#maybe i'll get it for my birthday next month lol

[littlejazzy]

My Baby Your Doll pacifiers came!!! They're very cute and my thorough review of them is below the cut!

Okay, so prior to this purchase, the only pacifier I've had has been the standard, common adult pacifier aka the one with the NUK 6 styled silicone frosted teat aka the one LittleForBig calls the Gen 1 - I've had no issues with this size of pacifier nor its teat, but when I saw these they were so cute I just had to give them a try!

The Round Soother

This style soother is soooooo cute and I'm so happy that I like it! It's a very pleasant color, and despite being silicone, it's extremely reminiscent of brand new, shiny latex! The shape is a pleasant fusion of those old fashioned all rubber pacifiers and those sweet and gentle looking, modern, all silicone ones. I could've gotten the teddy bear shape, but this particular one called to me!

This soother has a unique teat that BabyYourDoll designed herself, and I'm happy to note that it's very pleasant to use!! I was very nervous about the size of it, as it's longer and bigger than a size 6 teat, but thankfully once it's in my mouth, tongue laying against it, it's pretty comfortable.

It's really neat that it functions exactly like a baby's soother, in that it's capable of deflating and inflating - technically, I suppose I'm only supposed to deflate it when suckling on it (like how a baby would use it)... but I discovered that moving my tongue a certain way pulls on the teat enough that it inflates (the concave part of the teat comes out) and makes a fun noise (kinda reminiscent of a heartbeat tbh) and it's pretty fun!!

When using it as intended though, it's nice and soothing... but it's also kinda noisy!! There's definitely an audible suckling noise if you're not suckling on it very carefully, which is something I'm going to have to be mindful about if anyone's walking beside my bedroom door (my house has thin walls......) It is possible to use it silently, it just takes a bit of time to find where and how to move your tongue to do so.

All around, it's a very nice soother! When using it mindlessly (like when watching tv) it's very... soothing (lol). That being said, I do wish that it tapered a bit more towards the base, as it's ever so slightly a bit too tall for my jaw. To be specific, it forces me to either keep my jaw ever so slightly more open than it would be when relaxed or to bite down a bit - the latter of which isn't recommended to do for long periods, as this can lead to jaw pain and/or teeth pain. Sadly, as I used to have braces and now have to wear a retainer once or twice a week to prevent them from shifting, this is also something I'm going to have to be mindful of, as my teeth are very susceptible to moving with any kind of pressure.

Also!! Due to being all silicone, the material wants to attract fuzz and hair - this isn't a problem for me because I don't have any pets and will only take it out when it's going directly in my mouth, but I also did notice a small, thin strand of my hair got stuck on the outside when I had laid down with it, and it took a second to properly grab it and remove it. You also gotta scratch off any itty bitty pieces of dead skin on the inside, lol.

There's also a taste - I can't describe it exactly, but it's there. I guess it's just a silicone flavor, and it's possible my old pacifier used to taste like this and I've just forgotten, but it's there. This is after I've sterilized it in boiling water and washed it with dish soap and hot water (plus the other pacifier) btw, and both have the same taste - it's not bad, and you forget about it after it's been in your mouth for a bit, but I just wanted to state it for the record.

Oh! it's also possible to stick a finger or thumb inside the teat! It's pretty neat and provides a cool texture and a different feel when suckling, but also it's kinda fun to nom down on it! I also feel like it's sturdy enough to gently teeth down on it without fingers in it and is also a fun sensory experience.

Everything being said, I would recommend this pacifier to anyone! Most people have larger mouths than mine, so the size wouldn't be a concern and, if anything, would probably be appreciated. (I also assume that most people don't have to worry about their adult teeth from shifting, haha) It's cute, it's unique, and if the latex look isn't your style, it's also available in solid white and transparent blue - or, if you like the bear shape, in transparent pink and transparent purple!

The Classic Round Pacifier

This pacifier is also so cute! It's a dead ringer for the old fashioned latex pacifiers, like the ones that I always saw on old tv shows and old movies! Specifically, it's clear that it's inspiration is the BIB styled pacifier, which has been in production since 1978 - a very classic look! It's a dead ringer for their De Lux line, with it's larger button - which is because the BabyYourDoll pacifier is made with the intent for easily swapping the teat and/or the button and shield around!

It comes with two different teats, both designed by BabyYourDoll, so you won't find these specific teats anywhere else. The color is more reminiscent of slightly aged latex than brand new latex, but they're still silicone! They're ever so slightly textured to further the similarities, but is overall still very pleasant to the touch.

The first teat is the orthodontic style, which is the same one that's on the soother, so all my thoughts on that teat and how it functions is in the previous section - however, I'd like to note that even though they both appear to be the exact same size, in practice I can tell you that when placed inside the round pacifier, it reaches ever so slightly further back than the soother's teat does - Unfortunately, this means it triggers my extremely sensitive gag reflex (which is so sensitive that it sometimes triggers when I brush my back molars, rip) which I think is good to know if you also happen to have a super sensitive gag reflex.

Thankfully, the second teat (the one pictured) does not trigger my gag reflex, as long as I don't force the entire stem into my mouth. Hurray! (Though, it is a near thing. As long as I suckle it back, it's all good!)

It's a cherry styled teat, which while it's less common in pacifiers nowadays, was very common back before the benefits of orthodontic teats were known and preferred. It's very interesting to use - basically, your tongue presses against the bulb, flattening it against the roof of your mouth! Sadly, the teat has a seam along the top and bottom of the teat, and I really wish it was along the side, so it wouldn't be pressed and sliding along my tongue. It's kinda annoying if you use it too long :/

I also wish the taper along the stem was ever so slightly thinner for the same problems as listed previously - I guess my jaw/mouth is just a bit too small (I don't know why I'm surprised, I did have to get all my pre-molars removed to make space for my teeth to be straight).

Besides my grievances, it's a very cute pacifier. Sadly, I'm not likely to use it much with the included teats due to the problems mentioned. If your mouth isn't medically small (a very scientific term, lol) and you don't have a sensitive gag reflex, you'd be just fine using it.

Sadly, even though, as stated earlier, it's designed to be be very easily taken apart to be modified... it's only designed to be used with the included BabyYourDoll teats. The standard Nuk 6 teat is too small and just doesn't fit.

I probably will only be pulling it out for pictures or if I'm in a teething mood, tbh.

Final Thoughts

While these two pacifiers are very cute, I think I'll still prefer the company of my ol' reliable pacifier.

I'm happy I tried both of these styles, even if one was less suited to my particular needs than the other. It's a very useful lesson, and I'm happy to learn it sooner rather than later - now I know to stick with the NUK 6 teat, as I now know it's sized perfectly for my particular mouth!

I hope this review is useful and informative!

[keeps-ache]

so Apparently a game i was running on my computer (without a cooler thing for a good minute there, because i guess i thought i was invulnerable to heat) may or may not have burnt out some parts of my machine. and it's been a couple months since i've played it bc it just stopped working one day and i just had to accept that lmao- but anyway i'm booting the game up again today, Surely this will go differently :3

[rosietaeyongswife]

shameless | kim doyoung

AU: angst, fluff, drama, cheating au, readerxtaeyongxdoyoung SYNOPSIS: Marriage was supposed to be your dream. You were in love with Taeyong, until you came to realization that maybe he's not the one. Thankfuly, his best friends was there for you when you needed him the most. WC: 8k TW: cursing, cheating, mentions of sex AU: i do not support any kind of cheating. never. it's a pure fiction. yall i think i've improved my english lol one day i'll fix all my works because lmao yeah enjoy this pls:P

Marriage. How foolish of you to think it's going to be a dream come true. Well, everyone else stated that fact. According to them, marriage is one of the best stages of life. You've reached a certain point in life - perhaps an achievement. Too bad none of them said how much of a burden it can be.

Of course, the first few months were perfect. Dates, flowers, and affection. Isn't this what every woman craves? Kisses, gifts, and affirmations from your loved one. Those things blinded you. Only if you knew back then. Maybe then you would've left. It was your choice to ignore all the red flags. It's been a year, and it's a nightmare.

"Baby, can you do laundry?" You were running late, yet Taeyong does nothing. He could help you, at least. "I have to leave already. I showed you the other day how to do it. Will you do it for me, please?"

Taeyong was playing Call of Duty on the PS4 you've bought for him on his 27th birthday. He was focused on the game.

"Sure. I'll do it."

Without any other word, you left. Sometimes you'd like to smash that PlayStation into pieces. Taeyong does nothing around the house besides playing that damn thing.

It was a late call meeting with your work team. You couldn't focus on the words of your co-workers due to that weird gut feeling. Something deep down felt like something would go wrong. Ignoring this wasn't helping at all.

"Y/N, we want you to manage this project with Chaeyoung. Is that alright with you?" Your boss asked while you were drifting in your thoughts. "We believe your reviews and suggestions would make this successful on the market."

"Of course, I'll handle this."

"Thank you." He looked at the watch. "Okay, it's 9 p.m. We're done for today. I'm sorry we had to hold a meeting. It was a surprise to us too. You can go all home now."

Everyone left in a hurry, and so did you. The weather got worse, and it was raining. You couldn't get cold, so you called your husband. Silence. Again silence. He didn't pick up your calls. All you could do was run and pray that a bus would arrive.

"I called."

"Sorry, baby. I was too busy with the game. Look, I ranked up."

"That's amazing, but it's pouring outside, and I had to walk there by myself." You rolled your eyes at your husband's ignorance. "I'm fuckin tired. I just want to take a shower and go to sleep. Have you done the laundry like I asked you to?"

"Yes. It wasn't that hard." He laughed and turned the PS4 off. "I'm heading to sleep. Waiting for you in the bedroom."

At least he did what you had asked for. Walking in the bathroom was hopeful for you. Little did you know how much anger it would bring you.

"Taeyong! What the fuck have you done?!" Your husband was quick to run back to you. He was looking at you confusedly. "How could you ruin my white shirt for tomorrow? Why would you put red socks together with white laundry?"

"My bad. I'm sorry, honey." He looked at you with his doe eyes. "I didn't notice, sorry once again. I'll give you money to buy a new one."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" You scoffed. "I needed that shirt for work tomorrow. It's past 10p.m, what am I supposed to do? I asked you for one thing, and you managed to fuck it up."

"It's just a shirt, Y/N. You're overreacting. You can buy another one."

"It's not just about the shirt, Taeyong. You don't understand." You went next to him. "I don't have any clothes for work. Fuck."

Taeyong apologized once again and went back to the bed. He didn't really care about the fact that he ruined your shirt and left you alone past 10 pm, looking for clothes for work. He difted away to sleep while you had to hold your anger in yourself and calm down.

Your husband and you both work for the same company. You work in different departments and both of you start work at different hours. Taeyong got up and left an hour before you. As usual, you woke up to dirty dishes on the table and a cup of coffee on the counter. He didn't respect the fact that it was you who was cleaning the whole apartment.

"Look there. I guess you could've described another problem here, and we would put it together." Chaeyoung was taking notes on your words. "Do it, then send me the rest of the thing. I'll try to finish it by Friday."

"Thank you, and of course, I'm doing it."

Mark Lee was sipping on his coffee when he approached you. He was your best friend and best colleague from the company. Both of you go along pretty well.

"Someone's not in the mood today, huh?"

"Mark, please." You stopped on your way. "Don't get on my nerves today. It's not funny at all."

"Sorry, Miss Not in the Mood." He chuckled. "You slept on the wrong side, or what?"

"I slept on the right side."

"Then what happened?"

"Taeyong happened." Mentioning of your husband made your head hurt. "I asked him for one simple thing. Do laundry. That's all! Guess what." Mark was waiting for you to finally tell you the tea. "He ruined my shirt for today. I was tired, hungry, and annoyed, and on top of that, I had to find myself clothes for today."

Mark could only laugh. He was aware of your husband and how clumsy he can be.

"How did he even do it?"

"He put red socks and underwear together with white clothes. The majority of clothes were pijamas, but still. I didn't ask for much. I explained how the washing machine works about ten times!"

"Everyone makes mistakes, but your husband is crossing the line, Y/N. I'd be mad too. Yesterday was a horrible day."

