#maybe I should just get drunk lmao but it's a Monday so probably now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

retrievablememories · 3 years ago

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love thy neighbor | kun (m)

title: love thy neighbor pairing: kun x black reader genre: fluff, smut, neighbors to lovers request: “Hello again Rain! I hope you're doing well and I'm happy to see you're open for requests again. Your writing in general is a treat to look forward to. An idea for a fic I'd like to suggest is wayv kun/black oc where they're neighbors that secretly pine for another and do feel free get very nsfw lmao. TY!” word count: 5.7k warnings: alcohol use, protected sex, dirty talk, dry humping, riding a/n: i used a prompt from this list of ideas to help me create this fic.

i’m sorry, this fic could’ve theoretically been finished long ago but took me 3893 years because kun intimidates me (and i don’t know why) and that makes it hard to write for him l m f a o chile anyway...

Your neighbor might actually kill you one day—but only in the figurative sense.

Kun is too beautiful and kind for your sanity; he’s like one of those men out of a romantic novel who simply should not exist. In other words, the ideal guy. One who helps all the little old ladies in the building take their groceries up to their apartments, one who feeds all the stray cats that hang around the complex, one who helps new tenants move their things in without even being asked.

Your roommate Charlotte would probably be totally smitten over him just like you if she did not already have her own happy relationship with her girlfriend. But since she does, she has decided to spend her time instead teasing you about your crush on him and trying to persuade you into getting tangled up in a matchmaking mess.

“I’m sure he already has a girlfriend, I don’t know, trying to shoot my shot seems ridiculous,” you say to her, worrying the edge of your blanket in your hands. You toss and turn on the couch, flipping onto your stomach and sighing before shuffling onto your back again. “People like that can never stay single for long. Right? They get snapped up quick.”

“You’d know if you simply asked,” Charlotte points out. “Staring holes into his head won’t help you find out more about him.”

“I guess you’re right,” you say, your fingers stumbling over the blanket as it momentarily slips from your hands. Still, the idea of asking him if he’s dating anyone, whether discreetly or more openly, makes you nervous. You’ve talked to Kun several times before, even hung out with him at those friendly get-togethers your apartment building always holds to get the residents mingling, but you’re still anxious around him. It makes you feel silly, like you’re back in high school; but you aren’t quite sure what to do with those emotions or how to form them into something coherent. “Easy to say all that when you already have the person you want, though.”

“Oh, girl. Love is not easy, but that’s why you have to fucking work for it. AKA, go for what—or who—the hell you want and stop pining over him like some lost Juliet on our couch. It’s better than watching you flop around like a dying fish.”

You stand up from the couch abruptly, leaving your blanket to the side and glaring at her. “You don’t get it, ugh.”

“I get it! But you refuse to let me help—”

“Yes, because if I did, you’d say something completely ridiculous and tell him I’m madly in love with him or something.” You head to the bathroom to check yourself in the mirror.

Charlotte throws her hands up in surrender. “Hey, maybe. But that wouldn’t be a lie.”

“Really? I don’t think—”

“I think so. The way you talk about this guy, it’s definitely sounding a little like love to me.”

Once you’re satisfied, you come back in the main room and grab your keys, wanting to end this conversation before Charlotte sets a world record for how many times she can make you feel embarrassed. “Whatever you say. I’m gonna go to the corner store, so...speak now if you need something or forever hold your peace.”

“You can’t run from it,” Charlotte sing-songs, going back to reading her magazine. “And no, I don’t need anything.”

Once you get out your front door, it’s just your luck when you see Kun’s door is also open. You are not dressed for running into him, of all people; your “corner store” clothes being just a T-shirt, leggings, and slides. You freeze in place and momentarily think about unlocking your door and bolting back inside, which you realize is utterly ridiculous. By then, it’s too late; he’s already coming out his door and closing it behind him.

He perks up when he sees you outside, smiling at you with those deep dimples that make your insides melt. “Hey Y/N, good to see you.”

“Kun! Uh—great to see you too.”

“Are you going out somewhere?” he asks. Inwardly, he feels a bit silly for asking because you clearly are, keys in hand and everything.

“Yeah, just to the store to get a few things.” You wave your hand, and you almost have the urge to lean on your doorframe to appear more calm and collected than you are. Which could potentially end up looking sillier than you intended. “How about you?”

“Going to see a friend,” he answers, and he brushes his hand through his hair in a way that’s completely casual but somehow modelesque at the same time. This is unbelievable, you think to yourself. “We haven’t met up in a while, so…”

“Oh yeah, it’s always nice to go out with old friends,” you say, smiling at the thought of it. Kun nods his agreement, and then has an abrupt, wild idea to ask if you’d like to go out somewhere sometime. Too busy warring with himself over whether he should take the dive, he doesn’t notice you heading towards the stairs already. “I hope you two have a good time!”

“Oh—thanks. Hope you enjoy your trip.” He chuckles, following you down the steps to get to his car. Well, that moment has passed. Sure, he could probably still ask you now if he was bold enough about it, but it feels too awkward to randomly ask someone out in the middle of a stairwell.

You wave bye to him once you both get in the parking lot. He watches you walk to your car with a wistful smile on his face. He wants to say more to you, but the timing isn’t right and it’s best not to hold you up right now. Plus, Hendery’s probably already waiting for him.

It would’ve provided you with a lot of relief if you knew Kun was facing a similar dilemma to you. He’d never had much problem talking to women he liked in the past, but something about you made him feel clumsy and hesitant. But just like with your inability to move forward, there’s no way for you to know his feelings without him saying anything about it—which he has been hesitating over for the longest.

Maybe he was also still cowering from the embarrassment of the time he’d tried to show you a magic trick that didn’t quite work out, but it was a convenient excuse. At least for him, anyway.

One day he’d get the courage to tell you how he felt, but he didn’t think today was that day.

–

Some strong shots and a few hours at the club was exactly what you needed to unravel your nerves after a long week. You and a few others from your work had decided to go out that Saturday night as a group effort to unwind from dealing with your overbearing boss. “Just a couple shots” eventually turned into more than that, though, but you weren’t complaining. As long as it gave you the opportunity to discard all your issues for a while, you didn’t mind losing yourself a little.

However, your night of fun quickly dissolves into frustration when you realize you’ve lost your keys and have no way to get back into your apartment. You’re not even sure where they might’ve disappeared—in the club, or in the rideshare back to your apartment?

Charlotte is out of the city for the week visiting her long-distance girlfriend, so there’s no way you’re getting back in your apartment tonight. The main office won’t be open at this hour, either; it’s the weekend, and nobody will be there regardless until Monday. And you’re definitely not drunk enough or desperate enough to try to bust the door down.

Though it pains you to do so, you knock on Kun’s door, your head throbbing and dizzy. You feel bad about this. He won’t even be awake at this hour and might not answer, but you don’t know what other options you have. You aren’t familiar enough with your other neighbors to ask this of them. Especially not the old lady living on the other side of you who has a perpetually judgmental aura towards everyone in the apartment building. The only person she seems marginally approving of is none other than the man himself—Qian Kun.

It takes a good minute or two, but you hear the latch unlock, and Kun is suddenly standing in front of you, a look of concern on his sleepy face. He is adorable like this, in his pajamas and his hair mussed and his eyes foggy with sleep. He’s so cute it makes you want to cry—and so you do.

But your tears are mostly because you’re very tipsy and tired and currently locked out of your very comfortable apartment.

This awakens Kun immediately. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He gently pulls you into his apartment, his tone quiet but panicked as you put your face in your hands and cry. You just shake your head for a few moments, crying too much to say anything to him. When you don’t reply, he doesn't try to press you for answers; he just puts his arms around you, a bit carefully as if you’re made of some easily breakable material, and lets you wet his T-shirt with your tears.

Finally, when you’ve collected yourself some, you abruptly feel foolish for crying over something like this. He probably thinks someone’s died, and you’ve gotten him all worked up for practically nothing. “I-I’m locked out,” you sigh heavily, and he has enough politeness not to outwardly react to your alcohol breath with your close proximity. “And my roommate is gone…forever.”

His eyebrows lift. “Forever?”

“The whole week, Kun...but it feels like...f-forever.”

“Ah...I see. Is that why you were crying?”

You put your head back in your hands. “Just kill me.”

“Don’t feel bad about it,” Kun says, and there is a tiny lift to his mouth like he wants to smile at your dramatics. “It’s fine. You can stay here tonight.”

“Kun, thank you.” You’re still loosely embracing each other, and you squeeze your arms more tightly around him. Maybe it’s just a reason to rest your head on his chest again and hear his heart beating strong against your cheek, but you wouldn’t admit that. Wait, why is his heart beating so fast? “Thank youuu, I love you so much, this means the world to me.”

Kun’s mind catches on the words I love you so much, and he knows you’re just drunk and need to sleep it off and aren’t really thinking about what you’re saying, but he cannot help lingering there for a moment. He’s glad the front room is still dim from the single lamp he turned on, otherwise you might notice the flush growing on his cheeks. “I...it’s no problem. We should get you comfortable, then.”

As it turns out, get you comfortable means he lets you sleep in his bed while he takes the couch. In another context you’d protest, not wanting to kick him out of his own space, but you are simply too smashed to think about it. You’re seconds away from falling asleep where you stand now that the adrenaline of discovering you’re locked out has worn off. Kun has the idea to make you drink some ice cold water, though, which wakes you up enough to take a proper shower.

By the time you get out of the shower and are wearing his clothes—his clothes—you are feeling a little more sober. You also feel like you’re going to have another small meltdown over all this. “This” being: wearing Kun’s clothes and standing in his bedroom, which is decorated with all his interests and treasured belongings. There’s a small studio setup in one corner, which interests you, but you don’t investigate it any further.

Now you have another little problem, though; what are you gonna do about the pillows? You don’t have anything to cover your hair with, with all your scarves and bonnets in your own apartment. One night of sleeping on a cotton pillow wouldn’t kill you, but that doesn’t make it any less distasteful to think about.

Kun comes into the bedroom to check on you and sees you puzzling around, sitting on the bed and looking awkward. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh. It’s nothing really,” you rush out, unsure if you should tell him about a problem he likely won’t even understand. It must be at least 4:00 a.m. by now, meaning you both desperately need to get some sleep.

“You can tell me, I won’t bite.”

I wouldn’t mind if you did pops into your head, but you immediately try to ignore that thought and are silently grateful that you do not blush visibly.

“Uh, my hair.”

“Your hair?”

“Okay, I need to cover it at night so it won’t get all broken off or anything—sleeping on cotton does wonders for destroying moisture—but I don’t have anything here to use. I mean—it’s...not a huge deal though, I can deal with it for a night?” You’re rambling now. Kun just nods, taking in all this information like he’s listening to something very important and very interesting.

“So then, what would you do to stop that?”

“Wear a scarf, or a bonnet, or using a silk pillowcase works, too. But you probably don’t have any of that stuff, you don’t have to bother with it—”

“Well, let me see.” Kun disappears into his closet and you pause, wondering for a moment if he actually does have a bonnet or something in there. Which would probably be a little hilarious to you.

He comes back out with not a bonnet of a scarf or even a pillowcase, but one of his own shirts. It’s just the right material though, being a pretty purple silk.

“Oh—Kun.” At this point, there are several emotions all trying to come to the forefront, though you have no clue which one to settle on. “Your shirt? You really don’t have to. I could…”

“It’s just a shirt, Y/N. There are a lot more where that comes from...I don’t mind.” He chuckles.

You sigh bashfully but take the shirt from him. “Thank you, it’s really thoughtful of you.” You cover the pillow with his shirt, and it works perfectly.

“Anyway, if you need anything else, just tell me,” he says, lingering by the door.

“I will...thank you,” you say, your voice quiet as you give him a nervous smile. Only when he shuts the door and his footsteps fade away do you allow yourself to bunch the comforter in your fists and scream into it. Everything in here smells just like him, which is probably more than enough to fuel all of your Qian Kun-related daydreams for the next 8 months.

It doesn’t take long for you to drift off when you finally do lie down, and your mind is blissfully empty of anything throughout the night.

The next day takes a bit of settling into. You’re momentarily alarmed when you wake up faced with a strange room until you remember last night’s events and recall where you are. There is also the smell of food, good food, which is also sadly unfamiliar to you. Charlotte can’t cook to save either of your lives, so you know you’d never be waking up to the smell of a professional chef-approved breakfast if you were still in your apartment with her.

Walking out of Kun’s room, you see that he’s in the kitchen, halfway finished with cooking breakfast for the both of you. It’s more like brunch at this hour, but what does that matter.

You linger at the doorway for a moment, allowing yourself to imagine that this is what things would be like if you were dating. Getting this view everyday? Life cannot be this unfair.

Maybe not too much, though, since you are standing in his kitchen.

“Oh, good morning,” he greets you, breaking your reverie. “Did you sleep well?”

“Good morning. I slept great. Thanks again for, you know, the shirt, haha…”

He grins, and his dimples come out. “Sure thing. Go ahead and sit! Breakfast will be ready soon.”

It’s the best breakfast you’ve eaten since living with Charlotte; maybe some of the best food you’ve ever had. “I had no idea you could cook this well,” you say. “I mean. I guess I wouldn’t since I haven’t—you know, uh��eaten here before, but—it’s great.” It’s just your luck that your thoughts come out in this fumbling mini-rant, but Kun only laughs good-naturedly.

“Thank you, I’m truly glad you like it.”

You both continue eating breakfast while making light conversation. This just might be the longest conversation you’ve had with each other, and that knowledge seems surreal. You’re almost a little glad you lost your key. Almost.

“So...today is Sunday. And the leasing office still won’t be open until Monday.” Kun says this over the remnants of breakfast. He speaks in a measured tone, like he’s trying to ensure he says the right thing. Whatever that could possibly be. “And you told me your roommate won’t be back until Monday.”

To your credit, you hadn’t exactly accounted for this when you first came over to his place in your distressed state. That means another night spent in his apartment though, which becomes very obvious to you now. “Ah. Sorry, am I imposing?”

“What—no, I-I just wanted to make sure you knew you can stay here tonight, or—however long you need.”

Relief floods through you, and you briefly wonder why you even worried about it; as far as you know, he’s not the kind of person to just kick someone out. “Ohh, of course—that’s good to know. Thank you for all this!”

“You’re welcome.” You miss the smile he gives to your response as you’re busy drinking your juice, but it’s one filled with a certain affection.

It feels a bit awkward to just sit around in his apartment all day, with nothing to do and all your belongings still locked out of your reach in your own place, so Kun shows you the studio in the corner of his room. He’d talked about being into music before, but you’d never heard anything of his until now.

When he plays the keyboard for you, it’s to the tune of a beautiful self-composed song. You almost pinch yourself to remind yourself this isn’t a hallucination or a fever dream. A man this appealing really exists, and you’ve stayed the night in his apartment and eaten his breakfast. You give a small round of applause when he finishes.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if you became a famous singer or something? I’d come to all your concerts,” you say lightly, kicking your legs on the edge of his bed.

“All? Really, all?” He laughs.

“Yes, all. A voice and talent like that deserves all the attention.” You lean back on his bed, stretching your legs out. “But all your venues would probably be sold out. Hopefully you’d remember me from your lil’ ole apartment building. I’m sure you’d be living in a penthouse by then.”

Kun smiles bashfully at your compliments, waving his hands as if it’s too much. “Thank you. But I don’t think I could ever forget you.” His voice grows a bit softer. His expression is more genuine than you expect for a conversation that was so playful only seconds ago, and you find it hard to hold eye contact all of a sudden.

It is your turn to be bashful, and you shrug in an effort to seem natural. “Well, I’m flattered.” Despite your unaffected demeanor, you don’t think those words will leave your mind for a good while, even if you wonder about the meaning of them.

Later that evening, Kun makes dinner and you watch TV together, flipping to whatever channels have dramas or movies playing.

You two eventually fall into another conversation when you can’t find anything good to watch—one that does not make you overly nervous for once. During a lull in the talking, that big question pops up into your mind, and you wince internally at how Charlotte would’ve already told you to make a move. You aren't sure how to do that without making him uncomfortable or seeming too sudden, but you decide to make an attempt.

