#maybe I can go on Sunday. maybe I should. I've got a little cash I've been saving for emergencies. this is a really small stupid one tbf

[kittlyns]

He changed it out to 2 ugly balls and told me to use dial soap I'm gonna mcfucking kill myself fr

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! It was podcast girls week and i loved seeing everyone’s art and fic and memes. Gorls. ❤️ Let’s get to the shows!

🎤 Childish! Childish: The Podcast Musical finally got the chance to post their finale! And it did not disappoint. I had forgotten exactly how good the music was in this show, and how funny and clever it was. Guys, if you care about college comedies with a side of the best dang music I've heard out of a podcast, please listen to Childish. I'm so happy for them. This is really proof though, that it's worth it not to give up on a podcast (I'll wait for you forever Althaar).

🥩 Oh man, this episode of Mayfair Watcher's Society was incredible. The story would be good even without the incredible performances of Ashlee Jones and Brandon Nguyen, but CAN we talk about them actors??? What an incredible exploration of your worst nightmares coming true. Mind the content warnings for this one, folks. Meg Tuten is, as always, a genius.

🦾 Breathing Space consistently hits notes of working class struggle and desperation with care and thoughtfulness, but this past episode's rendition of "Sixteen Tons" was absolutely gorgeous. I loved the lo-fi singing together. It was perfect.

🐟 @monstrousproductions’ Travelling Light has once again introduced me to an absolutely delightful character. Vermi is my favorite guy. I love him and his fish face and his translation innovation. This show is a constant gift.

🤖 Ohhhhh man, oh man, Ask Your Father ended in the only possible way it could, which I should have seen coming. Oh my gosh. Mikeyyyyyyyy...I won't spoil it, but it was maybe perfect. I cried a little. Season two when.

🌊 I started Waterlogged this week! What a good anthology—it’s creepy AND wet! I think some horror anthologies suffer from a lack of theme that can make them fall into a rhythm, but I don’t foresee this being a problem for Waterlogged. The first three episodes are all so different, and I love it. Go check it out!

🪱 I want to give a shoutout to Earworm! Earworm is an upcoming musical about ghosts and haunting by the folks behind Shadows At the Door! I know a lot of the cast (David Ault, Michelle Kelly, Erika Sanderson, and so many others) and I'm so thrilled to hear this--assuming they can finish out their crowdfund! If you can throw them a little cash, please do!

That’s all for now! 😘

[supercantaloupe]

lying face down on the floor

didn't get my internship. autism swag too strong for the kennedy center i guess i mean why else would i be rejected from three separate internship positions already. they couldn't handle me (<- trying to act cool about losing an opportunity in her dream job/field)

but it does mean i can go to spain this summer. which. i mean. spain is cool. excited to go back. and i love getting to travel and play. even if i do have to pay for the trip (on a scholarship, but still) myself instead of doing a job and getting paid for it.

although it is technically a mission trip with a korean church group's youth orchestra so i have no idea if i'll like. have anyone to hang out with or relate to. idk i guess i'll just bring a book to read while everyone's in bible study or whatever. not like i've had much luck in the past making friends with anyone whilst traveling even when they're my peers...except when i went to italy with my own youth orchestra in high school...i always get along better with other music people but like. idk. i don't see myself getting super buddy buddy with a bunch of kids and i have no idea who there'll be in terms of other adults to associate with either. idk. i'll enjoy the scenery and food at least

i need to look for a new job for the summer now tho. probably retail or food service. which. will probably be soul sucking. but. i need something to do and some way to earn cash. and it's just until the end of august...at least i have the fellowship lined up for next fall thank fucking gd. if i didn't. idk. i'd just melt into a puddle of goo or something

oh and i have to cancel my gig with another local orchestra too. i was supposed to play EH on scheherezade for a concert in june with them but it's during the spain trip so. i feel bad about cancelling on them but at least it's with a month and a half of warning. plus i offered to lend/rent them my instrument cause i don't need it for my trip. that way at least they can have someone cover the part without me and maybe i can make a little bit of money from it...not much tho i don't have the heart to charge a lot

well i went over to see the apartment again and got a few more things sorted out there. i'll be switching to the smallest room rather than the biggest now which is fine cause i don't need a big bedroom and the rent is cheaper and very reasonable for this city. i get extra storage and desk space in the basement too since i have the smallest bedroom. and i'm buying a bunch of furniture from an outgoing tenant including bed desk chair and dresser for relatively cheap too so i don't need to get or move any big pieces like that myself, convenient. i'll probably move in first week of may and boy am i looking forward to it. i want undergrad to be over already i am so tired of being here

oh also dan texted today to tell me he's sick! fucking wonderful! he said he got someone from the conservatory to cover which i think he means for tonight's rehearsal? honestly i don't even care at this point if he's out for the concert tomorrow i or his backup contact will cover the first parts for him but i will go literally fucking insane if he's still out of it by sunday. he says it's just something he ate and he should be fine by tomorrow but You Can Imagine Why I'm Not The Most Confident. i mean fucking hell i haven't even met the second player he got for my trio yet...we're supposed to rehearse tomorrow afternoon for my recital sunday morning. and brother i feel like an e string about to snap

[treefory]

The cat meets someone new

Working through the past

CHAPER 4

Chaper 3 here

Chapter 1 here

Cash wiped his eyes, The music was giving him a headache. He stood at his post next to the bar. There wasn’t a fight tonight so cash got to work upstairs in the club.

He watched drinks being served. Making sure none of them got spiked. He saw people drinking and having fun with each other, something he hadn’t done in a long time.

He leaned up against the wall and pulled out his phone.

11:40pm

Cash put his phone back in his pocket with a small growl. His replacement was meant to be here ten minutes ago.

A tired sigh escaped his maw. Tomorrow was Sunday. The thought of sleeping in tomorrow made him even more tired. But now he had plans on Sundays, buying groceries for two and seeing Shelby.

Cash flinched as he felt someone tap his shoulder. He couldn’t hear them coming, the music was too loud. They wore the same uniform as him.

“Ay, you can go on break now.” They said

“Thanks.” Cash said as he walked off.

He walked around the dance floor. The loud music and flashing lights made his head throb. In the wall behind the DJ booth was a white door. He took the keys he had in his pocket and opened the it.

