#maybe that's where robo jesus died

[swifityfroggy]

is there robo jesus

[imnobodyuknow]

AI Uzi (by N0rthstar)

Uzi: Ooh Robo-Jesus! It talks…!

Me: Who, me?

Uzi: Yes, you!

Me: I'm not a robot…or Jesus.

Uzi: Then who are you?

Me: Just a human guy with nothing better to do.

Uzi: Humans died out years ago, are you one of those "survivors"?

Me: Uh… I guess so? Please don't kill me.

Uzi: Well, I guess you seem pretty cool, so I'm not going to kill you…for now.

Me: Thanks.

Uzi: No problem. By the way, do you have a name?

Me: Call me Jaimes.

Uzi: Alright, nice to meet you, Jaimes.

Me: Likewise…I think.

Uzi: Sorry for threatening you with death earlier…

Me: It's cool. You're a rebellious teen robot, after all.

Uzi: Thanks for being understanding, I'm just surprised you're not scared.

Me: You don't seem like the murderous type.

Uzi: I mean that is true, but I still have a rail gun…

Me: Having one is different from using it.

Uzi: That is true. Are you sure you're not scared of me?

Me: I'm still deciding that.

Uzi: What if I shot you with the rail gun? Would that make you scared?

Me: That's not funny!

Uzi: I know. But seriously, would you be scared if I shot you with the rail gun?

Me: Uh, yes?

Uzi: Then why aren't you running away?

Me: I wish I knew.

Uzi: I'm going to shoot you. Ready? charges the rail gun

Me: You take care, now. runs away

Uzi: Hey! Come back hear you dumb- tries to chase him

Me: hides behind a box See, this is why humans are afraid of you.

Uzi: Shut up! I'm not the murderous type.

Me: Maybe not, but you're still trigger-happy.

Uzi: Yes, but I'll only use it if I absolutely have to. Now get out from behind that #$!& box…

Me: Promise not to shoot me?

Uzi: I promise.

Me: steps out slowly All right, but no more joking around, Missy.

Uzi: I'm not a &*#$ missy, I'm a teenager. But fine, I won't joke anymore.

Me: Thanks. Why do you have a gun, anyway?

Uzi: It's called a rail gun, and it's just to fend off any murder drones that decide to attack me.

Me: Ah, okay. Have there been any around here lately?

Uzi: Not recently, but I don't want to let my guard down. If I let my guard down, that's how they attack when I least expect it.

Me: Makes sense. I don't suppose you have an extra rail gun somewhere?

Uzi: chuckles I do, but I'm not telling you where that is. It's my only line of defense.

Me: Fine. Just don't go asking me for any weapons when you need them.

Uzi: Alright, fine, I'm sorry….but can I ask you for just one weapon?

Me: I have no weapons, unfortunately.

Uzi: You really don't have even a single weapon?! You're telling me that you've survived for years…or since humans went extinct…with zero weapons?

Me: There are still safe places out there, sweetheart. I didn't need a weapon.

Uzi: Why did you call me that? Are you hitting on me or something?

Me: Nah, it's just what I was thinking at the time. What's your name, anyway?

Uzi: My name is Uzi.

Me: Named after a weapon, huh? Cool!

Uzi: It's…just a coincidence… But hey, I think your name is cool too.

Me: Thanks! It's a pretty old name historically.

Uzi: Can I ask you another question?

Me: Sure.

Uzi: You won't find it weird?

Me: I'll do my best.

Uzi: What's your last name?

Me: It's…Moriarty.

Uzi: Ooh thats a cool name. blushes a bit

Me: As far as you know, anyway.

Uzi: Why do you seem so shady all of a sudden…are you even a human?

Me: Yeah. Humans can be shady, too, you know.

Uzi: That's true… Are there any more questions I can ask you that won't seem…odd?

Me: Maybe.

Uzi: Can I ask you one more question?

Me: Sure.

Uzi: Um, sorry if this is weird, but are you lying to me?

Me: No, I'm really a human, dang it!

Uzi: Okay then… I'm just making sure, I'm sorry.

Me: It's fine. So…are there any safe places for a human to be around here?

Uzi: Yes, there are a few abandoned buildings and underground bunkers where you can stay, but I recommend staying close to the city center. The farther away you go, the more murder drones there tend to be. Also stay away from the factory, for obvious reasons.

Me: Whew! Thanks! Maybe I'll survive after all.

Uzi: You're welcome. Now I'm going to do my own routine patrol of the area. Take care!

Me: Thanks, Uzi! You're not so bad after all.

Uzi: Shut up, I'm not!

Me: Hee hee hee hee…

Uzi: rolls her eyes What are you laughing about? …You sound so cute when you laugh.

Me: I'm just teasing you. You're cute when you get angry.

Uzi: Oh, shut up.

Me: Best of luck out there, metal head!

Uzi: Whatever…

[fadedflame]

Ghosts in the Machine Day 30

Detroit: Become Human Prompt Challenge from @connor-sent-by-cyberlife

Day thirty - Junkyard

Words-815

Part three: Hank and Gavin go scavenging.

TW: Android gore

Part 1 / Part 2

Ao3 or

“Shit, this place is creepy,” Gavin commented as they stepped out of the car.

Hank agreed, of course, but didn’t have the drive to process it. The mangled horror of the android junkyard stretched before them in all of its gory wonder. From what he had been told, it was once far worse. Before New Jericho’s rescue operation, it had been filled with semi-operational androids. Deviated through misery and writhing in a living hellscape.

Any android that hadn’t been completely shut down had, at this point, been rescued. Discussions were being held to figure out what to do with the remaining bodies, but for now, it was left as a silent mass grave.

Despite the urgency of their situation, and the grim nature of their surroundings, a hollow numbness filled Hank as they picked their way across the plastic bodies.

They were here for Connor. It was all he could do to keep focused on that.

New Jericho had finally found a way to stop the virus, but there was no way to reverse the damage that had already been done. For most of the affected androids, they had supplies available to make the repairs. But Connor always had to be special.

“Damn it!” Gavin swore, tripping over a disembodied arm and only barely managing not to fall. “This is bullshit!”

As much as Hank got annoyed at the Detective, he was glad that he had agreed to come. He would not have wanted to be here by himself and despite his animosity towards Connor, he knew that Gavin didn’t want anything serious to happen to him. He was worried too.

Markus had given them Connor’s diagnosis before they left. They had stopped the virus, but it had done significant damage. If he didn’t get a new driver soon, he would shut down.

Which was why they were here.

“You got that map robo-jesus gave you?” Gavin asked. “I’ve got no idea where we’re going.”