You edge into it with, “So, um, your place looks pretty nice for one guy. It’s just you here, right?”

“Ah yeah, just me. Thanks, I do try my best.”

“Haha, I’m used to my guy friends all having super messy apartments until they get a girlfriend and she teaches them how to clean a stove for the first time…”

“Oh really? That’s a bit sad for them, isn’t it?” He chuckles. “I’m not dating anyone right now, so it’s all me.”

Just the information you were looking for. You try not to show your elation. “Why not?” you blurt out. Then you cringe because this might sound too invasive or even judgmental, but Kun only grins. “It’s just, it’s a little surprising. You’re such a generous person. You seem to care about everyone, even those poor stray kitties that stay outside the apartments all the time.”

He smiles timidly in response to receiving more of your compliments. “I guess it seems curious when you put it like that.” Just like when you’d drunkenly said I love you so much, there’s suddenly heat on the back of his neck that he hopes won’t turn into another blush that’ll expose him. “I don’t really know, I haven’t thought much about it; life’s weird like that.” He isn’t really sure how to answer that question in a way that won’t be too big of a hint that he’s interested in you, though he’s also not entirely sure why he’s still trying to hide it. Wouldn’t now be the perfect opportunity? When will you two have this much time together again? Still, you staying in his apartment for two days doesn’t mean you like him, and maybe he’s jumping the gun.

“That’s true. Guess that’s the same reason why I’ve been alone for a while now.” You shake your head.

“You?” Kun is equally surprised to know this about you.

You laugh incredulously. “Does that shock you or something?”

“I...well.” He rubs the back of his neck as he searches for the words. “I just thought...you’re very pretty, and you’re always really kind when we speak, so...”

“Oh?” Your face heats up at that.

“Yeah, I…think anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“Oh.” Your body’s first instinct is to freeze with nervousness, but you know Charlotte would be kicking your ass in gear right now if she were somehow here. So, you decide to stop stressing about it and just do it. “Well...wouldn’t it be nice if we both had a way to fix our problems at the same time?”

Kun pauses for a moment before replying. “What do you suggest?” He knows what you are proposing—you can see in his eyes and his slight grin and his posture that he knows—but maybe he wants to hear you say it out loud.

“Hm, well…I don’t know, what do you think?” You lean a bit closer to him, raising your eyebrows and trying your best to look innocent and unassuming. His smile turns into something different with your increased proximity. Something a little more sly.

Mirroring your actions, he inches nearer to you until there’s little space left between. “Well, I think…” Kun tentatively closes the remaining gap between the two of you, the rest of his sentence left to linger as his soft lips envelop yours.

Maybe it’s corny to say it, but it definitely feels like one of those fairytale kisses with the fireworks going off and streamers popping; even though you’re sitting on his couch wearing his pajamas, some movie in the background you’ve long forgotten the plot of, empty dinner plates sitting on the coffee table in front of you.

You aren’t sure how you end up in his lap—who made the first move? Was it his hand on your back or your hands on his shoulders? You straddle him on the couch, your arms slipping around his shoulders and his hands on your back but assuredly traveling farther down your body.

Kun’s hands come to rest on your thighs, pulling the fabric of his shorts up a few inches higher. “I never thought I’d see you wearing my clothes,” he says lowly, grinning against your mouth.

“I also never thought I’d be sitting in your lap like this, but maybe sometimes dreams do come true,” you say jokingly, your lips rubbing against his skin as you slowly kiss his jaw.

You can’t see his expression, but his eyebrows shoot up at that. “Dreams, huh? You think about me often?” His voice pitches lower when he asks this, aroused by the thought of you imagining anything quite so lewd about him. You’ve definitely incriminated yourself now and won’t be able to wiggle out of it without an answer.

“...Maybe.”

“What do you think about me?” Kun grips your hips, which quickly turns into him grabbing your ass—tentatively at first to test the waters, and then firmly enough to grind you against his hardening cock. Sensing him solid and warm underneath you sends a shockwave down your spine, and the sensation heightens when his voice caresses your ear, all low and tense with arousal. “It’s just the two of us here. No one else has to know.”

“I think about your...lips. How you might kiss me. Or what you might say to me. And...your hands.” You pause there, a quiet breath whispering past your lips. “You have really big hands, you know.”

“My hands…” Kun places one on your chest, spreading his fingers across and touching your collarbone. The heel of his palm glides on the top of your breast, and just that touch is enough to get you more worked up. “Hmm. Actually, I’ll admit I’m pretty good with my hands.” He smirks, and he’s possibly the finest thing you’ve ever seen. “What else, Y/N?”

“I thought about how you’d touch me.” His hand slides between your breasts now, down your sternum, and to your stomach. “Maybe I’d invite you into my apartment when Charlotte wasn’t there. We’d watch some stupid movie and pretend to be into it, but we’re really just thinking about each other. You’d eventually end up slipping your hand up my skirt...and making me cum all over your fingers.”

You aren’t sure how you’re saying all this to Kun right now, the dude you have a major crush on, without bursting into flames.

His shaft rubbing against your clit even through your layers of clothes makes you sigh dreamily, pressing your forehead to his and gripping at his shoulders and biceps. His bangs are soft against your forehead, and your breath stutters when he moves to kiss the side of your neck. He has to know how hard your heart is beating right now.

“And then what?” His voice is barely a whisper, then.

“And then you’d fuck me, of course.” There’s a slight laugh in your voice at the ticklish feeling of his lips kissing your skin.

“And then I’d fuck you...hm,” he echoes. “Sure, I can do that.”

The promise of it entices you, and more heat pools between your legs, amplified by the fabric rubbing against your sensitive parts. His hand that’s still on your stomach travels under your shirt then, and your hips falter in your rhythm against him when his fingers brush across your nipple. He brings his lips to your other breast, lapping his tongue against your nipple over the fabric.

You soon come like this, his shaft grinding against your clit and his clothes rubbing against your skin, his hands on your ass and his lips traveling across your breasts. The orgasm is sudden and surprises you, but it’s good, and you convulse as the waves of pleasure course through you. You weaken and slump against him, with him still teasing your breasts with his mouth and hands. Pushing your face into his hair, you moan into the black strands until the quivering stops.

You’re breathless when you speak again. “You haven’t come yet.”

“I’d rather do that when I’m inside you,” he replies. You giggle quietly.

“...What are you waiting for, then?”

“Hold on.” Kun carefully maneuvers you off his lap, and you already want to complain at the lack of his touch. “I have to get a condom.”

“Hurry, or you’ll miss all the fun,” you say as you pull your shirt off with your back to him. You look back over your shoulder at him and grin mischievously.

“You’re such a tease…”

Kun goes into his room to fetch a condom, and when he returns he’s already pulling his shirt off, leaving it on the floor somewhere. You’re fully naked now, your legs pulled up to your chest and your chin resting on your knees as you sit on the couch. Kun’s eyes drop between your legs, your inner thighs still glistening from your previous orgasm, and he swipes his tongue across his lips at the sight of you, wet and ready for him.

Likewise, your eyes drop to the dark trail of hair leading into his pants and his bulge just below it, the way his sweatpants cling to his length, and your pussy throbs with the desire to be filled.

“Please, hurry.”

Kun doesn’t waste any time in getting the rest of his clothes off, shoving his pants and underwear done in one swift move and rolling the condom over his shaft. He climbs onto the couch, grabbing your legs and guiding them around his waist, and you giggle at his eager but gentle touch as you recline on the couch pillows behind you.

He grabs his dick and lines it up with you, then pushes it in slowly at first. The stretch makes your toes curl, but it is a good kind of stretch, the kind that fills you to the brim. Like the missing element you needed.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice husky from the pleasure.

“Fuck, please,” is your answer as you shift your hips and try to get him all the way inside quicker. Noticing your urgency, he slides the rest of the way in until your hips are flush against each other and starts thrusting into you. His length dragging across your walls feels much better than you could’ve imagined on any given night, and you clasp your legs tighter around him to get ever closer.

After a point, he pushes your legs up with his hands behind your knees so he can get a deeper angle, and you both moan at the difference in sensation and how much tighter you get around him.

There is no ignoring the messy wet noises of your bodies colliding due to the slickness of your previous orgasm and the new wetness he’s continually fucking out of you. Each thrust reaches deep inside you, deep enough to make you nearly sob, your hands fumbling over your breasts and your clit all the while.

“Kun, god yes please,” you whimper, rocking your hips into the rhythm of his own. You fucking him back makes him groan deeply, his bangs hanging off his forehead as he dips his head to watch himself slide in and out of you. You could not control the urge or the motion of your body even if you wanted to; you want all of him, as close as he can get.

“I don’t want this to end,” he moans, and he pulls out without a warning. You gasp at the sudden emptiness, and your discontent comes out in a full whine. You’d be more embarrassed about it if you weren’t currently consumed with desire, but you presently do not care.

Kun sits back on the couch and pulls you on top of him again. “Ride me,” he says. So you grasp the base of his cock, him grunting as you do, and you press the tip against your entrance before pushing it in. He watches himself slip inside of you while fully enraptured, one hand tight on your hip.

Once you are full with him again, you experimentally grind against him to see how it’ll feel in this new position, and your arms tremble as his pelvis stimulates your clit.

“Go ahead,” he whispers, grasping the nape of your neck and kissing you hard once more, “fuck yourself on me.”

So you keep grinding your clit on him like that, your limbs shaking from the stimulation and your walls fluttering around his cock. You can barely catch a complete breath from him kissing you hard enough to make your lips swell, and your head is so fogged with lust that all you can concentrate on is getting yourself off just like he told you to do.

“Kun…” You roll your head onto his shoulder, pressing your forehead into his skin, your body tiring as you get closer to reaching that high. You’re so close to coming, but you’re not sure if you have enough strength left to get there on your own. Kun notices the state you’re in and grasps your hips to pull them into his, effortlessly sliding himself into you while making sure your clit gets stimulated at the same time.

The new friction of his dick rubbing against your g-spot in this position is enough to have you finally coming and crying out against his neck.

You continue babbling nonsense against his neck as he keeps fucking you, searching for his own end. His hands are hot on your body as he moves you up and down his length.

His climax comes soon after yours, his dick pulsing and his pace slowing. Your back arches at the sensation of him throbbing inside you and releasing his cum into the condom. The way he groans in your ear has your stomach clenching.

For a few minutes after, you both sit quietly and do nothing but cling to one another as you come down from the pleasure.

“So, does this mean we’re together now…?” Kun asks hopefully, running his hands over your back as you lie against him.

You smile against his skin. “Obviously. But if you still want to convince me, we can go a couple more rounds…”

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meltwonu · 4 years ago

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38. “Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

97. “God damn it, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

notes; dom!jeonghan, virgin!reader, corruption kink, dirty talk, fingering, a whisper of dry sex, jeonghan has a bit of a virgin!kink in this one but nothin crazy LMAO, in comparison to mondays drabble this is like goin to church ☠️, but also i’m thinkin abt incubus jeonghan with a corruption kink and the mind goes brrrr but thats for another time hehe 🥰💕 also can I just say, jeonghan doing vlives last night from his bed after I wrote this...☠️ he said jail for even thinking about it LMAO kjfhkh anyway, thank you for requesting! Enjoy!💕

“Ow!”

You pout down at Jeonghan, lips pursed as you wait for him to look up at you.

“Yes?” He mutters under his breath; eyes never leaving the legos splayed out around him on the floor. “I’m working on this right now, baby.”

“I can see that! I literally stepped on a lego ‘cause they’re everywhere!”

He softly chuckles, watching from the corner of his eye as you trapeze your way around the plastic blocks to plop yourself down onto his bed. “Do you really have to do that right now though, ‘Hannie?”

Jeonghan raises his head to watch you on his bed; licking his lips as his eyes travel from your bare legs, up to your thighs, and honing in on the way the hoodie of his that you were wearing slides up and reveals more skin. “I’d like to finish it, baby. Why?”

“No reason, just… wondering.”

It only takes 20 minutes before you’re bored again and Jeonghan focuses so hard on putting his legos together that he doesn’t even entertain any conversation you try to pull him into.

You let out a huff before you’re bouncing off of his bed and out the door; grabbing an ice cream cone from the dorm’s freezer before skipping back to Jeonghan’s room.

“D’you want a bite?” You offer, tossing the crinkly plastic into the wastebin before sitting on the edge of his bed. He looks up at you from the floor, contemplating it before he shakes his head. “I’ll eat some later, I’m almost done.” You huff slightly, biting into the chocolate.

“Your loss, this is the last one!”

He rolls his eyes at you, finding himself watching you when you start to lick at the vanilla ice cream that gets exposed when you eat off the chocolate on the outside. Jeonghan gulps hard, already feeling his cock twitch in his sweats when you let out a soft moan. “Ice cream is so good when it’s cold~” Giggling, you lick your lips clean of the sweet cream.

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

He chuckles darkly, running a hand through his hair as you pause.

“H-huh? I’m just… eating m-my ice cream…” Mumbling, your shy eyes meet Jeonghan’s that glimmer with new found lust and you can’t deny the way your body warms up under his intense stare. The ice cream in your hand quickly starts to melt and drips down your fingers as you gasp and try to lap it all up.

It goes eerily quiet; only the sound of you licking at the ice cream cone bouncing off the walls of Jeonghan’s room and he starts to laugh incredulously at the way you don’t notice the effect you have on him at all.

“Goddamnit, now all I can think about right now is you licking my cock like it’s that ice cream cone.”

“O-oh, um… S--should I s-stop?”

Groaning, he gets up from his place on the floor, hand already outstretched to take the ice cream cone from your hand before tossing it into the wastebin.

“Hey!”

“I’ll get you another one later, just--just…”

“J-Jeonghan?”

He contemplates his options. Jeonghan didn’t want to take things too far knowing that you were still new to the idea of being intimate, but he notices the way you squirm and try to rub your thighs together while he holds onto your sticky hand.

“I can see the way you’re reacting to me, baby. All I said was that I was imagining your cute tongue trying to lick my cock.” He licks his lips, already leaning over you until your back meets his bed sheets. “Are you imagining it too? You probably can’t even take all of me in your pretty mouth if you tried. Fuck, I could teach you how to take all of my cock in your mouth and your pretty ‘lil cunt too.”

“‘Ha--Hannie, p-please… do s-something...” Your hips raise off of the bed, thrusting up into the air at how much his words affect you.

“Oh? Look at you, humping the air like this. I bet you wanna feel my cock against you, huh? Or better yet, inside of you?”

You bite your lip to hold in your noises but you nod feverishly.

Admittedly, you and Jeonghan hadn’t tried much other than some heavy makeout sessions on his bed but there were times you could feel his hard cock pressing up against your ass or your stomach when the two of you were laying in his bed together. And most often than not, you’d go home frustrated and with your panties soaked.

“P-please… d-do something… Anything...”

Your whines have Jeonghan cursing under his breath; the slow movements of your hips driving him crazy when he resists the urge to move against you.

“How’re you feeling, baby?” Muttering, he keeps his focus on the way he can feel how wet you are when you grind against his clothed cock. You can only moan back in return as you furrow your brows and try to focus on the way Jeonghan’s cock feels through the material of your panties and his boxer briefs.

“You--You, ah, feel so b-big… I--I don’t know if, ngh, I--I could t-take you in m-my pussy…” You mewl.

Jeonghan growls; mind going a mile a minute at the thought of him stretching you to take his cock and his grip on your waist tightens just as you start to grind down onto him harder.

“Fuck, next time I’ll show you how to use your mouth. I wanna see your pretty lips stretched around my cock. Maybe I’ll even eat you out at the same time, if you want. Then you can feel my tongue on your cunt too.”

You nod feverishly as you brace your hands on his chest. “Jeonghan, I--c-can you, mmh, use your---your fingers….” Whispering, your teary eyes meet his surprised ones. You feel his cock twitch underneath you as you let out a choked sob. “Please! P--please, I--I need something i-inside…”

Jeonghan gulps as he sits up and he’s quick to maneuver you until you’re sitting on his thighs instead. “Are you sure?”

