#maya's spencer penelope friendship collection

[spencer-reids-adventures]

If it's something you're comfortable writing, Reid coming out as MtF trans to Garcia, and Garcia helping Spencer to feel comfortable wearing feminine clothes/accessories (maybe starting off with cute hair clips) around the team.

Spencer doesn't call before going over to Penelope's apartment, just rings the buzzer and hopes for the best.

"Spencer?" Penelope says as she opens the door. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Spencer nods, fingers twisting with anxiety.

"Are you busy? I can come back another time..."

"No, no, I just finished dinner," Penelope says. "Come on in. What's going on?"

"I need to tell you something," Spencer says, "and I'm really nervous, even though I don't think you'll be upset, but you might be, but I don't know, and I just really want to tell you and I have for a while but I'm nervous and there's no one else I can talk to about it and--"

"Whoa, honey, slow down," Penelope says with a small laugh. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah," Spencer says, taking a breath. "Okay. Yes. Penelope. I'm transgender. I--I was assigned male at birth, but I--"

She's interrupted by Penelope tackling her into a hug.

"Oh, sugar bean, I'm so glad you felt comfortable telling me," Penelope squeals. "Oh, my god, I interrupted you, I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait..."

"That was the gist of it," Spencer says, laughing. "I think I'd like to start presenting myself in a more feminine way. But, like... slowly. You know?"

"Of course," Penelope tells her. "Are you planning to tell the rest of the team?"

"Eventually," Spencer says. "I mean, soon, probably. I just wanted to sort of ease into things."

"That's fair," Penelope says. "Hey. I'm really proud of you."

Spencer blushes. "Thank you."

"Also, I have these super cute hair clips, if you're interested? You don't have to wear them to work if you don't want to, but they're adorable, and also subtle, but they would look sooo good on you..."

She ducks into the other room to grab the hair clips and then drops them in Spencer's outstretched palm.

"Oh, wow," Spencer says, her eyes lighting up. "I think these might be perfect."

"I knew they would be," Penelope says with a grin. "Hey. Can I hug you again?"

Spencer barely finishes nodding before Penelope is holding her tight, and Spencer knows she made the right decision coming here first.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

hi! do you think you could write something with adhd reid? i really love your autistic reid stuff so maybe something where he has both? i also hc garcia as having adhd too so maybe she’s in it as well? :)

this is dedicated to @slutabed 💗

---

The team already knows about his autism , and they've been nothing but supportive - but Spencer is still hesitant to let them know when he gets diagnosed with ADHD. It feels like too much somehow. Like he already has his quirk, his "thing," and anything else would just be overkill. Annoying. Unbelievable.

So he doesn't tell them, not when he gets the diagnosis, not when he has to wait to be able to start medication, and definitely not when it feels like he's juggling way too many ceramic plates and doing everything he can not to drop them.

He worries they'll tell him he won't be able to do his job. He worries they'll think he's exaggerating his symptoms. He worries he'll ruin everything somehow, even if he can't track exactly how that might happen. His brain is a jumble, and it's exhausting, and confusing, and it's so frustrating it's almost painful.

The problem, of course, is that he's on a team of profilers.

1

"You doing okay, pretty boy?" Morgan asks when he sees Spencer frantically sifting through the hundreds of post-it notes covering his desk, trying to find the exact one he needs.

"I'm fine," Spencer replies, barely looking up.

2

"You've got to stay on topic, Spence," JJ tells him when he gets distracted on a tangent and can't even remember what started him talking in the first place.

"I'm sorry," Spencer replies, cheeks burning with shame.

3

"Kid, you're jiggling your leg so hard you're shaking the table," Rossi rebukes him when he can't force himself to stay still no matter how hard he tries, no matter how disruptive he knows he's being.

This time Spencer says nothing, just pushes down on his leg with both hands and hopes for the best.

4

"Reid, I need you here," Hotch calls as Spencer frantically tries to read everything on the board and in their notes and in all of the police files - it's the only way he can commit it all to memory, and he knows he'll forget the second he turns his back if he doesn't get a chance to see everything.

"Coming," Spencer replies, walking backwards out of the room so he has time to memorize as much as possible, hoping no one else will notice.

5

"Jeez, Reid, I know you weren't expecting me to come over, but..." Emily's eyes are wide as she looks around his kitchen, the mail covering the entire counter, the sink piled high with dishes, dirty pots and pans sitting on the stove, garbage can overflowing.