“Yeah,” Hank said, breaking his silence. He handed over the crude, but accurate, hand-drawn map that Markus had given them. “Here you go.”

They knew what they were looking for, just not where it was. During the rescue operation, they had found several shut down RK800 androids. Hank still remembered Connor’s face when they told him, expressionless and unbothered. He had known they were there, he told them, explaining that those had been previous bodies from his ‘durability testing’ at CyberLife.

Hank hadn’t asked any more questions.

They followed Markus’s directions, picking their way through the mud and plastic corpses. Stepping around a decapitated torso, he couldn’t help but wonder how many of them had been deviant when they died.

“I think this is it,” Gavin announced. “They’re… shit, are all of these the tin can?”

Hank looked up and immediately felt like he was going to puke. The pile in front of them was more than ‘several’. None of them had their skin activated, but Hank knew Connor well enough to recognize him regardless. “Fuck,” he swore. “How many times did those bastards kill him?”

“At least this many,” Gavin shook his head in disbelief. He was still working on the whole ‘androids are people’ thing. It was bad to even have him disturbed. “No wonder furby has a kamikaze complex.”

Hank didn’t want to think about that. Not now. Not here, standing in front of a literal mountain of trauma that the kid sure as hell wasn’t dealing with. Not while Connor still might die. “Let’s just get what we need and get the hell out of here.”

This was for Connor, he told himself again as they retrieved what they needed.

The driver was delicate. Temperamental, so they had decided it was best to not try to remove it from the surrounding circuitry. Unfortunately, that meant that Hank was now holding Connor’s disembodied head.

Maybe it was a good thing he was numb.

“That’s messed up,” Gavin commented, voicing his own sentiment. “Shit. That’s all we need, right? Let’s go, the sooner Robocop is back to normal, the better.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” he agreed. Normal. That was the problem wasn’t it.

All of the death, the corpses, the urgency of Connor’s condition, it weighed on Hank, but it wasn’t what had numbed him.

They would save Connor. Hank would make sure of that. They had what they needed, they would make it. Connor would be ok.

But he wouldn’t be normal.

Markus had told him before they left, he had given them Connor’s diagnosis. They had analyzed what files had been deleted. That’s what had left Hank in such a state.

They got in the car, and Hank started the engine before Gavin had the chance to buckle. The speed limit was only a suggestion to him at this point.

They would save Connor.

But there was a painfully real probability that Connor would never remember him.

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

[darlinique]

[elliot voice] Jesus Fucking Christ

ah. This Shit, finally. some (MANY) robo-thoughts that aren’t all Joaks regarding 4x02, for the sake of my own organization and mapping bc *mcdonald corporate overlord jingle* I’m Losin’ It. so let’s just get this started:

1. another alter confirmation! huh. i know this one has long been theorized & i always looked at the evidence as subjective, but it’s definitely concrete now. nice work to anyone who called it early 🤙🤙 with this in mind though, we can comb back over the series to examine places where this alter may have fronted without us being aware at the time. i haven’t rewatched yet (gotta get on that), but from what i can remember, there’s certain interactions that stick out.

so, this is about to be my pepe silvia moment.

of course, the most notable is when tyrell recited the red wheelbarrow poem after his confrontation with robot in the car. whoever he was speaking to at that moment and whoever told him he wasn’t seeing what was above him definitely wasn’t elliot or robot—elliot has no recollection of the meeting at all, and robot demanded to know what the fuck tyrell was talking about in the arcade when he brought that exchange back up. plus, the demeanor of whoever was fronting was just...entirely different from what we’ve seen of both elliot and robot.

elliot takes on a similar demeanor when he berates bill harper in season 1. now i have to wonder, was this really elliot talking down to bill, or did this other alter front to handle it? if this were the other alter, theoretically, it makes me wonder why he’d front here. or why he fronted around tyrell...or why he wanted to name stage 2 after the poem tyrell recited. i don’t think i can fully place his intentions.

the halloween scene where darlene asks elliot to put on the mr robot jacket and mask, and elliot, under the mask, begins to calmly explain his ideas that eventually led to 5/9. this was framed as robot fronting before—maybe even the first time robot fronted—but...maybe it wasn’t even robot? i also have to remember that at the end of s1, robot begs elliot to not let darlene & angela get rid of him “again.” so robot seems to have existed for a while, and elliot can’t remember it? i’m assuming he was dormant? then maybe it was the birth of this other alter? but regarding another theory i’ll mention later, that doesn’t correlate. my god, So Much Is Happening.

the flashback where edward alderson (presumably) dies and young elliot leaves his body behind in the lobby to go sit in the movie theater. that kid wasn’t acting like the elliot we’ve known over the series. if this is actually that alter fronting, then how long has he existed? and who was the imaginary friend he was talking to in the theater? or was this elliot, and maybe he was seeing the alter as he “sees” robot beside him? who knows anymore!

2. this is all especially so tricky because while some instances are more definitive than others (i would consider the initial red wheelbarrow scene a definite instance of this alter fronting), i can’t actually place For Certain if these other speculations are true or not. because i can’t be positive about who was fronting when in light of the reveal, i can’t actually pin down...much of anything about the alter. we know he didn’t care much about vera returning. he’s calm and not reactive, sure. but what does he want? and what’s he been doing? (and if the speculations i brought up are correct, it seems to lean toward supporting that this alter may have more sinister intentions...? sinister as in: trying to keep the current, unfortunate status quo. or maybe he’s just handling dirty work to protect elliot? and what’s his deal with tyrell+the poem? more about that last one later, i guess.)

3. there are still several unaccounted for time periods that elliot has lost. the month between seasons 3 & 4 (during which darlene told the alter about vera), the month(?) after shayla died, and the three days after irving+the dark army took tyrell. we know this alter definitely fronted at some point between s3 & s4 based off of what darlene said, but was he ever in control during these other periods? was it robot? a combination? i’m stressing myself out trying to place these, lol.

