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morgan-macguire · 4 years ago

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Outlaws For Life

Arthur Morgan x reader (rdr1)

Summary: After Johns family is taken, he comes to you and Arthur.

Warnings: rdr1 spoilers, rdr2 spoilers too tbh

A/n: I finished rdr1 for the first time in years a while ago and wanted to write this. In this fic, Arthur did not die on the mountain. Also!! it’s gender neutral :) Arthur and reader have kids but I didn’t say how they got them so that part is up to u lol :)

idk if anyone still reads for red dead, but I’m still writing (very slowly)!

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Thick grey clouds blanketed the normally blue sky. A cold breeze swept through the land, much unlike the usual pleasant breeze that you’d grown so accustomed to. Rain was heading your way for sure, Arthur and the boys were taking advantage of the weather as much as possible. They’d invited you to come along on their fishing trip, but you declined. As much as you loved spending time with them, you didn’t want to get caught out in the rain.

So instead, you stayed home and looked after the house. Arthur assured you they wouldn’t be out too late, they’d be back by supper time. He offered to cook upon his return, but you beat him to it. A hearty venison stew, including some fresh vegetables from the garden, was already cooking on the stove before they got home.

You had just finished setting the table when you heard three heavy taps on the front door. It was unlike Arthur to knock before entering his own home, so you peered through the kitchen window to find out who was paying you a visit before heading over to the door.

“John Marston!” You gasped, stepping through the doorway to engulf him in a hug, “It’s been too long.”

John let out a small chuckle, “That it has, y/n.”

“Please, come in. Supper is just about finished,” you opened the door fully after letting him go, not bothering to wait for his reply. “Arthur should be back with the boys soon.”

John mumbled out a thank you, following you into the kitchen. He took a deep breath, inhaling the delicious smell of the stew pot. Abigail was, without a doubt, a terrible cook. The last time he smelled something so good, he nearly brought his family to live with you.

“Where are Abigail and Jack?” You questioned, setting an extra seat at the table for him and returning to the pot on the stove.

“That’s why I’m here, actually.” It didn’t take much for you to pick up on the frustration that laced his raspy voice. You ceased your movements, setting the silverware aside and taking a seat with your old friend.

“What’s wrong, John?”

Whatever he had come to tell you, it was hurting him something fierce. You could see it in his eyes. They drifted from yours as his shoulders tensed in visible irritation. Your hands moved to rest on his, hoping to provide some comfort. As he gathered the words in his mind, you couldn’t help but wonder if they had left him again. Sure, John wasn’t always the best father or husband, but he always tried his best. After all these years and after what happened with their daughter, surely they wouldn’t leave. It was silly of you to even think that.

“The government took them. They tracked me down, and want me to go after the rest of the gang. They took my family.”

“Oh my lord. John, I-“ You waited a moment to process what you had just heard. With a hand raised to cover your mouth in shock, you were speechless. After all these years, the government was still after the Van Der Linde Gang, or what was left of it. Before you could gather your words, the front door swung open. You heard Arthur’s spurs clink through the threshold, followed by two less than graceful sets of footsteps thundering in after.

Arthur‘s gentle voice laughed at something that was said prior to entering the house. You heard him gather the fishing poles and tell the boys to check on you while he put the gear away. It didn’t take long for the boys to stumble into the kitchen, faces lighting up at the sight of their Uncle sitting across from you.

“Uncle John!” Thomas and George both raced to your friend, nearly knocking him off his chair in the process, “We saw your horse out front!” Thomas noted.

“You two are gettin’ big.” John smiled, patting both of your sons. He stood up to greet Arthur when he stepped into the kitchen, slightly damp from the rain.

“The golden boy!” The two men embraced, both glad to see the other. You sent the boys away to wash up as you removed the stew pot from the stove.

“Let’s eat. We have to talk. Away from the boys.” You sent Arthur a pointed glance, silently letting him know that it was important, before looking back to John for his input.

“Of course.” John nodded.

When the boys returned, the four of you sat around the table to eat. The dinner conversation was pleasant, and consisted mostly of your boys telling John stories of their recent adventures with their father. Of course, they fabricated many of the details, but John pretended to believe everything. The cheerful mood turned sour, however, when Arthur inquired about John’s family.

“What are Abigail and Jack up to?” Arthur asked, casually taking a bite of his stew.

John instantly frowned, glancing to you before looking back at his brother. The table grew silent quickly, and both young boys looked to you.

“George, Thomas, why don’t you finish your supper in the family room, like you’re always asking to do?”

“I thought you didn’t want us to eat in there?” Thomas popped an eyebrow up at you.

“We can make an exception tonight. Now go ahead, before I change my mind.” You ruffled George’s hair as the two of them relocated to the other room without a second thought.

Arthur eyed you and John carefully. He could sense that whatever John had come to say wasn’t anything pleasant, so he patiently waited to be informed. When the boys were completely out of earshot, John began to explain his predicament.

“Agent Ross tracked me down. Him and all of his government boys took Abigail and Jack. They’re holding them somewhere, won’t say where. They say I’ve gotta go after Bill, Javier, and Dutch to get ‘em back.”

Arthur was silent. He sat in shock, eyebrows creasing in the middle as he thought over the situation.

“I hate to ask, you know I do, but I need help.”

“It’s been a long time, John.”

“I know, brother. We all got out of that life years ago, I thought it was done.”

“We’ll never be done, John. The life we lived, it don’t let you out.” Arthur sighed. His shoulders sank and he glanced towards the family room before looking to you with sorrow in his eyes.

John sank in his seat.

“We’ll do what we can to help you, John. We’ll get Abigail and Jack back.” You said what Arthur was thinking, doing your best to reassure John.

“Thank you,” he nodded, “I know Javier is somewhere in Mexico. Bill is hiding in Fort Mercer behind his own gang, I figured that much out when he shot me-“

“You were shot?!” You gasped.

“It ain’t the first time.” John pointed out halfheartedly.

John went on to explain his peculiar circumstances. He’d been rescued by a rancher woman, Bonnie McFarlane, of the McFarlane ranch out in New Austin. She had him fixed up at the doctor and let him work off the bill. He was planning to go after the rest of your former family alone, but he needed to tell you and Arthur first. It didn’t feel right leaving the two of you in the dark, especially with how things ended with the Van Der Linde gang.

“We won’t let you do this alone, John.”

John shook his head, denying Arthur.

“Arthur, I can’t ask you to come with me. I was trying to avoid you being involved in this as much as possible. I just need information-“

“You’re not asking.” Arthur cut John off, “You’re my brother. I ain’t gonna let you do this on your own. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

You agreed with Arthur as a nervous pit settled in your stomach. The two of you had a family. You knew Arthur would drop everything to make sure his family was safe, he’d do the same for John’s. You also knew he would be going with John alone. He’d beg you to stay home, safe, with the boys. After everything that had happened all those years ago in the gang, he swore to himself that he’d never let you or your family fall into harms way again. He intended to keep that promise, no matter the cost.