"I know, I know," Spencer replies, unable to come up with an excuse other than the truth: I can't make myself do it, I can't force myself to do the things I know I need to do, and then it just gets worse and worse and worse and I don't know how to fix it.

6

"Sugar bean, come down to my office for a sec?" Garcia says, waving him over, and he follows her with no clue as to what she wants.

When they arrive in her office, she hands him a set of plastic drawers small enough to sit on his desk.

"What's this?" he asks.

"It's an organizer," she says. "One drawer is for your keys. One is for your notes. The rest are for whatever other things you keep losing because you don't have a designated place for them."

"How did you know--"

"Because you're not the only one in this office with ADHD," she says kindly. "You've been diagnosed, right?"

"Yeah, just recently."

"Well, I've been meaning to give this to you for ages but I kept, uh... forgetting," she says, laughing at herself. "Anyway, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you, okay? Even if you're not ready to tell the rest of the team yet."

"Thank you, Penny," Spencer says, feeling relaxed for the first time in months. "I just might take you up on that."

[spencer-reids-adventures]

from @mightdieforkeats: if you vibe with queer reid then reid coming to terms with his queerness, maybe like coming out to penelope?

-

“Am I too gay to function?” Spencer asks sleepily, nearing the end of the movie.

Penelope pauses Mean Girls and turns to look at him.

“What, honey?”

Spencer yawns. “Am I too gay to function?” he mumbles. “Like Damian?”

“Oh my god,” Penelope whispers. “Oh my god, sweetie, are you coming out to me?”

“Mhmm,” Spencer hums, a sleepy smile on his face.

He burrows into Penelope’s shoulder, and she gently pulls him down so his head is in her lap, grabbing a blanket with one hand and tossing it over him.

Penelope smiles, running her fingers gently through Spencer’s long hair. She wonders if he’ll remember in the morning. If he meant to tell her. She wonders if he knows how honored she is to know.

The next morning, everyone is drinking coffee in the break room.

“What did you guys do last night?” Emily asks Spencer.

“Garcia’s been bugging me to watch Mean Girls ever since I realized that JJ was a mean girl--”

“Hey!” JJ interrupts.

“--so I went over to her place and we watched that. I fell asleep before the end, though.”

“Ugh, that’s such a great movie,” Morgan says, and everyone turns to stare. “What? I appreciate good humor, especially from the mind of Tina Fey.”

They’re in a deep discussion of the movie when Hotch appears, tilting his head at them to follow him to the conference room.

“Get in, losers,” Penelope says. “We’re going shopping. Uh, murder shopping.”

Later, Rossi compliments Spencer on his shirt.

“On Wednesdays, we wear pink,” he says solemnly, fingering the fabric of his rose-colored button-down.

Penelope’s getting ready to leave at the end of the day when Spencer shows up in her office. He stands there for a few moments before clearing his throat, and she turns around to give him her full attention.

“Just so you know," he says shyly, "I do remember coming out to you last night. And I don’t regret it. I thought I might... But I don’t.”

Penelope beams.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

an ace spencer fic for ace week <3

For someone who reads as much as he does, who knows as much as he does, Spencer Reid finds it truly baffling that it takes him as long as it does to find the right word to describe himself.

The word that describes the churning in his stomach when Lila slipped a hand from his cheek down below the surface of the water, down where his gun had just been...

The word that describes the sinking feeling when he went to bed with Ethan, thinking it was the right thing to do...

The word that describes the relief that washed over him when JJ turned his date into a team bonding trip to a boring football game...

The word that describes the way he convinced himself he was gay, because he certainly never wanted to have sex with a woman...

The word that describes the way he convinced himself he was straight, because he certainly never wanted to have sex with a man...

The word that describes the way he convinced himself he was bisexual, because that was the only other option...

It glares at him from his computer screen, like it's mocking him, like it's saving him. Like it fits.

Asexual.

He knows the word in a scientific context, of course: formed by, characterized by, or being a process of reproduction (as the dividing of one cell into two cells) that does not involve the combining of male and female germ cells.

This, though - this is not that.

This is relief. This is validation. This is grace.

For perhaps the very first time in his life, Spencer wonders if maybe he's not broken after all. Sure, he has his other issues, his traumas, his shortcomings. But this - this! There's a name for this.

He's not the only one.

He wants to tell someone. He wants to tell everyone, but he also doesn't.

But he wants to tell someone.

"Hey, sugar bean, what's up?" Penelope answers when Spencer dials her.

"I think I'm asexual," he blurts out without preamble, without a single thought except must tell right now.

"Congratulations!" Penelope says, and it catches Spencer off guard.