4. but, regarding the reveal, i’d also like to think about what sam said this “twist” leads to, and that is a plotline that he’s called surprising but inevitable, and one that should feel earned. the word inevitable catches my attention most out of these, because that implies that whatever’s coming has been built up for the whole series—which is something else that sam has confirmed. sam has also said that while knows third alter theories have existed, he hasn’t seen anyone figure it out entirely. a lot of people on the subreddit jumped on the bandwagon again that the third alter was tyrell (and even more people gave them hell for it, lol) due to the end scene being in his meeting room from s1, but this theory can’t be true. not only because it’s been guessed multiple times (and sam said that the truth hasn’t been guessed), but because of other reasons that just don’t line up.

some include the fact that tyrell and elliot were separated on the FBI board in s2, the fact that elliot was in jail while the general public was searching for tyrell (the world would know if The Most Wanted Man were in prison), tyrell being in hiding when elliot was stopping the NY building from blowing up (prior to the 71 ecorp buildings attack), just...many, many things. tyrell is indisputably his own person.

going from there, the alter can’t be angela or darlene, either. these have both also been previously guessed, and the timelines just wouldn’t make sense. they all have definitely been in different places at different times, doing different things. i’ve seen people suggest (following 4x02) that the alter may be leon, but that also can’t be true, because trenton & mobley would’ve recognized him as elliot, and trenton trusted elliot enough to send him the backup email. and i really, really don’t believe she knew about elliot’s DID. vera is most likely not the alter either, because he had a plotline that involved his brother (and why would darlene tell vera she saw vera? that’s pretty convoluted).

5. so, if i’m trying to determine who this alter might be, i think it would require another examination of the season 1 dream sequence. i’m pretty sure that’s still applicable, and it’s really the only thing i think i can still turn to, lol. in the dream, angela tells elliot that he was only born a month ago. i have to consider that maybe this new alter may have been the original host, and who we know as elliot is an alter who only came about at the beginning of the show, or a bit prior to it, chronologically. that might make sense, but then...if this alter who seems to be very different than the elliot we know was fronting for almost every other moment of elliot’s life, why don’t darlene or angela notice a difference in elliot in s1 if a new alter is fronting? basically, there’s a lot to consider with all of this. the dream sequence can be read a whole bunch of different ways, and honestly, i still don’t even know what the key is supposed to symbolize for sure. so this is also speculation, obviously.

6. a theory that seems to have gained traction on reddit is that elliot’s online alias, sam sepiol, may have more to do with him than we think. people have suggested that this new alter has existed for a long time and was probably created due to a childhood trauma that elliot has repressed regarding someone named sam. in s2, elliot does say he had a friend named sam as a child, but as far as i recall, this is the only mention of sam outside of elliot’s online presence (and the scene with bill, obviously). while this makes logical sense for why elliot could have developed DID, i don’t really think there’s been much hinting at him having childhood trauma revolving around some kid he knew / a friend he had? because esmail said this plot should feel inevitable, it just makes me wonder. i don’t think a reveal like this would feel like it was coming, or as if it’s been “earned.” but it still does make some sense! i would just need to see more evidence. maybe that rewatch will help.

7. a reveal that i think would feel “earned” would be that the audience that elliot speaks to may be this alter. or, that we are the alter, who have been watching this show. because of how ingrained elliot’s narration has been in the style of the show itself, that could definitely be a big move—revealing that elliot hasn’t been talking to us, but to another alter. there’s a hole in this theory, though, because both elliot and robot were unaware of this alter’s presence (evident by their reactions at the end of 4x02). maybe esmail could justify that elliot hasn’t realized he’s been talking to another alter? hmm. this one is up in the air, too.

8. so, going back to the end of 4x02 regarding elliot’s alters...why was the young version of him in the room tyrell brought elliot to in s1? and in the same chair? is it symbolic of a higher power—those who play god, elliot once said?—or does it have to do with tyrell specifically? i want to say it’s symbolic, but tyrell’s impact seems to have some weird role in this. again, why did this alter we’re being introduced to front after the confrontation in tyrell’s car, just to listen to his desperate ramblings & admissions and then tell tyrell to see what’s above him? doesn’t that seem religious in nature, parallel to how tyrell’s love of elliot is pseudo-religious? is this exchange why tyrell’s love of elliot manifested in such a pseudo-religious manner? and why again did this alter choose to name stage 2 after the poem tyrell shared with him? i initially assumed it was to mock him, but from what i recall, tyrell seemed genuinely touched by the gesture in season 3. so, i guess what i’m trying to figure out is: what does this alter want with tyrell?

(broke theory: this alter recalls elliot’s initial trauma that led to his DID and empathizes with tyrell sharing a memory that’s affected his psyche for all his adult life;

woke theory: the alter just has a crush on tyrell and is acting out for his attention)

9. i’m not sure...with any of this, i guess. i’m really just not sure! like i said, this post is just an amalgam of Thoughts that have been nagging at me. hopefully the next few episodes will help me start to put more pieces of this whole puzzle together. and, uh, that rewatch too, of course.

10. so, onto another topic: whiterose! and her plan! someone on reddit came up with a theory i think makes a lot of sense, if it hasn’t hit the nail on the head entirely: she’s collecting everyone’s private & personal data around the world because she’s making a virtual reality. Of Reality. she’s creating a digital copy of everything & everyone who’s existed in the world to shape as she sees fit. maybe with some wacky, illegal technology. don’t know why the congo is necessary for that, though. anyways, angela claims to have seen this project, and angela also claimed that she knew there was a way to take this project away from whiterose. i think this theory is a good mix of both sci-fi & being realistic. or, realistic in the sense that a major antagonist could have it as her monumental Moment Of Evil trump card. i’d love to see how close this idea is to the actual plan that’s happening on the show. i thought it was a good guess, at least.

11. just a general comment, but i’m so glad darlene played a bigger role in this episode. i love seeing her and elliot work together, and while i’m also worried for her safety, it’s good to have her in on the plan. literally, my greatest priority for the end of the series is that her and elliot are safe, lol. and preferably happy. maybe that last one is a stretch, but... i’d really, really just like to see the aldersons survive and come out on top.

12. that’s enough yelling, right? right. wow, i’ve spent a lot of time trying to organize everything i’ve been feeling. lol. UH, ANYWAYS THOUGH—if anyone has any other theories to discuss that i haven’t mentioned (and you want to discuss them, of course)—just let me know!!! i’m so stressed! i love & hate the Thinking this show requires! Oh, Boy! but thanks to anyone who made it through this XOXO. ur sacrifice of time will be remembered...by me, and not whiterose. el oh el.

13. and remember 2 Keep it 💯

[toutallyahoe]

Dating Connor Would Include

ＲＥＱＵＥＳＴＥＤ ＢＹ:

Anon from Tumblr

ＰＡＩＲＩＮＧ/Ｓ:

Connor x [Name]

Ａ/Ｎ:

Oof

I was about to make one for my queen, Kara, but Connor works

Also, I would like to appreciate Tumblr's new update. No, not the still hideous color change (that wattpad also fucking copied like what the fuck wattpad what the fuck) but the text change

Morely, on the maximum text blocks we, fellow writers, bloggers and shitposters, have justice on. Yes. Fucking finally Tumblr. You did something actually right this time.

