong with you!?!”

S: Yeah, and then all of the Autobots are trying to avoid being seen.  So, it's like they're attempting to do a Jenga with the house and they're all scrunched up- around and under Sam's window listening in and it's actually a pretty neat shot.

O: It's pretty funny.  Mercifully, Mikaela saves us from this insanity by stepping out and introducing herself.  So yeah, I think they're just gonna assume they were doing the horizontal mambo, if you know what I mean!

S: His parents apologize that she may have heard their ‘family discussion’.

O: Oh, is that what you're calling talking about your son’s WANKING OFF HABITS!?!

S: [sighs] Your son’s sex life, or lack thereof.

O: Why did you do this to me movie!?!

S: And this is where the federal agents come in.

O: OH THANK GOD!  And we have our main asshole FBI guy- oh sorry, I mean Sector Seven guy, Agent Simmons, JOY.

S: Sam's parents take issue with all of this.  Particularly his mom, who's mad that they're messing up their plants. Oh, and at some point, the father looked outside and was like, “Ah!  The earthquake destroyed all my shit!”

O: [laughs] Cuz he thinks the earthquake did it.

S: And at this point I think Sam's mom's gonna be really unhappy when she realizes just how much damage the Autobots did…

O: Yeah, Optimus stepped on her flowerbed.

S: Yeah.  And then the Sector Seven people want to take Sam away.

O: Personally, I think they can just, you know, have him!  Can we follow Mikaela for the rest of the movie instead, please?

S: Unfortunately, Mikaela gets brought along too.

O: Sam, his parents, and Mikaela are shoved into some cars by the Sector Seven guys.

S: Oh, and the reason that the uh, the Sector Seven people know to take Sam is that they have some sort of uh, thing that reads radiation and Simmons-

O: And he dropped his cell phone, or the cops still had it, so they [Sector Seven] now have his cell phone.

S: That's true.

O: And his recording of Bee, and him talking.

S: Yeah.

O: And him saying his car is alive.

S: Yeah, but they also have a thing that like, reads the radiation.  So Sam and Mikaela unfortunately, are now probably irradiated... somehow.  Which may or may not give them a very good life expectancy. And oh, Sam's terrible eBay user name gets mentioned again.

O: And you totally see Mikaela roll her eyes at it too.

S: Oh yeah, and they apparently have Sam's phone as you mentioned.  Which is how they tracked him down, and when asked about his ‘stolen’ car Sam says, “It came back.”

O: Right!  Doesn’t your car come back when it's stolen, Specs?

S: No, it's not a boomerang.  Though I suppose if a thief stole it [and] they decided it was super shitty they’d return it because-

O: I feel like they wouldn't even return it.

S: Or it just turns up again, like a block away.

O: I would be more willing to believe that.

S: I think I've seen stuff about that happening, but I don’t know.  Agent Simmons decides to lord his authority over them by uh, showing his badge and declaring it a, “I can do whatever I want and get away with it,” badge.

O: More like an asshole badge!

S: He also starts uh, to threaten Mikaela's dad.

O: Because as previously stated, he is a fucking asshole.  It's not even like Mikaela's got much to do with any of this to begin with.

S: People with power are just assholes-

O: Pretty much.

S: -a lot of the time.  And of course, it's um, prime time to bring up Mikaela's criminal record, because fuck you Simmons.

O: And Sam has the nerve to be horrified when finding out about this.

S: Sam you jackass.  You privileged, rich, white boy.

O: Yup.

S: And then the car is picked up and the- the uh, roof is ripped off by Optimus, once they’re in a suitably isolated area.

O: Optimus then kneels down, has an entire conversation with agent Simmons and Co.

S: He gets mad and tells them to get out of the car.

O: What’s left of it you mean?

S: I mean, it probably runs, maybe?

O: [laughs] He took off- like, the entire top half of it off!

S: Yes, but that- that's a not the part that keeps it from running.

O: And dropped it quite a ways.

S: Yeah... that's true, I don't know.  Mikaela finally tells Sam off for shitty comments about her criminal record earlier by asking him, “When have you ever had to give up anything in your perfect little life?”  Mikaela has a criminal record because she wouldn't rat out her dad.

O: Yeah, which- and depending on how old she is this should not have really even been legal to begin with.

S: Yeah.

O: Like, this like, I’m- I'm assuming this happened sometime between when she was 8 and 12 and it means that somebody chose to basically to prosecute her at a higher age bracket.  [My logic for this is that there’s a comment about him not always having been able to afford a babysitter for her so I assume she wouldn’t have been old enough to stay home by herself, but take that with a grain of salt.  ~O]

S: Yeah.

O: Which is shitty.  But, that statement, that line, is the most accurate description of Sam.  Here is a person who comes from privilege, he stumbles upon events that bestow him even more privilege and he acts entitled- so, so very entitled, during it all.

S: Yup, and then we get the part where Bumblebee pees on Agent Simmons.

O: [sighs]

S: [sighs]  It’s just like, whyyyyy?

O: Does this mean he's low on those fluids now?  Is Ratchet gonna have to top him off later? And why is that there?  I mean why does it exist at all sure, but specifically, why is it where a dick would be on a person!?!

S: Yeah, why is it framed like that?  From the perspective of the person being peed on?

O: [sighs] I don't know, but now that his friends are here Sam is going to be as douchey as possible because he orders Simmons to remove his pants.

S: And according to his under clothes or at least his undershirt, Sector Seven sells or has branded clothing items available for their agents.

O: The Autobots leave but, oh no!  They [the agents] were on the phone the whole time.

S: [sighs] Meaning, backup arrives shortly thereafter and the Autobots proceed to hide under a bridge.  Optimus carrying Mikaela and Sam in his arms.

O: Just putting this out there, but I too would like to be carried in Optimus’ big, strong arms.

S: Carried in his gentle, strong hands.  Though I mean, preferably G1 Optimus, or one of the other Optimuses.

O: Yeah, yeah, just not this Optimus.  I want the Optimus from Prime, he seems like a very calm, kind guy to give me a ride on her shoulders, that sounds nice.

S: I'll take G1 Optimus, he's a- he's very dad shaped.

O: He is the most dad shaped.

S: I'd also accept Animated Optimus.

O: Yeah... yeah, he seems nice.

S: Maybe Cyberverse, well I don't know.

O: He seems like, unsure dad shaped, and I can deal with that.

S: Yeah, and I'll leave out all the other Optimi.  Though maybe Optimus Primal might be good for a hug.

O: He would be great for a hug.  Unfortunately, they're not that much bigger than people so it would not be the same kind of ride in his big, strong arms.

S: [laughs] He’s more-

O: It still sounds nice but-

S: -more of a piggyback ride.

O: Yeah.

S: And to get away from our uh, hugging and carrying uh, discourse- there's just so many explosions happening right now.

O: Sure, don't worry about those roads or infrastructure, this is fine.

S: Oh no, Sam and Mikaela almost fell, but don't worry Optimus has slowed their descent with [laughs] his nice soft foot.

O: I guess that this is the one thing they kept from G1, huh?

S: Yeah.

O: [laugh]

S: And apparently Cybertronians are weak to ice and electricity now.  Except... didn't Ratchet think that the power-

O: Think that the electricity was nice?  I don't know, but Bumblebee gets the crap beaten out of him by the Sector Seven guys.

