#me: hmm should i write open starters. i don't even know what to write. me: hmmm what about rope bondage.
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𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫.
"Shibari can be problematic if not well-researched." he says while inspecting the hanging contraption for safety. A crash test dummy was horizontally suspended from it, expertly wrapped in specialized bondage ropes. "The most common injuries normally occur on the humeral radial nerves. To decrease any chance of acute damage, you want to principally memorize where the deltoid tuberosity is and avoid it."
#.open starter#verse. main#.ic#me: hmm should i write open starters. i don't even know what to write. me: hmmm what about rope bondage.#also trying out present tense to gain practice
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Quarantine Online
A/N: sorry I have been MIA for months now. A lot has going on in my life and Depression sucks, making it hard to write, so forgive me.
Tom Hiddleston x Reader
Warnings: Just fluff
Summery: dating is hard it's even harder when a Pandemic happens.. 
The picture you stared at only showed a well-toned lean body in a well-tailored suit. Most of the photographs showed the same, never his face. His name was Tom 39 years old, living in London. Though he dose travels a lot for work. Shakespeare fanatic, runner, enjoys cooking, long walks with his dog when he's not running and lots and lots of dancing. Six foot one, six foot two on a good day. Who was testing the waters out there, but will be the perfect gentleman and very respectful.
His profile stated as you looked through it. He had messaged you right as you thought about giving up once again. Everyone on these dating apps only wanted one of two things. Nudes or sex nothing more. No connection, no relationship, not even a friendship. Sure, you were offered friends with benefits.
That was something you were not looking for. Did it not state in your profile that you weren't going to do any of that. Do men even read?
The few dates you have gone on all ended up a bust. Then the quarantine happened right as you were getting yourself out there. So it was conversations via text. But soon you were ghosted far too many times because you wouldn't send nude.
You were all about to shut down your account when this man named Thomas H. sent you a message. You weren't even sure why you click on the email from this man without a face. Here you were reading what he had to say.
Y/n,
My name is Thomas, but naturally, I go by Tom. I'm sure you might not even respond to this as there is no face to this profile. With my job and for my privacy would be one of many reasons why. But I thought I might give it a shot. And I have to say I'm quite mesmerized by your beauty. You are quite lovely, and I'm sure you get that a lot. But I genuinely mean it. I was a bit fascinated by your profile as I read it, might have had chucked at a few bits of it. I would like to know more about you.
Like what type of nerd are you? Marvel or DC?
Star Wars or Star Trek? And of course, I'll answer any questions you might have for me. As well I would not ask for any pictures of you clothed or nude as I would like to get to know you as I'm hoping you wouldn't mind getting to know me without the nudes as you put it. Ehehe.
I genuinely hope to hear from you. But understand if I don't.
Sincerely, Tom.
Ps, I do hope this quarantine hasn't made you gone completely bonkers.
Usually, you wouldn't have responded, but something about him told you not to pass this up. What was the worst that could happen that already hasn't happened on an online dating app? Well, there was always the fact he could be a serial killer.
Hello Tom,
You may have messaged me in time I was about to give up on this site and return to my habit. Marvel all the way. I would hope you would agree or we can't continue talking. Though, I can't deny that DC needs to just stop with Batman movies. The should have stopped before George Clooney. Though I will give Christian Bale props, he did a better job than Clooney.
As for Star Wars and Star Trek? That is a tough one, so I'm just going to say both are good. But let's face it. Captain Kirk is the better star fleet Captain. Sure Picard is excellent as well. But anyone after them just doesn't do it for me. Ha ha..
And it's all about Baby Yoda. If you are not a baby Yoda fan, you're just wrong. Yes, I'm one of "those" girls.
Coffee or Energy drinks? I would say I dabbled in both. Pancakes or waffles? Yes, there is a difference. I'm a waffle girl myself. Well, that is all I can think of right now.
Y/n.
You hit send before setting your phone down on the table next to you as you yawned. Maybe it was an early bedtime, not like you had anything better to do. You puddled around your usual routine before bed. A loud ding brought you back to your phone.