"For what?" he asks.

"Doesn't it feel good when you figure out your identity? When it finally makes sense? Even if it changes later, I think there's something liberating about knowing you aren't alone."

"How are you so smart?" he asks with a weak laugh.

"Not smart. Just...if you'd asked me my sexuality anytime over the last 20 years or so, I'd have given you a different answer anytime you asked. It felt right when I was a lesbian. It felt right when I was bisexual. It feels right, now, just to say queer. But it's always good, honeybun, to learn more about yourself."

"I didn't know," Spencer confesses. "About me. I didn't even know it was a thing."

"And now you do," Penelope says happily. "And even better - now you know what to research."

"I love research," Spencer says, eyes widening, like it's a sudden realization.

"I know," Penelope says with a little laugh.

They hang up, and Spencer walks out of his apartment and straight to the library.

"Asexual," he whispers to himself as he walks. "Asexual. Asexual. Asexual."

He can't keep the smile off his face.

He doesn't want to.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

“do you think i should dye my hair again?”

“are you thinking red again like last time?”

“you really suited red!”

girls night prompt please <3

“Do you think I should dye my hair again?”

“Are you thinking red again like last time?”

“You really suited red!”

"Okay, Em and Jayj have spoken... what do you think, Spencer?" All eyes turn to him, Penelope's hands clasped in anticipation of his answer.

"Oh, I don't know if my opinion should count," he says, blushing. "Listen to the other girls, they know what they're talking about."

Penelope rolls her eyes. "Of course your opinion matters! Be honest, do you think I should dye it red again?"

Spencer contemplates his answer before giving up and just speaking his mind.

"If you want to dye your hair again, you absolutely should," he says. "The red looked really good, but... you would look amazing with any color hair, Penelope, and I love the way you experiment with it and play with different colors. I get so excited when you come in and it's something new and unexpected. You're the only one on the team who could possibly get away with that, and I'm so glad that you do. It makes my eyes happy. It makes me happy."

The whole room goes silent, and Spencer looks around shyly, wondering if he crossed some kind of line. Then suddenly he's tackled into a hug, and he can tell by the cotton candy scent that it's Penelope.

"Wow, boy genius, I wasn't expecting that," she says. "I'm glad to know my hair colors make you so happy..."

"It's not just your hair," Spencer says, carefully extracting himself from Penelope's grip before he gets claustrophobic. "Your dresses and your glasses and your shoes... the colors and patterns... you're like, the embodiment of joy... Penelope, just looking at you is basically a visual happy stim."

She's got herself wrapped around him again in an instant, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You and me, boy wonder, we are like this," she says, crossing two of her fingers together. "That's exactly why I dress the way I do, and I've never been able to put it into words like that."

"You choose nice fabrics, too," Spencer points out. "Sometimes it hurts when people hug me, but never with you, at least not because of your clothes."

"That's also on purpose," Penelope grins. "But I'm sure you knew that."

"Guys, I can't really relate to this conversation, but your friendship is about to make me cry from cuteness," JJ says.

"Me too," Emily agrees. "I'm going to grab more wine while you two keep being adorable. Anyone else want anything?"

"More sparkling grape juice for me," Spencer says.

"More sparkling grape juice for Spencer," Penelope says at exactly the same time.

The whole apartment explodes into laughter and JJ jumps up to help Emily.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Hiya! Sending an ask for your queue of more spencer reid smoking? We had a quick conversation about it. Thanks!!! Xxx

cw smoking

-

Penelope finds him when he’s outside in the park across from the building.

“Baby Genius, I have–” She stops in her tracks. “Are you smoking?”

“How’d you even know I was here?” Spencer asks, holding his cigarette at waist level as though she’ll somehow forget what she saw.

“I tracked your location,” she says, leaving out the duh. “I didn’t think you’d be out here doing that, though! Sugar bean, how long have you been a smoker?”

Spencer shrugs. “Since I was a teenager,” he admits.

“You know that’s very, very bad for you.”

“I know,” Spencer sighs. “I know all the statistics, believe me. But I can’t help it. It’s a habit, and I’m addicted, and it’s just… it’s just part of me, you know?”

Penelope shakes her head. “I’m afraid I don’t, honeybun. I’ve known you for years, and I’ve never known you as a smoker. So I can confidently say that while it may be a habit and an addiction, it certainly isn’t an important part of you.

“I guess.”

“What made you start smoking when you were a teenager?”

“It’s embarrassing,” Spencer says, blushing.

“Tell me anyway?”

