#maybe I'll do a breakdown meta for this but who knows MAYBE some day (with enough will and pestering)

[tipzyness]

So here's the jjk iceberg that I wanted to do ^^

[ultraviolet-cello]

Alright since the @tristampparty is Well under way now I'm gonna do a little day by day analysis or details I like about the episode of the day, along with my usual art hustle :3!

Because this is going to end up being Super long we'll put this under a cut! [Spoiler warning for All of Trigun, primarily Tristamp and Trimax]

Tl;dr? I'm normal about how Knives is in Tristamp

So I'll be going point by point in chronological notes that I kept while writing abt this episode :] thank u to Mal for putting up with my rambles hehehe.

So the Seeds ships specifically are reminiscent, to me at least, of the Angel Arm (probably moreso the tristamp version which, can you believe, is incredibly difficult to get a screenshot of lmao)

That's interesting to me because it could be just a design choice but if it is an in-universe thing, it does,... imply some things about Plants. Granted, Independents probably weren't known abt when the Seeds ships launched, but is there another aspect of Plants that takes that form? And is that impactful enough for a human fleet to design their ships after that? Much to think about for something that's probably just symbolic lmao

Now for Knives! So a little bit of context that I will elaborate on as we watch, but I think the narrative is heavily biased against Knives when he was a child, and that we will get some recontextualization next season that's more in line with how we know him in Trimax.

In particular, I think the beginning flashback is possibly theeee most unbiased depiction of events because all the rest are specifically memories being told to others by Vash or Knives, or the whole memory thing in July. Granted it's still very Vash-focused but it gives us two major things.

Knives seemingly wanting to take Rem along with him. In Trimax, it's semi-implied that Knives would have initially wanted Rem to live and spirals very hard into telling Vash he hates Rem as a coping mechanism (which I will elaborate on if anyone's interested in my reading of those scenes), and it seems to be even more overt here.

He doesn't stop reaching out either until Rem shuts the escape pod/pulls the lever (Unclear on when that is)

2. From that scene, the only time we see Knives' face/expression again is when the escape pod is being like. Slung out of the ship. The rest of it always blocks his face and expression in favour of seeing Vash's far louder and emotional reactions.

and we just straight up do not see knives again until his big maniacal speech thing and that's,,, well we just don't know how long it's been since they crashed. could be minutes. could be hours. could be enough for knives to have had a breakdown and start laughing at the sky because he just doesn't know what else to do

i think (hope) season 2 might end up having a lot of the same flashbacks from knives' pov/an unbiased pov :]

Moving on with the episode: Roberto! I love Roberto a lot actually, he definitely grows on you. Something I did notice is that throughout this ep he says that Meryl and Vash would not last long on this planet which. That's interesting, considering he doesn't say that to Wolfwood, and yet Wolfwood and Roberto are the ones doomed by the (sometimes meta) narrative.

So when Vash is found he's been strung up by the Bad Lads gang (who have far more presence in episode one than I originally thought lmao), and he looks... a little dehydrated maybe, but overall fine.

The guys next to him, though? not doing remotely as well. Now while there is the possibility that he just got tied up later there's also the possibility that. While he does need to eat he doesn't need to eat as much as the average human. Which. is a lovely thought for the two dead guys. [Also a possibility that if Vash does need to consume less than a human, it could be another justification to himself for his eating issues]

The bounty! So it's technically Knives' bounty but whatever. [Sidenote: the idea that Vash and Knives look very similar is hilarious to me because they do not and never have to me] The particular notes are that Knives definitely had a hand in this - Vash is the only person specified alive, the bounty is obscenely high (compared to the other wanted posters), and it's specifically stamped with July Military, which. Well Knives and Conrad operate in July, and Conrad (by extension Knives) very clearly has a Lot of power in that City because he has the tower, that massive lab, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the ones who initially created the bounty/wanted poster.

This Thomas carrying co... coffins? Are they coffins??

