#meanwhile my shift is spent almost in tears and then i’m sleeping 10+ hours to recover
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being 30 so far is just like ‘you will go through the most cataclysmic mental anguish of your life but you actually heal from it this time. also you have hip dysplasia. go to the doctor more often.’
#incessant meowing#finding out that since cptsd disconnects u from your body u can have chronic pain and not realize it til you get better#has been one loop of many loops on the rollercoaster i am currently on#like retail jobs always made me wanna donate myself to charity from the pain of standing#and i just thought i was being weak lmaoooo#my coworkers would be like oh it’s normal to feel pain you just go numb after awhile#meanwhile my shift is spent almost in tears and then i’m sleeping 10+ hours to recover#anyways life is fucking wild. how has your week been
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Jury Duty, Wedding Planning, and Mileage Ramping
Hi. I’m still alive! ...there’s nothing quite like serving as a juror on a murder trial to remind you of that fact. The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. In a nutshell: I am steadily building mileage, I got engaged, and I learned that serving on a jury is really stressful while balancing mileage, wedding planning, and having your puppy-parent-co-pilot out of town.
On May 31st, Dave and I decided that after 7 years of being together (4 living together) it was time to get married. Let me rephrase in an utterly unromantic way: after me not having health insurance since July 2015 and Dave having an adult job with benefits, we decided it might be time for me to stop playing Russian roulette. Let me rephrase in another utterly unromantic way: this was all decided through tears in the Whole Foods parking lot (let’s be real…how many excursions to Whole Foods don’t end in tears, though?) We bought a simple ring together two days later and have been wedding planning ever since.
Unintended consequence: it turns out that getting engaged – no matter the circumstances – makes you really happy and remember why you got together in the first place. I thought that after spending so much time together, getting engaged would just be a formality. Instead, there seems to be an ever-so-slight shift in the way we interact with one another, which has been a lot of fun.
Now, obviously we are both extremely nontraditional people. We chose a date (July 29th of this year) solely around the fact that my two best friends (who now live in Idaho and Australia) were just randomly going to be within an hour of my hometown that weekend. I was in their weddings, and I would love for them to be in mine.
So, yeah, we planned our wedding around two my bridesmaids’ schedules.
I don’t fancy myself to be a bridezilla (I mean…my engagement ring and dress combined cost less than our celebratory meal…), so I never thought our wedding planning would be stressful. We are funding the day ourselves, which already relieves decision fatigue. Seat covers? Table linens? Wedding favors our guests will leave at the table? Can’t afford them, doesn’t matter!
Putting together our website has been a lot of fun...and a lot of work. The biggest stressor has been that we had so little time to secure a venue (found one- the Washington Park Zoo!) and send out invites (they arrive tomorrow and will be sent out Friday) that we had to cram A LOT of planning into a short period of time. Oh yeah, add to that the fact that Dave was out of town for 3 days last week and 4 days this week, which has made things slightly more difficult, since he is very much involved in the planning of our day. [if I was making statuses saying “Future hubby asked if he could help make a small decision with our wedding! So #blessed” he definitely wouldn’t be the one I am marrying.]
All of this wedding planning reminded me how terrible I am at multitasking. Suddenly, 5 hours have gone by while we are at my computer designing our invitations (which ALMOST got purchased without the wedding date on them…) and I haven’t had a bite to eat, much less gone for my run. I have had to really double down on planning the day and doing a better job about compartmentalizing tasks, as well as taking time to care for myself. I am living off of Orgain nutritional drinks, cheese, and Lara bars.
Over the weekend, my (20 year old) niece/ bridesmaid spent a few days with me. She helped me plan a few things since she is in another wedding this summer, and also kept me focused (apparently she has never seen a person have so many internet tabs open at once..). Even though having her here was awesome, I definitely didn’t get as much sleep as I needed, especially because I was getting up extra early to run and work so that we could spend uninterrupted time together. On top of a lot of late nights the previous week so that Dave and I could do wedding stuff, I was already pretty tired. She reminded me on Sunday night to call the courthouse to see if I had jury duty, and unfortunately I did. So, I woke up at 6 AM, grinded out some work, and arrived to the city county building by 8 AM. Nbd, I’ll just get my run in after I’m released from the jury pool, I thought, because surely a far left liberal feminist with a master’s degree in analytical chemistry isn’t going to make it onto a jury for a murder trial, right? (at least that’s what everyone told me).
