#me: hey girl wait you're making me realize that having (REDACTED) as a separate copilot entity sometimes is really not normal

[sparingiscaring]

The Unsettled Stalker – An Understanding of Wadiya Babar

Monster-Hunter, Vake-Killer, and a threat to all beasts that roam London’s sidestreets and darkened corners. Who is the Unsettled Stalker, and what drove them to Bag a Legend? And why did they stop short of their goal?

But first, some quick, important info

Wadiya is my youngest PC at 23, celebrating their birthday on April 26th and uses they/she pronouns. They do not consider the gender of ANYONE under normal circumstances, least of all themself. Their sexuality and romantic attractions are… complicated, but the closest description is Aroace*, where the * is never actually elaborated on. Aroace, but with a ~homoerotic dynamic~ that cannot be explained in a non-queer, non-alloromantic way. Romance? Yesn’t. They don’t know either, and it’s not tactical to sit down and answer the question.

Wadiya was first conceived of as a nun named Willow Valley when I first made their account in January 2020, and was originally intended to also serve as my Seeking alt, but I dropped that mistake of characterization within 3 months. Unfortunately, while I abandoned the Christian aspect of the character around the same time,

Wadiya’s characterization would stay in a state of chaos for the next two years, only solidifying by April of this year. The 26th in particular was chosen as their new birthday as it’s the first record I have of referring to them AS Wadiya.

It's also the day they bit Mr Fires repeatedly.

Wadiya is selectively mute, and will answer any dire questions with the smallest amount of words possible. They also understand and can communicate (a bit clumsily) in BSL, but will use signs in a similarly blunt way as to words, and writing is much the same. If they don’t feel like talking to someone, Wadiya will often just ignore their questions, or leave the room if they continue to be bothered.

Wadiya, more than any of my other PCs, is an extremely solitary character, lacking a spouse, and often avoiding all human interaction possible. It’s not like Wadiya hates people; a better way to phrase it is that they’re quite apathetic to humanity as a whole, lacking any intrinsic respect for them, and finding better company in that of the monsters they hunt. One notable exception is April from BaL, as she is one of only two people Wadiya has any respect for, and is, somewhat ironically, a person Wadiya will speak full sentences to in any language. The other exception is The Manager of the Royal Beth, as the tales of his accomplishments, if rumors are to be believed about his identity, are worthy of respect no matter how embellished.

(My PCs can best be described as each being 1/5th of my life, and Wadiya’s apathy is inspired by my own struggles with empathy, especially towards strangers, so I WOULD say apologies if this seems insensitive, but it My Life, so… yeah, not super sorry actually!)

In regards to their apathy, Wadiya was not made to act this way out of trauma, and it’s not done out of malice. Well, their most oft-said word being “Pathetic.” is definitely done in bad faith, but their ambivalence towards humanity has been a part of their life since birth to some degree, growing to be such a major aspect of their personality once they entered the Neath. Wadiya had just always taken to animals far better than to humans; the prey earned her respect for fighting against a world so determined to beat and consume them, prevailing despite the odds.

It was always the predators, though, that Wadiya felt most drawn to, drawn to the stark death that dripped from their claws and teeth. The pull to leave the humanity they didn’t understand behind, and become something more like the beasts they admire so has sung to Wadiya ever since they first stepped foot in the darkness of the Neath, and that first taste of change, when her eyes became stained with Peligin, was all it took to send Wadiya down the path of Monstrous Anatomy irreversibly. Their hunts are so deeply stained by the color that the blood from any kill is enough to mark their skin for weeks, while their eyes, mouth, and talons are permanently marked in the hue.

Oh, and they DO have talons. And fangs that crowd their mouth and dance in excitement at the taste of blood. And probably a thousand other little changes, both inside and out, making The Unsettled Stalker land farther from humanity with each successful kill.