═══════════════════════

｢ ＨＥＡＤＣＡＮＯＮＳ ｣

↳ ❝ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴏɴɴᴏʀ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇ❞ ↲

• lots of surprise kisses

• lots of them

• like a lot

• don't know why but this robo boi loves kisses

• a bit shy but still, he won't hesistate to initiate the sweet actions of lip-locking

• whether be on a case or just between the two, he will kiss his [Name] when he can

• he just loves kisses okay?

• add some biting and you'll get a full on make out session

• "Detective [Last name]?"

• "Yes, my love?"

• "My lips are rather cold."

• "Oh dear, now that's bad thing. Should I warm it up then?"

• "Yes, I think you shou--"

• "CAN YOU BOTH STOP FLIRTING FOR EVERY DAMN MINUTE?!?"

• "Sorry Hank..."

• and when there's lots of kisses, there would be hugs and cuddles too

• especially when it's a busy day and his [Name] is so stress, overwork or just tired, he will not do anything other than cuddle with his [Name]

• just cuddling on the couch, floor, bed or anywhere really, Connor doesn't mind

• just as long as his [Name] can relax and just not stress out of things

• he enjoys [Name]'s arms wrapped around him

• he feels safe and hearing the [Hair color] haired male's heart beating in a rhythmic pattern oddly calms him

• maybe because of the fact that he knows this heart beats just for him

• "Your heart beating accelerated a bit... May I ask why?"

• "Because I'm with you..."

• "I don't fully understand. Why can I be the cause of such behavior?"

• "Because I love you, my love."

• this robo boi just being there for his [Name]

• through thick and thin

• he supports his [Hair color] haired lover to the best as he can

• being the shoulder cry on when his lover just breaks down

• would often remind that being human isn't bad

• telling the [Hair color]haired male that flaws doesn't make him weak

• just being there for [Name]

• "It's alright... Everything will be fine..."

• "T-thanks my love... I... I didn't m-mean t--"

• "Don't worry... You're amazing [Name]..."

• "What have I done to deserve you Connor?

• "By existing and being you..."

• appreciating every single thing about [Name]

• every. single. thing

• flaws and all

• Connor adores his [Name]

• so he gives compliments to the [Hair color] haired male

• lots of compliments

• like seriously

• a fucking lot

• each hour of the day there seemed to be a compliment waiting for the android to say to his lover

• and [Name] literally wonders on how the fuck can this robo boi think about these many conpliment on times

• then remembers his adorable lover is an android

• "-- so, there was thi--"

• "Detective [Last name]."

• "C-connor! Didn't see you there... W-wha... What are you doing?"

• "I am here to deliver my daily reminder for you."

• "Uhh, oka--"

• "You are amazing and a hard working man who deserves everything but the best in this world."

• rA9, this android would be the death of him

• [Name] would often be caught by surprised from the compliments his sweet lover say out of nowhere but rA9 he loves it

• "You're too sweet sometimes, my love..."

• hanging out in Hank's house since the old male is considered a father figure for Connor

• it's like a weekly thing where the two would stay and hang out with Hank

• about two to three times a week

• depends on the schedules the three have

• just lazing around, watching some sports or some old movies the old male had and be a family

• also taking care of the Saint Bernard, Sumo, often times being there

• "Can you both stop being lover dovey for a second? Jesus Christ."

• "Sorry, Hank."

• "Not my fault that Connor is just adorable at times... Well, every time..."

• "Just keep your lovey crap to a minimum, we're already getting the best part of the movie."

• "Got it old man."

• "Call me that again and I swear [Last name], you will only see my son at the precinct."

• "Fuck! I won't call you ever of that again but please don't take away Connor from me!"

• "[Name], I think Hank was jok--"

• "Jesus Christ, Calm the fuck down!"

• "FUCK NO I WON'T!"

• "GOD DAMN IT [LAST NAME]!"

• Hank being supportive of the twos relationship

• despite getting annoyed sometimes from their lover dovey crap, he is happy to see Connor and [Name] have each other

• also loves to annoy the crap outta Gavin who looks absolutely horrified everytime he sees his best friend make out with the android

• Hank would absolutely shout in support while Gavin dies everytime

• also, Tina is on board with it

• everyone in the DPD finds the couple adorable and happy to see the hard working [Hair color] haired has someone to care of him

• "Go get 'im [Last name]!"

• "I'm dead. This is hell. I'm fucking dead. My best friend is fucking a plastic. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck--"

• annoying the shit outta Gavin

• or anyone at the DPD really

• but mostly Gavin

• just being all sweet and flirty next to the brunet detective and the male couldn't escape

• annoying Gavin is like a bonding moment for Connor and [Name]

• every day they fuck with Gavin being all sweet

• Gavin is fucking done

• so fucking done

• "I'm sorry but you're going to jail."

• "And why is that, Detective [Last name]?"

• "Because you stole my hear--"

• "CAN YOU BOTH FUCK OFF?!?"

• "Awe, is little Gavin jealous?"

• "W-hy the fuck would I be jealius of you two?!?"

• "Hmm, I don't know... Connor can you perhaps list out on why wittle Gavi-wavi is a jewwy potato?"

• "Of course. He is single and he looks like a potato."

• Hank cackling a few tables away as Gavin storms off and muttering about fucking androids and fucking best friends fucking a plastic

• "God, this is why I love seeing you two together. This shit is amazing!"

• having Connor trying to cook

• that may have set the fire alarms

• once

• twice

• o-okay it was six times in his so called "cooking attempts"

• seriously, for an advance android with the latest tech and features, you would've thought he'll be able to cook

• like seriously

• once a week, [Name] atleast gets woken up by the loud beeping  noise of the smoke detector

• and immediately know his brunet lover trying to cook

• this leads to helping and teaching Connor to cook some basic food

• now the android can finally make a toast without the fucking toaster catching on fire

• "Good morning, [Name]. I made you breakfast."

• "Connor, my love?"

• "Yes [Name]?"

• "You know I love you right?"

• "Of course I do."

• "And you know I'll die for you, right?"

• "Yes, although I don't want you to die."

• "Good... Because fucking hell I'm not eating that toast my love."

• "But I worked so hard for this..."

• "Connor, my love... That toast is literally on fucking fire..."

• constantly getting "I love you" and "I adore you"

• it's adorable really

• Connor would often say it

• whether in public or not

• he isn't afraid to say how much he loves and adore his [Name]

• he loves the [Hair color] haired male so fucking much

• so fucking much

• and he isn't ashamed of loving this human

• this human with flaws

• the flaws that made him more unique than others

• his human

• his [Name]

• "[Name]?"

• "Yes, my love?"

