#me: it's rick's naptime everyone go away

[andy-clutterbuck]

LET HIM REST

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[beware-the-walkers]

Dear Baby Judith

Words: 2048 Season: 6 Rating: T

“Clary,” Rick says, and I look up at the sound of his voice. “You haven’t spoken to Daryl since he got back. Or Glenn. Go. It’s okay.” I shake my head, going back to gently brushing Carl’s hair out of his face. “Hey.” I look up again. “I’ll get you if there’s any change, okay?”

“You swear?” I ask.

“On my life,” he replies.

I lean down, pressing my lips to Carl’s forehead. “Please,” I whisper yet again. “Please, wake up.”

As usual, I get no answer. I sigh softly, walking out the door after hugging Rick goodbye. A lot of the new, extended team, the people from Alexandria, were still waiting outside the infirmary for any news. They all look to me as I exit, their voices silent but their gazes asking everything. “Nothing yet,” I tell them. “Anyone know where Daryl is?”

“Your house,” Eric tells me. “You want me to walk with you?”

“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “I think I want to be alone for a little, ya know? The rest of you, just go home.”

Aaron puts out a hand to stop me as I start off, pulling me into a hug. “I don't know if anyone's thanked you yet, but you saved the town.”

“I couldn't have done it without y’all fightin’,” I tell him. “I just listened to Heath over there. Ain't nobody was takin’ our town, dead or alive.”

Eric wraps his arms around the two of us, and one by one, the rest of our family joins in to make one giant group hug. I'm squished in the center of it all, and I don't like being in the center. I say, “Uh, guys, can't really breathe, so if you don't let go, I'm gonna start stabbin’.”

Chuckles go through the group, but they let me go. “Promise you’ll tell us if there's any change,” Carol requests.

“As soon as I know, you will,” I promise. “Go home, everyone. Get some rest. We could all use some after the fucking week we had.”

Without waiting to see if they disband, I walk off, running for my house as soon as I’m out of sight. When I enter, Daryl and Michonne are the only two in the house, not including Judith. Daryl, as usual, is watching out the window. Michonne holds Judith, trying to get her to sleep so Michonne can leave. “Clary,” Michonne says, turning to me as soon as I enter. “Can you get her to sleep? I want to go check on Rick and Carl. Judith won’t go to sleep for me now.”

It takes me a second to process what she’s saying. “Uh, yeah, sure,” I say, taking Judith. “Um, I, uh.” I stop talking, unable to form a full sentence as my mind drifts to Carl back at the infirmary. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“I get it,” Michonne says. “It’s fine. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

I nod, and Michonne kisses my forehead. She’s out the door within thirty seconds, taking off down the street. I shift Judith, putting her on my hip, as I make my way over to Daryl. I nudge his arm with my shoulder, getting his attention. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” he greets. Daryl wraps an arm around my shoulders, resting his hand on Judith. He pulls me against him, kissing my temple, just above the scar from when we fell down the ravine. ‘You okay?”

“Gotta be, right?” I ask, avoiding an actual answer. “I’m just glad you’re back. Where’s your bow? And your bike?”

“That’s a story for another day,” he tells me, turning away from the window. “For now, I gotta take a nap. I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”

“Daryl, you’re, like, thirty.”

“It’s too old.” I give him a small smile, and he smiles in reply to mine. He wraps his other arm around me, hugging me close, careful to not squish Judith. “I’ll be right here, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere. You need anything, you know where I am.”

“Of course,” I reply, “Now, go get some sleep.” Daryl disappears into his room, and I look down at Judith. “It’s just you and me, huh? Yeah.” Judith lets out a yawn, but she forces herself to stay awake. “I think it’s your naptime, Lil Ass-Kicker.”

Judith babbles something that sounds like “Carl” before she yawns, and I know it won’t take much to get her to fall asleep. I frown at her asking for her brother, because who’s going to make her understand that her big brother isn’t here anymore if he doesn’t survive? She’s so young, and she doesn’t even know what all she’s lost. She doesn’t know of the world that came before this one. She doesn’t know that there was a time when we didn’t face the dangers we face now. As I rock her, I softly sing whatever’s on my mind.

“Dear baby Judith, how to say to you Sometime last night, your brother faced a foe And I thought it was all for show I don't know if he'll survive He might not even be alive Your father's son may be... gone”

I let out a sob at the last line, one I didn’t realize I was holding back. I pull myself together, continuing with the impromptu lullaby.

“He dedicated every day to you He changed my life, he made my life worthwhile And if you'll smile Our beloved Carl will live on Give me strength to carry on

You will come of age with our new nation I've bled and fought for you Sometimes it seems that's all I do Your dad and I will build a strong foundation But I might not be here for you Do a favor for me, make sure they see When you blow 'em all away

Some day, one day You’ll blow 'em all away Someday, one day”

“I hope I live to see that day,” I whisper, kissing the top of her head as she slumps against me, asleep. I put Judith down in her playpen in the living room, turning with a jump when a voice behind me says, “It feels like forever since I’ve heard you sing.”

