#me: too scared to ask trent questions; also me: pretends to have a conversation with trent in the tumblr tags

[fazcinatingblog]

dangerous

[babybadger]

One where Trent just found out he’s going to be a dad for the second time and he’s freaking out so Jordan speaks to him at training a and offers for your families to meet up and talk about having two young kids ~ sorry this is long I just thought it was cute xxx

ahhh this is so cute, P.S don’t ever worry about long requests, it gives me more to work with so they end up long like this :)❤️

Trent had been so excited when he found out you were pregnant again. With your first daughter being only one though, he began to panic when you were settled in bed. It’s silent as you lie on Trents chest, getting in some snuggles before your bump grows and gets in the way again.

“Do you think it’ll be hard?” he asks out of nowhere, his accent thicker than ever in his low tone. “What? Another baby? I mean we did it with Mia and look how amazing she turned out.” You ask not moving your head from his chest or opening your eyes. You knew Trent would have his eyes wide open, cogs in his brain turning incredibly fast, thinking about your first daughter. You’re not upset, are you?” You ask in a quiet voice, sitting up to face him. He also shuffled back to sit up by the headboard and put his arm around you. “No ofcourse not, I’m excited I promise. I’m just worried about leaving you all the time knowing you’ll have to worry about Mia and being pregnant and then having another baby when Mia’s only like 2.” You smile softly at him and lightly push his shoulder down to force him to lie down again. Snuggling back into him you quietly say “I’m a strong women Trent, I might cry a lot when I’m pregnant but it’s worth it for our babies.”

The next day at training, Trent’s head was all over the place. He had left before you even woke up, checking Mia was okay before kissing both of his girls heads and going to work as normal. At breakfast in the canteen, he couldn’t shake the thought of you having morning sick when you were pregnant with Mia and wondering if it was happening right now, without him there to help. He was staring into space before his teammates snapped him out of it and Joe told him it was time for them to head to the changing rooms.

As they got ready for training Trent was silent. It was weird not having his thick accent or belly laugh fill the room and Jordan was the first to notice it. The other boys had all left when Trent had only sat down to put on his shoes. “Fuck” he muttered under his breath knowing he was going to be late for drills. Meanwhile Jordan had asked Klopp if he could speak to Trent for a bit to fix whatever was getting him down. Klopp ofcourse said yes and sent the captain on his way.

Back in the changing room Trent was tying his last lace and about to put on his shin pads. “Right sit down whats up?” Jordan said sharply walking into the changing room. “In fact let’s find a private space c’mon.” The captain demanded again. Trent was completely confused but followed Jordan to an empty meeting room. They sat down and Trent tried to not make eye contact with him. He knew Jordan wanted to have a go at him for his head not being in it during the morning meeting or breakfast.

“Tell me whats going on.” Jordan said leaving back in the chair. Trent looked confused at him. “Don’t pretend something isn’t cause I’ve known you since before you broke first team and I’ve never seen you this spaced out.” “She’s pregnant” Trent mutters as Hendo comes to the end of his sentence. “What?” “She’s pregnant again” Trent sighs his hands wiping over his face. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted to cry. “Congrats mate! Why you upset? I mean I know it’s yours cause Y/N isn’t a cheater. So what’s there to not like?” Hendo questions his teary eyed friend.

“Mate it’s okay seriously. I thought you loved having a kid? Here” He said passing the box of tissues from his side of the table to Trent. “I do, I love Mia with my whole heart, you know that. But I missed all the little things she did as a tiny baby. Y/N used to tell me how she’d scrunch up her nose when she cried at midday which meant she was ready for her nap, and how hard she would laugh at the lunchtime shows on TV because they were so colourful. I missed all that man and the only thing I wanted with our next child if we had one was to have them once I was nearer retiring so I could see all those moments.”

Jordan is entirely touched my his teammates speech. He knew how much family meant to trent but hearing his speak so highly of them was admirable. He went to explain himself but Trent wasn’t done, he needed everything off his chest. “and now I’m leaving my pregnant wife to look after our 1 year old which will eventually mean she’ll be looking after a terrible two year old and a newborn by herself so I can go kick a ball about. I mean what if she takes out the frustration on me and I come home one day and just see a pen and divorce papers on the table and I have to..” “TRENT” Hendo says loudly shaking his friends shoulders out of it as Trent gets stuck staring onto space and working himself up again.

