#maybe if it hadn't people would understand more why jason is so fucked up

[oifaaa]

Started following for the Jason. Stayed for the Jason

Jason content is the one thing I can do and will continue to do which speaking of jason am I the only one conflicted about jason with scars like on the one hand it's a cool design but if the insinuation is that he got them before he got thrown in the pit then I don't care what excuses you come up with the pit should have healed them I do not care

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, so. The saga from my last couple of posts. About this spreadsheet that I made:

I've looked into it more. And by "looked into it more", I mean, mostly, that the British guy I know has further explained to me what the cultural differences are, between Britain and America, in the definition of a milkshake. And I'm going to assume we can roll in Ireland in with Britain on this one, as I've not been able to find any differences from some Googling. So I'm going to assume that when David O'Doherty and Andrew Maxwell say "milkshake", they mean the same thing that British people mean by it, which it turns out is a completely different thing than what I mean. Maybe especially so twenty years ago. Apparently they have more actual milkshakes there these days.

But in 2002, apparently, most places did not make milkshakes. They made "flavoured milk". And called it milkshakes. And one of those flavours was chocolate. But they didn't call it chocolate milk. It was a milkshake. I straight-up did not believe this until I was sent some screenshots, which I shall now pass along:

The last post in that second screenshot is all you really need to see, to explain the situation. I didn't find it myself when I tried Googling this, because I was looking up things like "What do they call chocolate milk in Britain?" It hadn't occurred to me to look up what they're calling milkshakes. Because the answer is chocolate milk. They're calling chocolate milk milkshakes. And once I'd read those Reddit posts, I did understand the concept. But I still got sent one more screenshot to really drive the point home in a way that I found rather upsetting:

What the fuck? None of those are milkshakes. But more than that, none of those are necessary. It's not just that they don't say "chocolate milk" there. They say "flavoured milk", and it can be strawberry or banana flavour too. In milk. Why? Why would you have that? I do not like it.

So that puts an entirely different spin on the whole Edinburgh situation. My British friend has confirmed for me that, in Britain, it would be normal to go to a diner and order chocolate milk in a glass, even if you're over the age of 9. That would actually be more normal than ordering a milkshake, like an actual milkshake with ice cream, as most places didn't have milkshake makers. So when David O'Doherty says they got made fun of for drinking milkshakes, he means they were just going out after late shows and drinking chocolate milk.

Obviously I tried to look up the menu of the actual diner they went to, to see whether they offered "milkshakes" or "flavoured milk" and what flavours were on offer, but the place closed down in the years before restaurants all started putting their menus online. I do have a Google Earth screenshot of it from 2005 archived data:

They advertise: Cafe. Bar. [Alcohol] license. Meals. Snacks. Drinks. "Till late". It sure looks like a place where I might go for a milkshake. Not just to drink chocolate milk.

I mean, the main thing this changes is I think I'm on Glenn Wool's side now. The story of the Chocolate Milk Gang has been framed as the comedians who went to bars to get drunk after shows making fun of the CMG nerds for drinking milkshakes instead. Like an 80s high school movie with jocks and nerds, only with more cows getting destroyed.

For the record, from all accounts this sounds like friendly joking around (with the exception of David McSavage, who is the worst person in the world), I don't want to start any retroactive claims about genuine animosity from twenty years ago. Look, there are adorable pictures of them all playing football (and/or rugby) together at what I'm pretty sure is MICF in 2003:

Back row, left to right: Danny Bhoy, Dave Gorman, Dan Antopolski, don't know, Glenn Wool, don't know, Lee Mack, don't know, Jason Byrne, Adam Hills

Front row, left to right: Charlie Pickering, Daniel Kitson, David O'Doherty, don't know, Noel Fielding

You can also see Glenn Wool in this clip from Late 'n' Live on August 19, 2003 (a week or so before Cowgate night), with Daniel Kitson compering a fight between Jason Byrne and David O'Doherty, and Glenn Wool really throwing himself into the role of DO'D's manager:

See, look at this adorable screenshot, with 8 pixels per inch, of David O'Doherty jumping into Glenn Wool's arms to celebrate beating up a bubble wrap-clad Jason Byrne. Do these guys look like enemy nerds and jocks from a high school movie?

(Actually, now that I look at that, it absolutely does look like it could be the end of a high school movie where everything gets out of hand in the school auditorium.)

However. Here is Glenn Wool at MICF 2003:

That guy, I have to say, does look a lot like the guy in the high school movie who bullies the nerds. He's even smoking on stage with... I mean, I think there might be a tiny trace of irony to it. But not really. Mostly unironically smoking on stage. I mean... this guy does look like someone who would take a kid's lunch money so that kid couldn't buy any milk at school that day:

Because that is what happens when you take a schoolkid's lunch money - they don't get their chocolate milk. Because that is where you find chocolate milk - in a school. You don't go out and drink it in a diner at 2 AM on a night out. I'm not saying you have to drink alcohol. It is very admirable that some comedians chose to either entirely abstain from alcohol, or at least to drink it at reasonable levels instead of succumbing to the pressures of showbiz substance abuse. But that's where you drink something like milkshakes. You don't go out for chocolate milk.

And that is where I come back to my new conclusion that actually, I think I'm on Glenn Wool's side. Because first of all, if I saw my friend going out to a diner late at night just to order chocolate milk, I would call that person "chocolate milk" for the rest of their life. And if that person tried to tell me, a Canadian, that their glass of chocolate milk is actually a milkshake, then I would definitely call them "chocolate milk" for the rest of their lives, just to really drive home the point that that is absolutely not a milkshake.

What I'm saying is, Glenn Wool's right, they were a bunch of nerds, and that is not a milkshake, and I'm glad there was a Canadian on the scene to say so. The name "Chocolate Milk Gang" - maybe it was never about a style of comedy, or a cabal of professional crossovers. Maybe it was just a Canadian looking at what the people in Edinburgh called a "milkshake", and saying, "absolutely the fuck not."