Background wanted posters for B.D.N, Marilyn Nebraska, Rai-Dei, and some other characters from trimax/98. And also for Nightow. for 30 $$ you can bring in Nightow the Comix Artist dead or alive! Wanted for Couch Crimes

Roberto kinda fascinates me as a character, especially when he sticks up for Vash and suggests a duel. My friend Mal describes him as a tsundere for friendship and. yeah okay that works lmao. for all his,,, roberto-isms, roberto has a a bit of a moral streak (he gets maddddd when he learns that children have been experimented on, hesitates in defending himself against Elendira, and lies to the police to get information out of them). He's just a Lot jaded, and we're already primed to like Meryl because, well she's Meryl, but he tends to be right when it comes to Meryl's inexperience. i like him. It's also, come to think of it, possibly because Vash fascinates Roberto a little bit. Roberto really saw Vash and went "I gotta study this guy" lmao

Vash having absolutely Perfect trigger discipline lmao

OKAY SO THIS PART IS MY FAVOURITE. For reference I am a black belt in a couple different martial arts, and working to become a sensei in Goju Ryu Karate, so this sequence is delightful! Let's break it down :] The initial block is one we use to open up a person's body - if that arm is clear out of the way you can keep control of the gun arm in this case by just pushing outwards (And with Vash's additional strength in his prosthetic that's Pretty Dang Effective, especially because in gun situations you want to keep the gun barrel away from you, so you're taught to use two arms - Vash doesn't need to do that)

From there, he goes and grabs the guy's shoulder to pull him forward unexpectedly - this throws him off balance and shifts his weight onto Vash's, so Vash is taking all that bodyweight. From there, all Vash has to do is maintain his grip on the gun arm's wrist (keeping the gun away from both parties in case he accidentally fires or there's a misfire), then turn sharply and let the body follow through!

From there he keeps the grip on the wrist and twists, which sends the gun out of the guy's grip and out of danger. At the same time, he spins his own gun's grip and hits the back of the head with the barrel - Notably he lets go of the wrist, which, if he'd kept holding it, would break the arm. I'm not entirely sure which martial arts were referenced for Vash's style, but this is exactly the type of thing I teach! [For anyone interested, I practice Goju Ryu karate, aiki jiu jitsu, iado (sword), self defense, and general okinawan kobudo (weapons like the bo staff, sais, and nunchaku)]

okay i blacked out and am no longer in teaching mode. Vash's arm, when he picks up that rock, glows very very green

what does that mean? I have 0 idea, it could be that it's overstrained, or using more power than usual. I mean, he did rip a rock out of the ground.

Zaziecam birdworm heading to July from Jeneora Rock! Probably how Knives got word of where Vash was

This fucking scene. man y'all this scene HAUNTS me.

It's so. unreliable at best. this scene goes adult vash saying he has a brother into this flashback. knives says, in order, that "he finally did it", not to worry because the plants are fine, he got rem killed, and tells vash not to get mad because he's already his accomplice, and nothing else. now we Know that that's not the case because Knives directly adds in information in future renditions of this flashback (That Vash gave him the launch codes). Which. What else don't we know about this scene. Clearly it's been a little while, the fire is burning, and Knives had all this time to climb the tower while Vash was (unconscious?). I want to see it from Knives' pov.

Knives keeping a bunch of last run plant corpses as statues to.. remind himself of his goal I guess. I read Tristamp Knives as Trimax Knives taken to the extreme (will elaborate in one of the flashback episodes), so I think he's a touch uh. Extremely unhealthy.

And that's it for episode one! I hope if you read this you had fun and it wasn't too much of a slog to read lmao i'm just rambling. I hope you had fun if you made it this far :]

[atinydroid]

so I was listening to one of my Jason playlists and there's a song I put on there that I always have to listen to several times cause I get SO many feelings about it. I wish I could draw so I could do a cool animatic for it but cause I can't do that I'll just WRITE META ABOUT IT I GUESS

Here's the song. Sorry for the external link tumblr won't let me actually upload the song for some reason.