Arthur, sensing your anxiety, placed his hand over yours under the table, trying to comfort you. He was likely thinking the same thing.

“No.” John managed to mutter out through the turmoil in his chest. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Mr. Marston with a look of bewilderment.

“I have to do this alone,” John began, “You can’t come.” He watched Arthur carefully as he finished his statement. Arthur couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“You’ll be killed, John. How do you know they’ll just hand Abigail and Jack over once this is done, huh?”

“Goddammit, Arthur!“ John raised his voice, “You’ve got a family here. This isn’t exactly the easiest job we’ve been on. They was once our family.”

“They stopped being family long ago, John. They made that call.” Arthur’s voice had shifted to a low growl as he recalled everything.

“I know, Arthur. That’s why I need to go alone. You got out for good, they all think you’re buried somewhere in the Grizzlies. You have to keep it like that, for your family’s sake.”

“And what about your family, John? What if you get shot again, and there’s no one to save you? You know that the two of us could get this done far quicker and easier than you on your own. They won’t even know I was there.”

“I don’t need saving! I need you to stay dead.” John nearly shouted, startling you. As much as you understood John’s point, you knew there was no changing Arthur’s mind. The two of them were a powerful duo, even though neither of them were in their prime age anymore. Two was safer than one. The Marstons were family, and family takes care of each other.

“Please, take this outside.” You interrupted the conversation with a heavy heart, not wanting the boys to hear them argue. Arthur almost started yelling back at John, but he stopped himself after hearing your voice. He took a frustrated breath, giving your hand one last squeeze before releasing it and standing up. John followed him out the front door without a word.

As soon as the door shut, you heard the two of them start arguing. Their voices were muffled due to the rain having picked up, but you had a pretty good idea about what they were saying. The porch shielded them from the water, but didn’t drown their voices out completely.

You dropped your head in your hands, trying to tune their voices out. A pit of anxiety formed inside you, eating away at your stomach. You just sat there, for who knows how long, thinking about how long Arthur would be away. Fort Mercer was far enough, they’d have to go to Tall Trees and Mexico.

After a short while, the argument outside grew quiet and John and Arthur entered the house. They returned to their seats without a word to each other. All it took was one look from Arthur for you to know what the decision was. John could barely look at you, he felt so bad.

You reached out to embrace your friend, not knowing what to say in the moment, and three of you went on to finish your meals. The conversation was awkward at first, but as time went on it strayed further from the inevitable and grew more lively. You told small anecdotes about your time at the Morgan ranch and John told stories about Beecher’s Hope. It had been months since the last visit from the Marstons. For now, you were just making up for the lost time.

Before you knew it, the sun had set and the stars shone bright behind the thick rain clouds. Your chat with John and Arthur stole the evening, and it was nearly time for the boys to hit the sack before you realized. You had only been made aware of how much time had actually passed when Thomas and George came stumbling in. Always full of energy, they bounced around the kitchen and dragged Arthur away for a short while.

“Would you stay the night, John? It’s late and the rain doesn’t look like it’s going to let up soon.”

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.” John offered a sad smile, helping you clear the table. Your heart ached for your old friend. John was truly in an unfair situation, and you could see the physical toll it was taking on him. He had worked hard day and night to create a better life for his family. He fought for years for them. It was supposed to be over. He was supposed to be living out his golden years just like you and Arthur, away from the government and the problems they created as a happy family. The only difference was that unlike John, the government believed Arthur was a dead man. He died on top of that mountain all those years ago.

“John.” you pulled yourself from you thoughts, gently grabbing his shoulder. When he turned to face you, you continued, “You’ve been dealt an awful hand, and I’m sorry for it. Arthur and I have your back. You’ll be back with Abigail and Jack in no time.”

“I really can’t thank you enough. You’ve both been too kind to me.”

“Nonsense, John,” you smiled, “We’re family, and family takes care of each other.”

—

After putting the boys to bed and getting John settled in his room for the night, you and Arthur couldn’t wait to get to sleep. The two of you had changed into your night clothes quickly, eagerly crawling under the covers together. Arthur wrapped an arm around your waist, drawing you in close to him. Reaching for his hand, you intertwined your fingers with his and pressed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. What a day it had been.

“What are we gonna do?” You asked, rubbing your thumb against the back of his palm.

Arthur exhaled into your neck, shaking his head. “We can’t let him do this alone.”

“I know, Arthur.” That much you were sure about. Everything else was up in the air. The two of you sat quietly for a while, silently thinking about what the near future had in store for your family.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr #red dead redemption #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 x reader #arthur morgan x reader #arthur x reader #rdr2 x reader #john marston #red dead redemption 1 #rdr1 #rdr1 x reader #red dead redemption 1 x reader #john marston x reader #john marston rdr

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thothcouncilof9 · 4 years ago

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Truth Transcends Illusion

It is the duty of all decent good men to protect the wellbeing of his grandmother, mother, aunt, sister, wife and daughters. No man would experience a life without her. Inturn same to all his brothers females, in hurting another’s you harm yours. The most high doesn’t authorize nor protects any man to harm the one chosen as the life bearer, creator of life. There are unlimited ways to gain finances in life, and this is not one of them. Doing nothing is identical to the abuse. - Thoth Council Of 9., In, our world our culture we have a special name for her Prime Creator, The Divine Mother., Which means respect for her unconditional love.

I am a divine sovereign being who has just discovered Thoth’s Global Message of Truth.,

Thoth is about to reveal to me the lies along with the corruption by governments who abuse children physically/emotionally and sexually exploiting children for financial gain using tax money by good people like myself. I understand what I Am about to read: Thoth knows by first hand experience after being the government’s dirty secret for 14 years. Who was gagged with frets, ridiculed into silence by using the general public who had no awareness of what went on along with his name removed from history to protect the government only. The gov are responsible for trying to cover up his daughter’s death and kidnapping his second daughter, which Justice Andrew McFarlane found guilty on all accounts August 2005. Justice McFarlane did not make sure they carried out his guilty verdict action, he allowed them to judge themselves in a secret Government court inside a company building where they set each other free to commit their crimes again. He failed his duty as a high court judge. Who’s guilty of gross misconduct. The British Government including Justice Andrew McFarlane are guilty of perverting the course of justice and encouraging the harm of children through illegal activity and deception of the British people. Which carries a maximum of life imprisonment. We can tolerate most things in society we will not tolerate the abuse and exploitation of women and children.

I THOTH gave you no permission to harm my grandmother, my mother, my aunt, my sister, or both my daughters. And nor did any other person on this planet. And this stands true for any country colonised by the British Government.

Thoth has nothing to gain apart from justice and truth for both his daughters Chelsea and Cheyenne who are no longer with him Chelsea dead, Cheyenne mysteriously vanished. Thoth aims to better help humanity’s children by protecting their welfare by speaking out and re-educating parents with the truths and cautions soon to follow.

