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wildernessuntothemselves · 2 years ago

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You Are My Queen Now | Part 11

Word Count: 21k

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: highly inaccurate portrayal of a trial, mentions of candies that shouldn’t have existed back then, inaccurate portrayal of old dances, basically just think of this as occurring in a fantasy land lmao, hints at forced abortion, blowjobs, semi-public sex, riding/doggy/mating press, dry humping, orgasm denial, degradation, sub!gyu, dom!gyu, sub!oc, dom!oc, breeding kink, graphic-ish description of death, extremely unhealthy relationship dynamics, manipulative characters, mentions of and justifications of rape and blaming someone for their own rape, cheating, cumming in mouth, idk what else.

A/N: i recommend listening to the song gyu sings for oc at the end so here it is. Also as always this moodboard by my dear anon sets the mood for the story and helps you imagine it better.

Ryujin’s trial is a public and highly messy affair, held inside the city’s main temple in order to accommodate not only the nobility attending, but also a large number of common folk who flocked to see the spectacle that is the queen’s disgrace.

You know that Beomgyu orchestrated it this way so that he can deal maximum damage to Ryujin’s name and reputation by having the public directly witness her trial and the crimes she’s being accused of committing, but it’s also a huge risk to take on his part because it might inadvertently smear his own name in the public’s eye if she successfully defends herself.

Well, perhaps that’s not the appropriate expression. She will never be able to defend herself against the jury Beomgyu has picked out for her. They’re all his peers and loyal subjects. Their verdict is as good as decided already. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t sway the general public, no matter how unlikely it is, before she is to hang.

So why is he doing this? Why not go for a private trial?

You pull yourself out of your internal deliberation to watch Beomgyu herald the beginning of the trial from your seat, hidden away up on one of the balconies overlooking the scene below.

“My good people, we are gathered here today to unravel the schemes and betrayal that have been taking place in the palace behind your back. I know you've heard many rumors, some in my favor and some denouncing me, and they’re making you feel uneasy and unsafe. Vicious rumors that I killed my own family members, that I am a mad man, that we’re on the brink of war. I couldn’t reveal anything sooner as the picture wasn’t fully clear yet, even to me, but now the truth is finally out and I am ready to reveal it all to you. I now stand here before you, allowing you to witness the trial of my own wife so you can discern the truth from the wicked lies for yourself. I have nothing to hide and I place my trust fully in the hands of the judge, the high priest, my loyal citizens, and, above all, the gods, knowing that only the truth shall prevail."

You can see that the people present were already captivated by the charismatic and handsome young king. He has long been heralded for his kindness and generosity. Nothing bad was ever said about him amongst the people. On the contrary, unlike his private and reserved older brother, Beomgyu was always seen as the more approachable prince, the one with a heart of gold, and he was widely adored for it. Therefore it comes as no surprise that the common people were already on his side, quiet murmurs of approval and support already cutting through the silence that follows his grand opening.

Beomgyu then turns to the judge and bows to him. “Go on, good sir, please proceed.”

The judge reads out what Ryujin is being charged with to everyone in the courtroom–treason, adultery and murder. The case laid out against her is that she, along with her lover Lord Soobin, and with the help of her father and traitors from inside this very kingdom, conspired to kill the king and the crown prince in order to claim the throne for herself and the son she planned to have with Beomgyu before getting rid of him too by pinning his father’s and brother’s death on him, getting him executed and successfully ascending to the throne using his heir.

It’s almost exactly what she really did–except she had no role in the king’s and Yeonjun’s death– so it shouldn’t be too hard to pin the charges on her.

The crowd buzzes with excitement following the revelation, like a hornet’s nest alive with morbid curiosity, eager to devour the accused queen alive with their judgment as the scandalous trial unfolds. You suspect most of them don’t really care about the truth. They just want something juicy to latch onto and gossip about in order to entertain themselves and forget the misery of their own grim lives as they watch someone else’s misfortune play out. They don’t care about seeing Ryujin go down–she was never loved in the kingdom anyway, only seen as the foreigner wife to the kind king Beomgyu, and he made sure to keep it that way, probably so he can pull something like this off later if he needed to.

But Ryujin, of course, refuses to go down easily, and she contests her charges when she gets the chance to defend herself.

She takes the stand with her head held high, an aura of confidence about her that you personally admire, but suspect may work against her in the eyes of the unforgiving public who may only see it as arrogance that adds insult to injury from the treacherous and promiscuous wife of their beloved king.

"I didn’t kill the king or the crown prince. I never was unfaithful or treacherous towards my husband but he was. He is the one who did all the despicable things he’s accusing me of. He did it all and orchestrated this whole trial so he can get rid of me and be with her…”

The crowd breaks out in a heated discussion amongst themselves that only quiets down when the judge slams his hammer down to silence the ocean of murmurs, before he turns back to the queen.

“And who is she?” He asks the question that is on most people’s tongue.

Ryujin looks up into the balconies, and you cower in your seat even though you know she can’t possibly see you from down there. “The wife of lord Kang Taehyun."

The wife of lord Kang Taehyun, that's what you are, isn't it? You've promised yourself to him in front of gods and men and yet here you hide in Beomgyu's bed.

“Care to elaborate, my child.” The priest leans forward, appearing intrigued to hear what she has to say about the king’s alleged infidelity and familicide. But it’s all for show, you know he must already be in cohorts with Beomgyu.

Ryujin struggles to hold in her sneer but dares not speak personally against the man who holds the highest religious position in the kingdom, and therefore the public’s full support and respect, or the people will never listen to another word she says.

“He has been obsessed with her ever since they were children. He wanted to be with her but couldn’t because he was already betrothed to me and so he kept her locked up in the palace and kept any man from approaching her so that she would have no one but him and let him do whatever he wanted to her. And for years his plan worked, until lord Taehyun came along and took her from him. She fell for him and he helped her escape. That is why he killed his father and brother–because they wouldn’t help him get her back, and once they were gone, he started working on his plan to get rid of me and lord Taehyun so he could finally be with her. He poisoned me so I’d lose our child and he sent his own sister to lord Taehyun’s castle to threaten him to hand her over or he’ll wage war against him. That is how he got her back, but he was never planning on letting him or I live. He needs us gone so he can be with her.”

The loud exclamations that burst out from the crowd at Ryujin’s flagrant story sound purposeful this time, knowing, and you wonder why that is. You look to Wonyoung who is sitting right next to you for an explanation, and she leans in to whisper in your ear.

“Lord Taehyun has been going around telling people that Beomgyu stole you from him and is keeping you hostage at the palace because he’s obsessed with you and that’s why he killed father and brother.”

Oh.

So to everyone hearing this, it just seems like confirmation for what Taehyun has been saying. Though it's curious how she said that Taehyun claimed Beomgyu is keeping you hostage rather than you escaping. Is that to protect your reputation or to protect his?

Once again you wonder why Beomgyu is doing this. This isn’t looking good for him if both your husband and his wife are saying the same thing.

“But do not think that she is blameless. She encouraged his insanity from the start, reveled in it even. She wanted him too, but wasn’t content with just being his mistress. She wanted my place, wanted to be his wife, and I know she is here today to watch this farce of a trial so she can see me fall.”

Everyone starts looking for you, scouring the temple to try to find you, even if they didn’t even know what you looked like. And just as irrationally, you cower again, wanting nothing but to run away from all of this. You didn’t want this. It’s not true what she’s saying. Yes, you love Beomgyu with all your heart, but it was never your intention to hurt her or Taehyun.

Once again, the judge slams his hammer down, repeatedly this time, to get people to calm down.

“Enough!” He shouts loudly, finally getting people to keep quiet, before he turns to Beomgyu. "My king, do you have anything to say against these grave accusations?"

"These are nothing but vile lies that she and the traitor have cooked up. That lady she is so disgustingly slandering has been nothing but a close and loyal friend to my family, her only crime being that she's the one who unveiled their schemes." Beomgyu speaks to the crowd instead of the judge, addressing them with an even and strong aura, as if he couldn’t be more sure of a thing in his entire life, so confident that you almost believe him yourself. And the crowd in turn is hanging onto his every word with bated breath, as if following a particularly suspenseful play, and on his part, Beomgyu drums it up for them. “Yes, that’s right. The lady testified privately that she was forced to give secret details about the castle to her husband, lord Taehyun, and that he provided his own men to help Ryujin kill my father and brother, in exchange for marrying his younger brother to my precious little sister, Wonyoung. They wanted to get rid of us so they could rule the kingdom in our place.”

Beomgyu pauses in order for the crowd to digest his wild declarations. You don’t know who has a harder time receiving his claims–the crowd who are hearing these tales of betrayal and treason for the first time, or you who know they are highly embellished.

You feel a hand wrap around your own and you look to the side to see wonyoung giving you a warning look. You must’ve looked like you’re about to bolt from your seat and say something if her next words are any indication. "If you make a scene, if you say anything right now, you'll be putting his life in jeopardy."

So this is why he did it. He wanted to set not only Ryujin up, but also Taehyun, and he wanted to make you sit there and go along with it because he knew that if he gave you a head’s up, you could’ve thought about it enough and opposed him. But now you can’t even deny it without risking his life.

He is forcing you to go along with his loathsome plans, the fucking devil.

“Is it true that my sister went to his castle to take her friend back to the palace? Yes, but that was based on her request.”

Upon your request? You wanted to give your marriage a try! You were making progress with Taehyun before Beomgyu ruined everything! And now he’s standing in front of a crowd, brazenly claiming that it was your own idea and that Taehyun was the one who began this war?

You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry, but you can’t even do either. You have to bottle everything up so that you won’t give him away. He’s so fucking cruel to do this to you.

“She couldn’t just stand by and let that despicable man who calls himself her husband hurt us. She wanted to save us, and so she sent for us in secret, warning us of their dishonorable schemes and risking her life in the process in order to protect us. But we could have never let her take the fall for us, that is not how we repay loyalty in my family. We had to get her to safety, and so my dear sister so bravely volunteered to go right into the lion’s den and get her herself, and by the grace of the gods, they both returned to me safely. I don’t even want to imagine what he would’ve done to her had we not gotten her out of there in time, and I will not stand here and let this treacherous woman try to twist our friend’s courageous act into something so base and deplorable.” Beomgyu spits out, tugging on the heartstrings of those present with his false heroic tale about you.

“My good people, you know me and you know the man she is aligning herself with–a man who has long been suspected of murdering his own father. Only someone like him could think of such a diabolical story in which I kill my own family just to steal another man’s wife. Who would do that? I loved my father and brother so much. It would be cheap of me to stand here and try to sell you on my love for them and how much their deaths have devastated me and my dear sister and mother. Only the gods will know how I truly felt when I lost them.”

At this moment, he lets his voice waver strategically, making the crowd swoon over the strong but grieving young king so cruelly and falsely accused of the most heinous, outrageous crimes.

“Even our poor baby, she lies about–the child that never even saw the light of day, the one beautiful thing that came out of our loveless marriage. She accuses me of deliberately hurting it when it was the gods who saw fit to not have an innocent soul be born into such an ugly circumstance.”

“Don’t you dare stand there and try to deny it when you know you’re the one who killed our baby.” Ryujin growls at him.

And so, Beomgyu and Ryujin go back and forth, each giving their manipulated side of the story to try to sway the masses, but it's clear who the winner is.

Ryujin’s tale, although almost completely factual, sounds too fantastical to believe. The kind and handsome prince they all knew is secretly a psychopathic murderer who is so obsessed with a woman that he is willing to kill his own family and risk a civil war just so he could have her? It sounded too ridiculous to be true. It was far more likely that a foreign queen and a notoriously cruel lord conspired together to get rid of the royal family and rule in their place.

“I have heard enough.” The judge speaks up at length, silencing them both. “Do either of you have anyone who could corroborate your claims?”

“I do, good sir.”

Beomgyu brings out a few people to testify against his wife, most from his entourage, but a couple, surprisingly, from Ryujin’s own people. Beomgyu must’ve paid them a hefty price for their cooperation… or threatened them with severe punishment if they refused. Probably both.

They all gave condemning testimony, claiming to have either overhead or had direct conversations with the queen where she discussed her malicious plans.

Not a single person stood in her defense.

Still, none of it was shocking–Beomgyu’s money and influence can do the most egregious things–at least until you saw a certain someone take the stand.

“Identify yourself.” The judge orders the tall man.

“I am lord Soobin Choi, a member of Queen Ryujin’s guards…” He pauses for a second to look around the room nervously before he takes a shaky breath and continues, “And her secret lover and co-conspirator.”

It takes some time to quiet the room down after that.

Lord Soobin confirms all the accusations raised against the queen. He confesses to having had an affair with her and to scheming to murder the king and crown prince, and then blaming it on Beomgyu and getting him executed.

For the first time during the entirety of the trial, Ryujin seemed actually affected. She must’ve known Beomgyu would pin everything on her, known that he would rig the whole thing against her and call on false witnesses, but you suppose she hadn’t expected her own lover to testify against her. Soobin must’ve gotten a reduced sentence or even a pardon from Beomgyu for his role in this.

You recall Ryujin calling Soobin spineless, that he’s the type of man who would throw you away in order to preserve himself. She turned out to be right, didn’t she? So why did she look so hurt? She must’ve held more affection for him than even she thought she did after all.

Can you blame her? She had no one but him, and he’s sending her to the gallows to protect himself. You know what that’s like, trusting in the wrong man.