The bright light of the break room hurt his eyes as he walked in and looked around for a place to sit. Most of the tables had people sitting at them so he sat at the emptiest table he could find. He rested his head in his paws. He shot a glance at who he was sitting with. He was nothing he had ever seen before.

He had a canine-like head with ears shaped like pointy half circles. His fur was a warm brown with a cream colored mouth and Spots covered his face and neck.

But his most notable feature was his hair. Thick red hair sprouted from between his ears and ran down his neck into his shirt

Cash looked at the papers he had in his paws. They were lists of things. Vodka, water, tequila, etc. just a bunch of drinks with costs next to them. All the papers looked like this

The guy wrote in a notebook, seemingly taking notes of everything

What are you? You don’t look like a wolf. Too big to be a fox… what are you doing-

The guy looked up, meeting Cash's gaze.

Shit, was I staring?

Cash quickly looked away, embarrassed. “sorry.” He whispered.

The guy chuckled “it’s okay.” His chuckle was weird. It was a throaty sound that didn’t Match his raspy voice.

His voice… It was so familiar.

“I’m a hyena, if that was what you were wondering.” He continued.

“Oh. I've Never met a hyena before.” Cash mumbled

“Heh, I get that a lot.” He smiled “I’m guessing you're a leopard?”

A leopard, something cash was often mistaken with. It was wrong of course. “No, I’m a jaguar.”

“Ooooo, never met a jaguar before!” He said as he looked at another one of his papers

His voice, where was it from?

Cash fiddled with his paws. Should I ask? He looks busy with all his papers. Meh it wasn’t important anyways.

“Oh! Weren’t you one of the security guards in the basement the other day?”

“Oh, uh yeah.”

“I saw you break up that fight. You're fast!”

Cash’s ear twitched “You were there?”

“Yeah! I was the announcer. Didn’t you hear?”

“Oh that was you?”

“Uh huh! It's probably a one time thing tho…”

“Is That’s not your job?”

“Nah, I’m an accountant.” He said as he held up His papers. “You think they would hire someone just to talk over the speakers?” he asked, not a hint of spite in his voice

“Uh, I don't know.” Cash shrugged, feeling a little stupid

He pulled out his phone and opened a note app.

Lettuce, apples, pork…maybe some fish? Cash thought as he typed. He typed slowly, always correcting his spelling.

His grocery list was coming along well, But his headache wasn't going anywhere. He rubbed his head, letting out a small groan as he did, catching the attention of the hyena.

“You okay?” he asked

Cash rubbed his eyes “yeah, im fine.”

“You don't look fine.” he said as he put down his papers.

Why don’t you mind your business?

“It's just a headache, I'll be fine.” Cash mumbled.

“Oh you should rest then.”

“can't, I have stuff to do.” Cash groned

“Like what?”

“Budget stuff.”

The hyenas yellow eyes lit up “budgeting? I'm good at that! I can do it for you if you want.”

Cash raised an eyebrow “For free?”

“Sure!”

Cash handed the hyena his phone and put his head down in his arms. He watched him as he quickly typed. Cash wasn’t taking his eyes off his phone.

“Why are you doing your work here? Don’t you have like, an office or something?” Cash asked

“Oh yeah I do. But my manager doesn’t want me there. She said I talk too much, so I come to the break room to work and talk with whoever I can find.”

I see where she’s coming from

“Ah, okay.”

“So what’s your budget?”

“Right now, most I can do is 150$”

“For all this? Heh heh, don’t worry I’ll figure something out. A lot of this stuff you can get from a farmers market, that’ll save you some. Hmm, but the meat you can just get from a supermarket.”

“…”

“Oh! I can also price everything and tell you where to get them. So the lettuce is gonna be that and the chicken…” the hyena trailed off into a whisper. “What kind of lettuce do you want?”

“Romaine.”

“Alright… heh, you don’t talk much, do you?”

“…”

The hyena chuckled as he kept typing.

The sound of him typing everything was so calming. Cash’s ears focused on the sound and slowly began to drown out the loud music from outside. He ran his fingers down his arm, they felt soft and warm to the touch. He nestled his face into them. The room slowly became dark as he closed his eyes

“Done!”

Cash jumped as he quickly opened his eyes. “Huh?”

The hyena laughed, flashing his huge teeth in a toothy grin. “I’m done budgeting your groceries for you.” He handed him back his phone

Ugh, Did I fall asleep? In public?

Cash took back his phone and patted his pockets, making sure no one had taken his wallet or keys. Thankfully, everything was still there.

Cash felt his eyes widen as he scrolled through his notes.

Wow. Everything is priced and labeled. Damn, he even said where to get the stuff and what brand.

“So after you get everything your total should be around 90$ - 120$. It varies depending on the weight of some items but it should all fit within your budget.”

“Huh, I didn’t expect you to go into so much detail, thank you.”

Cash glanced at the time. It was 12:00 am

“Oh, my break is over.” Cash said as he stood.

“Thank you uhhh… what’s your name?”

“Hena!”

Cash cocked his head “Hena the hyena?”

“Yeah…” Hena sighed. “Obviously I didn’t choose it.”

“I’m Cash.”

“It was nice meeting you, Cash!”

“You too!” Cash gave Hena a gentle wave as he walked out the room.

Cash wiped away the small smile he had on his face, not wanting anyone to see it.

He stood back at his post. His headache wasn’t gone, but he was feeling a bit better. The thought of having his grocery list planned out was nice.

He folded his arms as he leaned up against the wall.

Hena… talks too much. Nice guy though.