Breakdown of the song with my thoughts under the cut. (this is very long)

Starting with the chorus

Come paint my face Come take my hand I do not wish you to understand Someday you too Will go to war And by that time may you not fear death any more

Ok so I always listen to this song as if Red Hood Jason is looking at and talking to pre-Robin Jason or like has just been taken in by Bruce Jason. I can only imagine the emotions Jason has thinking about how happy and naive he was pre-Robin. Like yeah he went through a lot of shit with his parents and then living on the street but his stint as Robin and then getting killed by the Joker is just... something else. And "will go to war, and by that time may you not fear death any more." just kinda hits me so hard cause as soon as he put the Robin suit on he was pulled into Batman's war and not long after that death became a very large part of his life very quickly till it culminated with his own.

Fortune may hold you She's not your friend Kind words spoken Bows deepened Foulest creature may wear the sweetest smile Oh do not fear for I will see you in a while

This is obviously about Bruce taking him in and making him Robin. "Being Robin gives me magic!" He was so fortunate that Bruce found him and took him in. But I have to wonder if he regrets it at this point. Like he's died, been resurrected, tried to kill most of his family, gotten better but like is still not Okay(tm). And the fact that it starts off by talking about how good luck can turn and then ends with what is the best descriptor for the Joker that I have ever heard is just Jason poetry honestly.

Eyes upon you Through the years All of your troubles All of your fear Always watching Always see I am you now and you are me

This is just... man if you go back through his Robin run Bruce, Dick (and by extension the Titans) and even Babs were always kinda telling him he wasn't good enough. Bruce by pushing him to be more like Dick and Dick and Babs literally telling him he wasn't good enough to pick up the mantle from Dick. Not to mention all of rich Gotham society judging him for being from the poor side of town. And then later when he gets older and has more of his own opinions and gets more and more violent as Robin because he cares so much about the injustices he sees. Which only leads to Bruce and Dick saying he's too violent and one day he'll end up killing someone. ONLY for that to be followed by the Garzona thing. THIS SONG WAS MADE FOR JASON ISTG

If I should fall You take my sword All that is mine Will be yours Do not fear for those we leave behind The blood that runs in your veins it is mine

And it's like despite everything Robin Jason has been through he knows that what has happened to him to bring him to where he is now is inevitable and it's a cycle he can't change. And maybe sometimes he's not sure he even would given the chance. I'm sure there are moments where he looks at who is right now and how many people he has helped with the way he handles things and knows that Bruce's way doesn't always work and maybe it's good he ended up like this so he can make the hard choices Bruce can't. But he still wishes the young boy he was didn't have to suffer as he did.

I am a stone falling through black water On the bottom I start again I am a stone falling through black water My fall it never ends My fall it never ends

This part man... it feels like he's talking about his relationship with "justice" and how it influences his relationship with his family. Cause he very obviously still considers them all his family but he's stuck in a continuous cycle of wanting to be part of it but also knowing that his way of justice works. Because he knows what life on the poor side of Gotham is like and he KNOWS Batman's way of fighting the injustice that happens down there doesn't work long term. But he also struggles with the fact that sometimes killing someone can start a vicious cycle that leaves kids orphaned, just like him. And so his feelings on the subject are ever fluctuating and he can't help himself falling over and over into cycle of violence no matter how much he wants to get out of it.

SO YEAH I JUST HAVE A LOT OF JASON TODD FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. Sorry that was so long. hopefully it was coherent and made any form of sense. but also omg why did you read this whole thing.

also if anyone wants me to post my Jason playlists (i have 3) lmk and i will

[hunxi-after-hours]

Reading QianQiu after passively reading enough of your metas that I got faaar too involved without *knowing* anything and I'm *loving* it, so thank you so much! Sort of trying to do my best to read slowly because I unfortunately don't know enough Chinese to read the original and the translation isn't complete (and MTL is not my thing, especially as someone who has worked in translation). Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I love you and your posts and thoughts on danmei, on YanShen, on *flails arms* literally everything. 🥺