“There are no good men, darling. Only the lesser of two evils, and Beomgyu is that.”

That’s what she once said to you. At least Beomgyu is willing to put his life in danger in order to keep you safe, in order to give you what you want. Yes, he’s evil but he would burn this kingdom to the ground if it meant he could have you and protect you.

But will you let him? Will you allow him to kill the one man who gave you a chance at freedom when he didn’t have to just so you can get your happily ever after?

_______________________________________

“You set him up.” You scream at Beomgyu as soon as you’re finally back in your chambers and alone. You haven’t been able to talk to him all day as he’s been busy with the aftermath of the first day of Ryujin’s trial and you’ve been sitting, more or less, alone, stewing in your anger and bitterness, and not allowed to interact with anyone except Wonyoung so you wouldn’t say anything stupid. And even Wonyoung didn’t talk to you much. She just stayed vague and elusive, telling you to wait until you can talk to Beomgyu directly.

“I did what I had to do.” He says, pulling you back to the time he made that same excuse to justify taking you against your will. He is always saying that when he forces you to do something. He had to. Like he didn’t have any choice in it either, like you and him are in the same boat.

You scoff resentfully. “You were never planning on letting him stay alive.”

“Of course not,” He answers reflexively like he was waiting for the moment he could stop pretending, denial nowhere to be found as if you were stupid for believing it could go any other way. Yes, you were stupid. You came back thinking you could stop Taehyun from attacking Beomgyu. You pledged yourself to Beomgyu thinking you could stop him from setting Taehyun up.

Exactly, stupid.

“But neither did he. He’s been gathering his army from the moment you left. I warned him so many times to back down but he refused. He is the one who started this war. He’s been telling people that I kidnapped you, that I killed my father and brother to get you. He was never going to give up until one of us is dead.” Beomgyu gestures wildly, getting heated. “The question is, if one of us had to go down, which one would you rather it be?”

“Neither.” Your reply only irks Beomgyu more. “You can’t do that anymore! You have to make a choice. You can’t just stick your fingers in your ears and act like an oblivious child. It’s either me or him.”

“I don’t want either of you to get hurt.” You remain stubborn, elevating Beomgyu’s exasperation to new levels. “But one of us will. You realize that right? One of us isn’t going to come out of this alive.”

You tear up at the idea. You love them both and you don’t wish to see either of them get hurt. You’ve been doing everything available to you to prevent that from happening but they seem hellbent on killing each other.

“You have to choose, and don’t give me that fake sympathy shit. You want what I’m giving you. You want my love and my riches. That’s what you really came back for.” He accuses and you shake your head, crying. “You were fine letting me sacrifice her for you but now that it’s time for you to do the same, that’s it’s your bastard who has to go, now you’re upset, now you pretend that you care?”

"I do care!" You scream, “He doesn’t deserve this.”

Beomgyu doesn’t seem convinced by your answer. “Then why didn’t you speak up in court?” He asks and you freeze, which makes him laugh triumphantly, “Why didn’t you deny it, huh? You could’ve said something. You could’ve thrown out my whole case right then and there but you didn’t. Why didn’t–”

“To protect you!” You wail, hitting his chest, hot tears gushing down your face. “You knew I would never speak up against you, you bastard. That’s why you did it!”

Beomgyu allows himself to soften at that. “I wanted to protect you too. He doesn’t only want to kill me. He wants to kill you too.”

“You expect me to believe you after what you just did?”

“So don’t believe me.” He scoffs, pulling something out of his pocket and brandishing it in the air for you to see. “Believe him.”

He hands you what appears to be a letter and you shakily take it from his hand.

It’s from Taehyun. You know it is. Beomgyu must’ve gone back to his old ways and intercepted it. When did this even arrive? Are there more?

You open the letter with trembling fingers, reading its content with equally trembling eyes.

Are you having fun being his slut once again? I made something of you. I gave you the chance to be more than just his whore and yet you go falling back into his bed the first night you get back?

Fuck, you’re such an idiot.

You’ve been so preoccupied with your obsession with reclaiming Beomgyu’s love that you didn’t realize that Taehyun would have people in the palace monitoring what you’re doing and relaying it back to him. You didn’t think about how terribly he would take it, especially knowing him and his moral code. It’s the ultimate affront against him–lying with another man. That alone could make him go to war. You’re so fucking stupid.

Even worse, you guiltily realize that you haven’t thought about him much since Beomgyu started paying attention to you again. Beomgyu was occupying your every waking moment, barely leaving you alone, and even when you were asleep, he was right there with his arms around you every single night. He simply didn’t allow any space for you to think about anyone else, and you just let him–craved it even.

God, and to think Taehyun saw how weak you are for Beomgyu.

I was such a fool to believe in you. My brother tells me you've been fucking him long before his wedding night. If you've been selling him your body all this time, how can you not expect him to treat you like his property? Why did you even drag me into this if you were already his? Why did you lie to me and pretend that it was all forced and that you didn't intentionally sully yourself? Did you think that just because you didn't let him fuck you that that's somehow better, when you let him do everything else to you? No, you must’ve known it's the same, that's why you didn’t tell me.

His words lash at you, breaking away the dirty skin to expose you for the harlot you are.

You feel so depraved, vile, detestable. You whored yourself out to Beomgyu so you can get the material things you wanted, and yet you unrepentantly hoped you could still manage to land a good, reliable husband who could afford you those same things you coveted. How long would it have taken for Taehyun to find out the truth? Would he have discarded you after finding out you were all used up?

You’re really only fit to be a whore, only fit to belong to someone as fucked up as Beomgyu. You were just too stubborn to admit it earlier even though everyone else saw you for what you really are.

You talked a big game about wanting more, craving to be in charge of your life, and yet when I gave you that, you just ran back to him. Why?

Truth is, you didn’t realize what you were asking for when you did this. Taehyun had warned you. Beomgyu had warned you. They all did. They told you that these things aren’t what they seem, but you were too stubborn. Or perhaps you thought too highly of yourself. You sought to distance yourself from the rest of the ladies by convincing yourself that you’re different from them, stronger and more resilient, but the truth is you only did that because they didn’t accept you.

Was it to protect me? Or was it because you've been lying to yourself all this time? Was your love for me fake? My people tell me that you look happy now. They say you’re glowing again. Again… as if I dimmed your shine. Is that what you really wanted after all? Money? Luxury? An easy life?

He’s right, isn’t he? Despite your best intentions, in the end you brought him into this mess just to go back to Beomgyu. But you swear you didn’t know that all of this would happen. You really wanted a new life. You thought things could be different if you were away from Beomgyu, that the real version of yourself–the one you saw in your mind–was different from what everyone else saw you as, different from how Beomgyu saw you, and that if you were given space and freedom to grow, you could become that person. You didn’t know that Beomgyu would go this far. You didn’t know that you were a fraud.

But what good are your excuses now? You brought down Beomgyu’s wrath on him and now he’s stuck. He can’t back down and Beomgyu isn’t going to let him.

I’m so fucking angry with you. You’re my wife and the fact that you’re letting him use you again when you now rightfully belong to me makes my blood boil.

Or maybe I just can’t stand the fact that I bore myself to you. I showed you the most vulnerable parts of me that you promised you would embrace, but when you saw them, you turned away.

Am I that ugly to you, angel, that you would run back to him to get away from me?

No! You want to tell him. You loved him. You love him. You may have acted selfishly during your goodbye. You may continue to act selfishly now. You may be disgracefully enjoying the perks of Beomgyu’s doting ways and the leisure of palace life, but none of these are the reasons why you left. You left because you really, truly thought it would stop the war. You left to protect him.

And to protect Beomgyu.

I want to believe that you have a higher purpose in all of this, otherwise I could not bear to look at myself again. Otherwise I might have to hurt you.

I wish I never met you, but I’m too intertwined in you to let go now.

That sentence, more than anything else, is a stab in the gut for you. You cry freely at those words. It’s one thing to be hurt by someone, but to wish you never even met them? The person you promised yourself to in marriage? That requires a level of anguish and hatred that can’t be contained, so much so that you seek to distance yourself from them even in memories, even in reality itself.

You're my wife. You're mine before gods and men, and I will have you back. You can't just run away each time you feel like you can't deal with the consequences of your actions.

I'm gathering troops and supporters right now as you might've heard. Or maybe you didn't. He likes to keep you in the dark, doesn't he? Well, I'm coming for you, angel, and you better have a good explanation for what you've done.

The trembling in your hands spreads to your whole body at the clear threat. What will he do with you if he catches you? Who will get the worst fate, you or Beomgyu?

Well there you go, Kai. You didn’t mess up too badly after all. Taehyun still thinks you left for Beomgyu and yet he still won't back down. If anything, it seems to spur him to retaliate more.

This has turned into such a mess.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let him touch a hair on your head.” Beomgyu embraces you and kisses your head lovingly. You jump in his arms. For a moment, you’d forgotten that he was even there.

“Please.” You sob weakly, barely audible so that Beomgyu has to get close to you so he can hear you. “You have to stop this war, please.”

“I can’t. It's too late now.” He shakes his head, and vows, “But I can protect you and I will. This is for the best anyway. We can’t be together fully until they both die. I want to marry you, baby, just like you wanted. And I can't do that if either of them is alive.”

So this is why he’s doing it. He wants to get them both out of the way so you and him can get married.

It’s funny how a year ago you would’ve been over the moon that he’s trying so hard to find a way for you to be together, but now that your wish has come true, you’re filled with nothing but dread for the people who have to die in order for that to happen. The gods really do love their cruel games.

"I know you’re sad now but when you can finally be my queen, you'll get over it."

You feel nauseous. Is that what he thinks of you? That you’d gladly let Taehyun die just so you can be the queen? Is it? Is that what you are?

At your silence, Beomgyu scoffs in disbelief. "You’re still worried for him? After what I just showed you? He wants you dead!"

"Yes." You meet his question with stubbornness yet again. "We fucked him up enough already. We did this to him."

Beomgyu laughs cruelly. "No, princess, you fucked him up. You’re the one who brought him into this mess. And you’re the one who made the poor bastard actually believe you could love him too, from the looks of it."

"I do love him." You insist in a small voice and Beomgyu crowds you, furious that you would dare say that in front of his face. "You don’t. And you're not his either. He is right about one thing though. You should have never involved him in our business. Now look at the mess you made." He holds your face, not letting you look away from the truth. "Angel? He got you all wrong, baby. You’re no angel. That was my mistake once, and now it will be his death."

You try to shake your head. No, you’re not like that. You’re not a monster. You care about Taehyun. You do!

But Beomgyu holds your face in place, his fingers digging into your cheek painfully. “Stop denying it. I know you don’t really care about him.”

“I do." You growl. "I love him!"

Beomgyu attacks your lips with his own. It would be wrong to call it a kiss–a kiss isn’t this angry or possessive or vengeful. It’s so overwhelming that you can do nothing but let him take what he wants, grabbing your chin and opening your mouth up to push his tongue inside.

God, you hate him so much. He did this just to force you to choose. He revealed his betrayal in the trial just to force you to sit there and take it. He’s playing on your feelings and your love for him to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. He’s diabolical and he’s not going to stop until he accomplishes all his sordid plans.

You have to do something or you’ll really be just as terrible as he is. You have to stop him somehow, and you may just have one trick up your sleeve that you had prepared exactly for a moment like this.

“Good girl. Don’t think too hard. Just sit back and let me give you what you really want.” Beomgyu pushes you towards the bed and you know what he wants. Your menses has come and gone already. He wants to fuck you and, prior to today, that's all you wanted to do as well but now you just want to make him hurt.

You gather your strength and turn the both of you around, pushing him onto the bed instead. But Beomgyu doesn’t think anything of it, grinning up at you. “Oh, you want to take control? I have to admit, I missed it.” He babbles excitedly as you straddle him. "Going to fuck me, baby? Going to finally take what's yours?"

You slap him, shocking him into silence.

“Shut the fuck up, Beomgyu. I fucking hate you so much.” You wrap your hand around his neck tightly, making it hard for him to breathe but he doesn’t fight you off, he just lays still and grins up at you.

“I love you.” He utters gleefully, bucking his hips up against you, making you feel his erection.

“You’re fucking sick.” You spit at him.

“If I am sick then you must be too for wanting me.”

That’s just what Taehyun said. You’re not comfortable with how aware Beomgyu is of how much you love him and how far you’ll let him go. Maybe if he thought he could actually face any lasting consequences for his actions, he may rethink them. But what have you done to oppose him that he wasn’t able to eventually turn around? Time and time again you fall right into his arms in the end, and everything just goes his way as always.

Angry and feeling helpless, you slap him across the face again but, vexingly, he doesn’t lose a single inch of his grin.

“You’re making me so hard, baby.”

"You like getting beaten up?" You mutter in disgust as if his eager reactions aren’t making you soaking wet. You really are the perfect pair–sick and rotten to the core.

"I like anything you do to me."

There it was again, that blind and stupid devotion, that need that you crave. But it doesn’t mean that you can't dwell on it while still punishing him.

You remove your grip from around his neck and lean down to kiss the sensitive skin there instead. He cranes his head back to give you more space. "What do you want?" You purr to him between your kisses.

"Want you to--ahh–" Beomgyu starts but moans out when you bite his neck. "No biting, baby. If I appear in court with marks it's going to look really bad for us."