———

[bakurapika]

garage saling today was a little meh for the most part. a ton of sales but i didn't buy much... like the k/d ratio was off

im thinking maybe the earlier sales in may were the people hoarding stuff and planning out sales for a while? so maybe not indicative of future performance?

also because of rain saturday, a bunch of sales sprang up on sunday/today. multi-family sales sound great but that sometimes means that you get maybe 2 actual garage sales, then 5 "we got a few dozen things on the lawn and don't care much if we sell it or not"

anyway! another weird thing i've noticed lately. the things that people give away and the things they sell for inflated prices (on craigslist, facebook marketplace, etc) tend to be ... the same things. so it's blind luck if the thing you want will be free or $50 cash must pick up today.

the first garage sale i went to, i looked at some stuff, saw a blender for $4, looked closer but was kinda meh. and the lady went, oh you can just have that. we just want to get rid of everything. (obv i thanked her etc) as I was leaving, i heard her tell someone that she's going to pounce to offer for free if anyone even touches something lol

let's see i got a pretty nice desk for free on the curb. and i really needed some scrap wood and i just got that right near my house! although it's particle/refab board so i need to figure out how to saw off some chipped areas and seal it against water

i got a dresser by commenting how i love it but it wouldn't fit in my car, and the seller jokingly said they could deliver, in that "i'm only joking if you are" way. it was $20 and they were on the fence. i said i would pay $30 if they could deliver and they said yes. i should have gotten a phone number to communicate with them lol oops. of course i know where they live but still

i got a heat gun for crafts for only $1.

otherwise, not much to show for the morning. may try to slow my horses for sales over the next few weeks instead of dedicating all saturday morning to them lol

[malamelodies]

Hello Precious

oh sweetheart,

what a weird whirlwind this life has been. I am presently in San Diego, finding myself constantly looking around thinking, how the fuck did I get here? what lead me to this moment, and I have moments where I;m fucking scared I won't be able to leave. that I will somehow be stuck here for a time too long. that in my 'prime' I'm actually wasting away my life.

I had this thought today: the two times I had the most money I've ever had: I was with Jedidiah, and I immediately spent it all. I spent it all. and the moments it was spent on was beautiful, but it was fleeting. I didn't invest. I understand that I was leaning into it. over 100% and the way I thought I was never going to get over greg... and I haven't in ways... I'm terrified that Jedidiah has cost me my ability to love whole heartedly.

Yes ross should have been a rebound... but I really really loved the way we spoke to each other. and when it was good, it was really really sweet. I loved laying in bed with him and just laughing. and enjoying each other.

I just know that I want monetary abundance. a family and to be in a place that is close to the ocean and its a place that I love absolutely love. in all aspects and beyond.

right now I'm waking up looking around asking how I got here in a bewildered and sad state. I'm excited to wake up and look around and think 'holy fuck how did I get here?!' with such excitement and love and appreciation.

now in the mean time, how do I gain that perspective where I'm at?

I think the first thing is routine. physical routine.

I need to not think about what has happened in the past or the future for the matter and just be here. in this moment. if font of public square. finding my flow. what can my flow be.

Monday: therapy, bike, yoga (work trade)

Tuesday: run with Moki. Gym.

Wednesday: Bike ride with Moki. Gym. Work at coffee house.

Thursday: Mom/swim. Open Gym Aerial. Yoga. (dance?)

Friday: Morning run with Moki. work (dance?)

Saturday: Work (maybe bring bike?)

Sunday: If I'm working in the evening, I think it would be really nice to go to the farmers market.

and then there is community outreach as well as finding another job that is easy is cash flow. I would like to find a restaurant and honestly, any that are in this area could be pretty sweet. Maybe look around in La Mesa or Lemon Grove or Normal Heights. Something a little more funky. I fell into Coasterra thinking that the view would ensure things. and it did. but being in kitchen. meh. and this is where I need to stop and listen. Universe. How do you want me to show up in this world at this time? Give me guidance to how I can best serve you.

Its funny... on the way over to wherever I was going to write this, I was thinking that I was going to write about what has happened the last 2... no 3 years of my life.

Starting April 19, 2020. I'm pretty sure I left for Maui sometime in May. and up until that moment. I remember being with Cary and thinking 'fuck this is the end of a chapter and its fucking beautiful'. but I was also craving to be on island. it was calling to me SO LOUDLY. then the money that was given to me through the government. and how active we were. there was literally nothing else we could do but work out. and garden. and be naked and spend more time with the environment around us.

and now. here. let it be a challenge. I know there are awesome people out here. I see it. I see moments of it. and I also see how my eyes get wider looking at different non profits.

I fucking hate jamul. my god. its so dry and hot and rattle snakes are real. I don't want them around. I don't like them.

so things for future online therapy of Tumblr.... 1. saga of 2020 to present.

2. find that job. maybe Carter, just maybe, you were brought here for a reason. and rather than trying to rush out or itch at the discomfort. remember that this is a beautiful place and there is hope to find that thriving community and purpose that I look for anywhere and everywhere I go.

I don't know if it's because things are more spaced out here, but I just want to ground into one neighborhood and really lean into it.

not to mention today is eclipse day. how to womynifest the things I desire and adore. and the kind ways of genuine connection with all types of people is something that I love. people do seem a little more normal and interesting. maybe la mesa is the starting point of normalcy. I fucking hate jamul. its so silly. more so I dont hate jamul, because actually going inland with all the feed places; I'm actually wondering how I missed out. there is a whole journey of farm life, and I was just far enough away.

I literally get disgusted when I think about how my parents live. EVERY TIME I eat with my parents, or more so, my parents food; I get sick. I genuinely get sick. I feel weird in my tummy and it just isn't fun.

so, baby girl. lets take it one step at a time. literally now and into the evening.

play by play.. because I find that my mind gets a little too whirly so lets write it down. even when I had a moment last night right before bed and I thought 'oh yeah I didn't do those things I thought about' and I didn't do those things because I'm not writing it down. they need to be written down in order for the tiniest chance they will be remembered and executed.

so now, as we wrap up this journal reflection, I would like to take out the envelopes and see what I need to schedule.

lets actually take a moment and do it right meow.

breast exam: presently on hold for

Dermatology: on the 24th I think it's at 1?

I need blood test, which I'm not seeing so I will need to drive down there (maybe tomorrow) (or Friday) to sign papers. so fucking stupid.

I think the best thing is to call them tomorrow.

then I'm going to go pee and put away my things and kindly walk up and down this street. maybe change, actually. and do I want to go down to kava? I think it could be fun. then come home. love up and have some bone broth and hangs out with parents for a moment.

THEN. upstairs music. candle. intention. <3

okay I like this.