Sadly, recently I've sort of seen a lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment around (blocked the tag, but then the guilt-tripping kept churning in my head, so I went down the rabbit hole of discourse and uh, you know how *that* goes), so I meant to ask you something, as you're one of the rare people whose intellect I deeply, deeply respect. I know you've talked about fujoshi and the history of that term in some depth before and I too have looked at other Japanese breakdowns of this thing, but I was thinking that...what *does* constitute "fetishisation"? When does it crossover from shipping into *that* territory? I...struggle seeing myself doing anything of that sort, not because of some egoistic moral purity but because... I've literally blubbered and sobbed, complete with very nice sounding hiccups, over these mlm stories, Hunxi, as I'm sure many of us have too! Maybe it's romanticisation of gay ships, but that's not similar to fetishizing, and mlm... *is* about gay romance so lol. I'm just confused about this deal: what's the line? Is there even one? Shouldn't fetishisation be a concern about...real queer relationships (I tentatively offer the example of idol-shipping) and not characters in fictional landscapes?

sldkfjsdlkj okay first of all anon I want to point out the deep, deep irony in asking someone who identifies as ace to weigh in on fetishization discourse, because someone out there deserves to get at least a chuckle out of that

secondly, I do want to reiterate that I deliberately avoided talking about fetishization discourse in this post precisely because I feel dramatically unqualified to do so, but uhhh sure, guess I'll throw my 0.2 cents below the cut, all imaginable qualifiers apply

let’s come at this sideways, so hold my hand, we’re going on a thought experiment:

let’s say, for purposes of discussion, that there is a man with an Asian fetish. for ease of caricature, let’s say he is a straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish. Asian women turn him on; he is interested in becoming sexually and romantically involved with Asian women; he experiences sexual arousal in the company of Asian women; et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

so a fetish is, by its dictionary definition, an object or person, physical or imagined, that causes sexual arousal. An Asian fetish means that Asian women, or perhaps Asian-ness in general (whatever that means to you), causes sexual arousal. still with me?

cool, because here’s the thing about sexual arousal: it has fuck-all to do with consent

arousal is a bodily, physiological response to stimuli (external or imagined), which means that, generally speaking, we don’t have control over what arouses us. people can become sexually aroused by stimuli (pornography, sexual contact) without wanting to be aroused at all. arousal is not a sign of secret consent, or secretly wanting sex. me being allergic to pollen isn’t an indicator of my secret hatred for flowers--it’s a bodily response to external stimuli. Likewise, arousal just happens--it’s an indicator of nothing more, and nothing less, than the fact that something has triggered a physiological response, and it happens to be sexual in nature

so back to our hypothetical straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish. he discovers one day that there is a pattern to his sexual arousal, and that he’s really, really into Asian women. okay

I don’t think there’s anything inherently, morally, existentially, metaphysically wrong with having a fetish, just as there isn’t anything inherently, morally, existentially, or metaphysically wrong with having allergies. so your body has a certain response to certain external stimuli, okay! the question that follows, then, is this: what do you do about it?

let’s say our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man decides to learn more about Asia, since hey, he’s got a vested interest, right? perhaps he begins taking Japanese lessons, which leads to him taking Japanese history courses, which leads to him studying abroad in Japan, which leads to him to writing a dissertation, to getting a P.h.D., to becoming one of the foremost Japanologists in the Anglophone sphere (oh, let’s assume he’s an English-speaker too for simplicity’s sake). He marries his Japanese girlfriend of seven years and celebrates every other new year’s with her family, where he chats up his in-laws with his accented-but-fluent Japanese and never fails to delight the distant cousin who still thinks it’s wildly novel that this white man can speak Japanese and reference anything from history to memes.

He still has an Asian fetish, which becomes relevant in the bedroom, becomes relevant when his girlfriend suggests children and he thinks about it and says sure, you just got tenure and I’m a year away from it, if you really want a kid let’s have one, and anyway they’ve been married for three years so it’s not like this is anything new to them

but back to where we began, which is with a straight, cisgender, Anglophone white man with an Asian fetish. can we say, in this idealized, hypothetical scenario of interracial romance and domestic bliss, that he did anything wrong?