Lies are wrong, and truth must always be upheld and respected with high regard. I understand Thoth seeks no followers he hopes for me to share this information although optional, my heart shall decide. Thoth offers wisdom for free to help our children be safe from those who claim we must trust them. I am under no obligation to accept this as the absolute and only truth, as in all things there are many sides to a story I accept this version belongs to Thoth. I will learn with an open heart and foresight to know someone’s looking out for our children. Thoth will inject humour to help lighten the intense wisdom herein Thoth’s natural nature.

I must also understand Thoth has offered many times a table gathering to discuss a peaceful resolution which the Government has refused and continued to damage Thoth financially with the aid of others helping them in secret to try silence him. I also note Thoth stood up alone as one man outside City Hall London June 2019 defending our children where he lived on the streets speaking the truth. A month later, after no help or assistance, he retired. The government took offence and secretly financially destroyed his world until he had nothing left who even struggled to eat and left England.

https://www.iamthoth.com

#childrenmatter #govcorruption

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 6 years ago

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Okay so the Lizard stuff in ASM v5 #2 really bugged me as I stated when the issue came out, and it has continued to bug me a lot since then, but I did take a step back to consider some things and went so far as to refresh my memory of Shed, No Turning Back and every Lizard appearance story since then (all of which bar one, were written by Slott) to give myself perspective. I also re-read ‘The Child Within’ by DeMatteis and Buscema and skimmed ‘the Death of Vermin’ also by DeMatteis and Buscema because I felt they were relevant to the topic at hand.

So I have SOMEWHAT changed my mind on my initial reactions to the Lizard stuff from ASM v5 #2, partially because I got some perspective and partially because I went through the painful process of returning to those previously mentioned Lizard stories (of which I will begrudgingly admit ‘No Turning Back’ by Slott...isn’t that bad, I know no one was more shocked than me).

So my beef was how nonchalant Peter and everyone else was over the Lizard teaching at ESU and also how chill Connors himself was. I wasn’t going to just go by the logic of ‘well they were written that way before under Slott so it’s consistent’ because Slott of course was notoriously bad at characterization. Case in point Spider-Man 100% made a joke/casual comment about the Lizard eating people in Clone Conspiracy #3 as he did in ASM v5 #2.

This was to me, and I 100% stand by this, totally out of character in both instances because...he’s joking about cannibalism and subtextually joking about the cannibalism of an innocent child, an innocent child whom he knew personally .*

Which is a great big egregious NO in your chyaracterization of Peter Parker. I despise ‘Shed’ passionately but whatever else you want to say about it, Spidey’s abject horror of Billy’s death in that story was totally true to his character and an important part of that story, that story itself (however anyone wants to feel about it) being an important story in the history of the Lizard. I feel about ‘Shed’ the same kind of way I feel about the Clone Saga (except I like parts of the Clone Saga). Maybe you don’t like it, maybe it was bad for the characters, but it’s so important to their histories you can’t just ignore it.

Having Peter joke about the Lizard an cannibalism is very much ignoring the single most infamous part of the most well known Lizard story ever (besides his debut issue and Torment by McFarlane). It would be akin to Spider-Man ignoring the fact that he believed himself to be a clone or in fact being insensitive to someone because they were a clone (which he was to Kaine actually in Spider-Island).

In ‘the Child Within’ Spider-Man also showed horror and disgust over the fact that Edward Whelan/Vermin, had also literally eaten people.

If Spider-Man is going to show horror and disgust over someone he doesn’t know literally eating other people he doesn’t know, why would he ever joke about someone he does know personally (Curt Connors) eating someone else he knows personally (Billy, a child he’s tried to protect multiple times)?

Answer: this was a moment where Spencer did I am afraid drop the ball badly. But you know...happens to the best writers. Let’s not sit here and pretend Stan Lee himself didn’t make major screw ups. Hell J.M. DeMatteis and Roger Stern, two of the greatest Spider-Man writers ever, made missteps. Heck we’re talking about ‘the Child Within’, that’s a story where I think DeMatteis made a big mistake in his characterization of Spider-Man himself, one that cuts to the heart of the character in a way bigger way than this moment from Spencer. He’s still one of the elite Spider-Man writers though and still (with DeFalco) my fav ever.

I have however changed my mind on the matter of Connors himself being so chill with his life situation and with the wider ESU staff and student body and the idea of Spider-Man himself accepting Connors.

So I said I wasn’t going to just blithely run by the logic of ‘well this is what it was like under Slott so it’s consistent’, but it is important to remember Connors accepted his own guilt in Slott’s run and didn’t try to shy away from imprisonment despite having the option to. He was however, even before Clone Conspiracy, not the kind of broken man you’d imagine anybody who’s child was so horrifically murdered (by their own hands...let alone own mouth) would be like.

After Clone Conspiracy this could ARGUABLY make sense though. Connors as man who lost everything important to him, his arm, his faith in humankind (see Spider-Man Unlimited #19), his home, his career, his humanity and his family (mostly all due to the same thing, being the Lizard) could very well cling to any given opportunity to in some shape or form reclaim his family and then by extension everything else.

This is why I think, like so many people in Clone Conspiracy, he embraced what was clearly just a new cloning process as a form of resurrection. He was so desperate for Billy and Martha to be alive again and for them to be a family that he either didn’t question it or pushed aside the rationale conclusion that these were merely clones not the genuine articles.

So in having them back it in a sense allowed him to cope with, heal from, move on from, or do whatever psychologically to NOT be a broken man over eating his own son. To him, even though it’s not actually the case, his greatest sin has been undone and he’s even had a hand in ‘making it right’ because he was the one who figured out how to stabilize their conditions and prevent them from dying at the end of Clone Conspiracy.

In making them Lizard people like him (although that already happened to Billy anyway, but nevermind) it equally mighty have alleviated the fact that he was himself trapped in the body of an inhuman monster. He had his family back and bonus, now they were like him, now he no longer needed to worry about hurting them when he transformed both because he the human was in control but also they were fellow reptiles now. He wasn’t the man with the monster inside him who might destroy his family, they were all monsters together now.

Had he compromised his wife and son’s humanity to get there? Sure but they were alive and together and that desire within Connors was possibly so strong that he essentially wilfully denied that he’d turned them into monsters. I am loathe to give Slott credit for this and I might be overextrapolating but this could very well be why in Clone Conspiracy Omega when Lizard Zombie Billy is eating his plate and Lizard Zombie Martha is struggling to talk beyond a grunt whilst pouring water all over the table Connors is just nonchalant and content. He’s in denial because he is so desperate for his family to be back in any form. Potentially he might also be thinking he could get out a more permanent cure for all of them later.

From there the fact that he has his arm back, has the chance at a career and public opinion is more favourable towards him ever since he helped Mayor Jameson back in Superior (likely a contributor to the job he got at ESU) from his warped desperate perspective he’s gotten back a lot of the stuff that he lost. He might even enjoy the power of being the Lizard whilst still being in control (in ASM #43 he DID suggest that the Lizard could defeat the Rhino). Even if that wasn’t the case with the inhibitor chip enables him to switch back and forth anyway.