“Y-yes, ah, hurry!” You squirm and shake your hips, urging him to move faster.

But he moves slowly, fingertips pressing against your wet panties as you moan. He moves them to the side just enough so that he can run his middle and index finger through your folds; a guttural moan on his lips when he feels how wet you are.

“Goddamnit, you’re fucking soaking, baby.” He eats up the way you whine in response and he takes his time coating his fingers in your wetness before you feel his middle finger circling your entrance. “If it hurts, let me know, okay?”

“O-okay…”

“Take a deep breath for me, baby.”

You follow his word, taking a deep, shaky breath as he slowly starts to sink his finger into your tight warmth. He moves slow, hanging on your every sound and every move to make sure you were comfortable before he did anything more.

The feeling is foreign to you, but not completely uncomfortable and there’s a slight stinging sensation but it quickly ebbs away almost as soon as it even started. You bite your lip once his middle finger is knuckle deep and the two of you stay unmoving as you adjust to the feeling of finally having something inside of you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Jeonghan chants under his breath, hand twitching as his shaky pupils zero in on where his finger disappears into your pussy.

“‘H--Hannie…?”

“God, you’re so fucking tight around my finger, how the fuck are you gonna take my cock?” You clench around his digit, soft mewls on your lips.

“A-ah, I thought y-you said you’d t-teach me… I--I wanna f-feel how much, ngh, y-you stretch my p-pussy…”

Jeonghan smirks as he slowly pulls his finger out, only to thrust it back in.

“That’s right. I’m gonna fuck your pretty ‘lil cunt until you fuckin’ crave me and my cock all hours of the day. And you’ll feel me even when I’m not fucking you and eventually your fingers won’t be enough to satisfy you either ‘cause all you’ll think about is how much my cock fills you up.” He pumps his finger into you as you cry out in response. “I’ll get you so drunk off of my cock, you’ll be begging me.”

“Y-you’re su--ah--such a p-pervert, ‘Hannie…” Your cheeks are hot, but you can’t deny the way your abdomen already feels tight with each flick of his wrist. He curls his finger into you just as you let out a choked cry.

“But we know that, don’t we?” Smirking, he can feel how much tighter you get and he quickly takes notice of the way your body tenses above him. He uses his thumb and presses it against your clit; rubbing slow circles on the nub as your lips part in silent cries at the sensations overtaking your body.

“We both know I’m a pervert and we both know all the filthy things I want to do to you, but soon enough, you’ll be like me too. Begging me to do all sorts of filthy things to you that you’ve never dreamed of ‘til you met me. And each time it’ll be filthier and filthier until I have you completely at my mercy.”

“Oh, J--Jeonghan, I--mmh!”

The feeling of his finger thrusting into you and his thumb on your clit is enough to send you into an orgasm; body buzzing and mind hazy as the pleasure washes over you.

Your walls clamp down hard onto his finger and he curls the digit as you ride out your high. “That’s right, baby. Cum on my fingers. Feels good, doesn’t it?” You nod shakily; eyes clamped shut as your entire body twitches in his lap.

Jeonghan feels his cock throbbing, jaw clenched as he watches you. He’d take care of himself later, he tells himself.

“Ngh… Jeonghan…” Whimpering, you slump forward into his chest; the post-orgasmic bliss sating you and warming up your body and you quickly find yourself already craving more of him, just like he’d said.

“’Hannie...?”

“Yes, baby?”

"C-can we try what you mentioned... e-earlier? I--I wanna make you f-feel good too...”

“Of course, baby.”

#jeonghan smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #dom!jeonghan #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt fic #seventeen fic #jeonghan fic #jeonghan

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theglowyscorpio · 3 years ago

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all set | eren x reader

a/n: this is a story in the making, currently available at AO3 and Wattpad. If you like it, please don't hesitate to give me some kudos, leave a comment or maybe follow me on my social media! <3 Any feedback is highly appreciated since I'm just getting started!

pairing: eren yeager x female reader

tags: mature content, alternate universe (modern setting), college/university, recreational drug use, implied sexual content, M/F, F/F, the author is not religious lmao

word count: 4.3k

current chapters: 2/?

playlist: this one was made with a particular playlist in mind. they are really great songs that help to convey this chapter, so I hope you have a time to check them out! :)

a. slomosa - kevin b. upsahl - drugs c. rosenfeld - like u d. kaiba - overdose e. lil kapow - tinman f. bodega - how did this happen!?

***

all set

I lost count of how many parties I went to this week. There was one at Shina, another at... Sasha's. Wait, was it? Or Ymir's? Honestly, both their houses look fairly similar and we always see the same faces over and over again, regardless of where we are getting wasted. Definitely two at my house. The timeline is blurry at this point. If my liver could talk, it would spit out "Screw you, Eren." and I wouldn't be able to disagree.

Classes will start next week so everyone is acting like we're going to stop doing all this for the rest of the semester. That never happens.

I barely enter Reiner's house and the music is already piercing my head. My ears will soon tell me to go screw myself too. The bass was loud. But it was good.

— Hey, finally — Reiner says, giving a hard slap in my back. I can't even get mad at him because he probably didn't mean for it to hurt. Fucking strong bastard.

— Sorry. Lost track of time.

— You know where the things are — he leaves me behind and disappears through the noisy music.

It's hot inside. August has been particularly cruel this year. I'm using a black t-shirt, which is luckily pretty thin, and my black Adidas pants that are somewhat breathable. My hair is in a bun. I will probably be sweating soon, though. Reiner's AC won't do miracles with this amount of people since it is specially packed today. I guess I might see some new faces tonight, huh.

This fact already makes things more interesting.

I walk through the room and then arrive in the kitchen. Connie and Sasha are there.

— Eren!! — I barely open my mouth to talk and Sasha is already giving me whatever weird drink they made. Their drinks sometimes are... unusual, for the lack of a better word. Most of the time they are simply pure shit. They call it scout's fuel, always the same name regardless of what's inside. Maybe that's why my liver hates me so much.

— Thanks — I'm already used to the goddamn gasoline taste — I guess you both want to get us wasted tonight.

— It's our personal mission, so enjoy the fuel — Connie says laughing, raising his plastic cup. I love this duo – who doesn't? – and I can't help but laugh with them, even though it tastes so bad — Everyone is already here, come on — I follow them and find all the familiar faces I've seen all week: Bertholdt, Historia, Ymir, Mikasa, Annie, Armin, Jean, everyone.

The girls look hot, even though I'm used to them. Either way, I avoid hooking up with my friends since the last time didn't work so well. It's better to avoid Mikasa today.

We all sit together while drinking. I light a joint I had already prepared at home and say — Am I crazy or is Reiner's party bigger than usual? —, releasing the smoke a few seconds after. This one is the best grass we could get around our area, I've saved it primarily for today and now I see that might have been a great decision on my part. I'm glancing through the room and looking for some girls, might share this shit with one - or a few - of them later.

— Thank god, I was tired of seeing your ugly faces every fucking time — Jean says. The girls look at him and he rushes to add — I mean, the boys, of course. It's always nice looking at all of you, ladies.

It's not enough to avoid Annie's kick anyway — We can say the same of you, horse face.

Reiner arrives at the perfect time and explains — Since the new semester starts Monday, news about today traveled fast and we got a lot more company than usual.

— Do you know all of them, Reiner? — Historia asks — I've talked to a bunch of them tonight and there are people from all over the campus and from all years as well — Historia always looks pretty, her blonde hair shining even in the low light of the party. Guys make a line to talk to her at all parties so there's no surprise that she's already familiarized with the whole scenario. I wonder what Ymir thinks of it. Probably followed her during this little field trip.

— Hell, no — he grabs the joint of my hand and sucks deeply — I know some of them and some are Bertholdt's friends but there are some random people.

— I bet Reiner knows a lot of the girls — I take my joint back from his fingers — I assume they aren't Bertholdt's friends, though — and grin.

— Hey, I don't see you with any new company either, dude — Bertholdt tries to grab my weed as well, but I avoid his advances. He instead grabs my cup and drinks all of it, leaving me empty. He makes a funny face at the taste. Suit yourself, man, I think to myself, laughing on the inside.

— Yeah, but I'll work on it in a sec — I tease him knowing that he can't handle much of Sasha and Connie's fuel. He always knocks out before everyone. I hope he realizes he needs to stay awake to try anything with Annie. Someday. He simply never gets there.

Hange arrives almost falling over Ymir and spilling her drink on the floor in the process — I think we should all make a toast and make this last party a wild ride!!! — her yelling stabbing us louder than the music.

— Bitch, you are this fucking drunk already? — Ymir says to her, holding Hange's weight on her back — What the hell did the gasoline duo do to you?

— Okay okay, enough with the questions, let me fill your cups because this is the night! — Sasha says, just pouring all that mystery liquid that soon will go straight to our heads — Also, Reiner, where's the food?

We raise our plastic cups and Connie yells — To the new semester! — and we drink, feeling the immediate burn on our throats. It's hard being a scout.

— I need to get laid today — Jean says as he lays his back on the couch — Gonna arrive for the classes pretty motivated next week — he then rests his left arm at the back pillow, behind Mikasa's head.

— You should start roaming, then — her cold delivery puts Jean's subtle attempt at flirting six feet under the ground, as usual. It was pretty damn quick, but I could notice Mikasa glancing at me and then looking the other way. Yeah, I think I need to start roaming soon, too.

— That sounds great, then let's do that!!! — Hange grabs Jean by the arm and they disappear amongst the crowd.

— When all this fun ends, I'll be the one who will probably have to take him home after he gets slapped by some girls — Armin and Jean live with me so we normally go back together. Armin is the responsible one between us, which is not exactly hard considering how Jean and I are — Gonna at least drink some beer before that happens.

— I'll go with you, this drink sucks — Annie says, finishing the drink anyway and following him. We always drink the last drop of it, we never learn.

The girls went dancing, the music was exceptionally good today. A lot of bands I already liked plus some I have never heard before. I need to remember to ask Reiner for this playlist later. Connie was already surrounded by a different group, everyone likes to talk to him. He is popular. The rest dispersed as well and I could hear Hange's screams far away. This is going to be a night for her, indeed.

I start walking around, meeting a lot of people from my classes and others from the campus in general. I talk to all of them and drink a lot in the process, which feeds my need for nicotine every time. I grab my pack of cigarettes and while smoking, I see Levi.

— I must be dreaming — I say, letting the smoke leave my lips with a smile. It reaches him and looks at me with a deadly expression. He is smoking as well, but he only admits one specific brand of cigarettes and hates all the others. Levi usually doesn't show up at these "brat" parties, as he likes to say, since he's a few years older than us. I normally see him at Shina's, which is a popular club slash bar near our university. He's the owner so we all met him there, after going so many times. Shina has the best parties and the best drinks of all the clubs near us. And it couldn't be any other way, since Levi is a perfectionist. There's also a small stage there, where indie bands perform from time to time. My band does some gigs there sometimes.

— Hey — he replies, as cold as ever. He's Mikasa's cousin, so they have the same expressions and hard-to-approach vibe — Already high, I see.

— Always. In fact, today I hope to be higher than usual. What miracle brings you here?

— Some people from the staff decided to come here today so there are fewer brats to piss me off — he drinks what's probably a high priced whiskey and continues — and there's a new girl at the club so we have been showing her the area for a few weeks now.

— There's a lot of new girls here today — although I know Levi doesn't give a crap.

— So? — yeah, he doesn't.

Levi is a pretty successful business owner and even I have to admit that he's hot – is not only common knowledge but a mutual agreement between everyone –, so girls are always trying to get him, but he doesn't screw most of them. He doesn't fuck brats, period. He says he doesn't have the patience. That makes the girls even more desperate. He has the highest standards of every guy I know. When he was still in university – the same we all go –, he screwed not only the hottest girls but also the professors - which went after him and not the other way around. At least that's what I've heard. I think Levi never had to actively look for any girl, to be honest.

I can only laugh at his reply. That's just so him.

— If you want more stuff than what's already in your system, Floch is over there.

— I want, actually. I was going to look for him — I see Floch's red hair among some folks. Floch is usually as busy as Connie but with less than half of the charisma.

He finishes his cigarette, blowing its last white smoke into the air, and we both hear a loud HELL YEAH!! coming from all the other way across the room — Tsk, is that Hange?

— Pfft, it was before, I think it's Sasha now — he doesn't laugh at my reply. He never does. I think hell would freeze while heaven catches on fire.

I think about the music again. It's so good today, what the hell — Hey Levi, don't you think this playlist is too high quality for a Reiner party? I don't get it, his music taste is always pure trash.

— That's from our new girl — he drinks the last drops of his whiskey and starts to leave — You might find her around here — he then suddenly stops and looks at me — Don't get your hopes up, though.

I am not able to ask what he meant by that because he leaves too quickly. Time to look for Floch.

— Hey, Flo-

— Here.

— You didn't even let me finish.

— I know what you want. You are not in the mood for cocaine so you want MD instead, blah-blah-blah-blah. Is that kind of night — he pauses for mere seconds — Am I wrong, Eren?

— Nope, right as usual — Floch is the main person you go to when you need drugs. I mean, good drugs. He looks like your standard rich boy – which he is, by the way – that can do no wrong, but you can get the best stuff from him. I've always found this funny. The weed I have today was his work. He knows my taste well.

Reiner's frat house is huge, so there's plenty of room to walk. I'm approached by a bunch of girls on the way but for some reason, none of them piques my interest. I am pretty set on going after something new today and I have no problem getting laid. It happened every single day this week and it truly happens anytime I want. Which, okay, boosts my ego a little bit. Maybe a lot. I might even have hurt some girls in the process. I was never slapped though, unlike Jean. So that's a win in my book.

I see a few of my friends again, mainly Historia and Reiner, and they are talking to a girl I've never seen before.

She has long black hair and short messy bangs, the kind that goes a little above the eyebrows. I didn't know black hair was my thing until now. Her face has the perfect features, at least for me. She's wearing a sleeveless white top that is so tight that hugs her figure perfectly and makes her breasts look amazing. That type of top that shows the girl's side boob, and I'm a total sucker for those. It is also short so you can see a bit of her waist. And I don't even have to see her ass because I already know it is probably too damn good. Her light blue ripped jeans are cool as well and she has black sneakers. I like her style. She has a bunch of tattoos - a lot on her right arm, one on her left hand, and probably some that I couldn't see because they were behind her clothes. I intended to, though.

Fuck, she's hot.

Historia looks mesmerized talking to her, which is a very privileged view from where I stand because, as I've already said before, she is also beautiful. But she isn't exactly hot. This girl is. Way too much. Oh, and Reiner is there too. Whatever.

I can see a lot of guys want to approach her but none of them do. I went for it. Wasn't this night supposed to be wild?

— Hey, Eren! Guess what, Y/N is the new DJ at Shina! I was telling her how we go there all the time.

— Hi, Eren, nice to meet you — she says, with that kind of smile that people who know they are hot make. I do that too.

— Hey, Y/N — I say. And as I told you seconds before, I'm good with that type of smile as well so that's what she gets — Levi told me he came with the staff and a new girl, so I suppose that's you.

— Yeah, I'll start there next week.

— I talked to him about the party's playlist because I knew it couldn't be Reiner's.

— Yeah, it's Y/N's. She prepared it for the party when I invited the guys from Shina yesterday. We were in the same high school. — Reiner says that looking at me with a face that shows "See that, dickhead? I've known her for some years now".

— It's pretty good! I can't wait for the next party at Shina's to see your set! — Historia was always an angel.

REINER, WHERE'S THE REST OF THE ICE, MAN??, someone screamed far away.

— Shit. Catch up with you later, Y/N.

Too bad, huh, Reiner? He gives me a look that I can't quite figure out what it is, but I know for sure it wasn't a look of support. In the fucking slightest.

— I think Ymir is calling me as well, sorry!! — It was painfully obvious that Ymir wanted to make out with Historia for some time now. They never did. I think only Historia hasn't realized yet that Ymir is thirsty for her for god knows how long.

After Historia left, there was only me and her — So, by any chance, do you go to the same university as us? You look our age but Levi said you are new here — I tried asking this without looking at her body, but looking at her face was even worse. Her eyes were piercing me in the best way possible.

