#maybe if i just lose more weight i'll look masc but i know it's my frame itself that's feminine

[sapphodelia]

why did i have to be born with huge tits and curves... i'm butch but i feel like a joke when i see my silhouette

[crisppclick]

My Oc's!!

Hello, my lovely people. It is coming to the end of my holidays, and I need to post as many things as I can.

And I'm gonna start with a few of my Oc's. (Specifically my favourite ones.)

One thing about me is that, I imagine alot about stuff, try to get it on paper, then struggle and or give up to actually show my work.

But this also changes now; if I'm gonna start getting any way, it's by expanding my branches (they said lying).

<This may include some sensitive topics, so just be careful as you read

So, yeah ! If you care at all, here they are:

Meet Noa

This is the pegasus that ppl have most and only heard about (and even at that, not a lot), and they are my favourite.

They're missing an eye and half an ear and has alot of burn marks of the left side of her body.

They're the twin sister of ubercorn, Ex- military (now works alsong side Ubercorn at GJA), and a very traumatised individual.

Them and Ubercorn got separated in an unforgettable civil war in their homeland at a young age, and that is all you need to know for now. (If you do want more rough context, I'm pretty sure you know my account on wattpad [crisppclick]. There is a four chapter book called World of tomorrow, which I'm not updating any more :P)

They are non binary and Aro/Ace.

Think of them as rainbow dash, just much more matured.

I have had this Oc for so long, but I still can not decide on the frickity fracking hair style. So if I do end up drawing them more in the future, expect to see some changes.

Meet Kee-Kee

Fuck yeah; tired masc lesbain coming thru.

She loves to rought it up. Which I don't blame her for since she was brought up in such a household ( something to note of the side: she was the oldest to about 7 other siblings). Unfortunately, I love to make my character's mentally unstable.

Her dad, knowing the dangers of the wider world, trained her physically (and mentally) to prepare for any challenge. Kee-Kee was born with a deficit, which made it very difficult to lose weight. Because it was the olden days, her dad didn't understand this, and he would beat her because she wasn't "hard enough." Her loving mother protested against her father's ways, which began to teat their marriage apart.

Her father left. And left them with very little. Soon, she and the siblings that were old enough had to take care of a sick mother and younger siblings who couldn't fend for themselves. A hard knock life indeed.

And Kee-Kee, started to blame it all on herself. She talked to her mother about it. And it took a little word in her ear that she could do anything, despite of what ever her father did to her. So with the support of her remaining family, she was about to start a business, a very small cute one, but still a business (TO THIS DAY, I have no clue what business, so like, use ur imaginations ig)

Her business got her family up and running and she was able to get medications for her mother to start recovering; happy days, happy ending.

Until the civil war (LMAOOO, MORE DESTRUCTION MUHHAHAA.)

Because she grew up a big house, she quite the strong big sis figure. Think of her like Apple Jack, but a drag king; a lot of my oc's are based on other TV shows, lol.

Meet Pip

He's quite recent oc actually! And crucial one in an au, (I'll talk about it in future).

He's just a small baby. Found infront of a river bank. They thought he's just a cute weird looking ram, hit there is much much more to him than that.... cue ominous music

Uhm— yeah, I think that's pretty much it to Pip at this moment, erm. Yeah 👍

And uhmm, that's also it for all the ocs I'll show at the moment !

Maybe I should talk about where all these guys come from in my next post.

:]

Ok bye.

[stephaniedola]

sorry guys i gotta vent a bit

- tw body dysmorphia/dysphoria

- tw eating disorder brief mention

i've always had a bit of a complex about my body. i mean who doesn't have a little body shame, in this day and age? still, I've never been one to feel particularly bad about it. sure on certain masc days i bind and find emotional relief, and sometimes i felt like maybe i binged too much or was bloated and "looked like shit" because of it even when it wasnt true. but in general i liked my body!! just, you know, society made me feel like I shouldn't.

often, I've had the thought "if i just lost a little weight maybe I'd feel better about myself" even though my weight was never something i was ashamed to carry. i was never particularly "fat" by societal standards, even at my highest weight

so this year in January, when i first noticed the unintentional weight loss, i was happy at first. like, sure, I'll take it. let's see what happens. but i got sicker, and it keeps happening, and it's out of my control

my body is sick. it hurts me. but its not even just about how i feel physically.

now, I can't look in the mirror anymore without feeling weird. my joints jut out at angles i never noticed before. my breasts are smaller, and awkwardly shaped. my skin when its wet, when I'm straining, or by the end of the day is translucent, purple, and veiny. i have no hips anymore. no ass-- it hurts to sit down for long periods now. i almost dislocated my fucking pelvis in the shower last night just from sitting for christs sake

i just worry, without doctors listening to me, and with a doctor even saying "well, at least you're not losing weight" and me having to point out, "well actually, i am, but you didn't even weigh me today, so how should you know?" that no one even cares. i mean, i lost weight. i should feel happy.

idk. i hate even talking about this bc in the past my body was always just this broken vessel that at least was beautiful in my eyes.... now, its like. i can't even reckon with what i see when I'm undressed. its not even me.

I can't blame "society" anymore when all i get is compliments on how much weight I've managed to shed. this is just my own self-loathing. i genuinely just hate what i see.

I'm losing more of myself with each pound i shed, and I don't know how to cope with that