This I think is the most logical explanation for why Connors in more recent stories hasn’t been the broken man he should have been in the wake of ‘Shed’.** You could also argue that he is forgiving himself somewhat because ‘the Lizard did it not me’, although I find this less believable.

Regarding the ESU staff and students, they seem chilled out with him but equally I must now admit we don’t hear THAT much from them in the issue anyway so for all we know they’re just getting on with the situation and not saying or doing anything to express their potential horror and discomfort over being in the same room as a cannibal. Plus he did state he hadn’t been in Lizard form the whole time, just for the sake of that experiment on that day.

If Mayor Jameson was forgiving of him, if the authorites gave him a second chance, if they gave Vermin/Edward Whelan a second chance and he seems like a nice guy I guess it stands to reason that college students, who tend to be on the more Liberal and accepting side of life (not dissing that just and observation) would probably give him a shot, especially if cannibalism isn’t brought up much or if they didn’t know about that. Also realistically you’d imagine in the Marvel Universe greater emphasis and efforts would be made from the student body of a NYC based university to be respectful towards mutants and that likely would extend to mutates like Curt Connors. That’d just be a reflection I think of how a lot of modern colleges act, although there was an anti-mutant sentiment in some old ESU Spidey stories IIRC.

Finally we come to Spider-Man himself being so forgiving towards Curt Connors. I stand by how OOC it was for Peter to make a joke about Connors history with cannibalism but having refreshed my memory of all the above mentioned stories I am big enough to admit that I was somewhat mistaken and wasn’t thinking things through.

I think I was letting the elephant that was Shed blind me to the character’s individual and shared histories together and equally my disdain of Slott’s run led to me not revisiting his stories much, thus certain details of them slip my mind moreso than with yarns I like (e.g. the JMS run).

Again, I didn’t want to approach this topic with the mentality of ‘Well it was like this under Slott so it’s consistent so it’s okay’, because again Slott’s characterization was notorious. HOWEVER even a broken clock is right twice a day and in his run Spider-Man clearly (mostly) demonstrated an attitude that Connors was not himself to be blamed for the actions of the Lizard and he demonstrated a certain forgiving attitude towards him too. In ASM #699 the Peter inside Doc Ock’s dying body even wants to free the Lizard, though he wonders if this is due dying affecting his thinking.

This is consistent with Spidey’s attitude towards Connors/the Lizard going right back to the Silver Age. But I thought you know...infanticide and cannibalism are different ball games, would Spidey extend the ‘Connors is not to blame for the Lizard’s actions’ mentality to something like that?

That’s why I read ‘the Child Within’ and ‘The Death of Vermin’. A human being who was turned into a half human/half animal monster as a manifestation of internal psychological issues who also engaged in violence and cannibalism? Obvious grounds for comparison and as a bonus Vermin’s character was created and defined by DeMatteis, who is one of Spencer’s biggest influences on Spider-Man.

So in reading those stories, Spidey does At FIRST take a merciless attitude towards Vermin, precisely due to his cannibalism, but it’s also implied it’s due to the association of Vermin and his trauma over being buried alive as well as one of Vermin’s abilities just bringing out darker, unpleasant impulses in those around him; psychic poison as it’s called.

However as both stories clearly demonstrate, at the end of the day Peter does pity Vermin, doesn’t regard him as a monster but as a victim of both Baron Zemo and his own mental illnesses. In ASM #403 (again by DeMatteis) when Edward Whelan is transformed back into Vermin Spider-Man expresses dismay because he’d come so far.

So actually yeah Spider-Man would totally forgive Connors, totally embrace working with him and be sympathetic towards him. He just wouldn’t have joked about Billy and I hope desperately that we WILL bring up the fate of the Connors family later since last Peter checked they would’ve died in Clone Conspiracy.

However my reading actually uncovered a few other problems and inconsistencies. The biggest ones being that Peter is shocked and scared in ASM v5 #2 that the Lizard is anything other than Connors in control considering that last he checked that was the Lizard’s status quo. Even if you argue that Peter doesn’t have the memories of the Peter who died in Otto’s body back in ASM #700 (who first learned Connors was in control of the Lizard’s body) he clearly knew that Connors was in control back in Clone Conspiracy, Connors outright told him that. So...why is he reacting like he doesn’t know that?

Again, it seems like Spencer dropped the ball here. The scene would’ve worked fine in like the default setting for the Lizard/Connors from the old pre-Shed days but it doesn’t line up with very recent stories, Clone Conspiracy was after all as recent as 2017 and a major event.

In the same vain it doesn’t really make sense for the inhibitor chip to be a plot device in this story because again, the Lizard’s persona was ‘killed’ back in No Turning Back. Connors had been in control of the Lizard’s body for YEARS (in-universe and in the real world) by the time we got to ASm v5 #2 so why is the story and Connors acting like he’s got this new gadget to enforce control of the Lizard body and prevent him from changing?

Not to mention how did the authorities get a hold of him in the first place, wasn’t he on the run last we saw him.***

Again, it’s something that’d make total sense at almost any point in the Lizard’s history before 2009, but it doesn’t jive with what we’ve seen most recently.

Which if you wanna go in this direction I support that, I infinitely think that’s better for the character than the band aid Slott had tried to put over Shed (valiant effort though it was, I begrudgingly give him that) but like...you gotta explain this stuff. This is the entire status quo for a supporting character who’s been around since the Silver Age arbitrarily changing in very noticeable ways with little-no on the page implications as to how.

I hope Spencer addresses this stuff in the future even though my initial problems barring one no longer bug me.

*ASM #365 Peter and MJ attended Billy Connors’ birthday party. This isn’t a small obscure thing to overlook because ASM #365 was one of (arguably the main) story celebrating Spider-Man’s 30th anniversary, complete with a Master Planner homage. The Parker/Connors family friendship appeared in other stories both before and after that issue too so every writer should be aware Spidey knows Billy somewhat personally.

**As for why he didn’t seem like....WAY more upset prior to Clone Conspiracy I think you could even explain that one away as him knowing intellectually that the Lizard killed his son but it was at the moment that the Lizard struck the killing blow that Connors ‘died’ as it were. His thought captions actually back this up in Shed as they literally rip in half. So although Connors KNOWS he/the Lizard killed Billy he might not have remembered or ever actually seen or experienced it himself.

Like he blacked out just as it was happening, meaning he wouldn’t retain anything in his memories of the experience to actually traumatise him. He might not even know that the Lizard literally ate his son, just that he killed him in general.

If you go with this idea then him being upset and feeling he deserves to be punished as we saw in No Turning Back, ASM #699, No Escape (from Superior) and a few other appearances prior to Clone Conspiracy makes more sense. He is obviously upset, he is obviously devastated but he just isn’t broken. Not that Slott or anyone communicated that very well, but they also didn’t make him seem like he definitely WASN’T that either, he just didn’t talk much except to admit he was punishing himself or to save Jameson’s life.