S: Oh my god, maybe Ratchet’s… [starts laughing]

O: Nope, nope, I think I know what went through your head and we’re not going there.  It was disturbing when Bee got hurt, okay!?!

S: [continued laughter with increasing volume]

O: [laughs] I mean I’m sure Drift would be into it, but that’s not the point!

S: [sustained laughter continues]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image with Starscream and Megatron getting caught up in an explosion, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.”  Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: [high pitched laughter continues]

[The laughter is cut off, and the same technical difficulties message and elevator music from before returns.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: I am under control again. [laughs]

O: ANYWAY, Bumblebee gets the crap beat out of him by the Sector Seven guys, it's more than a little disturbing.

S: Keep in mind that before this we really only had uh, G1 and Beast Wars as like, the main well-known Transformers things.  I mean maybe Beast Machines?

O: Eh, Beast Wars, Beast Machines, I end to count them together, since they're in the same continuity even though they're different series, but- but I know what you mean, sorry.

S: Yeah, it's just those ones would have been the ones that most people- that would have stuck out in like, the main- I don’t know, cultural hive mind, probably.  Cuz I don't think like, any of the animes would have made that much of a dent.

O: Yeah.

S: So uh, hopefully you enjoy watching your fav get tortured by the US government.

O: And the way this is framed, because Bee doesn't have a working voice box, really comes across that they're like, taking something from Sam.  Not that Sam is worried about his friend! Bee is just treated like property, by both the plot and the framing. And this is in such a stark contrast to the Bumblebee movie.  Where even though he couldn't talk, even though he was a CG character, he still felt like an actual character.

S: Yeah, in the Bumblebee movie, Bumblebee actually had an emotional arc.  When Charlie first sees him, she treats him like a person that needs care and kindness.  He- he still couldn't talk- like, he was immediately showing recognizable and understandable emotions.

O: And body language.

S: Mm-hmm, and then there's Bumblebee in this one where he can't talk, but he's just an asshole and he's gonna pee on things.

O: And you're my new best friend, and I'm gonna keep you safe, you know- just like a fucking guard dog.

S: [sighs]

O: Bee, story wise in relation to Sam, is treated more like a pet, and it is weird.

S: Yeah.  Simmons catches up with the two of them and Bee, continuing to be an asshole and taking another pot shot at Mikaela as they're being taken away.

O: And they're just going to ignore the other Autobots in the distance apparently.

S: Yep, they're still hiding under the bridge.  They're all tucked away under that bridge, which is apparently uh, enough to keep them from being spotted by helicopters.  Oh, and apparently the um- while the Autobots couldn't be bothered about the flower beds before, Optimus can see and gently pick up the plot glasses that Sam uh, well basically Sam lost them when they fell and Optimus caught them with his soft foot.

O: Yes.  And then army talk, army talk, army talk, boy let me tell ya... just how much I do not care.

S: And then the Secretary of Defense was apparently unaware of Sector Seven’s existence until now because he didn't need to know about them.

O: You know, copying Independence Day only with him instead of the president.

S: [sighs] Sector Seven is a special access division of the government created by President Hoover.  Hm...

O: And at Nellis Air Force Base, Lennox and his team are intercepted before they can head home.  Basically they're voluntold they're gonna help with this alien robot crisis.

S: Yup.  And the Secretary of Defense's meeting with the Sector Seven guys and intends to bring Maggie with them.

O: This whole scene feels very much like, “Yes, and…”  The Secretary of Defense wants Maggie to be his adviser, but when Glen asks if he is coming too and the Secretary of Defense asks, “Who is this?” Maggie just responds “He's my advisor,” and he [the Secretary of Defense] just goes with it, brings Glen along too.

S: Glen's getting the ride of a lifetime.

O: Yup!

S: I guess.

O: And finally, we get some of our separate plot threads to come together as Sam, Mikaela, Maggie, Glen, and the Secretary of Defense are now loaded up in the same helicopter and head to the Hoover Dam.

S: Weren't Maggie and the Secretary of Defense and Glen in goddamn Washington DC?

O: Yes.  Yeah.

S: Kill me now.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Poor Mikaela, she just looks so tired and done with everything.

O: You just know she hasn't slept all night.

S: Honestly they probably got shoved in a holding cell, so no.

O: Yeah, and then shoved on a helicopter.

S: Yeah, here's some more Bumblebee tortured before cutting back to the Autobots talking about how they must go on and they can sense that the AllSpark is near.

O: With what?  Your bullshit radar!?!

S: Maybe they can sense it with their pheromone detectors.

O: Ratchet, what can your robot eye-

S: [laughs]

O: Ratchet what can your robot nose smell?  Frenzy is tiny, and up to shenanigans.

S: It's time to break into the Hoover Dam!

O: So just getting back to this, because the movie really, really wants to bring this home, Sam can't possibly go out with someone with a juvie record.  He wouldn't you know, want a date below his class, or marry below his class, or god forbid fuck below his class, right?

S: Sam you asshole.

O: Yup!

S: And boom, we have a Megatron.

O: Thanks, I hate it.

S: Still frozen, and presumably unconscious and offline.

O: Sector Seven’s been keeping him on ice for a while apparently.

S: Yeah, and apparently a good chunk of modern technological advancements since the thirties has been due to humans studying Megatron.  Oh god, now I'm just thinking about mechanical television. Did mechanical television come from Megatron?

O: Sure.  Sure. Why not, why not?  “Yes, and.”

S: Simmons continues to antagonize the group.  Who...who isn't a jackass in this group?

O: [sighs] Like, look, I don't like Sam but maybe Simmons, as the fucking adult needs to get his dick out of his hands and stop getting into Sam's personal space.  It's creepy!

S: Honestly, a lot of the adult men in this movie are just creepy.

O: Yeah.

S: I mean, Lennox and Epps and the soldiers-

O: Aren’t-

S: - don’t seem to be creepy but...

O: Yeah.

S: Most of them, most of them-

O: Yeah, like his dad is shitty like... well- I guess Glen and the Secretary of Defense aren't bad?

S: Yeah, but they don't get a whole lot of screen time and also one of them's over 60.

O: That’s also true.  Anyway, it is explained that the AllSpark was hidden and that they built the Hoover Dam around it.

S: How did the Native Americans in the area not know about it?

O: Maybe it was underwater?  If it was visible they absolutely would have but I wouldn't put it past the Army or Sector Seven, or whoever, to conveniently ignore that fact.

S: But, um, would have been a river before the dam was put in and-

O: Obviously, Specs, you’re forgetting how deep rivers are.

S: The fact that you actually spent time looking to attempt to look this up-

O: I tried, and I could not find a straight answer! [laughs]

S: Well, it’s not exactly like they were going around do river measuring in that time period is it?

O: No... I’m still sad I couldn't find a straight answer though.

S: And I mean, who knows, maybe they accidentally made it a huge afterward.

O: I- I do think that would legitimately be funny, is like, some scientist poked it the wrong way and now it's like, “Oops, it just takes up the entire hanger now, sorry guys.”

S: [laughs] It’s like, “Oh shit.  Oh shit, I'm glad it didn't crush me.”

O: Yeah.

S: [sigh] The AllSpark just has random powers.

O: Frenzy now has a body again.

S: Yeah, Frenzy, uh- Frenzy was taken along this entire time in Mikaela's bag, I think?

O: Yeah, pretty much.  Like, he got out of her bag and sort of crawled into Hoover- the Hoover Dam.

