#maybe it's time to finally watch the documentary from his retirement that i've failed out of multiple times due to feelings overload

[alacants]

think i have another tennis hangover

[thesoujishow]

S01E01 - Ken Sarukenka

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

Souji: Testing? Hello?

Ken: Yo? Sounds like it's working to me!

Souji: Ok. There we go.

[INTRO - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Hello, and welcome to the Souji Show. I'm Souji and this is a show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours.

Souji: This episode is sponsored by the peanut butter in Reese’s cups. They have the taste and the texture of a vitamin-enriched paste you squeeze from a tube directly into your mouth when you’ve been living in a bunker for 30 years because aliens invaded and it’s your birthday treat. Thank you Reese’s!

[MAIN - glitchy transition music]

Souji: For this very special, first-ever episode, we have a very special guest. You may know him as The Howler, or the other Ken, but to me, he's my monkey boy. Everyone, give it up for Ken Sarukenka!

Ken: Indeed, none other than the fantastical Ken Sarukenka.

Souji: Now Ken, tell everyone about yourself. Where are you from? What motivated you to go to Kyoranki? All that jazz.

Ken: I was born and raised in Kyoto and moved to Osaka around the start of middle school and been here ever since, my parents are Ippei and Meiko Sarukenka, better known as Great Ape and Statue, I am also a two time winner of middle school nationals in gymnastics, I was motivated to become a hero because all my life people around me have been heroes, my parents used to be, my brother is one and I choose this school because my brother graduated from here and it's reputation!

Souji: So, both your parents and brother are heroes. Was the decision to enrol at Kyoranki one you made on your own? Or was there added pressure from your family? How did they react when you got the acceptance letter?

Ken: Well, both my parents retired shortly I came into the world, I wouldn't say any of them pressured me but being overshadowed isn't very nice, yakno? I think it was mostly expected in a way, mostly because of my family really.

Souji: Speaking of being overshadowed, do you feel that you have the need to surpass your family in a way?

Ken: Yes, I feel that I have to surpass every single one of, my parents, my brothers I can't be remembered as the second or third best in my family, yakno? [dead serious tone]

Souji: O-ok. What was it like growing up with famous parents? Did people recognise you at all?

Ken: Well, growing up with famous people isn't anything special to me I get recognised every now and then, I met a bunch of other celebrities, I met a bunch of old guard heroes and a few newer once through my brother but it's not anything extreme I'd say. I'm more likely to get recognised now probably after I ended up on the news!

Souji: Speaking of being in the news, the Osaka Rising Star featured your fight at the provisional licence exams. Now I've heard from a little birdie that you didn't have the best time at the exams. Can you tell the listeners more about that? And what are your plans going forward?

Ken: Well... uh what can I say, I'll do the remedial courses and show the speaker that he was wrong to fail me right from the get go so he can go to sleep every night thinking that he almost stopped this world seeing the shining star of tomorrow! As for plans, train, complete remedial course and push forward the keys to everything in life.

Souji: Care to share on how you're planning to do that? What sets your apart from the rest of the Sarukenka heroes?

Ken: It's hard to say, are a bit different but if anything I'd say what sets me apart is the fact that I am none other than I and that I won't stop before I stand out even among them!

Souji: That's a very Ken answer. I respect that. [chuckle]

Ken: There is no other answers than the Ken answer, Souji. [little laugh]

Souji: Speaking of a shining star, let's shine the spotlight back towards the main focus of his podcast - me! Now, Ken, it's your turn to ask me questions. C'mon, don't be shy, ask anything you'd like.

[ASK SOUJI - glitchy transition music]

Ken: Well, I guess I'll throw the ball right back at you, why do you want to be a hero? Is it only because of Starlight or is there something more and how do you intend to stand out in this world filled with people like yours truly!

Souji: To catch the listeners up, I'm a big fan of Starlight. I guess I never considered a career in being a hero until I saw that special documentary episode of Speak with Starlight, what captivated me was his fans, there were a lot of them, each and everyone admired him and his heroic deeds and seeing the praise and attention that his fans are giving him, it sure was tempting. [laugh]

Ken: Inspiration is good, it helps you realise things doesn't it? Not everyone grows up in a family like mine where you are exposed to things the same way I was and I can surely see how it was tempting, I have been tempted by the shining lights that I have been surrounded with myself.

Souji: Inspiration can come from unexpected places, it's true that little things inspire us.

Ken: Indeed, I once felt inspired by watching a squirrel climb a tree! They always look like they are so free and have so much fun, so why shouldn't I do the same?

Souji: I'm great at climbing trees, we should really climb some one day.

Ken: I'd be down!

Souji: In all honesty, it was the fame and money that made me want to become a hero. It's a bit narcissistic, I know, but it is what it is. But during my time here, I saw what happened to the people around us. I want to be a helping hand in making a difference in people’s lives. Plain and simple. My family's poor so the money's still my number one motivator but it makes me happy knowing that I'll make the city a little bit better for everyone living in it.