"Yeah? Afraid they're going to know that you really killed your family and set up your wife just for my pussy?"

"Yes, princess." He admits with not an ounce of guilt in his voice, and bucks harder against you.

You move onto his legs so you can free his cock, wrapping your hand around it and delighting in how he melts into your touch after months of him pulling away.

"Fuck yeah." He grunts excitedly, his pupils dilated as he focuses on your every movement.

This is the Beomgyu you know, horny and shameless. You have no idea how he managed to hold back for so long. He must’ve really resented the idea that you could be carrying Taehyun's baby to the point that he went against his nature and needs for three whole months even as you writhed and begged under his hands.

Well, you'll take full advantage of his unleashed eagerness.

You bend forward, letting a trial of your spit drool from your mouth down to his cock, and watch as his mouth hangs open in a silent gasp when it touches his dick. He can’t help but thrust up into your lubricated fist when you use the saliva to jerk him off, his thigh moving between your legs in the process and rubbing against your pussy.

“That feels good, puppy?” You moan, opening your legs wide so you can better grind on him.

“Y-yeah.. Been holding off for too long.” He laments, eyebrows furrowed as he focuses on your delicate hand fisting his big, hard cock.

“Was it hard, baby?” You drawl suggestively, rocking your pussy over his thigh as your hand pumps up and down his cock.

“So hard…” Fuck he looks so pathetic, it’s making you practically leak through your clothes and onto him.

He’s so dumb, he doesn’t even realize that something is off, too focused on his dick and the fact that you’re finally touching it. And to think that he’s the one who did this to himself when you’ve been throwing yourself at him for months.

“Poor puppy.” You pout, purposefully pulling your hand up to your mouth, directing his attention to it. He watches, slack jawed, as you slowly lick a wide stripe along the palm of it before putting it back on his cock and twisting it over the head.

"Tell me what do you want?" You prompt and he answers mindlessly, still staring at your wet lips. "Want you to suck me off."

"Oh, that's right. I never sucked you off, huh, puppy?” You coo sympathetically, lulling him into a false sense of security as if you weren’t baiting him for exactly this. “You know who I blew all the time though? Taehyun." You taunt him and his smug look finally falls. His eyes flash dangerously but you don’t back down. "You used to beg me to do it so much and I never did, but I was the one begging him to make me swallow his cock."

"Shut up." He warns darkly.

"I did it so many times, I can still taste his cock at the back of my th–"

Beomgyu jolts up and grabs you by the jaw. "Shut. Up."

"What are you going to do, Beomgyu? Rape me again?"

He immediately takes his hand off. "No. I would never–"

"Would never take me against my will? Because you've never done it before, right? Never betrayed me? Never lied to me? Never hurt me?" You scoff and push him back down.

"I deserve that. I hurt you and I deserve to be hurt." He whimpers, struggling to gather his words as you seat yourself over his cock. "But I don't want to hurt you anymore. I just want the world to let us be together. Don't you want that too?"

You ignore him, your jaw set as you start grinding your pussy over his cock, and continue to rile him up. "He tasted so good, you know?"

Tears build up in his eyes as he's forced to lie down and listen to what you’re saying.

"Your little princess let him use my mouth like a pussy, fucking my face until he came and made me swallow." You hum salaciously, teasingly humping his cock. And the most fucked up thing is that neither one of you is losing your arousal.

"I know you're lying." He challenges your claims, but his voice wavers and you can see the way his eyes glisten with unshed tears.

Yes, you're embellishing a lot just to hurt him more, but that doesn’t matter. He deserves it.

"This is why you're doing this, isn't it? You can't stand the fact that he touched what's yours and so you want to remove him from existence.” You confront him, “Well, you can kill him but you'll never erase what I let him do to me."

“Stop it, please.” He whines as if he’s the victim here, as if he’s helpless in all of this, as if he didn’t plan this whole thing meticulously. It pisses you off. "Why are you saying these awful things? What do you want?"

“I want to see him.”

His eyes storm over but he remains in place. "Never."

"Let me see him and I'll let you have me exactly the way you want."

He shakes his head firmly. "I'll let you see his severed head when I bring it home to you."

You slap him again, his face now red from the hits, and the first trail of tears breaks free from his lashes.

You grab his cock and use the head of it to rub your clit, making him let out little stuttered gasps. “You like this, don’t you, you little pervert? Like watching me use you to get off?”

Sliding his cock along your slit, you dip the head of it into your hole slightly every once in a while, making him lose his mind. His hips tremble but he doesn’t dare push up. “Please.”

“Take me to him and I’ll let you fuck me. I won’t say no to you again.”

His hands slide up your thighs to your hips. “That's what you said before.”

“You lied to me before. You hurt him again.”

“And I’ll hurt him again and again, what’s different this time?”

“This time I know that you’re a liar.” You sneer, “I just want to see him one more time. One more time and I’ll be completely yours.”

He pauses in contemplation, then says, “There is something you’re not telling me. Why do you really want to see him?”

You snort, trying to hide how sweaty and nervous you are right now. “Just like you always are? You don’t need to trust me, you just need to do it, and you’ll get everything you want. I’ll let you do anything to me.” You take the head of his cock inside your pussy, almost making him go cross-eyed, before taking it out.

“Will you let me put a baby in you?” He sucks in a sharp breath.

“Whatever you want.”

“Will you testify against him in front of everyone?”

You freeze.

He doesn’t need you to testify against Taehyun for Ryujin to be convicted. He just wants to make Taehyun look worse in front of the public, and most importantly, he wants Taehyun to turn on you completely so you can’t possibly ever go back to him.

It doesn't matter, with what you have in mind, you won’t be able to anyway. For once in your life you need to not be selfish.

“I will.” You grit out. “Just let me see him.”

You can still see the hesitation on his face but the prospect of what he has to gain if he follows along seems too great for him to refuse. “Fine.”

You don’t let him think about it long. “Good boy.” You praise. “I love you so much.”

The words flow from your mouth and seep into his body like a drug, making his muscles relax and his eyelids flutter down. “I love you too.”

“Don’t cum, okay?” You tell him, moving over his dick once again. You should at least get your relief. You deserve it.

"But I need it." He groans, his hands moving up your body to grab at your tits. You arch into his touch, reaching a hand behind you to grab his balls. "You do, don't you? You’re so full. You must be dying to empty yourself inside me."

He nods pathetically, playing with your tits as he buck up into you hard. "Please, please. Just put it in."

��No. You had many chances to fuck me, made me fucking beg you to do it and still you refused.” You growl at the whimpering man.

“You were being punished.”

“And now so are you. You know, I still can’t believe you actually pulled it off. Knowing you, I expected you to break just a week in. Who knew a sick pervert like you could actually hold himself back.” You demean him. “Tell me, were you getting your rocks off somewhere else?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head harshly at your implication. “No!”

“Why not? It’s not like you never did it before.” You spit out in jealousy, referring to him sleeping with Ryujin.

His jaw tightens. “Did you expect me to just content myself with humping your pillows while you’re out there getting fucked by him?”

His tone was dark and husky, defensive and angry, but you disregard it completely, choosing to focus on what he unintentionally revealed. “Humping my pillows? Is that something you used to do?”

His cheeks bloom with a vivid red, only realizing what he’d said when you called him out on it.

You laugh cruelly. “Fuck, you really used to hump my pillows, didn’t you, you little pervert.”

“I couldn’t help it!” He groans, looking away. “You just made me so needy. I would get hard just by being near you, just by smelling your hair or feeling you touch my hand… you drove me wild with just an innocent look so I-I…”

“You what?” You press again, wanting to hear him say it, and he squeezes his eyes shut even if he wasn’t looking at you.

"I… I would sometimes take one of your dresses, lay it on a pillow and grind against it imagining I was fucking you until I came."

“Is that why my dresses used to go missing all the time, only to show up mysteriously later with weird stains on them?” You gasp and Beomgyu winces. "You used them to get off? That’s disgusting.”

"As if you didn’t play with your pussy thinking of me.” He shoots back defiantly and you slap him.

“Why am I even surprised anymore? You've always violated me and my trust. I thought you were just protecting me when in reality you were lusting after me like a dog. Of course you couldn't trust anyone when you knew there were men out there like you." You scoff, indignation and arousal fighting to take the reins, and you grab his hands and put them on your ass. “Come on then, grind against me like you loved to do so much, you disgusting horny mutt.”

He whimpers but obeys, eagerly humping you.

"Pathetic." You sneer, trying not to let your eyes roll to the back of your skull as his cock keeps rubbing against your clit.

He's so pretty like this, completely debasing himself just for you. He's not hiding even his most twisted desires from you and he eagerly seeks to hear yours. It's safe letting the ugly side of you out in front of him. He'll lap it up and beg for more.

God, you want him more than anything in this world. You want his love and his sickness. No one could make you feel as wanted as he does, and you covet that despite how destructive it is. This is why you must do something before he has you spiraling out of control.

"Open your mouth, tongue out." You demand and he does, looking entirely too obscene. If someone would walk in on you now, they’d be shocked to see the way the king is acting for you. He’ll do anything for you. You’re struck by how powerful it makes you feel, more powerful than you ever felt with Taehyun. It's enthralling, exhilarating, addictive.

You spit in his mouth. "Swallow."

He does without question, his eyes darkening even more and growing more hazy, and you sneer down at him cruelly. “You’re just a dumb dog, aren’t you?”

“I’m whatever you want me to be, princess.” He proclaims earnestly. “Please, I’m so close.”

"Don't you dare cum." You warn him. "You haven't earned it yet."

"I'm trying to. Please, I'm trying so hard." He cries, his movements growing desperate as his hips snap under you. You look down to see his dick gliding easy between your slick lips, the top part of it red and leaking.

You dig your fingers into his shoulder and arch your back as you look back up at him. You’re so fucking close. “Don’t fucking cum, Beomgyu.”

"Please, pl-ah-ease!" He whines deliriously, tears clinging to his pretty lashes once again.

"No." You snarl one last time before the pleasure explodes to your entire body, making you gasp as you tremble over him, your pussy drenching his cock that still tries to rut against you.

He whines as you peel his hands off you and pull away from his twitching cock.

"Please… please." He hiccups pathetically but you don't soften, grabbing his cock and stuffing it back in his pants, wet and still painfully hard.

“No, please fuck me.” He begs breathlessly.

You shake your head. “When you keep your promise. I'll let you fuck me to your heart's content once you give me what I want.”

He sobs but doesn't make any move to disobey you, only wrapping his arms around you and clinging to you when you lay down next to him.

“I love you.” He says helplessly, looking at you like you hold his life in your hand. "I'll do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"I know, darling."

I know you’ll do anything to have me. I know you’ll do anything except let me go.

_______________________

The meeting is set up at the mansion of Lord Seojun, a well-respected and trusted lord who currently isn’t partial to neither Beomgyu nor Taehyun. His estate is the perfect neutral zone to have this meeting.

The way there was tense. Beomgyu kept trying to coax the real reason you want to meet Taehyun out of you or trying to discourage you from going on with the meeting all-together, telling you it isn’t too late to get back to the safety of the castle.

It stressed you out. You were already nervous enough about facing your estranged husband following the harsh letter he sent you and the accusations swirling around. You didn’t need pressure from Beomgyu too–who, as you got closer and closer to the meeting place, inched closer and closer towards you in the carriage until he had you practically seated on his lap.

You let him do what he wants, there was no one else inside with you and it seemed to calm his fidgeting slightly. But when his hands started wandering and his mouth began laying kisses and bites on your neck, you had to get off him.

“No, Beomgyu.” You refuse him sternly. You appearing at the meeting place disheveled and covering in love bites will just make things ten times worse, whether from Taehyun who won’t take kindly to his wife showing up covered in the evidence of her lover, or lord Seojun who might just change his stance upon taking a look at you like that. “Calm down.”

“You didn’t tell him no when you let him fuck your mouth.” He bites at you and you know he’s been pissed about it ever since you’ve told him. “I want it too. I want you to go into that meeting with the taste of my cock on your tongue. Only then will I calm the fuck down.”

You scoff at him. Men and their fragile egos.

You weigh your options. It’s your reflexive reaction to deny him. This is neither the time nor the place for this. You should be focused on what you’re going to say to Taehyun and how you’re going to say it to him without Beomgyu listening in. But in order to do that, you have to make Beomgyu feel more at ease, like there is nothing for him to worry about. If you give him what he wants and make him feel less jealous, it would lessen the chance of him doing something stupid when he sees Taehyun.

Reluctantly, you get on your knees and he eagerly spreads his legs for you to sit between them. You pause when your hands are on his pants. “You’ll behave once we get there?”

“Yes.” He answers breathlessly but it doesn’t even look like he heard what you said, too focused on your hands that unfasten his pants and pull out his cock.

You open your mouth, your tongue prodding out to lick the head of his cock meekly. He’s bigger than Taehyun, and you don’t know how you’re going to take him in. Besides, the way he was sitting above you, emanating power, his face clearly showing how much he wants to eat you up, was intimidating.

But Beomgyu doesn’t appreciate your hesitance, and he grabs you by the hair. “Don’t tease.”

He is not going to be kind about this. He must’ve been stewing in rage ever since you provoked him about sucking Taehyun’s dick.

You stare up at him demurely as you open your mouth, allowing him to slip his length inside. You do your best to suck on him but the problem soon becomes clear once he pushes your head down and his dick hits the back of your throat, making you gag and pull away.

