#me when i haven't been alright... not since the lunar war...

[where1endandyoubeg1n]

epic uncle cliff moment

[turtledealer]

Itachi x Reader (angst)

songfic: unlucky by Lunar Vacations

"could go outside

Let the wind flow through me If stood in the sun

I would vanish completely"

Itachi sits in the room he's been staying in for as long as he's been gone from the hidden leaf village. The silence of his room is only accompanied by the tormenting whispers of his walls. He's gotten too sick to really wander around outside like he used to do. Keeping up a façade of strength around his fellow Akatsuki members was draining him more and more. He truly just wished to rest. To be freed from his burdens but he knows he can only let Sasuke do that for him. His dearest little brother that he loved oh so much, only second to you. His best friend.

"I remember you said

If you walk the line, then your feet will get cut

So unlucky"

He kicks his feet over the edge of his bed, walking over to some picture frames. His room was minimal because he didn't have any need for any materialistic things since they'd be worthless anyways in the end. The edges of him mouth turn into a tiny smile, to an untrained eye it wouldn't look like nothing much more than his usual face, but he knows you would've recognized it as his smile. His eyes lightly gaze upon the small assortment of pictures. Pictures of you, Sasuke and him spending time together. These pictures haunt him in the form of guilt and anguish. As he stands there he recalls some memories of you and him.

"Itachi!" You yell at him, out of breath. "You idiot why do you always have to walk so fast!" You laugh and nudge his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I need to get to my training soon though" he smiles at you softly. His eyes are gentle and friendly.

"It's quite alright, you should take it easy though 'tachi.." you say, a semblance of worry crossing your face. "If you keep your training up day and night, you'll only cause yourself harm"

He nods in agreement, he knows, but there's not much he can do. He doesn't have a choice but he'll entertain your worries if it will ease your heart, even slightly. "Yes, I will.. thank you y/n". He's lucky to have such a sweet friend like you by his side.

"You're in love and I'm unlucky See you in the street

Start to wonder deeply

If changed how i was

How would everyone view me?"

Itachi always knew of your crush on him, he knows shisui only hit on you to try to get him to put up a fight over you. However being in the ANBU doesn't permit such feelings. He knows it won't end up well for either of you. Unfortunately at his young age, he should've been able to explore that, to explore love. He shouldn't have seen the horrors of war the way he did, he shouldn't have had to train so hard for the sake of his clan the way he has since he was a young boy, but life has it's inequalities. Luck was never on Itachi's side, unluckily for you, otherwise maybe...just maybe.. you both could've had a fighting chance in the future to be happy.

"Safe face for tonight

Keep on thinking

It's just a line

Safe face for tonight

know you're thinking It's only right"

It's hours before his big mission now. He's counting down the seconds from when his life is completely tattered and ruined. He felt a piece of his heart shatter when he told Sasuke he couldn't help him. He wanted nothing more than to hold him close and tell him that no matter what, his big brother loves him more than anything in this world. After all of this, he knows Sasuke will never see his big brother in a good light again. He hopes he left his baby brother with some good memories of him even if he hides them away. He knows he should go see you, before everything happens he wants to see your smile just once. He heads over to your home.

"tachi! Hey! How nice to grace me with your presence!" You beam brightly, dashing over to him. You haven't seen your crush in so long and it's so wonderful to know he has some time to visit you. You can tell something's off, his eyes are dull and there's remorse written all over them.

"Hey 'tachi what's wrong?" Worry laced through every syllable.

"Nothing nothing y/n, you just know missions and training have kept me busy nonstop.. I'm just tired" he gives halfheartedly with a plastic smile. Itachi wasn't a very touchy or affectionate person, even as friends but he knows he's never gonna see you again.

"H-hey! What're you doing?" You blush at the sudden embrace you're given. Something is seriously wrong but you won't know what it is unless he tells you, so for now you give him a light squeeze back. He pulls away slightly, looking at your face, analyzing every single shift in your features. To you, he seems like he's peering into your very soul and it's a little unnerving, but to him he's memorizing every single thing about you that he can. He smiles lightly, a genuine smile for once in quite some time. "sorry If I'm worrying you, I just have a long mission soon.. just trying to say my... See you later..." He hesitates trying to find a good way to phrase what he wishes to say.