***Also Peter in No Turning Back claims that really it was Curt Connors who was the evil behind the Lizard all along. Let’s ignore ‘A Lizard’s Tale’, that horrible Paul Jenkins Lizard story which claimed Connors had always been in control. This line of dialogue from Slott doesn’t really make sense however you want to interpret it. If you interpret it as Spidey saying the Lizard was a manifestation of Connors’ inner negativity it doesn’t make sense because...he already knew that from Spider-Man Unlimited #19. But if you interpret it as Connors was actually himself at fault for the Lizard’s actions the whole time (including Billy’s murder) it also makes no sense because Spider-Man totally knows there is a Jekyll/Hyde situation going on there.

#Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Curt Connors #Lizard #the Lizard #Nick Spencer #Vermin #Edward Whelan #J.M. DeMatteis #Dan Slott

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neoraven · 7 years ago

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September’s TV Premieres - Early, Cable Edition

Here is the first half of my September TV Premiere list and preview. It runs from the 1st through the 15th. These are all cable or online shows, with one network exception. In the second part, it's all network shows, with one cable/online exception. This is a coincidence! But I'm still gonna call this the cable preview I suppose.

There are way more series premiering, but I'm only listing the ones that I want to. Anything on here I'm at about 50% or greater likely to watch at least some of. I put little tag ratings on them because I felt like it. Here they are from lowest interest to highest interest -

[LATER] - I'm probably way behind on this show and will catch up at some point. [MAYBE] - Either behind or on the fence. [PROBABLY] - I want to watch this show. [ABSOLUTELY] - I NEED to watch this show.

9/1 Narcos s3 (NFX) [LATER] I watched over half of season one, and generally enjoyed it. I just got a little tired of the similar cops and crime stuff and voiceovers. But I am curious where it goes, and could watch this and catch up more spread out.

9/5 American Horror Story s7 (FX) [MAYBE] I've only seen a couple random episodes of the whole show, but I have a mild interest in dropping into this scattershot season covering "cults", the election, and Lena Dunham attempting to murder Andy Warhol.

9/6 You're The Worst s4 (FX) [MAYBE] Before season three of this great show, I started catching up really fast. Despite a late start, I got current midway through, about the time of the much-talked-about PTSD episode featuring Edgar. For whatever reason, that buzz made me put the episode on a pedestal and stall out watching it. I still love it and should watch it again.

9/8 Bojack Horseman s4 (NFX) [ABSOLUTELY] Wild horses couldn't drag me away from watching this show. Very distinct possibility that I finish it in the first 24 hours.

One Mississippi (AMZ) [LATER] I haven't seen season one, but I've heard a lot of good things and always been a fan of Tig Notaro.

9/10 The Orville (FOX) [PROBABLY] My loathing for Seth McFarlane knows no bounds, but there's a distinct possibility this is a better Star Trek than Star Trek.

The Deuce (HBO) [ABSOLUTELY] You had me at "new David Simon show", but it's also written with one of his best true crime partners. James Franco stars as twin porn gangsters (Fargo and Ewan McGregor eat your heart out), and Michelle McLaren directs a couple episodes. This should be good.

9/11 Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories s2 (AS) [LATER] I haven't seen any of this show before, but I'm just including this since I generally dig Tim and Eric and will watch this at some point.

9/12 The Mindy Project s6 (HULU) [LATER] Sorry, HULU, but I've never seen an episode of this yet. I love Mindy Kaling, and should enjoy this. But it's just always been pushed to later. I'm mentioning it here since this is the final season.

9/13 Broad City s4 (COM) [MAYBE] Season 3 lost me with the Hillary episode, and it's been too painful to go back and finish the season. But this show is really funny, and I am optimistic they can Make Broad City Great Again.

South Park s21 (COM) [NO] Just including this because holy shit, this garbage fire has been raging for twenty one seasons.

9/14 Better Things s2 (FX) [MAYBE] I watched about half of season one before it got lost in the shuffle. This is a really fantastic show, though. Pamela Adlon deserves better than being Louie's manic pixie dream girl.

9/15 American Vandal (NFX) [PROBABLY] It's always nice to see Netflix isn't afraid to make fun of itself. This is some kind of parody of the true crime genre that has flourished on Netflix in titles like Making A Murderer and The Keepers. We'll see if it can stretch out for an entire season!

9/17 Vice Principals s2 (HBO) [ABSOLUTELY] This was one of the bizarre hidden gems of last year. Walton Goggins was amazing, and the Bill Murray cameo helped, too. There are valid reasons to steer clear of this - Danny McBride's shtick can wear thin and there are uncomfortable racial underpinnings to most of the plot - but there's also some really great stuff here. The brassy, high school band score definitely stands out. And Shea Wiggins is also great as a straight man to McBride.

#television #netflix #vice principals #the orville #broad city #bojack horseman

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plug2game-blog · 6 years ago

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3 Of 2018's Most Disappointing Games

2018 had it's share of frustrating games.Credit: Geralt/Pixabay How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. How can you dissatisfy me? More methods than I can count. Here are three prominent titles from 2018 that illustrate different ways video games can disappoint.'Fallout 76'Credit: Bethesda Softworks SHORT ARTICLE CONTINUES AFTER AD Fallout 76 I shrugged and believed"pass"when Fallout 76 was initially announced as a multiplayer survival video game with PvP. I enjoy survival games, but being harassed by PvP when I'm trying

to create and maintain a livable facilities in a

hostile environment doesn't intrigue me. My interest selected up when Bethesda exposed the innovative method Fallout 76 prepared to deal with griefers. I began to think the game might be fun. As everyone reading this is most likely conscious, Fallout 76 has actually had an extremely rocky start. Game-breaking bugs, technical issues, crashes, video game systems that are at chances with each other, a dull eat/drink/craft gameplay loop, and a world that feels empty and soulless have led to almost consistently bad evaluations

. And then there are all the problems from gamers who aren't delighted that Fallout 76 is concentrated on cooperative multiplayer rather than the single gamer experience. While it's hard to envision a more frustrating launch for a triple-A video game from an established advancement studio, Fallout 76 was not that fantastic of a frustration for me. My interest in the video game developed late. I respected Bethesda's attempt to attempt something various within the Fallout universe and wasn't postpone by the shift from single to multiplayer.

Fallout 76 is a disappointment, but my dissatisfaction is muted since I never ever had high hopes about how Fallout would fare as a multiplayer game.' Far Cry 5 'Credit: Ubisoft Far Cry 5 Far Cry 5 is a much better game than Fallout 76 on the technical and gameplay fronts. Ubisoft has actually perfected the Far Cry experience and FC5 is the series most totally recognized entry hence far. Nevertheless, Far Cry 5 was a much higher dissatisfaction for me than Fallout 76. Bethesda tried to do something various with Fallout and failed amazingly.