"That was quick." Recognizing the chim of the app all too well. Grebing your phone, forgetting your face cream as you were curious about what he had to say—settling into bed, getting comfortable before you opened your phone.
Y/n,
I'm delighted to hear from you. If I'm quite bold, and for starters, its tea for me. With two sugars and a splash of cream. As for waffles or pancakes, I'm French toast kind of man, duh. Lol. Though you can't beat a good old fashion English Breakfast and a side of Earl gray. Eheh.
I'm quite a fan of marvel though it is a rather vast universe. What movies/comics praytell do you prefer?
Sorry love to disappoint, but I'm going to say Doctor Who I am British. The tenth and the eleventh doctor. I do hope you've seen the show. I used to watch the reruns of the original with my father when I was a young wide eye lad. I am a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek. And there is nothing wrong with liking a baby Yoda. He is exceedingly loveable.
It says your new to England, where are you from originally? How long have you've been here? Seen any of the sights England has to offer?
That's all for now.
Sincerely, Tom.
Emails went on for weeks talking back and forth first on the dating app than via text. You were the one to leap by giving him your number. After hitting send your phone vibrated with a text.
Unknown number: Hello love, this is Tom. I'm delighted to receive your text.
More weeks had passed. Still, you had yet to see his face though he did send you photos of random things during the day. You did the same as your toes sticking out from the bubble bath. Then you got a text of his toes sticking out from under the blankets. The two of you would watch a movie together. The quarantine was still in effect. Each of you would pick a film out every other weekend and sit back and watch it—text throughout the movie.
Y/n: Omg did she just run up the stairs like a dumb big boobed bimbo!!! She makes the rest of us look bad.
Tom: Eheh, you said it darling, not me. Though I think she might survive this.
Y/n: Wanna make a beat? I think she will die within the next few minutes.
Tom: Oh, it's on. Now, what do I get if I win?
Y/n: Whatever it is you want cause mister you are going to lose.
You both patiently wanted to see what happens next. The movie ended, and you waited in annoyance for Tom to respond to gloat about being right. And to see what he desired for his spoils of war.
Tom: Well, Love, it looks like I have won this round.
Y/n: It seems you have butthead. What is it that the winner wishes for?
Tom: Did you just call me a butthead? Eheh. Hmm, let's see. How about a Skype date? I figured it was about time to reveal myself.
Y/n: Tom, I just meet you. I'm not sure I'm ready to see your eggplant. Haha.
Tom: I probably should have rephrased that better. My face love, my face. Eheh. Tomorrow at 7 pm?
Nervous was an understatement. You had cleaned your whole flat even if you were going to stay on the couch, laptop resting on a large pillow setting on your coffee table. You sat playing with your hair, unsure if you wanted it up or down. A chim from your computer startled you from straightening out your dress you finally had settled on. Soon a well-tailored suited chest came on screen.
"Hold on, darling, trying to adjust this blood screen." The deep British, very attractive yet somehow familiar voice rang through the computer speakers. You only assumed it belongs to Tom.
You watched the man attempting to fiddle with the view, cursing ever so quietly. Making you giggle relaxing a little bit more. Your laughing came to an abrupt halt when Tom's face came into Focus. Your jaw dropped. And now the unmistakable "ehehe" came in to play as you stared at none other the most eligible bachelor in England none other than loki himself Tom Hiddleston.
"Darling, I think your drooling." Tom teased point to the side of his clean, shaved face. Tom fidgeted with his now raven-colored hair.
"Oh, I-I," You stammered out, trying to compose yourself.
"Didn't see this coming did you?" Tom smiled, wetting his lips with that blasted tongue of his.
"Well, no. I wasn't expecting Tom
Hiddleston."
"Is that a bad thing?" Tom spoke up.
"Oh, no, no. I would be an idiot to say it was. Hey, wait a minute. I've told you that, that, that. Shit." You muttered.
