#maybe let's not fall into the pit of being assholes to ppl who id as pan just coz there r some biphobic and transphobic pan assholes

[commanderpyrrhadve]

okay at this point ive seen a million posts complaining about pansexuality as a label and how it's steeped in biphobia and literally none of that biphobic rhetoric in years........

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[rhyzsuxz]

ww84 confused the fuck out of me. i genuinely enjoyed watching it and I think most of the criticism is pretty valid, but like it wasn't,,, that bad. A lot of the stuff I have a problem with is things that I was able to put in the back of my head and still enjoy the movie so I don't like the vehement hate and shit people are saying (unless it's about the racist shit, i’m am not uncomfortable with vehemently hating on the racist ass shit in this movie) but other than that like,,,, idk it was pretty good.

Spoilers for ww84 below

the plot wasn't amazing but compared to Infinity War? Endgame? Jesus christ is call ww84 a masterpiece compared to anything marvels put out in the past five years. I didn't enjoy the entire oil barron middle eastern/egyptian plot point. That was completely unnecessary and racist. Pretty much the entirety of what happened in egypt was,,,, not,,,, okay,,,, i’m not going to go into it but like that's a completely genuine criticism because what the fuck were they aiming for there??? The non-white and clearly middle eastern dude wishing for nukes while holding a gun??? What???

Next one isn't "racism" but like who decided to write, cast, produce, and film the scene where the woman wishes to deport all irish ppl and the irish dude wishes to kill her??? What the fuck was that??? It needed more context and if ur criticizing a movie and you say "needed more context" it means it probably didn't need or shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Uhhh what else,,,, loved kristen wiig. omg. But,,,, why was the entire plot line between her and diana just pitting them against each other?? The entire subplot didn't even result in any character developed that it showed Barbara doesnt "learn to love herself" or anything she's just like "wow having superpowers is stressful, nvm" and she barely even does that??? Also the part where it's showing her losing her "humanity" and she beats the shit out of her attempted rapist. Loved that part EXCEPT. Why is that how she loses her kindness? Like i've seen people say the part where she actually loses it is when she tells her friend to mind his own business, but anyone (esp straight dudes) watching that and even a lot of women could take it as framing her beating up the asshole as bad?? Like my dream would be to beat up ppl who've assaulted me or made me uncomfortable so the fact that they even left room for the audience to question which part was her losing her humanity made me iffy about it. Overall it's one of the things I think they could cut from the movie and it wouldn't make any difference.

something I liked about it was the cgi. It's been getting a lot of shit because it's cringey at points but like,,, I loved it. The parts where she's flying just felt like a comic book and yeah maybe it's not realistic, world changing cgi quality but it made me happy and I think trying to go for the ultra realistic shit would've taken away from the whole theme they were pushing with Diana's character which was truth and love. I've never read the comics or seen any other DC movies (other than the first gal gadot wonder woman) but she just felt like a cool character and watching her I really understood her falling in love with humanity. Her whole character might not had grown much in the movie in terms of a formal arc, but watching her grieve and mourn the loss of Steve and then go through the cycle of falling in love with humans again was genuine and just fun to watch for me personally. Was it a little repetitive to being steve back? I mean yeah, but like,, they played up the fact that she was still mourning him and hadn't let go yet so I didn't mind it at all.

I didn't understand the whole him possessing another person thing tho. Like them fucking in that random dudes apartment and taking his stuff just felt wrong??? And it's not even addressed?? They could've just brought Steve back in his own body like they made the porsches and nukes appear out of nowhere and completely avoided the rapey, gross, tones it gave off. Add this to the list of things this movie did that made me uncomfortable and were there for seemingly no plot reason I can think of. They made such a big deal out of Barbara getting cat called and sexually harassed/assaulted just to completely violate a male character? Male sexual assault already doesn't get enough attention and you can't tell me that it's weird and unnecessary that the writers have steve possessing this guy while also stressing female sexual assault and going as far as beating up an abuser. And then not even MENTION the guy steve is possessing other than saying he's hot?? Seriously just take out that entire section of the movie and you've got a plot that's starting to make sense, but instead they just don't.

I had to filter the tag for the guy who played max lord because jfc,,,, first of all not looking for madalorian spoilers and I just don't understand this obsession with his character. The acting was good but the writing was eh. It feels like the Max Lord in this movie was really complicated and had the potential to be a cool character with looking into the abuse, his child, being a single dad, the want to make his son proud and that relationship, like he just seemed like he could be a cool "villian" who's misunderstood and needs to calm down, but it was too much. I didn't even realize he was the kid being abused until I read a review after the movie and there was so much going on with the plots of developing Steve and Dianasa relationship, showing Barbara's character arc, and the entire world falling apart, that it really took away from Lord. Instead of cutting any of it to make Lord a well rounded and explained character or make him more stereotypical villian and expand on the Cheetahs character, they crammed everything into one and failed at both. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching the movie, but it just feels like they just bit off more than they could chew but didn't realize it. I would much rather see a Max Lord villian centric movie that goes into Wonder Woman vs Lord and his character and then a separate Cheetah movie that went more into Diana and Barbara's friendship and saving her from losing her humanity, even if it writing that movie means completely taking her out of the Max Lord plot line. Over all id really like to see a good movie about two women struggling with power, loss, and existing in society where the writers don't pin them against each other with little to no plot explanation and a confusing fight scene that brought in a whole new subplot (asteria or whatever) out of NOWHERE.

In conclusion just do better next time. I enjoyed watching the movie. I enjoyed criticizing the movie. I would watch it again. I feel like the writers really got stuck between the desire to make the worlds greatest superhero movie that blows all of the others out of the water with a complicated plot and tons of characters and just the desire to make a good, entertaining movie. Not every piece of media has to be the new best thing since sliced bread and the cheesy cgi, flying, and "love and trust" references really got back to the roots of a good superhero movie, but then they went so far with the subplots it's like they couldn't decide what they were going for and turned what could've been that genuinely good superhero movie into a fucking mess with racist undertones, a convoluted plot, and a whole bunch of shit that genuinely made no sense.