During jury selection, I was asked if I felt that certain circumstances could justify a crime, and how I felt about false confessions. I was honest: I do not believe in victim blaming, and I think if someone falsely confesses to a crime I would have to question the person’s mental capacity, which makes me wonder why he/she is fit to stand trial in the first place. Surely my honestly meant that I wouldn’t be chosen for this murder trial right? Wrong.
Until 5 PM on Monday we listened to the strangest case I have ever heard in my life. Side note: in middle school/high school I was involved in a volunteer organization called Teen Court, which taught me a lot about the legal system. If you have kids that need to volunteer for honor society or whatnot, I HIGHLY recommend.
Since the trial is now over, I can legally share details:
Woman 1 (W1) was (unhappily) married. Husband brought home Woman 2 (W2) (who was married to W1’s ex-husband) and suggested W1 and W2 be sister wives. W1 said no. Meanwhile, W1 brings Man 1 (M1) home and has him sleep in her bed “for security purposes.” She also meets Man 2 (M2), who happens to be her 4th cousin, and they develop a close (romantic?) friendship. Husband upsets W1 by continually sleeping with W2, so W1, M1, and M2 plan to murder Husband. M1 and M2 murder Husband, but leave body, vehicle, and murder weapon at the scene. M2 (who was on trial – M1 and W1 have already been convicted) was charged with murder and conspiracy. He confessed to the crime, but defense was arguing it was a false confession given under duress.
We made it through most of the witnesses on Monday, but the defense motioned to break for the day right before we were shown the confession tape. We had to be back by 9:15 on Tuesday.
I make it home around 6 PM and have two attention starved dogs. I take care of them and then am utterly EXHAUSTED. I still need to run.
In my own personal coaching, I tell my athletes that sleep comes first. Never force a run when you are completely sleep deprived. So, I listened to my own advice and took a nap…and fell asleep for the rest of the night. I got up at 6 the next morning and took the dogs for an hour long walk, then went for an hour long run. I hurried up and made it to the courthouse, only to wait. And wait. And wait some more. At noon, the judge told us that we were released, but had to return by 9 AM on Wednesday.
Fortunately, this meant I would be able to catch up on wedding stuff, go for another run, and tire out the dogs, since we were told that the case would last all day and into the night on Wednesday. I woke up at 5:35 AM today, took the dogs for another hour long walk, and then went for an 8 mile run. I can’t believe I would regularly meet my friends at 5 AM to run in grad school. I was dragging both yesterday and today. When that happens, I break my run up into 10% segments. Today, I just thought about 6.5 minutes at a time. Make it to 10%, then 20%, then 30%.... It helps. I got to the courtroom only to be greeted by the bailiff and both attorneys. It turned out the defendant signed a plea agreement and we were no longer needed. Kind of a bummer that I drove all the way downtown, BUT, the bailiff said that we still get our per diem for the day. I will walk away from the last three days $120 richer (plus whatever they give me for mileage). Not a bad way to make a little extra cash for the wedding.
As for running, I’m actually really happy I had this experience. I am aiming for 70 miles this week, which has always felt like a hard in-between mileage week. It takes more effort than 50, because it is usually when doubles start, but it isn’t as exhausting as 100 mile weeks. However, since you’re in the process of building, it feels like you’re running more than you are. Having a sleep deprived schedule has reminded me how fortunate I am that I’ve been able to build my life around training, and I’m going to try and remember not to take that for granted!
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Nothing Can Tear Us Apart: Chapter 1
The white, sheer curtains danced along the cool ocean breeze as the sound of crashing waves and seagulls echoed throughout the adjacent bedroom from the open balcony window; while she laid about on the bed, Alexa stirred slightly. Her body shifted to its side, in that same instant, her eyes fluttered open; at first glance, her vision blurred but steadily it came into full view. She smiled softly at the sight of her new husband sleeping soundly, his light snores and state of calmness brought warmth to her heart.
Careful not to rouse him, she quietly slid out from under the covers, her hand grasped the discarded robe from the floor and wrapped it around her body. Moving forward, she padded towards the open door and stepped out on to the balcony, with her arms folded on top of the railing; she breathed deeply and drank in the breathtaking view.
Crystal blue ocean that sparkled in the early morning light, white sandy beach with couples walking hand in hand, in addition to the cool tropical breeze providing such calm surrender; Alexa’s lids closed and her mind began to reminisce of the events leading up to this blessed moment. Within a week of their wedding, Rafael was dealt with an almost career ending blow, a woman was murdered using the exact same MO as the second avenue strangler who targeted innocent young women of New York; but upon further investigation, it turned out that the actual culprit was her ex-boyfriend, the head of a software company where they developed an app that could essentially serve up your life story on a platter.