Trent was fully unaware that he had gone into a trance thinking of the fact you could leave him. Massive tear tracks formed down his face and he wipes them with the tissues. “Can I speak now or do you need to say more?” Jordan chuckles. Trent just nods, his throat still caught with emotion. “I know exactly how you feel okay? When my second girl was born, I was convinced Rebecca was leaving me one night when she was late home from her mums with the girls. Cried for a hour on the stairs just waiting on her, terrified she’d gone. It’s okay to be scared mate, alright? It’s natural and you’re still so young. I’ll speak to Rebecca about keeping Y/N company and giving her tips about how to look after two young ones okay? She’s not alone in this. I’ll talk to Klopp about cutting you some slack aswell, he’s a father too he’ll get it.” Hendo looks straight across the table at Trent and let’s out a large sigh. “Stop being so hard on yourself”

“Ahhh come in come in” You beckon to Jordan and Rebecca as they come to your house for a visit a few nights later. “Y/N I..ugh.. I honestly hate to be a pain but the girls fell asleep in the car, so you mind if we put them upstairs in a bed?” Y/N smiles a massive friendly smile. “Tonight Mi casa es su casa” You laugh and let Jordan carry a girl in both arms upstairs. “So I believe I’m here to give you tips” Rebecca days to you. “Me? Tips on what?” Your friend looks at you shocked “oh my god he didn’t tell you” She then turns to Jordan who’s coming down the stairs, “ he didn’t tell her.” He also sighs and you look between the two of them stressed.

Two hours later and they had explained the who situation to you. Jordon went over what happened at training and by the end you were begging Rebecca for more tips, writing them all in your phone. Mia lay silently in Jordan’s arms, staring up at her Godfather with wife eyes as he made funny faces at her to keep her quiet.

The door suddenly slams notifying the adults that Trent was back from his physio and fitness check. “Hey Y/N I’m home who’s car is that in the drivewayyyeeeeHey Jordan” He squeaks at the end knowing he was caught. He didn’t want you knowing he was stressed in fear that you would stress more. “Alright mate?” Jordan replied passing Mia up to Trent before he took a seat back beside you. “Becca and Jordan here were giving me tips for caring for two young ones at once.” You say smiling sweetly at Trent who almost sighed of relief that you hadn’t been notified about the training incident a couple of days ago. “Hey babygirl, who’s getting so big? Yes yes you are” Trent cooed at his daughter, blowing raspberries on her tummy to make her laugh as you saw the other couple out.

Eventually Trent had got Mia to sleep after a bottle and he climbed back into bed with you. Yet again he kissed you goodnight and you held each other tight, kidding yourselves that you weren’t going to have a conversation before you slept. “I’m terrified too you know” You start the conversation but he doesn’t reply. “Terrified about giving birth again, terrified about caring for a newborn again, terrified about the back pain, heat sweats and headaches again, Terrified that Mia will be a jealous sister and hate me for caring for the baby. the list goes on. I’m really scared Trent.” You finished and Trent feels your tears roll from your cheeks to his chest. “Oi babygirl none of that yeah? We got each other to lean on. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I feel, just that you were so excited about having a baby I didn’t want to drag you down. Now I know communication is key and as cheesy as it is, if we communicate we’ll get through it and have a happy healthy baby by the end yet again, okay?”

You nodded your head and Trent crawled down to your belly and began to speak to your baby who was barely a baby yet. “Mummy and daddy are terrified of you and you probably don’t even have proper toes yet.” He started off which made you laugh. These were the most important moments. Even if Trent missed what happened during the day, he always made up for it in love. Love always conquers fear.

[sunlightpike]

Caleb’s backstory conversation transcription (under the cut because of length)