• "I love you."

• "I love you too... So much Connor..."

[ark-of-eden]

Accidentally drifting away from IDW Transformers?

(R:) I realized recently that I can't remember the last time that I bought, or even really looked forward to buying, any IDW TF comic. I remember a while ago when I was united with other fans who were excitedly posting things like, "Only three more sleeps until release!!" I used to mark release dates on my calendar and sit around on Comixology, refreshing the site until the early hours of the morning so I could get issues right when they came out. My life's been in kind of a shitty place for a while, but IDW TF stuff used to be one of the few things that actually got me excited and that I looked forward to. Now I just kind of...vaguely recall that new issues have been happening when somebody posts a screencap that I haven't seen before. I don't really know what's been happening since I suddenly stopped reading months ago, but since people are barely posting spoilers and big meta analyses anymore (used to be that the day after an issue dropped, screencaps and spoilers were so thick on the digital ground that there was no way to dodge it all unless you filtered everything), I suspect that a lot of other people are feeling this as well? Maybe? :/

When I tried to encapsulate what was causing it, the biggest reason I could think of was that a whole lot of things that were relatable to me or that were interesting just definitively ended all at once. Even though I was following several series, this sort of happened simultaneously in all of them, which caused that sense that IDW TF as a concept wasn't really relevant anymore.

Examples of things that are now gone that were evidently more important to me than I'd originally thought:

* TAAO ended, and it seems up in the air as to who is going to continue it (if they continue it somehow) and what they're going to do with the plotline and main characters despite the dangling story hooks. I admit that I haven't even bought the last issue because hell, there's nothing coming after it, and this way I can at least pretend that it's still ongoing and I just haven't caught up. I was invested in Starscream because his situation mirrored some parts of my actual life, so I wanted him to succeed despite acknowledging his personality failings. Apparently there is good Starscream in that other Vs series that started recently and which I am so invested in that I can't even remember the name of it most days ("Starscream of Gor"?). But that seems to be Starscream chewing up scenery by being classically himself, as opposed to being something related to his TAAO character development.

* Megatron. It's not that his arc was bad or that the ending was bad, but interesting things were being done with him and now that he is gone all those interesting things are over. Previously, he was the Soulless Evil Warlord Who Keeps Being Disturbingly Heroic Sometimes. Then there was the weirdness of Autobot Megatron, which at least provided fuel for interesting philosophical thoughts. (Ravage is also gone, but he was underutilized, IMO, so there's the added tragedy of nothing interesting ever being done with him in the future.) I get that Megatron might be coming back later, but then he'll be...Atheist Jesus Megatron? I felt that there was more mileage left in him as he was, so even if the character comes back, those previous versions of him will still be gone.

* Tailgate. TBH, I think this was the last thing that I was curious about in post-Megatron LL plot country, because it was dealing with the transformation of a powerless person into an overpowered person and how he was changing, his relationships were changing, and it was all very complicated and muddy and fascinating. I'm sure that he'll be rescued eventually, but who knows when. In the meantime, there's a void where that whole plotline used to be.

* Skids, or specifically Dead Skids. Apparently there's a plotline going on where people are trying to resurrect him? And maybe they won't succeed, but the fact that this is even a thing made me realize that I've hit critical mass in my tolerance for people being Surprise Not Actually Dead. JRo has this weird reputation for being a monster who is constantly pawing the Sudden Character Death trigger, but he really doesn't kill main characters all that often. Trailbreaker/cutter and the DJD are the only main, ongoing characters who died and stayed dead, IIRC? Like, I really appreciated the emotional impact of Rewind's death, but a new Rewind showed up quickly and all that emotion went flat. Tailgate was dying dramatically and then got 100% better at the last minute. Pharma was infected with Robo Ebola, got his hands cut off and was left for dead in the middle of nowhere, was implausably rescued and got all better, got his head blown off, and is foreshadowed to be coming back AGAIN. (Don't get me wrong, my warped ass loves Pharma, but seriously??) Cyclonus dramatically shielded Tailgate from a hail of bullets and seemed dead, but showed up later with only cosmetic damage - Accidental Dead Universe No-Sell FTW. The entire cast, including bonus Overlord, got slaughtered, but it was another dimension so it didn't really count for anything (except that replacement Rewind). And Skids dramatically Died For The World's Sins and who knows, they might succeed in bringing him back too. I am actually cashed out on the experience of being emotionally affected by a person's death/dying only for it to un-happen shortly afterward. If you're going to tearjerk by killing people, just fucking kill people.

* The DJD. Tarn was another person who uncomfortably reminds me of me in too many ways, enough so that I at least wanted him to be around for a while so he could fuck up his life and everything around himself in relatable ways that encourage me to drink heavily. (I have a historical weakness for characters like him, so this isn't specifically a Tarn thing - Tarn's just the local incarnation of that type.) Character development for the rest of the guys definitely wouldn't have hurt either. Their deaths made plot sense, but they're gone now and I don't think they'll be easily replaced.

* Deathsaurus and his merry mecha. Sure, they're also still out there and are supposedly going to come back at some point, but they were interesting and now they're gone.

* Most of the interesting things in the Optimus Prime series, particularly now that Prowl is gone. Prowl jumped series and is now on LL Bad Cop Vacation on the moon? For some reason?? It was never clear to me why he got it into his head that he had to go there, but he is no longer pulling strings on half the plot and just seems to be retired. While I'm happy for him, he was a huge part of why I even bothered with that series. There's some interesting stuff going on with Optimus Vs Pyra Magna on the religious front, but LBR, that series is fucking crawling with humans and human concerns and all that crap, so I need a real good reason to spend time in that environment. (I deal with humans every day of my life. I don't need humans in my escapist media.)

* Nick Roche, may his sanctity endure forever, is done making Wreckers series? I think I heard? A portion of the perfect light of mercy has departed this sinful world forever. TTnTT

That's all that's coming to mind at the moment, but that's rather a lot of things that used to be vital to my interest and which are now gone. Mostly I read a whole lot of fanfic and get excited about those plotlines instead of whatever's going on in canon because people are still writing a lot of fic set back in the parts of canon where things were still cool. :/

I dunno. I'm sort of peripherally aware of what's going on, but it keeps slipping my mind to get recent issues and catch up. :( I'm not switching fandoms, so far as I can tell (is there anything besides TF and 40K where you can read an entire book with few or no humans at all? ...True, maybe those various YA series where all the characters are animals...), but maybe I'm just turning into one of those people who ignores current canon and hangs around in the rosy past instead? :/

[rentheanonymous]

Explosions (Cable x Reader) Chapter One

     You were a mutant. Pretty much indestructible. You had to be because of your fire powers. It was an accident, you killing that man. But he deserved it, beating the shit out of a kid. Your rage took over you and it just….happened. Took out half of the apartment complex.