“I wanted to hurt myself,” he admits. “And I knew my mom couldn’t get mad at me for it, because it was her cigarettes I stole in the first place. And then I just got used to it.”

“Do you still do it as a way to hurt yourself?”

Spencer nods.

“I worry about you, you know.”

“I know,” Spencer says. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Couldn’t help it if I tried.”

“Are you going to tell me I have to quit?”

Penelope looks at him with a sad expression on her face, but she shakes her head.

“I hope you will,” she says. “But I won’t tell you that you have to, because it’s your body, and you get to choose what you do with it. Just… be careful, please.”

“I’m careful.”

“And, you know, sometimes, if you’re craving a cigarette… you could call me instead.”

Spencer smiles then. “I can try,” he promises. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

[spencer-reids-adventures]

request ( if ur ok w it that is ) tw

the team find out spencer has been self harming for like... ages and ages and he is super blasé abt it bc its so normal to him and theyre concerned and frustrated?

Nobody wants to say anything because they don't know how Spencer will react - if he'll be embarrassed, ashamed, if he'll completely fall apart. They tiptoe around it for weeks, whispering among themselves, trying to figure out the right time to approach him, the right things to say.

In the end, it's JJ who confronts him.

"Spence, are you doing okay?" she asks him quietly when he's getting coffee one afternoon. "You know I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"I'm fine," Spencer replies, looking confused. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, of course not," JJ assures him. "It's just... some of us have noticed some, ah, cuts and scars..."

"Oh, that," Spencer says. "That's no big deal. Don't worry about it. I've been doing it for ages." He takes his coffee and heads back to his desk, looking completely unperturbed.

JJ rushes to Penelope's office in a panic.

"I asked him about them," she says, closing the door behind her. "I asked him about the cuts, and he acted like it was nothing. He said he's been doing it forever. And then he just walked away like nothing was wrong at all! Like he didn't even care!"

"Breathe," Penelope instructs. "It's gonna be okay."

"How is it going to be okay? He's hurting and he's not even worried about it."

"Honey, he's probably gotten so used to being in pain that it doesn't even seem like a big deal to him anymore. We have to show him that he needs help."

"How do we do that?"

"I don't know," Penelope sighs.

In the end, the opportunity presents itself to Penelope before she can work out a plan. Spencer comes to her office one evening looking exhausted, and she immediately pulls up a chair for him.

"You okay, baby genius?" she asks warmly.

"It's just a bad day," Spencer tells her. "And I'm tired, and everything is bad, and I just want to--"

"Hurt yourself?" Penelope supplies without thinking.

"Yeah," Spencer says without missing a beat. "But I'm still stuck here for another hour, so."

"You know we're worried about you, right?"

"Why?" Spencer asks, looking surprised. "You don't need to worry about me. Neither does JJ..."

"We're all worried about you," Penelope tells him. "Hurting yourself isn't okay, Spencer."

"It's what I've always done," he shrugs. "I know how to be safe about it."

"It's still not okay," Penelope insists. "Maybe you could try letting us be here for you instead?"

"I know you're here for me."

"I know you do. But let us be here for you. Talk to us when you feel like that. You don't have to hurt yourself, sugar bean. And I really wish you wouldn't."

Spencer sighs. "I'll try, okay?"

"That's all I ask," Penelope replies. "You have our numbers. Thank you, boy wonder."

"Thank you," he says. "All of you. I-- I really do promise I'll try."

[spencer-reids-adventures]

“i don’t do hugs.”

“I don’t do hugs.”

"I know that, sugar--" Penelope starts to say, but she's interrupted by Spencer vigorously shaking his head.

"I don't do hugs, but I think I really n-need one right now." He barely gets the words out before he's sobbing uncontrollably, and Penelope catches him in her arms before he can fall to his knees.

"Oh, honey," she says softly. "It's okay. You're okay..."

She doesn't let go as she walks them backwards to the bed, and then she carefully sits down, bring Spencer with her. It's late, and her hotel room is on the left side of Spencer's, the side where the bed is. She doesn't remember who's on the other side, but she doesn't think the sound of Spencer wailing will travel very far.

After a little while, Spencer starts to slump against her, so she pulls him back with her until they're lying down, and they fall asleep like that.

Penelope wakes up to the sound of water and sees that the door to the bathroom is closed. It's still the middle of the night.

"Spencer?" she says, knocking lightly. "Are you okay?"