It's almost the end of the month, so everyone is worked up. Every project needs to be finished ASAP, clients are waiting and aren't patient, and on top of that, your boss is scolding you for every little mistake you've made.

"You should be thankful you don't have to deal with it."

Another day went the same way. Today was another hard day, and the only thing you wished to do was fall asleep, but it seems like you won't be able to do that.

"Honey, I missed you."

Taeyong was looking at you with lust in his eyes. Deep down, you knew what he was about.

"Not today, sorry. I had a rough day, I'm exhausted."

"C'mon. I missed you and your body so much." He began to kiss down your neck. "I want you."

Anger was boiling in your veins. It's like you're talking to a wall.

"I told you no, why don't you give up? I'm not in the mood, I had a tiring day, and you expect me to fuck?"

"Fuck, Y/N." He stopped and put his hands into his hair. "We haven't had sex in months, alright? I have my needs, I'm fuckin horny, and I want to fuck my wife. I want us to feel good, yet you're always too busy to do so."

"I fuckin told you I'm tired. You're so, so.." His gaze went upon you. "Pushy. Leave me alone."

"Great."

The last thing you've heard was a door shutting. He left, and God knows when he'll be back. Like a kid. Your husband behaves like a spoiled child. Nothing ever satisfies him, and he wants things his way. Nothing in between.

Once you've been reading about all those unhappy couples who have sex once in a while, don't talk too much, or don't even know too much about each other. They're just together because they get used to each other and are way too comfortable to let go and leave. Little did you know you were going to face the same fate.

"Fuckin hell." You rolled your eyes. Taeyong wasn't picking up your calls when it was an important matter. "Boss, can I go into the marketing department to meet my husband? It's urgent."

He didn't even look up, but he nodded. Men.

The marketing floor was only three floors higher. Of course, you've known the majority of people working there thanks to Lee Taeyong. A few employees passed and greeted you.

Johnny was sitting by his desk, probably busy with his tasks that needed to be done by today.

"Hi, Johnny." He sent you a smile. "Do you know where Taeyong is?"

"Oh, hello, Y/N. Shit. I think he might leave for a lunch break with Jaehyun and Yuta."

"He did."

The voice was familiar to you. Turning your head, you saw no one else but Kim Doyoung. Your husband's co-worker and best friend.

"Fuck. Thank you, guys."

"Something did happen?"

"I wanted to ask him to drive me to Kun's bakery. It's Jaehyun's birthday in two days, but they need me there today. I guess they couldn't find a sample?" Doyoung was looking at you with his soft eyes, while you were stressed. "Nevermind. I'll go."

"Wait." Doyoung grabbed his coat. "I'll drive you. It's no problem for me. I'm on the break anyway."

Your whole body relaxed at his words. Somehow you felt different, because Taeyong usually rejects your requests, but Doyoung? He agreed right away.

As both you and Doyoung were on your way to Kun's bakery, Taeyong called you a few times. Asshole.

"Thank you, really. You have no clue how much this matters to me. You saved my day, Doyoung."

"No worries, I mean, I'm just driving you to the bakery. It's not hard, or something."

"I fear some people wouldn't agree." Doyoung glanced at you for a second. "Nevermind. Thank you, again. I bet Taeyong doesn't even remember we booked a cake at Kun's."

Both of you laughed at your remark. Doyoung was aware of how clumsy and nonresponsible his best friend can be.

"It wouldn't be Taeyong if he didn't forget about such a thing. But hey, look at you. You're about to solve a problem with Kun and come back to work, and you didn't need Taeyong's help."

"Wow, I'm so independent now. Not like you drove me there, at all."

Kim Doyoung was a year younger than Taeyong. Both of them have known each other since high school. Then they applied to the same business school where you met Taeyong. Both of them graduated and found a job at Lee Sooman's company. Like you did. Doyoung was different than Taeyong. He was clean, tidy, and he could cook. Everyone could depend on him when needed. He never let any of your friends down. Never. If you needed help, you should've called Doyoung. He was stylish and looked like an old-money guy. None of your friends, nor you, have seen him date. He probably had a few girlfriends, but they weren't serious, as you guessed.

"Well, I can pay you for-"

"Y/N, please." He stopped you mid-sentence. "Don't pay me at all. I had a great time picking a cake with you."

"Me too, Doyoung. Again, you're wonderful."

Taeyong was looking at you through the window of his office. He was calling you for an hour, and he had no response from you. He was a bit worried, but as he saw you with Doyoung.. He was relaxed.

Mark was smiling from ear to ear. He saw you coming into the building with Doyoung from the marketing department.

"What were you doing with Kim Doyoung?" He was moving his eyebrows in a funny way. "He's cool, right?"

"I had an emergency at Kun's bakery, yet my lovely husband wasn't picking up my calls." Mark scoffed. "He gave me a ride, and yes, he's a cool guy."

"Jaehyun's birthday, right?" You nodded. "I bought him a watch, and what about you and Taeyong?"

"I don't know. I was supposed to buy a cake, Taeyong is going to buy a gift. Please, I wish he had already done that."

Jaehyun's birthday is always a party at his house. He invites a whole friend group on the weekend, and makes a dinner. Everyone is drinking and having fun together. It was supposed to be an amazing day, but only if your husband didn't ruin it the day before.

"What do you mean you forgot?" Taeyong was stressed too. He knew he was meant to do something, but he had no idea what exactly. "Taeyong, you promised me you're going to buy him a gift!"

"Fuck, I forgot! Couldn't you do it? I'm busy with work, so it wouldn't hurt, Y/N."

"Are you kidding me?" You put on your coat. "I'm also working, I'm cleaning and cooking, I ordered the cake for Jaehyun's birthday, and both of us agreed that you're going to buy a gift!"

Every favor you're asking Taeyong for, ends in the same way every, fuckin, time. You can never depend on him.

"I help you too! Don't make me look like I'm some kind of lazy jerk. I simply forgot, things happen, okay."

"And what are we going to do? Are we going to show up with a cake for his 27th birthday and say sorry, but Taeyong fucked up once again?" The sarcasm in your tone was noticeable, and your husband wasn't a fan of it. "Do you even know what he likes?" Taeyong couldn't answer as he had no thoughts. "I knew it. God."

"Where are you going? It's past 8pm, and it's freezing outside?"

"None of your business. Clean after dinner. That's the last thing I'm asking you to do."

Cold February nights like this make you wonder about your life. Lately, both you and Taeyong have been fighting. You couldn't even remember when the last time both of you exchanged "I love yous". Are your friend's marriages the same? Do they fight a lot? Do they fight every day? Do they overcome it? To you, it seems like an endless circle.

Luck was with you tonight, because the old vinyl shop was open until 9. You made it on time to buy a jazz vinyl record for Jaehyun. He was a huge fan, everyone knew it, except Taeyong.

"That's a hundred dollas, mam."

The last shop you're going to visit is one owned by Haechan's uncle, who sells prestigious wines from all around the world. It was just a few blocks away.

As you were looking for a wine thatJaehyun hasn't tried yet, you've noticed familiar sillhouete.

"Doyoung?"

"Y/N?" He turned back with a gummy smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Emergency. Again."

"Mark mentioned that Taeyong was supposed to buy a gift, right?" He was visibly confused. "Then why are you here?"

"Key word 'supposed'."

For the first time ever, Doyoung felt bad for you. He always thought that you're a couple goals. Back in the day, you couldn't shut up about Taeyong. Either of you, were talking about each other, still in love. Taeyong never complained, nor did you. To be honest, every single one of your friends thinks you and Taeyong live your dream lives. Only Mark knew it was total opposite.

"I mean, maybe he was tired? Everyone works hard these days, people tend to forget things at times."

"Doyoung, please." You laughed sacristically. "I agree, but Taeyong always forgets about something. Doesn't matter if he's tired, or not."

For the time being, Doyoung had no explanation, nor could he defend his friend.

After a few minutes, Doyoung helped you pick a wine and took you home. It was another time he saved you. He was kind enough to drive you home.

"See you tomorrow, Y/N."

"See you too." As you were about to go into the building, you turned around. "Again, thank you."

Taeyong was asleep in the living room with a TV on. Typical of him. You looked over, and once again, Lee Taeyong disappointed you. The dishes were in the sink, not washed. You put the gifts down and did the dishes yourself.

Morning was a tense one. Neither of you speaks to yourself. The only thing you said was that you're going to pick up the cake by 5 pm. It was Saturday, and both you and your husband had a free day. Taeyong was probably waiting for you to make a lunch or something, but it wasn't your plan. You made yourself some waffles and ate them by yourself.

"Where's some for me?"

"Don't you have hands? Do it yourself."

He was looking at you in disbelief. Taeyong was used to you cooking and serving him food.

"Why are you bitching? I've already apologized. What else am I supposed to do?"

"I'm not bitching. I just made lunch for myself." He was getting annoyed with you. "It seems like I'm some kind of housewife to you. I'm not. Learn to do things yourself."

By 5pm, both of you were getting ready. It's been a long time since both of you went together somewhere. Taeyong stopped asking you on dates long time ago. Of course, you missed those silly dates. Your husband doesn't put effort in.

Taeyong was waiting for you in the car, while you put everything into a bag. One last look into the mirror, and you were looking pretty. In your eyes, everything seems fine.

"What are you wearing?" Taeyong almost burst laughing. "Honey, go change yourself, I don't think you look the best in such a dress."

For a moment, you felt stupid. Your own husband laughed at your look, even though you thought you looked great. A knee high, black dress and boots with a coat. Everyone was wearing that. It was a cute look.

"What do you even mean?"

"It's not made for you, I guess? I don't know, I just want to help you to not get emberrased."

"Oh, fuck you, Taeyong."

There was no time for changing, besides, you felt cute. A month ago, you would've run into the apartment to change but not today. You tried to ingore peaks Taeyong took. He hurt you. You thought you could ignore it, but as soon as you arrived, your self esteem was six fit under.

"Hey guys! Wow, Y/N, you look stuning!" Jaehyun welcomed you with a kiss on the cheek. "Suit yourselfs."

Jaehyun complimented you, but inside of your head there were Taeyong's words.

In the living room, everyone was waiting until Haechan would arrive with his fiance, Jimin. Johnny was sipping on a coffee with Sooyoung. Taeil was taking photos with his wife, Joohyun. Yuta, Jungwoo and Jaehyun were making food. Mark was laughing with his girlfriend, Soyeon. Doyoung was looking at you and Taeyong, when both of you arrived. Doyoung couldn't stop himself from looking at you. This dress complimented your body and your bueaty the best.

"Everyone let's drink. It's our Jaehyun's birthday." Johnny stood up with a glass of champagne in his left hand. "I can't believe you're already 27. We're all happy to be here and celebrate with you, dude."

The party was going great, everyone had fun, and none of the guests seem to be annoyed, or not having fun. Taeyong found himself sitting with Yuta playing games and drinking beer.

"Men are like children." Joohyun sat down next to you on the coach. "I can't believe they're almost in their 30s."

"Don't tell me that. Look at them, they're playing on the PlayStation as if they were teenage boys."

"At least we can have some time to ourselfes."

Joohyun was right. She was with Taeil since freshman year of the college. She was three years older than Moon Taeil and she was one of your closest female friends. Everyone looks up to her, since she was the oldest one in the friend group.

"Can I ask you something?" Joohyun looked at you waiting for your question. "Do you fight with Taeil often?"

"Hell yes! We fought in the morning because he didn't clean the bathroom like I asked him to."

"Did he do it after you had scolded him?"

"Of course. What kind of question is that?" She laughed at you, but you were dead serious. "Wait. Doesn't Taeyong do the same? You know, if you scold a man, then he's kind of irritated, but do it anyway out of respect for you."

"He doesn't. You see, I asked him to do something. I show him how to do things properly, so he won't have to need my help. I explain it like I'm speaking to a child. I do it about ten times per chore." You giggled at yourself. "Guess what. He doesn't do it. No matter how much I ask for, he either forgets, or doesn't do it at all."

Joohyun, for the first time ever since she has met you, felt bad for you. For the first time ever, Taeyong doubted her.

"I have no idea what to say, Y/N. It's not supposed to be like that. You're a duo after all."

"I don't think we're a duo, Joohyun."

