#maybe i've just seen one too many bastardized dionysos expies but ive HAD IT with this

[sov-en-garde]

an open letter to the prince of debauchery

tw for discussion of manipulation, implied suicide, alcoholism; a propos of the recent “sanguine is different from moldy boldy discourse”

you say you’re different from him. but when you boast of being what kills me, your smiles look the same.

i don’t get it. yes, yes, “we daedra are beyond your puny mortals’ comprehension”, i get that, whatever- but i don’t get this. you respect sexual consent. you made that clear from the start. you said that makes you different from him. but what about all the other kinds?

do they just not matter to you? what if i don’t want another drink? what if i don’t want to stay a little longer? what if i don’t want to do these things i’m doing that you say i should, that i can, that it’ll be okay and i can deal with the consequences later? how do you hear “maybe” or “i’m not sure” or “fine, alright” and think that’s an enthusiastic yes? what if there isn’t a later? how will you know how far is too far when you’re not looking for where the road ends either?

or... do you know?

do you know when the cliff drops out- when to pull back- how to fill the cup until just one more drop would make it run it over... and lead us there anyway?

i know, i know, you’re a daedric prince. i know, i know, your morals- if you have any- are different from ours. i know, i know, i shouldn’t have expected for one of you- just one of you- to not hurt us, and not because of any active effort on your part to be what mortals consider “good”, but... just because it wasn’t in your nature not to be. just because the thought never occurred to not care about us.

i mean, there can’t have been only eight et’ada who cared and were strong enough to survive, right? even if it took you a while to realize how much this world is worth- there must be a way to survive and be kind, right? unless... unless you can only have power if you’re willing to fuck people over in some way- but honestly, in that case my question then would be more along the lines of “what absolute fucking asshole thought this was a good way to design a universe?” ... but i guess that doesn’t matter to you either.

“overindulgence” and “only a little fun” my ass. you’re just using us for your own pleasure. exactly like he is. i thought you were different from him. i thought you might have even cared about your followers. (i know. that one’s on me.) but when i’m staring down the end of my life at the bottom of a bottle i didn’t truly want to drink, all i can think is:

i should have noticed how familiar i found your grin.