(Note because tone is difficult to convey via text: I am obviously kidding, chocolate milk is good for you and you should drink it wherever you want. I mean I would genuinely make jokes about it for at least five years if a friend of mine ordered that in a restaurant, but only in an entirely friendly lighthearted joking way, and only if we were close enough friends to have the sort of relationship where we lightly make fun of each other for silly things like that. Obviously anyone who spent their twenties drinking anything besides alcohol did a much better job than I did of being a person in their twenties. And I would not, even in the most lighthearted, jokey way, make fun of someone for abstaining from alcohol. But I would do that if their alternative of choice was chocolate milk, because that's the thing they give you at school lunch. Thank you for reading this clarification that I hope wasn't necessary, but I was worried I might come across as a genuine bully if I don't get the difficult-to-convey-through-text tone correct. Bullying is bad. But also, chocolate milk is not a fucking milkshake.)

...I've asked my brother if he knows Glenn Wool, and he said no, so unfortunately that potential avenue for finding out the truth for sure is shut down. But I'm sure it's out there.

[idontcarejustletmelive]

Bad Movie Decisions

Old (2021l

Okay, let's watch this bitch. May contain spoilers for the 2021 M. Night Shyamalan film, Old.

04:13 These kids had better get old fast. That's the whole premise, right? If Big was a horror film and actually engaged with the fact it unwittingly made a pedophile of the female lead?

05:59 They're on a beach. Maybe the Beach That Makes People Old. Which, as I understand from the trailer, is what this film is actually about. (I was joking about the Big thing, although it is horrific if you stop and think about it).

06:38 Patented Shyalaman approach to characterisation there - have two kids go and ask everyone their name and occupation.

10:07 Why is this dude wearing sunglasses at night?

10:19 Abbey Lee 😍

11:38 The sunken-eyed resort manager wants a troubled family to get in a van to a secret beach that he describes as "an anomaly". I'm sure this is fine.

14:38 M. Night is the van driver. Abort! ABORT!!!

18:35 The rapper's eyes are gonna have rotted out of his head when he takes the sunglasses off. Calling it.

21:30 Hmm, she's dead, but she's not... Old 🤔

21:43 The rapper still has eyes. Very disappointed. He does have a nosebleed, but very tame compared to my headcannon.

22:51 Grandma's surely gonna cark it next, even though it'd make more sense for it to be Gustave the Yorkshire Terrier.

31:29 Rufus Sewell plays this same arsehole in everything and I'm okay with that.

32:54 The "stay in pairs in case anyone blacks out" plan is going really well.

39:51 Looks like we're going to be treated to some impromptu beach surgery. My favourite.

42.39 The plot points this guy will use to avoid an R rating. Incredible.

45:10 If everything is undone when they finally find a way back through the timey wimey cave, I'm gonna throw shit.

46:56 The rapper has already been here hours longer than the others, surely? Was he a fucking child when he arrived? This film makes no sense!

51:24 This cast is too good for this.

1:08:03 I hope I look as good at 70 as half these people apparently do.

1:13:57 Why hadn't anyone just clubbed Charles over the fucking head by this point? Why is he still being given free rein to stab everyone up?!

1:14:51 Why is everyone behaving like Charles is some unkillable Jason Vorhees maniac when he's just a confused, rapidly-ageing surgeon with a teeny tiny knife?!

1:17:41 "SUBTEXT IS FOR COWARDS!" screams Shyalaman, taking off his shirt to reveal a tattoo of Robert McKee's face.

1:21:23 Make-up department: "All right, so did you want Gael to be bald or go grey or what?"

Shyalaman: What? EWWW! No, gross. Just a few cute wrinkles and that's it. We don't want him to look DISGUSTING!

Make-up: But grey hair is a natural part of-

Shyalaman: *covering ears and screaming*

1:24:08 Genuinely, what does the resort get out of this? I get that there's some vague hand-wavy stuff towards it being a scientific study but to what end?

1:25:42 He definitely thinks this sand castle scene is profound.

1:31:22 My question still stands. This is not how you science. This would not stand up as viable fast-tracking ANYWHERE.

1:40:18 HOW IS THIS STILL NOT OVER?!

1:41:23 Finally.

[scorpionyx9621]

I Hope Hopeless Changes Over Time: A Red Hood and Batman Fic

*Source of the image I found off of Pintrest. I tried to find the original artist but the link on Pintrest led to a dead Tumblr account. If anyone wants to find/point out the account to me so I can give proper credit to the artist please please do.*

I wanted to make a fic based on an ask I did from the lovely @dilfbatman about Jason and Bruce. I hope people enjoy this mini-fic that I've expanded upon.

TW: Blood, Physical Assault, Suicide Ideation, Swearing. Bruce being a shitty father but trying. Jason having demons 

3.75K words. 

Bruce was uneasy about Jason staying over at the Wayne Mansion. Even with other members of the family around. Jason has done so much wrong and has hurt so many people. However, at the end of the day, Jason still is his son. So when he gets a call from Jason in a hushed voice asking Bruce to stay the night. He hesitated for a second, but acquiesced, Jason was nothing if not independent, so to be asking Bruce outright to stay at the Wayne Manor meant something was wrong.

"Master Jason wouldn't reach out to any of us unless something was gravely wrong, Master Wayne." Alfred had reassured Bruce, who was staring absentmindedly at the glass case which housed Jason's old Robin costume. The costume that Jason had died in. Bruce always tried to repress the memory of holding his son's cold, lifeless body. The pain he felt from losing his parents burned in his heart as an everlasting stab wound. But the pain from losing Jason, his son, it was too much to bare.

"I'd be welcoming to Master Jason, but keep your distance. Master Damian is spending the night at Jon Kent's house, Master Richard is in Blüdhaven, and Master Timothy is with the Teen Titans tonight. I'll rest assured Jason doesn't try anything to harm you. But don't try to encourage a confrontation." Alfred explained. He always seemed to understand Jason to a tee after he came back to life.

"I don't know how you do it Alfred, you can read the boy like a book." Bruce had retorted. Cocking a half-smile to the man who raised him since his parents died.