[indigo474]

21623-

Today was the first day i didn't feel like i was drowning. My work days/weeks are starting to have a rhythm to them. Maybe there is hope- there is always hope. I've been filled with self doubt the past few weeks- no fun. I try my best to be gentle with myself. One thing i do know for sure and i tell myself is that these feelings will pass. they always do and i always feel better again. let them come let them go...get out of your head April..also give yourself time. My team is coming along nicely. I'm getting the results I want out of them. I don't care for one of the new people on my team. I can't let it show. there are a few reasons she gets under my skin but a big one is her inability to look me in the eye. Not all the time-just when she's lying to me.

i want to send my mom a copy of my promotion letter. the little girl in me wants my mom to be proud of me. I haven't sent it yet because i don't trust her. Im scared she will send it to X. I don't trust my own mom. She wanted to me come over on Sunday. I don't want to. It's my only day off and i don't want to spend it with her- plus its a long drive and my car is in need of repair. she texted me while i was watching the super bowl. she asked me to call her. the old me- the april who thought if just tried harder or did what she wanted me to she would love me would have called her. I would have not watched the super bowl and called her and then would have regretted not doing what i wanted to do. I didn't call her. I explained i was watching tv and enjoying it and i would call her at a later time. When i did call her the next day she sent the call straight to voicemail. she doesnt like it when i have boundaries. she will never see my place because she refuses to call before coming over. it was the same at Chatham- she stopped coming over when i told her i needed her to call before and not just show up. it is what it is- but the child in me still wants her to be proud of me. i am proud of me.

Mads is still vegan. I'm proud of her. 16 weeks until graduation. I can hardly believe it. it's been almost a year since she has spoken to her father. a year ago she didn't want to live-today she is excited about cauliflower.

i saw Kika tonight. she was ok. i wish i could bring her home and love on her. I benched 87x5 today- it almost seemed easy- almost- that last one was hard. i'm not sure if i should keep going 2x a week. i like it- i worry about money. i'm currently having cash issues because of switching banks. i have to do more banking tomorrow - i haven't food shopped and i haven't done laundry. i went and got waxed last night which throws off my whole week. Its going to rain tomorrow and im going to go for run.

I am proud of myself- i know i can do this supervisor thing. I have a girl on my team who has some issues- a few write ups-never on time. i'm her 3rd supervisor- we are working on her being on time- she told me she can't because it's too hard and this is how she is and on and on. she kept saying it's just tooo hard- i finally said to her i know you can do hard things. she looked and me and said your right i can. she hasn't been late since. it's only been 2 weeks or so but she hasn't been late and she is making all her punches. promising- we shall see what happens.

April,

I am proud of you! You are doing a great job. i love you.

[nixotinix]

Hello, I came from a convention info post you made

I'm not sure if you'd know, but do you have any idea on how one would be able to sell things at the Artist's Alley? I'm a minor so I'm not sure if I can or not and I haven't found anything helpful

Artist Alley! Now I've never sold anything in artist alley, but I feel like I know a decent amount, so I'll fill you in!

So first, you have to have some kind of portfolio. Something that would show what products you'd sell and the quality of your work. It's best to have a variety of products; things like prints and artbooks for the big spenders, and things like keychains or buttons for the quick and easy spenders. This will draw more people to your table. And try to include both fanart and original work. A 50/50 split is usually looked on kindly.

Once you have your portfolio, you'll need to submit it to the convention runners. Most cons will have a website you can apply through. It's best to apply 3-6 months in advance. Now, depending on the con, the way its determined who gets in and who doesn't is different. The two I've seen most often are first come and jury system. First come, first serve is self explanatory. The first people to apply get in. The jury system is a bit more complicated. Your portfolio will be reviewed by a few people who decide whether they want you at the con. Oh and there isn't usually an age limit, both adults and minors can sell at artist alley. Though, if you are a minor, it's best to bring an adult with you.

Either way, once you're in, you'll need to pay some kind of fee to cover table costs. Depending on the popularity and attendance of the con, these can get pretty expensive. Almost all of these will come with one or maybe two weekend badges for the convention as well. The con I usually go to is $200 for a table and 2 badges.

Then you'll have to work on making your products and display. There's a bunch of videos on how much to make and how to set it up, so feel free to check them out! It's best to figure out how big the table is and practice your display at home.

So! You've prepared everything, you got into the con, and now it's con weekend. It's highly recommended that you bring a good few items: a portable phone charger, a device to read credit cards, snacks and drinks, some little circle stickers (for prices and in case anything sells out), and a cash box that LOCKS. Make sure to keep your cash box out of sight and out of arms reach. Attendees should never know where your cash is stored. In addition, try to keep a notebook where you can keep track of stock so you know exactly how much of what item you sold over the weekend, and so you know when something is running low.

When it comes to interacting with attendees, just be nice! If you see a cosplayer from a show you like, talk to them and maybe direct them to any merch you have of that character! If someone comes up and talks to you about some fandom you like, feel free to engage in the conversation! Just try not to push sales too much, and try not to ignore anyone who wants to buy something from you.

And when it comes to pricing your merch, don't undercut or overprice yourself. Undercutting your work not only hurts you, since you aren't making enough money as you should, and it hurts the artists around you by making their products seem expensive when they're fairly priced. And overpricing can discourage people from checking out your table.

On Sunday, most artists will have a flash sale, where almost if not all of their stock is on sale to try to sell more. Feel free to do this! Just don't undercut yourself too much.

So the con is over and you're back home. Make sure to count up your cash and calculate the net profit. Your net profit will be: your money made, minus travel costs, table costs, hotel costs, and merchandise costs. Basically, the amount of money you made at the con minus how much it took to make the con happen. Try to at least break even.

I think that's about it! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer as best I can in replies! Tysm for your ask anon <3

[babymilkawa]

random boyfriend headcanons no. 2 with:

bakugou katsuki

gn!reader :)

no. 1

Bakugou rubs his head on ur neck because ur warm and he wants you to pet his hair

sometimes if you’re chilling and sitting face to face, he’ll ✨softly✨ slam his forehead with yours and u guys have a glaring contest

u lose obviously

but he’s there for that cute scrunch u do that’s meant to be intimidating

if he wants you to pet his hair he’ll even nudge your shoulder with his head so you can get the frigging hint 😤

at this point I should just do cat!bakugou hcs amiright

and whenever you yawn, he’ll put his finger in between your teeth and maybe get a little excited when you bite them 👀

bakugou loves anything squishy

and if it’s part of you? even better

he’ll just rub his face on them

give them vacuum kisses

by now, he’s used to the fact that your mere presence can have his heart doing jumping jacks

he’s given up on trying to deny it

that doesn’t mean that he won’t do the same to you

man will find ANYTHing to get you flustered or annoyed

not straight up pissed tho, that’s somewhere he doesn’t wanna go

if he does manage to piss you off, unintentionally, his lower lip will droop down to his feet I swear