"That I was your hall pass if given a chance. Eheh. Well, it looks like you'll have had wasted your hall pass privileges. You only get one and can't use it on someone if you are already seeing them."
"You know, sir, you are still a butthead." You stuck out your tongue at the man.
"You do like calling me that. Why are you calling me a butthead this time?" Tom grinned.
Your time with Tom was extraordinary, the two of you talked throughout most of the night. He told you things you never knew about the actor every woman pined over. Here you were, the one woman out of a billion he seems to fancy.
"Well, love." Tom cooed as he watched you try not to nod off to sleep. "I should let you sleep."
"I'm sorry." You muttered sleepily.
"Do not apologize, my dear. I should be the one to apologize I've kept you up most of the night.” Tom smiled softly. He watched as you rub your eyes, a shy smile softly graced your lips. Making Tom’s heart flutter.
”Perhaps, my dear, would you like to meet for coffee at the cafe that opened back up?” Tom hummed in high hopes.
”Hmm, I don't know.” You smiled, trying hard to look like you were contemplating though you were going to say yes. To hell with this virus, it was Tom Hiddleston asking you to coffee.
”I mean, I'll wear a mask and stay six feet if needed.” Tom added quickly.
”No, no, there is no need for that. I don't mind unless you feel like it's needed.” You pipped up—Tom grind like a fool shaking his head no.
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x you#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston one shot#fluff#quarantine online
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First Christmas with Dr. Cox
It's crazy how many different ways there are to celebrate a holiday. Some people bake, some people pray, Some long candles or travel. And other don't do anything.
"Hey I figured for Christmas since we're both off we could go somewhere nice. "
"Oh I'm sorry I asked to be put on the schedule for Christmas.."
"Oh really that's great." Perry forced a smile.
"Yeah I mean it's just another day really…"
"Dr. Y/n can I borrow you for a moment." Laverne asks. "Yeah sure. See you later." You kissed Dr. Cox's cheek."
"What's going on in that Dr. Cox head of yours." Carla asked.
"Nothing I just thought she would want to spend Christmas decorating like girls do and it's rare that we ever get off for a holiday but she's - she's just not in a jolly spirit.
"Well it shouldn't bother you because some people just don't make a big deal about Christmas."
"Hmm."
"Or just ask her maybe she didn't think you would want to do anything. You know you're not usually jolly anyway."
"Yeah yeah."
~~
You and Dr. Cox were sitting in the cafeteria eating your lunch. "Hey are you sure you don't want to go anywhere for Christmas? It could just be the two of us."
"No it's okay. Doing things for Christmas is not that huge to me but, you could go or do something yourself I bet you'll enjoy the alone time." Your pager went off.
"Ugh got to go. see you later." After you walked away Dr. cox turned around to face Jd's table.
"Newbie I got a job for you."
"What is it?"
" Find out why y/n doesn't like Christmas."
"What makes you think she doesn't?"
"Well for starters she just said that it's not that huge to her and she hasn't even decorated anywhere which is greeaaaat cause I don't need my house to look like someone threw up Christmas. Then we both had Christmas off until she asked to be put on the schedule. Now Clarissa, does that sound like someone who likes Christmas?"
"well those are definitely signs of not liking it."
"Exactly so I'm trusting you to smoothly ask her why she doesn't like Christmas. Maybe start at the what are you doing for Christmas."
"I got it. I can totally be smooth. Smooth like butter. Or ice. Or a baby's bum."
"Oooh my God you're going to mess this up." Dr. Cox said walking away.
~~~~ At the front desk
Dr. Cox was in a patient's room listening : "Oh... hey y/n." Jd said walking up to you. "Um hey jd. What's up"
"Nothing much. Just wondering if you wanted to come and light the tree at my place with Turk and Carla."
"I can't I work all week. Except midnight and really early in the morning, and I don't think you're going to be lighting it then."
"Okay no big deal. maybe another time."
"Yeah maybe. Thanks for the offer though."
"No problem. Are you doing anything at all for Christmas? Christmas shopping?"
"No not this year. What about you?"