He looks at you in confusion. "I thought you said he trained your mouth."

You scowl at him. “He didn’t train me. Unlike you, he didn’t treat me like a whore.”

“No? His letter seemed to say otherwise.” Beomgyu cocks his head to the side, clearly goading you. “Besides, I want to make you a queen. You’re the one who wants to remain a whore.”

God, you want to slap him again, but you don’t. He’s just trying to get back at you because he’s jealous. You can shut him up another way more effectively and without sabotaging your mission. Leaning forward, you take his cock in your mouth again, taking in bit by bit and doing your best not to overwhelm yourself.

You try to wrap your hands around the parts you can’t take but Beomgyu grabs them and holds them in the air above your head. "No. Just your mouth."

You make a sound of annoyance but that only makes Beomgyu shiver in pleasure and buck his hips up, enjoying the way the vibrations felt on his cock. “Take more. Wanna see my cock stuffed all the way down your pretty throat.”

How the hell you’re going to do that you don’t know, but you’re eager to not just shut him up, but to also have him turn into the needy, pathetic version of himself you so adore, and so you take in more and more of his length, bopping your head down until you feel him again at the back of your throat. This time you’re prepared for it, however, and you manage to shove in more than the last time. You even start to think that you might actually succeed in taking him but then his hips abruptly buck up and you gag once more.

You pull away, coughing and trying to clear your throat.

“What is it, baby? Can’t take me?” Beomgyu asks with faux sympathy, keeping your wrists locked in one hand while using the other to stroke your hair. "Either you were lying about blowing him or he just wasn't big enough."

“Don’t be crude, Beomgyu.” You glare at him and he grins widely. “So I am bigger than him, huh?”

You try to get up but he uses his hold on you to keep you down. “No. Stay down.” He growls, pushing you back on your ass. He sighs and runs his thumb over your already inflamed lips. “I’ll teach you how to take my cock. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do anyway.”

“Was that another one of your perverted fantasies?” You snark, but it doesn’t work because Beomgyu isn’t the least bit ashamed about it, and he turns it on you. “Of course, princess, always knew you’d look prettiest with your lips wrapped around my cock.”

You try to fight off your blush but you can still feel the heat creeping up on your cheek. Beomgyu coos and taps your lips with his cock. “Come on, open up.”

You give him a small pout but relent, allowing him to push the first part of his dick inside. He’s much softer now that you’ve unintentionally stroked his ego.

“That’s good. You’re doing good.” He encourages you, pupils dilated at the salacious sight in front of him. “Why don’t you move your tongue a little bit, yeah? Swirl it around the head like it's one of those candies you like to suck on so much…yeah like that, you little tease.” He moans out, making you blush even more.

Is that another way you had unintentionally riled him up? Fuck, is that why he would always bring you those exotice sweets from faraway lands and handfeed them to you? That nasty pervert.

“Now take a little bit more. Open wide and push your tongue down so my cock can fit in your little mouth. Good princess.” He praises you, forcing more of his cock inside until it reaches your throat. “Now try to relax your throat, don’t fight it–no, don’t pull back. You can do it. It’s okay, princess.”

He doesn’t push you too much but he doesn’t let you pull back either, keeping one hand at the back of your head and letting his cock breach your throat before pulling it out and pushing in again, getting you used to the sensation.

“Fuck, you’re doing so good for me. You’re my perfect princess.” He grunts, wrapping the loose ends of your hair that is starting to unravel around his fist in order to better control your movements. “Now take in a little bit more–it’s okay, baby. You can do it.”

You start whining when the sensation becomes uncomfortable again and you feel yourself gagging around him, but he doesn’t let you go, keeping your head on his cock and forcing you to become acquainted with the uncomfortable feeling. "Stay. I was so good to you these past few months, eating you out and fingering you till you screamed. It's time you return the favor. Make your king feel good, my little brat."

Only when your hands come up to grab at his thighs does he finally let you go.

You sputter and cough, trying to clear your throat before you shoot him a glare. “You were choking me.”

“That’s just how you do it properly, princess.” He explains innocently, and you almost believe his good intentions if not for what he says next. “Besides, didn’t you say you’re used to choking on his cock. Or were you lying just to make me jealous?”

You don’t give him an answer and he scoffs. “Such a brat.”

He pulls your head back to his cock and pushes in more easily this time, quickly going back to where he was. “Breathe through your nose. Don’t try to fight it.” He instructs firmly, “Open your mouth wider, princess, and relax your throat.”

He presses your head down more, and your throat burns as it’s forced to take in his thick length.

“Good girl.” Beomgyu groans, voice starting to get tight. “You’re making me feel so good.”

He moves you up and down on his length and you do your best to breathe through your nose and fight back the gagging, but it seems like the less you gag, the more he pushes forward. He would make you take more of him until your throat is fluttering around his cock, then he’d pause with his cock buried there as you gag around him. “Baby, you don’t know how amazing this feels. It’s better than I even imagined it would be.”

You whine in embarrassment as the coughing and gagging has you unintentionally slobbering around him, making a mess that dribbles down your chin and onto his pants, but when he lets you off his dick and you go to wipe your chin off, he stops you. “Don’t. I like seeing you like this, love knowing I’m the one to ruin my perfect princess.” He purrs, pulling your head closer to his cock again all too soon, prompting you to keep going.

He bops your head up and down, moving you to his own pace, and you try to put every bit of advice he gave you to good use so you wouldn’t choke. Soon, even more spit and precum dribble out of your mouth, making an absolute mess of you and him, but Beomgyu just loves it.

"Look at me, princess." He whines and you blink the tears away to try to focus on him but it doesn’t matter. He just wants your eyes on him while he fucks your face.

"Going to cum. Keep it in your mouth." He orders, pulling his dick out until your lips are wrapped around the tip only, and he uses his hand to jerk himself off. His cock twitches and you feel his hot seed sputtering in your mouth, urging you to swallow but you obediently keep it there.

Once he's done, he pulls his cock the rest of the way out. "Stick your tongue out. Show me."

You do, and he watches in rapture as some of his seed drips from your tongue onto the carriage floor. He will never get tired of seeing his cum in or on you, will he?

When you see his spent cock twitch, you quickly pull your tongue back inside and swallow, not wanting him to get hard again, snapping Beomgyu out of his trance.

"Why did you do that?" He asks irritably, clearly upset at you for interrupting his view.

You roll your eyes, getting up. "I'm not going to get you off again."

You clean the both of you up as much as you can before putting your hair together in what you hope resembles a proper enough hairdo.

You keep him at bay the rest of the way there and before you finally exit the carriage, you turn to him, “For god’s sake Beomgyu, please behave in front of everyone.”

Beomgyu’s scowl tells you that he doesn’t exactly appreciate your demand, but before he can say anything, you’re getting out of the carriage.

______________________________

Every step you take towards the main hall, where you’re informed Taehyun and lord Seojun are already waiting for you, feels like walking towards your own doom, and maybe it is. Beomgyu’s words start playing between your ears, getting louder and louder with every step.

It’s not too late to turn back. Let’s just go home and forget all about this, hide beneath the covers and stay safe in each other’s arms. You don’t need to do whatever it is you think you need to do. I’ll–

Before you know it, you’re standing in front of the heavy, ornate doors.

Beomgyu says something to you, but you can’t really hear him because of the ringing in your ears. So you look at him, seeing the pleading expression on his face and how his hand is reaching out towards you.

You don’t need to do this.

But before you can reach out to take his hand, the doors open and you snap your head around to look inside, your frightened eyes somehow managing to find Taehyun’s own mismatched ones as if his one black eye was a magnet.

You stand rooted in place, breath caught in your lungs and heart skipping a few beats.

Taehyun’s expression doesn’t give away much, leaving you to imagine the worst. From his letter you know he’s feeling angry, betrayed, vengeful. He probably wants nothing but to have you shackled up and shipped back to his castle to answer for what you did to him.

“My king.” You hear someone call out. It’s probably lord Seojun, but you don’t dare tear your eyes away from Taehyun’s to confirm.

It’s only when you feel someone’s hand on your lower back, immediately shifting Taehyun’s gaze from yours down to the person who dared touch you, can you break the spell and finally look away from him, turning your attention to the same person who touched you.

“We can still leave.” Beomgyu whispers to you and you shake your head. “Why are you being stubborn? Look at you. You’re trembling, baby.”

He moves to take you in his arms but you quickly step away, throwing a nervous glance at Taehyun who seemed to be emanating a cold fury at what he’s witnessing. Yes, he was perfectly aware of what was happening back at the palace, but to have to stand here and see it for himself is probably too much to take, and you don’t want to enrage him any further. You want this meeting to go as quickly and with as little bloodshed as possible.

“Don’t, Beomgyu, please. Let me just get this over with.”

“Are you done?” Taehyun growls out, and you can feel the heat of his rage from all the way over here. “Or did you call this meeting just to make me watch this nauseating scene?”

“Believe me, I don’t want to see your ugly face as much as you don’t want to see me. I’m only doing this for her. I would have been perfectly fine only seeing you when they dragged your dead body before me after your defeat.” Beomgyu speaks arrogantly and Taehyun laughs. “You think you can beat me? You? The frail Choi son who couldn’t once best his older brother except when he cravenly slit his throat while he slept?”

Beomgyu’s haughty smile falls and his muscles lock up as he prepares to lunge at Taehyun but you quickly hold him back. “Stop it, Beomgyu! Both of you, stop it!”

Taehyun regards you callously, his one good eye just as cold as his false one. “You may boss that maniac around but you do not give me orders, woman.”

Woman? He’s speaking to you as if you were a stranger, as if you mean nothing to him. You suppose it’s better than what he probably would rather call you, what everyone else calls you.

“Don’t talk to her that way.” Beomgyu snarls but you hold onto him tightly.

“Beomgyu, stay. Let me talk to him alone.” You whisper to him but he shakes his head. “No.”

You lean closer to him so only he can hear you. “Come on, Beomgyu, we had a deal. Anything you want after, just let me talk to him.”

He throws a hateful look towards Taehyun, obviously not happy with what’s happening, before he looks back at you and pulls you into a sudden kiss. Your hands shoot up to his chest, trying to push him away but his own hands hold onto you, one grabbing the back of your head and the other squeezing your ass.

“My lord, this is not proper.” Lord Seojun’s reprimand makes you flush with humiliation, reminding you that you have more than one witness to Beomgyu’s mortifying display of ownership over you.

“I can still taste my cock on your tongue, princess.” Beomgyu says loudly enough for Taehyun to hear before finally letting you pull away, ignoring your incensed look in favor of smirking at Taehyun. You follow his gaze to find that Taehyun looks to be seconds away from exploding.

For Beomgyu, it was not enough to have you back, to have you promise to give yourself to him completely. No, he wants Taehyun to see how he has desecrated you. He wants him to know that your ruins belong completely to him.

“Fucking stay here.” You grit out at Beomgyu, your outrage giving you the strength you need to make your way towards Taehyun without trembling anymore.

“Is this what you left me for? Just to go back to being treated like a piece of meat?” Taehyun denounces in disgust once you’re standing in front of him.

“It’s not like that–”

“Is it not?” He snaps, cutting you off.

“No, it’s not. She’s going to be my queen.” Beomgyu interjects and you whirl your head back to yell at him. “Shut up, Beomgyu.” You hiss, throwing a pointed glance at Lord Seojun, goosebumps rising at the back of your neck as Taehyun laughs.

“Yeah, that is why you’ve set up your wife and are now trying to kill me, isn’t it?”

Beomgyu attempts to open his mouth again to argue but you send him a withering glare that finally shuts him up.

“This is not the time for your bickering. We’re here for a reason.”

“And what is that reason?” Taehyun asks you hatefully.

You grind your teeth and curl your hands into fists, trying to muster up more strength so you wouldn’t crumble in front of him. “I have something to tell you. Hear me out then you won’t have to see my face again.”

“It’s not about what you or I want. It’s about what should be done and that is that you should come back with me.”

You sigh. Typical Taehyun. “Just hear me out, okay?”

He bites his tongue and thankfully goes quiet, allowing you to lean close to him to whisper something in his ear.

“What are you doing?” You hear Beomgyu yell but luckily what you have to tell Taehyun doesn’t take long and soon enough you’re pulling away.

Taehyun has a shocked look on his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting what you just said.

“Do with that as you may.” You say defeatedly.

“Why are you telling me this?” He narrows his eyes, shock and disbelief still prominent in his expression and you shrug weakly.

“You’re right about what you said to me in your letter. I should have never involved you in any of this. He is my curse to bear and I was selfish for sharing him with the world.” You whisper to him quietly, simply. You can’t elaborate much further, not with Beomgyu and lord Seojun there.

Taehyun’s expression softens ever so slightly, and you know he’s about to say something stupid. “I didn’t–”

“Yes, you did.” You shut him down, laughing painfully. “So don’t you dare go soft on me now.”

But Taehyun can’t share your light-heartedness, no matter how fake it is. "You don’t have to go down with him. Come back with me."

“To what end? So you can imprison or kill me for my infidelity?” You ask tiredly. He’s not making any sense. You guess you can’t blame him. He’s properly still reeling from what you revealed to him.

Taehyun’s jaw clenches and he looks away, not giving you an answer. You didn't expect one anyway. He's just being emotional.