Ultimately, he would use his app to blackmail key players in the investigation, including Rafael, after the perp was eventually brought up on charges, Alexa noticed a change in her husband.
There were times when he came home that he’d barely look her in the eye, and began to hit the scotch a lot more than usual; whenever Alexa tried to get him to open up, she was met with silence. In her search for answers, she went to Olivia for any kind of background information, but to no avail, the lieutenant advised the young woman to be patient with him.
Finally, after a few days of stone walling, Alexa cornered Rafael in their kitchen where he was preparing his morning coffee; he mentioned to her that he was taking some time off from work, which would give them the freedom to partake on their honeymoon; that in it of itself sent up a red flag to Alexa for she knew that he had never taken any time off except for when he was recuperating from being shot. With her arms folded and feet planted firmly on the hardwood floor, she stoically stared at Rafael and calmly said:
“I thought we agreed that there wouldn’t be secrets between us…not after everything we’ve been through”
He sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “Alexa…this isn’t a good time”
“Raf, I’m your wife…you can’t shut me out…I love you, you know you can tell me anything…” she stepped forward and cradled his face in her hands, gently and tenderly, her thumbs stroked his cheeks while her eyes relayed messages to his of nothing but love and trust.
Rafael placed his hands upon hers as his eyes looked upon her adoring features, slowly he lowered them down until they were between their bodies; with one free hand, he led her to the couch where they sat across from each other. However, he dared not make eye contact with her, his arms rested on his knees while he hung his head low; Alexa could only watch in sorrow.
She sighed, “Raf…does this have anything to do with that case you were working on?”
He nodded
“Olivia said that I should wait until you’re ready, but the not knowing is killing me…don’t you understand that you don’t have to carry this burden alone”
Tears began to creep up in Rafael’s eyes, but he was able to muster the strength to pull them back, he stared blankly at nothing, then after a moment of strained awkward silence; he finally let on.
“During the investigation, this guy, Willard found something from my past that he was going to use against me unless I drop the case”
Alexa softly nodded, “Go on”
“There’s a young woman named Astonja…I’ve been giving her and her grandmother money, but it’s not what you think”
Alexa reached over and placed her hand on Rafael’s knee, “I don’t think anything Rafael…just tell me what happened”
“Her mother was the only witness in a case where a man raped and killed 2 women…but there was a problem…she was a heroin addict. The day she was set to testify, she was so strung out that she could barely talk and the judge wouldn’t give me a recess…she asked for a loan so I gave it to her…knowing what she was going to use it for”
The grip on his knee tightened, his voice cracked as he continued to revisit what transpired
“She bought what she bought, and she did what she did, and she got up on that stand and she buried the guy…she sent a really bad man to prison for the rest of his life and she died of an overdose 8 hours later…leaving behind her 10-year-old daughter”
The tears he held back earlier leaked out on to his face, suddenly, Alexa leaped forward and wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled against his face; her lips pressed firm sweet kisses on the top of his head. She rocked his body back and forth while her fingers soothingly and lovingly stroked his hair, in a hushed tone; Alexa spoke:
“My sweet Rafael…I can’t imagine the guilt you must be feeling but you need to know that it wasn’t your fault…no matter what, she would still have bought drugs by some other means and the result would have been the same”
“That little girl lost her mother all because I wanted to win…regardless of the cost…I’m a horrible person”
“Stop it…” This time, Alexa cupped the side of his face and shifted it to where they were face to face.
The look of hurt and pain pierced Alexa’s calm demeanor, and soon enough, tears of her own began to trickle down.
“You did what you had to do to put an animal behind bars…and if you truly were a horrible person, you would have not gone back to that little girl and support her and her family…and if you think for one second that this changes how I feel about you then you’re wrong. I love you Rafael Barba and I’m not going anywhere”
Instantaneously, Rafael enveloped his wife in his arms and quietly sobbed as he buried his face into the crook of her shoulder, she rubbed his back to calm him then pulled him up to where they were facing each other again. Their lips pressed firmly in an explosion of love and affection, without saying another word, Rafael carried Alexa to their bedroom where they rid themselves of layers of clothing and engaged in passionate love making.
For the rest of that evening, they laid in each other’s arms, and once again, Alexa reassured him that she was there for him through the good and bad times. In the days that followed, Rafael met up with the DA, who wanted nothing more than to fire him but since he was a favorite among those at One Hogan Place; the worst he could do was a month suspension without pay.