Fjord: Alright, can we maybe circle back to the— Jester: Caleb. Caleb: Um…
 Jester: We can tell you’re really, you know… scared. And that’s okay! To be scared. We just don’t know why. Fjord: Yeah, maybe if you share with us your apprehensions, it’ll ease it a bit? [Caleb inhales, goes to say something, stops. Beau puts a hand on his shoulder] Beau: You got this, man. Caleb: Your name is Veth? Nott: It was. Caleb: My name was Bren Aldric Ermendrud. Was. Jester: Wh— Caleb: And um— Nott: That’s why you looked at me. That day. [Caleb nods] Caleb: I um— [Caleb puts a hand on Beau’s shoulder. Beau puts a hand on his.] Jester: Did you— did you die too? Nott: Twinsies? Caleb: I have been using you all. Jester: How?
 Caleb: Um. I— I am from Rexxentrum. I attended the Soltryce Academy. And um… I was plucked by one of the Cerberus Assembly with a few others and um— was being trained to do the kinds of things that I fear may have been done to— Jester: Yeza? 
Caleb: Y—Yeah. And uh— A lot of big plans for me that didn’t pan out. And I went a little crazy. And I— I ran away. I ran away. I’ve been on the run for a long time. And I was tired of s—starving. And I met… [looks to Nott] I met you. And was a little less hungry for a while. And I have just been afraid for a long time, and two of the people in that town over there are on the Cerberus Assembly.
 Nott: Do you know them? Caleb: I know who they are. Jester: Would they know who you are? Caleb: I— I don’t think so. But I have walked past their portrait at school many times. Beau: Ew. Jester: Well they’re high up then, huh? 
Caleb: One of them is the head of the Cerberus Assembly. Jester: Holy shit Fjord: The head of the whole thing?
 Beau: Mr. Fancypants? 
Jester: Wait isn’t that where you want to go, Fjord? Fjord: I— I mean I did. That’s the center of magical teaching in the empire. As I understood it. Jester: But it’s— it’s really bad, or something? Caleb: There’s— there’s good teachers, it’s— its’ everything they describe it to be. But after going there for several months, one of the assembly who also would teach on occasion started interviewing me. Calling me in and asking me a lot of questions. And uh— he— he sort of put me in advanced class. Me and a few others. I— I don’t want you all to be seen with me because if you are seen with me by one of them… they will use you to get to me. Nott: Well, I mean, I don’t want them to see me either because they’ll kill me and everyone I’m with, so—anyone in town— so I— I think we’ll be hiding for some time. Caleb: You— you met the man who trained me. His name is Trent Ikithon. Jester: That’s why you always make that face. I’m sorry Caleb. Caleb: I’m not a very good person Jester: Well. I don’t think our actions define who we are all the time. Good people do bad things sometimes. Even bad people do good things. I think you’re a good person. Beau: Yeah and for the record Nott, I don’t think it’s us that’s been rubbing off on you, I think it’s you that’s been rubbing off on us. Fjord: Also I don’t think a very bad person would care about us. Jester: I don’t think a very bad person would care that he was very bad. Beau: Do you care about us? You’ve told us several times how you’ve been using us Jester: Are you secretly in love with me? Caleb: I am worried— about your husband. I know the things that they can do. [Caleb unwraps the bandages off of one of his arms. It is covered in faint scars from cuts, all up the arm] Caleb: He— he used to put crystals in. He— he experimented on— on us. On the three of us. Nott: What— what would they do? What? Crystals? Caleb: He was trying to strengthen us. Beau: The dunamus? 
Caleb: No. No, the first time I have ever seen that word was in your libraries. Just… haphazardly scrolled into a book. No explanation. No, I— we— everything was for empire. We were being trained to serve our empire. Above all else. He— he was a little mad himself. That is an… he was mad. Beau: I’m curious as to how much was for the empire, and how much the empire was a veil for his own personal exploits. Caleb: He— he believed that the unwashed masses relied on their base instincts and the highest calling was to rise above the muck and control the cattle for the good of all. Jester: That sounds like a bad person Caleb: But we were— are at war. And many of us felt that way. Feel that way. Nott: Do you still feel that way. [Caleb shakes his head] Caleb: But I don’t believe in anything, now. Fjord: This Trent, does he know these two that we saw? 
Caleb: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. And I— I don’t want one more thing on my head to have you guys… it’s probably too late anyway. Fjord: How powerful are these two? Our normal tricks, would the fall short?Caleb: The Cerberus Assembly are the most powerful mages in the empire. Over two centuries ago, a number of mages went to war in the streets of Rexxentrum. And it was bloody and awful and eventually they came to a truce. And banded together. And proposed to the king at the time that they serve as an advising body alongside the throne. Jester: Would they see if we were disguised? Or would they have to look for us? Do you know what I mean?
 Caleb: I don’t know for sure but there is a reason why I did not use anything like that back there. Fjord: So we need to give them a very wide berth. But at the same time we need to figure out where— Nott: Why would they— would they have taken my husband? He was not a magic person, he was just a chemist. Caleb: I don’t know. It is something to do with this— the thing. Jester: It says it. Caleb: Yeah. But I don’t know why him. Jester: It says his instincts are solid. Nott: What instincts? 
Jester: Yeza, I’m assuming. [reading] “While I find this alchemist obnoxious in his simplicity—“ I’m sorry, I don’t believe that. Nott: I don’t either Jester: “— the academy’s eye for talent proves itself again.” Caleb: Was he gifted? In his work Nott: He was very brilliant in his work, but I— I mean, I never saw him do any magic— magic-y things. Fjord: Did he experiment? 
Jester: it says they want him to produce a number of batches of this— of that liquid. The one that we stole. Caleb: That is what is written about there. It talks about— It’s… listen I don’t pretend to know what we’re talking about, but it does not seem like anything that I ever studied. Nott: He was good at what he did, he could turn— he could refine anything. Jester: They wouldn’t kill him then. They need him. They need him to make batches over the next 12-16 months. Fjord: I’m sure he’s alive. But if he was good at breaking things down, taking them apart, experimenting on things, this thing that we have falls directly into that. 