— I'm not exactly new, I'm from the same uni as you guys, but I took a gap year — she takes a sip of her drink — You probably never met me but I'm in the same year as you all are now.

Since Reiner knew her from high school, he also knew she was at the same university all along and never told any of the guys. Smart fucker.

— So that makes you a year older than me — I smirk at her.

— I guess it does — she smirks back as she lights up a cigarette and blows the smoke at me.

Ok, looking good so far.

I'm pretty high at this point, the MD and the music are making me horny, so I don't even bother to pretend that I'm not looking at her body. I'm looking at everything.

— You took something, didn't you?

— Do you want some? I can show you later where to get the best stuff. Anything you are in the mood for.

— I'm all set — she shows me her tongue and I see the acid. The view makes my own tongue feel lonely, maybe I should use it to steal that from her mouth. I hope she's horny as well.

We talk a lot about music since it's something that we both enjoy. She's passionate about it, I can tell. She asks about my band with true interest. Doesn't sound like small talk. She touches her hair and it makes me want to stuff my face in it. She has the smile that makes you want more. Her voice has the same effect.

The loud music allows us to talk near each other's ears. I hope she moans as loud as her playlist. The girls usually love my hair for some reason, either if it's in a messy bun as it is right now or if it's loose. They all love my green eyes too. She can see all that with somewhat detail since we are so close, even though it is a little dark here. If I take you to a room you can see me better, I almost blurb it out. I can see her too and that kills me.

She looks receptive to me but normally at this point I would be already hooking up with the girl. This time it isn't happening. I never have to work so much. I think I understand why the other guys didn't approach her before. She's a little intimidating to talk to, and that comes naturally to her – it doesn't seem to be on purpose. I flirt with her the way I normally do but she is hard to get, she hits every ball I throw. I remember what Levi said before. Oh, right.

But I'm vibing way too much at this point, I think if I touch any part of her I'll get hard immediately.

— This gap year you've mentioned... Did you go anywhere specific?

— I know it will sound cliché, but I went to Europe.

— Where in Europe?

— Everywhere — she says — I went down — the corner of her lips forming a smile — And up. Everywhere. — and I can swear she sounds flirtatious as hell. I want to bite her lip.

— That sounds... Awesome. — I think she wants to bite me too, or at least I hope she does — Was there any particular reason to leave? If that's not too much to ask.

— Hm, I was kinda... — she stops to think for a few seconds as she holds her hair up and makes a ponytail, looking at the ground, the cigarette glued to her now closed lips. Her neck became exposed, it looks soft as hell and I can't wait to bruise it. She releases the smoke, that flows into the room, and looks deep into my eyes, as deep as I want to be inside her right now — ...stressed.

I reach my limit at this point.

— I can help you with the stress if you want.

— Really? — she's looking at me with the same teasing look and I'm doing the same, so we both know that's not a question I have to answer. Her tongue quickly passes through her top lip, her mouth forming a little wet smile — I don't think I need any help though.

I threw the ball and she hit a home run. My team was out.

I was not expecting that.

We hear some of the guys from Shina calling for her — Oh, they are calling me — Y/N looks at me again and says — See you around, Eren — giving me the same fucking grin I wanted to bite before.

She walks away and I see that her ass is, as I suspected from the very beginning, too damn good.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

After this, some time has passed. I look at the clock. Yeah, maybe a lot. I couldn't tell before because I'm drunk and drugged. I see most of my friends, all fucking wasted. Armin is holding up pretty well, Bertholdt's is knocked down for God knows how long, Mikasa probably smoked way too much weed (who am I to judge?) and looks dead on the couch. I don't see Ymir, Historia nor Reiner - there are too many people in this house to keep count. Sasha's eating something in the kitchen, I can't see what it is, but certainly, she got hungrier than normal after smoking some pot Connie gave her. Connie always holds his drinks well, he's still talking to a lot of people. I pass in front of one of the bathrooms and Hange is there, getting everything out of her system. Oh, and Ymir. There she is, holding Hange's hair, looking as pissed as ever. Levi probably went home hours ago. Jean is making out with some chick, he's going to score tonight. To be fair, he always does, but never with Mikasa.

I saw a lot of pretty girls today and I went for none of them. They tried and I shut them down, even the ones I normally fuck. There's someone I want to taste tonight and she's nowhere to be found. The guys from Shina are missing too, so I know I won't see her today anymore. Damn.

I'm not pissed at her but I'm pissed at the situation.

— Armin, I think I'm going to take off, are you coming?

— Yeah, I'm already pretty tired — he gets up — Jean's probably going to stay here.

— Yep. Probably. — Am I pissed that Jean's getting laid? Even though I could have as well? With someone else, at least? My mood feels off.

— I'm going with you too, I've lost count of how many assholes I had to shut down today. I think I even punched a few — I don't have to look to know that's Annie speaking — You were right, Eren, is it especially crowded today. In the shittiest way possible.

— Then let's go.

— Wait, I need to get my bag first, I left it in Reiner's room.

— I can get that for you, wait up.

— It's a black one. Small.

I sign a thumbs up for her and climb the stairs. I am hundred percent sure I'm going to see someone fucking there but that's the usual. I'm pretty sure I've already seen some people screwing in the corner of the living room minutes before. No one cares.

I open the door and see Y/N in her underwear, putting her white top back on. She does indeed have other tattoos.

— Hey there! — she says smiling, as she also puts her jeans back up, making little jumps so they pass through her ass. Her hair is not in a ponytail anymore.

I say hi in a confusing way.

— I came here to get my friend's bag — I look around for milliseconds like I don't know where the hell I am until I see Reiner lying - clearly naked - under his sheets. Can't be anyone else, with that bleached hair and huge biceps.

What? Ahn?

Hey... Wait a second.

Historia? Clearly naked as well? What. The. Hell. I guess she's not exactly the angel I thought she was?

They are sort of awake, sort of sleeping, kinda like on a different planet. You know, the type of thing that happens after a really strong fuck? That sort. They look exhausted. They look destroyed. And not in a bad way. AT ALL.

— Oh, I saw a bag before. Here you go — she gives me Annie's bag. She's all dressed now. She notices my confusion, I'm too high to act any other way — I've told you I don't need any help — her eyes piercing mine for the hundredth time tonight. Her smile hurts now. Ouch.

She grabs her sneakers and walks towards me and the door:

— I'm all set.

She leaves the room as I hold Annie's bag.

Yeah. I was not expecting that.

***

Thanks for reading (if there's even anyone here lmao). Chapter 2 will be uploaded later but it can be read now at AO3 or Wattpad.

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meepmoopfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

you don’t get a win unless you’re playing the game: Daveed Diggs x Reader Chapter 3 Part 2

The whirlwind of the party swept you off of your feet. You were beginning to feel on the drunk side. You met every single one of the OG members, laughing alongside them, dancing along side them. Everything began to blur together. Everyone was pretty drunk and you began to brown out a bit. Your fave dance of the night so far was a tie between your dance with Phillipa and her husband to Bust A Move or you, Oak, Jazz, and Ant’s moment scream-singing No Air in terribly off pitch.

“Y/N, there you ARE!” You looked over to see Michelle dancing, hanging on to Cedric laughingly. Cedric looked please so you smiled flirtatiously at the two of them.

 “My faves!!!!” You were happy to feel a sense of normalcy creep back into this chaotically amazing evening.

“Where the hell have you been?” Cedric asked.

“Nah the real question is where have the two of YOU been?!”

They both laughed. There was a visible hickey on Cedric’s neck, but I don’t think he figured that out quite yet.

“I saw ya over there chatting up Diggs!” Cedric raised his eyebrows.

Diggs. Shit. Where’d he go?

“Speaking of Diggs... where is he?”

Both Michelle and Cedric shrugged.

You began to pace through the large penthouse apartment and saw Rafa laughing with your fellow castmates watching random YouTube videos on the movie room tv.

No Diggs.

You searched the bedrooms. All doors locked with the lights off.

You finally got to the powder room and opened the door. There he was, on the phone.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He mouthed without letting out any sound.

“Sorry sorry sorry” you whispered as you began to shut the door behind you.

He stopped you from shutting the door and waved you in.

“Ya brah, it’s all good. Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure out the next steps. I can’t wait. Bye brotha.”

He hung up the phone.

“Have you heard of knocking?” He said, with a slightly disappointed look on his face.

“My castmates were asking where you were so I thought I’d look for you to make sure you were oka.. to make sure everything was okay.” You stumbled a bit as you shut the door behind you. “Everything okay on the phone?”

“Yeah! Just business stuff. The time difference between here and LA is a bitch sometimes.”

There was a pause as he looked down at the floor and then back up at you.

“Diggs, people probably think we’re doing blow in here or something.” You said as you laughed.

He laughed too as he put his arm around you, both of you facing the ceiling to sink mirror covering the wall. Instantly you felt the tension continuing from earlier. He looked at you like you were one of the most precious things he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Look at us. Fuckin HOMIES. We look so damn good. Kith should sponsor us.”

You giggled as you released your nerves, curling your head onto Daveed’s shoulder without even thinking.

He guided you in front of him and he put his hands on your waist.

Fuck.

He nuzzled his face up against the left side of yours. His hair tickling your neck and his scruff brushing against your cheek.

“You’re hella cute, Y/N.” His voice was dropping deeper and getting a lot tougher.

“Thanks Diggs!” You said innocently back trying not to read into anything.

He turned his head to look at your face. Your eyes were still in the mirror. How the hell was this happening?!? He slowly began planting the sweetest kisses all over your cheek. They felt quite naive. You didn’t think this would go any further. You giggled playfully as he squeezed you into a hug from behind.

That’s when you felt him, up against you, filling out his pants.

Not on the first night. Not on the first night. Not on the first night. You kept repeating to yourself. That’s when the two of you met eyes in the mirror.

“Shit.” You accidentally blurted out.

You turned around to face him. His hands still on your waist. You both stared at each other breathlessly. He still towered over you, even though you were in your suede platform boots.

In a second he picked you up to sit you on the sink carefully, yet forcefully, keeping his left hand on your right hip, bringing his right hand behind your neck.

Then, your lips crashed into one another. Hard. You moaned into his mouth and he reciprocated. He slowly started to intertwine his tongue with yours, stopping every now and again to suck on your neck and nibble your ear. The hand behind his neck guided your head. The kisses were beyond incredible. The only thing slightly off putting were that his lips way larger than yours and his scruff was for sure scratching your sensitive skin on your chin, making it irritated. You could give less of a fuck.

You felt yourself getting so hot and heavy. You were wet. Drunkenly, you reached your right hand to stroke his cock over his jeans.

“Fuck...” he whispered under his breath.

You felt how well endowed he was through his light wash jeans. All you could think was how difficult it would be to fit inside, but you’d do anything for it. For him. You were desperate.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“What in GOD’S name is goin on in there Diggs?! You takin a dump?” You heard the familiarity of Rafa’s high pitched drunken voice through the door. He cracked it open... you forgot to lock it. “HellooooooOoO?!” He said as he pushed the door open.

The two of you parted immediately. You sat there, red in the face, on the sink, specifically scratched up on the chin from Daveed’s scruff, out of breath. Daveed took a step back, looking wide eyed at his friend.

“Oh... Oh!!! FUCK!! I’m so sorry...... Continue!” He shouted and slammed the door.

This jolted you sober. Your heart was visibly pounding in your neck. Diggs started scratching his head, pulling his hair nervously. All you could do was laugh.

“Maybe we should continue this another night? Somewhere a little more comfortable?”

“I’m in, I’m in.” He said looking away.

“Sorry to leave you hanging.” You planted one more slow, sensual kiss into his lips while grabbing the chest of his hoodie. “Who knew Kith would’ve brought us together like this?” It took every last bit of your control to stop yourself from ripping off your matching hoodies.

“You’re tellin me...”

You opened the door to see Rafa and Ant staring at you glaringly.

You looked back at Daveed and looked back at them.

You all erupted into a never ending fit of laughter.

Lin was right. This was your fucking family. You were so ready for this next chapter of your life. Whatever you and Daveed just got yourself into was not a mistake.

—-

You slowly made your rounds and said your goodbyes, ordering your $55 uber (yikes) back up to the heights.

Diggs kissed your hand and waited for your uber to pick you up safely.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s your number? I want you to text me when you get home.”

You smiled as you typed it into his iPhone. You hopped into the uber and smiled like an idiot with the window down the entire 45 mins home.

You reached your apartment, climbed 4 flights up, stumbled in, taking your suede shoes off and putting your sweatpants on. You decided you weren’t gonna take the hoodie off. It smelled like him.

Your phone vibrates.

“Maybe: Diggs” it reads.

You open it.

2:14am “Hey it’s Diggs. Make it home safe?”

2:14am “Just got in. Safe and sound 😊”

2:16am “Good good. I’ll see you on Monday gorgeous”

2:17am “Looking forward to it”

You kept typing and deleting a second message... you decided to shoot your shot.

2:22am “Looking forward to finishing what we started earlier too 😉”

Now the text anxiety settled in.

The last think you remember seeing before passing out was opening Twitter and seeing this:

9:37PM

@linmanuelmiranda “Who wore it better? Bullet or Vice Prez?

*pic of Y/N and Daveed in matching hoodies*

5,323 LIKES 711 RETWEETS

—

Replies:

@HAMILAMI1776

WHAT?! PRECIOUS!!!!!

@PEGGYSTHEBEST12

Vice Prez comes in second, yet again. I’m obsessed with Y/N already.

@HAMILFANACCT

Seriously Y/N is stealing the show here. If ya don’t know, now ya know, Mr. President… HAHA

@MINIMANUALUMBRELLA

Wait a min… SALLY… RUN!!! Lmao

taglist:

@alexander-hamilhoe

#daveed diggs x reader #daveed x reader #fanfic #Daveed smut

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vlogsquadssquad · 4 years ago

Text

Secure 2

summary: Charlie confesses his feelings and reader has to decide if that's what she wants, or if another guy has her *attention*

a/n: i’m honestly BLOWN away at part 1′s feedback. y'all really loved it so Ive been working on this all day, I hope its everything youve been waiting for! thank you to my new followers, ive been writing for a bit for fun and no one was reading my stories but after the reaction for the last story I was so motivated to write. I have A LOT more ideas and even an idea for a part 3 with smut and maybe even reader having to tell the boy she didn't choose the bad news, who knooowwsss. send me in suggestions!

warnings: language, alluding to smut at the end.

mood board:

-- YOUR POV

my life has been the most fun lately. ive been hanging out with David and he really gets me to let loose. he's always trying to top his last video which is so fun to be a part of. even if we wait around the house all day. tonight im alone though. I told him I needed to get some writing down for the last song of my album. I want it to be about being happy with yourself and secure with who you are. that you don't need another person to define who you are. but im having trouble putting that into words that rhyme. maybe I should just see what David is up to.

- daveyy (:

hey, I know I said I was busy but my mind is too cluttered and im curious what the vlog squad is up to 😉 >

< hahaa nothing actually. im by myself at the house tonight. really boring. watching movies ive seen dozens of times.

oh no! your friends realize they were too cool for you? >

< probably lmao. what are you up to?

trying to finish this last song but I can't think straight >

hey would you wanna come over? its ok if you're too busy being alone watching 50 first dates lol >

< how'd you know? 😅 id love to. chipotle?

- end texts -

“hey, loser” I say as he walks in with our food and... is that ice cream? “wait, did you get ice cream?”

“yeah, I got your favorite flavor!” he says with a smile. my heart aches at the kind gesture. “wow your house is so nice” he sets the food on my counter as he glances around.

“thank you, im really into interior design... and nice houses” i joke as i examine the ice cream David got for me. he chuckles as he gets my food out of the bag and sets it up in my living room. I put on a movie to watch but we end up muting it and just talking instead. our conversations just seem to flow. “what's a memory that stands out to you from your childhood?” I ask him. “there's so many things,” he puts his arm around the back of my couch as we sit sideways to face each other. we finished eating forever ago. “probably just all of high school. I learned so much, from my friends and my teachers. nothing academically, obviously.” he laughs. I smile to him and run my fingers through my hair. he watches my movements and for a moment its quiet.