"Not much really, just cooking and working. Why don't you like Christmas?"
"What makes you think I don't like Christmas?" You snapped.
he stuttered "I just-- you said.."
"Look let's just drop it and forget about it."
"Oh okay." He says kinda hurt. You quickly walked away.
"Nice going there newbie."
"Hey I at least tried and.... was smooth."
"Hmmm" Dr. Cox groaned.
"Why don't you just ask her yourself?"
"Because she doesn't wanna tell me either."
"Maybe it's nothing then."
"You really don't think before you speak do you? It wouldn't bother her if it was nothing." Perry walked away.
Somethings are better left unknown. Because when you keep prying it can get a person angry or better yet mess up a nice moment
CHRISTMAS EVE-
You & doctor cox went out to a small restaurant for dinner. It was cute and you guys haven't went out on a date for a while.
"Oh my gosh remember our first date." You guys were laughing. "The whole place had no chairs!"
"Yeah I actually think the waitress was more nervous than you, she almost spilled my whole drink." he said. "But it was the best date ever and I'm so happy I went ahead and did ask you out."
''me too. I was scared I thought you wouldn't like me anymore."
"I liked you even more." He grabbed your hands to hold.
On the TV -
And there may be a chance for some snow on Christmas day…. Stay tuned…
"that would be great if there was snow on Christmas."
"Yeah. Been a while." You said shortly.
"For sure… hey I was thinking of maybe getting a tree for my apartment."
"Ooo that'll look so nice."
"Do you want to help me pick one out?."
You stopped chewing for a second shocked, But continued: "um can we talk about this later?"
"Sure. But why do you always dodge the question?"
"Really? Unbelievable. I just don't get why you can't leave it alone." You stood up and grabbed your coat.
"Y/n! Wait!" But you were already out the door.
Moment ruined
~~~
CHRISTMAS DAY
You woke up, got ready and were almost out the door when you heard: "Hey I'm sorry about last night."
"It's okay. See you tonight. Love you"
"Love you too."
You learn that in a relationship you have to make sacrifices;
"Okay mrs. Foley you are ready for your surgery. Good luck and I'll See you when you get back."
"Thank you miss y/l/n." You smiled.
You walked out and started writing on her chart. "Did she just go into surgery?" You knew that voice anywhere.
"Perry? What are you doing here?"
Even if that means giving up your day off
"I shouldn't have kept pushing Christmas on you. I don't need to know why you don't like it or celebrate it. As long as I'm with you then I don't care."
"You're right though. I should have told you. It's just-- getting older it doesn't seem as special and then when my mom..-"
"You don't have to-"
"No I want to. When she died I just couldn't celebrate it, and I can never get in the spirit, it feels too lonely without her."
��"I'm Sorry." He gave you a hug. "It's okay."
He handed you a small box. "I know we're not doing presents but here."
"You really shouldn't have."
"I wanted to." You opened the box and it was a key. "You don't have to move in right away but now you can come whenever you want… and you don't have to be alone."
"This is so sweet. Thank you." You reached up on your tippy toes and kissed him passionately. You pulled back and whispered: "I'm not alone anymore. Hey what do you say we finish this in the on call room and you can unwrap me like a present?"
"Oh yeah. I'm down for that let's go." Down the hallway you went into the on call room.
#janitor on scrubs#scrubs nbc#scrubs abc#scrubs season 7#scrubs#christa miller#chris turk#Christopher Turk#john c mcginley#John Michael Dorian#jd x reader#turk and jd#john dorian#zach braff#donald faison#sarah chalke#bill lawrence#carla espinoza#elliot reid#judy reyes#neil flynn#ken jenkins#dr. cox#dr. cox x reader#perry cox#percival cox#perry cox x reader#jd x Elliot#sacred heart#rowdy
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Hmm.. I don't why I even bother with my mutuals. I'm the only one who engages with them. Yet, when I send a simple cool starter meme to a mutual they don't reply to mine, but other people. This has been happening for several months, it's a small rpc, but the fandom is large. Whenever I reblog a meme I don't ever expect anyone to send me anything that's their choice, but its quite dishearting when my mutuals doesn't send any. Only one or two do sometimes five, while I'm nice enough to send it in their askbox. Sometimes I wonder if its because I don't post my fanart on my blog or I write a popular character; some rpers have a negative stigma against.. which is unfair and wrong.. Its so depressing. I don't know why I'm sad I'm in my 30s I should not be feeling this way. Or perhaps I'm being taken advantage of due to how genuine and considerate I am.. its like they sit back and do nothing while I do the work. God I hope not. I'm very chill and respect my mutuals. It just seems as though I'm being lead on and I'm afraid to express how I feel.