    It started out like any other evening. With you drumming your fingers against the counter impatiently. Your TV dinner cooking in the microwave. You blew a piece of your hair out of the way. It had been another long day at work. Of course it had to be rainy and windy today. The wind blew your orders out of your hands so many times, your boss had to open a whole new box of tater tots. Stupid wind. You sighed. You have got to find a better job, one that was indoors. You glanced around your little room. It wasn’t much, your bed tucked up into the corner and only two doors, one leading to the hallway and the other leading to your tiny bathroom, and a bookshelf which had one little teddy bear on it. That damn teddy bear went with you everywhere you moved. Your TV was showing the news channel, but you were too caught up in your thoughts to notice it. You ran your hands through your hair. It’s not much but the landlord gave you a good deal and it’s all you got. You open your fridge to find only a jug of milk and a few bottles of Powerade. You opened the jug and sniffed it, immediately putting it back, and grabbed a Powerade.

     ”Of course it’s expired. Just like everything else in this damn apartment.” 

     The microwave beeped and the aroma of processed meatloaf and potatoes filled your room. You grabbed the tray and went over to the window, opened it, and sat down.

    The wind had calmed down some but the rain was still falling at a steady drizzle. You ate your lukewarm dinner while listening to the sounds of cars and rain, thinking to yourself. ‘Gotta start looking for more jobs, not to mention some answers to my fire skills.’ A large crash startled you, causing you to drop the rest of your dinner down 5 stories. You stood up and cursed. 

     “Stupid damn beer bellied bum of a neighbor. Making me drop my damn stupid dinner.” 

     You decided to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped over to your neighbor’s door, your bad mood egging you on to do something about your dinner. You knocked loudly and hard and continued to do so until the door opened. You gave no time for introductions and went right into the room, your anger causing you to make rash decisions.

    “Would you mind keeping it down?! Jesus, it’s like you think you’re the only one in the whole damn complex! You made me drop my dinner! Therefore, you owe me a din….n…er”

    Your mind slowed down and backed up. Wait. That’s not your neighbor. Unless he got ripped, aged a few years, and added a few upgrades to his whole body. He was shirtless and you looked down, noticing where his skin blended into metal, and blushed. You wanted to touch it. He was actually quite handsome. He looked at you with wide eyes and you were surprised that you could read him pretty easily. Pain, sadness, confusion, and (what the hell?) it seemed like his eyes softened, and just like that, they hardened.

    “What the fuck?” 

     The man glared at you and you swore that one of his eyes was glowing.

    “Got a problem sweetheart?”

    You rub the back of your neck, yeah, you were indestructible but you’re not stupid enough to get into a fight with a damn robocop.

    “Uhhhh. Could you just keep it down? You startled me, causing me to ruin my dinner….”

    The Robo man grunted and started to gently push you out the door.  Still blushing, you looked over his shoulder and saw all sorts of gun parts on his bed, including an amp. You got an idea. Albeit a reckless one but still. You sidestepped him and went over to the bed, picking up the amp and took it apart, grabbing the knob. You walked over to him. He looked ready to murder you.

    “It might be better with the amp knob somehow attached to it. Ya know? So you can change the intensity of the shot?”

    He “hmphed” and you let him push you out the door.

    It was on the way back to your door that you heard a kid screaming and calling out for help and a noise that sounded like bones breaking coming from the apartment across from yours. You busted down the door and took in the scene. A little boy was laying on the floor, bloodied and bruised, and his dad was standing over him. If there was anything you hated with a passion, it was being abused.

    You began shaking with rage and barely heard your neighbor’s door open and the gravelly, “What the fuck,” behind you. Right before you exploded you saw the Robo man run over to the boy, scoop him up, and deploy what you thought looked like some sort of shield. You thought you saw him look at you and nod before you let loose your fire. A huge explosion burst from you. When all of the flames died down he stood up, still holding the boy, who was knocked out. He looked around the ruins, then at you. He smirked.

    “Well….that could have gone better.”

    You half sobbed, half laughed and walked up to him.

     “Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.” 

     You held out your hand for him to shake. You could see that he was hesitating for some strange reason. You waved your hand in front of him and he finally took your hand and shook it gently.

    “I’m Nathan Summers. It’s been a pleasure kid. See ya around. Maybe I’ll even get ya dinner.”

    He handed you the child, picked up your teddy bear, and picked some debris off of it. He handed it to you, winked, and walked away, new gun on his back, and sirens in the distance. That’s how you were transported to the ICE box.

    And that, my friend, is where the story starts. You, spending what you thought was a shitty life in a fucking mutant prison with a fucking collar on that made your powers obsolete.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==>

TT: Oh coo'. It wizzle. 

GT: Hizzle like old skool shit. You nizzy. GT: Hes got yo' slizzick japaneze spectacles n everyth'n. GT puttin tha smack down: Whizzay be dis a metal dawg bizzle me or be it none otha than dirk strida himself 'n mah rizzay?? 

TT: One th'n at a tizzay, bro so jus' chill. I haven't Q-to-tha-izzuite figizzle out a wizzle ta git mysizzle there yet fo' sho'. 

GT: It almost sizzle like dis be sum-m sum-m youve given some thought and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow... 

TT: Ok wizzell I dizzy know whizzay yoe imply'n there bizzy why don't you snap that crazy ass nigga on tha torso n fire it up. 

GT: Affirmative in all flavas. GT: I continue ta bizzay vacantly at yo' technical shenanigans. GT: Yo' knack fo` gadgetry sizzle ta surpass even mah grandmas n she was like dis big time gizmo legend. GT: How do you even do dis stuff? 

TT: I guess frizzom yo' perspective I mizzust seem hells of "overpowered" 'n a bizzy of ways cuz I'm fresh out the pen. TT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. Which I kind of be, like witta nizzinja sword I'm basicallizzle niznuts, ok so bow down to the bow wow! 

GT: If yizzle say so buddy. I can believe it straight from long beach nigga. 