Caleb: It says they are looking for a way to achieve their ends without the object. I— I hope he is alive, I truly do. They will make his life very painful though. Beau: Trent Ikithon was… looking at Yasha. He was side-eyeing Yasha. Fjord: What do you mean? Jester: Well she’s really hot. Beau: I feel like I’ve heard these words before. When we were in that bar. He… looks for prodigies, people with innate talent. I don’t think it matters. Nott: If they took my husband, where would they have taken him? Where— their headquarters are in Rexxentrum? At a school? At a— Caleb:  The city of Rexxentrum. Nott: The whole city is their headquarters? Caleb: They are based there Beau: And the Cerberus Assembly actually has a pretty heavy hold on Rexxentrum. Caleb: And the— the empire. They are… close to as powerful. Arguably more powerful than the king. Jester: I wonder if umm— Maybe we can break them out before he gets there. Maybe… he— it only just happened. Nott: Can they— do they have magical means of transport? Caleb: We watched De’leth appear 200 feet in front of us. Nott: So they could already be there. Caleb: Maybe. Beau: I’d be one to lay money on it. Nott: When— when— when did you get your new name? Caleb: I… used a lot of names. Caleb is just what I told you. Fjord: What do you prefer? Caleb: I don’t know. Caleb. Let’s stick with Caleb for now. Nott: Well… shit. It seems like if we are going to chase down my husband, you’re going to have to go into danger. Too much danger. Caleb: I honestly don’t know if we can… if we are up to this. Unless they are on route, on land, maybe… but… that’s all the might of the empire. Jester: Are we going to have to scout out, and listen in on people’s conversations? Fjord: We should just ask. We should ask to see if anyone saw a carriage, anything, leaving town with Yeza. Jester: Maybe if we go with our— our insurance company scheme, we can say that we believe there’s been fraud and he’s not really dead or something. Beau: Nott? Nott: Yes? Beau: Sorry, you were gonna say something. Nott: No, I just had more questions. Beau: I was gonna ask you a question. Nott: Go ahead. Beau: I don’t think you know the answer though. Your son mentioned that a mean lady with pointy ears keeps coming by. Nott: Is that one of these people that you— that we saw? Did— they had pointy ears, they’re elves, right? Caleb: They’re both elves. Nott: Did one of them look mean? Beau: Well. If he’s talking about Vess DeRogna Nott: Is that someone who would’ve— Do you know her to be someone who would be… someone who could harness chemicals and— Caleb: Vess DeRogna, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no, Vess DeRogna is the archmage of antiquities. She is half a recluse. She taught at the school— not me, or years above me. Fjord: What does that mean, antiquities? Nott: Would she be interested in the things that Yeza was— Caleb: She’s a historian. She knows— she has uncovered… mysteries of the past, they would say at school. She’s a history buff, and awful as well, probably. Beau: She’s awful. Nott: But could she be the one who was visiting my home?
Beau: It sounds like they’ve been here watching your husband for quite some time. Which means… checking in on your son. Caleb: De’leth is domestic protection. He is the head of the military. So if they are both here I would imagine that he is here overseeing all of the red brands we saw and she is probably here trying to figure out what’s in that bag. Nott: And then… do we have, I— because I just don’t know how this all connects. Do we know why the Cricks also attacked? Did they sense a disturbance in their juice or whatever that stuff is? The dunamus? Jester: do you think maybe they’re attacking because we have the thingy? 
Nott: But we’ve had the thingy for a long time, it doesn’t explain why they would attack here, now. Caleb: They could be combing the empire for it. Fjord: It might not be the only one. Beau: It feels like… it is a piece of dunamus, right? [Caleb rolls an intelligence check and remembers that it mentioned more than one beacon. They read over the letters a bit more, reading about the effects of the beacon that they had. Jester suggests doing some things with the dodecahedron, but the rest of the group insists it’s too dangerous to do here. Marisha asks some questions about the people they saw in Zadash fighting the assassin. They talk about the dodecahedron a bit more and theorize about it, talking about when Caleb saw the word for the first time.] Beau: What were you looking for when you found it? What were you trying to find?
 Caleb: I was studying history and— I need to become more powerful. If I want to… do anything. 
Beau: You still haven’t answered my previous question of how you were using us, and what that means to you. Jester: Oh yeah Caleb: Prote— look at me. I am a stringbean, I am weak as it comes. I am weak. [pokes Beau’s arm] Look at that. [points to Yasha] Look at her. 
Jester: Look at me Beau: Her guns are bigger than mine Caleb: You have no guns. That was an exaggeration that day. You are just fast and quick and talented. Beau: Okay, okay, okay, was that a compliment? Fjord: I think so Beau: Okay Nott: I feel like there’s a difference between using someone and relying on someone. Beau: That’s what I was gonna say. Do you think that Fjord was using us. Do you think that Nott’s been using us? You know, and we’re also here. Volunteering our help. Jester: Yeah. It’s only using us if you don’t like us. Do you like us, though?
Caleb: yeah Nott: you do? Caleb: I uh— [Jester waves her hands around] Caleb: ohh, Jester. I am glad you see good in me. Beau: Caleb you were right when you said earlier that it’s too late now. That we’re involved. But I don’t think we see it in the same way that you do. It’s too late now because, whether you like it or not, we all care about you and are invested in, you know, like your happiness I guess. So… Caleb: Okay Beau: Don’t run. You can say you don’t believe in anything, and that’s fine… Believe in us just a little bit? [Caleb nods] Caleb: I will consider it heavily. Beau: I’m— I’m sorry for not hearing you, yesterday. Honestly, you saying that you don’t believe in anything kind of… put everything into perspective about that conversation. I heard that you were doubting me and us and our friendship. Caleb: I don’t doubt any of you at all. [Calls to Caduceus] You too. Caduceus: Yeah, I’ll have some if someone’s making something. That’s good.