"I'm going to head off now.." he moves your hair from your face carefully, almost as if he's afraid to touch you like you'll crumble into pieces.

"Be safe itachi! I have something I wanna talk to you about when you get back so you better be safe!" You punch his arm gently, suddenly recalling something.

"Oh! Here's a gift I've been meaning to give you for your birthday I missed since you were training too hard!" You pull a necklace out of your pocket. It's obviously a little hand carved necklace you got from a vendor nearby for cheap, but to itachi, he wouldn't sell this for the world.

"Thank you y/n.. I'll cherish it every single day I'm away" he bows slightly and starts to take this leave.

"Hey one last thing!" You yell from afar, "Don't train too hard or you'll only harm yourself" you giggle lightly whilst waving goodbye to the young boy. You hope you can see him again soon, you wanted to tell him how you felt, after all, it's one of the last things shisui told you that you should do before he disappeared.

"You're in love and l'm unlucky"

Later on into the night, after killing his whole village and dealing with Sasuke, he had one stop left. Your home.

He slowly walks down the familiar path into your yard. Leaves crunching with every step. Blood covers every article of clothing. He slowly opens the door to your home. He knew you lived alone after you were orphaned at such a young age due to the wars. He hopes you'd understand in the afterlife that this was to stop others from the same thing.

" Hmm..? 'tachi?" You wipe your eyes lightly whilst lifting yourself out of bed. Your vision is still blurry from just being awoken. "It's really late to visit.. you should've come by in the morning" you yawn out. There's a putrid smell in the air and you can only assume it's the garbage you haven't taken out in a couple days.

"Y/n... Forgive me..." He practically begs, tears falling from his eyes. He slowly pulls his katana out from behind him, the blade dripping with blood.

"Itachi? What the hell are you doing?" You ask, finally seeing the sight in front of you. Dead eyes, tears, blood covering every inch of the man before you, and a blade pouring blood. You back away slowly, getting your chakra ready. Before you can do anything you're suddenly unable to move. "Itachi no.. itachi what are you doing??" You cry out, you can't stop shaking no matter how hard you try to seem brave.

Itachi looks at you, his eyes can't seem to stop watering, his heart aches more and more with every single step he takes towards you. "shisui had told me you loved me before...." He begins "I'm sorry I could never reciprocate those feelings.. I'm sorry for everything... I hope one day you'll forgive me.. one day far into the future when we're both in the afterlife I hope... I hope you'll see I'm doing this for everyone's sake... I-im... not doing this because I want to .. god how I wished this moment would never come.." he chokes out, pointing the katana at your shaking body.

"But...just know.. maybe in another life.. I can love you without this guilt.. maybe in another life we grow up together and become amazing Shinobi and eventually even start dating... Maybe in another life I'll be a good brother in Sasuke's eyes as well... " He pushes the sword forward, wincing at the feeling the blade piercing your flesh.

You yell in pain at every move he makes. "I hate you..itachi.. you're a monster.." you finish as he plunges the blade into you all at once. You take a final look at the man you had once loved, your best friend, ironic that it ended up like this. You'll never forgive him. No matter what.

"I love you"

Itachi falls to his knees, his time is coming soon and he'd have to face you again. That's what he feared most. He loved you so much and he killed you. He betrayed you.

He wipes his tears away and gets up to grab a note he had written and some flowers. He heads to your grave and gently places the note and flowers down. "Hey y/n... I'm sorry for bothering you... I'll... Get what I deserve here soon... So unfortunately you'll have to see me again" he weakly laughs out. "I'm sorry for everything, I'll explain every single thing to you. You don't have to forgive me.. I just wanna see your face one more time.. it torments me every night.. I close my eyes and I see the look in your eyes you had when I killed you .. I hear you repeating monster over and over again.. you're so painfully right.. maybe.. we can start over with new memories and new lives.. y/n.. I'm so genuinely sorry... It'll be by Sasuke's hands too, I know that you'll be glad to hear it, I ruined his life and now he's getting vengeance for you and everyone else.. it's what he deserves" he smiles sadly, wiping his tears. "I'm sick and dying anyways.. this is the only fair way to go.. don't you think y/n? You were right.. the training and over doing it really messed me up... I should've listened to you shouldn't I?" He smiles while getting up. It's time. He knows he has to go and handle what he needs to handle. "Goodbye.. I'll see you soon y/n... I'm sorry"