Ubisoft promised something various and a lot more fascinating for Far Cry and did

n't even attempt to provide. That's

disappointing. Throughout the months leading up to Far Cry 5's release, Ubisoft brought out a relentless marketing campaign focused on how this model of Far Cry would be various. It was embeded in the United States rather than an imaginary nation . There were tips that the video game may address a few of the social and political issues that divide the country today. It didn't, but it was just mildly disappointing due to the fact that they were just tips. POST CONTINUES AFTER AD Ubisoft also made a huge deal about how Far Cry 5 was going to pay major attention to the social

and mental aspects that lead people to sign up with messianic cults and allow the cult's charismatic leader to put in a severe degree of control over their ideas and actions after they've joined. The designers pitched it, academics specializing in cult habits were sought advice from, and video game material and style was influenced by their insights into the phenomenon. At least that's what we were informed. That's not what we got. The social dislocations that can make a charming leader sound attractive were decreased to setting the game in rural America, an ugly stereotype if there

ever was one. Instead of cult psychology we got a magic drug that turns individuals into killer thugs. Instead of a close-knit population trying to deal with the rise of an unsafe cult from within their midst we got a" Resistance"of killer thugs eager to slaughter their previous next-door neighbors, loved ones members. Ubisoft's focus on how Far Cry 5 would present an educated look at messianic cults and charming leaders was deceptive and duplicitous. If you like Far Cry, that might not matter since FC5 is another reskinned

Far Cry video game. If, like me, you have actually burnt out of the Far Cry formula and the ad campaign gave you high hopes for something more nuanced and interesting, Far Cry 5 was a fantastic frustration. 'Red Dead Redemption II'Credit: Rockstar Games SHORT ARTICLE CONTINUES AFTER AD Red Dead Redemption 2 This one injures. I enjoyed Red Dead Redemption and still believe it is among the very best games I have actually ever played. I found its story moving and compelling. John Marston is one of the most engaging characters I have actually stumbled upon in a video game.

The shared destination between Marston and Bonnie McFarlane in the early game was managed with a level of level of sensitivity, depth and restraint that is unusual in any game, not to mention one from Rockstar. Daren Bader

's dazzling art instructions is so evocative of the American desert Southwest that I found myself with a bottle of water by my side since playing made me thirsty. I have actually been looking forward to RDR2 from the moment I set the controller down for the last time in RDR1 8 years ago. Red Dead Redemption 2 has so much that made the first game excellent. The story is fantastic, the voice performing is great, the chance to see

what occurred to Marston before the occasions of RDR1 is

excellent. RDR2's graphics are beyond great,

particularly when used an Xbox One X which renders the entire game in native 4K. RDR2 has whatever I hoped it would have and more. I should love this video game however rather it's been a squashing disappointment for one simple factor. It's not enjoyable to play. Practically every fundamental video game mechanic is grindingly tiresome in Red Dead Redemption 2. The basic act of getting from here to there t a k e s f o r e v e r whether you're on foot or horseback. The UI is so clunky and awkward it seems like it was created by people who 'd never played a console video game. Simply playing the game demands a consistent attention to fiddly triviality that bores beyond belief. Get a hairstyle. Trim your beard. Take a bath and wash your clothing. Clean your weapons, oil your weapons. Feed your horse, brush your horse, pat your horse. Don't consume that, you'll get

fat. You're too skinny, eat some more. Use a coat, it's cold outside. Now it's too hot, you're overdressed. All this picky activity is protected, or at least discussed, in regards to RDR2's apparently boosted degree of"realism" which is ridiculous in a game with a magic hat that returns to your stock no matter where you leave it.

I keep trying to enjoy Red Dead Redemption 2, however its awkward and laborious gameplay keeps obstructing. Perhaps a day will come when there's a prolonged scarcity of games that are enjoyable and playing RDR2 will not appear like such a task. Today's not that day. Today Red Dead Redemption 2is a bitter frustration. SHORT ARTICLE CONTINUES AFTER AD There's a theme in this brochure of frustrating video games. The more you care, the higher the capacity for frustration. Objectively, Fallout 76's gross failures are even more major than Red Dead Redemption 2's tedious gameplay, yet F76 was a moderate dissatisfaction and RDR2 broke my heart. Video video games resemble very important things in life in that regard. Caring deeply opens you up to squashing frustration. I would not have it any other method. This year wasn't all frustration and problem. Here are the games I took pleasure in one of the most in 2018.

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shugademus-fbandt · 7 years ago

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houellebecq - submission (total shite) muriel spark - driver’s seat

podcasts, including:

transfert histoire d’un corps se reconnaître enfin l’enfant du bout du monde

all in the mind

arts & ideas: *philip roth in conversation *michael ignatieff and central europe ingmar bergmann wild strawberries burns, the radicall frankenstein and ai now counterculture and protest the in between landmark: the odyssey the invention of the circus ring rethinking tradition russai: totalitarianism and punishment man with a movie camera forgotten authors, the prisoner salman rushdie & uncertainty importance of networks washing in public unfinished art and literature sleep and insomnia sentimentality happiness sea journeys and voyages opium and creativity matthew arnold’s culture and creativity tom mccarthy and satirical indexes narcisissism rd lang ecstasy (medieval) tom philips japan and korea/hokusai laurent binet, the rise of the blockchain breaking free: martin luther smell; a history of dentistry leaves of grass education slow and fast killing time in imperial japan the time of your life the speed of revolution how short is a short story politics fast and slow, harriet harman monks models and medieval time fast faster fastest sleep - freedom to think play in urban design borders: on the ground, on the map, in the mind victorian bodies, citizens of everywhere the art of running elites energy and landscape capability brown the desert: geoff dyer, laurence scott, georgia okeefe walter benjamin universities: therapy or learning tale of gengi/algorithims germany/neil mcgregor concrete: marina lewycka et al sicily slavoj zizek tarkovsky’s stalker syrian buildings, georgian literature bryan mcgee

in our time arabian nights yeats and irish politics the silk road the east india company the british empire

lexicon valley getting to yes no-uh what’s the deal with 11

living with the gods

saturday review

start the week: who governs britain heart of darkness conrad and orwell the power and beauty of objects living with the gods hard work and sweet slumber pamuk competition myths self: fact and fiction india’s rise? age of spectacle paul auster american dream build that wall: borders and crossings play and creativity maps music manuscripts popular protest and patriotism island mentality loneliness and inner voices existentialism and ways of seeing is faster better scotland language and reinvention cultural lifespans france special social class and cultural capital architecture and power life in suburbia organizing the mind arabian nights al kennedy on matters of the heart france’s arab empire landscape and community digital natives dystopian future aleksandr hemon scotland -rankin and gray modernism with ali smith and kevin jackson salman rushdie werner herzog

life scientific

books and authors george saunders robert mcfarlane gg marquez

the essay

the start

in our time highland clearances hamlet beethoven moby dick thebes picts purgatory egyptian book of the dead gin craze garibaldi and the risorgimento baltic crusades animal farms epic og gilgamesh zend’s paradoxes songs of innocence and of experience gettysburg address 1816 sikh empire bedlam dutch east india company circadian rhythms empire of mali holbein at the tudor court alexander the great utilitarianism prester john lancashire cotton famine sappho the eunuch wealth of nations ashoka the great truth kafka’s the trial aesop haitian révolution caesar mrs dalloway hildegaard of bingen philosophy of solitude spartacus hindu ideas of creation microscope book of common prayer invention of radio prophecy levi strauss montaigne sakoku chekhov hardian’s wall joyce’s ulysses trojan war marco polo candide early geology measurement of time virtuous and de architectura kama sutra moon ming voyages david hume shinto minoan civilisation anatomy of melancholy bhagavad gita bannockburn medieval university mexican revolution random and pseudorandom consequences of the industrial revolution