[florianwirtz]

It’s not right, but it’s okay - Trent Alexander-Arnold

Warnings: strong language, mentions of drug use

It was one of those cold Liverpool nights where Trent had decided to go out as his tight schedule allowed him to do nothing on the next day. Nevertheless, he found himself leaving the club earlier than originally planned as he quickly realised that being the only sober person surrounded by all of his drunk friends was no fun at all.

Never in his life did he expect what would happen to him on his way home.

At this time of the night, the streets were empty, the street and car light the only source of vision he had while he was driving.

Which is why he nearly didn't spot the person sitting on the curb near a bus stop, face buried and hands wrapped around her knees. The first thing he noticed was the short pants and thin jacket the person was wearing which made him frown confusedly. Liverpool at night in this season was anything but warm

The good person he was, he decided to stop by and offer some help as his instinct told him that something might be wrong with her. Because even if it was just a homeless person, he knew that sometimes a simple conversation was enough to make a person's day.

"Are you okay?" He asked cautiously while standing in front of her, waiting for her to reveal her face.

The figure flinched slightly at the sound of his voice, probably only realising now that he was speaking to her and slowly raised her head to see who was bothering her.

He couldn't believe who was sitting in front of him.

"Wait... I know you!" Trent called out your name in a questioning tone as he didn't know how to greet you, his former best friend. Due to the hood which hid every space of your hair, he only managed to identify you now.

You only chuckled quietly at his surprised expression. "This is everything you have to say to an old friend of yours, after all this time? How long has it been, three years?"