Ken: I ain't gonna fault anyone's reasoning, being a hero is a profession after all just like being a policeman, fireman, doctor and so on, the only difference is the spotlight and the persona. Hopefully, you can throw your family a bone once you hit it off, eh?

Souji: Of course, I want to give back as much as I can. They might not be around as much, but I know they still want the best of me. Also, I want to travel. I've been stuck in Osaka for most of my life, and I love the city, don't get me wrong, but I just want to see what's out there.

Ken: Travelling is nice, but home is where the heart is wouldn't you agree?

Souji: Yeah, I wouldn't trade Osaka for anything. [pensive pause] Well, that got sentimental. Let's move on to our audience questions! These were submitted by our classmates in our group chat. Ready? Ok.

[Qs from the GC - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Fumi wants to know do you like bananas?

Ken: I like bananas in things but not really a huge fan if they are on, it's alright.

Souji: Kotoe wants to know your favourite genre of music.

Ken: My favourite genre of music is pop or rap, if it has a nice beat or a dramatic feeling I am usually down.

Souji: Kichiro asks, can you talk to monkeys?

Ken: No, I cant talk to monkeys believe it or not.

Souji: Taka inquires, does Ken-san take inspiration from Sun Wukong? That's some Chinese stuff, right?

Ken: Yeah my costume is mostly inspired by him, so his name hero name which means that one day soon I will be the Great Sage who rivals the Heavens!

Souji: Great Sage who Rivals the Heavens. [chuckles] Wow, that's quite the mouthful. We might have to workshop that Ken.

Ken: Yeah... A bit too long probably. [snicker]

Souji: I don't have any suggestions on the top of my head, but please don't pick a weird hero name like Monkey Boy, or worse - Monkey King! Plus, to be a sage, wouldn't you actually have to be, you know, wise?

Ken: In what world is that worse? I think you're going crazy over here and who says you need to be wise to be a sage? Not that it matters I am clearly the wisest person here!

Souji: Ken, that's literary its meaning, sage means wise. Well, it does sound very flashy, but maybe a bit too arrogant maybe? I mean, you can't even talk to monkeys, how can you call yourself the monkey king. You can still be Monkey Ken, though.

Ken: What do you think would be better then? I think Monkey King is a perfect fit if you ask me!

Souji: How about trying some alliteration?

Ken: Pfft, alliterations are overrated anyway.

Souji: I'm not sure if it's final but I was thinking my hero name to be the Neon Ninja. See, it's short, simple and easy to remember.

Ken: Neon Ninja? Sound like a flopped comic or video game, ain't ever gonna pack the punch you'd need it to!

Souji: Of course it sounds lame, that’s the point. You have to start from the ground up. Once people know your deeds as a hero, that’s where it becomes cool. Do you think Starlight’s name was cool when he just started out? No, man. Who name’s themselves Starlight? But, it became cool. I’ll make the Neon Ninja cool.

Ken: Starlight packs more punch than Neon Ninja though! His is like cool and mysterious, yours just sound like a old school retro game people forgot about, why'd you ever wan to sound lame?! Whatever you say, if you prove me wrong I'll eat my words but if you can't I'll be there laughing!

Souji: How about this. Why would anyone want to name a technology company Apple? It's not cool, or futuristic, it's lame. But with time, people liked their product and the name got cooler. See? It might seem lame now, but just give it some time. Like grapes and wine.

Ken: I don't know, maybe something about the apple of knowledge and all that jazz? Didn't really play attention in religion class, so I ain't too sure but either way I think something more high impact is better!

Souji: Let's just agree to disagree, monkey boy. Finally, Haruto wants to know if do you know da wae?

Ken: I know my way, perhaps its the right way for others as well just follow along for the ride and see!

[ENDING - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Well, we're nearing the end of our the show, Ken, is there anything you'd like to remind our audience, maybe plug whenever they can find you online?

Ken: Hmm, well I do guess I could plug some things I am on [X-Social Media platforms] with [X-User names] feel free to follow me!

Souji: You've been pretty cool to talk to, so before you leave, I have a special surprise just for you. I've embroidered it myself, and the shirt is from a downtown thrift store.

Ken: Ooooh. You really didn't need to do that, but I love it, it's adorable!

Souji: Thank you for being my first guest, Ken. It means a lot.

Ken: I don't know what else you'd expect, it's always cool talking to me isn't it?

Souji: To keep with the show follow me @thesoujishow, and to support my small clothing business, follow @glitchgear on all social media platforms. Once again, this has been Ken Sarukenka and Souji Yoshihiro, and you’ve been listening to the Souji Show! A show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours. Until next time. Insert catchphrase here.

[vaporwave lo-fi song]