#me going to KL's city center alone on a weekday morning be it by car or train would hv been a nightmare
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im having sad boy hours
#m#i need a therapist but i dont hv one so im gonna dump all my sad boy thoughts here#its advisable that u dont read bc its just a long ass rant abt my stupid dumbass#missing shawn#anyways#im psychoanalysing myself rn to find out what the fuck is the reason im so SAD#like...... am i sad bc i regret not skipping class today to go to MO ? no not rlly i deadass thought i had a test even tho we didnt end up#having the test bc the professor forgot (lmao) so i dont rlly regret going to class....#am i sad bc i didnt go to MO after class ?? not rlly either he didnt stop to greet anyone they just got videos of him walking by and like#me going to KL's city center alone on a weekday morning be it by car or train would hv been a nightmare#am i sad bc i didnt go to klia after class ? not rlly either bc he also didnt stop for pics and only talked to a couple of them#also going to klia would hv wasted me a lot of money and time so im not regretting that either#and like... also.... me deciding to go back home was the most morally sound decision sndfkdnff i mean if i were to go to MO or klia#this morning that would hv breeched into proper stalker activities which... as morally compromised as i am... i do still respect him jdfnkhd#WHY AM I SAD THEN CAN SOMEONE COME EXPLAIN#like.... im sad to the point that im soothing my sadness with the slight promise that mayhaps i will go to his melbourne show#like as if thats just not the stupidest fucking idea#LIKE IVE ALREADY MET HIM TWICE WHAT THE FUCK MORE DOES MY HEART WANT#WHAT IS WRONG WIT ME WHY AM I SADDDDDD#when selena gomez was like 'the heart wants what it wants' about a canadian white boy.... i felt that#no i dont have underlying unresolved issues with grief and problems with separation anxiety what are u talking about
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