“Oh, my god,” I say between breaths, trying to calm down as I realize it’s just Glenn. “You scared the hell outta me.”

“My bad,” he says as he takes a few steps into the living room. “I don’t know if I’ve told you, but you have a beautiful voice.” I mumble a thanks. “You okay?”

This time, I don’t lie. I shake my head, whispering, “No.”

“C’mere,” Glenn says, holding out an arm. I rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes as he wraps his arms around me. “It’ll be okay. I know it will be. It has to be. Carl’ll make it through. He’s strong.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will. But you’re strong, too. You’ll be okay. We’re all going to be okay, Clary. We deserve it, don't we? After all we’ve been through?”

“Is this my punishment?” I question. “For all the shit I’ve done?”

“No,” Glenn says, shaking his head. “No. So stop talking like that. You’ve done what you needed to do to survive. You always have.” Glenn takes a seat on the couch, pulling me down with him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

We’re quiet for a few minutes, and I find myself curled up beside Glenn, nearly sitting in his lap. “Do you ever think about it?” I ask.

“Think about what?” Glenn inquires.

“An alternate life. One where we’re happy? Safe? Where we’re having Sunday dinner instead of Sunday walker killing? And maybe some of the others are alive. Maybe Shane and Lori are there, together. I almost hate to say it, but I saw it. And Carl told me about before. Those two were happier together than Rick and Lori were.”

“Do you still think about Shane?” Glenn asks.

“He taught me a lot,” I admit. “He taught me how to stay alive. I mean, I already knew how to stay alive. I wouldn’t have made it Macon if I hadn’t. But Shane, he taught me more. He made me realize that the world’s not what it was anymore. It’s something new, and the old laws, the old morals, don’t apply. Shane taught me how to keep breathing in a world where everything wanted to take that away. I just... I wish he hadn’t gone crazy.”

“Does it make you wonder if teaching you to stay alive was the only thing Shane taught you?”

“What the hell are you implying?”

“Hey, I’m just asking. I don’t mean anything by it. I think you’re more like Shane than we’ve all realized. I mean, I’ve seen it come out in you more than once. Like last night, your blind rage? I’m pretty sure Shane did the same, at least once. Do you wonder if you’re going to end up like him?”

“No,” I answer, shaking my head. “I try not to think too much about my end. Where I’m going to end up, how my life will end. I just try not to think about it all. But I’ve imagined death so much it feels more like a memory, even if I try not to. It’s hard, considering if you don’t die right, you end up one of those sorry fucks on the other side of the wall. How about you? You think about an afterlife?”

“I don’t know,” Glenn admits. “I never believed in a God, so I never believed in a Heaven or Hell. You?”

“Atheists United. The saga continues.”

Glenn lets out a halfhearted chuckle. “Now, I think there has to be a place. At least, somewhere we can all be together.”

“I like to think Lori’s watching over Sophia. Hershel’s watching over them all. And the Governor’s burning in whatever passes for a Hell anymore. I don’t know how it could be much worse, considering we’re already living in it.”

“Do you… do you remember that night at the quarry?” Glenn questions. “The night I ran around the camp, looking for you?” I nod. “I still have that dream. You being eaten by them. Back at the prison, when we thought you died… I thought it came true. I thought you died screaming for help with no one to hear you, torn apart by those things.”

“You don’t even want to know the nightmares I have,” I tell him. “Carl, he always woke me up before they got too bad. You know, when I’d sleep next to Daryl, I’d almost never have any.”

“How long has it been since you slept? More than four hours worth?”

“Uh, I haven’t grabbed more than an hour, if that, since… When did Aiden die?”

“A week ago! Christ, Clary!” Glenn cries. “Alright, that’s it. Go to sleep.”

“I have to be there for Carl!” I plead.

“I’ll go, and I’ll stay,” Glenn says. “I’ll come get you as soon as Carl wakes up.”

“You don’t get it,” I say softly. “That’s not why I have to be there. Rick isn’t strong enough. You said it yourself, I’m strong. I can, if I have to.”

The color drains from his face as he realizes the meaning behind my words. “Clary…”

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I say, getting to my feet. “I can’t leave him for long.”

“I’ll walk you,” Glenn offers, pushing himself off the couch. “But what about Judith?” “She’s asleep. If she wakes up, Daryl’s here.”

“Is he? Where?”

“His room, taking a nap. Old goat.”

Glenn chuckles, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk back to the infirmary. I glance up at Glenn as we walk. “Why’d you come with me?” I ask.

“You needed someone there for you,” he replies. “That’s always been my job. Being there when you need someone.”

I lean into him, whispering, “Thank you.”

It’s then that I know the most defining difference between Glenn and I. We both have different jobs. I’m the guardian and he’s the safety net. Glenn’s there for people when they need someone the most, while I do my duty and protect.