S: Yeah, and he's able to signal the rest of the Decepticons with the Megatron's location and then we get to see them finally begin to mobilize.

O: And now, an hour and 40 minutes into this movie, we have a Starscream.  There is no power on heaven or Earth that can make me believe that that is his holoform.  Mark my words, I don't care if IDW never gave him the holoform, but his holoform form would be female, and no one can stop me.

S: [sighs] And then more on the AllSpark’s plethora of abilities, apparently they can use it to turn random electronics into Transformers.  Which... the Autobots would probably consider kind of horrifying, because these are babies and now the babies are dead.

O: Yep.

S: Simmons proceeds to demo this for us by taking Glen's cell phone and zapping it's to life.

O: I will forever be confused for this, why does it seem like the AllSpark always makes stuff that's evil?

S: I mean it's a baby.

O: I know, but it has red optics, I feel like we have to assume it's a Decepticon.

S: Maybe the Decepticons are the last people who had it if they'd programmed it for red optics-

O: [laughs] So you’re telling me it’s stuck on the make evil setting?  Got it.

S: It’s possible!  I don't know how this works, and it’s not like we're gonna get a demonstration of it later, considering what happens.

O: Yeah, yeah…

S: And Simmons proceeds to kill this little phone Transformer by basically electrocuting the shit out of it.

O: We create life, then we kill it, but we're the good guys remember!  And now, finally, Dorito-scream has been achieved!

S: It's just so triangular.

O: I don't know why Starscream looks like a giant flying Dorito in this-

S: It might-

O: -but I find it hilarious.

S: It might be his color scheme… partially.

O: He doesn’t really have a color scheme.

S: Yes, but-

O: It’s just he’s so triangular!

S: Yes, but he's also kind of beige.

O: Eh, you’re right, that doesn’t really help things.  Uh, Frenzy manages to take out the power for Sector Seven’s facilities.

S: How does a dam lose power considering in generates power?

O: I don’t know, Specs.

S: Sorry, I mean, I guess it's possible that he could, like basically prevent water from going through the dam by freezing something, but…

O: I think he actually just started destroying the mechanical stuff, so like the generators and stuff.  It's now time to defrost our Decepticon warlord on high.

S: Frenzy is getting busy in the control room again- again blowing all of the shit up, and then all of the scientists in the main bay when Megatron is being held seem like, super unfazed by the deep thaw that's starting.

O: You guys need to run.  I have zero doubts that Megatron won't kill you out of sheer spite.

S: Yup.  Did you know that there was a whole armoury of bullshit under the Hoover Dam?  Because of all- the soldiers are like, “Pass the guns! Give me that buffet of guns and ammo!”

O: And Lennox is kind of done with Simmons, because uh, yeah uh, violence is uh, implied. I'm so glad that this movie is all violence, no character development, or emotions, or feelings  We don't have feeling Specs, because we are sex having heterosexual men! Hetero men who have sex with women, never mind that G1 is one of the least straight things I've ever seen in my life!

S: To be fair to the soldiers they did not sign up for this bullshit, and then they got dragged into and all they wanted to do was go home.

O: And-and look, I would be pretty upset about being shoved into the same room as Agent Simmons.  So yeah, I can't blame them too much.

S: Yeah.

O: They go to retrieve Bumblebee.

S: And Sam's like, “Stop electrocuting my car!”  Not even, “Stop electrocuting that guy.” “Stop electrocuting my car.”

O: Of course!  And Bumblebee just gives a him a look like, “Dude, I have had the shittiest day.”

S: Yup, and poor dude is like, super jumpy and paranoid but I mean who wouldn't- who wouldn't be?

O: I- yeah, I mean considering he was tortured all night- he's got ever right!  I still legitimately don't know what catching Bee accomplished!

S: I don't think it accomplished shit except getting him to this location, which I guess was the plot contrivance.  And now we've got the magical size changing cube.  As Bumblebee touches the AllSpark and like, pokes it a bit and then suddenly it is like hand-sized, for him.

O: Even their spark of life can mass shift apparently.

S: Oh god. [snickers] It's from a planet of shapeshifters.  Apparently mass shifting is just what this stupid thing does.

O: Apparently.

S: Everybody can just understand Bee now, this is fine.  And, oh, Bee’s been talking in like, radio and music references this entire time, and I don't think we ever mentioned that.

O: [laughs] You're right I don't think we did.  He isn't talking normally, he's using recordings.

S: He talks TV, basically.

O: Pretty much. Well, asshole’s up!  “This is not where I fell asleep, I'll have you know!”

S: He’s a lot less uh, he's a lot less of a morning person than Skyfire was.

O: [laughs]

S: Skyfire was much more genteel about the entire thing.

O: [laughs]

S: Megatron's a jet in this, so we’re- you know just so we're all on the same page here.  He meets up with his second-in-command Dorito-san.

O: [laughing] Dorito-san!?!

S: [laughing] Sorry... He meets up with his second-in-command, you know, the Dorito.

B: [laugh]

O: There's some groveling that happens.  Megatron tells Starscream he's disappointed in him and all I can think is- he didn't even do anything yet!

S: Apparently he couldn't find Megatron, which I guess is what he's disappointed in.

O: I guess?  “Do you realize I had to listen to... Francois talk about his- his terrible wife for three weeks, do you realize that [Starscream]!?!”

S: Simmons, the Secretary of Defense, Maggie, and Glen uh, remain behind when everyone else heads out to go to... stuff.  So while everyone else is going and doing stuff the- [sighs] the dam crew, that's what I'm going to call them.

O: [laughs] Okay, okay, I’m here for this.

S: They attempt to contact the Air Force, to try and get some you know, backup for Bee and company.

O: They do this by using some very antiquated equipment, because the Cons have knocked out most communication worldwide.

S: Which is not explored in this movie, let alone any others.

O: Yeah, because this would be like a thing that should affect everybody.

S: Yes, there goes-

O: Or at least everybody in the in the US.

S: Yeah, frankly I'm kind of- well, no, apparently landlines don't work and I don't understand why.

O: I don't either.

S: But yeah, cuz this- this would have wiped out... literally every communication except apparently shortwave radio.  But apparently, yeah, shortwave radio will still work. Which is what they're attempting to use here. They get the brilliant idea to hotwire a computer to transmit a tone through a radio signal, while they're trying to hold off Frenzy who is trying to get into the room that they're- that they’ve holed themselves up in.  Which... it's a weird, weird room.

O: It is, but now back to how sexy the cars are!  Look at the car, so sexy!

S: Why is everything so orange?  I will bemoan the orange!

O: We can’t have no girly colors in here conveying emotions, Specs!  Look at the cars!

S: [sighs] And the Autobots immediately join up with Bee, it's convoy time!

O: [attempts to sing] We're gonna roll this truckin convoy- oh god that’s the right tune.  I even looked it up!

S: Oh!  I've got it on my phone.

[The audio cuts and “Convoy,” by C. W. McCall plays]

B: [singing] “We have a little ol’ convoy, burning through the night!  Yeah, we got a little convoy. Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy!  Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'cross the U-S-A. Convoy!”

[The audio cuts as a record scratch noise plays]

O: That’s enough of a music break!

B: [laugh]

S: Ah, Maggie and company began to arm themselves with some of the older guns um, from the display cases in the room they're stuck in.

O: Oh yeah, I'm sure those will shoot just fine!

S: Where did they even find the ammo or…?