It’s a funny thing to use to describe the cold lord but it is what it is. He doesn’t know what he’s asking. It would do neither of you any good to go back with him, least of all him. His court would never respect him again if he takes back a woman they all know is being accused of sleeping with another man while married to him.

He won’t look at you the same. He barely even showed you any tendril of affection when you were together. You can’t imagine how distant and suspicious he’d be now, even if he miraculously decided to forgive you.

There is no going back for either of you.

You shake your head and look back at Beomgyu wistfully. He’s the only person in this world who will take you as you are, rotten and selfish and unworthy as you are. The only one who would look into your putrid soul and not flinch. “I am his, now and always.”

You move to back away but Taehyun reaches his hand out to grab your wrist, and suddenly chaos breaks out.

Beomgyu, seeing him grab you, launches at him. Taehyun prepares to take him, but before they could clash, you intervene, stepping in line of Beomgyu’s punch, making him lose his footing as he swerves to avoid you. You use the way he becomes unsteady on his feet to push him down to the floor face first, quickly straddling him and pulling his arm behind his back.

“Let me go.” He shouts, thrashing around, and you’re forced to twist his arm painfully to get him to stop. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Taehyun inching closer.

“Stay back!” You yell at him, and he freezes in place. You think you can almost see a hint of pride in his surprised expression, but you don’t look at him long enough to confirm, quickly turning your attention back to the still-struggling Beomgyu.

“Stop it, Beomgyu!” You plead with him. “Let’s just go home, please. I want to go home.”

“Fine, let me go then.” Beomgyu growls back but you don’t do it yet. “Are you going to attack him if I let you go?”

He goes quiet and you sigh, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “Don’t be stupid, baby. I’m all yours now. I promise. All yours.”

That seems to calm him down a bit so you continue. “I miss you, baby. Don’t you miss me too?”

“Yes.” He breathes out, starting to relax.

“Okay, I’m going to let you go now and we’re going to get out of here and go back home. I’m going to do what you want and we’re going to be together. Okay, baby?” You plead, and he nods, right cheek rubbing against the floor. “Okay.”

You finally let him go and he keeps his word, getting up and dusting off his clothes. “Come on.” He grabs your hand, throwing one last dirty glance at Taehyun before he drags you behind him towards the door.

“Wait!” Taehyun shouts and you look back to see lord Seojun holding him back and shaking his head. “Let them go, son.”

____________________

When you get back to the palace, you’re surprised to see that Beomgyu takes you to the throne room instead of back to your chambers.

He orders the guards to not let anyone in and only lets go of you once you’re at the foot of the stairs leading up to the throne itself. You stand back and watch as he goes up to take his seat there.

You know what he wants even without the hungry look on his face. "Come closer."

You obey. He has given you what you wanted, now it’s time to give him what he wants, what you both want. You’ve done your part. All you can do now is sit back and hope for the best. You can never go back anyway. It’s time to give in, to stop fighting.

"Get on your knees." He rasps once you’re standing in front of him. You kneel down and watch as he undoes his pants and takes out his cock that has been hard the whole ride back home, placing it against your cheek. “This is where a whore belongs, love.”

He bites down on his lip as he smears precum over your face and you stay still, letting him get his anger out. When he’s satisfied with having messed you up, he presses the head of his dick against your lips. "Open up."

You take him in without a fight but he still grabs the back of your head and pushes it down his cock roughly. He wasn’t going to be gentle this time. He’s angry and you’ve stretched his patience thin. You’re honestly surprised he hasn’t gone completely off the rails yet.

You try to heed everything he’s taught you last time–open your mouth wide, stick your tongue out to give his cock more space and to stimulate the sensitive underside, breathe through your nose, don’t fight it…

You do your best but there is no helping the way your throat contracts around his length or the hot tears that sting your eyes as he fucks your face ruthlessly. You really try your best, but soon you can’t breathe and you start getting light headed.

You raise your hands to his thighs and peer up at him in a silent plea to let you breathe.

“Take it, you little slut.” He grunts, and you whine around his length and dig your nails into his thighs. “God, it drives me crazy when you whine. Makes me want to put my dumb brat in her place.”

You whine even more–whether to please him or as an involuntary reaction to practically choking on his cock, you don’t know. But despite your dimming vision and your lungs screaming at you, there is not a tinge of fear inside you. You know Beomgyu will not let you pass out.

And you’re right because a moment later, he pulls you off his length and gives you a moment to heave in some breaths.

“My pretty slut.” He coos, tugging on your hair so you’re looking up at him, and brushes his thumb over your swollen lips. “Did you let him see you like this?”

You shake your head as much as you can while he still holds you by the head.

“No?” He cocks his head to the side. “He wasn’t so mean?”

You shake your head again.

“Then he’s a fool. My little princess needs some disciplining every once in a while, doesn’t she?” He asks mockingly, and when you don’t respond, he moves your head forcefully as if you were nodding.

He lets go of your face and guides his cock to your mouth again. “Come on, show me how much you regret being a slut and letting another man fuck your whore mouth.”

He was being so mean and unfair. It’s not like you went out and fucked random men. Taehyun is your husband. But that didn’t matter to Beomgyu. In his mind, you are his, and you being with any other man is a clear betrayal on your part.

You suppose you’re no different though.

It still isn’t any easier to take his cock–your throat still burns as it’s forced open by his rough thrusts, you still gag and drool around him, air still hardly reaches your lungs. And in a way, Beomgyu enjoys that immensely. He’s letting out all kinds of moans, gasps, curses, and sharp praise as he bucks his hips into your pliant mouth.

You can hardly believe it when your nose hits his belly. But it’s too much. You really can’t breathe now. But he keeps your head down, his cock firmly stuffed down your throat.

He wraps his hand around your neck, feeling his cock inside, and murmurs to you. "Look at me."

You do, eyes watery and face a mess of tears and saliva. You’re not the one being touched but you swear you could cum just from the look on his face. You’re on your knees, with tears and drool dripping from your face, but somehow you don’t feel weak or powerless, not when he looks this fucked out above you–lids fluttering over his bleary eyes and mouth open in heavy pants as if he’s the one who can’t breathe. He looks entirely gone and you love it.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum.” He quickly pulls you off and wraps a hand around the base of his cock tightly, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to staunch off his orgasm.

You both take some time to catch your breath. You stay quiet, wiping your face with your sleeve as you watch him calm down a bit. You think he can’t look at you because if he does, he might just cum on the spot. You smile thinking about it. You’ll have to mess with him later.

When he finally opens his eyes, he beckons for you to stand up. He turns you around then places you on his lap with your legs folded on either side of him.

“Now this is where a queen belongs.” He murmurs, still a little breathless as he kisses your neck and his large hands come up to palm your breasts through your clothes. “You wanted a rich and powerful man, right? Well, who is more rich or powerful than I am?”

With you facing the door like this, you’re suddenly aware that someone could walk in at any moment–even though you know they wouldn’t dare–and you express your concern to Beomgyu.

"I don't care. Let them see who I really belong to." He says caressly. Once again, he makes you feel powerful despite the compromising position. “I fucking despise that you let him defile you like that when you know you’re mine.”

He rips your bodice down to expose your breasts, his fingers pulling on your nipples, and you yelp, arching your back into his chest as a fresh wave of arousal drenches your already uncomfortably wet pussy.

"You're so sensitive here, princess." He groans, his slender fingers flicking your nipples teasingly, making you grind down on his thighs to try to chase more pleasure. "That's it, baby, grind your pussy on me, make a mess for me."

"Beomgyu, please." You beg, not for anything in particular, just for him to give you more than he's giving you.

But Beomgyu is not done being angry. "Tell me, baby. Did he play with your tits like this?" He grunts, suddenly groping your breasts roughly.

"No.” You shake your head vigorously, “Only you, puppy.”

“Good girl.” He hums, kissing your neck, his touch growing gentler, still needy and possessive, but not as rough. “God, I want to mark up your pretty skin all red and blue so everyone will know that you belong to me and not that bastard.”

You feel his teeth graze against your skin, making you shiver. You wish he would so you wouldn’t have to stand in court and testify against Taehyun, but Beomgyu is too petty to let that happen, and he contents himself with pressing his plump lips against your skin in feather-light kisses.

“But it’s okay, they will all know soon enough.”

You find yourself shivering again at the ominous vow, but your focus is quickly drawn elsewhere when one of Beomgyu’s hands leaves your breast and moves down to grab at your thigh close to where you need him the most.

His hand stays there for a while, kneading the flesh there while his other hand plays with your breasts, until you can’t help but start whining, your arousal leaving a large wet spot on his pants. “Beomgyu, please, do something.”

"Do what, baby?” He teases, fingers ghosting over your slick lips. “Want me to touch your pussy?"

"Yes!" You heave, pushing your pussy into his hand. You hear him chuckle as he allows you, running his fingers between your lips a few times.

"Did me fucking your face get you this wet?" Beomgyu spreads your lips apart, letting your arousal drip down lewdly as your poor pussy clenches around nothing.

“Please fuck me, Beomgyu, I can’t take anymore.” You almost weep, the burning desire smoldering in your belly too much to take. You nearly double over when he suddenly presses two fingers inside you and spreads them apart.

“Fuck.” He grunts, his own hips bucking up in need. "Don't even need to prepare you for my cock."

"No, puppy, just take me. I want it." You plead, letting him push your body forward so he can prod his cock at your entrance.

"Ready, baby? Ready to be my queen?" His hand grabs fistfuls of your ass as he waits for your response, the other holding onto your tattered dress so you wouldn’t fall off.

Is this how all queens are treated? Their clothes ripped apart as they get fucked on the throne?

You don't really care. Everything Beomgyu has ever given you was wrong but it felt good anyways. "Yes, my king."

He pulls you back to sit on his cock, knocking the breath right out of your lungs. You've fucked Taehyun multiple times but Beomgyu still stretches you out, almost painfully.

"God, you're as tight as ever. I guess I could rest easy knowing he never gave it to you right.” Beomgyu boasts, moving you up and down his cock slowly. “My baby likes a big cock to fuck her dumb."

Not to prove his point, but you can’t really say anything right now. You’re doing your best not to split apart on his cock. God, how did you even take him last time? It is too much, too much, but you love it anyway. He’s right. You want him to fuck you stupid. You don’t want to think anymore. You just want him to take you and take care of you.

Beomgyu has one hand bunched up in your clothes to keep you moving over his cock and the other snaked around your waist and playing with your pussy, his fingers relentless as they rub circles over your clit in order to get you to loosen up and take him more easily.

“You’re being such a good girl for me, trying so hard to take me in that tight little pussy of yours, huh?” Beomgyu praises you fondly, and you nod dumbly. He is stretching you so much you feel like you're going to explode. "Gonna make you my queen, baby. Gonna give you everything you ever wished for." You feel a weight being placed on top of your head and through the haze of arousal and pain, you vaguely register it being his crown. "You want it?"

"Yes." You sob, feeling like your body has turned to molten need that only he could manipulate and put back into shape. "I'll take everything you give me."

He ruined you so completely, rotted you up from the inside, made you his long before you even realized it. What power do you have to resist him?

"God you always know just what to say to drive me crazy." He growls, removing his hand from between your legs and using both of them to grab your hips as he simultaneously moves you over him and fucks you from underneath.

You feel like a dumb doll, the way he’s bouncing you up and down on his cock so hard that the throne room around you looks out of focus as it fills up with the sound of slapping skin. You think you’re drooling on yourself and your moans sound incoherent to your own ears but you don’t care. You feel so incredibly lewd and entirely his. Only he could do this to you because you're his to do with whatever he wants.

"Gonna cum." He grunts, and grabs you by the hair, pushing you off the seat. The crown clangs to the floor as he pushes you on your hands and knees, pressing your head and torso down to the floor with your ass in the air as he drapes his body over yours and slides into you again. "Mine. Always been mine. Want to cum inside you. Want to breed you like a good queen." He grunts as he ruts into you wildly. "Do you want my baby?"

"Yes. Do whatever you want with me, my king. I’m yours." You slur out. It comes so easy to you to accept him. It feels good to be utterly claimed by someone. Wonyoung was right. You don’t have to fight anymore. You don't have to beg for love. He will take care of you. He will love you. You just have to let him.

"Fuck, I love you so much." He moans out, cumming inside you and filling you up with his warm seed.

Perhaps you should be more cautious about that. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to risk a pregnancy right now when all eyes are on you. But at this particular moment in time, with him caging you under him and filling you up to the brim, you can think of nothing but him and what he wants and the life you had dreamt up together. And even if your mind wants to protest, your body relinquishes everything to him, your pussy cumming around his cock and milking every last drop of cum he has to give you.

You’re so boneless and fucked out by now, that you’re glad when he flips you onto your back and lays you down. You don’t even have the energy to consider feeling ashamed when he leans back to watch his cum seep out of your pussy.

“God, you make me so crazy.” He murmurs, and uses his cock to collect his seed and push it back in.

You wince as his cock breaches your sore pussy once again. "How are you still hard?"

"I told you I can keep you fucked and happy." He starts to move his hips again, bending down to kiss you when you whine from the abuse on your poor pussy. “Just one more, baby. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

You nod despite your continued whines.

“Thank you, baby. God, I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.” Beomgyu keeps your legs in the air as he plows into you sloppily, the slick sounds of his cock moving inside you and dragging out his own cum too loud to ignore.