was it wrong of him to study Japan? no, gatekeeping fields of study based on ethnicity is pretty backward, essentialist, and counterproductive. was it wrong of him to date an Asian woman? no, since we’re assuming that their relationship is fully consensual and joyful. was it wrong of him, a straight, cisgender Anglophone white man, who enjoys all the intersectional privileges based on his race and gender and birth and presentation, to date an Asian woman? no, because no single individual person is responsible for global systems of hegemonic, imperialist, and heteropatriarchal power structures that have formulated over literal centuries of human existence. individuals may participate in these power structures; they may be complicit, participatory, rebellious, subversive, but individuals are not, by virtue of the accident of birth, responsible for the existence of structures that preceded them into the world

all of which is to say, I think our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish who dedicated his life to studying Japan and married a Japanese woman has, well, tried his best. sure, his point of departure might have been sexual arousal, but he didn’t stop there, didn’t let that become the end-all and be-all of his relationship with Asian-ness

so it seems to me that the problem of fetishes is not that they exist, but in how we respond to them--which is to say, the transition from ‘fetish’ to ‘fetishization,’ the verbifying of the noun in question

fetishization is a problem when it reduces the object (or person, real or imagined) to nothing more than its sexual purpose. when Asian women are reduced to nothing more than sexual objects, flattening their complexity and humanity into nothing more than a thing that inspires sexual arousal--that’s a problem. or hmm, what else gets slapped with the ‘fetishization’ label... oh sure, why not--loyalty kinks (also known as fealty kinks, often seen in bodyguard-client dynamics, or soldier-commander dynamics, or vassal-lord dynamics). is there anything inherently wrong with enjoying those dynamics, or portrayals of these dynamics? no, of course not--these relationships can be incredibly powerful and moving, in fiction or in reality, and there’s a saying somewhere about babies and bathwater that seems relevant here. the point is, if you reduce these relationships of intense loyalty and devotion to nothing more than the fact that you get sexually aroused by them, that’s where I think you’d run into trouble

so, back to the original question: where does enjoying a mlm relationship in a text end, and fetishizing mlm relationships begin? well, if the above logic extends this far, then the line is drawn at the reduction of mlm relationships to nothing more than the consumer’s sexual arousal. the line’s a bit wonky in fiction/media because, like--look, if it’s pornography or PWP fic, the whole point of it is sexual arousal, and we are not getting into a discussion about the morals of pornography--but again, the line is drawn at action, and specifically action that affects other people. if our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish decided not to go out of his way to do anything about his Asian fetish (we’re not going to condemn him for what he does alone in the privacy of his bedroom, but let’s say he doesn’t catcall Asian women or stereotype them or make advances upon them either), then like. idk, that seems fine to me, you’re not obliged to make a sexual fetish your life’s driving purpose either, that’s like saying everyone with a foot fetish has to become a podiatrist and uhhh that seems a little ill-advised but that might just be me

this is getting stupid long again sdflskdfjslk but I think the tl;dr of it is that it’s perfectly fine and normal to have a fetish, just be critically aware of how it motivates your actions and the way you think, speak, and act (and how your thoughts, words, and actions affect the people you interact with). reductive fetishization doesn’t have to look like catcalling women on their street based on physical appearance; it might look like a blockbuster movie that reduces other people, aesthetics, or cultures to sexualized and exoticized set dressing with no complexity or critical examination. it might look like romanticizing or sexualizing fictional queer relationships and forcibly projecting that fictional romanticization/sexualization onto very real queer people and attempting to reduce them to your personal fantasies, regardless of their own experiences, feelings, beliefs, and desires. it might look like blithely or belligerently ignoring cultural complexity and historical context in favor of the specific interpretation that turns you on

tl;dr for real -- just be respectful and aware of how your preferences and biases influence the way you speak and interact with other people, especially in fandom spaces, and idk you’ll probably be fine

[okarne]

Wait hold on, I wanna know how c!ranboo plays a role in c!fundys breakdown /gen

Thank you v much for this ask 🥺🙏 There's a TL;DR at the end!

/dsmp meta (characters unless specified otherwise) Just in case, I wanna start by emphasizing that I said it was accidental and indirect. I don't actually believe that Ranboo planned this ahead of time. I also don't think this is an excuse to what Fundy did; it's only an explanation. Feel free to disagree! Just be nice. :>

To explain myself, I have two main points:

why Fundy had that mental breakdown in the first place; and

who Ranboo is (or was) in Fundy's life.

So...

🎆—Why the breakdown?

What led Fundy to do what he did?