For the rest of the night, Taeyong didn't give you attention, which you were thankful for. He got on your nerves enough. He was hanging out with his homeboys, enjoying himself, not worrying about you. In his mind, both of you have a perfect life. You are happy together, and you're madly in love. Maybe love is starting to be a too strong word for your feelings towards that man.

"Are you fine, Y/N?"

Doyoung smiled at you when you were sipping on a lemonade made by Johnny and Mark.

"I'm just tired after work and all this shit. And you? Are you fine?"

"It could be worse." He chuckled. "I see Taeyong isn't with you."

"Thank God. He's busy playing games."

"Still. I haven't seen you talking yet."

"We had a small fight before."

A reminder of that situation from before made you self conscious again. Your husband's words aren't supposed to make you feel the way they do.

"Was it serious or?"

"Not really. It was about my outfit, so nothing extreme."

"What do you mean by your outfit? You look stunning, I swear to God."

"Doyoung, can you be honest with him? We've known each other for almost ten years. We're friends." The man was busy thinking about what might come next out of your mouth. "Do I look bad? Be honest. Do I look worse than before? I don't know, am I not taking care of myself?"

It was a question directed at Doyoung because he was a person from a friend group that you've known for the longest. Actually, it was Doyoung who introduced you and Taeyong to each other. He knew him from high school, and he met you during the same classes at the business school. Kim Doyoung was a lovely nerd. Interested in Star Wars, books, and business. He used to collect plushies, he even gave you some of them. You always have wondered how Doyoung's world crushed with Taeyong's. Lee Taeyong was a popular jerk, interested in tattoos, rock, and trouble. For quite some time, you had a small crush on Doyoung. But then, you met Taeyong, and you fell head over heels over him.

"I don't see the point of this question. Isn't it obvious? Many guys from the department have a crush on you. I saw multiple strangers turn their necks when you passed by. You've always been pretty, Y/N."

"Now I feel better. Thank you, Doyie."

He was looking at you, once again, with his soft eyes. Sometimes, he wonders why you work him up so much.

"No problem. Remember, you're that girl. Don't let anyone say otherwise."

As you were about to respond, Taeyong showed up. He was drunk, and he could barely stand on his legs.

"Did you just call my wife pretty?"

"I did. We're friends, though. It's not that deep, Taeyong."

"I don't know, maybe you want to do something with her?" He was approaching you and Doyoung. Embarrassment fed your whole body as he got closer. "I don't like the way you talk to her."

"What's your fuckin problem, dude? I complimented her, since no one else bothers to do so. Like her husband, for example. Get it together, man."

You wish you could be gone for a second. Taeyong was drunk, and he had no clue what was going on.

"Shut the fuck up, Doyoung. You don't know shit."

"Calm down. You're wasted as fuck."

Everything that came after is now the past. The next thing you knew was Taeyong punching Doyoung straight into his nose. Blood was dripping on his shirt, and guys tried to grab him. You were shocked, and all you could do was scream at your husband. He was never that aggressive towards someone.

Jaehyun and Yuta were holding Taeyong, while Johnny and Haechan held Doyoung. Both males were calling each other names, while you wanted to disappear. Everyone was stunned. They had no idea such a storm was coming tonight. Best friends fighting over nothing.

"I'm leaving."

You got up, took your purse and coat, and left. Sooyoung called after you, but you were done for tonight. There was nothing you could do with your stupid husband. Leaving seemed like a good option.

"Get in." After a five-minute walk, a black Mercedes parked by your side. It wasn't your husband, though. "I won't let you go alone on a cold, dark night. Get in."

"You don't have to, Doyoung. I really -"

"I won't repeat myself."

Even after such a fucked up night, Doyoung had to be the one to take you home, not your husband. Does he even love you?

A week passed by, and nothing has changed. Both you and Taeyong would only see each other in the morning. Not even a simple "Hi" was exchanged. He was too embarrassed after what happened at Jaehyun's birthday.

"Y/N, we would love to move you a bit higher." Lee Sooman, your boss spoke to you. "We found your results to be the best out of the whole company. I want to promote you to a higher position and move you to the International Marketing department. Are you in?"

It was the day that would change your life the most. Working schedule was tighter, and you had to spend more hours weekly in the company. Chaeyoung was moved into the marketing department, so she was working with Taeyong. Everyone in the new floor was a stranger to you. These days, it's hard to find friends. Especially from work. Mark would always pass by your floor to say hello, though.

"Can I talk to Y/N?" Yuta's voice echoed through the office of the international marketing floor. "It's urgent and we need her. I'm from the Japanese unit."

Na Jaemin, your new co-worker, asked you to come. With a smile on, you saw Yuta waiting for you.

"What do you need, Yuta?"

"Are you the one who is in charge of France and Italy's orders?" You nodded at his words. "Well, I think that someone messed up and their orders came to Japan, and Japan's order came to France. Can you check it out with me?"

Both of you came to your desk and typed out the information about the order. Someone from the delivery unit must have mistaken the orders, that would have cost millions of dollars.

"I think you should call the international shipping floor, there's Seulgi. She may know what to do before the boss finds out."

When you were on your way back, Chaeyoung stopped you. She was smiling a bit.

"Can you help us, Y/N?"

It turns out that marketing and international marketing are supposed to make an ad together. You were picked as a person from the international floor, and Doyoung was picked from marketing.

"I'm glad I'm working with you, Doyoung."

"Me too. I would cry, if I had to work with Jeno or Xiaojun. They're a bit weird."

"I don't blame you." You laughed when you opened your laptop. "I think we should start today, and it would take about a week for us to finish. What's the theme of the ad?"

Doyoung took a look at his papers and then answered you.

"Youth. Progression. Victory."

"How the fuck are we supposed to do it?" In your head, you saw how much of a struggle this ad would be. "Any ideas?"

The time went by so fast, none of you noticed it was past 8 pm. Both of you got to work to make the best project you could ever do. Doyoung was a smart guy, and he knew exactly what to put in an ad to make it interesting.

While both of you were working, Taeyong didn't call you at all. You were supposed to be at home at 6, yet he didn't even care. He's probably still mad at you because of the fight.

"I'll drop you at home." Doyoung put his coat on, and looked at you to check if you're ready. "C'mon, Y/N."

"I feel bad. You're doing too much for me, Doyoung." It was truth, Doyoung didn't mind but to you it was wrong. Taeyong is supposed to help you, not his best friend. "Let me call Taeyong, he would pick me up."

"Waiting for his response, then."

It's ben almost 30 seconds and he didn't pick up. Another call. And another. Nothing. He wasn't going to pick up your calls tonight.

"I'm sorry. It's going to be the last time you're dropping me at home. For real."

Doyoung didn't answer but rather smiled at you. It was cute how much you didn't want to depend on him, but you did anyway.

Both of you were in a car talking about the details of the project when suddenly your stomach made a noise.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Lunch. Sandwiches."

"Y/N, it was at 1. It's 8. Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine." Another noise came from your stomach. "Okay, maybe a little."

"We're going to eat something. I'm hungry too."

When you were about to protest, Doyoung shushed you a bit. He parked by a restaurant next to the company. Both of you ordered the same thing and enjoyed the meal together inside.

"How much am I supposed to pay you back? I wasn't looking at the price."

"Don't worry, it's on me."

"Doyoung, I can't-"

"I said it's fine." He laughed. "Enjoy your meal and stop being so annoying."

It was the first time since you could've remembered when you were in a restaurant. The last time you were in a restaurant was with Taeyong on your birthday a few months ago. You couldn't explain why, but you felt the warmth you hadn't felt in a long time.

"Doyoung, I really want to thank you for everything you're doing for me." He stopped eating and focused on your words. "I have shitty time with my husband, work is getting on my nerves, and you're too nice to me'' It felt as almost you were crying. "You have no idea how much it does mean to me."

"Y/N, stop. I do it, and I'm not complaining at all. I like to spend time together, and it's not your fault that Taeyong is such an asshole. I wish he was a better husband. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally."

After that, your evening got better. Doyoung took you on a small car trip around Seoul. He showed you some streets you hadn't seen before. Deep down, he knew you didn't want to come back home as soon as possible. He parked for a minute by the Han River.

"It's an amazing place. I feel like I'm 17 again, me and my friends go on trips here to follow our crushes from school."

"I did the same thing with boys. Me, Yuta, and Taeyong with Jonny would be here every day after classes because of Taeyong." He was laughing at himself. "Because of him and Kang Seulgi, we were here every day for hours. He wanted to look at her and ask her out. It never worked though, because she left for some time, then we were in business school, and he was dating you."

Kang Seulgi? Seulgi from the delivery department? From you company? Taeyong had crush on her? Suddenly you felt lightheaded, your vision became blurry, and tears appeared on you eyes. You had to take a few deep breathes to calm down.

"I've never heard about Taeyong and Seulgi? Why?"

"Fuck. I wasn't supposed to tell you then." It was an accident. Doyoung believed you were aware of Taeyong's first love. "I shouldn't tell you. Sorry, Y/N."

"It's too late, can you tell me more?"

"I shouldn't. I already have said too much."

"Doyoung, please. Taeyong never told me about Seulgi. I had no idea about another girl."

You felt hurt a bit, not because you were jealous. You were hurt because Taeyong was probably lying to you for these years. Was he in love with a girl that got away? That's why he doesn't care. You're not the one Lee Taeyong loves.

"They were seeing each other for months. He always had a thing for her. She rejected him a few times because she was supposed to move to Daegu for some time." Doyoung was looking far ahead, he didn't dare to spare you a look. "Seulgi left, he was depressed for weeks, then I met you. I introduced both of you to each other." Boy, how much does he regret that. "He was focused on you, then Seulgi came back. I guess they tried to talk, but he was dating you already."

"Now it all makes sense to me. Fuckin asshole." You weren't even hurt anymore. It seems like all the feelings for Lee Taeyong are gone. Even hate. "We've been together for the past 8 years. I've focused on him. I was like a maid! He was never there for me when I needed him the most, but I forgave him. I always did. I did this all to find out he was never truly in love with me. Bullshit." A sarcasstic laugh left your mouth while Doyoung was observing you. "Why would you ever introduce him to me? I would've dodged the bullet, Doyie. I wish you didn't."

Doyoung felt guilty, even though he shouldn't. In his eyes, Taeyong was a good man. He was sure his friend was treating you like a princess.

"Sorry, I felt he would be a good party for you. I don't know. But you can't say he doesn't love you. You don't know that."

"I think we both know that."

Awkward silence occurred between you.

"Listen, I do believe you deserve better. Don't mind him, maybe one day he will see what he has lost. Look at you, Y/N. You can't get such an asshole like him to make you feel bad. I love him, he's my best friend, but you're my friend too. I wish you would be happier."

His words were true and meaningful. Doyoung was right. You deserve better than that. In the heat of a moment, you turned your head towards him and kissed him.

"Fuck, sorry. I shouldn't, I don't know what I was thinking-"

He stopped you with a kiss. Much stronger kiss. It was like your mouths knew each other well. As if they were missing pieces together. It's been a long time since you've been kissed.

Best friends don't kiss each other's partners, and a wife doesn't kiss her husband's best friend. That was the truth. It's been a few days, and it was awkward between you and Doyoung. Taeyong apologized to you, and he tried to be a better man for you. Somehow, you felt a bit guilty because you were married, but honestly? You wished to wake up to Doyoung every day instead of Taeyong.

"I made you breakfast."

Taeyong got into the bedroom with a plate of toast and scrambled eggs.

"Thank you."

"That's it?"

"What else am I supposed to say?" You popped your eyebrow. "I've done breakfast for you for the past 8 years, give me a break already. It's the bare minimum, Taeyong."

"I thought you'd be happy."

"I am. Okay?"

It's too late to fix things now. Breakfast in bed won't fix the damage that has already been done to you. Deep down, you wanted to feel guilty, but you just couldn't.

In the company, everyone was busy. It's April. One of the busiest months for the company. You had hopes of passing by Doyoung. Your project got accepted, whichh made your comapany's saels higher. Mark would drop by to talk shit about your co-workers. Johnny bought you a coffee, and Sooyoung called to go shopping with you. Everything should go fine.

About 7 pm, when the company was almost empty, you saw a well known to you figure. He was putting his things together, probably about to leave the building.