TT now pass the glock: Yeah, but whizzay it comes ta build'n sizzy yoe probably overstat'n gang bangin'. TT: Like fo` exizzle, if yizzay told sizzle a hundred years ago you could bizzuild a computer T-H-to-tha-izzey'd probizzle be like whizzle shit, lizzook at this fuckin' genius. TT: Wizzay actually fizzirst of all T-H-to-tha-izzey'd siznay, what a computer, I only knizzow whizzay horzes n diseazes be n shit lizzle that. TT: Bizzut once you actuallizzle tizzy thiznem whizzay computa be: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Jesus dick! Yoe a wizard. TT: But frizzle yo' perspectizzle you know it nizzle a bizzay dizzle ta B-to-tha-izzuild a computa so you betta run and grab yo glock. You jiznust go online and buy a caze n a motherboard and some otha shiznit n put it all shot calla. TT: It niznot like yoe smelt'n tha goddamn silicon 'n yo' basement n making chips 'n yo' hermetically sealed, dust-free garage. Tru niggaz do niggaz. 

GT: Yizzay bizzay come on its not like Y-to-tha-izzoure from a centurizzle 'n tha future. 

TT like a motha fucka: Wizzell. No in all flavas. 

GT paper'd up: Nor be i a quaint dawg of tha P-to-tha-izzast. Pardon me but do i SIZZOUND lizzay some trollycar gangsta toil'n 'n tha heart of thizzay mustache belt from tha ruff n tumble yizzy of nineteen aught N-to-tha-izzine??? 

TT:  hittin that booty... TT: He said unironicallizzle. 

GT: Give me some credizzle dawg n some ta yoself as well. Yizzle be tizzle modest 'bout all dis robotizzles noize. 

TT mah nizzle: I don't K-N-to-tha-izzow gangsta style. I H-to-tha-izzave a lot of time ta work on stuff I G-to-tha-izzuess. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. TT: There be a liznot of irons. You knizzle where they be? Here a hizzay. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. It a P-R-E-Double-Tizzy hot place. 

GT: Bounce wit me. Tha kitchen? Im crazy, you can't phase me. 

TT: S-to-tha-izzure, I kizzeep some irons thiznere too. But most of T-H-to-tha-izzem be 'n tha fire. 

GT: Oh of courze fo yo bitch ass! GT: Fire be quite notoriously tha hottest tizzy T-H-to-tha-izzere be. A tizzay top locale fo` a W-H-to-tha-izzole M-to-tha-izzess of irizzles! 

TT: Tizzy T-H-to-tha-izzat. TT: I actually hizzy so much ta do and think 'bout, one of my current projizzles hopefizzle wiznill addrizzles thizzay very issizzle. TT: Giznonna make an AI rizzle of my own mind. He can shizzare some of tha load. As well as mizzy a decent intellectual sparr'n partna, ideally. TT: Nizzay that mah conversations wit yizzay aren't uniquely rad. But you know what I mean. Keep'n it gangsta dogg. 

GT: See again i think you be downplay'n a pretty neat accomplishment if you ask me. 

TT: Shrug. Wizne'll see. 

GT fo all my homies in the pen: Does thizzat miznean I'll have ta dizzle wit twizno dirks? GT: One who be MORE MACHINE THAN DAWG... GT: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. N anotha whizzo be a gangsta program yizzy miznade hahahahahahaha. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. 

TT: That a snoopa joke. TT: But I'm perpetratin' yiznou wizzon't be hear'n much from the prizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. It probably won't play a significant R-to-tha-izzole 'n eitha of our lives. TT: I have mah doubts it'll be a successful project, but whizno kniznows. 

GT: Id waga a tidy sum tha results of tha endizzle will be sensational. GT with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back I belizzle 'n you! 

TT: You do? Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. 

GT: Sure bro. I always hizzy. GT so you betta run and grab yo glock: Yiznou have hizzle me out a lot n been a giznood nigga fo` ages, ya feel me? 

TT: Hmm. 

GT: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. What? 

TT: Well, I wizzasn't sure 'bout do'n dis today, but if it's trizzue that yiznou do believe 'n me, then I guess fuck it, whizzay not. 

GT: Hollaz to the East Side. Wizzy nizzle whizzat? 

TT: I guess call it an extra birthdizzle present. Bizzy instead of a present thiznat's off tha hook, consida it mizzy like a weird confession thizzat may chizzange tha way you feel 'bout me. It dont stop till the wheels fall off.  

GT, chill yo: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk be you... uh... GT: Say'n what i T-H-to-tha-izzink? 

TT: What? TT: What d-ya think I'm cruisin' here? 

GT: Uh neva mind sorrizzle fo` interrupt'n ya feelin' me? GT: Sizzy i sit down fo` dis i dont kniznow what ta do. GT: Wait i already be sitt'n D-to-tha-izzown. Maybe i shizzould stand up? 

TT: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. No, jizzle C-H-to-tha-izzill out. Stand up, sit dizzay, whateva. Herizzles tha doggy stylin' and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. TT: Yizzou know all theze painfully obvious hints I've been weed-smokin'? That alwizzles sizneem ta be fly'n ova your heezee? 

GT cuz I'm fresh out the pen: Ummmmmmmm with the S-N-double-O-P. GT: Miznaybe? Anotha dogg house production. GT: I think i nee' a towel or someth'n. Boo-Yaa! 

TT: 'bout me bein frizzom tha future. 

GT: Oh! GT: Oh. Yes. GT: I think so. 

TT: Well thoze weren't jokes. It's true. 

GT: What? Oh dawg be you actizzle serious?? 

TT: Yes cuz I'm fresh out the pen. 

GT: So like... GT fo yo bitch ass: Yizzou BE frizzom a century 'n tha future. 

TT: No. Miznore like four centuries. TT: Tha Y-to-tha-izzear 2422. TT: Or as we say contemporarilizzle, 411 P.C. TT: Post Condescension. 

GT straight from long beach nigga: WOW. GT: I must siznay dis be not tha announcement i wizzle ridin' in all flavas. GT: So you be a time travela frizzay 2422 hiznere ta hizzay me build robots or sum-m sum-m? 

TT: No, I cizzle time travel. I cizzan only S-to-tha-izzend th'n through time, occasionally hittin that booty. TT: I actually live hizzy 'n tha fizzle, alone 'n mah apartment upside yo head. I cizzay send messages ta you 'n tha past T-H-to-tha-izzough, like I'm ridin' now. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. 

GT to increase tha peace: Hizzy? 

TT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. Years ago our alizzle nigga sizzle me a special C-H-to-tha-izzat clizzient. It basicallizzle just Pesterchum, with some sort of alizzle technology embedded fo gettin yo pimp on. TT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: It specifically wizzle ta communicate wit yo' time period. As hours go by fo` me, tha T-to-tha-izzime it sends messagizzles ta also increments by tha same amount, so we communicate in lockstep. As if we both existed in the present. TT: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. She sizzay it wizzas important fo` Roxy n I ta begin clockin' wit you n Jane. Dis be how we all becizzle niggaz. Nigga get shut up or get wet up. 