Well... maybe the lack of sleep, the crippling fear of being destroyed in his home country and have its history erased, and he was tortured and nearly died drowning in his own tears just in the past 90 hours? I'm just guessing.

I joke (mostly,) but it makes sense. I don't think anyone in his position would've been in their most rational thinking. And long before then, Fundy had always exhibited signs of carried baggage and unresolved trauma. Ranboo was just one part of the many triggers.

In Fundy's Doomsday streams (particularly The Backstab,) he states that he feels that:

everything he has ever done in his life has resulted to nothing but bad outcomes,

everyone who has ever loved him is gone; and

he has no real value.

He points that no matter what "side" he goes to, he always ends up ruining everything. He says everyone he loved has either died, or ended up being against his side or a traitor. So in some weak attempt at happiness, he decides that he should just live for his own survival, and profit off of Doomsday, while everyone is busy trying to kill each other. (He doesn't really get to do much, but the point is that this was his plan.)

But...

🎇—Who is Ranboo?

What does he have to do with all of this?

A lot of current Dream SMP fans (especially those who came post-Doomsday) may not be aware of just how close Fundy and Ranboo used to be, and in turn, how important Ranboo was to Fundy. In one of the Green Festival preparation streams, Fundy claims, albeit sounding lighthearted and joke-y, that he would not be able to live without Ranboo. Fundy held Ranboo at a very high regard, even if he didn't truly mean that statement.

🎊—But what is his role in Fundy's breakdown exactly?

The sides argument, and Fundy's desperate need for validation. Fundy valued Ranboo's opinion a lot, and at multiple times sought for his validation. And whether Ranboo meant it or not, his sides argument sounded a lot like victim-blaiming. "You shouldn't have built this nation. It's just a drug van." You are the problem. Perfect fuel for Fundy's self-loathing.

If the nation was the problem... everything he fought for, everything he lived for... means nothing.

In The Backstab, on meeting Niki, Fundy learns the plan to "teach everyone a lesson," and agrees to the idea. He points that what Ranboo said the day before is correct—taking sides is the problem. So Ranboo would love this idea!

(...not.)

Fundy scared Ranboo off, and Ranboo rejected Fundy. And in that rejection, Fundy had effectively lost everyone.

After Doomsday, he has these thoughts:

I can be a target of everyone's ire (no one would miss me anyway,) to force everyone to a singular side.

And if I succeed, maybe... maybe then I'll finally be useful.

...buuuut we all know nothing really happened to that! Which is, I think, a good thing. I very much prefer the plot he's got going on right now, though I understand not everyone may agree to this choice.

🎋—TL;DR

The breakdown happened because of a lot of self-loathing.

Ranboo accidetally fed a lot into that self-loathing.

Yeah, that's it actually. Nyah ヾ(•ω•`)

[hematomes]

Yeah, and I'm honestly very worried about that..

I have also heard about the Xiao situation and I think the same kinda happened with Kazuha? I do remember seeing some posts about people sending horrible stuff to those who obtained him but not as bad as Xiao.

I just hope people won't lose their minds but I know a lot are probably gonna lose it, unfortunately. I know a LOOOOT of people love Scaramouche and don't get me wrong, I like him a lot as well, I think he is a very interesting character but I'm scared of what people are gonna do.

If he doesn't come out and it's maybe the same with the whole Signora thing or he just disappears or literally anything, people are gonna be extremely upset and if he does come out, I'm worried about the people that will get him, I just hope they don't receive horrible threats and so much more.

Co-Op is gonna be hell for sure, I'll just be quietly watching what will happen, let's hope the fandom won't go crazy and do anything stupid..

Sorry if this came out as rude or anything, feel free to rant about anything that is on your mind.