For Alexa, it presented the perfect opportunity to plan their honeymoon, while researching prime traveling locations; she found an exclusive deal at a posh resort in the Bahamas. Beautiful ocean view with five star restaurants in the background and the suite was something out of magazine, four post king size bed, a large bathroom with a garden tub and walk in shower and to top it all off; terrace doors with a breathtaking view of the island paradise.
With a click of a button, she booked the room and reserved the plane tickets, from there she arranged for Lucia to watch Nadia while they’re gone and gave her notice to everyone at the shelter. When Rafael arrived home that day, she surprised him with a nice candlelit dinner and their bags all packed, there was a glint of reluctance in his eyes at her proposal.
Alexa took her hands into his and reaffirmed that this was the break he needed from all the drama surrounding him, after a bout of childish pleading, he caved. With a spring in her step, Alexa hugged Rafael and shared another night of unburdening intimacy. The day they set out on their trip, they drove the SUV to Lucia’s house where little Nadia was dropped off, the tiny infant cried as she was passed from her mother to her abuela, both parents bid their little one goodbye then headed towards the airport.
Alexa spent a good part of the flight snuggled against her husband, meanwhile, he browsed through his photo gallery on his phone; he smiled at the various pictures of his precious daughter sleeping peacefully and ones that captured their family time in bed together where he enacted small plays with her stuffed animals.
As soon as they landed, their luggage was collected and a cab was hailed for them to be escorted to the hotel. Upon checking in and finding their room, everything was unpacked and they were ready to kickstart their romantic escapade. The first night spent in that room was nothing more than the two of them cuddling up in bed, but beyond that, there were days filled with exploring the vast landmarks and activities that the island had to offer.
At one point, the two of them enjoyed a moonlit walk on the beach where it resulted in a late night skinny dip session, in every sense of the word, it was like they were living a dream. Small groans interrupted Alexa’s train of thought, she turned back towards the bedroom where Rafael was stretching his arms out and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, her feet retraced its steps back inside.
A soft smile crept along her face as she gazed at her husband’s appearance, his hair was a ruffled mess with some scruff that developed on his jawline, once he straightened himself up; his eyes met Alexa’s.
“Hey”
“Hey”
She crawled up on the bed then perched herself on top of his lap, their fingers laced together while they continued to be lost in each other’s eyes.
“Do we really have to go back?”
“You know we do”
Alexa’s face sullen, “Why can’t we live out here…you wouldn’t have to put up with egomaniacal DAs and Nadia would enjoy the wide-open space”
“It is tempting, but we have family and friends back home…we can’t just abandon them”
“I know”
She leaned down and gave him a small peck on his lips, then their foreheads pressed against one another’s.
“So, what do you want to do on our last day here?”
“Well…how about a nice romantic dinner, a walk on the beach and then we come back here for dessert”
Rafael hummed, “That sounds nice, what are we going to do til then?”
Alexa lifted a brow, “I can think of a lot things”
He lightly chuckled as his arms snaked around her waist, her arms mirrored his movements only around his neck, then he reached inside her robe and slowly removed it from her form. Underneath, she wore a white, satin slip, Rafael’s fingers teased the hem of it until they hooked inward and lifted it up to where Alexa was rid of the exotic lingerie.
Fully naked, Alexa repeated his actions by stripping off his grey shirt, her palms lay flat on his chest; her fingertips caressed the hairs on his chest and his pectorals. Through her ministrations, he let out small whimpers and moans, in no time at all, his hands glided from her hips to her breasts where he massaged the soft, delicate flesh.
Alexa tilted her head back as sighs and moans fell from her lips, then she leaned forward once again and sealed her lips with his; slow tender kisses mixed with their tongues ensued.
Rafael lifted his hips in an upward angle to slip off his sweatpants, once they were tossed aside, he continued to tantalize Alexa’s skin with his touch; her body temperature rose while her breathing quickened. With ease, he rendered her on her back and began peppering every inch of her skin with his lips, panting and moaning continued to expel from her.
Finally, Rafael positioned himself on top of her, with a few strokes of his member, he was at full mast; in a slow motion, he pushed into her. Alexa gasp as she clutched his back and wrapped her legs around his waist, she rocked her hips forward as a sign for him to move, he eagerly obliged by slowly thrusting then gradually increasing his speed. Every grunt was met with whimpers and moans, then Rafael slid in between them and started tracing slow circles upon Alexa’s clit, with every stroke her pleasure was building; and then at its peak, she exclaimed:
“Oh god Raf…I’m so close”
“I know carino…I’m right behind you”
His thrusts were hitting her sweet spot as her back arched off the bed, and then right at that moment, with a well angled thrust, both became consumed by their orgasms. A satisfied grin developed on Alexa’s face as she felt his release inside her, after he pulled out, Rafael laid beside his beautiful bride.