I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, Anon, I don't know if anything I have to say will help, but maybe it'll at least be helpful that you've gotten to express it somewhere! I'm definitely going to try, though.
Unfortunately, all of this is way too common. You're not at all alone in feeling this way, any of it! I think we've all had the experience of what amounts to being in one-sided RP, if we haven't, it's because we haven't yet. You'd think that being in a smaller area of the RPC that it would make this less likely to happen, but I think it can be worse sometimes in this situation because people in smaller circles have a tendency to become insular in a way that can be really bad.
It isn't usually intentional, you just become very comfortable with this smaller number of people and your relationships with them, everyone ends up with a sort of role within it. We establish in our minds that muns a, b, and c are our go-to writing partners, b and c are those we always send to or answer memes from, a we always interact with extra OOC, and so on. When you're muse d, your efforts go nowhere, you're not the mutual for any of it in their minds.
There probably is something making this easier, though, and you might very well be right about you being genuine and considerate being a factor. As much as that is the way to be, it can act against you as well if you're being viewed not as just a nice, considerate mun, but as someone who just exists to quietly support others. People could be viewing you as so relaxed and without demand that it doesn't matter to you much, or that even if it does, you're not a priority compared to the mutuals they might be concerned about dropping them if they don't give enough attention to them.
To that end, there is honestly not much you can do. Anything you say on the dash is likely to come across as suddenly too demanding or guilting, and coming to them individually to ask if there is something you could be doing for more interactions might not be seen as a genuinely no-pressure question. I'd recommend, if there are any changes you end up enacting in order to help combat all of this, that you post a very pleasant message saying, essentially, "I've made some updates and I'm looking to do some new threads, if anyone is interested, here is my meme tag! If you'd like me to send you a meme, comment what your meme tag is so I can."
That way, you're making them aware that you have changed some things (you can even post about those specific changes so they can all see if those are things that they felt were holding them back from interacting), directly stating you want/are seeking new interactions with them, and giving them two options to start that up quickly. Nothing guilt-trippy about it, just informative and direct, but polite still.
Now, about those possible changes, because there might be some other factors compounding this situation.
Do your current mutuals seem to be just meme based? I mean, do they primarily interact only through memes, or do they prefer to do some plotting first? It could be that they don't feel like responding to the starter meme coming from you is going to turn into a lasting thread if they require some plotting. It's possible that they started out just doing memes, but as time has gone, they've changed...and not mentioned it.
For example, I do require plotting or established interactions between mun and muse alike before I'll do a starter-style meme with someone. That's because I want it to be a longer-lasting thread, and I don't have to do plotting with these muns to make that happen. I also put that in the tags on the incredibly rare occasion I reblog one because that's the polite thing to do, but they may feel afraid that they'll be accused of favoritism or elitism if they do that. I'm not saying that's right, it's not, it's unfair and kind of mean to ignore people for their failure to do something you require that you're not telling them about, but it could be part of what is happening.
If they have open starters, do starter calls, that they're also not responding to (or have things in their rules about plotting) that could be a big part of this issue. They'd rather you react to the open starters, or contact them about writing a starter, and/or contact them for plotting.
There is also the possibility that the memes you're sending do not seem, to them, like situations that are either going to work out or that are appealing from your muse. Obviously, you thought so, or you wouldn't have sent it! It's always hard to tell what someone else thinks, however.