"Can we talk? Like adults, please? Ignoring each other won't turn back time, Doyoung."

"It's not the best time for this conversation, the building is about to close down."

"Then let's talk somewhere else. Even at the stupid bench in the park."

He took a second to rethink his life decisions.

"Let's talk at mine."

After 15 minutes, both of you arrived at Doyoung's apartment. It was located in the center of Seoul. It was maybe the fourth time you've ever been there.

"I know it's bad and awkward. I'm married to your best friend, and we kissed each other, making out even." You chuckled because of your nerves. "I shouldn't have kissed you, I guess. Sorry. But please, let's talk. I kinda miss you." He looked at you, a bit shocked. "As friends, of course."

"Well, I really want to say I regret kissing you. Really." He was pacing around the living room. "But it would be a lie. Honestly? I enjoyed it, and I would do it again, and again, and again. I don't give a fuck about Taeyong now."

His statement made you blush. He was confident in himself and sure of what he was saying.

"Fuck, me too. I know how wrong it is, but I can't help myself."

Nothing else needed to be said. Doyoung dropped everything he had held. He was kissing you like a starved man. As if he hadn't been able to see you for ages. It's a forbidden romance, and you're enjoying it.

Next thing you knew was you being in his bedroom. He was slowly kissing you down your neck, while his hands were taking off your clothes. Everything felt magical.

"Can I?" He asked with hungry eyes, his fingers on the hem of your pants. "Please?"

"Please."

It was the best sex you've ever had. Taeyong usually didn't pay you much attention. He wanted to cum and he could care less if you did. Doyoung paid attention to you, and only you. He was focused on making you feel good. He loved your body and moans you left out your mouth.

"You're amazing. I wish it was me who dated you back then." Doyoung was holding you in a spoon. His fingers were circling your shoulder. "I like you."

"I like you too."

Since then, it has become a routine for you. Taeyong wasn't suspicious of anything. He was busy working with Seulgi. He couldn't lie, but he preferred to stay at the company until late hours to finish tasks with her. He thought you were having fun with Joohyun or Sooyoung. You and Taeyong barely talk to each other, but none of you seem to mind. This marriage was meant to fail from the beginning.

"Y/N." Mark touched your shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"

"What were you doing at Doyoung's apartment last night? I was there to drop him off his laptop, but I saw you coming in."

This question made your heart drop. Romance between you and Doyoung was supposed to be a secret until you'd be responsible enough to divorce Taeyong.

"We're friends? And co-workers? I was doing research with him." You giggled. "What are you even thinking of?"

"Fuck, sorry. I shouldn't have asked." He was a bit embarrassed. "You wouldn't do anything harmful to Taeyong. I thought you were doing something weird with Doyoung."

"Mark, please. How could you think about it?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen you talk in weeks. He's always around Seulgi, you're meeting with Doyoung a lot, and both of you leave at different hours." He was a bit confused. "Are you guys fine?"

"Yes, we are fine, Mark. Don't worry too much."

The thought of being almost caught scared you. Your friends wouldn't understand you. They would blame you for cheating on your lovely, hardworking, and amazing husband. Especially, if you're cheating on him with his best friend. You were lonely, and you lost feelings for Taeyong long ago, he himself probably had lost them first, a long time ago.

"I know." Joohyun's word made you stressed. "Taeyong called asking about you. I covered for you every single time. You're cheating on him, right?"

It was supposed to be a chill meeting at your apartment with a coffee and cake. Joohyun loved you as if you were her sister.

"Before we go any further, don't judge me, please." You couldn't look her in the eyes. "I'm ashamed of myself, but I think that's how it was meant to be. You don't understand how it is to be with Taeyong. How is it to be unloved and ignored."

"Y/N, I'm not judging you at all. Me and Johnny support you. At first, Johnny was furious, and he couldn't believe it." She chuckled. "I guess, me too. I wasn't ready. But look at this. After Taeyong? I really admire you, and how you were able to move on with life.

"I know I'm the worst person on earth because of that. I'm ashamed to face him and tell him I want a divorce."

"Well, it's not a surprise. It's a tough topic. Let me ask you another question. Is it Doyoung?"

"How do you know?"

"It's obvious. Every time we've been gathering together, he could never take his eyes off of you."

After that, Joohyun and Johnny promised you to keep a secret. They didn't support cheating, but they couldn't blame you. Everyone thought you were living a great life with Taeyong, only to turn out it was the total opposite.

"I'll divorce him."

Doyoung was sitting on the chair on his balcony with you on his lap. He was finishing his glass of wine. As soon as he heard that, his eyes met yours.

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything." He said, slowly carrasing your back. "I fear that Taeyong won't forgive us. I may lose my best friend."

"At first, I thought the exact same thing." You kissed his cheek. "But now, I completely hate this guy. I lost my femininity, myself, and energy because of him. I can't look at him, because all I see is how much he hurt me and me cheating on him."

"I'm here. I'm going to support you no matter what."

Both you and Doyoung told your friends you needed to go on a trip to Jeju. You had the time of your life there. Taeyong was texting you once in a while. Doyoung made your life interesting. He gave you something Taeyong could never.

Dark nigths going on a walks on the beach. Singing songs in a karaoke bar or in your room. Doing stupid teenagers shit. Life with Doyoung was different. You felt loved.

Joohyun invited everyone from the friend group to a BBQ. It was a usual Friday. Mark was in charge of drinks with Jungwoo. Johnny was in charge of the music. Taeyong was busy with his phone, while you and Doyoung cut fruits like Joohyun asked you to.

It should be a peaceful night. Only if Seulgi didn't show up. After she came, the atmosphere tensed. Jaehyun felt uncomfortable, so did Yuta and Taeil. You tried to ignore it, but Seulgi was all on Taeyong. In public. In front of everyone's eyes.

"Why is she here?"

"I don't know. Joohyun probably invited her." Doyoung sipped on his drink. "That's wild."

"It is. That's why I hate him. Look how shameless he is."

After some time, everyone was busy with something. Some were dancing, and some were singing old hits. You were on the coach, looking at your friends having fun.

"How are you, Y/N?" Jaehyun and Jungwoo sat down on both sides of you. "We saw you're sitting like a potato here."

"I'm not drunk enough to go up and dance."

"Then drink more!" Jungwoo handed you another drink. "We're having fun tonight!"

"Exactly. You can't be depressed or something."

They were right. Soon after, you had almost five different drinks, most of them being mixed with vodka. You were dancing with the girls, then with Yuta and Doyoung. You really had a lot of fun. Until Taeyong turned the music off.

"Everyone! Can I take a second of your time?" Everyone was confused. Your heartbeat was faster, and your hands started to sweat. "I'd like to share the wonderful news with you!" He was drunk. Drunk like on Jaehyun's birthday. It means trouble. "I don't know if any of you are aware of me and Y/N. My lovely wife."

You were quick to stand up and grab Taeyong.

"Let's go. Get yourself together you're embarrassing me."

"Let me go." He got out of your hold. "As you know, we've been married for 8 years! That's a long period, right? Well, I think someone might get bored of one another."

"Taeyong, please. Stop it."

Tears came into your eyes quickly. Everyone witnessing the scene was confused. Joohyun was fast to send Johnny to get Taeyong somewhere else.

"Johnny, leave me alone! I'd like to share something with you! Our lovely, sweet, and faithful Y/N is a cheating bitch! That's right!" He was laughing devilishly, while you were on a verge of a breakdown. "Isn't it crazy? We all think about her as of an angel. Look at her. She's not all that."

"I don't think you should do it, man." Jaehyun tried to get Taeyong's attention, but he wasn't listening.

"I should. My wife is fucking my best friend, and I should stay quiet? No way! Tell us, Y/N, how long have you been fuckin Doyoung?"

People left gasps. They all turned their heads towards you. Johnny and Joohyun felt anger. He should never done this to you in a public.

"Let her go, man. I'm not kidding." Doyoung stood up and pushed Taeyong. "Are you crazy? Did you forget about fuckin Seulgi? You're not saint after all."

It felt like a nightmare. Everything was going so fast, and you could only stand there shocked.

"I was faithful to her for the longest time ever! And look how did she pay me back."

"Don't be funny, Taeyong." You managed to say it, while wiping the tears away. "How can you do this to me? After what I've done to you. I never told anyone how much of a burden living with you was! Not even once! I was there with you when I was doing every chore for you! Every little thing you needed! I let you fuck me when I wasn't in the mood, because I cared about you!" You were screaming on top of your lungs. "Y'all can judge me. You can throw names at me, I don't care! I've never been happier. None of you understand what I went through."

Your friends were in shock. They never would guess what was coming. You and Taeyong fighting in the Johnny's backyard with a people around. All the dirty things you've ever done were mentioned.

"Don't act like a victim."

"Am I not? You were using me for everything. I lost my will to live, Taeyong. You're a selfish motherfucker, who had never loved me. You've been in love with Seulgi since the beginning. You lied to me, ruined my life and I wasted all those years."

"I want a divorce."

"Me too. I hate you, Taeyong."

With that, all your group friends were confused. Joohyun, Johnny, and Doyoung gave you support. Taeil and Sooyoung reached out to you too. Mark,Haechan, Yuta and Jungwoo were confused about what to do. Jaehyun had no idea what to think, until Johnny changed his mind. They were uncomfortable with everything that'd been said that day.

Taeyong blocked your number, packed your things, and threw you out of your shared apartment. You had no choice but to move in with Doyoung.

"I love you, Y/N. I think I always did."

"I wish I had married you first." Both of you chuckled on the way to the court. "Imagine what we would have done in these years. I'm grateful we have so much to explore about each other."

Doyoung never let you down, or doubted you, or your trust. He gave you loved, you were craving for. He was a missing puzzle to your life. He helped you understand yourself, and improve yourself.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lee, oficially you've been divorced. Mrs. Y/N, succesfuly, you dropped Lee from your last name. I wish both of you happines on a new life's path."

It would be the end of the chapter titled Taeyong, now you're beinning a new one with your true love.

[trippinsorrows]

are jey's kids really bad or is that just roman being a grump?

oh no, they are bad. lol you ever seen bebe's kids? imagine that.

something like this....

-----

"i want the shipment moved no later than—" the sound of an object crashing and shattering interrupts roman, the speaker shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

third.

this is the third goddamn interruption in under half an hour, and there is no doubt in roman's mind that the cause is the same as it was the prior two times.

and judging by the look on jey's face, he thinks the same too.

standing up, he turns his body toward the house and calls out, "hey, what ya'll doing!"

jimmy snorts and takes a sip of his beer. "ain't it obvious? breaking shit."

jey shoots his twin a look that's the equivalent of 'shut the fuck up' as jey moves onto requesting the presence of his unruly children. "ya'll, get out here now!"

at that, roman scowls. "can't you go to them?" roman could go the rest of his life without being around jey's children, and having already had the displeasure of interacting with them twice today thus far, he's reached his max.

jey starts to offer a rebuttal, reminding his cousin that it was roman who wanted to have the meeting at someone's place other than his. something about the twins being 'destructive'.

it's not like they didn't pay for the repairs on the maserati.

roman grabs his own beer, downing the rest as one by one, the result of jey not being smart enough to use a condom—all four times—come running out, mischief written all over their faces.

but, jey is more focused on the black eye on one of his kids, the matted hair of another, and the small cut on the eyebrow on a third kid.

"what the hell done happened to ya'll?" he doesn't wait for a reply, reminding them, "jordan, were you trying to kill josiah again?"

jordan looks just as unremorseful as he feels, defending, "he deserved it!"

at that, roman actually agrees. out of all of jey's wild offspring, josiah has always been the most irritating.

he probably had it coming.

"how many times i gotta tell ya'll? you can only beat each other up to fight, not to kill!" jey blows out a breath, hands over his face. he sounds as exasperated as roman feels. maybe it's worth whatever destruction his cousins cause to just have meetings at his house. that's not as taxing as being around this shit.

journee, a little nicki in training, just has to chime in, pointing like the snitch she is, "he was being a little bitch, daddy!"

