#me personal worldsgreatestlie truth suicide death drugs killme pleaseletme die

[worldsgreatestlie]

I love my family

They try and help me trying to hook me up with a job. But I still feel like giving up. I feel like I just don't want to be here anymore. they want me to open up to them u think they sense it. But idk what to do nothing brings me joy or happiness in depressed and suicidal. But I'm afraid to tell my family. I'm afraid because I know they care and want to help me but I think in beyond help. I've thought about it extensively, looked up the best ways to do. It's been years since my two failed attempts (wrong type of pills and alcohol.) But I know how now and I just want to get out I don't want to be here I don't want to exist. This world is too much for me. Pain after pain after pain. It's no one's fault I've looked at this logically is not because someone but me or did harsh words it's not cause I feel nobody loves me. It's just why keep going why fight to live what gets better? What's the goal here live till in 80 and can barely walk or function. Watched my friend's and family die before me. Existance is pain and my tolerance for that pain is diminishing day by day.