"Master Wayne, Master Jason wears his heart on his sleeve. He always has. And one of the reasons why you two fight constantly is because, for as terrific as a detective you are, you are horrifically inept in reading the emotions of your children." Alfred had stated, those words bit Bruce. He wasn't expecting such sharp words from Alfred. "We failed Master Jason. And he's hurt, he's been hurt for years because of it. However he keeps choosing to come back and try and trust again. We needn't come at him with accusations of ulterior motives, but we should be supportive." Alfred stated.

"But cognizant of what Jason is capable of." Bruce added back. Jason may need help, but he's still dangerous. He has tried to kill Bruce and the rest of the Robins multiple times. He wants to trust Jason and warm up to him again. But the man who wears the Red Hood and stalks the streets of Gotham killing those he deems criminals is not his son anymore.

Alfred and Bruce greeted Jason as he walked in the large double doors of the Wayne Manor. The first thing Bruce noticed was the dark circles under Jason's eyes. It seemed as if the man hadn't slept in days. Jason was wearing sweatpants and a fitted black wife beater, accentuating his muscles. Jason would have looked more intimidating had his body language not suggested he was as disheveled as he was, physically and mentally.

"Thanks Alfred." Jason had said meekly towards the butler. He took one step into the mansion and looked at Bruce. Bruce noticed as soon as Jason's eyes met his, his tired irises contorted into anger. His lips pursed downwards but Jason chose not to say anything. Instead just walking past Bruce pretending not to acknowledge him.

"Master Jason, you will be staying in the guest suite on the main floor. I've already prepped everything for your arrival. Please make yourself at home." Alfred had said. Jason just shook is head as he headed towards the hallway leading the guest suite. Bruce didn't notice it immediately but the stench Jason had emitted stung in the air. It smelled like stale liqour and body oder. It seems Jason hadn't bathed in days. Bruce had wanted to say something but chose not to.

The evening went by quietly enough. Jason had taken a shower and changed into another fitted wife beater but still sported a tired energy about him. Alfred had put together a beef pot roast for dinner with red potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery over garlic mashed potatoes. A favorite dish of Jason's. The three of them ate quietly as Bruce continued to size up his son. He was conflicted. At one point he saw the man who blew up the head of a Gotham security force member with a torture decide he had created. On the other hand, he saw the boy who would beg for Bruce to buy him more books after he finished the maximum amount a library card would allow for a week in the span of 3 days. The son who told him being Robin gave him magic.

The dinner ended as it began. With awkward silence and the father-son duo eyeing each other. One with cautious trepidation and the other with abject hate. Bruce had decided not to go on patrol tonight as he felt he needed to be at the manor should anything happen while Jason was here. An uneasy sense of dread built over Bruce as he had said good night to Jason as the two passed by each other in the halls. Jason simply spat 'Bitch' at Bruce and walked into the bedroom. Bruce had been bad with other people's emotions, but something didn't sit right with the way Jason was carrying himself. He had decided to stay up tonight regardless. A sense came over him after being sworn at by Jason. A sense he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt as though his son needed help.

————————————————————

"You're a monster"

"Jason is a murderer"

"Stay away from Jason, he'll kill you."

"No one wants you around, Todd"

"You're just a good guy trying to be bad"

"This is the kid you had to replace me with as Robin? Bruce he's pathetic."

"I can't believe my daughter wasted the Lazarus Pit on a miserable failure like you."

"Maybe I'd be better off dead"

Jason tossed and turned. It's been days. He couldn't get the voices out of his head. Those whispery, moany voices that taunted and tormented him. He knew it was a result of the Lazarus Pit. Ever since Roy died and everyone left him the voices started taunting him again. He tried everything he could to get the voices to stop. He drank, he read, he worked out, he did everything he could. The only way the voices became quiet were when he was beating the ever-loving shit out of some criminals. This was not the mindset Jason had wanted. He wanted to go back to being supported by Bruce, the man who betrayed him. He knew that Bruce was weak. He couldn’t kill the Joker because of his weakness. 

Jason got up and walked over to the connecting bathroom to the suite that he was staying in. He went to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. Against his better judgement, Jason looked up to the figure he saw in the mirror. He took note of his jawline, his face, his green eyes, his muscles.. but one thing that caught his eye was the fucking skunk streak of hair at the top of his head. The physical reminder of his dip in the Lazarus Pit. He had just re-dyed the spot not two days ago and it already came back. He did everything he could to try to hide the streak. It’s what he hated most about his new body. The pit wiped away all of the scars he had on his body. And any new fresh scar or wound would just fade in a matter of moments due to the effects of the pit. The only thing that ever stayed was that damned streak. 

Jason had nothing but disgust and contempt for the man he saw in the mirror, which, ironically, was himself. 

“You’re just using the sarcasm to hide your hatred.” 

“It’s your fault that everyone hates you.” 

“Killing the sick of the masses to save those who are weak is your calling” 

“Those reptiles deserve to die” 

“I don’t want to kill unless I don’t have to.. I don’t want people to hate me..” Jason tried reassuring himself. The voices in his head kept getting louder and louder. “I want Bruce and everyone to love me again....” He continued to try to re-assure himself. It was a false sense of hope as always. His mind soon wandered to a moment where he was on top of Dick in a fight. Confronting his older sibling and reciting a quote he had heard from a Japanese philosopher and optimist as he had the barrel of a gun placed against his older brother’s temple. 

“Do you know what the most convenient phrase in the world is, Dickie? It’s ‘I’m sorry.’ Anyone who hears that is obligated to forgive, no matter how hurt or angry they might be... There's no more disgusting phrase in all the world. It's used to displace your suffering unto others so you can escape your sins... The moment you employ it, your suffering becomes the other person's. A thing can be unforgivable, but oh, if they apologize... I say there's no reason to accept that suffering. You don't have to forgive them. Cast aside the mask of your conscience.“ 

“Stop this. Please stop this.” Jason had begged aimlessly into the air. He didn’t want to live like this anymore. He didn’t want to live, period. He just wanted all of this to end. He had caused so much pain and so much suffering to the people of Gotham all so he could attempt to hurt Bruce. But those words kept repeating in his head. He knew he had to stop this. He needed help, he wanted to go to Bruce and explain what was going on but Bruce would just have him institutionalized. His murderer of a son starts hearing voices in his head? A one way ticket to a padded room. 