You feel absolutely debauched, lying there on your back at the foot of the throne, getting fucked like an animal by the king. You feel equal parts like the whore everyone says you are and also like the most powerful woman in the world, like nothing could ever stop you with him by your side. He would do anything for you. He can’t get enough of you. He said it himself, and maybe you don’t want him to.

“Do you feel good, my king?” You drawl, spurring him on. “Does my pussy feel good?”

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” He answers, noting the change in your right away and eagerly feeding into it.

Beomgyu gets so heated sometimes but he can be so easy to control too. He’s like a wild wolf. As long as you feed him attention and love, he will act docile and let you pet him, but if you cross him, he will tear you to shreds.

“Is this what you always wanted? Fucking me in the open like this, staking your claim on me?” Your words make him weak and his growls turn to whines.

“Yes. Mine.” He moans, his rabid thrusts growing erratic as his jaw slacks, and even though his eyes were hazy, they bore right into yours.

“Poor, baby, you’ve waited so long.” You brush his wet hair back and he looks at you with big puppy eyes.

“Yes. So long.” He whimpers, hips stuttering as you purposefully clench around him. “Can I cum?”

“So fast?” You tease and he blushes. “Please. I’ll make it up to you. Just want to fill you up with my cum again.”

“Okay, puppy, cum for me. Make me yours.”

“Fuck, fuck, you’re perfect. My perfect queen.” Beomgyu cries, eyes rolling up in his skull as he shudders over you and pumps his seed inside you.

By the time he goes still, you’re filled to the brim with him and his cum, and yet he doesn’t pull out yet.

"I don’t want to ever be apart from you, want to stay inside you forever.” He mumbles, kissing your lips again and again.

“Me too, baby.” You sigh tiredly, letting him kiss you until you’re both drunk on each other. This is what you’ve always wanted. If only it didn’t come at such a hefty prince. Nonetheless, you push that to the back of your mind, choosing to lose yourself in the bliss of the moment.

You’re still firmly in that lovely daze when Beomgyu pulls out of you and helps you up, carrying you in his arms before he places you on the throne. He then grabs his fallen crown and places it upon your head once again.

“Beomgyu, what are you doing?” You gasp, sobering up a bit at that.

He kneels in front of you. "This is what I have to offer you. Myself and the whole kingdom.” He proclaims, looking up at you like you’re his own personal deity. “All of it can be yours but some sacrifices have to be made. Whatever you think he can give you, I can give you a million times more. Both me and my riches are at your feet. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?"

Not exactly. Yes, you had unrealistic ambitions but even in your wildest dreams, you had never dared to wish for this much. You thought you could either have Beomgyu but become his whore or you could have respect and money but give up on your love. You never imagined that one day he’d be the king and he would lay down himself and his kingdom at your feet.

If ever there existed a woman who possessed the power to reject such an offer then you haven’t met her.

“Yes.”

He smiles, and bends down to press a kiss against your pussy.

___________________

You feel faint and your knees buckle under the skirt of your dress. You do your best to hold yourself together so the horde of people gathered in front of the platform you’re standing on can’t see how shaken up you are.

You step forward to give your testimony hesitantly. It's time to keep your end of the deal and testify against Ryujin and Taehyun.

By doing this, you appear to condemn them in the eyes of both the people and the court, but in reality, you're only condemning yourself. Because when the truth comes out, everyone will know you had given false testimony.

“I was tricked by lord Taehyun.” You start your rehearsed story quietly, shakily, and some people shout at you to speak up. So you clear your throat and repeat your words, louder this time, but still shaky. “I was tricked by lord Taehyun. You see, I-I never had many suitors in my life, certainly not as many as the other, more noble ladies in waiting. It was a great source of embarrassment and pain for me, and he took advantage of that. He got close to me and deceived me into thinking he fancied me, that someone actually wanted to be with me at last.”

You wince as you relay the fabricated tale, putting Taehyun into the role of the villain that rightfully belonged to Beomgyu. "The royal family were hesitant when I told them that he had asked for my hand in marriage and they warned me about him but I didn't listen. I was stubborn and I thought I knew better than them. I finally had the chance to get wed to an esteemed lord hailing from an ancient family just like all the other ladies and I wasn’t going to let that opportunity slip from my fingers." You continue shamefully, helped by the half-truth of your statement. People were listening to you with rapt attention now.

"It was only after we got married that I noticed that he would ask me weird questions all the time about the palace and my life there. At first, I brushed it off as my new husband wanting to know more about me, but the questions got more and more specific until I couldn’t ignore the sinister truth behind them anymore. I started refusing to answer and that's when he got angry… " You choke up, letting out a few tears, not because you're a good actress, but because it hurts you to say these things about Taehyun, knowing what he told you about his own mother and father.

But it was for his benefit in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it now. "He threatened to kill me like he killed his father."

A singular gasp emits from the crowd as if they all inhaled together at the same time.

“He forced me to give him the layout of the palace–the hallways, the rooms, where the entrances and exits are, and even when the guards would change shifts. He used the information I gave him along with what he had learned from queen Ryujin in order to carry out his nefarious plans.”

You pause, catching your breath and trying to not pass out from the horror of what you’re doing. “You cannot imagine my despair when I found out that they used the information they’d extracted out of me to kill the king and prince Yeonjun. I was disgusted with myself. How could I have hurt those who have taken me in and treated me as one of their own. Even though I didn’t give out that information willingly, I still felt responsible for what happened. I wanted to die too, but I needed to warn the rest of the family about what’s happening. I couldn’t continue being a coward anymore and risk their lives too.”

“So I found a way to contact them by sending them a secret message and warning them about the plot against them. I also begged them for the forgiveness I didn’t deserve, hoping they would believe that I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t think they would ever forgive me and I fully prepared myself to die by my husband’s hands as a traitor… but they did. They believe me. They forgave me. And they didn’t give up on me.” You look at the royal family then, the pain in your eyes misconstrued by all present except them. “They kept pushing and pushing until they got me back, and so here I am, once again trying to make up for the harm I have caused them."

Your dejected voice and shattered glances may have seemed suspicious in any other circumstance but to the onlookers who were so hooked onto the tale of the tragic but brave royal family, they only saw a traumatized damsel in distress that was recalling her harrowing experience of betrayal and redemption at the hands of their beloved monarchs. It all just lent more credence to your made up story.

Next, it’s Wonyoung’s turn to speak, and her testimony is the final nail in Ryujin’s coffin. She reiterates everything that her brother, Soobin, and you have been saying, and she even speaks up in “your” defense.

“The lady who was standing in front of you just now has been a friend to our family for more than a decade. We lived together, we played together, we grew up together. At this point, I consider her part of my family.” Wonyoung attests and the crowd moves in awe of the charitable princess who is so kind to someone such as you. “So to stand here and watch her be forced to deny such despicable rumors about her and my brother is so disheartening. That murderous, vile lord has no shame. Is it not enough what he did to her? Now he wants to use her to take down my brother? But it’s okay, we know how to protect our own.”

Wonyoung looks up to where you’re sitting, hidden from sight. “We will do everything in our power to help you, sweetling.” She speaks to you but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear, before she turns to the priest and addresses him. "I beg you, my lord, to free my friend and dear sister from that prison of a marriage. I know that neither you nor the good people of this kingdom will stand to keep her bound to such a ruthless man.”

The crowd roars in agreement, completely falling for the intricate lie the royals have weaved, and the priest raises his hand, silencing the crowd. "I will look into it, my child." He answers Wonyoung kindly, "Never despair, for the gods are always looking down on us and they will not allow evil to prevail for long."

His words incite a shiver down your spine. You hope it’s not true, you hope the gods aren’t really looking down on you because if they are, then surely you'll end up in the deepest hell for all your sins.

Once Wonyoung gets off the platform, the judge, priest and jury head to a private chamber to convene, the trial coming to an end and now it’s time for the verdict.

You don't know why your heart is racing and your chest is tightening. You already know what they’ll come back with. Wonyoung holds your hand as you wait, as if you're the one who needs comforting. You can almost see Beomgyu's struggle not to glance at you, having to keep up appearances in front of the public.

But the verdict comes as sure as death–guilty on all counts, and the sentence is death by decapitation.

The crowd cheers, victorious and satisfied with the juicy, turbulent story as Ryujin is quite literally dragged away, her feet not seeming to be able to carry her anymore.

________________

The news of Ryujin’s conviction and the royal family seeking an annulment for your marriage reaches Taehyun and his supporters soon enough. They, of course, decry it, using it as proof that Beomgyu is just doing this to free you up for himself. But regardless of their protests, the annulment is still approved and Ryujin is still getting executed.

You’re a single woman when you go to witness the execution of the woman who is married to the love of your life. Beomgyu tries to get you to sit it out, telling you that you don’t need to subject yourself to something so horrific, as if you weren’t the cause of that horror yourself. No. You owe it to her, despite what you may feel about her. That’s what Taehyun taught you.

Soon you might be here to witness your own former husband’s execution. Or maybe it will be yours and Beomgyu’s if your parting gift to Taehyun proves to be too successful. It’s not your intent. You merely wished to give him an edge against Beomgyu’s oppressive forces and lies, but you don’t know how potent of a tool it might be, or if it will even help him at all.

Your musings are cut short when you see Beomgyu raise his hand up, signaling for the executioner to prepare himself as the priest finishes his prayer and asks Ryujin for any last words before she meets her creators.

"I am not afraid to meet the gods.” She mutters hatefully, “But I know you all will be."

The priest looks flustered at her proclamation but Beomgyu doesn’t even react to her words. He merely lets his hand drop, and with it swings the sword.

Ryujin’s death is quick and humane, performed by an expert swordsman–blink and you would’ve missed it. Funny how, in a way, Beomgyu had more mercy for his wife that tried to kill him than Taehyun had for his brother and friend.

You could have never expected the cheers that followed the sight of her head separating from her body, and you find them to be more morbid than the screams and heaving you’d witnessed at Jaeyun’s execution. It was disgusting. No one deserves to have their death elicit such sick glee.

Just a couple of years ago, Ryujin arrived at the city with a grand parade and exuberant celebration, and now she’s being sent off to the underworld with flippant hate and gruesome cheer. How frighteningly easy it is to have people turn on you. Is this what’s going to happen to you when Taehyun uses your gift?

A cold shiver wracks your body as you imagine yourself in her shoes–your head rolling on the floor as the crowd itches to grab a hold of it and do with it god knows what.

Just like the rich prey on the poor, enslaving them and hoarding all the money from them, so do the poor turn on the rich at the drop of a hat, sinking their teeth into them and ripping them to shreds the moment they fall.

The royal family lets the cheers and shouts of approval last for a while, letting the people have their macabre fun, before Beomgyu raises one delicate hand to shush them, and as if under a spell, the crowd goes quiet.

“My good people, I thank you for the unconditional support and understanding you’ve shown me and my family against such unspeakable treason. If I stand here and speak for another hundred years, I would still not be able to fully express my gratitude for each and every one of you. If we come to win this war against the traitors, know that it will have been because of you and only you.“ Beomgyu speaks, appealing to the ego and patriotism of the crowd, wanting them to feel personally attached and invested in this cause, wanting them to feel like they were an integral part of unraveling a secret scheme to take down the kingdom and that their continued loyalty to the crown will save it.

“But I am afraid it doesn’t end here. My wife isn’t the only traitor that should be brought to justice. Lord Taehyun must be made to answer for his crimes too. Not only that, but he wants to invite foreigners, strangers, to rule your lands! Are you just going to stand by and let them take what belongs to us?” Beomgyu shouts, riling the crowd up. “Tell me, who do you trust? A king who walks among you or a warlord who seeks to bring outsiders to rule you?”

The answer is obvious, and it is shouted loudly by everyone present.

“You.” They say, “Our king.”

And with that, Beomgyu officially declares war on Taehyun and his supporters.

_______________________________

Once again, Beomgyu is swept up with preparations and meetings following his announcement of war against Taehyun, and you’re left alone to contend with everything that has happened and will happen.

It's all your fault. You should never have left. And it all started here, in this room–the ballroom–where you had to watch the love of your life dancing with the woman he was promised to and you couldn't handle it. You had to make your escape in the hopes that you would run away from having to watch him be with someone else when you loved him so painfully, in the hopes that you too could have a partner to share a lawful and honorable union with.

And now that woman you so envied is dead, and that marriage you sacrificed so much for is dissolved, and you're on the brink of war.

“What are you doing here, princess?” Beomgyu's gentle voice takes you out of your thoughts.

You look at him to see that he's the only one standing in the ballroom where the guards who were constantly around you once stood.

"Remember Ryujin's welcoming party?" You ask, catching him off guard.

"Why are you bringing this up now, baby?" He admonishes but you pay him no mind.

"When I saw you dancing with her, looking every bit like the perfect royal couple… I was filled with such hate, such ugly jealousy, I wanted to grab one of those ridiculous decorative glass pieces your mother put everywhere at the party and smash it over her head." You confess, still vividly seeing the scene as if it was taking place right in front of your eyes. "I hated her so much, I wished she would die."

"She's gone now, baby." Beomgyu reassures you, an inappropriate smile on his face.

Yes, she is. Oh how foolish was your wish? How naive? Once again the gods take pleasure in perversing your wishes and turning them against you.

