#me when i lie as i refuse to look at my lms

[klainecrisscolferforever]

First, thank you for finally giving me an excuse to unfollow several people and accounts that I’ve been dying to cut ties with since the 16th, I get all of my D information from our news sharing team and my CC friends so as of now his unfollow will continue to stand (especially knowing it’s not RRALLY him anyway) 🤷🏾‍♀️ He may not have chosen this route happily, but he did make the decision to show up and participate. I will always and forever believe in CC and C and even D, I just refuse to be believe in this decision on ALL accounts. From the pictures seen (either accidentally or because they won’t fucking stop popping up on my timelines), I knew it was fake, but the betrayal and heartbreak was still there because why take it this far for a ‘career move’ when love is so much more valuable than fame? I really do hope he protected himself, his assets, and his REAL relationship with everything before meeting her down that aisle. I hope he took the necessary steps needed to ensure him coming out of this scratched and not scarred. I unfollowed those such as LM and SKs because they were annoying me but also because to know someone and their situation and yet blindly enable their execution is just disheartening and I can’t tell if it’s for support or for clout anymore. Max and Harry are on another level of supportive for me because they don’t enable, they may share in the antics but the indulge and stand by the bad decisions to protect their friends and former colleagues. What I don’t understand about these nuptials is WTF did it turn out like this? The scene in the woods (from the pictures) was alright I guess, even if it was mocking us, the clothes were offendingly bad, the body language was very telling (I mean you’re an actor... sell happy if you must, but don’t look like you’re going to your own version of hell), the promos were tacky and in poor taste, the fact that so much was focused on the ‘party’ and not the love of two souls becoming one is VERY VERY VERY VERY telling, and though negative I’m happy to see more and more people opening their eyes and seeing right through this bullshit stans call M/iarren. It was wildly unorganized, unkempt, and horrendously bad, but I’m over it all. Once again, I hope he can find his way out of the dark and into the light, I hope he find peace. It’s not real, but a lie is still a lie. It’s still a hard thing to fix when that’s all it’s ever been. I hope it’s all worth it in the end for him, for them, and for us.

[clockworkopera]

LORD OF SHADOWS THEORIES: (Part 2)

Disclaimer: My theories are built not just on the Dark Artifices, but from all the previous books as a whole, and will contain spoilers if you haven’t read them. I haven’t watched the Shadowhunter TV series, so these ideas are based solely on book canon.

(edit: This was written before LoS was released. Some of the theories are a little out of date, but still interesting!)

ON THE FAE:

Why is it the only Shadowhunters that we know to have faerie blood are Mark and Helen Blackthorn? Over a thousand years of history and no mention of any others. Could it be that Shadowhunter and Faerie blood can’t mix much like the Shadowhunter and Demon blood? Could there be an exception or loophole if there was already some demon blood in a Shadowhunter ie) Tessa’s line?

(CP 279-280) Tessa meets Hyacinth at Benedict Lightwood’s party and tells her that fae look for ways to strengthen their bloodline and she comments on how much Tessa looks like her adult mother. That means that the Fae had been watching Elizabeth Grey/Adele Starkweather. And we know that Mark’s blood is prized for it rarity—and so what if the Fae have always had their eye on Tessa’s line, may have even helped Mortmain’s changeling exchange of Adele Starkweather in the hopes of creating Tessa and with her a Shadowhunter line that could breed with faeries. Creepy. I’ll get back to this in a bit.

              I get the sense that the Seelie Queen hasn’t been at full power in a while. Mark in LM (403-404), “The Queen of the Seelie Court can be deprived of her powers if her crown is stolen. Even, Gwyn, who leads the Wild Hunt, must yield authority to any who steals his cloak.” Is this why she is in hiding? Julian and Emma were whipped for this information: it’s important!

My theory: Princess Nerissa knew the Seelie Queen was off her rocker and capable of doing inordinate damage to her own people, so I think she asked the Blackthorn brothers to help her hide the crown in the hopes of diminishing the Seelie Queen’s power.

I think that Nerissa’s affair was with Arthur and not Andrew, and when he wouldn’t break under fae questioning they punished him by trying to break his mind. Julian: LM (pg120) “His lunacy, as the Clave would have termed it, was to Julian’s mind a faerie-spun thing. If they had not destroyed his sanity, they had planted the seeds of its destruction.” And Mark says: LM (pg482) “ ‘Madness’ was the faerie word for it; it was a faerie punishment, in fact, the bringing down of madness.”