“I think you're really smart.” I say finally. “I love how you push me, you're always there for me, and you just come up with the best ideas. you're so creative.”

“wow. what did I do to deserve your kindness?” he asks with a slight laugh.

“I can think of a few things.” our conversation became much lighter after that. after a while we went into my home studio and he helped me write. the night was filled with jokes and endless laughing but also had serious moments too. I shared very personal details about my life. but the best thing of all was that there was no camera in sight. it was just friends being friends. no clickbait. no underlying purpose for the long stay. it was perfect.

-- next day

“hey y/n could I come over and talk?” Charlie asked over the phone.

“sure, I don't have anything planned till tonight.”

“ok be there in 20.”

“what's the sudden emergency?” I ask as he walks in the door.

“there's just something I've been wanting to confess for a really long time and i’m not sure-”

“its ok Charlie, what is it?”

“I think I'm in love with you.”

my heart dropped. Im frozen in time. I don't need a relationship right now and I sure as hell can't lose my friendship with Charlie.

“I don't know what to say...”

“say you love me too!” he moves closer to me “I know you do! you always want to be around me, have me close to you, we talk all night. I know you feel it.”

I look at him with a blank expression.

“I honestly don't. I've never thought of you that way, and I'm really enjoying being single. for once in my life I'm not letting the pressure of having someone on my arm get to me, I don't need this right now, I-”

“what..? y/n. don't do this.”

“I'm not doing anything it's just the truth.” I look to the ground as his eyes fill with tears. “I think you should go.” I say.

-- DAVIDS POV, that night

- y/n/n 😋

you're still coming to my party tonight right? >

< I wouldn't miss it! so proud of you! ❤️

tonight was my party to celebrate my new show. I haven't told the fans yet but this vlog will be my announcement. we start filming for it on Monday and I've never been more excited. its exactly what I've been dreaming of all my life.

the party started to kick off and all my friends slowly started showing up. Charlie was going to perform his unreleased song tonight and everyone was already talking about it.

“hey have you heard anything from y/n and Charlie? are they dating?” Ilya comes up and whispers to me.

“no man, I haven't heard anything. I was with y/n all night last night and I wasn't exactly begging her to give me details but we did talk for hours about random stuff and she never brought him up or texted anyone. I don't know they might not be.” I say with hope shining through the cracks of my voice.

“I can just ask Charlie?” Ilya offers. he's such a good friend when it matters.

I nod and then head to get something to drink. y/n still wasn't here and I was getting antsy.

just then I hear Natalie let someone in. I peak around the corner and see y/n. she looks drop dead gorgeous. i’ve never seen her dressed up like that. I think she saw right through me and asked if she had something on her face.

“no, no, I just have never seen you dressed like that. you look great.” I look to the floor. no way she and Charlie aren't an item. they both love music and they're both flawless people. they're a match made in heaven.

“well, thank you, cowboy.” she says in a funny southern accent. she was so weird. she came in for a hug and she smelled exactly like when I first met her. I put my hand on the small of her back and for a split second I felt her push more into me.

“so where can I get a drink?” she asked as we pulled apart.

“a drink?” I ask

“yes, i’ve had a bizarre day and I need a drink.”

Im about to ask her what she means when I hear Charlie from behind me

“hey, babe, you're late.” he says to y/n as he pulls her into a hug. she almost looks uncomfortable. “hey Charles, how are you?”

“i’m great, i’ve had several drinks and im thinking much clearly-er now”

“I can smell that” she chuckles

I hand her her favorite drink and ask her if she finished the song. after a short conversation Charlie pulls her to the couch where some other friends are doing karaoke. she's basically sitting on his lap and laughing. I grab my camera and record a little outside trying to not think about it.

-- YOUR POV

I honestly think drunk Charlie has forgotten about our conversation from earlier. which i’m relieved because sometimes I just need good ol Charlie and not this new one that was in love with me. sure he's a little touchy but we were always close like that.

“alright I promised David I would perform an unreleased song tonight. come on I want you to hear it.” he grabs my hand pulls me up. I have a gut feeling I don't want to be here for it.

David set up the mic outside and everyone found a seat. David sat next to me with camera in hand.

“alright alright” Charlie starts. “hopefully I don't forget the lyrics since i’m a little buzzed.” the audience laughed. “but this song means a lot to me, and I wrote it with someone in mind. someone who has changed my life for the better and made me a better man.”

oh god, please don't say my name

“y/n. you are everything to me. I wouldn't be able to be who I am today without you.”

everyone looks to me as the music starts. a love song. i place my head in my hands and David nudges me. “you ok?” he whispers.

“can you please get me out of here?” he nods his head and stands up. Charlie is looking down at his guitar lost in his music. I feel bad leaving but how could he not take no as an answer? I follow David out the door and my head is down in shame. he closes the patio door and turns to me. “what is going on? I thought you guys were dating?”

“oh god, not you too.” I groan. “just please I need to be anywhere but here right now. fast.”

“okay. let’s go.”

we go to his garage and he looks at me.

“you said fast!” he shrugs as he opens the passenger Ferrari door for me. I laugh with my head thrown back “true. but im going to need a jacket or blanket.”

“here, use mine.” he took off his hoodie and handed it to me. I hopped in the car and we were off.

“anywhere in mind?” he asks as we pull out of the neighborhood.

“nope,” I smile. “im kinda hungry though”

“alright,” he turns the car at the light. “then we’re gonna make this worth our while. I know an overly expensive place with great burgers.”

I laugh at him as my hair blows in the wind “yes! lets spend all your money!” I lift my arms and scream. David just laughs at me. we speed down the highways. ive never felt so free.

we finally arrive to the place and get seated.

“so do you wanna tell me why we left my party now?”

“i’m sorry by the way. I didn't mean to drag you from your party but...” I look down and pick at my napkin “Charlie confessed his feelings for me this afternoon.” David looked at me confused.

“isn't that a good thing?” he asked.

“not if I don't feel the same way.” I sigh and David looks surprised. “I was very clear about my feelings- or lack of. but he had been hitting on me all night and then the song. I know he was drunk but im really worried for my friendship with him.”

“I can't believe my ears.” he said almost laughing. “you, y/f/n, don't like the guy who seems like he was sent down from the heavens for you?”

“nope. he just isn't my type I guess, I don't know. I never really thought of him that way and I don't want to.”

“wow, no one will be up to your standards will they?” David laughs as he takes a drink.

“the right guy will be.”

perfect timing. the waitress comes over with our food. we thank her and get eating. he was right. best. burgers. ever!

I moan as I take another bite.

David looks me up and down with his cheeks full of burger and chuckles. “okay, y/n, calm down. it isn't no Charlie puth.”

I gasp and throw a fry at him playfully, laughing. “no... no it is not!” we both laugh harder. as we finish up David pays despite my best efforts and we head to my house so he can drop me off. the car ride was fun, we listened to all the hits and sang our hearts out. we got tons of funny looks, but nothing mattered. I grabbed his vlog camera he threw to the side and recorded him singing and then popped myself into frame and had the camera aimed at both of us. our hair was crazy and the night was wearing down on us but it didn't matter. we were just happy to be alive.

as we pulled into my driveway and David put the car in park, I looked to him. “you wanna walk me to my door?”

“already on it.”

he came around and opened the car door for me and walked me up to my door.

“thank you for tonight. it was like out of a movie. I really needed it.” I was talking softly now since it was the dead of the night and the only thing heard was the crickets.

“anytime, y/n.” David also said softly. he kept looking to my lips which made my heart beat faster every time. I know I said I didn't need a guy, but he just looks too good.

“and congrats on your show, I'm really proud of you.” I step closer.

“thank you, congrats on staying single another night.” he joked but had his hands gently placed on my forearm.

“its still early.” I whisper closer to his face now. I can feel his breath and he can feel mine. my heart is going a million beats a minute and the butterflies in my stomach are in a tornado.

“I can't write a song about you, but I can buy you more expensive burgers.”

I laugh leaning my head on his shoulder. “that's all a girl needs anyways.”

he laughs too but gently. I look up at him and his eyes are locked on mine. he places a hand on my cheek and then lower to my neck. I take a sharp breath in and connect our lips. his lips are soft, sweet, and gentle. I pull my arms up around his neck and deepen the kiss. I feel his hands slide down my back to just above my ass. I move my head to the side and open my mouth gently. he knows what to do and opens his mouth too. I feel his tongue dominate my mouth. he retracts and I close my mouth only to bite his bottom lip and then pull away. I let go and we put our foreheads together breathing heavily.

“I could do that again.” he says.

“wanna come inside?” I whisper, my hands now playing with his hairs at the end of his neck.

“best party ever.” he laughs and I pull him inside. I don't know what im supposed to tell Charlie. the heart wants what it wants?

#David dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik vlogs #David dobrik fanfic #vlog squad #vlog squad fan fiction #David dobrik imagine #vlog squad imagine #Charlie puth #Charlie puth fanfic

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mieczyhale · 4 years ago

Text

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

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gromvillage · 5 years ago

Note

all even numbers. do it coward

oh for fuck’s sake let’s go bois

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

depends on my mood and the situation, i feel like i’ve been a lot quieter lately

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i’d like to think so but i know that’s not completely true, i can be pretty stubborn about ideas i have in a group setting and always kinda take charge in situations

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

people who care about me and respect me, people who are adventurous, literally anyone that can pick me up/is willing to carry me

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

this guy i’m into right now but shouldn’t be cause he’ll probably never be into me lmao

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

ohhh i don’t remember. i feel like recently i haven’t really had any deep conversations with anyone sadly

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

ohhh really into the kids see ghosts album, a bunch of hobo johnson’s stuff, grrrls by aviva (this isn’t five songs but,,,,suck it)

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

not really

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

prolly not

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

don’t remember who my first crush was but i know i don’t talk to them anymore thank you, i had horrible taste when i was younger

20. Do you like your neighbors?

yeah!! most of them are pretty cool and i’m fairly close with them! there are a few that i’m not huge on but that’s life

22. Where would you like to travel?

oh all kinds of places. i want to go to antartica and the himalayas and the andes and the atacama desert and colorado and the sierras and all america’s national parks and tons of places in europe and mongolia and so many other places

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

at the end of the day i like decompressing in my room and i also really love my art classes!

26. What do you do when you wake up?

check my phone (sadly), watch the news for like ten minutes, shower, pack my lunch/make something for breakfast, go to school

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my close friends, though recently i’ve struggled a lot with my thoughts on my relationships with those around me

30. Do you ever want to get married?

it’s not a top priority but i think if i found the right person maybe

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

ohhh boi there are many options.....timothee chalamet, bella heathcote, cara delevingne, russel wilson, harry styles, anothony ramos, tons of mountain athletes

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

i don’t play sports per say but i do a lot of stuff outdoors!! hiking, backpacking, wakeboarding, skiing, that kinda stuff

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

oh hell yeah have you even met me i am constantly liking people and not telling them

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

ummm kind the same answer as 6 but like someone who would be goofy with me and go on adventures and listen to me ramble about random shit and not get mad with me when i struggle with my thoughts

40. What do you want to do after high school?

hopefully go to college out west (fuck the south) and then get a job doing something outdoorsy!!

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i’m either tired, pissed, sad, feeling left out, or a mix of all of em

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

ohhh tough but prolly go with space, there’s so much that we don’t know and also i wanna be weightless

46. What are you paranoid about?

oh lots of things, my parents finding out i’m gay, being abandoned by those close to me, ending up with everyone hating me, good stuff like that

48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope, not into that kinda stuff

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

maroon! i stay wearing that color

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

i think that i’m insecure about a lot of things and internalize that insecurity and let it stew, which is unhealthy and leaves me constantly questioning the world and people around me

54. Favourite store?

really any outdoor store

56. Favourite colour?

pretty partial to red but i also like kind of a forest green

58. Last thing you ate?

seasoned oyster crackers, those dudes slap

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i came in third at our friendsgiving cook-off this past weekend?? i made bacon poptarts and it was cool to place cause i was competing against all adults who are pretty good cooks

62. Been arrested? For what?

negative ghostrider

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

pretty sure it was this dude in like second grade on the playground, which is hella lame

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

the only real tumblr friends i have are people i know in real life so,,,,

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr, though i’ve thought about getting a twitter recently

70. Names of your bestfriends?

wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

72. What colour are your towels?

i have some that are blue and some that are white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one usually, but two if it’s sad boi hour

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

oh i don’t know that i have any?? yeah don’t think i have any

76. What colour is your underwear?

today it’s kinda that boring peach tan color

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

really love chocolate raspberry but i also love pretty much all tillamook ice cream flavors

80. What colour pants?

today they’re a dark khaki

82. Favourite movie?

maybe bill and ted’s excellent adventure?? they’re just out living life and aren’t super stressed about school (other than the part where it’s the whole plot) and also really dig their clothes

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

haven’t seen either

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

crush maybe? he’s just doing his thing and i dig it. also his voice is sick

88. Last person you talked to today?

@perpetualpatchwork!!

90. Name a person you love?

myself, sometimes

92. In a fight with someone?

at the moment no, though my brother and i argued a ton over thanksgiving break

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

ohhh lots probably close to like 10 or 15

96. Favourite actress?

don’t really have a favorite but saoirse ronan is pretty cool

98. Do you tan a lot?

nah, i stay pretty pale throughout the summer though i do get nice freckles!

100. How are you feeling?

tired and stressed at the moment, but aren’t we all

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

oh yeah there are quite a few things

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

there were a couple people i was close to in elementary and middle school i would like to reconnect with

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

only my own

108. What should you be doing?

hella homework and getting ready for my scout meeting

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

there have been a couple times,,,,

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my mom a couple weeks ago

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yep!! i have traveled the country quite a bit and was lucky enough to leave the country for the first time this summer!

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yeah, nirvana’s heart shaped box

118. Do you like Chinese food?

not hugely, i’d really like to try the authentic stuff though!

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

in some cases, mostly when i’m camping

122. Is cheating ever okay?

negative ghostrider

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

how can you love someone you’ve never talked to?

126. Are you currently bored?

somewhat with my life, though there is so much i could do to try and improve it but i just don’t put in the effort and instead just complain

128. Would you change your name?

not really?? i liked to think about other names i wanted as a kid (tori was a particularly embarrassing one) but i’m pretty happy with my name now

130. Do you like subway?

i have to admit yes, it slaps when you’re on a road trip and stop and get a sandwich and then find a park or overlook to eat it at

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

this is the same as number 10???

134. Can you count to one million?

i’m sure i could because i know how numbers work but i don’t think i would ever want to

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed bruh gotta keep the monsters out

138. Curly or Straight hair?

oh it’s so freaking straight it doesn’t hold a curl at all

140. Summer or Winter?

winter, cause i can go skiing and sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate and cuddle up with blankets and wear jackets all the time

142. Favourite month?

big fan of december, though i like most of fall and the beginning of spring

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark or milk, white chocolate is the work of the devil

146. Was today a good day?

ehhh not great, we been out here struggling with a lot of stuff

148. What’s your favourite quote?

i don’t know that i have a favorite but i like “be excellent to each other” from bill and ted’s excellent adventure, “anyone can cook” from ratatouille, and “the idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders” from edward abbey

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the book is my bullet journal and the first thing written on the page is monday from one of my weekly spreads, which isn’t a very exciting first line

#grom village replies #you kids really went off on me for these and i love you for it #i stay talking about myself

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inexchangeforyoursoul · 6 years ago

Text

... apparently, these are becoming a weekly endeavor. (watch me getting an autoblock as soon as I post this) ( AO3 )

tl;dr Hawks is in high spirits (no pun intended), and Rumi’s Intrigued™

Meanwhile, somewhere not too far away, a vaguely annoyed Dabi is sneezing a whole lot, questioning whether his feeble ass is allergic to feathers.

(((I almost chose an angsty ending. Almost. But apparently I cannot do that with series and games that are not depression station in the first place, F.)))