if you’re passing by each other at the hallway, he’ll just whoop, pick you up by the waist, turn you so that you’re going the same direction as he is and drag you to wherever he’s going

your body is like this straight stick when he does that it’s hilarious

whichever hand you write with, he’ll sit on that side of you and go nudge

your pencil, flying across the page

he gives you forehead flicks period

just a “dumbass” flick

if you do that to him, he’ll scoff like he can’t even feel it but when he thinks you’re not looking, frantically rubs that spot on his forehead LmaO

dammit why do they flick so hard

on lazy Sunday mornings, he’ll cling on to you unless he’s got work to do

if he has to get up before you, he’ll just sit at your desk and watch you

asks you to go the hell back to sleep if you wake up early on a relax day

he’s soft during the night ok

will look at you straight in the face in the dim glow of your lamp and just caress your cheek

he has so much to say but he doesn’t know where to start

he wants to tell you that looking into your eyes makes him fall deeper into his love pit

he wants to tell you that kissing you feels like he’s tasting heaven

that holding and touching you makes him want to put a ring on that finger

he wants to keep you, he wants it all

but he’s bad with words and doesn’t want to mess anything up

instead he speaks with his eyes and his actions

you seem understand exactly what he’s feeling and you feel the same way too

except you tell him exactly that

that you can’t believe he’s yours, that you don’t want to imagine a life without him 

the emotion swimming in his eyes don’t change but his thumb stroking your cheek, falters, clearly flustered from your words

presses his forehead to yours and nudges your nose with his

your limbs are tangled together and bakugou’s heart is just at its limit when you plant the softest kiss on his lips

it bursts

you can practically see red hearts bouncing off his body and flying around your room

pulling you back to his lips, he tries to cover the heat in his cheeks but you can feel them against your own

yikes did not mean for this to be a Drabble for how much he loves you 

anywaysss, bakugou sneaks money into your wallet huehue

if you’re going out with friends, he’ll put some extra cash in there, or slip in a small plastic water bottle

he also carries your bag for you, no buts

I don’t understand why some men are uncomfortable with this

if you’ve been out for a while and you’re feet are tired, he’ll offer a piggy back ride

but only cos “u won’t stop whining abt ur feet”

will complain about you being heavy, receiving a wack on his head

but he’ll also massage your cute ass feet when you’re home

maybe even kiss your toes a little

when you’re eating together, he’ll fill up your plate first with the food u like

maybe stuff it a little too full to hear you complain and pass it back to him

..only for him to sneak it in there when ur not looking

whenever you start reading/watching sthing he’s already seen/read, he’ll PRETEND to spoil sthing for you

like he’ll say that a specific character died or sthing but they didn’t and u, thinking that he’s telling the truth, start ur stages of grief and he’s like “tch just watch, brat”

so you’re mentally preparing yourself for the death of that character and you’re complaining abt getting attached to them but once you finish it, it never happens

“HAAa??” you look at him instantly and he’s there snickering his ass off

he’ll never really spoil it tho, he just loves to see your reaction

at this point, just don’t tell him you’ve started sthing

even then he’ll find out, I mean he won't purposely snoop around, it’s just cos u suck at hiding things babe

n ur trying to cover his mouth with ur hands before he can utter a single word

he wants you to tuck him to sleep

but it doesn’t happen very often because a. he won’t verbally say he wants it and b. it only happens when you’re not sleeping together bc he’ll just pull you into his arms if u do 

but he almost never does it to you unless you need sleep more than he does or you won’t stop your whining

he just looves to have ur face be the last thing he sees and to have ur comforting hands tuck the blanket all snug around him

and oh my god the finishing touch is having you kiss his forehead

man goes over the moooon

will take candid pics of u

like he’ll grumble if you pull him in for a selfie but he’ll be that person who shows the corner of his face and you behind him lolol

you’re not looking at the camera in any of them but he still thinks u look stunning

ur side pROFILE UGH

has that photo widget for iPhones where you can put a picture on ur home screen and it changes every day

yea he does that

with his album for photos of u

yk sometimes bakugou just randomly slumps on you

like you could be standing and on ur phone answering a text rq when he just puts almost all his weight on you, almost

obviously enough to startle you but not enough for the both of you to fall

then ur forced to wrap ur arms around him and he can snuggle in ur neck mmm

a/n: wow I've had this in my drafts for a while and I’ve just been adding on to it lolol

bnha masterlist

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

[jinxthequeergirl]

Teenage Rebellion's

Steve Harrington x Hopper! Reader

(Mainly a little more of a father daughter reader)

Requested by @melxoxo23 : " A story, where you're hoppers daughter and dating steve.with angst maybe?, but with a happy ending and include joyce too! Please and thank youuuu!"