I think fearing discovery of what Nerissa had done, Helen and Mark were smuggled out of Faerie to the safety of Andrew’s Shadowhunter Institute and the protection of the Clave, before the fae could use the children as leverage against Nerissa and Arthur. I think Arthur’s mind was broken at this point as a Faerie punishment because he wouldn’t reveal the truth about where the crown was. Andrew took in the children as his own, knowing Arthur wasn’t stable enough to raise them.

When the Faerie convoy comes to the Institute, Julian asks Arthur if he knows why, and with a casualness Arthur tells him: LM (119) “Perhaps Nerissa would know.” It’s with a familiarity that seems like he wasn’t in the thrall of being tortured for seven years. It is known that the fae wove so many illusions for the brothers, much like when Mark first returned, that everything of their testimony before the Clave is suspect. They fae are brilliant at lies for truth and truth in lies. In Arthur’s mind, he knows where to find the Crown and it may have been one of the reasons the L.A. Institute is attacked by Sebastian and Meliorn. Finding the Crown may pull in a plot thread for what the Queen of Air and Darkness is about.

So, was Nerissa discovered and imprisoned? Will Mark and family find her alive and learn the truth? Could she be reunited with Arthur and cure him of the faerie punishment? OR…If she is dead: how does the line of succession in the Seelie Court work? If the Seelie Queen dies, and Nerissa was a Princess, could the next in line for Queen be Helen?

--And has anyone seen Gwyn wearing his cloak?

LM(pg199) Mark: “They told me I had no choice but to leave the Hunt. That the King of the Unseelie Court had commanded it.” Since when does the Unseelie King command the Hunt?

I think in terms of general politics, the Unseelie King is making a move to take over all of Faerie. The chapters of LoS are based on Poe’s poem Dreamland. The poem describes a very fae-like place where the dead roam and is presumably ruled by a Lord of Shadows. I think the King believes that the Black Volume of the Dead will give him the power to become that Lord of Shadows. I think he already has Gwyn’s cloak and is forcing an independent Wild Hunt to yield to his authority, and the Queen’s on the run because she doesn’t have the Crown of Thorns and she knows he’ll kick her ass. He wants to rule all the Fae, not just the Unseelie Court, and this puts Faerie in the midst of a civil war.

And that gives us the Dark Artifices: 1) Black Volume of the Dead 2) Gwyn’s cloak 3) Crown of Thorns

And this is the backdrop that Emma and the Blackthorns will be walking into when they go to rescue Kieran.

--And remember the Blackthorns didn’t technically fulfill the deal. They never turned over Malcolm to the Court for justice (and the King could care less about the murderer, he just thought the murderer had the book). The Fae are very big on technicalities so they’re not just going to let Mark go. They’ll press their claim. But, of course they could restrike a bargain: The King want the Book, Gwyn wants his cloak and the Queen wants her crown. Any of them would be willing help free Mark if they got what they wanted. Easy Peasy. Kieran’s predicament could be a lure to bring the Blackthorns to Fae.

***(I think someone will become the Lord of Shadows, but it won’t be the King…stay tuned for Part 3 of my theories as to who it will be when I go into my thoughts about who will die)***

 But, what else might the Blackthorns find in Fae….

Christine from Polandbanana books likes the theory of Sebastian having a child with the Seelie Queen and it’s a good one— (even works with my theory of Shadowhunter/Demon blood combo needed to procreate), but it’s almost too obvious.

So, I have a twist… I wonder about Kaelie Whitewillow and her brief fling with Jace Herondale. Remember, the fae knew Jace was a Herondale, even while no one else did, and they are trying to strengthen their bloodlines. Why would a Queen’s handmaiden be a waitress in a restaurant in New York that Jace frequented—or bother to flirt with him in the first place? And why would a waitress be the one the Seelie Queen sent when the Dark War was over in the hopes of negotiating terms?  That’s a weighty responsibility.

(COHF 639-) “Jocelyn Fairchild sat beside Maryse, but there was no sign anywhere of Clary Fray or Jace Lightwood.” Jace wasn’t there and he was the only one who maybe had a hope of convincing the Clave of leniency, but why would he? Did Kaelie think she had leverage over him?

What if it isn’t Sebastian’s child in Faerie, but Jace’s?

I can picture Jules’ annoyance at this muttering to himself: “Why can’t the Herondales ever keep track of their children?”