He doesn't answer, and the light is off, which makes her nervous. She tries the doorknob and is relieved to find it unlocked, and when she enters the bathroom she finds the shower on full blast and Spencer sitting directly under the spray of water. He's naked, but curled up such that he isn't on display. He's hitting the back of his head lightly on the tile every few seconds, and it's obvious to Penelope that he's holding himself back.

Her first instinct is to panic and drag him out of there, but he's not actually in danger as far as she can tell, and she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable, so she pauses and considers her next move.

She slides the glass shower door open and sits down on the floor right next to the tub. Then she reaches in and puts a hand on his shoulder, hoping to ground him rather than startle him, which seems to work - when he turns to look at her, he's calm.

"You okay, sweetie?" she asks. Spencer stops banging his head and nods, then shakes his head, then shrugs.

"Sometimes when everything is too much or not enough it helps to sit in a dark shower," he says. "Everything is predictable - brightness, sound, temperature, smell, pressure. And the water feels nice on my skin."

"Is it helping now?"

"I think so," he says. "I couldn't really think of anything else to do that wasn't gonna hurt me. And I couldn't do that to you, 'cause I knew you'd blame yourself, even if it wasn't your fault."

"You know I just want you to be safe," Penelope says softly. "I love you so much, you know that?"

"Love you too," Spencer says. "You're my best friend. And probably the only one I could handle asking for a hug tonight."

"If I bring you a towel and some pajamas, do you think you'd want to dry off and let me tuck you in?"

"Would you, um..." Spencer says awkwardly. "I mean, do you think you could maybe stay? Here? Tonight?"

"Of course I can," Penelope says. "I'm gonna run next door and put on my own pajamas while you get ready, okay? And I'll be back here in a flash."

Ten minutes later they're both tucked up in bed, Penelope holding Spencer close again.

"I'm really sad," he whispers, sniffling, into the darkness. "And empty. And I thought it was just understimulation, but it's gone on so long now, and it's not going away, and I'm scared it's actually something bigger. Or worse."

"Sweet pea, when did you go off your meds?" Penelope whispers back.

"How did you know?"

"Because they take this feeling away, my beautiful genius. This might surprise you, but I know you, and I can tell when you're okay and when you're not. Honey, finding out you need the medication after all doesn't make you a failure, or weak, or broken. I promise."

"I guess I just... thought it was over."

"It might not ever be over. And you know what? That's okay, and you will still have an amazing, beautiful life full of love and learning and helping people. Because you are Doctor Spencer Fucking Reid. And you are one of the absolute best people I've ever had the privilege of knowing."

Spencer doesn't say anything, but the way he clings to Penelope as he cries tells her that he heard every word she said.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I really like your stuff, so here’s a prompt that’s been rattling around in my brain:

Spencer becomes so sleep deprived that he starts hallucinating which of course would have a huge effect on him. He’d preferably be calmed down by Garcia :)

-

if you saw me accidentally post this before it was finished and then delete it, no you didn’t <3

-

Spencer loses track of how many days it's been since he slept, and that's a problem. Usually he keeps track, makes sure that he doesn't get carried away and forget such a basic human function, but sometimes he gets so stuck in his head, so stuck on some project, that he can't keep track, and that's when he gets in trouble.

The case is local, and they finally solve it thanks to Spencer's expertise with ciphers, and it's still early in the day. Most of them go home, but Spencer decides to head back to the office to get started on paperwork.

He's getting read to begin when he hears a sound like the radio playing somewhere nearby, and he looks around, but no one's there, and nothing's playing. He even stands up and walks around, but there are no phones, TVs, nothing on or making the noise.

He tries to ignore it and goes back to his desk when he gets the feeling that someone is behind him. He looks up and sees the shadow of a person, just outside of his line of view. When he turns further, they've disappeared.

He ignores it and gets back to work, but it happens again when he reaches for a stapler, and again when he goes to get more coffee, and the sound in the background won't go away, and before he knows it he's on the floor in Garcia's office, hands over his ears, rocking back and forth in tears.

"Reid!" Penelope exclaims. "What's going on? What do you need?"

He's whispering something, and she has to lean in close, closer, closer, before she finally understands what he's saying.

"It's happening it's happening it's happening it's happening--" he whispers over and over, pausing only to sob.

He reaches for his hair and starts to pull on it, then jumps up and starts pacing around Penelope's office, looking in the corners, turning behind him, putting his hands back over his ears, frantically trying to do anything to make it all stop.

"Sugar bean, I need you to tell me what's happening," Penelope says urgently. "Spencer. What's happening?"

He finally stops moving long enough to say, "I'm having a schizophrenic break, just like my mother. I always knew it would happen. And now it's happening. And I can't-- I can't--"

"Present me with the evidence," Penelope says immediately.