Their breathing slowed in a matter of minutes, at that moment, Alexa grabbed the covers from under them and shrouded their naked bodies, she scooted over to him where her head rested on his chest, with an arm around her; Rafael held her close as his heartbeat combined with the rising and falling of his chest lulled her to sleep.
As his fingers brushed through her hair, Rafael sleepily declared:
“I love you”
“Mmm…I love you too”
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Rocking the boat 3
A/N: No warnings for this chapter. Dean and Cas try to rationalize to Sam their decision for abandoning Penny but get screwed in return. Minor Gabriel/Penny fluff.
Words; 2,039
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Penny hadn’t moved her eyes from the place that Cas stood. Had her family really just abandoned her because she was in love with someone they found less than desirable? Of all the years in her life Dean and Cas swore they would always keep her safe and love her…now they were gone. They literally just walked out of her life!
“Penny?”
Gabriel’s voice pulled her from his thoughts as he walked across the room gathering her into his arms. Penny had finally got the courage to look at her boyfriend’s face. What she saw was fury. She had never seen Gabriel look this furious before. Sure she had seen him mildly irritated and annoyed when he was in full trickster mode but this was Gabriel….her Gabriel. Penny wished that Cas and Dean could see this Gabriel. What they saw was the trickster. They didn’t see the angelic side…the side that loved and protected her.
“I’m okay.”
She sniffed. Gabriel rolled his eyes.
“Yeah right and I was born yesterday. Precious you aren’t fooling me.”
Penny nodded feeling the hot tears well in her eyes as Gabriel put his chin on top of her head. He couldn’t stand the sight of the tears in her eyes. It was literally making Lucifer’s hatred of people seem sane.
“It will be okay darling. I promise.”
Penny couldn’t respond. She knew if she did it would come out as a loud sob and words even Gabriel couldn’t understand. He stood a few moments longer holding her.
“Come on baby, lets go back to bed.”
Neither said anything for a few moments. Gabriel looked down watching her blue eyes focus on the wall. He lovingly moved a strand of her hair away from her face.
“I know I don’t say it enough sugar but I love you. If you want I will go talk to your dad and the other moron to fix things. If that means we can’t be together…I understand. You need your family…”
Penny’s head popped up as she looked at Gabriel.
“What?! No. I want you. I’m in love with you! Gabriel if they will let something like our love push them away then…I don’t need them. You don’t abandon your child because shes in love with someone.”
Gabriel looked relieved at Penny’s response. The last thing he wanted was to give the woman up. She was the first actual person that Gabriel had loved in a long time.
“You need to get some rest baby.”
He said softly pulling Penny down into his arms.
Meanwhile,
Cas, Dean, and Sam had managed to get back to their hotel room. Sam was just looking at his brother and the angel with wide shocked eyes.
“So this is it? We just leave her with him? We don’t even go back and try to talk this out?!”
Dean nodded walking to the mini bar taking out one of the $10 mini bottles of whiskey. He downed it in one shot before looking at his brother.
“Its time Penny learns that there is consequences for her actions. Cas and I can’t baby her forever.”
Sam blinked. He was just beyond shocked. This was the absolute LAST thing that he had expected his brother to say or do. From Dean being the protective loving dad that he was to being oh I don’t care was a complete cluster fuck of emotions for Sam to process.
“Are you serious?! Dean you sound like dad!”
Dean shrugged.
“Maybe Dad was onto something.”
Sam quickly turned to Cas who was looking down at his shoes. His blue eyes were beyond devastated.
“Cas you of all people can’t do this to your own child. You made her! You two are just being salty because she loves Gabriel. He was right back there. If it was anyone but him you two would have been okay with it!!”
Cas looked up.
“Penny has to make her own choices. She needs to learn how to cope without Dean and I always being there. We have treated her like a child for too long. She needs to grow up.”
Sam ran a hand through his hair not believing what he was hearing.
“Sorry guys but I don’t share you fucked up thinking right now. I love Penny. I love her like she was my daughter and I am not about to let her be on her own with Gadreel after her.”
“She has an archangel”
Dean said dryly. The bitterness and jealousy in his voice was all too obvious and he didn’t make an effort to hide it from his brother. Sam rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, she does. She has someone really powerful who is in love with her. Its Gabriel…woo freakin hoo! I’m not letting Gabriel and Penny face all of this on their own. I’m not risking losing my niece because you two want to prove some point to your daughter. I’m out.”