The memes you're sending could be too vague, or conversely, too specific for a situation they don't see with your muse/don't want with your muse. If they're very simple sentence starters, that could be hard to respond to with a muse they don't have established interactions with. If they're too specific, they could feel it's implying a relationship with your muse that theirs doesn't have.
It's a difficult balance and a lot of guessing, but try to send something in the middle of the two. Something that doesn't imply the muses know each other, but also gives something interesting to go off of easily.
Could also be the number of memes you're sending. Everyone wants to get memes, we're all upset when we post a meme and get absolutely nothing! But one person sending us many memes can feel overwhelming or even demanding. I know you're not trying to come off that way, and I cannot say that it is being perceived as such, but this is a possibility and I am trying to cover as many of them as I can in case one works out so you can enjoy yourself in RP again!
If you think this may be the case, try holding off on sending them. Give yourself a set number...something very small at first like one to each mutual a month only when it comes to starter-style memes specifically. That's going to be lame, and I'm sorry! You clearly don't have the interactions you want and it's upsetting enough to you as it is, but if running this experiment means figuring out something that allows you to have them, it'll be worth it, right?
As for the memes you do receive from others, what kind are you getting? Are they sentence/starters, or ones you can answer OOC? Variety of both? Are they the most basic, non-committal sentence on the meme, or interesting, engaging ones? This could be an important clue as to what your mutuals want/where they hold the possibility of your interaction and why. It could also be adding to their perceptions.
I feel like I should say again, as I've no desire to add to how bad you're feeling, that I mean none of this in either an assured way or a judgmental one. I'm just covering all bases of possibility, and even if any of these things are the case, you're not being a bad RP partner, you just might be the wrong one for some of your current mutuals.
If you are primarily getting OOC or non-committal sort of sentence starters, they could be trying to send you memes to be nice, but not have an interest in writing with you. They could be trying to see more of your muse before making that commitment, too. It could be that they're seeking some more development on the muse from you, or more development of a verse they think their muse would work out best with yours in.
So, if you're getting questions that are giving you an opportunity to talk about your muse, develop them, show everyone how you write them, be sure you're taking that opportunity. Try not to reply to those with really short, obvious answers/responses. If it seems there is no way to answer without being obvious, think on ways you can give new information involved with the obvious answer.
If you are getting sentence/starter memes, make your reply as personally interesting to that mun as possible. Go through their wishlist tag if they have one and write your response based on one of them. If they haven't any plots they've expressed a desire to do, you can still get a good idea of what they find particularly appealing by both the threads they already have and the sort of things they reblog. It could just be that, in the past, what you've given in return wasn't something they felt drawn to enough.
Since you said in the second message you sent that this was a relatively recent thing, they used to interact with you, I'm really wondering if they've lost interest in your muse for another fandom favorite, or there is a similar issue going on. Because that certainly implies that something changed for them that did not change for you.
Has there been a significant change in fandom? An old favorite character returned, there is a new one the whole fandom is about, or yours did something in canon that the fandom didn't like? It's always the risk of playing a canon...even one that is canonically dead can end up having something in their story added to that drastically changes the fandom's opinion, so it's a possibility.
In any event, on the other points, big fandom favorite-of-the-moment canons always, I mean that, knock everyone else out. jusAnd it doesn't even have to be in your fandom, either! It can be in a popular enough fandom that your mutuals accept crossovers from, and can feel really shocking when you have a situation like...they all left that major fandom due to burnout with it or drama, but were still attached to it enough to accept crossovers, and suddenly, new media, especially with an old favorite, appears - you are categorically ignored for another fandom's MC lol Neat feeling!
So, it could have nothing at all to do with you. You're just not the hyperfixation right now.
There are some changes that could have happen that might be more involved with you. I don't want to say "have to do with you," because that implies fault and it's not a fault situation when people change and want different things than what they one enjoyed with you. It's possible that some of your mutuals have grown into lengthier writing, different plot genres (they were about hurt/comfort, now they're about fluff), are more/less into shipping than they were, things like that.