Have a wonderful day. ❤️

yeah kazuha received a lot of hate from the 'meta slaves' (almost everyone regretted skipping him afterwards tho lmao) and kazuha havers were resented by those who lost the 50/50 and stuff. i myself received some rather spicy anon asks but i tend to just block and delete without a thought so yk zkdkzk

i wanted to keep the ramble to a minimum but it turned out long in the end so uh utc!!

honest the community is quite uh... filled to the brim with loud, toxic people. it's still a minority, but it's really, really loud and it's hard to ignore most of the time. i love scaramouche too, his lore is insane, his charadesign is gorgeous and his japanese voice actor was the one voicing my first ever crush (natsu.... what a time) so im kinda attached to him but not to the point where i'd handwrite his name **1,200 times** or have a breakdown bc he might not fit the idealized version of him i crafted over the year. this one i genuinely don't understand, i think most of the scara fandom has kinda correctly depicted him psychology-wise, he's a villain and shit, but you have to take into account that if he's playable, it most likely means redemption act, or at least a good reason for him joining our party and stop trying to kill us (in some degree at least, bc childe still wants to fight us lmao). and just because he has some depth and nuances doesn't mean he's ruined, just that he's more human than wr thought. i like the idea of playable scaramouche bc not only will we get his lore (hopefully more than with kokomi, ngl her story content is EMPTY) but also we'll get to know the character better. for now we have snippets, bits of a man with so much potential it's kind of insane. but the thing is, when i see how they act, i feel almost ashamed lmao bc i don't want to be associated with this sort of crowd. just like the xiao mains when his banner came out, it was a shitshow and players came into my world just to insult me bc i got him day one?? like,,, i don't understand

let's hope it doesn't go downhill when/if he becomes playable!! and know that if anything ill keep this blog absolutely safe, if you wanna ramble about anything hehe

it came off as anything but rude omg don't worry i love hearing ppl's thoughts!! kinda used the opportunity to go overboard anyway- and a wonderful day to you too <333

[akira-emberheart]

songs I'd like to assign to the glee kids (part I)

Note: I'm pretty well known for making playlists and more playlists, and ever since seeing this post by @cracktastic about assigning, for the 100th episode, the least expected song to the least expected character, I've found myself craving to hear specific characters sing specific songs.

(I've also started another separate list to add on to that post I mentioned, but that will be a post for another day)

So after going through my music library, I came up with a small list of songs for each character that I would love to hear them sing, for various reasons, which i'll do my best to explain.

This got really long really fast, because I like to get into meta and over analyze - I'm also just very passionate about music. For that reason, I'll do 5 songs at a time for a specific character, and I'll be putting a read more.

Also, please be gentle with me - I've watched Glee a year ago, and it's entirely possible I may be missing or confusing scenes and storylines in my head. If I do, let me know!

If you read this and find yourself thinking of songs and scenarios as well, do share them with me! I'm working on actual Spotify Playlists as well.

So let's get into it -

for Kurt Hummel

> Re: Stacks by Bon Iver

"This is not the sound of a new man

or crispy realization

It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

Your love will be

Safe with me"

This is probably one of my favorite songs ever, and I first thought about it for Kurt after realising how beautiful his voice would sound in it, because of its crystal clear and poised quality. (I liked it so much I included it in a scene on my fanfic too).

If you don't know Bon Iver, or the history of this song, it's the last track in an album full of more..."depressing" songs. It's also the one that has a throughout tone of hope, of recovery after a hard ordeal, of taking some first steps to a better place.

I imagine it would be a good song for him around the time he meets Blaine - when the Karovsky situation is nearly over, and he starts looking back on his school year - Burt's heart attack, the bullying - and, now with Blaine in his life, and a renewed self confidence, he's finally able to confidently step into a better phase of his life and heal from all he went through.

I see this one being sung in a quiet moment of reflection, when he's alone. Maybe in the choir room, or even outdoors in a nice garden. In my fanfic I wrote it in a different context, in Blaine's room at night, so I guess that works in my head too.

***

> Enchanted by Taylor Swift

"I'm wonderstruck

Blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you"

I'm very fascinated with Kurt's whole storyline in S2 - things start off so rough for him, but when Blaine comes along, and when Kurt is able to grow and shift more and assuming the person he really is, things start looking up. I chose this song for what it promises, and also because I can imagine it in Kurts lower singing register and it seems like a good one for him. Also, yes, I was a kid who owned Speak Now. Sue me.

This song is about first meeting someone very special, and that happens to be the beginning of Klaine. With the almost whispered lyrics, the slowly crescent ambiance and rhythm, it really encapsulates the feeling of everything stopping when you lay eyes in that one special person, and the flooding rush of emotions that happens right after.