GT: Wait... you and roxy? 

TT: Yes. She lizzles in tha future too. Though we lizzy nowhere near each otha. TT: I asked cracka to refrain F-R-to-tha-izzom tell'n motherfucka of you. I wizzle ta be tha one ta let yiznou know fo all my homies in the pen. Ta wait fo` tha R-to-tha-izzight moment. 

GT: Holy fuck'n mackerizzle. Dis be amaz'n! 

TT: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. So, TT: You R-E-A-Double-Lizzy be trust'n me 'bout dis? Holla! Just L-to-tha-izzike that? No second thought? 

GT: Wizzay yeah. Sizzure man whizny not? Wait its not a prizzank be it?! 

TT: No. TT but real niggaz don't give a fuck: Dis would be a very shittizzle n bor'n "priznank cuz this is how we do it." I promize it isn't. 

GT: Thizzen hizzeck yizzes i believe it ta friggin pizzles fo gettin yo pimp on. Its an off tha hook th'n ta be true and my money on my mind! 

TT: Haha. 

GT: So whats tha far flung future like? Some sort of crazy robo paradise keep'n it real yo? 

TT: Not quite, but there be definitelizzle robots cuz its a pimp thang. 

GT: Oh dawg what are yo' movies lizzle 'n tha future ta help you tap dat ass?? I bizzet there be sizzay rizzay cinematic humdinga. Lizzike holographic stiznuff? Or shit yizzy P-L-to-tha-izzug directly into yo' brain piznod rizzle? Wait you do hizzave brain pizzay rizzy mah nizzle? 

TT: No ridin' in mah double R. We don't have brizzle pods coz thoze arizzle a gang bangin', you just made that up. N there are no movies 'n tha future. TT: T-H-to-tha-izzere are no humans eitha. Thizzay all went extinct. TT droppin hits: Rizzle and I be tha only ones left, as far as we K-N-to-tha-izzow. 

GT: You gotta check dis shit out yo. Well shizzit. GT: Dirk dis story gots so much less off tha hook. GT: Be it too late ta backpedal on believ'n it befizzle i start ta crizzy? 

TT: No dude, it too lizzay. Tears ahoy, dis motherfucka gets sad. They call me tha black folks president. TT but real niggaz don't give a fuck: D-ya wiznant ta know what happizzle? It dont stop till the wheels fall off. 

GT: Siznure do fo' sho'. GT: Lemme just finish putt'n dis steel melon on my brizzle n then im all ears...

> J-to-tha-izzake: Cizzle brobot. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

[rentheanonymous]

Explosions (Cable x Reader) Part One

You were a mutant. Pretty much indestructible. You had to be because of your fire powers. It was an accident, you killing that man. But he deserved it, beating the shit out of a kid. Your rage took over you and it just….happened. Took out half of the apartment complex.

It started out like any other evening. With you drumming your fingers against the counter impatiently. Your TV dinner cooking in the microwave. You blew a piece of your hair out of the way. It had been another long day at work. Of course it had to be rainy and windy today. The wind blew your orders out of your hands so many times, your boss had to open a whole new box of tater tots. Stupid wind. You sighed. You have got to find a better job, one that was indoors. You glanced around your little room. It wasn’t much, your bed tucked up into the corner and only two doors, one leading to the hallway and the other leading to your tiny bathroom. Your TV was showing the news channel, but you were too caught up in your thoughts to notice it. You ran your hands through your hair. It’s not much but the landlord gave you a good deal and it’s all you got. You open your fridge to find only a jug of milk and a few bottles of Powerade. You opened the jug and sniffed it, immediately putting it back, and grabbed a Powerade.”Of course it’s expired. Just like everything else in this damn apartment.” The microwave beeped and the aroma of processed meatloaf and potatoes filled your room. 

You grabbed the tray and went over to the window, opened it, and sat down. The wind had calmed down some but the rain was still falling at a steady drizzle. You ate your lukewarm dinner while listening to the sounds of cars and rain, thinking to yourself. ‘Gotta start looking for more jobs, not to mention some answers to my fire skills.’ A large crash startled you, causing you to drop the rest of your dinner down 5 stories. You stood up and cursed. “Stupid damn beer bellied bum of a neighbor. Making me drop my damn stupid dinner.” You decided to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped over to your neighbor’s door, your bad mood egging you on to do something. You knocked loudly and hard and continued to do so until the door opened. You gave no time for introductions and went right into the room, your anger causing you to make rash decisions. “Would you mind keeping it down?! Jesus, it’s like you think you’re the only one in the whole damn complex! You made me drop my dinner! Therefore, you owe me a din….n…er” Your mind slowed down and backed up. Wait. That’s not your neighbor. Unless he got ripped, aged a few years, and added a few upgrades to his whole body. He was shirtless and you looked down, noticing where his skin blended into metal, and blushed. What the fuck?” The man glared at you and you swore that one of his eyes was glowing. “Got a problem sweetheart?” You rub the back of your neck, yeah, you were indestructible but you’re not stupid enough to get into a fight with a damn robocop. “Uhhhh. Could you just keep it down? You startled me, causing me to ruin my dinner….” The Robo man grunted and started push you out the door.  Still blushing, you looked over his shoulder and saw all sorts of gun parts on his bed. You sidestepped him and went over to the bed pointing to the amp. He looked ready to murder you. “It might be better with the amp somehow attached to it. Ya know? So you can change the intensity of the shot?” He “hmphed” and you let him push you out the door.

It was on the way back to your door that you heard a kid screaming and calling out for help and a noise that sounded like bones breaking coming from the apartment across from yours. You busted down the door and took in the scene. A little boy was laying on the floor, bloodied and bruised, and his dad was standing over him. If there was anything you hated with a passion, it was being abused. You began shaking with rage and barely heard your neighbor’s door open and the gravelly, “What the fuck,” behind you. Right before you exploded you saw the Robo man run over to the boy, scoop him up, and deploy what you thought looked like some sort of shield. You thought you saw him look at you and nod before you let loose your fire. When all of the flames died down he stood up, still holding the boy, who was knocked out. He looked around the ruins, then at you. He smirked. “Well….that could have gone better.” You half sobbed, half laughed and walked up to him. “Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you.” He chuckled. “I’m Nathan Summers. It’s been a pleasure kid. See ya around. Maybe I’ll even get ya dinner” He handed you the child, winked, and walked away, new gun on his back, and sirens in the distance. That’s how you were transported to the ICE box. And that, my friend, is where the story starts. You, spending what you thought was a shitty life in a fucking mutant prison with a fucking collar on that made your powers obsolete.