Jason suddenly stared back into the mirror and saw something he detested. The green eyes that stared into his soul. The one he hated more than anything else. Was himself. This thing was staring him in the face mocking him, and he wanted it gone. 

“Do it Jason.” the voice had beckoned from the mirror. “Kill them all. Slit Damian’s throat and watch the fucker bleed. Bash Tim’s stupid face into the concrete until there’s nothing but mush. Rip Dick limb from fucking limb. Watch Bruce as you choke the last bit of life from his eyes. I promise all the pain will go away once all of this is done.” the voice sounded almost sweet as it promised to do all of this. Jason just retched as he saw the green eyed monster promising poison to him. He felt his vision fade to black. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

STOP IT. SHUT. UP. 

*CRASH* 

Bruce had jumped up from the chair he was sitting on in the library, the voice came from the suite that Jason was staying in. Bruce didn’t have time to think. He just ran towards the noise. He threw the door to the suite open and ran to the bathroom. There he saw Jason in front of a heavily cracked mirror. Jason was hyperventilating and he saw blood oozing from Jason’s fist which was pressed against the mirror. Bruce saw from the reflection that Jason had split open the left side of his lip seemingly from a shard of glass. It wasn’t long before Jason glanced up at the imposing shadow in the mirror and noticed Bruce’s presence. 

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BRUCE.” Jason had shouted at his reflection. Jason was shaking. Bruce had wanted to assess the injury that Jason gave himself. But he knew he was cornering a scared animal if he pressed any farther forward. Bruce stood their frozen. Pondering between trying to press forward upon a killer, or to check up on his son. 

“Jason, I just...” Bruce was cut off by another scream as Jason turned around. 

“IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU FUCKING STAND YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Bruce finally got the cue. The hitch in Jason’s voice. This is the same hitch his voice made when he was a kid and was angry at Bruce. Alfred was right. This is his son. And right now Bruce needed not to be the Batman approaching the Red Hood. He needed to be Bruce, to help his son. 

Bruce walked forward to Jason, still shaking as blood oozed from the gashes of glass on his fist. Bruce decided against everything in his gut telling him to stop this criminal. This monster who killed for sport and to prove a point. He needed to help Jason, his son. 

Bruce was knocked back by a fist to his chest. Glass imbedded itself into Bruce as he felt the sting of their shards. Jason was right, he was going to hurt Bruce if he approached. Oracle was right, Jason had been abusing venom. The quick gain in muscle mass was proof enough but the stinging pain in Bruce’s chest also proved that hypothesis. Jason barred his teeth as his eyes displayed a seething hatred. Bruce would have been frightened on any other day. Today, Bruce felt a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Bruce collected himself and got up to approach Jason again. 

“I TOLD YOU I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BRUCE. I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS. I WANT YOU TO DIE. I WANT ALL OF US TO JUST FUCKING DIE.” Jason screamed even louder this time. A hot stream of tears worked their way down Jason’s cheeks. Bruce no longer saw a rage-induced monster but the boy who took a tire iron to his gut on the streets of Gotham. The boy who would was thrilled at every opportunity he got to show Bruce the A’s on every test he got in school. This was his baby boy who needed his help. 

“Jason Peter Todd that’s enough.” Bruce said firmly, but not harshly. Jason stared directly into his eyes. “Jason. I want you to listen to me.” 

“Go to hell you motherfucker.” those words which escaped Jason were laced with poison. Bruce didn’t waver. 

“You can punch me as much as you want Jason and I’ll deserve all of it.” Bruce came closer to Jason. Jason proceeded to physically make himself smaller. Like a scared animal. Bruce remember what he did to Jason after he had seemingly killed The Penguin. How he beat Jason to within an inch of his life. His heart plummeted to his stomach as he saw Jason cower like a scared dog over his approach. 

“What are you going to do Bruce, beat me to a fucking pulp again? You hate me more than you hate the fucking Joker, don’t you?” Jason asked. Bruce truly saw the fear in those green eyes. He had to take a moment and realized just what he was doing. He unclenched his jaw and relaxed his shoulders as he approached Jason. This time he was back within striking range of his son. 

“Jason. I failed you. I have been failing you for the past 10 years since your death. I have failed this city and this family in providing the protection it needs. I couldn’t kill The Joker because I’m weak.” Bruce sucked at emotions and emoting. But Bruce hadn’t felt this shaky and wavering since the day he lost Jason. His son needed to know the truth. He deserved to know the truth. “Jason I never hated you. I hated the actions you have taken against the people of this city. But I’ve come to realize that the hatred and contempt I’ve held is because you do what I can’t do.” 

“Oh so now you’re coming over to apologize? I don’t owe you shit after what you’ve done to me.” Jason had stated. He may have been acting like a pinned animal. But his mouth will never not cut like knives. 

“Jason, when we had fought in the abandoned apartment. And you had the Joker with you. You had tried to shoot me after I had turned away from you.” Bruce said. Inching ever closer to Jason while trying not to be imposing. “In that moment, I threw the batarang because I knew you were going to retaliate against me. But I need you to know in that moment I turned away. I turned away because I decided I wasn’t to be the one to decide the Joker’s fate. He had taken your life and it wasn’t up to me to decide. I want nothing more than for the Joker to pay for the countless lives hes taken and ruined.” Bruce swallowed hard as he felt tears beginning to well in his eyes. “I failed you because I couldn’t kill the Joker. But in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to have my baby boy back. I wanted you back in my life. I still want you back in my life.” 

“Bullshit. Fucking BULLSHIT.” Jason spat at Bruce. The emotions were flooding out of his face. Anger, hatred, fear, but most of all sadness. Jason’s voice began wavering as he began to cry. “If you loved me why in the fuck have you never realized I’ve been trying to help the people of Gotham. Instead every time I take matters into my own hands all I meet are your fucking fists. I hate your guts Bruce. We’d all just be better off fucking dead. It’s all Hopeless. I’m hopeless.” 