Kurt had no idea how much an unsuspecting visit to a rival show coir school would change his life, even less in the midst of the situation he was in. It also seems fitting for Kurt and his early relationship with Blaine because of some specific lyrics ("This is me praying now / This was the very first page / Not where the storyline ends"). Enchanted tells the story of a special first meeting, and hints at something special to come, from the perspective of someone who is awestruck for someone.

Like the one above, this one would fit in early S2, possibly in EP6, after Kurt and Blaine's meeting at Dalton Academy. When he's back home, alone in his room, daydreaming, or when he's back at McKinley in that same afternoon.

***

> Gonna Get Over You by Sara Bareilles

"Oooh, how am I gonna get over you? I'll be alright, just not tonight But someday. Hey, I wish you'd want me to stay I'll be alright, just not tonight"

My main reason for choosing this one is because I think it fits very very well with Kurt's voice, and musical taste - its a very vibrant and poppy song, despite the more depressing theme - a post breakup promise of getting over it.

I first thought of it for S4, soon after the Breakup™, but paying close attention to the lyrics (I do tend to get stuck on just the melody sometimes), it makes more sense to place this on during the S6 Breakup - when Kurt finds out about Blaine dating Karovsky, after deciding he wants Blaine back.

So it's a hard situation for him, as we see from his breakdown in the bathroom (poor Kurt!), and he really has to come to terms with the mistakes he made (and the mistakes they both made as a couple), pick himself up, and move on.

I imagine this one being sung during an outing with Rachel, when she's trying to cheer him up and lift him up a little from his depression. My brain readily produces an image of a sunny street or a shopping mall that the two of them walk through, Kurt with some nice vivid colored clothes, finally being able to smile and ready to perhaps start moving on, or at least ready to start considering he will be okay.

***

> Killer Queen by Queen

"She keeps her Moet et Chandon

In her pretty cabinet

"Let them eat cake", she says

Just like Marie Antoinette"

This song just reminds me of Kurt. It's one of my all time favorites from Queen, and ever since watching Glee, these two are just connected in my mind. Voice wise, Kurt could definitely handle it.

It's apparently about a "high class prostitute"(? Freddie's word's, not mine), but still paints a pretty and dainty picture, and you can almost picture a porcelain faced lady in her best clothes, delicately smoking a cigarette. It also contains words that probably only Kurt can pronounce out of everyone in the glee club.

Many Queen songs were sung on Glee, but I don't think there was ever a Queen episode. For this one, I suggest a headcanon scenario, maybe during S3, when Mr. Shuester decides to have a Queen week - and Kurt isn't known for going with the obvious choices. He wants to be classy, edgy and impressive, and he sings in front of everyone, half in the choir room, half in the auditorium, perhaps with some fancy decoration and dancers behind him.

***

> The Answer by Kodaline

"You might think you found the one

Until your heart gets ripped and torn

Yeah, I used to feel bad, I used to feel like that

I still feel a bit like that"

This is another one that I picked immediately solely based on Kurt's voice - I really do like his voice with just a quiet, discrete instrumental. Looking into it further, I decided it could really work for Kurt's character.

I didn't go very deep into the intended meaning of the song, because it definitely has space for different interpretations. I choose to go with the breakup one. These lyrics here reminded me a little of the S4 breakup storyline - "We all fall down from the highest clouds / to the lowest ground" - makes me think how well Kurt's life was going once he arrived in New York, with the internship, his apartment situation with Rachel, a new and exciting place where he could freely be himself... and then he's completely blindsided by Blaine's cheating. He goes from being ecstatic and excited at Blaine's appearance, looking forward to share with him all the great things he just discovered, when Blaine's confession sends him to a well of despair, doubt and loneliness. The lyrics "You might think you found the one / until your heart gets ripped and torn" - reinforce the whole situation.

I can see him singing this not long after the breakup, on one more sleepless night, maybe walking alone through the streets of New York, or maybe in a montage of his busy daily routine, while he just gets through the day with a whole lot of emptiness weighing on his chest.