O: Yeah!  Because why would the ammo be stored with most of the stuff that's on display?

S: I mean that thing- I mean like, having the ammo for interest but yeah, why would they have ammo or even gun powder in this room?  [quietly] I don’t know. [normal volume] And then it's back to Bee again.

O: Wow, I just don't care!  Even the G1 episodes, where they were constantly swapping back and forth between a bunch of different scenes, are better than this.

S: Those typically have more things happening in them.

O: Surprisingly, yes.  I'd much rather watch Megatron throw shit at Starscream.

S: Honestly, that's more cohesive.

O: And that is saying something.

S: Okay, so one of the Decepticons, Bonecrusher, catches up with the Bots and Optimus transforms into a robot mode to protect the others.

O: He just seems like such an asshole here, they're literally fighting on a highway.  There are so many people that must die here!

S: Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of amused by how it looks like their roller-skating but that doesn't exactly take away from the- oh, there's a terrifying robot deathmatch and so many people are dying.

O: Yeah and but- but thanks Bay!  I'm so glad that this one kid and his mom survived.  Thanks for that.

S: God, so many people probably need therapy in this universe.

O: I would think so.

S: Frenzy is now in the vents.

O: Good boy, you go get ‘em!  Even if the B team is definitely the better… group.

S: He comes out and falls so straight onto a glass case, uh-

O: That's my boy!

B: [laugh]

S: Like, he's using shuriken things, like he was using a shuriken things before, but now he's been like boomerang- boomeranging shit around and he accidentally beheads himself with his boomerang shuricane- shuriken thingy.

O: That's my boy! [laughs] So interestingly (to me anyway), it seems like this- the movie series uh, kind of made the whole- the whole integrated weapon thing for the Transformers more common.  I know you saw it a bit in G1, but it seemed kind of inconsistent in either how it worked or what weapons they had. Ironhide, just Ironhide, right?

S: Mm-hm.

O: Um, but- but this made it more consistent, like especially in Prime you- you saw that consistency and thought applied to the weapons and how that- they access them throughout the entire series, which was really nice.

S: It was also pretty consistent with Animated, which I think came out around the same time as this movie though I don't remember if it was prior to the movie being released or afterward.  

[TFA was released in December of 2007, whereas the first Transformers live action film had been released in July 2007. ~O]

O: Well, and I mean, either, or- either the movie borrowed from it, or it borrowed from the movie with Megatron kind of being that thing that advanced tech for-

S: Yeah.

O: -for humanity, which was just kind of weird, but yeah.

S: Or they both borrowed it from the comics, and then just made it consistent because they do have pretty integrated weaponry in the original Marvel comics.

O: That- that's true I-I meant- I thought you meant the uh, Megatron being- being why we had any technological advancement-

S: Oh-

O: -and I was really confused for a good minute.

S: No, no, no, no, sorry, just the-the integrated weaponry.

O: Fair.

S: Though [laughs] Animated did that Megatron’s the reason that they have-

O: Yeah!  That- that like, New Detroit or Detroit has like all this like, amazing tech.

S: Our convoy enters Mission City, and prepares to hold off the Decepticons to prevent them from getting the AllSpark.

O: Why did they bring this into a city?

S: I don't know, no one explains their shitty decisions here.

O: It gets weirder because apparently, when they were writing or making the movie there- they originally have thought to have the climax in the Grand Canyon.  Which seems like that would make a lot more sense? Like, sure, there's less coverage per se, but way less civilian life in danger!

S: It would have also involved like, immense environmental destruction but that’s not something they would have been concerned about.

O: I just don’t see- I don't see how that would have been more work then the city.

S: They may have had issues actually getting- well no, they could have done it all in green screen but…

O: Anyway, we've contacted the Air Force, so the dam team has succeeded.

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, Lennox and his dudes communicate what they need.

S: Oh honey, that's not the Air Force.  That's really not the Air Force.

O: But only Ironhide seems to realize it's actually Starscream that's approaching.

S: Bee uses a random... well, it's got a Furby on it, so it's the Furby delivery truck as cover.

O: Starscream shoots said truck and send everyone flying.  Everyone else is covered in dirt and grime here- and I mean technically so is Mikaela, but she has an almost angelic glow about her when she wakes up in a pile of rubble looking at Sam.  Sam also has an angelic glow because remember, he gonna hit that.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Uh-huh, Bumblebee has lost his legs in the last attack.

O: And Bumblebee is basically half a bot, let's keep that in our back pocket for later shall we?

S: Yeah.  Mikaela being the badass lady that she is like, “ We're gonna move Bee!  We're going to get this done!” And proceeds to break into and hotwire a tow truck to do just that.

O: Go Mikaela. Bee gives the AllSpark to Sam and conveys to him that he should go on without him basically.

S: And then another Decepticon um, Demolisher, shows up and uh, Ironhide, Ratchet and Jazz engage him.  And I think Demolisher’s a tank?

O: Yeah… and I think that one [the tank] was Demolisher?  I think this is something that really frustrates me about Sam though,  so much what happening- what is happening around him seems rooted in the sense of self sacrifice, but yet he doesn't ever have to sacrifice anything?

S: Like, the only things that he might theoretically have to sacrifice could be his life.  And he never does that, he's never even like, even remotely close to doing something like that except by accident.

O: Exactly.

S: By like, falling off a building.

O: Yeah, like it's never, “I'm going to-,” it never feels like, “I am going to choose to do this thing.”

S: Yeah, and then random boob and ass shot from some random lady who's in danger.

O: And I'm not judging her for what she's wearing, but you just know she got put in that outfit and put into that shot for one reason which was titillation and I'm like, did you have to?  In a movie about giant robots, did you have to?

S: It's only theoretically about giant robots, you know it's about Sam-

O: [sighs] Yeah...

S: and his boner.

O: [quietly] Boner of fate.

S: [high pitched laughter]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image of one of the Conehead Seekers in a t-rex’s jaws, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.”  Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: Megatron lands, and you know, shouts his own name.

O: Why are you- why did he do that!?!  Is he a Pokemon now? “Megatron! MEGATRON!” [laughs]

S: He’s got to announce his presence.

O: [still laughing] Obviously!

S: Poor Jazz attacks Megatron, and Megatron grabs him before flying off and landing on top of a building.

O: And then he rips Jazz in two.

S: Poor Jazz will not survive this.

O: Remember what I said earlier?

S: About Bee?

O: Yeah. [sighs] You- you brought up a good point prior, technically Bee only lost his legs from the knee down, but I'm just gonna say, they are giant fucking robots and I still don't feel like Jazz should have died here.  Also, according to the TF Wiki there was some point during development when Megatron was going to literally, not figuratively, literally, eat other bots’ sparks, so if that had been what had happened- Jazz being dead would have made a lot more sense!

S: How in a movie about alien freaking robots does Bay manage to kill the metaphorical black guy first?  Why?

O: I don't know why he killed anyone here!  We've barely gotten to see the robots at all!

S: Apparently, we have to make uh, make there be some sort of... I don't know, people are dying, this stuff is really real.  Except... no, they use the guy who's- basically Jazz's speech patterns are close- are I don't know, AAVE? American… African-American Vernacular, I think?

O: Eh, it’s- he's coded African American because of his speech patterns-

S: Yeah.

O: -is probably, how I would know-

S: The way, yes-

O: -the best way to say it?  And I'm just super sorry if that's not accurate.