Warning: swearing/ angst/ a small fight between pops and daughter

Hope you like it?!

~~~~~~~

You crawled through Steve's window instantly catching his attention. "What are you doing here?"

"What aren't you happy to see me, harrington?" you asked a but offended by his greeting as you shut the window.

"Yes I'm just...surprised." He got up from his spot on the bed and quickly moved to place his hands around your waist. "That was the point dumbass." you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss him. He smiled and kissed back.

He lifted you up and spun you around earning a laugh from you before setting you on the bed.

"Your dad is going to kill you if he finds out your here...maybe he'll kill me first." He said from above you. you smirked knowingly at him, and took a glance at the time on his nightstand.

" silly boy you underestimate me!" you pushed him off top of you and sat up. "It's currently 11: 35 meaning Magnum p.I. just finished up an hour ago. I, knowing everything about my father, knew that he goes to bed at exactly ten on the dot! giving me about twenty minutes to make sure he feel asleep before slipping out my window and into yours!" you booped him upon saying the last word, and slung your legs over his lap with a smile. "And your sister?"

"Sleep over with max." you said with a grin. "Now are you complaining about this or would you rather come over tomorrow and deal with three inches?" with out another word he moved in and kissed you.

It wasn't a secret that something had been different with you for the past couple of weeks. You had been pushing to do things you never once wanted to do, you started planing things around your father. Steve started taking note of these things but didn't say anything thinking it would pass. He pulled away scraching the back of his neck.

"What's wrong?"

"I was actually going to ask you the same thing." You looked at him confused. "C'mon you've been acting... different this past week."

"I have not..." He gave an unconvinced look. "I..." you groaned and feel back onto his bed. You pat the space beside you and he laied next to you.

"In all honesty...I Have no idea, like I feel I should but I don't just everytime my dad tells me not to do something it just pisses me off so I go against it! And lately it's worse I just feel like he...well...you get the point for the most part."

"Just a little teenage rebellion never hurt anyone." You chuckled lightly and snuggled into him. "I guess..."

"It'll pass over."you hummed in response and shut your eyes. "Hey don't let me fall asleep, I need to get home..." you muttered already pretty drowsy.

"No..no..I Promise.." he mumbled resting his chin on top of your head eyes slowly shutting. Soon enough you where both asleep.

"I'm telling you it's that harrington kid! He's nothing but a bad influence on her now!" joyce looked at hopper as he paced back and forth in front of her. "Well I think Steve is a nice guy." she said simply looking back down at the cash register.

"That's what he wants you to think!"

Joyce scrunched her noise in conduction. "Why would Steve want you to THINK he's nice?"

Hopper threw his hands up before placing them on the edge of the counter. "I Don't know!"

"I think maybe it's another one of those issues where you just need to talk to her!" Hopper opened his mouth but shut it when Steve's car pulled up outside.

Both adults watched you hop out after giving him a kiss. "Morning joyce! Hey dad." You slid on your blue vest that matched the one Joyce wore. "Where the hell were you this morning!"

"I accidentally slept over at Steve's last night. Not a big deal!"

"Not a big deal? Y/n I didn't know where you went! I thought something happened! When did you even leave?"

"I told you last night."

"When!?"

"God why do you even care!? I'm here alive and breathing! Nothing happened last night either!"

"Listen I don't know what this little teen rebellion thing you have going on but I've had enough! Enough of the disrespect and the lying and just everything from you now!"

You rolled your eyes and started towards the back to start working, but hopper only followed you. "Hey! Do not walk away from me when I AM talking to you! You know I think this Harrington kid I proving to be-"

You whirled around angrily. "You leave Steve out of this! It's NOT his fault I'm acting like this! It's YOUR own!"

He stoped taken aback by this. "What did you say?"

"It's your own damn fault I'm acting like this you are just to...to..ugh dense to realise that! To dense or stupid!"

His eyes widened. "Really? Well if I can't realise that maybe I don't know you anymore! You might as well be a stranger! You might as well not live under the same roof!"

"What are you kicking me out now because of this!?"

"Well I mean you wanna sneak out stay away as long as you can maybe I am." it was your turn to state at him suprised.

"Hop..." neither of you had realised Joyce was following trying her best to cool the both of you off. "Good. Fine! It's not like you'll notice you act like you have one daughter anyways!" you stormed to the front of the store the last part of your scentence sinking in.

"Wait what does that mean!? Where are you going!?"

"Get my stuff from your place! You want me out so fucking bad!" He stopped as the door slammed shut.

"Goddamn it!" He fumbled around for his keys until Joyce came up beside him and took them. "Hopper no! You need to stay here, I will go talk her! You need to cool down...I'll be back."

She quickly pushed the door open and hurried down the street to you.

"Y/n! Y/n!"

"Yes?" you snapped turning to her.

"Are you ok? What's going on with you?"

You stopped and stared at her searching very deep down inside. After telling steve last night something else came to mind something you thought was stupid and selfish. Something you swore you would just ignore but the more and more It stuck in your brain the more It made you want to act out.

"Y/n?.." Joyce moved closer to you and rubbed away a tear that started to fall from your face.

"I'm going to sound like a five year old of I tell you."

"Thats ok..." You both sat down on the curb and you took a breath.

"Every Sunday...dad would make French toast since it was my favioret...we had this silly superstion that if he made the first on properly the rest would turn out bad."

You started to cry just thinking of it and joyce simply placed a hand over yours as she listened. "So he always burnt the first one, that's how I would know he was making breakfast, because I would be waken up by the smell of burning bread." You both chuckled as you paused to wipe away tears.

"And every Friday we would rent a movie every Friday no matter what...It didnt matter if he was tired he would come home and take me to family video and we would pick a movie, we never finished then because we would both fall asleep...but that changed when he adopted el." You sighed using your free hand to play with your shoe laces.

"I love el so much, there is nothing in this world that could make me think other wise. But I get the feeling that nothing I do is ever as good as anything she could do in my dads eyes, I feel like I come on second now! And I miss our stupid old traditons!"

"So you did this as a way to get his attention?..."

You looked at her. "I guess in a weird toddler way of acting out yea.."

"It's not weird...love can make us do crazy things...even make us rebell against the people we love..."

"Yea...I guess it does." you smiled softly.

"But I think maybe you should talk to him tell him You miss doing things like that and miss spending time with him..."

You where scilent. "We could even go back together and tell him?"

So the both of you walked back to the store hopper stood there anxiously before you two came back in.

You both started to speak at the same time. "Let me it's my fault so just hear me out? And if by the end this you can...well you can kick me out if you want?"

He pulled you into a hug. "I don't think that gonna happen kiddo."

~a week later~

"What are you wearing?"

You looked over to your dad with a smile as you stepped out of your room. "What? It's...how would you put it? Cutting edge!" You joked making him laugh.

Things where better, a lot better no more teenage rebellion from you now that things where explained and fixed. There was a knock at the door catching both your attention.