You breathe out a short laugh. “It wasn’t just her. Whenever there was a ball at the palace, I always envied the women you’d dance with. I always wished that it would be me instead of them, but I never was.” You tell him wistfully, and he wraps his arms around you and pulls you towards him. “Believe me, princess, there was nothing I wanted more.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Can we dance now?”

“Of course, anything for you.” He answers, and you know he’s not just talking about this. This is a man who has killed for you. Under the cover of the night, you allow yourself to feel flattered by it. “Let me get the musicians.”

That's right. The palace has live-in musicians. The royals love their music and like all people of their stature, everything must be made available to them at their whim. It's one of the many things you envied them for, but at this moment, you just wanted to be alone with him.

“No.” You shake your head. “Just us.”

He smiles. “Then you’re going to have to suffer through my voice.”

“I love your voice.” You sigh, because of course you do. What don't you like about him?

He grabs your arms and places them around his neck before he puts his hands on your waist and starts singing.

Something hides in every night

Brings desire from the deep

And with it comes a burning light

To keep us from our sleep

Goosebumps flash across your skin as Beomgyu's voice hits you, prompting you to press yourself closer to him as if answering the call of a siren, and Beomgyu happily welcomes you, holding you back just as tightly until you’re almost hugging.

As the full star tries his best to make the white pearl shine

Glances of a new day have arrived

And though he's not alone, he fears to never love another

And leave his heart forever with her smile

He brushes your hair out of his face as he sings and you lean into his touch, into the welcoming warmth of him. You’re certain if he could rip his chest open and lock you inside, he would.

My love, light is burning

As I am burning

My love, light is burning

As I am yearning

Beomgyu sings the lyrics quietly but you can feel his soul in them. He may not be the best singer out there but no one else could move you like he does. Because the words are spoken directly to you, made for you.

And meanwhile, a whole lot goes down

Somewhere in the darkness, us together for a while

You loved it then, so did I

A feeling deep inside you wants to love it all again

His song beckons you, asking you to join him, to give into him.

His voice is so different from Taehyun’s. While Taehyun’s is melodic and sweet, Beomgyu’s is deep, unrefined, earthly. With the dark atmosphere in the room and the cryptic lyrics, it gives you shivers, and you cling to him, feeling as if he’s the only real thing in the universe. He holds onto you tightly as well, as if both of your souls could reunite if you got close enough.

You want to fall into him and never get up again.

Now don't leave it there, just give it a chance

If only I'd forget you after one last dance

But you're everywhere, yes you are

In every melody and in every little scar

His voice wavers a bit, and you see the pain behind his words. He’s begging you not to hurt him again.

Yes you are, you are, love

He ends his song, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes never breaking away from yours, not willing to break your soul connection yet.

“Everything will go our way, my love.” He promises.

You want it bad. You want everything to work out for you, but you know something that Beomgyu doesn’t, something that could turn this whole thing around–your parting gift to Taehyun. And although you know it was the right thing to do, you still feel guilty for betraying Beomgyu like this, especially when you feel one of his hands move from your back to your belly, and he smiles at you fondly.

“I wonder if I got you pregnant.”

Your breath hitches at the thought. You wanted it. You really did, and he clearly is counting on it, which you can't understand. How can you bring a child into this mess right now?

"Aren't you scared that if I get pregnant, people will realize that Taehyun is telling the truth?"

Beomgyu stiffens at the mention of Taehyun's name. "No. People are gullible. They'll believe whatever they're told if it comes from someone they like and they'll ignore the truth even if it's being screamed in their face if it doesn't align with their preconceived notions about someone. They would never believe him over me. You saw it just now."

"They might if something shifts the tide." You mutter under your breath, but Beomgyu hears it and he doesn’t let your words slide.

"What are you talking about? Is this about what you told him?" He presses, holding onto you when you try to wiggle away.

He's not being rough about it though. He's still giving you those same sad, pleading eyes that make you wish he was being mean instead. Because god help you, you're still weak for him despite everything.

"Baby, please, tell me what you told him. It's not too late. I can save us. I just need you to let me." He pleads but you shake your head, eyelashes beading with tears. "It is too late. He probably has them by now."

"Has what?" Beomgyu asks.

"The letters you sent me." You finally confess. It doesn't matter now anyway. "I lied about getting rid of them. I hid them in case you betrayed him."

You had gathered all the letters, wrapped them up in the pearl necklace Taehyun gave you, and left them in a hidden nook at the cliff you used to go to to clear your mind. You wanted to believe that Beomgyu would be content with having you back, but you needed a fail-safe in case he didn’t, and that’s exactly what happened.

To your surprise, Beomgyu doesn’t look angry, he doesn’t look shocked, instead he looks relieved.

"I'm happy you told me the truth, princess." He croons, brushing off tears you hadn’t known you were crying.

"You're not mad?" You cling onto him, seeking the forgiveness he’s dangling in front of you.

"I am upset that you decided to hurt me like that." He says and you wince. You didn’t want to hurt him. He forced you to do this. "But it's fine. No harm done. And I'm happy you confessed."

No harm done?

"But he must have the letters by now. Aren’t you scared about what’s going to happen when he reveals them to the world?" You ask, confused, but Beomgyu smiles cryptically and shakes his head.

You hear buzzing in your ear as he steps back and pulls something familiar out of his pocket–the same wad of letters you had rolled up and left on that cliff, sans the necklace.

He hands them to you silently and you receive them like a death sentence–Taehyun's death sentence.

Unfurling them, you’re met with the undeniable sight of those same words that haunted and tormented you all those nights ago.

You are mine. I cannot bear the thought of another man occupying your heart. I can’t even imagine you calling a name that is not mine. Ah… if I were to hear it I swear I would do anything to rip any memory of him out of your brain. I would take you again and again until you can’t even remember how he felt anymore.

How could you do this to me? The fact that these thoughts even exist in my mind… What have you done to me? You play with my heart. You torture me. What have I become? Would you hate me if you saw me like that? Would you be scared of me if you could read my mind?

Princess, I want to hurt you so bad right now…I want you to beg for pleasure and mercy.

You tremble as you gaze at him. Would he actually hurt you if you push him enough?

Yes, he has hurt you emotionally, even physically when he took you against your will, but would he actually harm you? Even in his worst moments, he hasn't gone that far, but what if he loses hope in you?

All this time, he has been sure of one thing and that is your love for him. He told you that he always believed you'd come back to him and choose him. But what if something happens to shake that belief?

When it comes down to it, I still can’t believe you would give up on our love so easily. I would never give up on my love for you. Even after all we’ve been through, I… It takes so much to upset me.

I can be vengeful, princess. I can be as perverse as I am sweet. They will tell you awful things about me in the following days, I’m sure. They will say that I am ruthless, that I would do anything to get what I want.. to get to you. And they will have the guts to say it with disdain, as if it was a sin. You are dangerous, my princess. You are dangerous to me. But I am worse without you. That’s why you are my princess. I need you to keep me sane.

He's almost boasting about the lengths he would go for you. How could you think you could sway someone who not only has no remorse, but is proud of what he's done?

You should have never left his side. You unleashed him on the world. None of this would’ve happened if you had just stayed.

And Beomgyu has never shied away from telling you as much.

Don’t worry, princess. I will get you back. The universe made you perfect for me so how could you belong to another?

Our story is not over yet, princess. We will see each other again. I still have hope. I have to. Every problem has a solution, no matter how drastic or insane.

Have you forgotten what I said to you that night? You destroyed me, and I will make sure you destroy him too. Do you think he will still love you when his blood is on your hands?

No, you haven't forgotten. You remember his words clearly.

"If he ever tries to take you from me again, I'll murder him in front of your eyes."

How could you have possibly forgotten this anger? It's clear he would’ve never spared Taehyun.

If you hadn’t dragged Taehyun into this, he would be safe now. He would have found someone else more worthy, a woman strong and free as an eagle who could soar beside him, not a songbird who longs for the safety and luxury of her gilded cage, for the gentle and deceiving touch of her owner.

You said you wanted money, stability, provisions… and so you ran off to him? What a fucking joke. What man can provide for you better than I can?

My stupid princess, all your life I've coddled you, spoiled you, and it made you think you can get away with doing whatever you want. That was my mistake, I admit. I made you so naive that you actually think that man can protect you.

But it’s okay, I'll fix it all soon. You’re mine. I will have you again, and when I do… The things I’m going to do, princess, you’re going to wish you never left my side.

Never again, love. You’ll never be able to leave me once I’m done with you.

We will be happy again. But for now I hope you’re crying for me. I hope you’re begging for my forgiveness.

The warnings were all there. His possessiveness and entitlement because of everything he provided for you. His warnings that he's going to take revenge and make you regret leaving him.

He kept his word. And Beomgyu wasn't going to make his past mistakes again.

"How…" You croak, trying to find your voice through your choked tears. "How did you get these?"

"I've had them for almost as long as you've been here. My spies saw you hiding them." He informs you, not needing to say more.

There goes the one chance Taehyun had to prove the truth of his claims, and you watch in despair as Beomgyu takes the letters back from you and pockets them again, no doubt to dispose of them himself.

He's the devil. You can never outsmart him….What's worse is that you feel a tinge of relief at that, the fact that you haven’t hurt him, can't hurt him. Because, may the gods curse you, you still don't want to. It took everything in you to force yourself to betray him, to go through with the meeting, and it was all for naught.

You don't think you can do it again, not that you even had anything left you could do.

"I hate you." You mutter tiredly.

"I know but I also know that you love me." He says, cupping your face gently and pressing a kiss to your lips that you don't reciprocate. "The question is, do you hate me enough to hurt me again?"

Tears fill up your eyes again, "I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted to give him a chance."

"You think that comes free? You think you can just balance the scales and have neither of us get hurt?" His voice gets high with barely contained fury. "Stop being so fucking naive, princess. It's time you make your choice once and for all. Me or him?"

You press your lips together and shake your head.

"Do you want to save him?" He deadpans and you nod hesitantly, sensing something is off.

“Then kill me.”

“W-what?” Your mouth goes dry at the unexpected challenge.

You watch with shaking pupils as Beomgyu pulls out a dagger from his clothes–-your dagger, the one Taehyun gifted you.

He holds it out to you and you reach out for it in a daze, not believing that he’s actually giving it back to you. But as soon as you wrap your hand around the hilt, he encases his own hands around it and points the dagger at the middle of his chest, right over where his heart is, just a few centimeters of skin and flesh separating it from the sharp blade.

“What are you doing, Beomgyu?” You freak out, any wrong move and the dagger could plunge in and hurt him.

"If you want to save him then kill me. Because as long as I live, he won’t ever be safe.”

You shake your head. “Stop this, please.” You’re growing hysterical. You’ve never felt this much panic and distress before, your body flooding with terror at the proximity of the dagger to your beloved’s heart. “Please!”

“I’m sick and tired of you pretending to care about these people, pretending like you don’t want what I want so I’m giving you your out. Kill me now and end it or don’t and stop pretending like this isn’t exactly what you want.”

“Beomgyu–” You whine pitifully, trying to pull your trembling hands away but he won’t let you. Your entire body weight feels like it’s being held by his hands right now, your vision growing hazy and developing black spots as you grow faint.

“Choose!”

“You! I choose you!” You bawl and he finally lets your hands go and the dagger falls to the ground with a clang. You almost fall along with it too but Beomgyu holds you fast in his arms.

"It's okay." He shushes you, smoothening his hand over your hair soothingly while you hang onto him and cry into his chest. "You just needed to make a choice. That's all I wanted. I'll take care of the rest."

It's hopeless fighting against him. He will always win. He has been dictating your life ever since you were children and he will continue doing so until your death. So just give in. You’re so tired of fighting him. You don’t even have the strength to kill him and end it because you love him too much. You love your captor, your rapist, your owner. You're just as rotten as him and you don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself.

Taehyun is going to die and you’re going to live with the knowledge that you killed him and countless more because you were selfish enough to spread your misery around.

____________________________

A/N: as always, feedback keeps me going so please drop a message and let me know what you think. only two chapters left now. is gyu going to kill tyun? will tyun figure out a way to come on top? is oc going to give in? what more tricks does gyu have up his sleeve?

#txt smut #tomorrow x together smut #tomorrow by together smut #beomgyu smut #yandere smut #sub!idol #dom!reader #sub!reader #dom!idol #dark fic

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gvfgal · 2 years ago

Text

Bound- Chapter Seven

Chapter Six

18+, minors get the hell outta here.

A/n: As promised, here’s chapter seven. Enjoy <3

Warnings. Explicit sexual content, sexual situations between reader and another male character, smoking, drinking, swearing, plenty of angst for you.

Word Count: 4k

April 4th, 1977

Nashville, Tennessee

3 weeks later…

The sun warmed your face as you sat on your front porch babysitting a cup of coffee. The morning was as quiet and as still as you were, some type of metaphorical mirror for you to gaze into.

Jake has done nothing but consume your thoughts since you last saw him, and it was times like this that thoughts of him seemed to trump anything else.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

July 22, 1972

Townsend, Tennessee

You gripped your stomach from your painful laughter, doubled over in Jake’s bed as he put a show on for you.

He was completely naked other than the cowboy hat on his head and the electric guitar slung across his front, obscuring your view of his member. On the record player, Elvis was turned up to maximum volume, and Jake imitated his stage presence in an overly dramatic fashion.

“Jake, you look ridiculous,” you wheezed, clutching your stomach harder.