"aye!" jey interrupts, voice firm. "what i tell ya'll about all that goddamn cussing?" he doesn't wait for a reply, scolding them yet again, "stop using all that fuckin' language in my motherfuckin' house!"

one of the kids rolls their eyes, the second oldest boy, roman guesses, is quick with a smartass reply. "mama said we ain't gotta listen to you."

"she said what?"

jimmy shakes his head, murmuring to roman as he gazes at the uncovered pool, the sun reflecting off the lights at the bottom. "here we go...."

"she said you a bit—"

"that's enough!" jey marches over to the table, snatching his phone and mumbling to roman and his twin about being 'right back.' the last thing that's heard is jey laying into nicki, "who the hell you think you are telling my kids—what was that? bitch, i know you not with ole' dude again! man, i'll kill his ass and make you watch!"

the kids, thankfully, disperse back into the house.

roman is ready to pass on his parting words to jimmy and be the fuck gone. the desire for a good workout—or fucking—growing by the second. he might have to hit up sasha. sam was on that shit last time, and he's already in a foul mood.

but, a tug on his sleeve prevents him from doing that, roman's disdain painted over his handsome face. "what?" he asks, gruffly.

jayla rolls her brown eyes and only extends out her open palm. "my birthday is next month."

"and?" roman's more likely to wish jey's youngest daughter a 'happy accidental existence' day than 'happy birthday.'

however, she's undeterred, reminding, "my money?"

that, however, makes roman chuckle. he'd almost forgotten that out the four, she happens to be his favorite unfavorite. he don't like none of him, but she's not as intolerable as the rest. and her hustle is impressive.

pulling out his wallet, he asks, "how old you turning? 5?"

"i'm turning 7, uncle roman." she scoffs, maybe to herself, or him. "old people...."

at that, roman pauses, "you want the money or what, kid?"

she looks down, sheepishly, as roman counts out three hundred dollar bills, laying them in her waiting hand. "there. now don't bother me again until next year."

it's an easy request for the almost 7 year old, her eyes wide as she imagines all the robux she'll be able to get.

stuffing the money into her pocket, she nods and offers appreciation. "good to see you, uncle roman." roman shakes his head as jayla moves over to jimmy. "uncle jimmy....."

however, jimmy is not roman. "girl, i ain't got no money."

jayla stays true to her no filter nature. "so you're a broke ass?"

at that, roman turns his head. he actually has to hold back his smile. yeah, jayla might most definitely become his favorite at some point.

"broke ass?" jimmy, of course, fails to see that he's being baited by a damn second grader and yanks out his wallet, counting out a stack of hundreds and giving it to her. "how's that for broke ass?"

jayla looks like she just won the lottery, and at her age, she essentially just did. she doesn't bother with an expression of appreciation before dashing off with all her money.

and roman just watches as recognition dawns on jimmy's face, effectively ridding him of that goofy ass smile. "wait, that was my strip club money." he hops off the stool and goes after his niece. "get back here, you lil samoan wednesday!"

[creatoriginsane]

CoachCaptain!Oliver + FormerAthelete!OC anyone?

I've been thinking about how Oliver is ranked #1 at "Who is most likely to succeed as a coach?" here, and I wanted to try writing something about it!

(and I'm going to borrow one of my OCs from my TokyoRev series because I want a certain kind of "so bad it's life-threatening" dynamic, yeah.)

consider this my NaNoWriMo 2024 project (that will of course not be completed within the month), because it's already got an outline (below the cut) and it will be posted here. of course, since this is just an outline, it's not the full summary, lol.

so if you've got thoughts, let me know! those aged-up AUs and HCs are gonna fuel me to write this to completion before I post it.

(please be warned the below summary/outline is for legal and mature audiences!)

i can tell it hits (hits, hits, hits)

(and she tells herself she's not gonna answer the call because she's got a nice dick in her mouth, but she answers it anyway) 

does it turn you on (when I turn you around)?

(and she's driving him, she's driving him and it's only right that he doesn't recognize her) 

(not tryna) be romantic

(and is it really car sex if they're gonna fuck in front of her car, not inside it or on top of it?) 

i'll hit it (from the back)

(and she doesn't wanna kiss him or touch him or even see his fucking face, but she likes this and knows this is fine, this is great, this is enough) 

don't get attached (yes, yes, yes)

(and she thinks about everything else, anything else, about the one she really wants, the one she really loves, and what she could've been if she wasn't the rabid bitch) 

(you bite my lip) just for the taste

(and she knows she has a type, she knows he's not her type, she knows she isn't his type either) 

take the heat (and with such grace)

(and she's playing a bet with herself when she asks him if she could charge her phone upstairs, win or lose, she's going to have him like a dog will have its chew toy) 

(you say we're done) but here you stay

(and she doesn't think about the next morning, or next mornings and afternoons or even late nights, because this is fine, this is enough, and she doesn't give a fuck) 

you said you're scared (i'll let you down)

(and she doesn't want to get to know him the way she thinks he wants to get to know her because neither of them should be tied down by the icky, icky strings of the couple experience, and yet here they are) 

just stick around (and you'll find out)

(and she's thinking about what to wear when he asks if he can come over because he ought to return the favor and mess up her place once in a while, or twice, or thrice, really give her someone to deal with)

do I stress you out? (can i help you out?)

(and she considers this convenient and not complicated because the boundaries are set and the limits are clear, but she considers this complex because she doesn't understand how can he stand being with her when he has everything and everyone else)

can we make a scene? (can you make it loud?)

(and she doesn't mean to scare him off, or maybe she does, she doesn't know because all she's ever wanted isn't in him, because he's incomplete and rough and jagged and as solid as a fucking wall she can't bat her way through and destroy and rebuild again) 

(i like) the way you kiss me

(and she can tell this isn't a game he wants to play because his field will never be her diamond, he kicks and she bats, he runs back and forth and she runs in a square, she was never the star and he was never the loser, and this is how everything works out in the end) 

i can tell you (miss me)

(and she tells herself it's because she's here in his hometown and it's fucking cold, and he's got flowers for her as a welcoming gift because it's almost her birthday, Christmas is a month away, Valentine's is three months away, that she breaks)

[rabbitthedarkidol]

*Sighs* =-w-=Uu Today was a bad day, but at least I had the update to look forward. I had to download a controller to make the AR function work, but finally I managed!

Amari looks so cool in Mario's coord! I hope they let her use more punk/metal inspired fashion on the next season, whenever it is.

Btw, I don't own a copy of the disk, it just happens I asked a friend to print the cover for me a few months ago. Do you think I will get the limited edition shirt anyways? I hope so, I was planing on making a shirt with this pic. Maybe I could try to make it a replica from the one in the game!

I really love the new hair style!! Mostly because is looks really similar to mine, and I often wear odangos too, tho mine are more donut shaped. Not sure 100% If i'll keep. Like, I LOVE it, but Lala's hair had grown on me... I wish they gave us non character related hairstyles that were more big and dramatic! My ideal hair in Pripara is actually very similar to this but... BIGGER. maybe I should draw it some time when I feel better..

Speaking of Lala, she looks so cute with this variant color!! Not that i'm pulling for it, but still is lovely.

And even if I wanted Lala's clasic coords (Which is tempting) I could not afford it...

Heck! i can't even afford this this coord and is one of the cheapest on the gold line and I'm so maaaaad because I was waiting for it! Is a story of tragedy, truly. I was saving my gold for Amari's and Mario's birthday and I was around 800, but I lost 300 by accidentally buying a song...

Luckily, that song was Make it. And it's a bop.

Wich song you think we will be getting tomorrow? I hope is Chocolate Ice Cream Tornado or Strawberry Bullet because clearly I don't have a personality besides liking Amari and Mario, lol. Let's just pray is not another cover of GoGo PripaLife becau- NO WAIT, I would totally be down for Mario's versions ONLY because it would be FUNNY.

[toomuchracket]

bday girl (birthday partyverse!matty)

day 2 of The Birthday Party Project, first birthday as a couple - yours! this is my og friends-to-lovers couple, who've already had a very successful time of it at a birthday party, trying to manage your big day a mere few months after getting together. very fluffy, and very suggestive (because this pair especially cannot keep their hands off each other). enjoy! p.s. the pic of matty isn't thematic to the story, other than being an indicator of the era it's set in, i just think it's very pretty lol <3

you're abruptly awoken by the tinny synthesised beeps emanating from your phone, informing you that someone wants to facetime you - something that should be illegal at this time in the morning (7am), you think. after flicking on the bedside lamp, you fumble to put your glasses on and pick up your phone, your irritation lessening rapidly when you see it's matty calling you. you tap the screen, and your boyfriend's handsome face fills it. he beams when he sees you, although you're sure you look ridiculous, all sleep-addled and askew. "happy birthday, darlin'! how'd you sleep?"

"terribly. s'not the same when you're not next to me. i miss you," you pout. "that, and i forgot how uncomfy this bed was. no wonder my back's fucked after sleeping on this for the entirety of my teenage years."

matty laughs as he wanders through what you recognise as his kitchen. "maybe you're just getting old. nah, i'm joking, babe, it's probably the bed."

"being mean to me on my birthday? you're evil, sweetheart," you say, rolling onto your front. "especially considering you couldn't make it up here with me today. but it's your loss, considering you didn't get to wake up to this, in a single bed."

at that, you balance the phone against the pillows and sit back on your knees, allowing your boyfriend an excellent view of your outfit - his mazzy star t-shirt, tight across your tits, and a pair of dark red panties. matty laughs then groans lightly, raking a hand through his curls. "fuck me, you're gorgeous. my fomo about not being with you just got a whole lot worse," he grins cheekily. "can i request you put on that exact outfit for me as soon as you get home?"

"yeah. but what about the eroticism of being pressed up against me wearing it in a single bed?"

"hmm, i suppose the couch will have to do. although i can't really spread you out there as i intend to, can i?"

"matthew."

your boyfriend giggles, although you both know he's being serious. his face softens, a wistfulness setting into those beautiful big brown eyes of his. "i really am sorry i couldn't come up to see your family with you, darlin'. s'shite that we're swamped with album promo right now. hate not being with my girl."

matty's words warm your aching heart (and "my girl" sends a burst of heat straight between your legs. muscle memory, you think - your boyfriend likes to say it when he's between them). "s'alright. what time d'you think you'll be done with work tonight? we could do phone sex!"

"i dunno, darlin', but i like the sound of that a lot. i'll text you," matty smiles. "and i expect texts from you today as well - wanna hear what you're up to celebrating, and you better send me outfit pics too. fuck knows i'll need to look at you being beautiful to get me through today."

you've known the man for the better part of a decade and been in a committed relationship with him for two full months; and yet, the constant casual compliments matty loves to shower you with never fail to both astound and arouse you. moving forward to lean on your stomach, you kick your legs back and forth behind you, giddy. "i can do that, yeah."

"god, you're so cute," matty sighs. his eyes flick upwards slightly, presumably to check the time on his screen, and fill with slight... dread, you'd describe it. "fuck. i'm so sorry, sweetheart, but i need to head to work now."

your turn to sigh. "don't worry, baby, we'll talk later. have a good day, yeah? i love you."

"love you too, angel. i'll speak to you soon. bye!"

you say a goodbye in response, and the call ends. for a few minutes, you do nothing but stare at the ceiling of your teenage bedroom and think about how much you wish matty was with you, then you roll yourself out of bed and get ready to spend a "nice day with your family", as your mum put it.

and it is a nice day, despite the longing for your boyfriend veiling it all. you open your presents over a fry up breakfast, dancing around the kitchen in excitement at the vintage barbie t-shirt your brother bought you. when you and your mum go into town, you spend ages in the bookshop you practically lived in as a uni student, glowing with pride when the staff ask you to sign a few copies of your books, and spend even longer in the shopping centre that opened after you left for london, trying and buying shoes and dresses and makeup products you probably don't even have room for in your flat. you head to meet the rest of your family for dinner in your favourite restaurant, your mum ordering a bottle of red wine for she and you to get stuck into while you wait for the others to show up. it makes you think of matty, and the longing for him worsens. you excuse yourself from the table after greeting your just-arrived cousin, sneaking out the front door of the restaurant.

when you're outside in the still-warm early evening air, you pull your phone from your handbag and check your texts. nothing from matty since four hours ago, when he responded to your summer-dress shopping mirror selfie with a compliment so risqué that it made your cheeks go intensely crimson and had your mum asking if you were ill. lovesick, maybe, unable to cope without seeing your boyfriend for two days maximum. you're briefly reminded of those couples at school who used to make out in the corridors before having one single class apart; the thought you might be anything like them makes you shudder, and swap your phone for the pack of cigarettes and lighter also in your handbag.

you've no sooner placed the unlit cig in your mouth when you hear a familiar voice from further down the street. "don't you fucking dare light that, sweetheart."

your heart skips, and your legs go to copy them when you turn to see matty, looking tired but heartbreakingly handsome as ever, walking towards you with your brother in tow. cig in one hand and lighter in the other, you run to your boyfriend, throwing your arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he picks you up in a tight embrace and spins you round. "what the fuck?! i thought you were at work," you say, hugging matty tightly as he puts you gently on the ground. you lean over his shoulder, pulling one arm free to point accusingly at your brother. "and you! did you know this was happening? you might've told me, you little shit."

the two of them laugh at you, matty kissing your forehead before he answers. "i was meant to be working, yeah, but we wrapped promo yesterday morning. texted your bro here to organise coming up to surprise you, and drove up today - as soon as we hung up this morning, i was in the car."