"I'll get it!" you hurried across the room And opened the door. "El there here!" you stepped aside letting steve, Mike and joyce enter. Steve greeted you with a warm hug and kiss.

"Evening Sir." Steve said nervously after shutting the door.

"Relax kid, you can call me hopper. What movie did you get?"

You lead Steve to the couch as he looked through the bag. "Well everyone had different suggestions so out choices are. The breakfast club, ghost busters, American werwolf in london, pretty in pink, and Nightmare on elm street."

"I vote pretty in pink!" joyce said taking a seat next to hopper.

"No girly movie! Nightmare on elm street!" Mike chilled in. "Are you two even old enough to see that?" steve asked. Soon enough everyone started arguing over the movie.

You smiled at hopper and he offered you the same one knowing what would happen no matter what they picked.

"Ok Ok put the werewolf one on! Mike where are the snacks!" Hopper said quickly shutting every one up. Mike handed him the bag full of candy and snack before passing them out.

You curled up onto the couch next to Steve as the movie began

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. There was a big stressful part of the beginning but the majority of the day was very good. There was even a special surprise. And yoga.

I slept super poorly last night. I couldn't fall asleep for forever because I felt sick and nauseous and bad. And then when I did fall asleep I woke up a few times again. Air conditioner turned off in the middle of the night and James rollover next to me and I woke up just horribly uncomfortable. He wouldn't turn the air conditioning back on that because he always takes care of me. And I was able to sleep until about 7.

James was awake and told me I could keep sleeping but I didn't really want to. I wanted to lay there so I just played on my phone for a while. And then I got up. I got cleaned up and dressed and I felt okay.

I hung in my hammock for a little bit and then James told me he made a waffle. And I was like okay. And I was confused because he had asked me what I wanted for breakfast last night and I said I was going to have the avocado scramble thing I made the other day. And then he remembered that after he made the waffle and felt very bad. But it was fine. He made the thing I wanted and he had the waffle for breakfast instead.

I got the best boyfriend.

We hung out for a while and then left to go to the bus. James walked me there. And then bus proceeded not to show up for almost a half an hour. I was very frustrated. Because it was supposed to be there at 9: 30 but it didn't come until almost 9:50. And we had been there since 920. So I was very stressed out and I hate being late!! I texted Tiffany and let her know and I was just very distressed.

I was about 15 minutes late in the end. Sucks. I'm going to try to get an earlier bus tomorrow. So even if it runs late I will hopefully have the same issue. Because seriously we were three blocks away from access art and our bus driver saw someone on the street that he knew and he park the bus and got off to go have a conversation with him. I was losing my mind.

But I got there and everyone was fine. We're just lesson planning so it wasn't like I was missing anything yet but I hate being late. We all kind of bullshitted and talked for a little bit and then the teacher from holistic Life Center came.

He was a really nice guy. He told really funny stories and he was young and covered in tattoos and wearing a Orioles yoga shirt. He mostly talked about mindfulness. A little bit of yoga. And we learned a lot about breathing exercises. I felt very Vindicated and validated about the types of breathing exercises I already do with the kids when they're upset or hurt. But I learned some really interesting ones today. Specifically that I breathe wrong and I'm trying to retrain myself but it's very hard. It was very enjoyable even though I hated sitting in the folding chairs for that long. My feet don't reach the ground and it's uncomfortable.

But we also played a couple mindfulness games at the end of that was cool. Stuff that we can use in the classroom and it's awesome. I'm really glad that we were able to do that.

We had a late lunch. Marcus went down the street and got me a spring roll. Was very good. And I worked on my lesson plan. Almost out. I think I'll probably end up finishing it tomorrow. And then I'll go back in and make sure it's all good. I also think I want to use a couple other visual things for the classroom. And maybe add some tutorial images of some kind. We have tomorrow and Friday to finish lesson plans. And even with my brain breaks where I sketched tattoo ideas I still got a lot done.

While I was taking a break on my lesson plan I was looking at eBay and I got a crazy good deal on a Furby buddy. Something that I've been trying to get for 2 months now there's a little plush versions of the Furbies. I don't absolutely love them but people use them to make the long Furbies. And I'd like to try my hand at that. And I got one for $5. Usually they go for $35 to $40. I am very excited. I think I'm going to use it slightly as part of my example for my quilt making lesson. I'm going to make its belly pattern based off of Victorian crazy quilts. I'm very excited.

At 3 we finished up. We all decided on which weeks we should be teaching our lessons and when. Was decided that my quilt project would go first which makes me slightly nervous but it's probably a good idea. Because it's community building project we're going to kind of have all the kids get out there art things right away before they jump into other projects and I think that will work out nicely.

And then me and fitsum went home. His driving kind of makes me nauseous. Lot of fast speed up and then stopping. But we had a nice conversation about capitalism and its downfalls. And talked about apartments because he's moving as well. We saw a couple meet cars that we pointed out and talked about. It was a good time.

He dropped me off and I made some food. Did a couple packing things. Made a pile of the furniture and getting rid of. And just kind of hung out. Me and James were going to have dinner together but I kind of just wanted to be by myself a little bit. My dad's going to come visit this weekend and he's going to take the bed. So really these are the last couple days I'm ever going to live alone if all goes according to plan. And it feels very strange. I've lived alone for a long time. But I am excited. Nervous but excited.

I was just kind of chilling. Even though it was too humid in here to call it chilling. Playing Animal Crossing and watching videos. And then I decided to go check the mail.

I was excited because I had a package. But then I saw that there was a letter in there as well from the Minneapolis Apartment project. Which means it's from the class action settlement. Which means it's a check. When we won the settlement last year they said that we would get all of our rent back. But of course it was going to go into appeals. So we would probably just get a portion of our rent back. And honestly getting any amount of money from living in those apartments would be fine. But I was so nervous about opening this check. So he opened my package first. And it was socks! very exciting. I was looking forward to those socks. They're black and they have little hearts on them.

But I couldn't put off opening the check any longer. And I did and if I did my math right I thought about nine months worth of rent back. And the checks that this might not be the only check. That I might get more? Like after all the lawyers and fees are paid if there's anything left over there going to send another check. That's wild. And like all of my money stress. The $40 me and James got scammed out of the other day. James his bike breaking. Moving. All of it. This kind of feels like a buffer. We don't have to worry about it now. Least for a while. And I'm making more money and if he gets this job he's going to be at making more money. And even if he doesn't get this job he's going to keep looking until he does get something good. Don't have to be so stressed out and nickel-and-diming ourselves all the time. it's exciting. It feels Like the universe is telling me everything's going to be okay. That means using my white privilege to help make the lives of my neighbors and Minneapolis better is being rewarded. And that sometimes being a good person and trying to help other people does pay off in the end. And sometimes in cash.