FURTHER DOWN THE CRACKPOT ROAD OF FAE:

(If you haven’t recovered from the Jace thing above, please take a break before you continue) …

Meliorn could lie because one of his parents was not fae. No one ever talks about who his non fae parent was. Theory: Benedict Lightwood. The man was infected with Demon Pox (there is a lovely song), so it still fits the demon blood theory and would make him eligible for fatherhood of a fae—and we know from the party Will and Tessa attended way back in the day (CP) he was promiscuous, in case the Demon Pox didn’t give that away.

But, if so, that would have made Meliorn a Shadowhunter. One denied of his rightful name and place within Shadowhunter society because of his mixed blood—Benedict Lightwood would have considered him a dirty little secret. In terms of age: We don’t know how long Shadowhunter/Fae children live, if their immortal or if their life span is extended. We do know that time works differently in faerie and Mark hasn’t aged, so Meliorn could easily have lived 100+ years. Meliorn could have plotted retribution on the Clave for generations nursing a hatred against the Lightwood name who refused to claim him, that only got worse after Robert Lightwood’s actions with the Circle.

So…for my next big theory: If Meliorn was a Shadowhunter, he could have entered anyplace a Shadowhunter could have, including the Institutes. I think he exchanged baby Max for a changeling (revenge not just for the Lightwood name, but punishment for Robert’s deeds while in the Circle) and raised the biological Lightwood child as his foster son in Faerie.

The boy would have been turned against the Shadowhunters with stories of the Circle, how the Clave treated their own in Mark and Helen Blackthorn, and been privileged to a first-hand account of the Fae’s suffering under the Cold Peace. He probably would believe that Meliorn rescued him from the Shadowhunters and seeing as how his counterpart is dead (Sebastian did seem surprised at how fragile their Max was), he may have a point. And seeing as how Alec killed his ‘father’—this could be an awkward future reunion. His age (if not screwy with fae time), would coincide close with Dru’s.

He would make such an interesting character dynamic full of anger and angst against the Clave, making Alec and Isabelle’s lives miserable—the Clave would never trust him. The Wicked Powers is in five years’ time which would put him and Dru around 18, a good age for main characters and possible ships.  

Thoughts?

**I’m new to Tumblr and not sure my posts are coming up in the searches. So, if you like, please reblog. Thanks!

[blu-pheonix-blog]

January 7th 2017 -The Inside-

So today was a “low” day for me... or maybe it was closer to a “middle” day. You know what lets call to day “middle-low.” It wasn’t all bad to be honest i started and finished the 3 season of Degrassi Next Class and if your watching or have watched Lola is my spirit Animal, and Maya Matlin (which wonderful name btw) is pretty much how i feel 75% of the time. Due to the wonderful “blizzard” i guess that is what the east coast calls all this god awful snow, I am confined to my domicile simply because i have very few (no) friends nearby and its still a little to dangerous to drive. In other good news i was able to watch more shows that I've missed in the last few months since i started working night shift and largely today i feel “pretty” i don’t feel that often. I inquired with a co worker about if they were still looking for a roommate. I think now is the time for me to move out, I know financially its not smart and I’m mostly happy here with my mother and sister but still I find that i’m coming to a crawl on my personal growth and I fear that soon it will become a screeching halt. I even heard from my friend in jail today, its nice to hear his voice and to hear his plans for when he gets out. Its so rare that I find someone who can admit their problems and want to change their ways and hearing this has given me hope for people and him. I promised that as long as he’s trying to change his ways i would support him and be their for him 100 percent.

So their was some bad today too. for starters its my day off and i’m isolated because of the snow. I hate being Alone. Sometimes i find being by myself to be refreshing, but today is not one of those days. Today i needed to be surrounded and distracted as my thoughts became crowded. Then there’s my friend situation due to the beguiling efforts of his other friends mother he believes me a liar and a snitch. As such he refuses to speak with me or contact me it entirely breaks my heart. but more so than that, there’s his doubt a young man that would lie to my face would believe me, a man who has told him the truth since day one, to lie to him about anything. I’m frustrated by this woman, and confused by her motives what would a woman gain from driving me away from him? That’s a mystery to solve at a later time. I’m worried about money and recent changes to my work schedule and student loans will see me making a little less for a little while. And then ultimately there’s my life, i have let it spend beyond my control. lm lost in my head today wondering how i can get back on track and honestly i don’t know how. i feel myself drowning  and searching for ways to be okay with the course my life has taken but i just don’t know.

Anyway thanks everyone, or maybe no one for letting me vent and share this journey with you.