“Say… you are in a reeeeeally good mood today, aren'tcha?” Rumi notes between two obnoxious milkshake slurps next to the remaining morsels of their lunch while taking a full round on the revolving barstool. It’s a Monday, it’s a conference day, a boring conference day where she’s about to kill herself out of sheer boredom… and Hawks, who’s usually also only present in body and ready to passive-aggressively tear the thing down, is radiating a hundred different levels and shades of sunlight. Of course she’s gonna jump on this.

“Huh?” the hero replies, returning to the present; the pen he’s got bouncing between two fingers while reading through the despair-inducingly thick paper pile in front of him (most likely invitations and offers of various kinds) never stops in its fast, metronome-like movement. The little smile that's been plastered over his face all day perks up a little as he looks at her, too. He’s obviously missed the question directed at him, but doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

“I said you are in a good fucking mood, twerp,” his friend repeats with a click of the tongue. Something’s definitely up. “And that you didn't catch it is all the damn proof I need. Haven't seen you this well-adjusted since… ever, actually.” Slurrrp.

“Aaah… guess so,” he muses with the rhythm slowing and a thoughtful expression for a change.

“I had the best fucking sleep ‘since ever’ is all.” The pause preceding this is uncharacteristically long, and his persistent smile returns before he even reaches the conclusion.

“You slept?” chortles Rumi in disbelief, then starts choking as some of the remaining milkshake finds its way to her lungs. The plausible fact that this alone could make him feel alive should not be this funny.

Hawks’ smile widens into a grin and he leans onto an elbow, shoving the documents aside. “Seven hours and thirteen whole-ass minutes, bitch. It's a new record!” It wasn't exactly that much, probably just under seven if he wanted to be honest. But point stands.

Once having regained composure, the heroine lets the information linger for a few seconds. Hmm. Hmmm… “Explains why you are functional and were late for the meeting. What it doesn’t explain is how you, Mr. 10 minutes ahead of everyone’s schedule… early bird extraordinaire… slept in.” That goofy expression is not his usual one, no. There's a snoop to be had, here. After a deep, deep, grin-ridden sigh, she turns back to him, leaning on the counter as well. “Has it got anything to do with dodging, like, all of my invitations lately? Hmm?” She wiggles her brows at him.

Man… she just went there, didn't she. Unfortunately, the persistent smile refuses to cover for him. In fact, it's more incriminating than anything, creeping wider once more. Well then. “Hasn't got as much to do with it as you would like, fam. There's only about… 15% of overlap.” Plus some change.

Maybe more, now that he thinks about it… because the disturbingly domestic (and even worse, occasionally comforting and enjoyable) shenanigans with the League have long outgrown the ‘meeting up with actual S-rank villains in my fake free time because spy lmao’ category. Rumi wouldn't buy that anymore, she's seen enough to know that he's full of shit.

There's a glint of a hunter’s in Rumi’s eyes… a hunter’s that has found fresh track. Her grin turns into a triumphant sneer. “So you do admit to seeing someone.”

The smile on Hawks’ face gains a streak of concern. “Please don't make me think about it in those terms,” he moans, furrowing his brows. “Any of the people I've been dealing with are freaks of nature.”

“So are we,” she notes, not missing a beat.

That earns a similarly fast fling-and-point of a pen in her general direction. “Word.”

She snickers. “Come on…! Tell me about that dreamy 15% that has you so pepped. I'm dying to know~”

He thinks about it for a bit. Then, the feathers of Hawks’ wings rustle, and he himself takes a gander around the restaurant; there's mostly heroes, sidekicks and managers gathered in the building in the first place, who are similarly disinterested in each other's dwindling lunch break times and private lives. While assessing the room, he's silently weighing his options as to how much he can say, and how he should choose his words.

“So… I've been roped into a kind of internship in the past months that I wanted nothing to do with, and am still hella iffy about,” he begins, keeping it just low enough for it to be not overly suspicious.

“Good start!”

“I know, right? Anyway… it's dirty work, but turned out to be tolerable, most of the time. The coworkers are all bonkers, but I've already come to the terrifying conclusion that I'm not all that different.”

“Took you long enough.”

“Hush, I'm telling your story…! Who you might be interested in, I think, is the contact person that keeps a close eye on me even today.”

“OOOH, this is getting spicy~ are they, like, twice your age? You are into older people, after all. Oh, and dude or lady? Other, maybe? You are being really cagey.”

“What did I just say?! Also, I'm not into older people. This peep is up to five years my senior, tops.”

“Never had to listen to yourself when going on about Endeavor, have you!? And see? You just admitted the peeper is older!”

“That’s fan rambling, and ever since I had to work with him, I have held my horses in check, hon. As for the other thing? Honestly, I never asked about their birthday or age, but I've been getting older sib vibes. Could be younger or as old as I am, for all I know. But let me fucking continue. SO… we've been getting along okay lately. Way too well, actually, considering the mutually hostile ~strictly professional~ gig we both started out with. Not that we're not assholes to each other still, but we are… like, frenemies.”

“Strangely mysterious person is already starting to sound like you.”

“…”

“Okay, Pot, okay!! Stop looking all disappointed and tell me about Kettle.”

“… Kettle will be a great stand-in name, thanks for the contribution. You are allowed to acknowledge this with a hum.”

“Mhmm.”

“Excellent. Back on topic… as you know, my yesterday… had been a thing.” For the first time that day, the smile disappears entirely.

Rumi hums again with a nod, which doesn't get shot down. From what Hawks was willing to share about family, it had been obvious that he wasn't on particularly good terms with his parents in the first place, but…

“Long story short, yesterday was also internship day, and I was in a pretty bad mood when we met. Tired, anxious, angry, you name it, I had it. Thankfully there's no news coverage, and I didn't want to bring it up, either… but Kettle… knows me well enough to tell when I’m faking it. And how to push my buttons. The prodding got the best of me, eventually; really, this irritating bitch can get under my skin with an efficiency you can only dream of… but anyway, I was so pissed... like, borderline feral, that even they were surprised. Which, in turn, made me feel like a wreck once I realized what I was doing. So they hammered the last nail into the coffin by putting on their calmest, most civil face, -a rarity, really,- to ask the single, logical question in that situation. And I caved. For a dreadful moment I honest to god thought Kettle would make fun of me, you know. What kind of number two hero has their mother stuck in detox every three months…? Fuck, if not for the bar fight, I wouldn't even know she relapsed two whole years ago already! But, uh… they… seemed to understand. We had a therapy session for peasants at my place, then. Kinda like what we have sometimes. And that's when it really got…” Tongue click. “… heavy.”

Rumi’s ears have been attentive and alert, but hearing this makes them part. She takes a second-long break; there's something that usually helps Hawks sleep a little better. And heart-to-hearts tend to push him over the brink, hell, some nights they do this just so he can get some rest. “… You cried.”

With some delay, he nods. “… I did.”

She lets out a tired sigh. “Managed to weird ‘em out, huh.”

“Actually… it ended up being a half drunk weeping contest for the emotionally constipated,” he muses, eyes staring into a scene from the past, located somewhere past the pen in his right hand. “They opened up a little to me, too. Which was new, but… comforting. I learned that while my mother frequents the station, Kettle’s mom has been hospitalized with a severe case of mental breakdown since they were a teen. They miss her… but cannot visit. They fear that showing their scarred face would make her relive the freak show that resulted in her being sent there in the first place.”

“ … Jesus. Both of you sound like the life of the party when running a hashtag-mood.”

The remark brings back the shadow of his happy smile. “I guess so. But, guess what?”

Hers returns as well; they reached the nice part. “What?”

“I ended up leaning onto Kettle… and them onto me. We hugged it out… and stayed like that for like an hour, the sniffling messes we were. And in the morning… I woke up in the arms of someone, warm and safe… sun shining into the room, little bastard relatives chirping outside. I could even smell fresh coffee being made someplace, coming from the open window. And that… that felt divine.”

Rumi takes a delighted sigh. “The life, bitch. That's… the life.”

“Yeah.”

They lie around like that for a few minutes, sprawled on the counter as the noises of the still busy restaurant creep back into their little bubble before it inevitably pops. Hawks breaks the comfortable silence then. “All in all… I admit that you have been right about me all along.”

Her feet bounce an increasingly impatient rhythm against the metal frame as her mood and blood pressure lift back to normal. “Right about what? You are a felon for not supporting pugs, an abomination for even daring to look at pineapple pizza, and an absolute disgrace for turning down ghost peppers! Be more clear, dammit.”

Hawks tosses the long forgotten pen onto the form pile and leans in closer, hiding his mouth with his hands from view. He breathes it in a whisper so low, only people with superhuman hearing or big ole rabbit ears could catch his voice right now. It’s time to make her day, too. “Rumi, I think… I'm hella gay.”

She reflexively does a little hop on the stool as a very high pitched “Holy shit…!” escapes her mouth, turning some heads. Seeing that it's the two of them up to their usual shenanigans, the few people return to their own worries and discussions.

It takes her inhuman effort not to screech like a hare on the spot; punching the air and gasping for it, she calms down eventually. Having found a semblance of self-restraint, she leans back down in, aggressively whispering to him: “First of all, told you so, and more importantly!! Bitch, you're in love, and didn't tell me?!”

As much as Hawks enjoyed watching her outburst, he finds himself sinking behind his arms now. The incessant grin is back in its full glory and is starting to hurt his cheeks, which have turned very pink in color. An unconvincing “nah” is the only thing he can muster.

Rumi breaks into some light-hearted cackling as she moves over, then gently peels Hawks’ defenses off of him to have a closer look. “Bruuuh…! You are in full rose textured shojo manga mode. That's adorable.”

There’s an attempt at rebuilding said defenses. “Shut it, you overgrown furry.”

She’s unperturbed by the lukewarm defensive taunt. “And you kinda smell like smoke from up close, too~ It’s your first love, right? Aaah, baby boy’s growing up, I’m so happy for you…!” With that, Hawks receives a spine shattering hug.

“Rumimyribs,” is all he can squeak before the gesture does more than just some joint popping. He’s had a near-death experience with these ever since the first time she did that, holy shit.

“Hee hee~ I didn’t forget you’ve got bones made of glass, don’t worry.” She pops back down onto her seat while Hawks gets over the scare. “Sooo... when are you gonna introduce me to your boyfriend?”

“It’s… just a crush, man. He’s… not my boyfriend…” Even thinking about it feels weird… and saying it… really is something else.

She nods. “He doesn’t know it yet! Gotcha.”

Siiigh. “Girl, I can’t just…” STOP, stop… hold the damn phone right there. Ending that sentence would birth more questions to dodge, and he’s not up for brain work at the moment. With a dismissive wave, Hawks restarts the answer. “Anyway, you've seen him already at the very least, so there’s that.” That's all she needs to know- they both know a number of people with fucked-up faces, she won’t admit possibly having missed him, and this… will destroy her.

“… well shit. Now I'll stay up at night wondering who the fuck it might be.”

Bingo. “You’re welcome.”

“Asshole,” she huffs, swatting his hair before settling for a good ruffling. “… say, baby bird.”

“Hm?”

“Want a drink? It's on me. Let's pop one in honor of your heart throb and first crush.”

... uh-oh. “… Rumi.”

“I hope you know this calls for some supreme shit… let me look for a good place nearby, for after this hell is over.”

She's already typing into her phone. Oh no.

“Rumi.” This does not bode well. He has so much shit to do tomorrow. And here’s this pile of junk, most of which he’s yet to have a look at…

“How’s a Zombie sound?”

“RUMI,,,”

#miruko #hawks #bnha miruko #bnha Hawks #dabihawks #even though Dabi's not here #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #Kate writes

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simply-sash · 5 years ago

Text

Honestly I’m still fucked up about the other night. It fucking sucks that you messaged me, and it fucking sucks that you think it’s okay to just pop in whenever you please and expect me to be okay with it.

I don’t necessarily regret the things that I said, but I probably did take it too far and I should have just stopped replying. Subconsciously I was probably trying to hurt you, because the last six months have really fucking hurt me. It hurts when someone you love tells you that they want nothing to do with you and then they get into another relationship, with someone that they were talking to the whole time. Like why let me come out there? Why talk to me like we were going to make this work? I’m just at a point where I can’t jump at your every beck and call anymore. I can’t handle the back and forth, wondering with every text if I’m going to get blocked again. I don’t think you realize how much of a toll that all takes on me and how much it increases my anxiety. Or maybe you do and you just don’t care.

I’m left with so many questions, but what else is new. I don’t know what your intention was behind texting me. Is your relationship just not fulfilling and you needed someone to validate you? Why were you terrified to see me on Thanksgiving? Why did you have someone checking my blog for months? (Btw, hey whoever you are!!) Why did you have them stop checking after I slept with someone else? (They didn’t stop btw)

I don’t know what you want from me honestly. I’m just trying to live my life rather than constantly obsessing over what you are doing. I can’t live my life essentially waiting for you to decide that you want me. That shit is far from healthy, and it makes me so fucking unhappy. Is that what you want? Does it kill you to see me halfway happy without you? It doesn’t matter if I talk to other people or not, I still miss the fuck out of you all the time. I still think about you at least once a day. I still wonder how you’re doing and I force myself not to look. I still text you on occasion hoping I’ll be unblocked. Hell, I got drunk one night and had to keep myself from fucking emailing you, like it’s honestly pathetic. So if that’s the validation you needed, there you go.

You can call me a cunt all you want, but I know that you said it because I hurt you and I’m not going to let that keep replaying in my head anymore. I’m done letting the shit you say consume me.

________________________________________________________________

I’m really looking for to hanging out with Jerrod tonight. We were supposed to on Monday (and Tuesday lmao) but he got called to a job out of town and ended up stuck there for two nights. He told me that he would make it up to me and cook me dinner one of these nights that he’s home, so I’m pretty stoked about that. We’ve been talking and seeing each other for almost a month now and that’s been an adventure. This is the first time I’ve talked to someone that’s a few years older and honestly the difference is fucking astounding. We both agreed that we were going to take things slow, but it’s nice to have someone that’s just so casual about things that make me anxious.

When I was talking to Christian this time last year it played on my anxiety and made me feel like my emotions were too much for him. In fact, he told me that at least once towards the end of things. When I made a comment to Jerrod about my trust issues, he responded by sending me the passcode to his phone and telling me that he doesn’t have anything to hide. I told him I wouldn’t go through his phone, but it was refreshing that he was just so casual about it rather than allowing it to be a turn off.

Sometimes I have to catch myself because I start to get in my head when we don’t see each other for a few days because he isn’t the greatest at texting. I start to convince myself that he’s not interested, but in reality I know that’s not true. In fact a few weeks ago we were hanging out and he got a phone call from his mom and he couldn’t find his phone so he answered it on his watch. After he got off the phone with her he told me that he was hesitant to answer it on his watch because he had told his mom that we were hanging out tonight and she asked if I was the same girl from Thanksgiving and he told her that we’ve actually been hanging out quite a bit and he was nervous that she was going to say something about it on the phone. It’s little things like that that I try to remember when I start to feel anxious about things.

I don’t know what the future holds. I’m just taking this shit one day at a time for once. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be right this second, learning the exact lessons that I am meant to be learning. Things are only going to continue to look up from here, and I know that things will turn out the way that they are supposed to in the end.