"Do you hear a noise? Like a TV or a radio in the background, sometimes whispering, sometimes saying things you can't quite understand?"

Penelope shakes her head.

"Do you see shadows? People in your peripheral vision, but they disappear when you turn? Shadow people?"

She shakes her head.

"That's because they're hallucinations. Because it's finally happening."

“Can I ask you a question?” Penelope says. “Before you completely freak out on me? I’m not saying this isn’t freak-out-worthy, and I understand why you’re scared. But I just want to make sure I have all the information, okay?”

Spencer nods.

“When was the last time you slept, hon?”

He stops moving completely, thinking, calculating. His shoulders slump.

“Eighty-four hours ago,” he mutters.

“Okay,” Penelope says. “Grab your stuff. I’m driving you home. You’re going to sleep for a very long time. And if you’re still hallucinating after that - then we’ll have this conversation again, okay?”

“Okay,” Spencer says quietly.

“Let’s go, boy wonder.” She grabs his arm and guides him to the bullpen.

“Thank you for not telling me I’m overreacting,” Spencer says as they approach her car. “Thank you for-- for listening to me.”

“I will always listen to you, Spencer,” Penelope promises. “Always.”

[spencer-reids-adventures]

promt!!!!

whilst in prison, penelope sees spencer first, of course he’s freaking out about everything but the first thing he says when she asks abour his head is that someone needs to feed his fish, “tuesday is the last day until my feeder runs out, please, go say hi to them!!”

i feel like their names are something really odd and pretty. or maybe just a pun, like 3 fish all called Edgar, Allan, and Poe.

Penelope doesn't know what to expect when she goes to visit Spencer in prison. She's never done this before, and obviously neither has he. The whole thing feels Big and Scary and Unfamiliar.

The night before, she runs through scenarios in her mind. Maybe he'll be angry, and he won't want to talk to her. Maybe he'll be broken, and he won't be able to talk to her. Maybe he'll be sad, and he'll cry. Maybe he'll be completely blank.

Nothing prepares her for how it actually goes.

They sit on either side of a divider, but at least they can talk face to face. Spencer has a black eye and he looks tired, like maybe he hasn't slept. When he sees Penelope, though, his eyes grow wide and frantic.

"Boy wonder?" Penelope says, panicked. "Are you okay? I mean, of course not. I mean, you--"

"Penelope," Spencer says, cutting her off. "Can you please feed my fish?"

"Your fish?"

Spencer nods. "Tuesday is the last day until my feeder runs out," he explains. "Please, go say hi to them!!"

"I didn't even know you had fish, honeybun," Penelope admits.

"I have three," Spencer tells her. "Edgar, Allan, and Poe. Will you make sure they get fed while I'm in here?"

"Of course," Penelope says, smiling to herself at the names. "Of course I will."

Spencer suddenly looks much more relaxed.

"You were pretty worried about that, weren't you?" she says quietly.

"It helps to worry about one specific thing, instead of everything," Spencer says. "I just let myself obsess over that and forget about everything else for a second. Also, I really was worried about the fish."

"I will make sure they get the best care," Penelope promises. "Now, how are you?"

Spencer is silent for a moment before he bites his lip and tears start running down his cheeks.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Reid: "I can never tell whether you're joking or not when you say things like that."

Garcia: "Oh, wouldn't you like to know."

Reid: "I would, actually. That's why I'm asking."

"I can never tell whether you're joking or not when you say things like that," Reid grumbles.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know," Garcia says with a grin.

"I would, actually," Reid says. "That's why I'm asking."

Garcia's smile turns sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, sugar," she says. "You're right, I'm not really being fair to you, am I?"

"I mean, it's not just you," Reid concedes. "Everyone does it. I'm just really bad at detecting humor, I guess. Or I think something is a joke, but then I worry that I'm wrong, or vice versa. In any case, there's huge potential for awkwardness and embarrassment."

"We could have a code," Garcia suggests, eyes widening with excitement. "Ooh! No, really, we could have, like, a signal. And when I give you the signal, you know that I'm joking. Or someone else is joking. It could work anytime we're together!"

"Like our own personal real-life tone indicators?"

"My sweet baby luddite, how do you know about tone indicators?"

"I frequent message boards in the scientific community. Most of those people aren't any better at picking up on intention and social cues than I am. Tone indicators are huge there."

"Well, that's exactly what I'm talking about, real-life tone indicators. Like, if I do this--" she touches the right corner of her glasses frames deliberately with one finger "--then you know that what I said, or what whoever said, was meant as a joke."