"you drove?! babe, that's like a seven-hour journey!" you gasp, pulling matty into you again. "you must be exhausted. christ."

"worth it," comes the reply, muffled by your hair. "there was no way i was missing your first birthday as my girlfriend, not a chance."

you place a delicate, chaste kiss to the underside of matty's jaw. "you're so fucking cute."

your brother makes a retching sound. "i'm gonna go inside before you pair traumatise me. don't spend too long kissing out here, please, you'll hold the food up."

you roll your eyes, but matty chuckles and extends a hand to your brother. "thanks for all your help, mate."

"no problem," your brother replies, as they fist bump. "it's for my own benefit, really - the last thing i want to hear is this one whining about you all day."

he smiles as matty laughs, and then leaves the two of you alone. matty waits until the front door of the restaurant closes before he turns to you. "i, on the other hand, definitely want to hear you whining about me all day. well, more 'whining because of me', but you get the gist."

"oh my god, stop it."

"sorry, baby," matty grins, kissing you languidly. "can you blame me, though, after that outfit from this morning and the dress you tried on? it's taking everything in me not to drag you into that single bed right now."

you twirl your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck just the way you know matty likes it, looking at him up through your eyelashes. "i think you should do that."

matty's breath hitches, before he takes a deep one and composes himself. "can't - there's a whole family of yours in there that i need to play 'wholesome, charming boyfriend' to, first. but after that, darlin', i'll take you home and be as dirty as you want me to be, alright?"

"i... i love you."

"i love you too, sweetheart. happy birthday."

[dokoni-mo]

I’ve arrived with more horny william brain rot!

There is little doubt in my mind that our favorite afton to slut up likes to read. He’d probably love to share that with his darling bunny. And you absolutely know that man is making the polaroids he took into bookmarks. He just loves to see his bunny everywhere!

Bunny is in fact a college student, and sometimes certain classes end up requiring/give the option for a field trip. And that trip happens to fall on a weekend. They’re a little bummed, Willy is like actually depressed (lol), so bunny decided to hide a little something for him. As a ✨treat✨

So when afton wakes up Saturday, he reaches over for his book to read a little (because what else is there to do when his little rabbit is gone), and his usually bookmark feels a lot more lumpy than usual. So he opens it and what does he find? Polaroids of his precious, lovely bunny in nothing but his shirt, and a pair of her panties 💜

YEAH i uhhh,,

warnings: age-gap relationship (reader is 20 will is almost 40 yall know the drill), swearing, smoking, drinking, dom/sub undertones, sir kink, not proof read AGAIN IM SRY

"What? What do you mean the whole weekend?"

It had been an especially hard week for the brit at his diner. For one reason or another, it seemed as if nearly every single damn brat in that town just had to have a birthday that week. The diner was booked from start to finish every day of the week. William was frustrated. But every day drew him closer to the weekend. Closer to when he'd be able to see you again. And god did he fucking miss you. He missed his little bunny next to him; kissing them, holding them. Coming up with so many fun activities to show you.

But, it was in the past now. It was Friday. You'd be over tomorrow, and help relieve him of his pent-up stress like the good bunny you were.

Right?

Wrong.

"I knowwww, I'm sorry!" You pleaded with him at the other end of the phone, the older man taking a long, drawn out puff of his cigarette, "I just totally forgot about it until today!"

William sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, leaning against the wall, "And you're certain you have to go, love?"

"Yeah..." you sighed back, "It's required for my major. And I already rescheduled it last month, too. I can't do it again or I fail."

"Bunny, the weekends are our time together. You know this."

"I knoww, and I'm sorry! I'd stay behind if I could but I just can't. I'm sorry, Will. I'll be back for next weekend though!"

William took another puff of his cigarette, "Are you certain you can't come over even for a little? I... I miss you, bunny. It's been a tough week, and... I want you."

You let out a sympathetic hum, "I miss you too. But I have to go. I'm sorry."

"Alright." William sighed, "Fine. But don't expect to get off the hook next time I see you, little one. You need to tell me these things sooner rather than later."

The brit heard you giggle over the phone, "It'll be fine, Will. Surely you can survive two weeks without me."

"Getting smart with me now, hm?"

"No, sir."

William let out a pleased hum, "Good bunny. I'll miss you, okay? Have fun for me, alright? I'll be here waiting for you."

"I will, I will... Hey, before I forget; you remember that book you gave me, right? The old, thick and dusty one?"

"It's not old, love. It's classic."

You giggled again, "Classic, sure. Well, I finished it. I'll leave it in your mailbox before I go. Maybe that'll keep you occupied until I get back."

"Nothing could replace your company, little one. But, thank you. That's very kind."

"It's no problem. I gotta go pack now, Will. I'm sorry again. I'll see you next saturday, okay?"

"...Alright, bunny. Have fun. I love you."

"Love you too."

~~~

It was odd to have an empty house on the weekends. While William was used to Michael being away at his mother's, the house felt more depressing than usual without you in it. Dull. Grey. No life whatsoever.

William didn't drink often, not at all. He never found it to be that classy, and he wasn't about to throw his charm to the wind over alcohol. But god fucking damn it. He missed you so fucking much that Saturday afternoon. His cigarettes weren't having their usual kick to them. He needed something stronger to fill the void where you should be.

Pouring his second glass of whiskey for the evening, he couldn't help but wonder how you were. Your college was taking you an entire state away from him. Those fucking bastards. How dare they drag you so far away from him. What if you got hurt? Or in trouble? And he wasn't there to save his precious bunny? You knew his number, sure, but you were still so fucking far away from him. And a lot can happen so many miles away.

William took a large swig of the alcohol.

Fucking hell. He missed you so damn much.

He knew you didn't mean to tell him about the trip so late. You were a good bunny. Hell, he was the entire reason you didn't go when you were supposed to. He vaguely remembered convincing you to stay in town the first time you told him about it. You had just forgotten this time, surely. He couldn't stay mad at you for that. It was hard for him to stay mad at you in general. You were just too cute.

But William was miserable. He didn't want this shit to happen again. You would need to learn your lesson. And he'd make you learn it next time you were over.

But would he? Thinking of it now, it was hard for him to imagine giving you any sort of punishment. He just wanted you close to him. To pull you in his lap and kiss those sweet lips of yours. Hold you close to him. Lie down on his chest while he read his books before bed.

Oh, yes. That's right. The book he leant you. You said you'd give it back before you left.

Maybe he should take your advice. Use it to get his mind off you.

Finishing up his glass, William finished up his glass before he walked to the front door, opening and shutting it behind him as he made his way to the mailbox. The cool breeze of the sunset blew his neatly-combed hair out of place, washing over his pale skin. Upon opening up his mailbox, sure enough. The book he leant you was in there. But, it was... strange. Looked a lot fatter than normal.

The older man reached in and took the book out, brow furrowing in slight confusion. Leaning against the mailbox to shut it, the brit opened up the pages to see inside.

...

Oh.

William could feel the heat creep down his neck and cheeks.

Oh.

Oh, bunny. Sweet bunny.

Strewn about the pages was a handful of polaroid pictures. Pictures of you. In so many different positions... so many. He could see the plushness of your thighs. Your sweet little smile. Those big, gorgeous doe eyes. Your cute little pair of underwear...

You even still had some of the marks he'd given you last time you were over. And was that his dress shirt? It certainly was. How long have you had that, little one? Why, sir barely noticed that it was gone. Stealing his things now, are we? Naughty bunny.

You've been so bad recently, haven't you? William didn't much appreciate that. You had earned yourself a punishment, bunny. You probably know that just as sir does though, don't you? Was this your attempt at getting out of it?

William calmly shut the book, but quickly walked back into his house.

It worked, bunny.

For now.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Subtle Hints

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, 2forwoyne, laflare1017, brysontiller, and 2,974,003 others

y/ninsta: my baby's birthday month is almost hereeeeeee and I cannot waiiiiit!!

and in other news: I have the cutest husband, wouldn't you agree?

jackharlow come here so I can kiss your face

jackharlow: stink, stoppppppp 🙈🙈🙈🙈

jackharlow: I'm on my way though 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

dualipa: he's okay, I guess

jackharlow: dualipa I'm not even going there with you today smh

dualipa: jackharlow because you know you'll lose

jackharlow: dualipa can't lose when my wife is sitting on my face. try again.

danivalentine: oh lord, how are you going to top last year?

y/ninsta: danivalentine I already started planning, I'll let you know

urbanwyatt: uh? did you forget it's someone else's birthday month too?

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt I didn't forget. This post isn't for you tho. get in line.

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta oh oh okay so I'm not helping you plan a got damn thing. do it yourself.

y/ninsta: URBY, DO NOT START. I'M PLANNING YOURS TOO!

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta you started it and I was only finishing it

saweetie: y/ninsta it's the fact that you already have a closet full of gifts for him in my house

jackharlow: saweetie oh?

saweetie: jackharlow no. I'm not telling you which house or what they are so don't even try it

jackharlow: saweetie one tiny hint?

y/ninsta: JACKMAN!

jackharlow: 👀

2forwoyne: how is y/ninsta about to top the kentucky chain? that's all I wanna know

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne we just have to wait and see. nothing is off limits for my baby 🥰

druski2funny: y/ninsta that's funny because he was just calling me his life partner not too long ago

y/ninsta: druski2funny don't start. been his life partner since 14 and made it official at 19. He isn't going anywhere.

druski2funny: y/ninsta I'll see you in court. consider this now a custody battle. y/ninsta: druski2funny court won't be necessary, this pussy got him in a chokehold. but if we're going that way, prepare to pay for all my legal fees.

lilnasx: druski2funny jackharlow wouldn't want to live with you anyway and he damn sure is not choosing you over y/ninsta. I'm trying to save you from a lifetime of pain even if you get on my nerves

druski2funny: lilnasx he'll fold

jackharlow: druski2funny only person I'm folding for goes by the name of Y/N Harlow. Next. y/ninsta: DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!

dualipa: jackharlow you meant Y/N Lipa, but same concept.

jackharlow: dualipa I do not want to hear a got damn word out of you for the entire month of march

dualipa: jackharlow lemme get a date with the wife and I'll think about it

jackharlow: dualipa won't have to think about nothing because my foot will be up your ass for being outta pocket smh

jackharlow: I already got the best early birthday gift that I could ask for from my baby 🥰

y/ninsta: jackharlow stop before I cry

danivalentine: damn, bitch you always somewhere crying lol

y/ninsta: danivalentine shut up! lmaoooo

jackharlowsource: jackharlow what is it?

jackharlow: we'll reveal what it is soon

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, claybornharlow, popcrave, danivalentine, and 2,890,442 others

y/ninsta: OKAY GLASSES!

my baby did that. so proud of you smush😭😌

allthingsy/n: yes we're proud of him too but WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE WANT TO SEE YOU! WE MISS YOU!

y/ninsta: allthingsy/n yall just saw me at the grammy's! lol

jackharlowsource: y/ninsta that was so long ago tho. it seems like you and jack make small appearances to let us know yall are alive and then you go back into hiding

y/ninsta: jackharlowsource all we will be revealed soon as to why 🤭🤭

urbandjack24: WHAT? ARE WE GETTING THE JOINT ALBUM MAYBE?

danivalentine: didn't think you would last on the flight so long

y/ninsta: danivalentine I was fighting it lol, had to lay in Jack's lap for the majority of it which he was very happy about

jackharlow: y/ninsta not you calling me out smh I just like for my wife to be close to me

jackharlowsource: wait, what? she's been on long flights plenty of times 👀

y/ninsta: not a joint album, but something else

jackharlow: y/ninsta thank you for coming with me even though I wanted for you to stay with danivalentine 🙄

danivalentine: jackharlow you know when her mind is made up that there's no changing it

allthingsy/n: what are yall hiding? y/n goes everywhere jack goes anyway when she isn't working on anything

jackharlow: danivalentine after ten years, I'm still not used to it. I just knew it was about to be an emergency landing

jackharlowsource: AN EMERGENCY LANDING FOR WHAT?!

urbanwyatt: and I made sure to sit far away, but close enough just in case

urbandjack24: what in the world are yall talking about?

y/ninsta: jackharlow we need to go back when I'm feeling a little better and not carrying so much

allthingsy/n: ARE YOU SICK?! WHAT'S WRONG?!

y/ninsta: allthingsy/n I promise I'm fine, nothing to worry about and nothing that I can't handle

saweetie: 🤭🤭🤭🤭

2forwoyne: y/ninsta you're still cooking this sunday, right?

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne for my baby daddy, yes.

yungskylark: y/ninsta you always cook for him though!

y/ninsta: uh? because he's my husband the last time I checked? lmaoooo

quiiso: y/ninsta has been starving us for 2 weeks

y/ninsta: quiiso I made you something 2 days ago

quiiso: y/ninsta oh. I forgot about that

theestallion: proud of you jack! now y/ninsta yellow or green?

y/ninsta: theestallion definitely yellow!

jackharlowsource: what are these colors for? 👀

y/ninsta: theestallion or do purple for jack

normani: y/ninsta we can do a few different things but I know you two will love it

Liked by jackharlow, danivalentine, softtcurse, urbanwyatt, nemoachida, djdrama, and 2,943,001 others

y/ninsta: WELL DUH 😭😭

okay yall see me? I'm alive. I'm okay. I'm healthy and I'm about to go have sex with my husband soooo byeeeee

jackharlow: BABY! 😭😭😭😭

danivalentine: hmm you've been doing a lot of that lately and it's why your ass can barely walk now

y/ninsta: danivalentine idk what you mean sis, I was doing the cupid shuffle earlier as I came in the room

saweetie: BITCHHHHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭😭😭

theestallion: I swear I can't stand your dumbass lol

urbanwyatt: and the video isn't lying. both of yall are. 🙄

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and imma say it till the day I die that's my muthafuckin husband

jackharlow: y/ninsta 😊😊😊😊😊

2forwoyne: can we talk about how jackharlow was convinced that y/ninsta liked another boy at our school and not him

urbanwyatt: he literally needed a book entitled being in love for dummies. we spelled it out for him and his ass still didn't get it

jackharlow: AHT AHT! my birthday month is about to start and I need for yall to not act outta pocket

yungskylark: following her like a lost puppy

danivalentine: yungskylark he still does

nemoachida: SIMP!

urbanwyatt: still remember that day in cherokee park when I asked her what her type was. she describe Jack to a MOTHERFUCKING T and his ass was still looking around confused

quiiso: that was hilarious lmao

jackharlow: SHE SAID SHE WAS WAITING FOR JUSTIN BIEBER

2forwoyne: jackharlow DOES HE HAVE CURLY HAIR, BLUE EYES, AND FRECKLES LIKE YOUR DUMBASS DOES?

jackharlow: BABYYYY! THEY'RE PICKING ON ME!

y/ninsta: gotta admit that was hilarious lmao

jackharlow: y/ninsta you not helping mamas 😒

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'll help when I sit on your dick

urbanwyatt: here they asses go smh

jackharlow: y/ninsta say less

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, claybornharlow, dualipa, theestallion, and 3,562,110 others

jackharlow: so proud to call you my wife 💖

y/ninsta: jackharlow now you know I'm sensitive and I cry all the damn time

jackharlow: y/ninsta just calling it like I see it. thank you for marrying me.

y/ninsta: jackharlow and I would do it a trillion more times, you're it for me pookie 💖

jackharlow: five years in

y/ninsta: and a lifetime to go

theestallion: ooh you look cute, where yall at?

y/ninsta: theestallion this was months ago when we were in Florida, I'm still at home in Kentucky

allthingsy/n: we need new music! I know you got a studio in the house!

y/ninsta: allthingsy/n soon. have some things planned, but for now I'm loving that I can get to spend time with my big baby

claybornharlow: little baby has now entered the chat

jackharlow: here his ass goes 🙄

y/ninsta: claybornharlow hi my little baby, we're going to have to give you a new nickname soon

jackharlowsource: wait, WHAT? DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?

y/ninsta: jackharlowsource he's just old enough to drink now lol been calling him that since I first met him and he's now taller than me. what did you think I meant? lol

jackharlowsource: y/ninsta that baby Harlow was making their debut!

y/ninsta: jackharlowsource I told jackharlow I need ten years, besides, pop a plan b before I let him trap a bitch!

jackharlow: y/ninsta BABY! STOP. WE TALKED ABOUT THAT.

y/ninsta: oops, yeah he wasn't too happy with my verse on FNF, but another story for another day

saweetie: face card never declining!

y/ninsta: saweetie I miss you so much. please come visit and bring snacks.

jackharlow: healthy snacks only smh do not sneak her cheese fries like urbanwyatt did the other day

urbanwyatt: jackharlow look my best friend was hungry so I did what I had to do y/ninsta: love you urby, jack doesn't let us have any fun jackharlow: y/ninsta we have been having plenty of fun with my head between your legs so cut it out saweetie: ew lmaooooo

jackharlowsource: wait a minute.... I'm just going to say it.... I think first lady is pregnant

urbandjack24: OKAY I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME 😭😭😭

allthingsy/n: her and jack are hiding, she's only posting old pics of herself or things from the chest up, being on long flights and laying in Jack's lap which I assume she was nauseous, jack saying he already got the best gift he could ever ask for from her, jack getting on her about only eating healthy snacks, giving clay a new nickname, megan and normani making her choose between different colors which I assume for a party of some sort? gender reveal maybe? OH SHIT BABY HARLOW IS COMING YALL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! FUCKING FINALLY!!! MY FAVORITE COUPLE ARE BECOMING PARENTS!!!

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

[naumin]

november updates

ok so i know november ended yesterday, i did think about titling this post december updates but i know december will be a whole different beast for me... just let me have this... it's been a really long time since i sat down and talked about all my recent projects and goings on!!!! so in case you missed what i've been up to, read on... :)

the free Laios/Marcille fanthology I organised is OUT!!! no tall towers to climb (https://naumin.itch.io/laimar) came out November 10th, and erm only 5 days later than scheduled... it's a big boy at 112 pages with contributions from 14 fans !! I had so much fun organising this and was really touched by the love and care ppl put into their works... fans are so powerful... it's free to download and read digitally or even print and bind your own copy (I am really excited to see your printed and bound copies if you have made them please dont hesitate to @ me...) I love books.. i love making books...

I don't have plans to organise a Volume II however I did start writing a post of my process to maybe help and encourage anyone else who'd like to start a project like this one. It got really lengthy though and I wasn't sure if it was helpful to anyone lol so when I have a minute I really gotta go and edit that thing down

also nobody asked me but the title is based on a poem by 12thc warrior poet Xin Qiji. i guess the tower reminded me of their dungeon misadventures hehe.

also did i mention it's FREE! !!!!!!!

7 months of subscribestar I've officially been making new posts on substar every single week since May ! It's been really fun tbh and I don't have plans of slowing down yet :) I really appreciate everyone who's visited and it makes a huge difference even just subscribing for 1 month or 2, just having that little extra to help out on months where I can't take as many commissions or I'm sick or away from home etc! You may have noticed I've added a tip jar tier ($2.5) for those who can't manage the $6 sketchbook tier... on principle I wanna make it lower but after fees it'd be zilch and I am kind of like if you have $2... maybe hold onto that. lol. maybe use that somewhere else. you can always make 1-time donations through substar or ko-fi (yeah, I have one...) my next projects...

Ballet Yuri Year One, the compilation book of one year of works on Ilze & Evangeline, whos 1st birthday was in September and I haven't had time to look at the files since October but I will look at them again soon-- last spot I left it, it was at least 30 pages... I think it will definitely be double that and could possibly be triple that (omg).

NERD SEX VOLUME III my annual NSFW sketchbook which traditionally comes out around January/February! I'm delusional that this one will be the simplest to put together and so it might be the next thing you see from me. It will be available for all subscribers as soon as it's ready. I also gotta remember to upload Nerd Sex I & II at the same time. for those who dont wanna subscribe, you can get 50% off Nerd Sex I & II in the meantime now :) also i forsee about 300% more lesbians in Nerd Sex III. It's the year of the dyke.

A collaborative NSFW anthology coming next year. This one has a longer production period to give everyone time to work and give me time to get organised lol. Hopefully you'll hear more about this one in the new year! It's for the boys and the ppl who love boys <3

the issues oh my god I've been having technical issues with my ipad the last month. I keep getting random lines and marks while drawing in procreate ! A lot of people said it could be my sweater or hand or case touching the screen while I draw but I don't think that is it, plus it's only started recently. It's not my pen and it's not my settings. it apparently COULD be a technical issue with my ipad model which would suck cuz I got this refurbished (from Apple still) so do i have like..... warranty? will they repair it for me :S? idk. I'll have to look into it though sooner or later cuz it's driving me bananas and slowing my output! AGH! I pray she heals on her own overnight. amen.

commissions I am NOT taking any new commissions in December (unless you are a $10 subscriber) but I am still doing the KISS YCH which also has a very cute wintery version up for this month only lol. same price! check it out if you wanna see your pookies under the mistletoe <3 would make a great present to you or someone u know...

alright that's all. thanks for reading my updates post. did anyone read this whole post besides me? thanks for being there for a while whilst i talked to myself before you presumably left and did something more fun and enriching. i love you.

[n-anon]

The Truth (Part 1)

So-its been about 3 months since Book of Bill has come out-and I've decided to be a little crazy. So with fresh eyes, and more sleep under my belt this time:

I'm going to go over every bit of it, and try to find out which of Bill's stories in here are truth, exaggeration or flat out lies

Bill as we all know him is a great storyteller, give that demon a yarn and he'll spin a web so intricate you won't realize you've let the spider dance on your carpet. He lies, he tells a truth inbetween to make you believe. He'll do anything to get out of the Theraprism. Even if it means biting at his own pride.

So without a further ado, lets go to one of the first pages.

This is a lie. He's not fine. Never has been. That's one of the easier ones.

Next the interview page:

This. This is the first inkling of truth. I want to remind you for this entire interview, Bill is interviewing Bill for a live audience made of Bills. He's not happy. He only pretends.

Also funny lie on this page:

We learn later said Howling Void is an ex.

Onto the powers section, i want you to take note of this line. It'll be important later. (For clarification 'Cipher, Cipher, he's insane, starting fires with his brain')

Love page:

Its the truth. And he would know, wouldn't he?

The Morality page is full of lies. But there's one truth in there.

'Make the screams finally stop?' From what we learn on the website, Bill hears the screams of everyone he's ever (possessed? Killed? Up for debate).

And here's our first exaggeration. Along with one truth. The Parallel Dimensions page.

Here's the truth.

I do in fact think that there's a timeline that the Pines family lost. I don't know what happened then, I don't think we want to find out. However. Here's the exaggeration:

I don't think there's an infinite number of ones they lost limbs or got dismembered. I think Bill is just mad he wound up the sucker stuck with the ones who survived.

The silly straw page is so full of truth it's gonna be it's own bonus part.

But I'll get to the meat of part 1. The biggest lie of them all. I'm not talking the backstory, that bits actually true. The parts he remembers anyway.

I'm talking about this:

'Everyone loved me immediately, and the mayor dubbed me "the best baby of all time" made my birthday a national holiday, and gave out free knives'

However I think in some sense it's true. From what we know of the parents lullaby, Bills eye is something no one had seen, perhaps when he was a baby, he was an oddity, maybe something special that got everyone in town to adore him cuz it was cute, he had weird powers, kind of sounds like another certain cute child 'psychic' right?

But by the time he had grown up a bit, they probably called him names, gave chants about his odd powers, bullied so much about his made-up fantasies about stars that he snapped. And well you know what happened next.

(if you got to the end of this, congrats you win-Nothing but a passion lol please help I've gone insane. But honestly if you enjoyed this, I'm glad, and thank you :D)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Omg someone got love letters from their boyfriend i wonder who it could be 🤔....oh it's meeeeee 💅💃

I was sure we'll get his weverse post cause if there's one thing he's gonna never stop doing is thanking fans for showing him love. He might not flex his b'day, his achievements but he'll always come to say thank you.

Okay but the way he said "But it feels like time has both flown by and dragged on at the same time. When I look back, it's fast, but when I look ahead, it feels slow" is exactly what i feel. Was supposed to leave when they both enlisted but 10 months later here i am lol. Never felt anyone's "I love you" the way i feel jimin's. Like i genuinely feel I'm loved when HE says i love you idk man. Too pure, too genuine never feels like he's saying it for the sake of it.

Anyways, last day of being in Fandom, hopefully when i see him on any sns next time the first thing I see is his solo concert like that's what i wish for so bad. I know it's coming for every member, when idk. So when i see him next time it should be from his solo concert similar to how i found him years ago through their clips on my ig of their variety show n all. Also hope if I open this acct in future I'll find you here but idk if that's happening or not bug hopefully.

If you get any asks from jm's partner in future letting you know already that's a fake one 😓 take care and keep loving jimin and jungkook both till however long you are here.

Anon, you stayed for a birthday letter and now it's time to move on. Perfectly understandable. The moments in which there's actually nice things happening are quite rare now, so no need to linger in the misery that is an online fandom.

Getting a lot of notifications from Jimin yesterday felt really nice, especially since communication from his side is barely existent now. Muse and then AYS?! helped, but now that there's not project on the horizon, I guess this is it.

I'm not like you though, lol. I'm hoping to see Jimin when J-Hope has his military discharge and maybe all the photos he took with his disposable camera during the trips will somehow be released and Keep Going is still an odd thing with no explanation yet....

I'm gonna still be in this limbo, while reblogging random stuff in the meantime.

Maybe we'll get to talk again in the future. Take care as well!

[chevvy-yates]

Just a quick letting u know:

I am currently rather inactive on tblr bc I spent more time on writing, developing my ocs further, and getting the next three chapters ready to be hopefully posted all this year.

We are close to finish chapter 3 now and I've spent the whole Holiday today now to merge our rp together, so it sounds better and is a more fluent read.

I had chapter 04 (Ryder's) already ready a long time ago but recently added text details, so I will have to go over that again (but layout stands, pics are done since last year september),

chapter 05 is also done long ago, but needs overgoing on the text as it's in fact the oldest text of all of them bc this smut scene started it all. lol

Idk when I'll be going back to take vp. Still got a tiny amount to post (some I need to edit first) but I'll be forced to take pics soon enough: chapter 03 maybe 05 and for Ryders birthday at the end of the month.

I might come here and reblog a few things from my dash but currently I have no real vigor to scroll my usual cp tags. So don't be sad if I suddenly stopped interacting with you! (If you want me to to see a post, you can tag me btw!)

[the0nlyallison]

Vent pt 2 because there's more I forgot about

I'm also not allowed to have my phone in my room at night so when I'm really sad I don't have anything to distract me.

I'm always thinking of the last time I saw my grandpa.. we went to my grandparents house to clean (my grandma's camera was making her see things that weren't there and she couldn't do any cleaning because of how bad she was). We were rushing to get out of their house to go home so I didn't get to hug my grandpa, I just waved... I can see so clearly his smile as he wanted at me.

I also remember things of my grandma's death. One day I was sitting in the living room at our old house and she wasn't waking up. My mom being a nurse, I asked her a lot of what was happening. Then it hit me that maybe my grandma's gasps were her trying to talk so I cried and my mom was trying to comfort me... I saw my dog stand on his hind legs to look at her, his first time acknowledging her. So I knew.... The next day I was at color guard practice. Mid practice I knew something was wrong. This terrible feeling came over me. It was so bad I was going to vomit. I was going to leave but I stayed. The time that happened was at 2:45, the same time she died.

I also think of how I got bullied. Freshman year me and this girl were best friends and we'd do best friend things lol we'd link arms, kids each other's cheek, etc and people then started calling us gay. I didn't really care about that because we both knew it wasn't true... Then it got worse. They started saying I was finding her in the bathroom. By the beginning of sophomore year it died down. At the end of sophomore year I had got with this dude and he wanted to meet me in the locker room so I told my color guard team I was going to the bathroom. He wanted to give each other head so we argued the entire time because I wasn't ready. My name got called on the announcements. I went to the group, told them I just had really bad period cramps, and continued. I found out the next day someone in the group started going around saying I was fingering myself and I had a breakdown in front of my history teacher and my classmates saw it. I didn't care. I could just remember me telling and screening and crying telling my teacher how much I wanted to kill myself when it was happening during freshman year and how I couldn't take it anymore after my grandma and grandpa.

I think about my biological mother too. About or last interaction. We barely talked. We talked twice. She asked me what I was listening to (Bon Jovi of course) and at the very end she said I was getting tall. There's things I won't ever forget about her. The last interaction I had and another, where it was my birthday party at my mamaws (her mom) house and she asked me when my birthday was. Being her first child, being my birthday party, I was pissed and everyone knew it. Drugs lol

And my biological dad. Why didn't he change after she died? I wanted him to get better. I wrote a poem for him. He was supposed to get better. I'll remember two encounters with him. A few years ago my baby nephew was really sick so my and my mom went to take care of the rest of my brother's kids. My other brother and my biological father went there and I ignored him the entire time. Before he left he came over, gave me a hug and a candy bar and said "happy birthday." Keep in mind this was in December and my birthday is in October. The second encounter was much recent, a couple months ago. We were in the drive through of Tim Hortons and I people watch lol so I was looking out the car window and saw a homeless man walking wearing pajama pants, so my brain automatically named him Pajama Pants. Another guy was walking farther down behind him. I heard my mom go "oh God there's [name] Allison don't look." I waited til both guys were gone and asked which one he was... He was Pajama Pants.

Every night I wanna cry about it but I can't. I'm too scared to. If my parents see me crying then I'm forced to tell them what's happening. I can't just tell them to leave me alone and that I need space.

I just miss how everything was before. I miss my friends. I miss my grandma and grandpa. I miss everything.

[tiikerikani]

Enough is enough

I've been in an insomnia death spiral for a while, and it is REALLY BAD right now. I sometimes say that I wish days were 28 hours long so I can fit everything in, but at the moment I'm thinking I need 32-hour days, if not longer. My brain is flat-out nope-ing out of work and it is even more exhausting trying to goad myself into doing it.

It was Senpai's birthday a couple of weekends ago, and while I'd already delivered my greeting (and a small pencil sketch) to him at the book launch, I also wanted to do something meaningful for the occasion, and I think that he would have been 100% behind me doing this:

I dug out the post-it note on which the one psychiatrist at the beginning of the panini, who had actually listened to me (see footnote 4), gave me the name of a place that does neuropsychological testing in English, and I emailed them. So I'll be having a consultation with one of their clinicians next week to get that process started.

Back then I'd balked at the price (and it was quite out of my budget at the time, almost a months' rent), and it still is a LOT of money (with the various followups and formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist and so on it will definitely be more than that especially when I don't have the health insurance that Old Job had provided), but I am in a bit better situation financially now.

I wrote "actually listened to me" in paragraph 3 because every other psychiatrist I talked to since then had been incredibly dismissive of my experiences. It's especially frustrating when you pour yourself out to them, about how so many of your eccentricities and the traumas of your childhood suddenly make sense when considered in light of what we now know about (inattentive) ADHD, and they tell you to your face that no, you don't have it, go take a nap. One doctor at least gave me an official referral to psychotherapy but I didn't use it because 1) you're on your own to find a therapist (good luck, lol), 2) you have to pay for most of it anyway, and 3) it's not going to be effective if it doesn't address the root cause(s) behind that trauma.

On further reflection, I now realize that these "death spirals" were not ordinary burnouts (if that can even be a thing) but specifically ADHD burnouts, so it's even more imperative that I get to the truth at the bottom of this. It can very well be that I'm too damn tired for tests to properly show my baseline, but structured cognitive/behavioral/whatever tests will have some kind of rubric and maybe even quantitative measurements so it will be less about how they feel about what I tell them about myself but what the scores say about it.

But what's more, I now have copies of the figurative receipts. When I was visiting my parents last year I made scans of all my old report cards and other school records (that Mom meticulously organized and kept). Not every single page but those with grades or teacher/parent comments on. I don't really have any interest in reading through them myself. Some of the criticisms areas for improvement my teachers had for me are still etched in my mind 30 years later, because I couldn't "fix" them then (and not for lack of trying) nor really understand why I should (be like normal people), and still can't and don't. I will not enumerate them here.

_________

TL;DR:

I don't care what it costs (a lot) but I am (finally) getting my damn brain tested for ADHD because I can't manage it on my own anymore while pretending to the world (and the world trying to tell me) that my problems have nothing to do with it.

[efangamez]

Hey you beautiful peeps! Fingers hurt, so I'll be using voice to text! Sorry for any errors!

UPDATE

Hey you beautiful people! Sorry I've been gone away for a while. I've been dealing with the stress of the hurricanes and making sure that my family and everyone I know is safe. I'm also playing a s*** ton of sparking zero recently and it is absolutely fantastic. It kind of sucks that I'm on a hyper fixation right now of Dragon Ball. Z because it makes work Debilitatingly agonizing. So because of that, I haven't really been able to get a ton done in the game design department as much as I'd like.

And I am learning that that's okay! I have severe mental health issues and sometimes the thing that helps me dissociate and maybe not the best way is a hyper fixation on something to where it gets to the point of engulfing my whole life for a short period of time. I've had this with metal Gear solid. I've had this with Yu-Gi-Oh. I've had this with pokémon my whole childhood and right now it's Dragon Ball. Z. I've always been a Dragon Ball fan but with sparking Zero releasing it's made everything a lot More swollen when it comes to my hyper fixation.

Nevertheless, some good news though is that I have been working on some stuff in this time and it's all really, really great stuff. I don't want to push myself to the point of burnout again to where it becomes agonizing to even think about game design. I'm taking it steady and I cannot thank every single person that follows me and understands the weird and honestly long and arduous journey. That is my trip back to normalcy. I'm getting to a point to where I'm doing a lot of community work that I'm very proud of outside of game design which is another passion of mine. This is really fulfilling work but it takes a lot of time and it is work and it is payless. I wouldn't sacrifice it for the world though.

There's going to be another sale next month to celebrate my birthday and help me pay for doctor expenses that I'm going to be incurring next month for my final checkup and eye exam before I'm kicked off of insurance. I've got to figure that as out as well but the reality is is I probably will not have healthcare lol. I love living in America not.

Lastly, this election is coming up and that is also going to take my attention away from a lot of things. There's a lot of work that needs to be done in my community as well as internally as to what decisions regarding this election are necessary. Also, if the outcome is Donald Trump winning then I also have to prepare and help build infrastructure so that the ones I love and hold dear to me are safe and sound. That takes priority over every single thing in my life.

In short lots have been going on but I'm still trucking and I'm still kicking and I still love game design and I really really think every single person who follows me and is letting me get back to normal through these past 2 years of trauma and growth that has been absolutely agonizing but absolutely rewarding. I hope you all are doing well and I send you lots of love and courage in the coming days. Feel free to message me if you need anything If you're a mutual and if you're not a mutual, message me about some of the games that you've played and looked at of mine. I love to hear about what you think about my games and what I could either improve upon or what you really like.

See y'all on the flip side and hopefully it doesn't take me this long to make another post LOL.

-Efan