Bruce took a deep breath. He tried to find his resolve. He wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out to his son again. “You’re absolutely right Jason. I’ll bet Gotham would be a whole lot better without me. Without the pain I have caused. And no amount of apologies will fix the pain that I have caused you. No words will ever take back the transgressions I have taken against you.” Bruce was crying this time. “But know this. You always have been my son. And I love you so much. The day I lost my parents was agony. The day I lost you, I felt like I had lost myself I felt I had died a bit inside.” Bruce choked out. “We both have done so much we regret. If I could take back all the times I hit you I would do it in a heartbeat. But no amount of sorry will take back that pain. I shouldn’t be in the position to be asking this. But I just want my son back.” Bruce swallowed. “You have every right to hate me, but I will never stop loving you. You aren’t hopeless and you never have been. You never have been a burden. You are valued by so many people. I. I love you my son. I love you Jason."

Jason’s face relaxed from a position of contempt and hatred and soon was overcome with years of pent up tears. Jason let out a hearty scream as he proceeded to weep and sob. As if a dam had broke and was threatening to engulf a town in an apocalypse. Bruce went against everything he had known and was screaming from the inside of his body and wrapped Jason in a hug. He was almost as large as Bruce himself and barely fit around his arms. But Bruce held his son and hugged him tight. Jason was crying uncontrollably. 

“I’m hearing these voices. They’re telling me I’m a monster and a killer and that I should kill all of you.” Jason shouted between sobs. “But I don’t want to. I’m so afraid Bruce. I don’t want to hurt anyone unless I have to.” 

“Just breath Jason. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Let it all out.” Bruce had solidified his resolve and worked on being there for Jason. He couldn’t run away this time. His son needed him more than ever. And Gotham be damned. He’s not making this mistake twice. He’s staying here. For Jason. 

It felt like hours before Jason had run out of tears and sobs. Jason was fading and seemed like he was about to fall asleep. The shards of glass that were imbedded in his hand seemingly prevented Jason from bleeding out. Bruce had saw Jason’s eyes glaze over as his breathing calmed. 

“Jason, I’m going to pick you up and take you to bed.” Bruce had said, asking for permission from his second son. Jason simply nodded as he starred off. He was numb now. The pain seemingly gone for the moment. Bruce lifted Jason up and was taken aback by just how heavy his son was. He truly was 225lbs just like his records showed. This wasn’t the son who hid under the cabinets when Bruce first brought Jason home. But Bruce still saw the boy as his son nonetheless. As Bruce laid Jason on the bed Alfred had approached with a first aid kit. Proceeding to begin to clean up Jason’s hand. Jason was so exhausted he barely felt any of the picking and pulling or the iodine going into his wounds. He kept his eyes fast forward on Bruce. 

“Bruce. I. I’m sorry.” Jason had said meekly. 

“Don’t apologize Jason.” Bruce had stated. He ran his hand through Jason’s hair, giving a soft massage to his scalp. “You get some sleep now. I don’t think you’ve rested in days.” 

Bruce had remembered the time he had read Jason to sleep. This time he had thought back to a poem that struck him from his phone. It was from a famous lyricist and singer. As Bruce pulled up his phone he had found the poem and recited it as Jason fell asleep. Things are far from perfect or even better. But tomorrow was going to be the first day of the rest of his and Jason’s lives. 

“They told me once, ‘there's a place where love conquers all’

A city with the streets full of milk and honey

I haven't found it yet, but I'm still searching

All I know is a hopeless place that flows with the blood of my kin

Perhaps hopeless isn't a place

Nothing but a state of mind” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

pHEW GOD THAT WAS LONG. I hope you all enjoyed the fic! This was my first published attempt at angst and whump and while I feel some parts are cringe. I am proud of what I made. 

Big thanks again to @dilfbatman for inspiring this fic. The inspiration of the title is the song Hopeless: by Halsey. The quote about I’m Sorry is from the character Shadow Maya Amano from Persona 2: Innocent Sin. And the poem at the end is the first part of the lyrics to the song Good Mourning by Halsey. 

[sunnys-rewatch-blog]

S2, E10

"Touched by an 'A'-ngel"

Jason's house has been broken into like, three times now. He is being way too cool about it. If Peter Hastings hadn't put an end to this poor man installing a fucking fence, maybe he'd have some privacy.

So much to unpack with this "weird photos of Aria" thing. First of all, there is no scenario I can think of where this would make sense for Alison to do. It reads like the writers are just using her as a scapegoat because they wanted to shock us, without regard for whether or not it made sense. If you're going to set us up to look at something a certain way just to give us a shock factor, the alternative can be used to develop characters and teach a lesson. But the girls never learn not to to jumping to conclusions like this, and I don't think Ali's motives for this are ever explored. It makes about as much sense as if you told me the milkman dropped a roll of film behind your bush, and contribute about as much to the story.

"Jason, you have to admit, this looks really bad"- that's rich, coming from you, Aria. Personally, I think the worst part of it is that your friends broke into his house. TWICE. Does it not occur to any of you that no one has to live their whole private lives doing only what "looks good" to you?

Here we go with this weird club thing.

Yep, this looks like a good place to talk to your (former) teacher about your secret relationship. Right here at the high school where he was a teacher a few weeks ago, months at most, during college fair day when the place is crawling with people.

A stable is a really odd place to go on an impulsive detour for lunch. Don't you usually have to make reservations for this kind of thing? I have never seen a place where you could just show up like this.

Why does Kate assume Hanna has any idea what's going on, here? It was Mona who said she went to this camp. They just rolled up here and didn't even ask if she was familiar? Even as a course of conversation? I'm imagining Mona starting a sentence like "This one time, at Equestrian camp-" and Kate squealing her tires straight into this parking lot.

Kate would have been a more effective villain in Season 1, before Hanna fully re-bonded with the other girls.

I understand Hanna having no knowledge of horse riding techniques, but has she really never seen one up close? Even at a fair or something?