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jackmansjoy · 7 years ago

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Tag Game

I was tagged by @freakygirlsworld thanks love❤️

last

1. drink - hazelnut coffee 2. phone call - i think it was my grandma? 3. text message - lmao so it was to one of my middle school teachers and it said “wait what the hell? seriously?” angsty, I know lol 4. song you listened to - Found Tonight by Ben Platt and Lin-Manuel Miranda (seriously so good check it out if you haven’t) 5. time you cried - Monday I think

ever 6. dated someone twice? - Yeaaahhh and it was dumb 7. kissed someone and regretted it - Uh definitely 8. been cheated on - Yeah that sucked too 9. lost someone special - Yeah I for sure have. Several people. 10. been depressed - Yeah that tends to happen when you have clinical depression. Weird concept, I know. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - You know. I’d like to say no. Normally I can handle my alcohol, however I learned that when you chug like 4 different kinds of alcohol within a short amount of time your body doesn’t like that. Yeah learned my lesson there. At least college taught me something amiright?

fave colours 12. Purple 13. Blue 14. Grey

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - Yeah for sure 16. fallen out of love - Oh yeah. 17. laughed until you cried - Several times haha 18. found out someone was talking about you - Bruh I swear two faced bitches are everywhere. So this is a f a t yes. 19. met someone who changed you - Most of the people I have met this year have changed me and my outlook on life in some way. 20. found out who your friends are - This one has been unfortunately all too real. It’s sucked but in the end I’m glad I’m learning who’s really here for me and who’s not. 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Lmao nooo

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Basically all of them except maybe like a handful 23. do you have any pets - Yesss. My baby boi Teddy. He’s a 3 year old teddy bear puppy. So just a wonderful little ball of fluff. He’s my child and I love him with all my heart. 24. do you want to change your name - I used to want to. Because like I used to think the name Ciera was such trash because the only nickname/way to shorten it was C and no one wanted to do that so like. I was biter. But now I’m actually pretty okay with the name. So the only way my name is getting changed is if a miracle happens and I somehow get married. 25. what did you do for your last birthday- My family threw a small pizza party for me at a local bar in our town. Which was rigged because since I’m not at the legal age to consume alcohol they got a round of free drinks since it was my birthday and I sat there drinking a soda. They thought it was the funniest thing in the world. But it was cool having my aunts and uncles and cousins together at a time other than a holiday. So that was legit. 26. what time did you wake up today - Lmao ya’ll coming for me here... like 12pm... I have no defense, I just like sleep. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Pretending to study math while actually learning the lyrics to Hamilton (my current obsession along with tgs and Dear Evan Hansen). 28. what is something you cant wait for - This school year to be over because ya girl is stressed af. But also waiting for my DVD copy of tgs. 30. what are you listening to right now- Right Hand Man from Hamilton 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - I know two people named Tom actually! The first Tom I know is a really good friend of my aunt and uncle and he’s just a happy drunk man. I enjoy him. He’s cool. The other Tom I know was a family friend of a family that I went camping this year. We both had been drinking and this Tom guy and I had a really intense conversation about depression and anxiety around a fire and it was rad. Tom was talking about how it was bullshit that society doesn’t talk about it much and how he just got diagnosed with anxiety and shit. 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Everything lmao. Nah I’m kidding. Um it gets on my nerves when people make fun of someone for loving something. Like don’t give me shit for finding something that makes me happy you piece of shit. i don’t care if you don’t like it or think it’s dumb, i love it so go away. Sorry that got too angsty lmao 33. most visited website - Either Tumblr or YouTube. 34. hair colour - Dark brown (almost black but not quite there) 35. long or short hair - Short hair. Pixie cuts for days bois 36. do you have a crush on someone - Yeah see I don’t really know. maybe? not really? I don’t know. feelings are confusing guys. 37. what do you like about yourself - My eyes. They’re pretty rad. 38. want any piercings? - I used to want to get my lip pierced but I’m less emo now so like probably not. 39. blood type - Lmao I feel like actual trash for not knowing this?? But yeah no clue sorry lol 40. nicknames - I’m lame and my name is stupid so the only thing I got is C. 41. relationship status - Single af. In the odd shot that any of you lovely people wanna change that my inbox is open lmfao I’m so sad ignore that 42. zodiac - Scorpio ;) 43. pronouns - She/her 44. fave tv shows - House MD, NCIS, Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, yeah I’m sure there are a bunch more but I can’t think right now 45. tattoos - I have one but want more. I have one on my collarbone area that says “Inhale the future exhale the past” with some birds 46. right or left handed - Right 47. ever had surgery - No and I’m thankful because the concept of it scares the hell out of me lol 48. piercings - I’ve had my ears pierced like twice but I let the holes close both times. just not my scene 49. sport - My favorite sport to watch is probably football or hockey but my favorite sport to play is softball. 50. vacation - My favorite vacation I’ve ever been on was a cruise to the Bahamas. My dream vacation would be Australia and New Zealand. 51. trainers - Wot? I’m confused lol

more general 52. eating - I don’t eat consistently. Like I’m terrible. I usually only eat once a day? 53. drinking - I drink a lot. like I’m always thirsty af 54. i’m about to watch - Probably The Greatest Showman tbh 55. waiting for - My friends to come online because I’m bored 56. want - To see a Broadway production 57. get married - Eventually I’m hoping to 58. career - Yeah I really don’t know what I want to do with my life right now but I’m leaning towards teaching for a number of reasons.

which is better 59. hugs or kisses - Hugs are you kidding me. They’re the best. 60. lips or eyes - Eyes all the way. 61. shorter or taller - Taller 62. older or younger - Lmao is that even a question? Older. 63. nice arms or stomach - Nice arms for sure. 64. hookup or relationship - Relationship. Don’t come at me with a hookup dude I’m too emotional for that shit. 65. troublemaker or hesitant - Depends on the situation but in all honesty more hesitant

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - Nope 67. drank hard liquor - Lmao.. umm... yeah 68. lost glasses - Yeah and it was terrible because do you know how hard it is to look for something when you’re like blind?? 69. turned someone down - Yeah like once or twice. 70. sex on first date - Nah bro. 71. broken someones heart - Yeah unfortunately 72. had your heart broken - Oh yeah for sure.. 73. been arrested - Nope 74. cried when someone died - Uh yeah of course. 75. fallen for a friend - Lmao dude it’s like my specialty.

do you believe in... 76. yourself - Not really. Not as much as I should. 77. miracles - Maybe. Depends on the situation I guess. 78. love at first sight - Again.. Maybe. 79. santa claus - Lol no. that magic was taken away from me. 80. kiss on a first date- Hey if it feels right who am I to stop it 81. angels - I believe that people who die watch over you but I don’t believe in the things with the wings and harps and stuff. 82. best friend’s name - Talia <3 83. eye colour - Hazel 84. fave movie - I can’t pick one don’t do this.. The Greatest Showman, Logan, The Breakfast Club, The Prestige, and Dead Poet’s Society 85. fave actor - Is this even a question? HUGH JACKMAN. HANDS DOWN. ALL THE WAY. HUGH. MF. JACKMAN.

Lmao sorry this is so long. Oops.

I’m tagging: @three-wishes-not-granted @rewritting-the-stars @no-more-living-in-the-shadows @thegreatestjxckman @teasockschocolate

#tag game #get to know me #ciera does tags

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ilegnangeli · 4 years ago

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Random May Thought #2

I didn’t think I would write another entry for this month. But I just had to share this: I APPRECIATE PEOPLE WHO NOTICED MY ABSENCE FROM SOCIAL MEDIA.

I’m grateful because they knew that something was up. That my silence meant something. That I was gone because I WASN’T MYSELF.

I’m a slave for the Internet. Britney Spears could never. Ever since discovering it when I was idk nine years old, I had always been online. But there was a time last year when I decided to quit the Internet. And it wasn’t until this March of 2021 that I got back. My friend’s dad was like, “What happened to you, Angeli?” This uncle, that I hold so dear to my heart, lost his wife to cancer some time in 2012. And he has been finding solace in social media, posting pictures of her lovely, intelligent daughter whenever they go on dates together. I am a fan of this uncle. Like, he loves his daughter so much. And I’ve only met him a few times while I was still an accountancy major in PUP. This person, someone who I never imagined would notice my absence, NOTICED I WAS GONE. And it warmed my heart.

There were a few people who noticed my absence and one even messaged me to tell me she was glad I was back. Because it has been A WHILE since she last saw me update on social media. This auntie, a friend from Singapore, is a fellow K-Drama fan I met online. She often shares about life and her faith and her family and she’s quite the mother and wife. I wanna be like her someday. She’s just that awesome. We sometimes speak in Chinese so I get to practice my Chinese with her. Thank God Singapore also uses simplified Chinese texts lmao.

These people. This kind of people are the type of humans we need to surround ourselves with. Especially during our darkest times. These people notice us and yet sometimes they are the very people we take for granted.

I am grateful that I have these humans who think of me and worry about me. And who notice a difference in my behavior when I’m going through something. I want to be that kind of person, too. I want to notice and KNOW when people are going through something. I want to be more sensitive to the feelings of others. I don’t want to live my life for myself (though this is easier said than done but dang, I don’t want to live selfishly—there’s a reason why there are seven billion people on this planet, right?). I want to BE THERE when people need me. Because nothing hurts more when people decide they’re done with you and they just, you know, give up on you. I have felt that before and I don’t want to be like that to other people. They don’t deserve that.

This entry is too heavy, isn’t it? So let’s go to the lighter side of my life. I went to check on my Goodreads account today and saw that I’m ranked as Most Followed and as Librarian. It has been a while since I entered the rankings for these categories. It was probably in 2013, back when I had only applied to become Librarian that I got excited to enter the rankings. Not that these rankings matter but it looks cute on your profile lmao. And I’m that easily pleased. Or shallow. Whichever adjective you prefer to describe how easily overjoyed I get over little things like that.

This week I got back to work, it’s only Tuesday, but I feel like it’s been years since I got back to work with no break. But there have been improvements in my productivity. I was able to finally work on the revisions for the procedures we needed for ISO. I’m even looking forward to the event on May 28th, it isn’t a big deal but since I’ll be “hosting” that affair I gotta “prepare” for it.

I want to share something. I don’t think most people from work would agree but I hate speaking engagements. I hate hosting. I hate reading off a script when people are looking at me. I hate people (Omg do not be offended, I love you, okay? Lmao). Or gatherings. Or just being center of attention in general. Or I’m just being severely bipolar that my other personality just wants out when I’m supposed to be “speaking in front of a crowd.” I don’t think being my communication graduate has something to do with my being often asked to host events but damn, if that is the reason why they keep on “hiring” me for these “gigs,” I am utterly disappointed.

I was a newbie in this organization in 2014 when I, and two other new employees, were tasked to lead the flag-raising ceremony. We used to do it during Mondays, I don’t know if I have COVID-19 to thank, but we don’t do that anymore. But having to attend Monday morning flag-raising ceremonies IS NOTHING compared to the lives COVID-19 has claimed the past year so I WOULD VERY MUCH LOVE IT if we could do Monday morning flag-raising ceremonies again—truly would appreciate it—if it meant COVID-19 would just go away, permanently. I don’t mind being there for work earlier than usual if it meant we could just gather like normal human beings again—for once. But anyway, as I was saying, I hosted the flag raising ceremony that eventful Monday and I have been hosting a lot of programs and events in our organization since. DAMN YOU MASS COMMUNICATION. Or maybe damn you self, why do you have such good diction?

I have cable television to blame. I grew up watching Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. None of the members of my family spoke English in our household. Well, tbh, my dad would when he got drunk before lmao. But in normal scenarios, we used Filipino, or sometimes Waray (if not Bisaya) because that’s the first language of my father, elder sister and eldest brother. My mom’s Bisaya but she’s pro at Waray. I remember her telling me she’s forgotten so much Bisaya since marrying my dad. Also, I don’t call my parents mom and dad. I call them by their first names. Okay, stop it, you. Don’t tell me I’m disrespectful. That’s how I show my love to my parents. Lmao. Actually I call them like any normal Filipino kid, I call them “ma” and “pa.” But really, when I’m in the mood, I call them by their first names. They’re never offended by it. I even call some of my friends’ parents by their first names but of course with all due respect. I add the “Mang” + uncle’s first name and “Aling” + auntie’s first name. I can be sweet, you see? That’s why my friends’ parents LOVE ME. Lmao.

Anyway, speaking English isn’t something I am proud of. I’m just more comfortable expressing myself in the language. I would express myself in Korean or Chinese if I knew more words from those languages. Or I would express myself more in Filipino if I were, like, let’s say, comfortable with the language. But I just am not. Sometimes it sucks because my grammar in Filipino sucks. And I struggle in Filipino and I almost always rant at Rizal because he’s such a hypocrite. He’s polyglot, too. He knew more languages than me and he goes on saying that I’m worse than “animals and a smelly fish,” but aren’t fish, animals too? Whatever Rizal. I still like Bonifacio over you.

My God, this is a long post. Isn’t it? And I still have work tomorrow. It’s almost 10pm here. I should be asleep by now. But I just wanted to share the reason why I wrote an entry today. It’s because of my friend, Jo. I’m not going to write the full name of the person. But you know who you are and I appreciate you. Sometimes I wonder what could have happened if I finished accountancy, too. I would have been miserable. But at least I would’ve ended up as a CPA, lmao. But no, I had to be happy. And I am happy as a communication major. I’ve been thinking about graduate school lately and I’ve been thinking about going back to PUP. But I’m still praying about it.

P.S. I’m also praying that I get to consistently update this blog. So that, like my tweets, I have tons of things to go back to when I need a good laugh.

#random thoughts #May 11th #About God's Chaser #2021 #I sorta miss writing long hashtags so here goes one lmao

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thisiswhatiwroteforyou · 4 years ago

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lol

To think the last time I posted about you was in December. And here on the Ides of March I feel compelled to write about you again. These are never for me if we’re being honest. They come from a selfish place in the hopes you come across it and decide to reach out. I know you’re over me, and thats okay. I have been a shitty person to you. So I should miss you, but thats all. I was good at one point yet that part ended and hear I am at the placement I never felt like i could never speak to you about. It’s been a real rough time since you decided to officially end it and I’m not mad about that. It was only a matter of time.All that haunts me is how you always said someone instead of me. I understand the feeling of wanting to be loved, to feel love, and I know the difference when you want the feeling in general of from a specific person. Who knows maybe I drained you so much you wanted it from anyone. All it felt like was that you didn’t want just me.(You may have been getting it somewhere else without trying. At least you got two prospects now but anyway). I can’t seem to get you out my mind. I have been trying, spreading myself so thin just so there is no room for you. I don’t like being the bad guy in your story, it honestly eat away at me( I know you’re gonna say i’m trying to play victim). It’s not something I’m used to. Yet, that doesn’t matter because thats what you need. So I’ll sit here with my L trying to go through this like an adult. I still re read our last convo, we did grow apart and that should be okay, but it’s not. I lay in bed wishing I could go back to when you’d be there. Your body is the only one I want my arms around. Your name is still the only one I want to say coming out my mouth when I’m gonna joke, and your smile is really the only one I care about. You have me fucked up, down bad, simping, and know one knows except me. I’m doing things I never thought I would do because i just want to feel better. Who tf just does affirmations like that. I’m too critical for that lmao. I know theres no perfect, and I still think you’re perfectly imperfect. Maybe I’m only looking back at the good times, and not everything as a whole. We were never going to work. Probably never will, but right now I can’t see myself being with anyone else. I was trying so hard to find someone to fill the void and they never did, I was only able to think of you. I don’t want you to be anyone else’s but thats just selfish and I can’t be selfish with you.Yes, you’ve hurt me too but I deserved it. Maybe I’m full of regret, maybe I wish I tried harder. But honestly, I don’t think I could’ve. So here I am going in circles about 5 months after. I’ve unfollowed you on ig since you did it first. I’m surprised you still have me on snap and you still post on it. I should probably remove you since there is no point. You don’t watch my stories anyway. You have my number but haven’t texted me drunk or sober, which I can’t say I’m surprised about. I should probably stop going on your tumblr too since thats how I know about the two guys. But good for you, maybe now you gotta can confront those negative thoughts about your self worth since others see it in you. Yet it is always easier said than done. It’s funny I wrote this is a “ I’M DOING GREAT” but I’m not. never was, but I know you think differently, if you ever thought about me like that anymore. I wish I could have my clothes back but I could never. I wondered what happened to that forever, because I was cut off quickly, maybe we just have different definitions of it. Either way none of it matters, Just needed to vent again, ya know regular case of the monday’s

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yoonminist · 7 years ago

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💕 crush stories p4 💕

My relationship with my crush is a little complicated lol she's the softes bean ever and has a lot of problems she doesn't wants to talk about and I'm the only one who's there for her but last year everything just went down because i needed a friend to be there for me but she treated me like shit so i turned to another friend and we started dating. While i was in this relationship my crush got a boyfriend (who treats her like shit) After 6 month of dating my gf me and my crush became best friends again and i spent a lot of time with her. I broke up with my gf last week because i had to realise we only dated because we were both lonely. Now I'm back at pining over the smallest cutest girl in the whole world while i have to take care of her or she would probably die dnkdks i actually got her to watch httyd with me as her bf was being an ass and she loved it even tho she usuall hates animation movies lol

you’re right this is complicated lmao so she’s still with her bf ??? even though she’s cute and has her own problems you don’t deserve to be treated like shit so i hope you cleared up whatever that was,,, i suggest you take a little time to enjoy being single before you start thinking about dating this crush now because i’ve seen people date for the sake of not being lonely and it usually isn’t good in the long term but good luck!! and i don’t know how bad her bf is but she should dump him

He's not texting since 3 days ago (our first date)... I think i don't like him any more 💔😭 we've been friends for 5 years...