Sam turned walking from the room without another word. The last thing Sam wanted was to be stuck with Gabriel for an extended amount of time but if it meant keeping Penny safe he would deal with it!
The next morning…
Penny woke up to an empty bed. She looked around he room rubbing her eyes.
“Gabriel?”
“Other room sugar snap. Put on some clothes.”
Penny slowly got out of the bed ignoring the sharp pain in her lower body. She smirked at the thought of Gabriel literally fucking her sore. Slipping into a pair of neatly folded yoga pants and her abandoned camisole, Penny slowly walked back into the living room. She froze the moment she saw Sam sitting on the couch.
“What are you doing here?”
Sam stood looking at his niece with tired eyes.
“Dean and Cas were wrong to do what they did and I want no part of that. Penny I have watched you grow up and you have every right to love whoever you love.”
Penny looked at her boyfriend who was sitting on the opposite couch with his feet on the coffee table. Gabriel gave her a nod.
“Thanks Sam. You can stay with us if you want but don’t think you are going to be telling me what to do.”
Sam nodded.
“You’re an adult. You need to make your choices. I am just keeping the promise that I made to your mother. I promised to keep you safe and I plan on keeping it that way.”
Penny was half way waiting for Gabriel to make a sassy witty comment but he didn’t. She wondered how long Sam had been in the living room and about the conversation that he and Gabriel had. What had they hashed out in the hours that she had been sleeping?
“I’m glad you are here Sammy.”
Penny said with a smile as she hugged her uncle. Gabriel stood. He and Sam didn’t even seemed to acknowledge the other as he pulled Penny in his arms. He didn’t care that Sam looked a little grossed out. The abnormally large Winchester would have to get used to it. He was about to see a lot of physical affection between the archangel and his prize.
“I’m going to find you some breakfast princess then we are getting the hell out of here.”
Meanwhile….
Dean awoke in a cold sweat. He had a restless night sleep all night. Every dream he had was a memory of Penny as a child. The last one disturbed him the most…
Penny was still a baby and was crying…Dean awoke like he did any other night hearing her cries. Where was Cas? Normally night time was Cas’ shift. Cas usually spent most nights holding the baby girl memorizing all of her features. It was rare when Penny was put into her crib. It was probably the reason she hated the thing. She was so used to sleeping in her father’s arms at night being put into something so big and cold was not acceptable.
Dean lay in bed a moment longer waiting to hear Cas go into the room and comfort the baby. He was used to hearing Cas whisper softly to her in enochian to calm her down. When the crying continued Dean finally got up stumbling into the opposite bedroom.
“All right Penny. Daddy is here.”
When he looked down into the crib his heart stopped seeing no baby in the crib.
“Penny?”
His voice trembled as he removed one blanket to only find another blanket repetitively.
“Looking for this?”
Dean stood turning to see Gabriel holding Penny with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, let me have her.”
Gabriel said coldly. Gabriel shook his head. His golden eyes looked cold. This Gabriel was different. There was something more sinister to him….more angelic. Dean winced at the realization that Gabriel was in true archangel from.
“No. You threw her away like she was trash. You get what you get.”
Dean had awoken from the dream trembling. He looked around the room for Cas but saw not one sign of his lover. Dean ran a hand through his hair before he quickly dressed bolting from the room. He had to talk to Penny!
Arriving at the other hotel, Dean took the stairs two at a time until he arrived at the room. Banging on the door Dean was almost jumping up and down. Why wasn’t she answering?! Why wasn’t the stupid archangel answering? If Sam was there where the hell was he?
Having enough, Dean finally jimmied his way into the room. Once he got in Dean’s heart sank. The room was perfectly clean awaiting another guest. She wasn’t there. Penny was gone! Something shinning on the bed caught Dean’s attention. He walked into the room hoping to see a note or something. Instead he found the locket that he and Cas had bought Penny when she turned 6. Penny had never taken it since the day they gave it to her. Now here it was abandoned in an empty hotel room.
Dean sat down on the bed holding the locket in his hands. Putting his head down Dean felt like the biggest ass known to man. Not only had he lost his little brother but now his little girl, his little princess, was gone. He had the sinking feeling that he would never see her again. For the first time in along time Dean allowed himself to cry….
How would he tell Cas? This wasn’t what they expected. Deep down Dean believed that both he and Cas thought that Penny would come running back to them just like she always had. They never expected her to take off with Gabriel. That was what they didn’t tell Sam the night previous. It had been a ploy to teach Penny that she shouldn’t have lied to them. Instead it was clearly teaching both Dean and Cas a lesson. They should have listened to their daughter.