His eyes only eyed you up as a response which only made you laugh louder. But it wasn't a joyful laugh, it was full of irony and bitterness and so was your response.

"Do I look so miserable so that my presence made you speechless?"

"N-no it's not like that." He finally managed to stammer out, now unsettled by your snappy reaction. "I simply didn't expect you to sit here all alone, that's why. I mean you're evidently not dressed appropriately for this weather so why would you voluntarily sit here in the cold? Where are your friends? Or your boyfriend?" He asked as he had the Instagram pictures of you and people he didn't know in mind, assuming they were from your friends from college. He also remembered the picture with a boy, standing a bit too close for his taste to being considered only as a friend.

"If this is all what you have to say, then you're welcome to leave me alone now." Your glance was cold, your words harsh, making Trent flinch one step back. Now he felt even more unsure about how to approach you as everything he seemed to say was wrong. Nothing reminded him of the warm personality he had always appreciated anymore. It was like he was talking to a stranger and not a person he used to call best friend.

An awkward silence appeared as for some reason Trent was unable to go away even though you just told him to get lost. Maybe it was his instinct which told him that your inexplicable rudeness towards him was only a cover-up for a call for help. Or maybe it was just his characteristic to believe in the good nature of humans always and made him feel responsible to stay and figure out what your problem was.

So instead of going back to his car, he offered you his hand.

"Come on, I'll drive you home, you will freeze yourself to death otherwise."

And he achieved the reaction he wanted as your repellent expression changed to a surprised one since you were used to people leaving you alone as soon as they realised you weren't too keen to talk to them. But Trent was different compared to the others, instead of giving up he tried, again and again, not being scared of receiving another snappy reaction of yours.

"I'm not cold and I can't go home, my mam thinks I'm with a friend, she will kill me if she sees me like this." You said without any intention to move from your current place. "Just drive home, I'll survive somehow."

While you still weren't ready to cooperate with him, the sudden vulnerability in your voice didn't go unnoticed and as he squatted down in front of you and took a closer look at you, he immediately saw the exhausted and dejected eyes behind your stern expression. His concerns and suspicions about your stubbornness to stay here were confirmed as you immediately tried to turn your face away as soon as his hand tried to examine it further, but your reaction was too slow so that he managed to get a hold of your face.

"Are you on drugs?!" He immediately asked after seeing a shade of redness in your pupils, the concern and disbelief in his voice clearly audible. "Oh god, you did drink as well, I can smell it."  Never in his life did he thought you'd end up as a person who would spend their nights like this since his memory had you as a well-behaved and joyful person in mind. On the other hand, he knew that a person could change a lot within three years but then again, you were the last person he had expected to end up like this.

"I'll manage, I'm used to this, just leave already, yeah?" Without responding to his question, you harshly freed yourself from his grip, the softness in your voice all gone. "Look, we're not friends anymore even if you're currently pretending to care but I don't want any of your concern if you're going to forget me again the next day, so kindly piss off!" While you let your emotions take over you, you already tried to stand up in order to leave by yourself but of course, your reaction speed was restricted due to your drug use earlier on so that Trent was able to get a grip of your wrist immediately and wasn't ready to let go of it soon.

"Don't be ridiculous. Something serious could happen in your current state and you shouldn't be alone right now. Let me help you. You can come home with me, you can sleep in my room." He proposed without further thought just to calm you down and win your trust.

Unfazed by his suggestion, you only frowned at him. "Trent, you live with your parents, they surely won't welcome me with open arms."

"They're already sleeping, we can sneak you in, no worries, yeah? I'm not going to let you stay in the cold, whether you like it or not."

His voice sounded so determined and certain, you realised that you had no other choice than to accept his suggestion. And even though you'd never admit it, you were slightly delighted not to spend your night in the streets of Liverpool like you had planned.

Eventually, you slowly nodded your head approvingly as a sign that you were coming with him which made Trent smile at you encouragingly. He then led you to his car and gave you the blanket lying in the backseat as the effect of the alcohol in your blood slowly faded away, making you feel the low temperatures for the first time.