I would still swear Ezra knew Aria's friends knew.

I don't think anyone ever mentioned what a shit friend Hanna is to Mona. They spent the summer bonding only for Mona to get dropped like a hot rock. On my first watch it really took me a while to warm up to her, I remember wishing Hanna would drop her as a friend- and she has been rude and generally terrible sometimes, to the point that I would fully respect it if Hanna did fully drop her for something like bullying Lucas or pressuring her to skip school in front of her mom- but some of their interactions are painful for other reasons.

How long was that microphone broadcasting? There was quite a bit leading up to Hanna's offensive comments. I'm not saying the rest of the conversation would have made that easy to hear, but the context might have softened the blow. I would like to think, if it were me in Kate's position, I might have been hurt and confused but I'd realize I had to make peace with her not liking me or wanting to share hobbies. I would take it as a sign to back off. Of course, I'm a full grown adult with a different life history and mindset. And I'm not a villain.

Why does Jenna talk like she's narrating a Stephen King novel?

Marlene was definitely reading either Twilight or one of it's derivative works when she was deciding how to write Ezria.

Kate's phone call with Hanna could have been written by a dungeon domme.

How many sessions did these girls go to? I only know about two, maybe three each. They're talking about it like they were going for months.

[hobbitsnapes]

The Red Hoods Protègè chapter 6

Older Damian Wayne x ofc

(Photo made by my lovely friend @bakketsux)

Summary:Red hood has taken a young vigilante under his wing and subsequently changes Damians life forever. (I suck at summary’s)

As Damian goes down the steps of the cave he hears his father talking to Grayson, the conversation coming to a halt once he enters the large cave.

He walks over to his suit and takes his shirt off to slip into his uniform. “You’re not going out tonight, dick is going with me this time.” He turns around and looks at his father as if he has grown another head. “Why aren’t you letting me go out tonight?” He asks as anger bubbles in his chest, why wouldn’t he want him going tonight? “You’ve been reckless lately, going too far with others and endangering everyone around you due to your temper.” “Are you talking about her, is that what this is all about?” “Yes it is. I can’t understand what it is she’s done to anger you so much and I’m tired of it Damian.”

Now his anger has doubled at his father's confession. “Why doesn’t it bother you that her and Todd are out and killing! You used to be SO angry every time I came close to it and now you couldn’t give a damn at what they are doing!” “Because they are adults and there’s nothing we can do about it Damian!” His father's voice booms around the cave as his anger grows. “Yes there is and you know it!” “We do NOT EVER do that again Damian and you know that! You know what that costed us by making that mistake!” The two yelling at this point. “WELL IT FUCKING WORKED DIDN’T IT!” “”I SAID WE WILL NEVER GO THAT FAR AGAIN DAMIAN! JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING WE DON’T APPROVE OF DOESN'T MEAN WE GO THAT FAR! YOU ARE NOT IN THE LEAGUE DAMIAN! YOU ARE NOT A DICTATOR!” Bruce’s face is red with anger and a vein pops out of his forehead as he yells at his son.

Damian storms off and out of the cave. He goes into his room towards the bathroom and rests his hands on the sink. He bows his head as he tries not to shake at the anger filling him. Why doesn’t it bother him? Why is he letting them do these things over and over but would get furious if Damian were to do it himself?

His anger rises until he hears his door open. He looks at the door and sees dick walking over. “Come on, come and sit.”

Damian walks to his bed and sits down beside him and puts his elbows on his thighs, resting his head in his palms. “Why doesn’t it bother father at what they do?” Damian asks. “Well why does it bother you so much in the first place?” “I don’t fucking know, maybe it’s that they’re out killing people!” Damian feels his anger bubble up again at the idiotic question. “Or is it that you’re bothered that Bruce doesn’t care as much but would be angry if you did it?” Damian says nothing at what he says but looks at the ground. “Jason’s been this way ever since..well..that night. Bruce has tried time and time again but it’s never worked. He can’t change Jason no matter how hard he tries. He holds that standard higher for you because not only are you his only true son, but also because he doesn’t want to fuck up like he did with Jason. He’s said before that what happened to Jason to be his greatest failure. He doesn’t want something like that or worse, to happen again.”

A tear gathers at dicks eyes at the memory, the pain of finding out his brother was murdered so brutally. And the pain at what he became from being so broken.

“I guess you’re right grayson. Sometimes you can actually be intelligent.” The two chuckle at that. Growing used to mocking one another. “Once in a blue moon dames.” A silence fills the room until dick looks over at Damian again. “Are you angry at the fact that she’s your age and doing this?” “No of course not! It doesn’t matter how old or who she is to me grayson.” “Alright then, I’m heading out before he comes up here to drag me out there. I’ll see you later Damian.” “See you later.”

The soft plush of the bed along with the soft cushion of the pillows did little to nothing for the pain in her side.

Each intake of breath brought a sharp pain no matter how softly she tried breathing. Each time she moved she felt the sharp pain again it and made the young woman groan. ‘It’s just a cracked rib, how can it hurt so badly?’ She thought. Though it might also be from the costochondritis from running after the crack.

She slowly starts to sit up, a groan leaving her as the pain shoots through her side. Before she can reach for her medicine on her nightstand, her door opens and in comes Jason holding a new ice pack.

“Thanks dad” she says as she grabs it from him to lay on her side. “Your welcome, do you need anything else?”

He says as he stands beside her bed looking around her table, looking to make sure she has enough water and aspirin. “I’d honestly feel better if I was out in the living room, I feel like I’m going mad just laying in bed all day like this.” “Okay here let me help you up.”

Jason bends down and puts a throw pillow on her side and another hand in hers. “Okay easy easy easy.” He says as he slowly helps her up, a small groan leaving her as she rises to her feet. He puts his hand that was holding the pillow to her back and walks her to her door and opens it for her.

They walk through the kitchen and into the living room, he lets go of her as he piles the pillows up on the couch so she can sit up. He holds the pillow again as he helps her onto the couch.