"And if you don't, it either wasn't a joke, or you weren't paying attention?"

"I'll try really hard to pay attention!" Garcia promises.

"I really like that, actually. Thank you, Garcia."

"Anything for you, boy wonder. Anything."

[spencer-reids-adventures]

sad prompt for sad bitches✨✨

after nelson sparrow, reid and garcia talk for a bit. spencer is obviously gutted and in a wreck and penelope is in a fragile state of mind and they both just talk together, letting all their feelings out and being sad for the sake of being sad.

i feel like you could explore that way better than me rn lmao

cw death

Penelope finds Spencer curled up on the floor in the corner of the porch, hair messy and face stained with tears. Everyone else has left by now - it’s just the two of them at the cabin.

“Come inside, sugar bean,” she says quietly, resting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “It’s getting cold out here.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Spencer murmurs. “I can hear the birds out here.”

Penelope sits down next to him, pulling him against her so that his head is resting on her shoulder, her arm around his back.

“Okay,” she says. “Can we talk while we listen to the birds?”

She feels Spencer nod against her.

“How are you holding up?”

Spencer is quiet for a long time.

“Bad,” he finally says. “This feels bad.”

“Yeah,” Penelope sighs. “It does feel bad.”

“Do you think he’d want us to be sad?” Spencer asks softly. “Or do you think he’d want us to focus on the good stuff?”

Now it’s Penelope’s turn to be quiet.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I could never understand what Gideon wanted. It was like he lived in his own little bubble, and you just had to kind of do your best to keep up.”

“Yeah,” Spencer agrees with a wet laugh. “That’s exactly what he was like.”

“Do you remember that time he had to stay home on a case because he was hurt, and he took over my lair and drove me crazy, and when it was all over, Hotch sent me flowers and told me they were from Gideon?”

“Hotch sent those flowers?”

“Yeah.” Penelope smiles. “He doesn’t know that I know. But I do.”

“I miss Gideon,” Spencer whispers. “He wasn’t– It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“This shouldn’t happen to anyone.”

“He should have lived until he was old and gray, and he should have found a new love of his life, and they should have lived happily ever after and then died in their sleep together. Peacefully.”

“That’s how everyone should go.”

“Yeah.” Spencer lets out a deep breath. “Remember what a good profiler he was? He would do all those crazy things, and everyone thought he was bonkers, and then he would just…solve the case.”

Penelope smiles. “We were lucky to work with him.”

“I was lucky he picked me for this. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for him. He made me feel safe when I was in school. He gave me a goal and a purpose.”

“He was like a dad to you.”

“He was,” Spencer confirms, a fresh wave of tears falling from his eyes.

“He kind of was for me, too, sometimes,” Penelope admits. “I didn’t like it very much, because he was annoying, but I also always knew he had my back.”

“I miss him.”

Penelope leans over and wraps her other arm around Spencer so she’s holding him tight.

“We’ll get through this together,” she says.

“I don’t want to get through it. I don’t want it to be happening.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how to do this. How do I do this, Penny? How– how did you do this?”

“When I lost my parents?”

“Yeah,” Spencer whispers.

“Badly,” she sighs. “I was a kid, and I was angry, and I thought it was my fault. It took me years to deal with it. I’m still dealing with it, I think.”

“Does this make it worse?”

“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “I haven’t really processed it yet.”

“Can you hear the birds?”

Penelope smiles. “Yeah, boy wonder. I can hear the birds.”

“Can we just listen to them for a while?”

“Of course.”

They sit there together for a long time, silently remembering.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

prompt request: could you write something about spencer’s vision getting really bad?

It happens slowly, as these things tend to, and so, slowly, Spencer adapts.

First he starts to squint during Garcia's briefings so he can see the screen better.

Then he moves to sit in a chair closer to the front, so he doesn't have to look as far.

Going over files gives him a headache, so he keeps a bottle of ibuprofen at his desk along with a water bottle.

It takes an absurdly long time for him to put all the pieces together and recognize that something must be wrong with his vision.

He thinks about going to the eye doctor - he really does! - but he hates the thought of all of those instruments so close to his eyes, and his old eye doctor has retired so he has to find someone new - a stranger - and he just doesn't want to deal with any of that.

So he ignores it.

Penelope is the one to notice something's wrong. Penelope always notices.

"Sugar bean, do you need new glasses?" she asks, pulling him aside after she catches him squinting during a briefing.

"No," he says quickly. "I'm fine."