Wadiya seems to lack any and all fear, but their epithet of The Unsettled Stalker is NOT a misnomer. Put in the simplest way possible, via a meme from my brother…

… yes, Wadiya’s uptick in apathy after coming to the Neath, and seeming lack of fear, is simply because they’re always terrified, and have grown so used to the feeling that it presents as sheer numbness instead. After all, if you are scared of the dark like them, and happen to live in a very gloomy cave, finding real, KILLABLE monsters in the shadows is probably a COMFORT to you after 3 years.

It’s no wonder then, that Wadiya gravitated towards the grandest hunt of them all after only a few weeks in London proper.

Oh, the Vake. This is where that asterisk (*) comes in.

Ever since April 26th, I’ve stood by one statement, and this can be considered the thematic crux of Wadiya as a character. It, and I know this for a fact, does not align correctly with the characterization of Veils in the rest of FL proper, and probably is contradicted by the text of BaL itself, but this dynamic is crux of Wadiya’s story regardless; Wadiya and the Vake are two sides of the same coin, and one CANNOT live without the other.

Not literally, of course, and not at first; it was just a challenge for themselves, echos be damned, and just another hunter, nothing special about it.

And then the Black Wings Absinthe, and the dreams of feral carnage, of one body. Of hunting and being hunted as one. The taps and scratches on their window, with claws that were their own. And then, the Impersonation. A willing, knowing choice to become like it again, going so far as to implant it’s teeth in their jaws, a permanent connection of their very bodies, not to mention the disorientation the game describes once coming out of the disguise, of how the streets bend for you, like they would a Master of the Bazaar. How much of the Vake lives in Wadiya, and how much of Wadiya lives in the Vake, for the very streets and shops and reflections of London itself to recognize them ais one and the same?

And when the Vake becomes Undone, any discrepancies vanish, of course, because now it’s far simpler than before. The Intriguer looks down on her, just like she does humanity. The Betrayer grins as it dies, just as they grinned as they killed it.

And, oh, the Curator.

“Tracked across Parabola and around the Order of Days, and leashed into obedience. When you ride it, its talons are your talons, and you shriek with its murderous joy.”

Two sides, one coin A chipped and dulled and warped coin, but well-loved all the same. Talons and shrieks and bloody fangs, all as one. Treated with adoration, and never farther than the next rooftop, or a blur of darkness in the night sky, or tap-tap-tapping on the window outside their room at night. Never separate, and never divided.

And if the Curator ever isn’t enough, well, there is still that extra Chimerical head lying on the nightstand. And it does not keep as still as one would hope. I’m sure they can get some enrichment from that.

And if not?

Well, it’s ONLY the bounds of the game that are keeping this former Seeker from becoming one with the other 2/3rd of the Vake.

Monstrous Anatomy is Increasing…

IMPORTANT 2024 UPDATE:

Wadiya is still mostly the same as above but the root cause is no longer an empathy and apathy-based disconnect. It is now SQUARELY an issue of disassociation as the root of the disconnect from most other humans. Having someone in her brain in the form of Absinthe and the Vake was the most healing thing in the world for Wadiya, and has allowed to be a lot... happier, and at peace.

I will put no label on Wadiya, mostly due to having no label for myself, but Wadiya does disassociate, and does struggle to see where she ends and the Vake begins, as well as struggling with agency and memory when it comes to non-hunts.

The Wadiya that goes out from her home to hunt and who shares meals with Urchins is not quite the same as the being who performs the basic functions of staying alive and healthy or negotiates with members of the Railway and is separate from the Wadiya that flies and is one with what remains of the Vake.

Wadiya-Who-Hunts and Wadiya-Who-Flies and the Vake are all a gradient, while the one that can mask and pass for neurotypical in public is to the Left of the Gradient. If you Get that Vibe, then good. The brain is wiggly, trauma makes things weird, sometimes you need to adopt a thing into your brain to make yourself function and you don't know what the words for that or the implications OF it mean.