He runs off and enters her bedroom and walks to her nightstand. He grabs her old ice pack and her medicine and walks to her door, but before he leaves he looks at her bed and notices the plush bear on her bed and grabs it, he steps out of her room before shutting her door.

She smiles as she sees him walking towards her holding her stuffy and medicine. She grabs the bear from him and brings it close to her and inhales in the scent. It still faintly smells of the familiar perfume if she really tries to find the scent and a small smile graces her face.

“When was the last time you took your medicine?” He asks as he looks at the clock on the wall. “I was just about to take some more before you walked in actually.” She says as she reaches for the bottle. She takes out 4 and takes them with a large gulp of water, a wince leaving her at the pain of them going down. “Hey be careful.” “Yeah yeah yeah I know dad, it’s just a cracked rib.” She smiles as she rolls her eyes at how protective he’s become over her. “And inflammation to the cartilage. I don’t like seeing you hurt is all.” He says as he takes a seat at the foot of the couch. “I know dad, but don’t worry so much, remember I’ve been through worse before.” “And if I could I’d make sure you’d never get a cut or a bruise. I hate knowing it’s my fault that you got hurt.” He looks down as he says the last part, a somber look taking over his face. “And I was the one who went out to help you. You can’t keep blaming yourself each time I get hurt, remember I chose to take this life.” “And sometimes I wish I never let you.” A small laugh leaves her at his words. “Yeah and how well would that have worked at stopping me?” He chuckles at that. “Yeah don’t remind me, you’re as stubborn as a fucking Mule sometimes.” “Oh yeah and you aren’t?” She says with a chuckle and a raised brow. “That’s besides the point missy.” He laughs.

A small silence comes over the two. “Wanna watch a movie?” He asks as he looks at her. “Sure.” “Lord of the rings?” He asks “always”

He sits up and goes over to the movie rack that seems to be getting larger each week. He pops in the fellowship of the ring, she smiles as he knows this one to be her favorite of the series.

He goes back to her and sits at the end of the couch and presses play. The two sit and watch the first half of the movie before a yawn escapes her mouth. “You tired bub?” “Yeah just a little bit. Can you hold me?” She says as another yawn comes out. “Alright come here then.”

He moves off the couch and helps her scoot forward as he settles behind her and lays her head back into his stomach. A hand going into her hair and scratches her scalp. A hum leaving her as her eyes grow heavier. “Get some rest okay” “okay, I love you dad.” “I love you too bub.” He says as he bends forward to kiss the top of her head. His other hand going to her face and running his finger over the sides of her face. The motion slowly putting her to sleep.

He looks down at her and smiles at the peaceful look to her face. Her eyelids flutter and he can’t help but wonder what she’s dreaming. His hand still Combing through her hair.

He looks around the room and smiles, the apartment feeling less like a bunker and more like a home as he looks at the pictures on the wall. A wide smile breaks out on his face at his favorite. It’s of the two at the state fair, he’s holding the camera High above them and both with wide smiles covering their faces and his arm holding her close to him. He remembers the day as if it was yesterday.

She hadn't been there long, being a father to her for only a month at that point and still trying to figure out how to bond with the young teen. Him failing miserably each time he tried as it felt like each time he tried it’d push her away further. A sorrow taking over him each time she’d retreat back to her room.

He was at a loss on what to do. Until one day on patrol he noticed a flyer on an electric pole for the Gotham state fair. He mentally hit himself over the head at not thinking of it.

When he got home that night he found her in the kitchen at the counter, eating what appears to be yogurt. “How was it tonight?” She asks as she looks down at the floor. Shocking him as she rarely speaks. “It, it went well. Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow?” “I don’t ever leave, so no.” She says as she looks at him. He scratches the back of his neck, hoping this will work. “Well the fair is tomorrow, do you wanna go?” She perks up at the question as a small smile graces her face. “Um, yeah I’d love to. I haven’t been since I was a child. Do you, think I’ll be well enough to go?” She looks down again at the question. He puts a hand on her arm and looks her in the eyes with a warm smile on his face. “I think you’ve been well enough for a while bub.” She looks up at him with shock at the nickname. He panics at the realization of what he called her. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say-“ “hey hey it’s fine, I don’t mind it” she reassures him with a smile on her usually blank face. “Alright then, how about you get to bed now, wanna go at 8?” He asks. “Yeah that’ll work, and okay, have a goodnight.” She starts to walk away and he turns around to head to the bathroom but stops in his tracks at the feel of her wrapping her arms around him from the back. He turns around and hugs her back, a large smile on his face. “Thank you. For everything.” She mumbles into his chest. “No problem bub, get some rest I’ll get you at 7:30 okay.” She let’s go of him and hurried back to her room. A large smile on his face.

He hasn’t ever seen her smile so much in the month she’s lived with him. She’s a ray of sunshine as she looks around at everything with the largest smile on her face.

He can’t help but mentally take photos of her as she wins a plush pink dolphin at a dart game that he swears is rigged. He laughs at the gleeful laugh she lets out on all the rides they go on. He bits his nails in worry as she climbs the rock wall climb and lets out a cheer as she reaches the top.

It’s getting late as the two go to the Ferris wheel as their last ride before heading home. A smile on her face as they strap in and head up. He watches her as her face is full of aw at the lights below her once they reach the top. “Thank you, this has been one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.” “It’s no problem, I’ve had a lot of fun too.” She looks down at her lap and picks at her nails. “You okay?” He asks. “Can, we take a photo?” She asks as she looks up at him. “Of course we can.” He takes out the camera he bought for this very purpose and wraps his arm around her and flashes a huge smile at the camera as they head down.

He smiles at the memory and looks down at her. He can’t believe how much his life had changed in a year all because of her entering his life. He never thought he deserved happiness after all he had done, he had given up on almost everything until she came in. A small tear gathers at his eye at the idea of what life would be like without her in it. Before he knows it tears are running down his face at the thought of losing her, what would he do if she was gone? What if he made a mistake one night and she left or, he can’t stop the pain in his chest at the thought was too hard to think of until sobs wracked his body.

She wakes up to her head being shaken and the sound of broken sobs alerts her awake. She looks behind her and fear fills her at the sight of Jason with tears running down his face.