"I know you're lying," she says. "I know that squint, and I know you hate doctors. Will you just let me make an eye appointment for you?"

"No," Spencer says again. "It's nothing, please, just let it go."

"You know I can't do that," Penelope chides. "You need to be able to see, honey. Peoples' lives depend on it."

She knows his kryptonite. She knows he won't be able to say no when peoples' lives are in danger. When bad vision on his part could result in horrible repercussions for the people he's trying to help.

"Fine," he sighs. "You can make the appointment."

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Spencer with body insecurities and Garcia helping him with them.

"What are you doing?" Spencer squawks as Penelope starts taking off her shirt.

"Getting changed for bed," she replies, motioning toward her mattress for emphasis. "Obviously."

"Right, I just thought you'd want more privacy..."

"This is my apartment, sugar bean, and I don't care if you see me without clothes on."

"Okay, but I can change in the bathroom, right?"

"Of course you can," Penelope says, frowning. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you feel like--"

"No, it's fine, you're fine," Spencer assures her. "I'm just... self-conscious about my body, I guess."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't really know what to say? I used to be skinny and awkward, and now I'm not as skinny but still awkward, which leaves me to believe maybe I'm just weirdly proportioned, or maybe I just carry my weight in an unflattering--"

"Hey," Penelope interrupts. "Kiddo, your body is perfect, and always has been. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it's yours. It's part of the whole Spencer Reid package. It gets you where you need to go. It lets you move and breathe and dance. It makes you strong and quick. It helps you help people."

"But what about--"

"Nope. It's perfect. You can't convince me otherwise."

Spencer smiles as he ducks into the bathroom to change.

"Thanks, Penny," he says. "For real. I'll try to start thinking about it that way."

"I'm here if you ever need a refresher," Penelope says. "I never get tired of telling you how great you are."

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Choose a Character Week - Day 4

Favorite Relationship: Spencer Reid & Penelope Garcia

text from 9x24 Demons

@delilahjareau

[spencer-reids-adventures]

“I am about to have a seizure.”

“I am about to have a seizure.”

Spencer comes up behind Penelope and whispers it in her ear, and she immediately abandons her dance partner and takes Spencer by the elbow, guiding him inside Rossi's house, where they're alone and safe.

He feels terrible taking her away from her own going away party, but she was the one with him in the hospital, she was the one who was there when the doctor explained about late post-traumatic seizures, and how they are fairly common after a brain hemorrhage like the one Spencer had.

Penelope guides him to one of Rossi's guest rooms and lays him down on his side just in case. She pulls her phone out and gets the timer app ready, and then she stays close, murmuring soothing words to keep him calm.

"You're safe," she whispers. "I've got you. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm glad you came and found me. And I'm so glad you're here. This is such a nice party, isn't it? Everyone all together, and music, and laughing..."

She can tell when it happens, because his whole body goes stiff. She fears he's going to start convulsing, the way he did in the hospital - the way she saw him do over a grainy video feed thirteen years earlier - but he doesn't.

"Spencer?" she says quietly, but he doesn't respond, and she starts the timer.

His eyes are open, and he stares straight ahead blankly. After a while he starts blinking rapidly, and before Penelope can remember whether that's normal, he stops. His eyes focus on her, and it's over. She's shocked when she checks the timer and finds it's only been one minute.

"Hey, boy genius, how're you doing?" she asks as he sits up, ruffling his hair with his hands.

"I'm okay," he says. "Thanks."

"How did you know it was coming?" she asks curiously.

He frowns. "I'm not sure," he says. "It just felt weird, I guess. And I remembered it from last time."

"Last time?" Penelope repeats. "You've had more than just this one since you got home?"

"A couple. After two, this far removed from the injury, they usually consider it to be post-traumatic epilepsy," Spencer tells her. "About half the time, it goes away spontaneously, so..." He crosses his fingers.

"Were the other ones like this?" Penelope asks, and Spencer nods.

"I haven't had a tonic-clonic seizure since I was in the hospital," he says. "But you never know when it'll happen. That's why I came and got you. Just in case."

"You can always come and get me," Penelope promises. "No matter where I am or what I'm doing. Say the word and I'll be there."

"You make me feel safe," Spencer says quietly. "You always have. Ever since the Fisher King case when I told you about my mom and you didn't treat me any differently. I'd never told anyone before, you know. And then when I woke up in the hospital last month, you and my mom were there by my bedside, and--" He breaks off with a small sob.

"I know," Penelope says gently, resting her head on his shoulder and rubbing his back. "I know."