Taking out his phone, Dean called Penny’s number. As he waited for a her to answer the sound of her phone ringing came from across the room. Dean groaned throwing his own phone angrily. She hadn’t even taken her phone with her. She knew that he could trace her. Penny knew all of their tricks.
Dean sighed getting up taking his phone from the floor. He growled angrily as he looked for Cas’ number. The last thing Dean could handle at the moment was hearing Cas’ voice. He knew a text in this situation was a pretty big douche move but Dean couldn’t handle anything else.
“Cas, she’s gone. I came to talk to her. She and Gabriel are completely MIA. She has left her phone and took off. Our baby is gone…”
@greenappleeyes
@jannalionheart
@1-more-internet-kid
#Gabriel#gabriel the archangel#dean winchester#castiel#dean and cas#sam winchester#supernatural fanfiction
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Birthday Wishes // Lin-Manuel Miranda
Authors Note: Yes , I know Lin’s birthday was yesterday and I started this yesterday but of course I didn’t have the time to finish it. Anyways, this is a one shot tribute to Lin turning 37 yesterday! (Also a little side note; in this Lin was never with Vanessa, and I don’t know who and who doesn’t have a Twitter in the cast since I don’t get on often, so don’t mind me)
Word Count: 1,583
Plot: You and the cast go all the way to make a surprise party happen for Lin. In the end you guys finally succeed at confessing and shit
Warnings: Cussing
You walked through the back of the auditorium, rubbing your sleep deprived eyes as you passed dressing room after dressing room.
Halfway down the hall you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. You groaned and took it out, your attention going there instead of where you were walking.
It was just a Twitter notification, of course. You were about to shut your phone off until you bumped into someone rather harshly. Stumbling back, you glared at the ground. You were not in a great mood.
You both mumbled a curse and you looked up to see that you bumped into Phillipa. Then the scowl on your face turned immediately into a smile, “Thank god, I thought I had to punch someone today.”
She laughed wholeheartedly and wrapped her arms around you, “Sorry I bumped into you, I didn’t know you were in a pissy mood today. Someone hasn’t has their coffee.”
You rolled your eyes, “Cut it out Pippa, I just haven’t had much sleep lately.” She pulled away with a smile on her face and she cupped your cheeks. You put on a frown and tried to pull away but she just pulled you back.
“Y/N, guess what today is?”
You shrugged and thought for a moment, “Uh, January 16th?” Phillipa quirked a brow and tilted her head a bit. That’s when you realized, “Oh, shit! It’s Lins birthday!” You practically screamed.
She nodded before freeing your face from her death grip, “Also, if you see him. Do not tell him happy birthday.” You were about to protest until she cut your thoughts off, “The whole cast is in on it, we’re going to make him think we forgot his birthday. Then when he gets home, poof! Surprise party for Mr. Miranda.”
You slowly nodded, and with a wink and a nudge to your side she spoke again, “Aaand, you know what that means.”
You nudged her back twice as hard, you could do these things because she was practically your sister, “I know what you’re talking about, and you better shut up!” She knew you liked Lin, everyone knew you liked Lin. But then again thankfully Lin himself didn’t know.
You threw your hands up in the air, “Listen, I’m over him!” She stopped in her tracks all of a sudden, which made you stumble a bit.
“Y/N, it’s not good to lie,” she smiled teasingly, which caused you to roll your eyes (once again) and shrug, “Maybe I like him a little.”
“Like who?” You heard a voice from down the hall making it’s way over to you. You jumped and nearly screamed, causing both of them to laugh. Of course, it was Lin, sneaky as ever.
Your thoughts ran frantically.
‘How much did he hear of the conversation?’
'Come on, he probably doesn’t even like me.’
'Please tell me he wasn’t there the whole time.’
You swiveled around and smiled at Lin, “Heyyy, we were just talking about Tom Hiddleston, ya know, I like him just a bit.” Lin stared at you, his eyes boring into yours with a concerned expression on his face, “Well, okay.”
Soon enough his concerned expression formed into a smile towards your way, which made your heart melt, and he started walking past, “Hey, I’ll see the two of you later. I’m going to be hanging in my dressing room.” Both you and Phillipa nodded. Usually when the show wasn’t going on, you guys just hung out back stage. It was kind of like your second home. He was about to the door when you blurted, “Hey, Lin? By the way, ha-”
Shit, you almost blew the whole plan. He faced you with a quirked brow, and a small smile playing on his lips. Probably because he thought he was going to actually get a , “Happy birthday!” From someone.