I feel I should clarify again that this isn't judgment! It's unfortunately stigmatized to call this "growing into/progressing/etc." when that's just the best way to put it. It implies that you lack growth, you're stuck somewhere, you need to progress. That's not what I'm implying, or that there's anything wrong with continuing to enjoy a hobby the same way you always have...just as there's nothing wrong with expanding on it.
This could be part of the situation. Especially if your mutuals are at one of those awful age ranges where people experience rapid changes in how they enjoy things. What is a great time when you're RPing in your late teens is really different from what you enjoy in your early twenties is really different from what you enjoy in your mid to late twenties is different from what you enjoy in your early thirties is...you get the point. (Though, I will say, for all y'all ageist folks out there: you need to both stop shitting on teens/early twenties people for writing at a lower level than you in your late twenties and stop acting like anyone over thirty is a pedo, unapproachable, and into their forties and beyond are just incomprehensible as writers. Writing is a skill, you improve by doing it, and there is no magical age at which one turns into a pedo and has to give up their interests.) It's really possible that many of them have moved into different aspects of RP than you have.
If that seems to be the case, you have a couple of options. Pay attention to what they are writing, see if that's something you would enjoy working on doing as well. If so, start working on it by increasing your writing skills with any threads you do have or memes you do get, practice is the best way. If you have literally nothing to practice with, you'll have to practice on your own by taking a meme line you would have loved to get, using it as a writing prompt, and writing out what comes to you, just as you would in a meme someone sent you.
Okay, so what if you aren't interested in doing what they are? That's fine! Instead, you may want to look into attracting new mutuals that are more into what you are.
Honestly? If you feel like you are questioning why you even bother with these people already...that's my honest opinion of what you should consider doing regardless. Find new mutuals.
We all know there's a bit of a promo issue, they don't bring in new partners the way they once did, but it's still a good idea to have one floating around. Promo yourself on any relevant lists of active RPers out there you can find. If it's something you'll be alright with, be sure you're crossover and OC friendly to attract the maximum amount of muns and advertise in the maximum number of lists (though, if you say you have a verse in a fandom, do actually make that verse). Verses are a great way to give your potential mutuals the possibility to interact with your muse, consider adding ones from any major fandoms you enjoy and the usual favorites like a "modern" verse.
Other things you can do/should check if you're going to try attracting new mutuals would be having some writing on your blog for them to see and being certain your rules, muse bio, etc. are all up to date and finished out.
With the writing, I realize the situation you have going on is not great for showing potential mutuals your writing! Whatever current things you have, be as active with them as possible, and consider doing some headcanons or one shots. That way there is something that shows you're active, a bit about what interacting with you and your muse is like, and what you're capable of writing.
And with the other things, they're all really important information for mutuals to have, especially new ones who haven't been there with you this whole time. Your old mutuals may know, for example, what putting in your rules "just don't be a dick" means to you, specifically, but new mutuals do not. So, give your rules a once-over to be sure they're clear on what you do/do not want, how you approach RP, etc. Make sure all the common things are covered, but things unique to yourself as well.
If you haven't finished your muse bio, or you feel there are new things for you to add to it now, it's the best time to do so! Since you have a canon, I have to say it - don't just link to a wiki. Take this time you've been unfortunately gifted by inactivity to write up your own take on this muse - your portrayal is different than anyone else's, show your new mutuals how.
If you haven't a page for verses yet, or that page/post is really brief and has things like, "this is a modern verse, it takes place in our world" now is also the time to either make it or improve this. Really tell them what is different about your muse in each verse, what's interesting about this verse, where they fit into the canon of whatever fandom. Treat these verses as foundations for what you'll build with your mutuals, not hard stories that have to be followed, and be sure you're clear about that on the page/post! It'll help more people engage with your muse when they don't feel like you have an immutable story already without them.