resound

breakin’bread

guardian books aleksandr hemon’s bees rushdie toibin in conversation naomi klein islands and literature colin thubron and aggleton on memory amos oz on his new novel al kennedy, self, parson - londn walking in cities jim crace on melody short stories: my dream of flying to wake island (ballard) homage to switzerland (hemingway) my oedipus complex (frank oconnor) doll’s house (mansfield) fat (carver) the jungle (bowen) the beauties (chekhov) kitchen child (carter) conversation with my father (paley) extra (li) night driver (calvino)

long reads: why we should bulldoze business schools spectacular power of big lens fake it till you make it (instagram) post-work the diabolical genius of the baby advice industry how the sandwich consumed britain a tale of decay from unboxing to though showers how to sell a country orbiting jupiter why do we feel so guilty all the time the island for sale facebook’s war on free will how a tax haven is leading the race to privatize space trojan horse (islamic plot) neoliberalism, the idea that swallowed the world the school beneath the wave (japan) why we fell for clean eating what is a black professor in the us allowed to say unlearning the myth of american innocence is the world really better than ever the real cost of regeneration globalisation klein: how power profits from disaster the age of banter how the mod’s plan to privatize military housing ended in disaster serota and tate a reckoning for our species (anthropocene) rise of the machines accelerationism bish bash bosh - phyllida barlow rich hippies and developers went to war over instagram’s favorite beach the race to build the world’s first sex robot god in the machine into the woods: ho one man survived one in the wilderness for 27 years london bridge is down how technology gets us hooked ppe: the oxford degree that runs britain killer, kleptocrat, genius, spy (putin) total recall: the people who never forget wiley: the enigmatic godfather of grime the spy who couldn’t spell who killed the great british curry house is this what the west is really like?

ny fiction borges - book of sand coover - colonel’s daughter nelson - naked ladies williams - stuff tower - leopard july - roy spivey hasard - in these islands updike - twin beds in rome eugenides - baster calvino - love far from home cheever - five-forty-eight millhauser - a visit alexie - the toughest indian in the world gaitskill - a dream of men powers - a losing game berger - woven, sir williams - chicken hill means - the spot friel - the saucer of larks singer - the cafeteria davis - then we’ll set it right paley - my father addresses me on the facts of old age tc boyle - chicxulub brodkey - dumbness is everything couvre - going for a beer means - tree line, kansas, 1934 barthelme - chablis drury - accident at the sugar beet spark - ormolu clock nabokov - pnin polansky - leg wolff - the night in question ozick - the shawl frame - prizes bartheleme - game / school oz - the king of norway mcguane - ice johnson - work moore - paper losses calvino - the daughter’s of the moon brodkey - state of grace bolano - clara borges -shakespeare’s memory west - the lesson colwin - mr park price - his final mother schulz - father’s last escape vaughn - able baker charlie dog ishiguro - a village after dark barthleme - concerne the bodyguard dybek - paper lantern munro - axis updike - a&P mcguane - cowboy bolano - gomez palacio Cheever - swimmer millhauser - in the reign of hard iv barthleme - indian uprising johnson - two men delillo - baader-meinhof mccullerss - the jockey nabokov - my russian education george saunders - adams taylor - porte-cohere johnson - emergncy singer - disguised salter - last night jackson - the lottery malamud - a summer’s reading nabokov - symbols and signs moore - dance in america borges - the gospel according to mark barthelme - i bought a little city

ny writer’s voice vapnyar - waiting for the miracle klemmen - choking victim john l’heureux - three short moments in a long life yu - fable lerner - polish rider boyle - fugitive williams - stuff ferris - abandonment mcguane - papaya boule - are we not men couvre - the hanging of the schoolmarm li - on the street where you live batman - constructed worlds gilbert - underground sittenfeld - the prairie wife lodato - melville - volume 1 sharma - you are happy vapnyar- deaf and blind means - two rumination on a homeless brother li - a small flame alexie - clean, cleaner, cleanest mackin - crossing the river no name green well - an evening out marcus - blueprints for st louis bynum - likes gilbert - sightseers krauss - seeing ershadi orneill - poltroon husband coover - treatments

thinking allowed tipping points conspiracy theories politics of alcohol/cooperation home at riba high life and row life raoul moat hebden brige/neighbours urban protest builders and musicians odd couples, student drinking archaeology of homelessness; residential care revisited stan cohen drugs for life; subcultural identity gang labour in uk; industrial ruination thrift chic;thatcherism middle class enclaves and escapes stammering and identity; land of too much long hours work culture; empty labour scottish nationalism and identity; austerity food work in hospital words; the bangladesh india border michel foucault benjamin goffman noodle narratives; british men dancing capoeira work and consumption; neoliberal economics tooth loss; communist utopia in a spanish village prostitution in the community; drinking and moderation the great indoors generationaml divide; webcam kissing; the british hitman islamophonia and anti semitism masculinity and betting shops; new biological relatives and kinship late modern- hipsters history of surfing; coffee shops and idleness dalit parties and democratization in tamil nadu; history of the elevator creative britain;; sexology port cities; middle class alcohol use rituals at xmas harvard business school - construction of pain citizenship ceremonies; family ties andgenertic poverty in britain; unemployment as a choice the precariat the color black; mixed race people cross-class marriage; the social history of woman-only train carriages being single; modern romance ambivalent atheism zoos explored; funeral arranging everyday life; cafe society land ownership; home at work rituals end of careers; humour at work modern slavery; lunch boxes creative economy; grudge spending consumerism; work life balance weather forecasting; young people and politics imagining utopias refusing adulthood; how young people feel about being poor small towns; patient rescue and resuscitation éviction; self build happiness and govt; good parenting the flaneur - walking the city pierre bourdieu airport security shyness; names political polarization rentier capitalism house of commons hoods; construction blacklist evangelicals; troubled families foie gras and the politics of taste success and luck; cosmopolitanism and private education age of noise; british drinking health divides; counting global health brave new world of virtual work vertical cities; india’s property boom terrorism; hotlines squatting teen bedrooms elite education insuring against disasters russian prison visitor; prison boundaries meaning of the face fashion and class heritage and preservation male infertility the secret world of hair management jargon exhaustion: history of weariness restaurant: taste of class affluence politics and emotion new economy housing crisis - squatting in amsterdam

this american life quitting anger and forgiveness media fringe faustian bargains simulated worlds bob dole obsession cruelty of children factions harold running after antelope one of us stuck in the wrong decade other people’s mail who’s canadian business of death small towns delivery fire first day mapping trail of tears road trip! niagara barbara book that changed your life family business pimp anthropology 24 at the golden apple the fix is in american’s in paris million bubbles mob mentality kids as adults house on loon lake rashomon kid logic hitler’s yacht act v high speed chase allure of the mean friend fake science image makers (library) ghost of bobby dunbar switched at birth plattekill plaza number one party school stories pitched by our parents thugs what happened at dos erros 129 cars nummi harper school dr filmer and mr hyde my undesirable talent in defense of ignorance fear and loathing in homer and rockville

world book club

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eddiejpoplar · 7 years ago

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2017 SEMA Show Hits, Misses, and, Revelations

LAS VEGAS, Nevada—SEMA is always good for sporting unusual takes on automobiles. In the halls of the Las Vegas Convention Center, you’ll walk countless alleyways and corridors, pushing past the throngs of seemingly endless tuners from around the world, your mouth agape from the ridiculously modified machines that feel as if they sprout from Hollywood director Tim Burton’s nightmarish imagination.