“Uh, have a good time.”
His smile dropped into a frown quick enough, “Yeah, thanks, Y/N.” And with that he poked his head back in his dressing room.
You inhaled deeply and you almost laughed at Pippas wide eyes. “Okay, first of all, you almost blew the cover, I was about to knock some sense into you.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Ugh, but did you see his face? He seemed so sad!” She smirked again and put her hands on her hips.
“Pip, shut up.”
Meanwhile Lin was sat in his dressing room, scrolling through Twitter with a frown on like he did on a daily basis.
The only birthday tweets he saw were from fans, and no one else. Even Jonathan usually bombarded him with a bunch of birthday shit around this time.
But no tweet from him, no text, and even no face to face shit. “I’m a grown man, why am I acting like this? Birthdays are birthdays.”
But then he remembered that he was practically a child in a grown mans body. His attention was torn from his negative thoughts into his phone screen when it buzzed, it was a twitter notification from Jonathan. There it was, that’s what gave him hope.
But then again, that hope was shattered when he read it. It wasn’t even a birthday message.
A few hours have passed and you grunted as you hung up the last decoration.
You, Pippa, and Renée spent the last couple of hours decorating Lin’s house too to bottom with decorations.
You guys knew he was feeling sad that everyone “forgot” about it, and of course you wanted to make it extra special for him.
“Oh stop complaining Y/N! You want to impress the man you looooove,” Renée teased, and you threw a bundle of streamer at her that you guys didn’t need. She dodged it and her and Pippa started laughing. Damn, did they love teasing you. But, that’s what friends were for.
You picked up your phone from in between the couch cushions and you scrolled through your contacts until you found a specific one under the name of , 'Lin’ Basic, but at least she could identify it.
“Hey, when are you going to be home? I heard that you’re still in your dressing room. You need to come out at some point.”
Her phone buzzed almost immediately after,
“I’m on my way, it’s about a 10 minute drive, no need to worry!”
Your eyes widened and you looked over to Renée and Phillipa, “He’s going to be here soon, where the hell are the rest?”
Only a few seconds after, the doorbell rang, and both girls laughed, “You don’t say?” You buried your face in your hands and sighed, “Come in!” With that, the door opened and in flooded pretty much the whole cast. Daveed, Leslie, Anthony, Jasmine, Oakiriete, Jonathan, etc.
“Damn, where did you guys come from? Did you come here in a clown car!?” You heard Renée exclaim, which made you smile a bit. That’s when Jasmine decided to speak up, “We all met up downtown, then walked over here. Lin can’t just have multiple cars in his driveway. That gives it all away.”
Now that gave you relief.
You looked back up again as you heard an engine outside. You quickly got up and bolted to the window, seeing Lins car pull into the driveway. “The hell? He said in 10 minutes! It’s been like 5!”
“Ignore that, shut off the lights!” Phillipa yelled. Everyone dashed away from the door and just stood in random places, the lights would be off anyways.
About 2 minutes have passed and the door opened to reveal a stressed out Lin, the sudden brightness made everyone wince, but that didn’t stop them from yelling , “SURPRISE!”
Lin smiled bigger than you’ve seen all day, you could see the tears well up in his eyes even from where you were sitting on the couch. He wiped his eyes and started talking, “I thought you guys forgot my birthday, you made me fucking frantic!”
Everyone laughed and pulled Lin into the house. Anthony turned on some music and the party began. Everyone drank, everyone danced, and everyone had a good time.
You still remained on the couch, twiddling your thumbs as you eyed your drink on the table. You felt the weight of a cushion shift down beside you. You looked up and there sat Lin, all smiley and bubbly. Looks like you guys definitely cheered him up. It caused you to smile at you sat up, “Hey, Lin. How’s the party?”
“It’s great, I can’t believe any of you would take the effort to do something like this for me.”
“We’ll do whatever it takes to make our founding father happy.” He laughed and then his face softened a little. You didn’t even notice you were staring at each other, until your faces got closer. And closer. And closer, until you could feel his breath on your lips. Then they touched.
Fireworks erupted like they never have before and you grabbed onto the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Everyone stopped what they were doing to cheer you guys on.
“FINALLY!” You heard Pippa, Jasmine, and Renée yell at the same time. Schuyler sisters or not, they definitely thought like sisters.
Both of you sadly pulled away, because breathing was unfortunately a thing. He grinned while heat rose to your cheeks. “Thank you, Y/N. For everything. .can I kiss you again?”
You chuckled, grabbing his collar and pulling him close again, smashing your lips into his.
This was a dream come true.
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