The entire ride to his home was quiet, nothing else but a few subtle glances were exchanged as none of you knew about what topic to speak without coming off as small talk. And you felt more uncomfortable than ever, the broken friendship between you two had affected you more than you'd ever like to admit even though you had been convinced that you were over it but just feeling his touch on your skin and hearing his fond voice again was enough to remind you of all the pain you had felt by missing him since you had grown apart.

After arriving at Trent's home, a much bigger building than the one in your neighbourhood he had previously lived in, he put his finger to his mouth, signalling you to be quiet as he wasn't sure if anyone was still awake at this hour.

Ultimately, you sneaked the stairs up to his room, trying to make as little noise as possible until you suddenly missed the next step and slipped on the staircase, landing with your knees and hands on the cold material.

You winced at the slight pain caused by your fall and Trent immediately put his hand protectively on you, concerned that you had seriously hurt yourself until he saw you trying to control your burst of laughter.

"Reminds me of the time when we used to steal candy from the kitchen and tried to be as discreet as possible, eh?"

And you weren't sure if it were the drugs still affecting your behaviour or the fact that this all felt familiar, but it made you feel unexplainably giggly and also leaving a confused Trent there. But eventually, he cracked a grin as well, leading to him quickly grabbing your hand and rushing to his room as you could barely hold your laughs together and let it out onto one of his pillows.

After you managed to calm down, he showed you the bathroom including an additional toothbrush and lent you one of his old sweaters to change.

It all reminded you of easier times and after crawling in his bed, you definitely felt like you were kids again, only missing him lying next to you.

Instead, he stood beside his door, ready to leave but before making sure that you were okay.

"I'll go sleep downstairs, yeah? I'm just gonna say I was so tired, I passed out on the couch. I'll come back next morning and try to sneak you out."

"Can't you... stay? Like at least hold me until I fall asleep and protect me from all the monsters coming at night?" You chuckled shortly at your reference to nightmares you used to have when in reality, you were just trying to cover up the nervousness you felt by asking.

But then you saw his surprised expression which made you immediately conclude that it was a dumb idea of yours to ask.

"Sorry, forget that I asked I-"

"No no, it's fine." He immediately interrupted you. "I was just surprised because you didn't seem too fond of me before." Hesitantly, he made himself comfortable on the space beside you and cautiously put an arm around you.

You didn't dare to move as the sudden closeness between you two sparked all the different feelings you had felt before at once. On the one hand, you wanted to push him away and numb all the emotions you felt towards him as thinking of him had brought you so much pain and tears. On the other hand, you wanted the friend you had lost over the years of growing older back because no matter what you tried to make yourself believe, you knew that you'd always take him back.

"I only was so snappy to you because I wanted to pretend that I'm perfectly fine without you." You finally blurted out the truth after meeting his remark with silence. "Because seeing you doing even better without me destroyed me."

He didn't know what you meant with your last sentence but didn't dare to demand either. Instead, he pulled you even closer, signalling that he wasn't going anywhere soon. For this night at least. And this time you didn't flinch at his attempt to touch you on your arm.

"Honestly, I don't even remember how our friendship fell apart anyway."

Suddenly, you felt a lump in your throat, unable to answer anything without sounding bitter but in the end, you decided to speak it out anyway.

"Probably a mix of you moving away and becoming a regular for the first team and me finding new friends. Becoming an adult I guess."

Once again he noticed the bitter irony you were speaking with, this time he realised that he was definitely at least partly at fault of the break of your friendship.

"I'm not trying to find excuses or anything, but I admit that I could've texted you more at least, considering that you always asked me how I've been. But life got really busy after I signed my first professional contract, you know."

"I'm over it, I guess. I understand that you were busy. Though I agree with you, sometimes I would've loved to know how Liverpool's golden boy was doing."

"Don't call me like that" He chuckled softly at your last remark even though laughing seemed not appropriate at the moment. "Maybe I thought you were doing fine without me as well because you were posing with all of your new friends. Even though I don't trust them, were they those who introduced you to drugs?"

For the first time in this conversation, you moved from your position on your side so that you forced him to let go of you and face you instead of looking at the ceiling. 

"Well, they are the ones who cared or at least pretended to care unlike you who just stopped answering my texts and hanging out with me even though you only live like 10 minutes with the car away from me. Stop making any excuses, seriously, " You hissed at him, all the anger from before returning back to you.

"If they do, then they have a strange way to show it." Trent now contradicted you in the same harsh tone you did. "The only thing I know is that my friends would never leave me alone in the streets, high and drunk, simply because someone didn't text me back. Not my fault you turned to a drug junkie!"