Consider adding a navigation page/post if you do not already have one. A pinned post can work for this! That way you can link by your tags as well, so new people checking out your blog can quickly see your memes, headcanons, aesthetic posts, everything. And if you haven't been tagging those things? Start doing it for this purpose! Give people a way to quickly and passively check out as much as possible on your muse before they choose to interact, it'll help them make that choice.
As a last thing...I have to ask, have you asked any of your present mutuals why you're not interacting anymore?
I understand if you haven't, especially if you hadn't developed a good rapport with them yet. They could take that as guilting or pressuring and get annoyed with you, so I get the anxiety and reluctance. People also have an unintentionally horrible way of lying, too. Their intentions are good, they just don't want to make anyone feel bad or start an argument, but the outcome isn't nice. Yeah, people do totally ask these things expressly to be lied to and validated, or even to start an argument, but we shouldn't be treating everyone like that's what they're doing. We should assume that when people ask for help understanding a problem that they want the help. Community problem we all need to work on!
But anyway, if you feel like any of them are going to be honest and polite with you, and you haven't done so already, try asking them what is going on. No one knows better than they do why they're not engaging with you anymore, after all. Even if this isn't a situation that is going to improve with these mutuals, it's good to know for the future.
To avoid sounding like you're pressuring/shaming/guilting them, choose your words and phrasing carefully. Instead of, "I noticed you don't respond to the memes I send you, but do respond to memes from other mutuals," try, "I noticed we don't interact much anymore, it's fine if you're just in a different place now, but if there is something I can be doing differently, it would help me a lot to know, if you're alright with discussing that with me."
I'm not trying to imply you don't know how to converse with people, Anon lol I just know that it can be a difficult situation, it can lead to us unintentionally saying something that come off wrong to the other party. I'd really love for you to get an answer, even if it isn't one you like, so you'd at least know what went on and could move on from it.
Because this, reasonably, is pretty upsetting.
You are never too old to feel disappointed, hurt, or confused, Anon! It's okay to be depressed at any age when you've invested your time and energy in a hobby only to have it passed over for nebulous reasons. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, but that's the thing...hobbies aren't your job, the time and energy you invest in them is just for you. It's a passionate pursuit, if you want it to be. So having this kind of situation is hurtful, and you don't even know why it's happening.
Tumblr has this extremely gross problem with throwing around shit to shame muns over twenty-five for having a hobby still, don't internalize it! I'm not remotely sorry that I have interests outside of my work, cleaning my house, paying my bills, or having offspring (which, I do not, but that's the expectation, at midnight on your twenty-sixth birthday, if you don't drop dead, you have three children and a spouse and they're your sole interests, this is the only way to be an adult)...and I'm not remotely sorry for being as passionate about those interests as I was ten and twenty years ago, either. Including the emotions that come with it. I'm sure that if being a PTA parent was my primary hobby and someone snubbed me repeatedly in it without telling me why, I'd be upset about that, too. It's okay to have a hobby, it's okay to have feelings, including negative ones like being depressed. No matter what the RPC has to say about it.
I just hope that something in here helps! It might take a little bit to find new mutuals, talk to your current mutuals, try out new things with your writing, whatever it is you end up trying, but try to stay patient and looking forward to better things to come. I believe this can work out, and you deserve for it to!
Oh, on a side note? If it is your muse being one the fandom has stigmatized? Same, and fuck them. Is that hostile? Yes, and I'm not sorry lol Don't feel like you need to change muses because of that. You need to find the right mutuals, not cater to negative, irrational, and almost certainly purity culture-based attitudes of the wrong ones. When you take up a muse your fandom, or even corner of your fandom's RPC, has taken issue with, your only responsibility is to accept that you likely will have fewer interactions as a part of that choice. Fewer does not mean none, nor does it mean the interactions you don't want/are not fulfilling or otherwise enjoyable for you. Again, you just need to find the right group of muns!
There are muns out there who will appreciate your muse, and exactly as you are writing them too. There are muns who will appreciate your writing style, activity level, and preferred genres. If it takes you a bit to find them, just look at it as an exercise to spend more time developing your muse and writing for when you find them. It'll all be worth it if you hang in there.
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