S: Yeah, we- we apologize if this is inaccurate and offends anyone.  It isn't our intention.

O: Yeah.  But- but yeah, like effectively, [sighs] he, ugh, it’s just literally he- he killed the black guy.  I know he's not literally a black guy, but- but that is how he has been characterized.

S: That's just... that's how it feels.

O: Yeah.

S: And back to Dumbass McGee.  Sam is tasked with taking the AllSpark to the top of this building, so that they can hand it off to the Air Force.

O: Did they miss the whole Megatron and Starscream have jet alts bit?

S: I'm gonna go with, yes.

O: Apparently, okay.  Just checking.

S: Everyone is a very, very disrespectful, like they're fucking disrespectful as fuck to Mikaela and no one gives Sam shit but Mikaela trying to get Bee out of the way invites comments.

O: Golly, I wonder why!

S: And Optimus finally arrives.

O: What took him so long!?!

S: He got lost!  He fell off a highway and wasn't sure which way everyone else went, and also, with all the you know, internet and Wi-Fi and everything knocked out, he didn't have any GPS.

O: [laughs] That is the best excuse- that’s the best explanation I've heard. Headcannon accepted!

S: It’s not like he's driven around there before, and I don't think he has Ratchet’s nose. [laughs]

O: No, no, no, nope, uh-hm-

S: [continues laughing]

O: - nope that’s it, I’m leaving!

S: [continues laughing]

O: I’m done, I’me done! [unintelligible] -of Ratchet’s nose!

S: [continues laughing]

[A door slams]

S: [continues laughing]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image of Soundwave being thrown into a rocket, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.”  Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: And then Megatron shows up, transforming into robot mode.

O: So I don’t hate his alt exactly, but I just can't help but think Prime did this better.  Of course his voice was better too, but what do I know!?! Sorry, is my salt showing? Seriously though, I find it funny that both damn times that go to make a Transformers movie, they- they get Cullen to do Optimus, but they don't get Welker to Megatron.  Only to have Welker either return to do the character in the TV show or later in the movie series. Although it's kind of funny cuz they took him out in the movie and had somebody else play Galvatron and it's the exact opposite in the live-action, where once Galvatron shows up Welker is doing him.  The irony.

S: That is funny.  And then Megatron and Optimus fight.

O: Finally!  We get some of that homoerotic fighting this series is so known for!  He's sitting on Optimus punching him, yep.

S: Except a lot of this is done in a shaky cam so..

O: Yeah, so it's still terrible but eh, I mean, at least we're getting... sexual tension now?

B: [laugh]

S: And Sam is somehow running faster than the robots, how???  They have a wider stride.

O: Dunno, but it’s the return of Dorito-scream!

S: And Ironhide tells Sam to run, like he wasn't already doing that.

O: Mikaela however, is a stone cold badass.

S: Her and Bee enter the fray, with her driving backwards and Bee doing all the shooting and fighting.  “I'll drive, you shoot,” indeed.

O: I really feel like they bond here, but we never get to see him be as good friends with her as he is with Sam which seems really shitty.  This scene had actual feelings! Emotions! Characters vibing with each other, dammit! Mikaela's like, “I'm scared, but I can help you and I know you want to help,” and I am here for that.

S: Yeah, they're actually working together instead of Sam who so far has uh, either been chasing the car, or being chased by the car, or possibly driving the car.

O: But not actually driving the car, like all movie.

S: Yeah.  Sam gets up on the roof and uh, manages to set off a flare.

O: But Starscream is RIGHT THERE, so the helicopter gets shot down before they can retrieve the AllSpark.

S: God, there is such a body count in this movie.

O: Right!?!  But it's fine because Sam and his penis, I mean hec-

S: [laughs]

O: Sam and his boner, I mean Sam and his not girlfriend survive.

S: Ugh, Optimus attempts to reach Sam.

O: And doesn't try to stop the falling helicopter at all.

S: It doesn't have the thing he wants.

O: [It’s] so fucked up.

S: Megatron reaches the roof and demands that Sam hands over the AllSpark.

O: Megatron then asks if it's courage or fear that compels him, which I will say- fear!  Obviously! The man has never known courage in his entire life!

S: Sam is- well, ok, so the entire time this exchange was going on, Sam was like, holding on to like, the front or back of this statue that's up on the roof.

O: Mm-hmm.

S: And, uh, basically Sam, and I think the statue, get knocked off the building.  But don't worry, Optimus catches him with his big soft hands.

O: Obviously.  Also, we see Optimus’ battle mask, it's something that was kind of neat.  An interesting idea when done WELL, like say, Prime or even Animated! You can pray this soap box for my COLD DEAD HANDS.

S: It's also not bad Cyberverse, but that's significantly newer.

O: Yeah, but it would be pulling from the other two.

S: Yeah.  And, um, how are people still driving around in this city?  Wasn't- well, I mean, there wouldn't- well, okay, I guess... there may be people who haven't gotten the memo about the giant robot war.

O: I just feel like, maybe they would have seen the smoke, or the explosions, and decided driving would be bad, but I don’t know…

S: I don't know how well sound travels in this city.

O: Who knows.  Optimus and Megatron both hit the street and seem to need a few seconds to shake the fall off, despite Sam being perfectly fucking fine.

S: That makes zero sense.  Humans are, uh... special.

O: [sighs] Optimus tells Sam that if he can't defeat Megatron, then Sam needs to push the AllSpark into Optimus’ chest- to make sure Megs doesn't get it.

S: Like, this is actually something that I think Optimus has said before?

O: Yeah, he- he said it to the Autobots earlier and- and Ratchet was like, “That might kill ya both!  Dumbass.”

S: Yeah.

O: Only without the dumbass-

S: I think-

O: -that’s my addition.  I know how to write Ratchet talking better than this movie does.  Fight me. [laughs]

S: Optimus just seems kind of suicidal at this point.

O: I mean… yeah.  He does not seem happy.

S: Yeah.

O: I mean, like, look, I can't think anybody would be happy in the middle of war or anything, but at least feel like G1 Optimus probably has moments.  Prime Optimus probably at least loves his team, to some capacity. Animated Optimus loves his team. As for as much as they drive him nuts.

S: [laughs]

O: This Optimus?  I don't think there's a single thing, a single spark of joy in this mech’s life.

S: Yeah, and back to the Decepticons, it’s Blackout time.

O: I kind of like how its rotors look like a cape when he transforms.

S: They wiggle.

O: THEY WIGGLE.

S: I- I enjoy the wiggly cape and it-

O: I do too!

S: And it’s- it’s helicopter rotors are like that.

O: Yeah, like, you kind of see with Blades a little bit in Rescue Bots too.

S: Yeah, he's a wiggly boy.  Lennox and company are able to defeat Blackout with some help from the Air Force.

O: Do they kill him with shot to the crotch?

S: [laughs] That’s entirely possible.

O: [laughs]

S: Lennox, I think, ends up taking... I don't know, the thing with- cuz-

O: They like- he slides underneath him and shoots.  So I’m like, “Did you kill him with a shot to the robo dick?”

S: [laughs]

O: Really?  Is that the Decepticons’ weakness?  That’s good to know. Optimus, aim there!

B: [laugh]

S: Oh, um, and so... basically, there's apparently a particular type of round that they have to use. Tha- it's like, a Sabot-something or other at that-

O: I don’t remember.

S: Yeah.