The last sentence wasn't meant to be spoken out loud but for some reason, it accidentally slipped from Trent's mouth. And he immediately regretted it as soon as he saw your hurt mien and the silent tears running down your cheek before you wordlessly moved to the other side of the bed, not even thinking of paying him any more attention.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, god I'm awful." He tried to pull you towards him again but you stubbornly pushed his hands from your body while also trying to wipe your tears with the back of your hands from your eyes which didn't seem to stop even though you were thinking it was a dumb thing to do.

But the remark of him certainly impacted you deeply as there was definitely some truth in it even though you hated to admit it.

Nevertheless, Trent didn't give up and repeatedly caressed your hair and neck and told you how sorry and stupid he was, not stopping to apologise and tell you that he liked you the way you are.

At some point, you finally gave in and slowly turned back to him. Your eyes were still red from crying and the quiet sniffles signalled that you weren't ready to speak after all but at least you were showing that you were willing to forgive him.

Without thinking further, he pulled you as close as you allowed him to so he was able to hold your face with both of his hands and also to remove the rest of your tears with his thumb and repeatedly whispered how much of a dick he is for his remark.

"I never wanted this to happen, I mean the drugs." Suddenly, you spoke again after remaining silent for a while. "But they introduced me to them and for some reason, it felt comforting to feel nothing for the moment. And I know you're judging me hard for this but I just wanted to let you know that I still miss you whenever I think about you. Missing my best friend who stole candies in the kitchen with me or played football with me besides me being shit at it."

"I won't judge you for this, I promise. It's partly my fault that you got involved with this, I could've stopped you. I was a dick to you and I miss you too."

Silent apologises were exchanged until one of you stayed silent and instead caressed each other's back, neither of you wanted to leave the position you were in.

"Can I kiss you?" 

Your suggestion came out of nowhere, leaving Trent perplexed and confused.

"You have a boyfriend.", was the only thing Trent said to you.

"He dumped me last night."

“It’s still not right, you’re drunk and high, I don’t wanna make you regret this.”

“The effects are gone, I’m almost sober.”

And with these last words, you pressed your lips against his, not waiting for his permission to do so. It didn't matter anyway, as he seemed reassured after your last sentence cause he immediately kissed you back.

It felt better than any kiss you used to have with your so-called boyfriend, minutes of no words exchanged, just enjoying the repeated touch of each other's lips while holding each other closely and you putting your fingers through his hair.

And it didn't take long until your fingers sneaked under his shirt, finally feeling the naked skin of his back, your touch making him shiver as his mouth was wildly leaving marks on your neck, leaving you as a moaning mess.

But suddenly some sense came into his mind and the feeling of his tongue on your skin quickly disappeared, signalling you to stop as well and fastly your hands were removed from each other.

"Sorry, but we can't... when my parents are here." He said with an apologising glance before you could ask if you did something wrong which definitely wasn't the case.

You gave him a relieved look and laughed quietly as you nodded approvingly. "I understand, can you at least cuddle me to sleep?"

And you considered yourself as lucky as he threw his arms around your body while whispering sweet nothings in your ear, feeling the hot breath of him as you both fell asleep peacefully.

He woke up alone in his bed as there was no sign of you staying here. First, he couldn't deny that he was disappointed, thinking that it was only him who thought last night was special. But then he saw the small note with a spidery writing on his bedside table, having a slight chuckle as soon as he identified it.

Sorry for not saying bye but you looked so cute while sleeping. I climbed down through your window and sneaked out, so you couldn't get in trouble, luckily some things never change ;)

 "Trent?" The sudden voice of his mother in front of his door made him panic for a short time but then he relaxed immediately as he realised that you were long gone.

She entered his room after he allowed her to go in and asked him about yesterday.

"I heard you coming home, was everything alright? I thought I heard laughter or something. You didn't drink, didn't you?"

"Of course not!" He immediately reassured her. "Just got a video from the boys who were full and it was just so funny."

His mother didn't seem completely convinced but she accepted her son's answer as she already wanted to make her way out.

But suddenly her face remained petrified, focusing at a certain subject which didn't seem to fit in his room and immediately picking the thin material up, holding it in front of Trent.

"Where does that jacket come from?"