However, amongst the lifted “bro-trucks” that’ll never see an ounce of mud, the slammed supercars that’d rip off the entire underside of the car if they ever encountered a leaf, and the reappearance of Under Glo, there are a host of classics, JDM imports, German-luxury, and supercars that are tastefully composed.

Here’s what we thought was rad, head scratching, and downright bad.

Miss: Hennessey debuting a 1:1 plastic Venom F5

Hennessey’s vision for the 1,600 horsepower, 300 mph Venom F5 is purely a theory. The car the brand debuted at SEMA was a plastic toy that just merely resembled what the F5 is supposed to look like. It did not run. There was no interior and the company’s claim that Bugatti and Koenigsegg haven’t chased Hennessey’s Venom GT top speed record because those cars can’t hit it is asinine. It’s a fake car, just like fake news.

–Jonathon Klein

The Venom F5 should’ve been called a concept car as it’s writing a $1.6 million dollar check it might not cash, yet. It’s a lot of hype, not a lot of hypercar. The design looks great, but at this point, it’s more of an art project than a work of engineering.

—Billy Rehbock

Hit: Toyota’s Time-Attack Grocery Getter

It has 600 horsepower, 550 lb-ft of torque, 23psi of boost, and a gold-plated engine bay. What’s not to love about a time-attack C-HR CUV? It looks the business, the footage of it driving around the track is too-legit-to-quit, and it’s likely the only CUV I’d buy as it’s less of a grocery-getter and more of a beast of the green hell.

–B.R.

Hit: A mullet gone vegan

The 4th generation Camaro is the unloved step-child of the Camaro lineup. It’s heavy, cumbersome, and as rigid as a boiled piece of lasagna. Add an engine lineup that barely made enough power to get it over a small hill, and you quickly understand why no one mods them. Thankfully, someone did and this monster Optima Ultimate Street Car Challenge entry is my perfect piece of ‘80’s hair metal. I want it. I need to find the person that owns it and offer them a Billy Ray Cyrus album in trade.

—JK

Hit: Finding forbidden fruit

We’ve missed the Ranger. It’s been gone for too long. Now we know Ford’s bringing it back to the U.S. and spy shots of the Ranger Raptor have me thirsting for my go in the mid-size pre-runner. Out of the blue, a wild Ranger appeared as we walked the convention floor. It was lovely and made me even more ready for when Ford finally brings the new Ranger to our shores.

–B.R.

Miss: A Camaro by another name

Why Trans-Am’ing a Camaro is still a thing, I cannot fathom. For the uninitiated, Trans-Am Depot takes a brand new Camaro, reshells it with a bad interpretation of an original Trans-Am, and sells them for around $75,000 each. It doesn’t look good and I can’t believe people are still buying them.

—J.K.

Miss: Weaponized Jeeps. You’re not a Navy Seal.

“It’s just a Jeep thing, you wouldn’t get” is an excuse that doesn’t cut it when a Jeep has a .50 caliber sniper rifle atop its roof. One particular offender had two fake mini-guns coming out of its hood rigged up to its turbos. It’s currently my computer’s background to remind me to never stray from the light.

–B.R.

Hit: Let’s go camping in Mongolia

For those wishing to go off map, off-grid, and generally, very lost, you need to check out the absolutely ridiculous and gargantuan Earth Roamer XV-XD. It costs $1.5 million, its 35 feet long, and weighs about as much as an elephant. However, inside the massive overlanding truck, you get a full kitchen, full-size shower, a 10-point Bose surround sound system, and two king size beds. It will also go over any terrain you find. Lewis and Clark eat your heart out.

—J.K.

Bonus Round: What the hell were they thinking?

Look, Spawn was a great graphic novel. McFarlane is an amazing story teller and Spawn’s story is compelling. That doesn’t translate to the horrendously wrapped, Under Glo’d, chained, wide-bodied, Mustang with rims that over-hang the tires, and a yellow and green engine bay. It’s not bad in a traditional sense of bad. But bad as in, “Why god, why? Why have you forsaken my eyes? What have I done to deserve this hell?”

—J.K.

Subtlety is lost on its creators. Sometimes, this could be a good thing. But when modifications render a car undriveable, it really defeats the purpose of motorizing a vehicle in the first place. The labeling of “Spawn on the side of the car,” perfectly defines that this is a being from hell and there’s evil incarnate under its awful hood. If one car perfectly summarizes the goofiness and terribleness I’ve heard that is sometimes brought to SEMA, this is the car.

–B.R.

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger 6

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jesusvasser · 7 years ago

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2017 SEMA Show Hits, Misses, and, Revelations

Here’s what we thought was rad, head scratching, and downright bad.

Miss: Hennessey debuting a 1:1 plastic Venom F5

–Jonathon Klein

—Billy Rehbock

Hit: Toyota’s Time-Attack Grocery Getter

–B.R.

Hit: A mullet gone vegan

—JK

Hit: Finding forbidden fruit

–B.R.

Miss: A Camaro by another name

—J.K.

Miss: Weaponized Jeeps. You’re not a Navy Seal.

–B.R.

Hit: Let’s go camping in Mongolia

—J.K.

Bonus Round: What the hell were they thinking?

—J.K.

–B.R.

#IFTTT #Performance Junk WP Feed 4

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jonathanbelloblog · 7 years ago

Text

2017 SEMA Show Hits, Misses, and, Revelations

Here’s what we thought was rad, head scratching, and downright bad.

Miss: Hennessey debuting a 1:1 plastic Venom F5

–Jonathon Klein

—Billy Rehbock

Hit: Toyota’s Time-Attack Grocery Getter

–B.R.

Hit: A mullet gone vegan

—JK

Hit: Finding forbidden fruit

–B.R.

Miss: A Camaro by another name

—J.K.

Miss: Weaponized Jeeps. You’re not a Navy Seal.

–B.R.

Hit: Let’s go camping in Mongolia

—J.K.

Bonus Round: What the hell were they thinking?

—J.K.

–B.R.

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger Feed 4

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