O: And I didn't- I didn't actually write it down because it was not important enough to me, sorry.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Starscream takes out a good chunk of the military reinforcements and so like, at one point one of the soldiers is like, “Friendlies don't fly under building height,” or whatever.

O: They proceed to fly in the building height a few scenes later.

S: Yeah, while…

O: Starscream is transforming in and out of jet mode to take them out.

S: Yes, so yeah, there's- god, there is so much mortality going on here.  Cuz there's like, multiple planes going down-

O: Uh-huh

S: -in the middle of this inner city area.

O: And like, I will say, and we both comm- or I think you commented on like- it is a- it's a good fight like, for how Starscream would fight.

S: Yeah.

O: Because he’s sort of constantly shifting back and forth.

S: Yeah, I think he's choosing good aerial tactics for what he is.

O: He is and it’s really neat, actually.

S: Yeah, that was pretty cool.  From a mortality from human perspective point that's horrifying but...

O: That’s true.  Elsewhere, Megatron and Optimus continue to fight but Optimus is definitely losing.

S: Yeah, and so, Sam's been underfoot I guess, the entire time?

O: And he hasn't been squished.

S: Yeah.

O: Pity.

S: So instead of shoving the cube into Optimus’ chest he shoves it into Megatron's, because apparently Megatron’s spark is just out there on display… somehow?

O: Shit!  We don't know what that does!  What if he accidentally gave him immortality or something!?!

S: Apparently that didn't happen, cuz it seems- apparently that killed Megatron and like destroyed the cube???

O: Ahh?  [laughs]

S: And now Ironhide is walking around carrying both halves of Jazz's corpse like... babies in the crook of his arms.  Before handing them all over to Optimus.

O: That’s not awkward at ALL! [laughs]

S: Sam, Mikaela, and Bee reunite.

O: Exposition by the Secretary of Defense lets us know that the President has ordered the end of Sector Seven and all the Decepticon remains have been dropped into the Linares Trench where the cold and water pressure should keep them entombed.

[I don’t know if we misheard this when we were watching the movie or what, but according to TF Wiki it was the Laurentian Abyss, I’m really not sure where we got Linares from. ~O]

S: [sighs] Later, at yet another sunset, um…

O: [laughs] There's so many of those in this movie!  Optimus Prime closes out the movie, leaving us with a message of questionable hope and alerting any remaining Autobots that they may come to Earth.

S: We'll see some of them in the next movie.  Um...

O: But this is all while Sam and Mikaela are getting hot and heavy on top of Bumblebee’s windshield.

S: Yup.  That's- that's a person guys!  Maybe don't make out on top of him unless this is some sort of really weird three-way.  Which, ok, maybe not so weird if they're into that, but I don't think they discussed it.

O: [laughs] All the other Autobots in the background are totally watching too, so it just sort of feels like, extra level of creepy.

S: Yeah.  It really does.  I'm just shaking my head.  And um-

O: That's this movie in a nutshell, man.

S: The credits roll as the incredibly soothing tones of Linkin Park uh, they- they play and they escort us out of this movie.

O: So let mercy come, except for Decepticons because they don't deserve it according to this movie.

S: A few other scenes are cut into the credits.

O: Mostly involving Sam's parents.

S: It's really unimportant.

O: We do see Starscream escape into space though.

S: So, what are our conclusions?

O: Watching the Bumblebee movie and the entirety of Transformers Prime will get you everything that was pleasant about this movie and be a more enjoyable experience.  Maybe go do that instead? The Prime designs even seem at least loosely based on some of the live-action designs, you know some of the elements [of them] that I actually liked.  Real talk? It introduced some interesting concepts, but overall I hated it pretty much the entire time I was watching it. Specs?

S: I would have preferred to see a different movie, perhaps involving some of these characters but not all of them.  Um, specifically I would have liked to see something starring Mikaela, Maggie, Glen, and Miles. Miles would have definitely been like, just you know, the random straight man who has no idea what the hell's going on.  While the other three are hyper- well they're all hyper competent at something, and then the soldiers could have been interesting secondary characters too.

But you know, there were really too many characters in this movie for anyone to have a complete character arc. So it would work better with a smaller cast, maybe just focusing on the first four that I mentioned?  Either that or having a TV series with the soldiers coming in as liaisons with the military kind of like Fowler from Prime. Some sort of buddy comedy with the first four or just a more- actually, something with more of the tone of Prime as a TV series-

O: Yeah.

S: - would have- would have worked well.

O: So like, what robots would you want to see in that?

S: Uh, I mean, if I was going to keep the Bayverse robots... I just want to see more characterization from them and better writing.  But if I could have any character, G1 based Ratchet, uh, maybe Hot Rod or Bumblebee for you know, kid appeal.  If I was gonna pick between live-action Bumblebees, I'd go with the Bumblebee [movie] Bumblebee.

O: Yeah, he was definitely better.

S: A G1 based Wheeljack, Cyberverse Grimlock.  Uh, if it was something that was gonna be more lighthearted, maybe the Rescue Bots, particularly Blades.  Cuz I would like a flight frame in there.

O: Yeah.

S: And… so- Optimus, even if he's only someone who shows uh, sometimes?

O: Periodically, yeah.

S: Optimus would be good.  If this was going to be a heavier thing, keep the Rescue Bots off.  And, I mean, if we're going- going back to the Bayverse thing, if we're going to stick with Bayverse Autobots, just give them screen time and character development.  And also Bayverse Arcee, specifically, the design for the toy from the first movie, even if she was pink.

O: Fair.

S: But as it stands, [sighs] the Bayverse Autobots in this movie are just... Optimus is impatient, Ironhide really likes his guns, Rachet is tactless, and Bumblebee is immature.  And then Jazz is the only person who seemed to actually learn about human social customs in some- in some manner. He doesn't destroy as much shit as everyone else.

O: Yeah, Jazz was definitely the best one.

S: He was!  And then he- then they killed him, he died!  It’s just like, why did you do that?

B: [sigh]

S: If you're going to have characters, please give them screen time and don't kill them.

O: What a concept!  I guess that leaves me to fill out the Cons for this cast.  Uh, Megatron obviously, uh, G1 or Prime. Probably Prime if I had to pick one because they- again, I feel like the Prime characters lend themselves reasonably well to a more, kind of realistic plot.  Soundwave, probably Prime, again feel like he fits better into this. Uh, he needs some of the cassettes though, which Prime didn't really have, but I definitely want Ravage, cuz I love Ravage. Uh, Knockout because he's fun, and snarky.  Um, it's not Cons without a Starscream, so Starscream. But similar what you said, I would literally take just fleshing out the Cons in the Bayverse, because they had so little screenshin- screenshine?

S: [laughs]

O: They had so little screen time, and just no personality, and it was just... depressing!

S: The most screen time that we had for any of them would be Blackout at the beginning, where he's basically just shooting things-

O: Yeah, but he didn't even have any lines!

S: Yeah, and then…

O: Like, in fact, so few of them had lines!

S: Yeah.

O: Like, the way- even the Decepticons, most of the time when they talk, they talked in Cybertronian even.

S: Yeah.

O: And it was translated, it was just like, “On our way,” or, “Megatron has been found.”  It wasn't even- it wasn't character, it was just a statement!

S: Yeah, like none of them had personality and that’s just so disappointing.

O: It really is.

S: [sighs] And it's- we have fanfiction recommendations.