She sits up fast and ignores the sharp pain as she wraps her arms around him. He wraps his arms around her and shakes as he is now sobbing fully. “Hey hey hey, what happened are you okay dad?” “I’m so scared I’ll lose you. I’ve, I’ve lost so many people and I’m so afraid you’re next.” She clutches onto him tighter at the confession.

She lets go and hold his face in her hands and looks him in the eye. “Hey listen to me, you won’t lose me, I’m never gonna leave you okay, I made that promise remember?” “But what if, I fuck u-“ “no you won’t dad, you won’t I promise. I’m never gonna die on you, do you hear me? I won’t because I couldn’t do that to you ever.” She goes and hugs him again. “I love you so much bub.” “And I love you dad. I’ll never let go jack.” “You did NOT just make a titanic reference.” “Yes I did.” The two laugh together as they hold onto one another.

As the days of not being able to move without help go by she grows excited at the idea to do things again on her own. As days turn into weeks and weeks turn into 2 months she hardly feels any pain anymore from her rib.

The cut on her thigh healed within 3 weeks of the night and as she can become more mobel she goes out of the house more and more again. She starts going to the park again to do her daily jog to bring her endurance up again. And after a week she’s back to how she was before and excitement grows at the prospect of going out at night again.

As she jogs along the sidewalk she hears the sound of paws hitting the concrete behind her until she looks down and sees the same large black dog she saw those months ago.

She bends down to the large pup and scratches behind his ears again “hii big baby, you miss me? Cause I’ve missed yooouuu.” She coos at the dog and he again falls onto the ground and rolls over. She scratches his belly as his tongue falls out his mouth as happy pants escapes him. “You’re just the cutest little thing aren’t ya, ohh you love the scritches ohh don’t ya!” She laughs as he sits up and starts licking her face. “Oh someone loves givin kisses. Such a pretty baby.”

“You know I swear, he likes you more than me.” She hears someone laugh from behind her and sees Damian. A smile on his face at the sight of the two.

She looks at him and can’t help but look in aw at the sight of the man. Once was he wearing a dark suit he’s now dawning a black long sleeve turtleneck that hugs his muscular frame and accentuates his envious waist and form fitting grey dress pants. His hair free from the gel he had the last time, his hair looking soft as the wind blew it back. His once scruffy face now clean shaven and showing his impressive bone structure.

“Maybe it’s because I have a magic touch then?” She chuckles back.

Damian laughs as he bends down to rub Titus belly. The dog overjoyed at the extra love he’s getting from the pair.

Damian looks at her and can’t help but take her in. Her crystal blue eyes being the first thing he notices, they’re a step lighter than a sapphire gem. Her face having a light dusting of faint freckles that are most prominent on her nose, her lips a stunning shade of a fresh rosebud. Her cheeks taking on a faint red as his green eyes take her in. Her jet black hair no longer in a small bun like the last time but taken down and shortened. It now grazing her cheekbones as soft curls taking over and giving it bounce. She’s wearing an ivory blouse with 3 buttons on the front and stretchy jeans that accentuate her strong thighs.

“Would you like to go sit on the bench over there with me?” Damian asks. “I’d love to.” She says with a smile.

The pair standing up and walking over to the dark grey bench. They sit as Titus jumps up and sits in her lap, a loud laugh bubbling up from her at the dogs obvious love for her. She scratches his head as he closes his eyes at the touch.

“He really seems to have taking a liking to you.” “I’m afraid he has hasn’t he.” “Tell me, what’s your secret?” Fear takes her over at the question, thoughts running through her mind at what he means. “How did you get my dog, who usually doesn’t like new people, to fall in love with you so fast?” Damian says with a smirk. Fear no longer coursing through her as a chuckle leaves her. “Don’t know Mister Wayne, maybe it’s my charm.” “Please, that’s what people call my father. Just call me Damian.” He looks at her again with soft smile and even softer eyes. “Okay then Damian.” She chuckles. “I was wondering, are you preoccupied with anything tomorrow evening?” Damian asks, his heart beating faster as he asks the stunning girl next to him. “Matter of fact I’m free tomorrow evening. Why do you ask?” A smile gracing her face. “Well I was wondering if you’d accompany me to this Italian restaurant that’s opening.” A wide smile takes over her face as she looks down. A strong shade of red taking over her cheeks at the question. “Would Titus be joining us then?” She asks with a knowing smile on her face. “I’m afraid not, it’ll just be me this time.” Damian says with a smile at the game she’s playing. “Welll, I guess I can do that.” She says as she looks him in the eye. “Well then in that case, I guess I should write down the address then.”

Damian says and stands up and heads towards the picnic table that isn’t far and grabs a napkin from its holder and sits back down beside her.

He writes down the address to the restaurant and hands it to her. Their hands meeting briefly and a warmth fills the two at the touch. “Meet me there at 6:30, just wait at the door and I’ll be there.” He says as they stand up. “Alright then, I’ll see you then.” “I’ll be looking forward to it.” He says with a smirk. “As will I, Damian.” She says as she walks away.

As she runs up the stairs of her apartment she’s greeted by one of the neighbors that appears to be leaving. She waves at them and unlocks the door.

She looks around and sees Jason in the kitchen cooking a thing of chicken and onions. “Hey buttercup, how was your run?” “Really good actually, and hey I’m gonna be gone tomorrow night if that’s okay.” She says hopeful. He smiles at her shyness. “Of course you can, just be careful okay?” “Thank you! I’ll be in my room for a while okay.” “Alright, love you bub.” “Love you too dad.”

As she walks by him she kisses his cheek and a smile covers his face.

She runs to her room and shuts the door and looks at the napkin that was in her pocket. She reads the beautifully written cursive and sees something she didn’t notice at first. Below the address on the corner it reads ‘if possible wear a dress but don’t worry too much about how you look. I bet you’ll look amazing either way.’ She beams as a giggle escapes her as the excitement grows in her. She can’t wait for tomorrow night.

Tags: @comic-nerd-dc @psychovigilantewrites @bakketsux