I kind of didn't know what to say when I open the check. So I called James and let him know. And then I called my dad. We talked about taxes and he's going to check with the tax lady to make sure that I have put enough aside next year. I don't want to have an issue. But yeah it's exciting. And it was good to hear dad. He sounds a lot better. And he's looking forward to coming on Sunday and I'm looking forward to having him here. We're going to patch holes but hopefully we'll also do something else. Maybe we'll eat some good food and maybe we'll go see something interesting. Unsure of what yet but I'll figure that out.

I called Jess next to let her know. And she was very excited for me. And then I went back to packing. I brought more stuff from the basement. I broke down all of my Furby boxes. I don't know why I'm keeping them but it feels weird to throw them away. So flat in the Middle East to put them in storage. And I use the box that I have been storing them in to put kitchen stuff in. Paper towels and Ziploc bags. That one bottle of alcohol I always have. And then I took a shower. I painted my toenails and I'm just watching videos and enjoying my night.

Back to lesson planning tomorrow. And then I think falafels with James. No matter what it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Hope you all have a good night tonight. Be kind to each other. Go out of your way for someone else. Don't expect anything in return. Good night

[crucifixes-and-chrysanthemums]

I've decided, after Em mentioned her own journaling, that I should probably do it more. Once a week on Mondays at the least.

First off, three things I like about myself. One: I'm a good listener. Two: I am helpful to others. Three: I am good at understanding others' emotional perspectives.

That wasn't so hard, was it? Alright, maybe a little harder than it should be, but so be it. Blame it on the late time and I'm sorta tired. Anyway, it's almost Christmas! This Sunday, in fact. I know a few of my gifts, which is nice. Rice cooker, blanket, heated jacket. All stuff I can use. My secret Santa arrives tomorrow and it's something Lana Del Rey-related. It's Lana Del Rey-lated. Or at least, that's my guess. Mom and I got Pap a holster with a light for his 43X. I got dad a flashlight. I need to just get gift cards for the rest, I think. I don't really have any ideas, unfortunately. A few, but they're too cliche.

Em is breaking up with her boyfriend, and I support her. He gave her the clap and didn't tell her for a week. When he did it came out really shitty. Poor Em. I feel so bad for her. She just keeps getting kicked in the balls by life. Deserves much better. I might be going to visit her around March, for which I'm rather excited. It'll be nice to meet her in person. We've been talking a lot lately which is nice. It's nice to have company.

I'm thinking of going back to school. St. Bernard's school in the city has a bunch of classes I'm really interested in. They're not terribly expensive, financial aid is apparently easy to get, and their graduate certificates don't require an undergrad degree. Hopefully something to help for the future. Maybe, maybe not; still something I have to pray on a lot.

My prayer life has actually been decent lately! Still rather unorganized but pretty much every night I talk to God a little bit. So that's nice. Makes me feel like less of a shithead. Makes a real difference, honestly.

Man, there was something else I was gonna talk about but it totally slipped my mind. Unrelated, Campbell's Chunky Potato Ham Chowder? Bad. Really bad. Steak and potato? Absolutely cash money.

I've also come up with a new aesthetic/-core: Bog Wizard-core. Bog Wizard-core is the music and whatnot of a wizard living in a bog. Away from society, deep within a forest, where the light always seems to be shining, but the shadows are always a little long. Living in a giant boot, or perhaps a mushroom. Something made of nature but still shaped by man. Slow, ambient stuff. Mostly without lyrics. The type of music a Bog Wizard would listen to while brewing potions and observing wildlife and whatnot. Pianos, slow electric guitars, and woodwinds. Earth tones with flashes of bright blue and red here and there. Man, I wanna be a Bog Wizard. Note that Bog Wizard =/= Druid. Bog Wizards live in large footwear or huts augmented by, but not primarily made of nature. Druids live in nature augmented by huts, or right in a mushroom or something. I wanna just live in a bog and make potions and observe the wildlife and whatnot from my hut. Go on silly little walks through the bog with my magic torch to light my path.

That's about it, I suppose. Thanks for listening, diary. You always do.

12/20/22 - 12:26am.

[celenatriestowriteagain]

17 May

I'm not feeling well. We have a long weekend but I don't feel rested at all. Together with K and my other flatmate we went to 5 unit viewings this weekend (2 each on Saturday and Sunday and 1 today), and got 3 rejections. It doesn't feel nice to be rejected obviously, but it feels shittier to think of the sacrifices that we have to make if we want affordable rent.

I'm frustrated because I don't want to have to worry about these things. I want a place with enough space and natural light without roaches and doesn't eat into our savings, and with Singapore apparently that is too much to ask. I read that the rent is at its most expensive right now, and I can see it. The competition among potential tenants is crazy.

So that's what occupied my mind and energy and time over the weekend, and the week's just starting but I am already TIRED. How do people even keep being level headed these times is beyond me. Maybe I need to go out more and talk to people more. I am also tired of hearing myself do nothing but complain you know. Um anyway. I'm gonna try and gaslight myself into thinking positive:

we have time. we got a few more weeks to go before we have to move out

there's gonna be some cash arriving in october i think, so hang in there

I got nothing else. Tomorrow there's a lunch with the rest of the PD team so that's nice. I'm trying to look forward to it but if I'm being honest I just dread it. I need to think of positive topics so I don't just offload all my compaints about work and living in Singapore. On Wednesday there is a 1:1 with Alex, and on Friday there's karaoke so that should be fun.

Good natured topics for tomorrow's lunch

upcoming holidays? talk about my recent holiday in Sydney. How I was terrified of spiders and ghosts and thieves but I didn't encounter any of that. How I met some nice people and I got called a little girl. How I saw a koala and a kangaroo and a wombat an emu a tasmanian devil etc. How people were so nice and will ask you about your day and will thank bus drivers and will help you with your bags. How trips to the cbd was capped at $1 per day. How it didn't rain one bit. How I caught a show and a drag performance and a random gig.

ask them about any upcoming holidays?!

do they believe in ghosts?? superstitious? like do they buy toto

ask about how they're doing idk, what are they spending their time on

what did you do over the long weekend?!?

going into viewings, bidding and losing, but aside from that...

how I watched my teammate's favorite movies. like secret life of walter mitty and its connection with severance. hot fuzz and how gory it was in the end. to the pub! and the multiverse movies and how everything everywhere all at once was superior

how I'm planning to see back to the future and lord of the rings next

how I've seen some interesting horror movies lately like X and Saint Maud

X's antagonist is unlike anything seen before. Saint maud was just a trip

also liked CODA

have they seen anything interesting lately?!

karaoke on friday. do they want to join

ummm idk do they play any games?! i play genshin impact but it's got delayed updates because of the covid situation in china idk

how it feels great to be able to go out without masks now, and how nice that we don't need to do tracetogether at malls, but now the novelty has worn off and I'm back at staying at home again