#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you
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gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach
#I need to do some sort of physical activity and that always felt good#but it has always been deadname and women's locker room#then big hiatus from my part#and now I'm back again. again with the deadname and women's locker room#but it feels so wrong#and today I felt like shit because there was people in the locker room#but what is the solution?#to come out ?#they'll laugh.#I don't pass#I never pass#I think people at university don't misgender me only because they're kind#but I don't pass#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you#but we all know they'll never not see the hips the chest the face the high pitched voice#and I have been stuck here since forever#everyone I know. EVERYONE#is now either on t or can pass#even people who've idk started after I was already going to the therapist because of it#and yes everyone has their own oath and yadda yadda yadda#but why I'm stuck?#I don't understand why I can't go on.#I feel like shit#and mother is ok with it but I know she still hatesthis whole thing#I gave her time I swear#but I miss her#and I tried telling her this and she. she doesn't want to hear it#because in her mind “if you really want it you do it”#like I could pass by sheer willpower#personal
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