#maybe if i toss and turn and experience fresh undiluted Torment again i'll get my Torment juices flowing!!!

[leatherbookmark]

yknow what i'm trying to make things less stream-of-consciousnessy, and i am actively Uncomfortable. it's not bad per se, it's readable and possibly even more enjoyable because instead of a dense forest you have to machete your way through, there's a neat little path, but also it feels just plain wrong. what is this. who wrote it. why are there only two sentences instead of a detailed description of all body parts aching due to a particular Emotion. ???

it might be because i did a risky thing and wrote the backstory down -- i was struggling to make the dialogue more straightforward while keeping the right level of emotional entanglement and torment, so i had to lay it out in bullet points. risky thing, because i always fear that if i talk or think too much about my projects, i'll end up, idk, "pouring out" all the passion i have for them, and none will remain for me to actually write/finish them. it feels like it's happening right now, and i'm really not liking it! :0000

it's earlylate again, even though i promised myself i'll help my body get rid of the cold and, yknow, go to sleep earlier, so maybe i SHOULD go to sleep earlier, wake up with a clear head and try again, but. augh. can you imagine? losing the steam because i did the normal, GOOD thing and sketched the thing out like god intended? i'd die. i'm praying it's not the case