He did look ridiculous. His hair was disheveled from the round of sex you’d finished minutes ago, and his face was flushed red from the heat outside and inside the bedroom.

But he didn’t have a care in the world. Your laughter was like music to his ears, some symphonic melody fit for dreams.

And your smile.

God, your smile.

He’d do anything to see it surface and light the world, even if that meant making a complete fool of himself.

Once the song was over, Jake sat his guitar back on the stand, and leaped onto the bed with you. He removed the hat from his head and placed it on yours, you sat up and struck a pose.

“How’s it look?”

Jake’s eyes dropped down to your bare chest before he looked back at you with a drunken grin, “I don’t think I’ve ever loved that hat this much until now.”

You fell into a fit of giggles as he attacked you with kisses, then he rolled over on his back, pulling you on top of him to straddle his waist.

He was smirking up at you, “so what do you say, cowgirl? Wanna take a ride?”

You could feel him twitching beneath you, and you raised up to your knees, bringing two fingers to rub slow circles on your clit.

“You’re so corny,” you breathed out before biting your lip. Then slowly, you sank down on him. He gripped your hips with rough fingers, his hold so tight you moaned audibly.

Jake’s head fell back to his pillow with a loud groan of his own, and he let you take him to euphoria.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Hey.”

You jumped so hard that the coffee you were holding spilled onto your lap. Luckily, it had been sitting unattended for so long that it was lukewarm, and you didn’t have to bear the sting.

“Shit,” August gasped, setting his briefcase down and rushing to assist you, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you baby.”

He took the mug from you and sat it on the table, “want me to go get some napkins?”

You stood from your seat and looked at him for the first time that morning. He was dressed for work in one of your favorite suits he owned. It was simple navy, but paired with a crisp white shirt, it made August look like a million bucks.

Just like he did right now.

You smiled up at him, completely disregarding the spilled coffee and your interrupted day dream.

“It’s fine,” you dismissed, “I’ll just go inside and shower.” You walked up to him and threw your hands over his shoulders, careful not to press your front against him, “you look handsome. Headed to work?”

He nodded, and his hands slid around your waist, but he didn’t pull you any closer, “thank you baby, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

You knew he was teasing, your hair was still in the tangled bun you slept in, and your pajamas, of course, were drenched in coffee.

“And you smell good too,” he continued, placing a soft peck on your nose, then your lips.

“Yeah? What do I smell like?”

He took a long inhale into your head, holding it in then blowing it out roughly.

“Coffee. Medium roast, I think.”

You burst into laughter, and this time he did pull you into him, placing a much firmer kiss on your lips, “I love you. I’ll see you later. Hold down the fort for me, okay?”

It was Monday. Monday’s we’re your days off.

He released you and picked up his briefcase, turning to hear your response.

You smiled, giving him a thumbs up, “you got it.”

He grinned back, “that’s my girl.”

You watched as he got in his car and drove out your short driveway.Once he was gone, you went inside to clean yourself off, a feeling of despair clinging onto your back, unwilling to let go.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

After you showered and changed, you began cleaning. If you sat still for too long, you knew your mind would wander back to Jake again, and you refused to allow him to take up any more of your time.

There wasn’t much to be cleaned in the house, but you scanned every nook and cranny you possibly could, finding corners that needed to be dusted or picture frames that needed to be straightened.

Once the house was spotless, you decided to go to the store and pick up ingredients to make August’s favorite meal.

Ever since you’d seen Jake at the bar, you’d been rather distant from August. He didn’t seem to notice it much, but you feeling it was enough to scare you.

You wanted to do something to show August that you loved him, and that you were his.

Only his.

The store run was quick, and you were back with plenty of time to start dinner before August returned from work. You grabbed the mail on the way in, and set everything on the counter to wash your hands.

Once your ziti was in the oven, you settled yourself into one of the barstool chairs with a glass of wine. You tapped your foot along to the Patti Smith song on the radio as you sorted through the pile.

Bill.

Spam.

August.

Spam.

Me.

Bill.

Spam.

Catalog.

August.

Spam.

You froze when you came across an envelope that didn’t look like the rest of them. Your first and last name, along with your address was scribbled on the front in a messy, yet familiar, handwriting, but there was no return address on it, so you couldn’t pinpoint who it belonged to.

Placing your wine glass on the counter, you tore eagerly into the envelope, retrieving the first thing your hands landed on, which just so happened to be a postcard.

Montana?

You frowned as you eyed the snow capped mountain printed on the front, but once you flipped it over on the back, your breath hitched in your throat, and you felt your palms growing sweaty.

There was no mistaking the handwriting now.

It was Jake’s.

Your initial thought was to rip the postcard to shreds. You were doing everything you could to erase Jake from your brain, and reading his words surely wouldn’t help. But you also couldn’t ignore the way your heart was beating inside of your chest on double time, pleading for you to see what he had to say.

Your brain wanted nothing to do with him, but your heart was fighting against the current of rationality for any morsel of him it could get its hands on.

Poor troubled heart, you know we shouldn’t do this, you thought.

You swallowed down all of your doubts and read anyways.

Y/n,

I know this letter is probably the last thing you were expecting to receive, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let things stand how we left them at the bar that night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for the last five years.

I’ve spent every day since the day I left trying to convince myself that what we had was finished, and there was no chance of fixing it. But after seeing you in Nashville, I know that's not true.You know just as well as I do, y/n, that this thing between us isn’t over. The look in your eyes when you saw me, it told me everything your mouth wouldn’t.

I understand that things are different now, I really do. But I’m begging you, if you still believe somewhere in your heart the way I do that there’s still a chance for us, no matter how small that somewhere is,

Come to me.

All my love,

With hands that trembled furiously, you reached into the envelope and took out the rest of its contents.

A show ticket.

A backstage pass.

A plane ticket. Scheduled for a week from Friday.

You dropped the items back onto the counter and picked up the post card again, staring at the last three lines.

Come to me. All my love. Jake.

Jake…

You blinked, and you blinked again. On your third blink, a tear fell from your eyes and onto the card, smearing the ink and distorting his name at the bottom.

The front door unlocking startled you out of your trance, and you scurried to stuff the papers back in the envelope before running to tuck it away in your purse.

“Smells good in here,” August called out as he shut the door behind him, you wiped vigorously at the remainder of your tears. Moments later, he entered the kitchen with his briefcase in hand and his suit jacket thrown across his arm. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone and his hair was tasseled about his head.

But he was still just as handsome as when he left that morning.

You were leaning back on the counter, attempting to appear as casual as possible, though it felt like the room was closing in on you.

“I’m making your favorite,” you smiled.

You felt like breaking down.

He crossed the room over to you, leaning down to plant a slow kiss on your lips, “have I ever told you you’re the best fiancée on the planet?”

There it was, that guilt again. You felt like anything but in that moment.

“Every once in a blue moon.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Dinner was ready twenty minutes later, and you and August sat across from each other at the table as he ate and told you about his hectic day at work.

You’d only managed to take a bite of your garlic bread, and had now resorted to poking around at your ziti. You hadn’t even looked at your salad.

Your mind was steady fixed on the envelope that waited in your purse. It was as if it were beckoning you, drawing you to its contents, to Jake’s words.

Come to me…

Every few minutes your eyes would flicker over to where your bag sat, but August was so engulfed in his meal and ranting that he hadn’t noticed.

“It’s just ridiculous, you know? It’s like these clowns get in the courtroom and forget all about the freedom to assemble? And it’s bullshit because—”

“August will you fuck me?”

His jaw slackened, and he tilted his head to the side.

“Right now?”

You were well aware that you sounded deranged, but you couldn’t have cared less. You needed something, anything, to obliterate Jake from your mind. The longer you sat there, the longer thoughts of him consumed you. Soon enough, you’d be nothing but a smoldering pile of Jake.

You shot up from the table, and August, even in his confusion, followed suit.

“Right now.”

As you marched over to him, August turned to shove his plate and drink back on the table, tipping the glass over in the process, but he’d worry about that later. He caught you just as you crashed into him, your lips meeting in an ugly way. The kiss stayed sloppy as you wrestled to get his pants down, and he took the chance to shove your shirt up your torso to grab a handful of your tits.

Once his pants and underwear were around his knees, he hiked your skirt up and pulled your panties to the side, and with one swift movement, he thrust himself into you, and began fucking you. Hard. Just like you asked him to.

Just like you needed him to.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You were wide awake that night, watching the ceiling fan rotate above you as you thought about the one thing you were trying to forget.

Jake.

August was sound asleep beside you, his back to you as he snored lightly. You always loved the way he snored, it reminded you so much of…

Fuck.

You threw the covers back and slid your house shoes on, deciding to go out back to smoke in attempts to calm your nerves. Quietly as possible, you reached into your purse for your stash, but your fingertips brushed against something else instead.

You glanced back over to August just as he turned over, and once he settled back into his sleep, you grabbed the letter, and your lighter, and those damned cigarettes and tip toed out of the room to the back door. Once settled, you opened the envelope again and retrieved the post card.

You smoked, and you read the letter. Then you read it again. Then you smoked some more, then you read it again.

By the time the cigarette was finished, you had read Jake’s words a dozen times.

And before you went back inside, you read it again.

Come to me…

When you fell asleep that night, it was those three words on repeat until you woke with the sun the next morning.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You carried Jake’s postcard with you everywhere for the next week, and at any opportunity you had, you were fishing it out of your purse, reading it as many times as you could in the time you had.

You also hadn’t slept much in the last week either. Day in and day out you wrestled with the challenge that faced you, and you were completely torn.

On one hand, you knew it was absolutely ridiculous to even entertain the idea of going to see Jake when you were engaged to someone as incredible as August. He was a great guy, an amazing guy, and he came into your life just when you needed him to, pouring himself like concrete into the shattered parts of your heart, making you feel whole again.

Still, it was a different type of whole. It could never measure to the entirety you felt whenever Jake was in your life.

You felt guilty for thinking that way, but you knew it was useless to try and convince yourself otherwise. Some people just impact your life in more meaningful ways than others, and you can do nothing to control it. Every single night for the past seven days, when August was sleeping peacefully beside you, you’d stare at him, trying not to imagine the hurt he would feel if he knew about the silent battle that waged on in you mind. You’d call on all the higher powers you knew by name, begging them for their forgiveness.

But through all of this, Jake’s words were the strongest force compelling your next move.

Come to me…

And you wanted to, despite everything, and more than anything, you wanted to.

And the more you thought about it, the more you started to believe you needed to.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

April 11th, 1977

Nashville, Tennessee

“I’m going to Montana this weekend.”

It was another Monday dinner, and you’d spent your entire time cooking trying to map out how you’d approach the conversation. You had settled on a much more eloquent delivery, but when the time came for you to speak, that was all you could manage to get out.

August was chewing when your words rolled out, and he froze momentarily, cocking a brow at you before returning to his food.

“Really now? What’s happening in Montana?”

“I’m going to visit a friend… from college.”

You hated the way Jake made you lie to someone you loved, and the irony of it was almost laughable. But you’d just add that to this list of things to repent for. Your next sentence was nothing but strategy. You planned it out this way, hoping that it would throw him off your scent, and it would either work perfectly, or completely come back to bite you in the ass.

You were hesitant as you spoke, “you could come too, if you want.”

He smiled at you, “that sound sounds like a lot of fun, babe.”

Oh fuck…

Your heart began hammering in your chest, but before you could go into full panic mode, he spoke up again.

“But I’m slammed with work getting ready for this hearing coming up on Monday. So I’ll have to skip this trip,” he shoved another forkful of food in his mouth, “but maybe next time, yeah?”

You were swimming with relief, but your face reflected disappointment, “yeah, maybe next time.”

And so it was decided, in five short days, you’d be going to Jake.

Just like you wanted to. Just like you needed to. Just like he needed you to.

You had no idea what to expect when you got there, and this was in no way your parting from August, but you also knew you’d live the rest of your life in regret if yo didn’t get on that plane to Montana.

Who knows, you may get there and realize that five years is just too much time to pass between two people, that too much has changed. But maybe, just maybe, the barren fire that was once you and Jake carried enough embers that it could ignite again.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

April 15, 1977

Kalispell, Montana

Jake waited in agony for weeks for this day to arrive, and now that it was here, he wasn’t sure how to feel.

There was no way for him to tell if you would show up or not, but for the sake of his own sanity, he hoped that you did.

He was staring at his reflection in his dressing room mirror, the sounds of their opening act vibrating off the walls around him. He assessed his reflection, and silently cursed at the way his exhaustion was painted all over his face. Hopefully you wouldn’t notice it as much as he did.

That was, if you even came.

There was a knock at the door that made him pause his daydreaming, and he froze as he watched in the mirror as the door slowly began opening, not able to draw breath into his lungs.

When Josh appeared, he slouched back in his seat, realizing this was another one of his routine twin check ins.

Jake surprised everyone when he hadn’t completely gone off of the rails after Nashville, and while most of them saw it as a good thing, it only worried Josh further.

To him, it was a sign of a bigger storm coming, a storm that he believed even Jake wouldn’t be ready for. So as much as he could, Josh was constantly checking in on his other half, hoping that the storm would never come.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, I know you were looking for her,” he apologized as he shut the door behind him, giving him a sheepish smile.

Josh was the only one aware of the letter. He didn’t see it as the best idea, but he knew when it came to you, