#maybe homura's overreaction wasn't an overreaction at all

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Kyoko is adding so much more credence to my theory that being a magical girl is more like a curse.

My earlier thoughts about how there's no incentive for magical girls to work together seems to be correct so far.

Yeah, sure, it could just be how the magic system operates that the more Grief Seeds you collect, the more powerful you become. And the fact that in order for a magical girl's gem to not "fade" aka not lose their powers, they have to keep collecting more Grief Seeds is just so ... convient.

It's starting to feel more like magical girls are meant to farm Grief Seeds for Kyubey to snack on vs "helping people."

I'm mostly saying this because of Kyoko and Sayaka's first interaction/fight.

The fact that Kyoko is willing to sacrifice people in order to "game the system" vs Sayaka's-and by extension, Mami's-blatant disgust at suggesting such a thing is very interesting to me.

To me, this really shows how manipulative Kyubey actually might be. They're still selling the idea that being a magical girl is like being a super hero, but Kyoko is living proof that this is not the case at fucking all.

It also shows that Homura isn't an outlier. Her cold personality, actions and words could absolutely be a direct result of her making a contract with Kyubey. Where Kyoko seems to find amusement at the expense of others, Homura is detached and seems to find no joy in being a magical girl.

So her anger towards Sayaka forming a contract with Kyubey is actually looking pretty warranted. I mean, sure, her anger towards Sayaka for doing it feels like a on overreaction to Sayaka and Madoka. But with all this added context, Homura's actions are starting to feel less like an overreaction and more like an appropriate response to, well, literally everything.

Kyoko and Homura are "veterans," but it's extremely obvious who has more experience here. Kyoko can still act cocky and brash, but the difference in perspective really highlights their difference in power, too. Something something the more powerful you become, the more of your humanity you lose.

Of course, from Sayaka's perspective all she sees is someone who let Mami die. But in actuality, Homura gave Mami ample warning and she still chose to fight the witch on her own. Mami died because of her overconfidence and it's a fucking tragedy.

But to Sayaka, Homura is directly responsible. So whenever Homura tries to offer any advice or warnings, Sayaka instinctively writes her off and refuses to listen.

So you have 4 different perspectives all at war here:

-Sayaka's righteous (and possibly naive) belief that being a magical girl is an honorable profession akin to that of a super hero/knight

-Kyoko's ambivalence towards human life all for the sake of self satisfaction and power, which is further validated and encouraged by the reward of Grief Seeds/more power

-Homura's emotional detachment as a possible result of witnessing far more suffering than any other magical girl before her

-Madoka's growing horror and desperate attempts to have everything be "okay" again, naively imploring everyone to use the "power of friendship" so she doesn't have to see anyone else get hurt

It genuinely feels like being a magical girl purposely sets you up to self isolate. Whether as a precaution to protect loved ones or to gain more power, there's just very little reason for anyone to work together.

Also, Kyubey's constant fucking pushing for Madoka to become a magical girl is so fucking suspicious. They're legit pressuring Madoka to keep entering into dangerous situations "just in case" Sayaka gets in trouble when we all known damn well at this point that it's absolutely guaranteed she will.

Kyubey using Madoka's fear of losing another friend in a horrific way by knowingly placing her and Sayaka in danger is so fucking suspect. And then them trying to convince Sayaka to persuade Madoka into forming a contract-BITCH, HELLO?!

Idk what Kyubey has to gain from all of this yet, but if getting more Grief Seeds translates to more power ... making a contract with Kyubey could potentially be a way for them get innocent and vulnerable girls to do their dirty work.

A part of me even wonders if Kyubey knew Mami was going to die and is using that traumatic event to further manipulate Sayaka and Madoka.

[samble-moved]

reminder that homura is a middle schooler. she is 13 or 14 years old, depending on source. she is not old enough to drive or have a permit. she is not old enough to live on her own (it's implied her parents are out of the picture in some way — in the US she'd need to be in adoptive or foster care, or at least have a guardian or social worker, but this appears to be handwaved in the series and none are ever shown). she cannot vote. she is not old enough to get a job (earliest i've seen is 14 in the US, and that's usually in not great environments, in summer, and for low pay and short hours). she is only "independent" in the sense that it's forced upon her by lack of any adult support — nobody helps her fill out school transfer forms, she lives alone, she has no shown family or even mentions of relatives, nobody visits her in the hospital, etc.

i say this because a lot of "anti homura" arguments act as if this information doesn't exist, and that homura is "actually an adult" or at the same level as one due to looping. she canonically is not. her brain and physical body are not developing, she is only learning walpurgis tactics and memorizing test answers. her brain is not developing so she's not "mentally 26", like is often claimed by "homura is a predator" truthers. i'm not even going to touch on how weird and borderline creepy it is to say "she's a child but so mature for her age (from extreme, repeated, potentially pre-series trauma), so she must be an adult and can be treated like one".

there is a reason that children are typically tried differently in the US. unless "tried as an adult" for very serious crimes, it is widely accepted that children (and even young adults) are more impulsive, think less rationally, and are generally "less responsible" for their actions due to not having the experiences of a full grown adult. children are less mature, more prone to "overreaction" and panic, and are immature — because they are kids.

homura is a child. she also has extreme trauma, potentially from before the series even began (where are her parents? are they just neglectful? dead? why isn't there even a single adult helping her?) that is never helped or addressed. homura doesn't get help for any issues she has (obvious ptsd and depression, borderline delusions over the past being "just a dream" in wraith arc). she is not some spoiled, rich, mentally stable almost-adult who's never faced a consequence. she is a young and traumatized teenager, young enough to be a middle schooler, and has experienced:

neglectful, absent, missing, or dead family/parents

watching her friends die horrifically almost a hundred times

having zero adult support at all, no caseworker or help

bullying, half being because she's disabled

having her soul ripped from her body without consent and learning if she ever loses her soul gem (or god forbid accidentally drops it somewhere), her body will basically be "dead"

learning she and all her friends turn into eldritch horrors when they die, a process shown in rebellion to be something they are aware for (aka the horror that witches aren't "just" bodies being moved, they are actively and constantly suffering and aware to some degree the whole time)

learning that the witches they fight are girls around their age who fell into despair, and not purposeless monsters

learned of the prospect that witches can potentially "regrow" via familiars, thus if their consciousness transfers, this shows the possibility of literally eternal suffering as the witch is "reborn"

realization that, the more she tries to save madoka, the worse the situation gets

having a full on breakdown with delusions in wraith arc, thinking maybe madoka was all just a hallucination or a dream she had

finding out in rebellion it wasn't a dream, but then thinking she betrayed madoka by not stopping her from contracting

becoming a witch whose whole theme is based around suicide and wanting and waiting to die, but not being able to

being a witch whose familiars are malicious towards her and belittle her

trying to "fix" her believed betrayal of madoka by making a new world, ending up hated by sayaka and isolated from her friends

is still stuck as a witch while the last event happens!!! (her soul gem is never shown purified)

all of this while she is 13-14.

homura is not some cruel adult playing god because she is bored and likes the power trip and wants the world to burn. she is a deeply traumatized and mentally ill child who never got help. she is not a predator — and i honestly don't know if that is more of a "she's a predator because she's the most openly sapphic" or "she's a predator because she's traumatized and thus 'acts weird' due to trauma" belief nowadays in most anti-homura spaces, i've seen both. she is not a murderer or rapist or whatever else i've seen (yes, "homura is a sexual predator" claims exist, despite this never once even being implied). she is not an abuser — you can argue she's cold or rude, but she is not "an abuser".

if a child like homura existed irl (and they do exist), a professional's first thought would not be "this is an evil, irredeemable, abusive predator who can be treated like an adult", it'd likely be a reaction of horror and deep concern of "what happened to this child to make her act this way?". someone being "the perfect victim" — that is, being soft, demure, sweet, docile, flawless — in response to trauma is a harmful myth for a reason. some trauma victims will react with anger. some may be overly happy in an attempt to prevent further abuse. some, like homura, end up acting "cold" to try and avoid being further hurt. it doesn't mean homura doesn't experience emotion, hates her friends and wants them to suffer, is a predator, is "a bad person", etc.

think! when you write posts about how homura is actually an evil, awful, no good, very bad person with no positive traits, remember she is a middle schooler. of course, she's not a "real" child, and thus doesn't exist to have her feelings hurt over it, but consider this: would you say these things to/about a real child? are you aware that "real children" (often victims of trauma themselves) relate to homura due to this? i was one of them at 14ish, and while "homura is evil [for acting like a traumatized child often does]" discourse never left me particularly hurt, i know it does genuinely upset several people i know. and if you had, say, a real life child relative who acted "cold" after seeing their friends die horribly, would you call them an evil and irredeemable abuser as well?