O: Yeah, I know we didn't do this with the other specials but because there is actually fanfic based on the live-action stuff, we kind of thought it was more applicable here.

S: Alright, so the first one is, “The Princess is in Another Castle,” by Bibliotecaria_D.  It's in the mov- the Bayverse continuity, obviously. Uh, rating, PG-13. It's got- it has past slash, so it's not a general fic.  Parings, uh, past Mikaela Banes and Sam Witwicky. Um, characters, Mikaela Banes. And in summary, “Mikaela Banes is waiting” That's- that's the long and short of the summary folks.

O: [laughs]

S: But it's really good!  It’s-

O: It's basically... what did happen to Mikaela, after her and Sam broke up?  And it- and it feels like this very good character development thing for her and it feels- it feels good to read.  Like it feels like- yes, this feels like something the character would have done and it it really gives her more depth than the movies ever did.

S: More depth and agency.

O: Agency, she has goals- that aren’t Sam oriented.

S: Um-hm.

O: It's really nice, I really recommend it.

S: I should reread it it's been a while.

O: I do recommend it like, I’ve read it multiple times because I thought it was really good.

S: Yeah.  So the the rec for it is Mikaela and it's a one shot.  And so our next one is- would you like to talk about it or would you prefer me?

O: I'm gonna talk about it, and I'll kind of explain why I maybe can't give the best in-depth explanation of it.  But uh, our other fanfic suggestion is, “Towards Peace”. It is by ariealbots, the continuity is Bay movies, if- they bring in elements of IDW, it's rated T.  It is slash, but believe me when I say I'm not gonna read this entire list. I'll just tell you kind of the top ones are Megatron/Optimus, Megatron/Ultra Magnus, Optimus Prime/Shockwave, Mikaela Banes/Bumblebee/Sam Whitwicky- so they actually are a trine in this like, they're- they're a poly relationship-

S: Um-hm.

O: -as far as I can tell.  Um, characters... there are so many!  I- like, it would have been absurd for me to try to list them all but basically the Bayverse cast, you get elements of some of the IDW characters thrown in, like Verity.  You get some of the Bumblebee characters thrown in like you actually get Charlie. Um, and they're pairing up essentially with all the bots that are still on Earth and it's really- it's really great cuz I think Charlie gets uh, teamed up with Skyfire?  So like, the- the Russian jet not like the Skyfire from G1.

S: Oh, the guy for the second movie?

O: Yes!  Like-

S: That’s Jetfire.

O: Jetfire, thank you!  I knew the name wasn’t exactly the same and I kept forgetting.  Skyfire actually shows up as a separate character in this and he's more based off G1 and IDW.  But yeah, she- she sort of is paired up with Jetfire and- and it's really lovely and I like it. [laughs]

[Okay, to make this all the more confusing, he’s called Jetstorm in this particular fic, so I just got this wrong in all the ways.  ~O]

S: Except he's not Russian in the second one he's an SR-71 Blackbird.

O: He has a Russian accent.

S: Ah, ok.

O: I don't know why-

S: Well-

O: Like- like it it makes more sense when I read it but-

S: Okay.

O: But anyway in summary, heh, “At the climax of the Battle of Mission City the AllSpark is pushed into Megatron's chest and instead of killing him it does what it was made for, it transforms.  After millennia of slow descent into madness brought by programming corruption the Lord Protector Megatron finds his mind suddenly restored but the memory of what he's done cannot be washed away.  With the war brought to a violent halt both Autobots and Decepticons must learn to coexist if they want to reunite their civilization and restore their dying world.”

S: I like that summary.

O: It's... good and obviously it's because, Bayverse, and it took place right after the first movie so I wanted to recommend it here.  Um, it is multi chapter, it's still ongoing, which is kind of my caveat usually I don't like recommending things unless they’re finished.  And I actually have a hard time following this one- reading it, partially because I have a hard time telling any of the Bayverse bots apart.

Like, I think, I'm actually gonna have an easier time reading it now, now that I had to like, sit down and fucking disect the Bayverse movie, so I'm gonna be really happy to go back and read it.  Um, I think it's pretty safe to assume a bunch of the pairings are like past and stuff, because like, I- I haven't seen hide nor hair of Ultra Magnus yet. Um, but- but anyway it's- it is good and like, the stuff I've read I described it as like, having this very kind of sweet pervasive kindness to it and softness to it which was really nice.  Uh, it was done as part of a Big Bang, I think?

S: Hmm…

O: The Big Bang event.  Like I said, they're not finished yet but I'm interested to see what they do and- and I'd liked a few of the like, characters and relationships particularly kind of with the humans and whatever kind of bot or bots they're kind of closest with.

Like I said with Charlie I'm pretty sure it was uh, Jetfire.  I think Verity might have actually been with Barricade, don't quote me on that because I could totally be wrong but- but I liked it, like it was good on that level.  Um, it's just I'm like, I haven't finished it yet and I haven't even read the most recent stuff so I'm always a little hesitant to recommend stuff I haven't finished reading so you know, with a grain of salt.  But I like what I read.

S: I’m going to have to go look at that, because it does sound nice.

O: It- it- just… I love that a concept.  God forbid, I cannot keep the Bayverse characters straight to save my life.  Uh, Jazz comes back to life though. [laughs]

S: Nice.

O: Because Megatron basically start- like he- he touches Jazz and so Jazz is better now.  “I got better!”

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, but- but he can also sense where like, a lot of the living Cybertronians are so like that's how they actually- they actually go get Skyfire who is in the Arctic in this uh, fanfic so you know, but- but it's good.  Uh... oh! Thundercracker and Skywarp are in it so you have the full- you have a full Dorito trine. Um-

B: [laugh]

O: I like my Doritos in multiple flavors, thank you very much! [laughs]

S: Cool ranch and I'm not sure what the hell Skywarp would be.

O: Uh, cheesy?

B: [laugh]

O: Anyway, happy holidays everyone and thank you for tuning in.  It's been a wild year and we're excited to keep talking about these ridiculous robots.  We will be taking a break for the rest of this month and January to enjoy the holidays but we'll be back in February with episode 26, “Attack of the Autobots!” Oh god, the Ark's only got two beds and there's about to be problems.

S: Oh my god, they were all roommates.

B: [laugh]

S: They are!

O: You’re not wrong, per se...

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

B:  Happy holidays!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[Ending Stinger]

S: Welcome to our first anniversary special with the 2004 Transformers film.

O: That is the wrong year.

S: GAH-

B: [dissolve into laughter]

S: God dammit.

[cruzrogue]

F’M Smoak

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 5  “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity #Flommy

Thomas Merlyn/ Felicity Smoak

Rating:G

Warnings/Tags: Fluff (friendship)

F’M Smoak

Summary:

Goth Felicity can sing and it brings unwanted attention from a lacrosse player. In the midst of this she meets a charming college guy who she easily befriends.

As her sweetest song she’s singing right now has that quite different sound from the array of beats of the rest of her lyrical music. She loves this one as it is of a sweet innocence and it is gushy and a real love song but she plays it with such heartfelt gusto saying the chorus again and again as the song comes to an end.    

“I might just kiss you.”

The crowd cheering loudly for a favorite that seems to appear every so often with a local college band that play instruments for her to sing a few original songs. She’s taking in the audience. In the last few months it seems she been gathering a few followers. It’s cool and all but sometimes these fans kind of come on way to strong and she it takes her from her comfort zone. She’s glad the owner of at least this establishment keeps an eye on the rowdiness. Sometimes things escalate quickly and Felicity feels so out of her element trying to deal with overeager men.