:’( either he treats you better or you drop him bc you deserve better than that ♡

I think im a little strange, there's a guy that i like(a lot) he is really cool, funny and smart, but i think he is gay. Rather than i'm being sad or something alike, i ship him with his friend, but i still liking him. I'm getting crazy :')

ohhhh does he actually like his friend though or do you just ship them because you think he’s gay ?

aaa, so i've liked this guy for almost 3 months and i did the Thing where i told him (which never happens, because i'm usually way too shy and i tend to want to tamp my feelings back to nothing). that night, we spent hrs walking blocks and blocks and he told me he doesn't like anyone atm, which i understood 100%. after that, it really wasn't bad and we actually hung out at a lookout point for a few more hrs into the morning before he took me home. he's the first person in a while that made me feel so nervous, excited, fluttery, good about myself in a long time. i think (i hope) that i'll be over him soon - at the end of it all, he's still a good friend. the butterflies haven't left yet though - my lil heart won't stop hoping and he's not gonna stop being cute and gosh darn attractive and lovely anytime soon 😫 (ty for letting me rant through this! you're one of my favorite blogs 💝)

THIS IS SO CUTE ahh im glad you went for it!! even though he told you he didn’t like anybody it’s better that you know and don’t spend all this time being hung up on him and wondering about What Ifs so i’m happy for you ♡ he sounds like such a nice friend though so i’m glad you have a person like him in your life and hope that you get over him asap (and thank you !! you’re so sweet 💖)

My crush is an asshole who played push and pull with me for 3 years and recently decided to declare that he likes me, but he's still not sure about us. He said, i quote: 'what if i ask you out and then change my mind' . So we're at square one again😂 he is such an attractive guy, i can't give up on him😭

NO no matter how cute he is you should get rid of him omg what an asshole-ish thing to say,,, trust me even if it’s hard at first you’ll be way happier when you’re over him !! he doesn’t deserve you!!!! ♡

My crush is actually in Korea for the summer (no lie, he's an exchange student at my school). He's so adorable and sweet, but we almost never talk or hang out, and whenever we do I'm always the one to initiate :c Just trying to be optimistic and open about everything rn :s

optimism is good!! hopefully it isn’t because he isn’t interested or already has someone but i guess the best way to find out is always to hint at it or outright ask about his love life ??

Does it count if my crush and I recently married? lol because even though he is my husband not a day goes by that my heart does not flutter with something he does. Wether it be hugging, hand holding or even a smile directed my way, I still get butterflies like crazy. He is the most kind caring and thoughtful person I have had the pleasure of meeting. He is silly and loves laughing. He has the most beautiful eyes and smile I have ever seen. But maybe I'm just being biased lol I love my crush 💜

AWWW CONGRATS ON YOUR MARRIAGE this is so nice ✨✨✨ i love this n hope you’re happy together for As Long As You Both Shall Live

The last time I had an actual full blown crush on someone it was in seventh grade and Jesus Christ let me tell you I was so dramatic over it?? The dude's initials are M.J and I once burst into tears cause I saw the letters on my tv once and we had these letter stickers back then so I put M and J together next to the Pc and whenever someone asked about it I was like it's Michael scofield bc that was back when prison break was ongoing. God I cringe so much now when I look back at it lmaoooo

you burst into tears when you saw his initials fjngjnfjgfn

Okay so my crush is a girl and omfg, she's so pretty?? Her hair falls just above her shoulders and she has brown hair & brown eyes and I take most of my classes with her, but we have the most fun in German, Economics & Managment and Organisation. So she has a lot of... character (idk lol). She is hella stubborn and takes shit from no one but so do I so we banter and insult each other A LOT, but it's always playful so we never feel insulted. But the thing is that i'm a girl too And I didn't even know I liked girls too until I met her lol (so now i'm a closet bi girl). But the thing that gives me hope is that we low key flirt? We send each other snaps stating how much we love each other and always call each other bae/babe etc. I know girl friends do this but it's different I don't even act that way with my best friend and neither is she? And she once confessed to me that she kissed a girl when she was really drunk, but didn't feel anything with it And once we were hanging out with friends, she was drunk and this guy was lying on top of her (a friend who gets real touchy when drunk, but it was all good no harassment of some sorts) she like kept calling me to help, nothing real big. But she also got jealous once when I send a snapchat to her best friend (she was with her @ the time) & she was like why didn't you snap me? So i'm really confused and idk if she likes me too? Sorry for the ramble :(

i relate to this so much lmao i found out i was bi through my first gf too so this all sounds AWFULLY familiar,, i’ll just say if you joke about being in a r/s all the time it’s a sign that you should level it up to a real one but from what you’re telling me i have a good feeling about this!! i hope she really is into you and that you end up dating ❤ (and that you keep me updated whoops)

so im in marching band and there's this one guy in color guard who's really good and the way he can move his body is just like impossible to look away from? and he's really attractive like the other day he was wearing a shirt that had kind of a low neckline and his collarbone was really prominent and i just ahhh??? im not sure if he knows i exist but he's just really attractive help

I LOVE IT I HOPE HE NOTICES YOU AND IT’S LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT

im crushing on this guy for over 3 years. he is a meanie but i like him a lot :') this past week he confessed and said he liked me. but he is not sure if he wants a relationship. we even went out on something like a date :D im very confused rn ahahaha

you need to be clear with this kind of stuff in a r/s so just ask him!! trust your gut though, no matter how much you like him i think that if you don’t think you’ll be happy dating him then just don’t do it :’( ♡

Hey it's the anon that may or may not be gay who has a crush on the girl named Ramona. So.... I think I fucked up. A few friends of mine threw this huge party this weekend and I made sure to tell Ramona so she'd go (I mean goody2shoes at a party come on how cute is that?) So about an hour or 2 into the party she shows up with some friends and I hang around her most of the night, and when I'm not WITH her I made sure I knew where she was. See the part where I messed up is that Im not the best with alcohol... And I drank a bit much. Now I remember kissing Ramona. And that's it. However according to some friends I kissed her she slapped me I pushed her... into the pool and she left crying. Now its Monday and she wont look me in the eye (it's lunch rn and English is next) what do I do?!? I'm an obvious drunk asshole, BUT THATS THE THING! I was DRUNK! I mean I wanna apologize but I can't even get close to her with her friends there

NOOOOO oh my god you really did fuck up ;; can’t you text her asking if you guys can talk ?? tell a friend what happened and hope she’ll understand and let you explain?? honestly i have no idea but i hope you sort it out and let her know how sorry you are but also don’t beat yourself up too much!! accidents happen even if they are bad, it’s ok in the end as long as you apologise,,,,, good luck ♡ and don’t drink around her again ;;

#ask game #these are the last ones i have rn lmao #u can send more if u want !! and bc i love reading them but ill just publish now #unless it's a follow up then u Have To tell me what's going on #also disclaimer i have No idea what im talking abt so u can ignore me kfnjdknfj

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vicariouseyes · 7 years ago

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Massive Ask Meme

I was tagged by @grey-skies-full-moon

Rules: Tag 20 people ((That’s so many... I’ll see what I can do.))

Puttin’ this under a Read More because it’s hella long.

Your last:

1. Drink: A tropical punch-type juice.

2. Phone Call: I had to call my dentist to reschedule an appointment because my car died and I couldn’t get there.

3. Text message: DJ (s/o), I’m pretty sure.

4. Song you listened to: Uh... It might’ve been something from The Last Five Years, which DJ introduced me to. If I’ve listened to anything since then, I don’t remember.

5. Time you cried: Uh... huh. Probably within the last month or two, but I actually don’t remember. That’s a good sign. Gods, it’s nice to be back on my meds again.

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: No. That is not a thing I do.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.

8. Been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of.

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: Enough to be medicated for it.

11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once.

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12. Teal.

13. Gray.

14: Purple.

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends: A couple of acquaintances, but not friends.

16. Fallen out of love: Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: Oh definitely. That happens all the time.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean, friends making references to me and my existence maybe, but not gossip or anything. At least, not that I know of.

19. Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so...?

20. Found out who your friends are: I mean, I’m well aware of who my friends are.

21. Kissed someone on your FB list: I mean, DJ’s on my facebook list, so yeah, lol.

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99% of them. There are two that added me years ago that I just sort of added because fuck it, and we’ve literally never talked, but it’s kind of nice seeing how their lives are doing. I just haven’t had the heart to unfriend them after all this time.

23. Do you have any pets: Not anymore. My parents have a dog, and DJ has a cat, but I don’t have any pets that feel like they’re MY pets, you feel me?

24. Do you want to change your name: I mean... There are two that I would consider for very different reasons, but I’ve gotten so used to my name that switching now would probably be weird.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: DJ and I hung out and got dinner and stuff. My mom also used it as an excuse to have a cookout later in the month, lol.

26. What time did you wake up: I woke up several times last night. If you mean actually stayed awake, probably around 11 or so.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Twitch or sitting on the internet, probably.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The possibility of moving to Chicago.

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: Last... Monday, I believe.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Financial stability/security.

31. What are you listening to right now: DJ’s mom’s cockatiels chirping. Other than that and the ceiling fan in here, there isn’t really any noise. I WAS listening to a Rooster Teeth Podcast not too long ago while folding laundry, but then I moved to a different room, and haven’t put another one on yet.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Feeling frustrated and lost I guess, but that’s actually started to ease up recently as I’ve been slowly figuring things out. I’ve got a long way to go, but it’s kind of nice.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, Twitch. I visit them all pretty equally.

35. Mole/s: Uh... A bunch. Two on my neck, a couple on my chest, several on my arms, maybe one or two on my legs, and one other one.

36. Mark/s: I’ve currently got some scars thanks to Nugget (DJ’s cat), but those’ll probably go away sooner or later, as with any other scars or bruises I’ve ever picked up. The only lasting scar I have is on the bridge of my nose. When I was 5 or so, I tried to feed my uncle’s Very Large Dog, Snowball, a piece of ham. He was very excited about the ham, and I was very small. Wasn’t his fault, and I never blamed him for it. Honestly, I’ve kind of grown to really like that scar. It’s distinctive.

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a horse until I was 5 and found out you couldn’t do that (lmao). I wanted to be a vet after that until I was 11 or 12 and realized I was very squeamish around gore. I wanted to be a zoologist after that all the way up until freshman year of college, after which my goals changed, and are still currently evolving. There was also DEFINITELY a point where I wanted to host my own Animal Planet show, a la Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin.

38. Hair color: It’s currently a light/medium auburn. I tried dyeing purple over it, but it didn’t stick for very long. Naturally, it’s a medium/dark brown with some red in it.

39. Long or short hair: My hair is actually currently the shortest it’s been since 2008, and it’s still a little below shoulder length. I’m used to having very long hair, but my hair is prone to damage and split ends, and tangles, and is also very thin. Getting half of it chopped off has helped immensely. It looks much healthier.

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nah.

41. What do you like about yourself: Hm. I’m kind, thoughtful, generally try to be helpful, tactful, reasonably intelligent, and musically talented.

42. Piercings: None. Not really a fan of them, tbh. I think I’d look good with a monroe or madonna piercing, but it would irritate my gums too much.

43. Blood type: A negative.

44: Nicknames: Sabs is the only one I get even remotely regularly anymore.

45. Relationship status: Happily taken.

46. Zodiac: Cancer / Horse.

47. Pronouns: She/her, I guess. I probably wouldn’t really care about any of them, tbh.

48. Favorite TV show(s): Hm. Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, maybe The Goldbergs, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls... There’s probably more. I’m not even going to include anime, because that list is way longer.

49. Tattoos: I currently have one on my left wrist. I think I’d like to get full sleeves eventually. I’m still planning out some of the designs. Also, you know, tattoos are expensive.

50. Right or left hand: Right.

51. Surgery: I’ve had x-rays, ultrasounds, dental work, but never a surgery. I’d like to keep it that way, but something tells me my dentist is going to harp on me about not getting my wisdom teeth removed.

52. Hair dyed a different color: I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was 11. I guarantee there are some people who’ve never seen my natural hair color.

53. Sports: I am Bad At Those.

54. Vacation: I’ve only ever been on a couple in my life (California to visit my aunt when I was 13, St. Louis in high school for the band/choir trip. Chicago every once in a while to visit friends, but I don’t know if I’d call that a vacation, per se). I’d love to go a TON of places.

55. Shoes: I’ve mostly been wearing flip flops lately, flats if I need to be dressy. But that’s because it’s hot and humid right now. Ohio air is like soup. It’s the worst. I prefer boots of all types, and some tennis shoes/sneakers.

56. Eating: I’m about to go make a leftover taco or two. I want to go get something somewhere, but... financial responsibility. *sigh*

57. Drinking: I had some juice earlier. Will probably have more, or water.

58. I’m about to: Go make those tacos I was talking about.

59. Waiting for: Things to finally start moving in the right direction.

60. Want: To win the lottery. It would fix 90% of my problems. Also, to find out what’s wrong with me, but the doctors’ appointments and lab work should solve that.

61. Get married: I’d like to eventually, but I’m in no particular rush. I got engaged once before, and it ended horrifically. I mean, I’ve certainly got high hopes for this one, but I, again, am in no particular rush.

62. Career: I do some freelance editing currently, but it’s not enough to pay the bills. I’d like to get into full-time editing, web development (which I’m currently learning how to do), or, ideally, being a full-time Twitch streamer would really suit me, but I like streaming just because. I would just like to do it more often.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

65. Shorter or taller: Taller, I guess? It really doesn’t matter to me either way.

66. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter, within reason.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, maybe. Don’t super care about either.

68. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive, I guess.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I’d rather not have to deal with cops, if at all possible.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Once, that I recall.

72. Drank hard liquor: Yup. I don’t drink as much these days, but it’s still fun from time to time.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses all the damn time. Accidentally left them at my parents’ house the last time I was over, so I’m gonna have to go get those back soon.

74. Turned someone down: Yeah.

75. Sex on first date: It has happened.

76. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah.

77. Had your heart broken: Yes.

78. Been arrested: No.

79. Cried when someone died: Very much so, even seven years later.

80. Fallen for a friend: I mean, that’s usually the case. I don’t tend to date people if I’m not already friends with them first.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: That answer changes from day to day. It’s better than it used to be.

82. Miracles: Maybe? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know the exact definition of what constitutes a miracle.

83. Love at first sight: I think people can have Interest at First Sight, or, like, I Think I’m Compatible with This Person Probably at First Sight, but true, actual, lasting love? No. That develops over time and requires work to sustain.

84. Santa Claus: St. Nicholas was absolutely a real person.

85. Kiss on the first date: Again, it has happened.

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: I have several. I know that defeats the purpose of a “best friend,” but I consider most of my close friends family at this point. I suppose I’d have to say DJ, in that case.

87. Eye color: Light grayish-blue. Some days it looks more one color than the other. Depends on what I’m wearing.

88. Favorite movie: Well, the only three movies I’m generally able to watch multiple times (and have) are Scott Pilgrim, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Repo! The Genetic Opera. I’ve also seen all the Harry Potter movies several times. There are a ton of movies I’ve enjoyed, though. I just usually don’t have the attention span to watch them.

tagging: @theifbaby @patillojack @gordona424 @octoberspirit @legendxofxzach Uh...I don’t know if I can think of 15 more. I’ll tag @nwinchester94 too, even though I haven’t heard from her in a long time. :(

#personal things #about me #survey things #etc etc #long post

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