Tonight, is no exception as she’s occupied on her last song of the night that she doesn’t see the lacrosse player she’s had to repeatedly decline slip back stage. The guy doesn’t take no very well. Last time he was extremely drunk and thought she’d do for some fun that night. Kicking him in the gonads wasn’t enough to get the point across that she truly isn’t interested in some guy who creeps her out. Its not like she didn’t express that she was underage and doesn’t even drink. Not that the bar would serve her anyhow. Thank goodness the bouncer threw the lacrosse player out before she’d have to call the police.

That night may be one night of many. So, her enthusiasm to keep rocking hasn’t been spoiled by a few bad apples. She likes to sing these darker songs that fit her young being alone temperament. She’s still a teenager and basically is all by herself in this world if she doesn’t count her mom who is thousands of miles away in Las Vegas. Being a kid and really having to rely on herself is got to be the biggest mood.

When she needed cash for a small project that has become a go to happy hobby of hers. She’s finds old computers and put them back together to create a library of computer power. It costs a lot of dough to refit with new components. Technology is not cheap.

Her roommate seriously told her to try stripping. That got Felicity to raise her eyebrows at the girl. First, she was underage and that didn’t seem to faze her roommate at all it only made Felicity become more withdrawn in that friendship. She isn’t going to become a stripper, she just wasn’t. Soon after she met a few guys at karaoke that had a falling out with their main singer and well after a few conversations they tried it out. She just wants to play short term while they find a new front for the group. She doubts this is what she’ll want long term anyhow.

Her edgy voice bringing the crowd to erupt to a chorus she humming out. It seems they love this particular song. She wrote it weeks ago when a college frat boy broke her heart. He didn’t literal break it with any misdeeds he broke it by telling her she wasn’t his type. His loss because he gave her a song that connected with loads of people. Raising her arm at the end and enjoying the audience clapping she just follows the guys downstairs where this cute college looking guy tells her how great the performance was.

“That was truly awesome.”

“Thanks. My bandmates really did amazing up there.”

“Yea, but your voice. It holds this melody that I really liked.”

She just smiles. Her bandmates already moving out of view. “Thanks again. I’m just going to go back there. I’m super parched.”

“I can get you a drink?”

“Sorry. No thanks. That nice of you…” Felicity gives him another sweet smile before adding, “and all.”

“Tommy. That’s my name.”

“Okay, thanks Tommy. I don’t want to keep you from your friends.” She looking at a few guys holding their thumbs up at him. It makes him sigh.

“Sorry, they are… were with me. Don’t let them get to you. They can be jerks.”

“Well then. You should than probably make better friends.” She winks and starts to leave but then turns to him. “Care to join me in a refreshing bottle of water?”

“Water huh? You’re to young to be alcoholic?” He then adds, “Or just too young?”

“I’m too young to drink.” She laughs as she goes to grab a drink that is left there for her when a hand grabs her wrist.

“Hey, baby miss me?”

“You? What are you doing here?” Felicity trying to wrestle her wrist away with no luck.

“Your voice is so angelic and how can I keep away when all I want is to take care of you babes?” He pushes her closer and her other arm shoots out helping her to keep her distance.

“How did you get backstage?”

Tommy taking in the quick happening scene when his mind took that this guy wasn’t someone she wanted to talk to.

“Hey, I don’t think the lady is interested.”

“Fuck off frat boy. I got this.”

That makes Tommy come closer. Felicity doesn’t want the new stranger to get involved any deeper. “Tommy, its okay. I can handle it.”

“You shouldn’t have to. If this creep is bothering you.” His voice a little higher that it gets the guys that are putting their instruments away off on the other side take notice. They are now on alarm and start to head to Felicity’s defense.

“Hey F’M do you know these guys?”

Felicity pulls her wrist again from the obvious stalker of a few weeks but his grip is tighter.

Tommy speaks out, “I just met her. Though this guy is physically not letting her go.”

“Hey man, let her go!” The four guys from the band are now just poised and looking at the jerk.

“This bitch wants me. We’ve gotten to know each other for awhile now. We are going. Right babe?” He gives her a very dark stare as if she doesn’t cooperate there will be hell to pay.

Felicity gazes at the player and for a split second thinks it be good to listen and no escalation of violence will take place if she just does as he asks. It when she turns her eyes towards Tommy and sees something. A way out. He there and his stance is of someone who will help and not cower but he is waiting on her decision. She nods to him. That nod only makes him rigid. His words now controlled as his deep voice leaves no room of doubt, “She isn’t leaving with you.”

Just before the lacrosse player can say a word the owner has made his appearance with a bouncer and he notices as he gives a look to the player and then looks him dead in the eyes. “I thought I told you to never come back? Get out!”

Felicity pulls hard and her wrist is free. Tommy takes a risk as he places his body between the jerk and the singer he really enjoyed tonight.

Years later…

Felicity walks as silently as she can towards where the door down to the foundry at Verdant. She stops when she hears a voice.

“You know, I knew I know your face from some place.”

Felicity whips around to look at Tommy Merlyn behind a bar. They haven’t really talked since that incident. It was so many years ago. So much has changed. Even the color of her hair is a different. No more Goth and she quite literally is the flipped coin of her youth.

“Hi Tommy. I didn’t see you there?”

“Another late night down stairs working on wiring issues?”

“Um… well.”

“Hmm Hm. You are a busy IT girl. Got to say Oliver really is working you overtime.”

“Well he asked nicely and…”

“I bet he did. I’m more interested in the whole transformation?”

“Transformation? You must be thinking of someone else?”

He laughs. “I could be. Though I think we both know you are the spitting image of F’M Smoak.” He sees she doesn’t say a word waiting on what he is going to say next. “Felicity Smoak what does M stand for?”

“My middle name Megan.”

“You gave up singing?”

She shrugs. “It brought out some weirdos and my passion is with technology.”

“You were good?”

“I think you are just being nice.”

He pulls a shirt from under the bar. Letting her see the name across the smoke’s emblem of her name. “I’ve held on to this shirt since seeing you for a third time. It was hard to go backstage because of the bouncers. Heard you were getting way too many eager fans.”

“Yea, side effect. It all died down after I took a work study program working with my main love.”

“Good for you. Though it be a shame if that voice never makes a debut again.”

“Tommy, let us keep this little story to ourselves. No one needs to know.”

“Fine, if that is what you really want. Verdant could use the talent.”

“Well Merlyn, maybe I could play a set on Halloween because that is the only time, I’ll wear a mask and even be something I’m not anymore.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“And I am deeply sorry that you got a black eye over me.”

“Oh yes, that dude threw a mean one.”

“He was a total ass and let’s just say that he’s still on the government watch list to this day.”

Tommy smiles. “Okay Smoak, guess you should go do whatever you’re supposed to be doing.” He winks at her as he turns around. “He is most likely downstairs being moody while wondering where you are.”

She shakes her head, “It isn’t like that.”

He doesn’t turn to look at her again, “Sure! If you say so. Goodnight.” He knows she still there as he lets out the last melody of a certain song, “I might just kiss you.”

He hears her whimsical laughter as she calls out “Night Tommy!”

When he hears the downstairs lock click, he turns to watch her go. Mumbling low, “Damn fool downstairs has no idea what a lucky prick he is.”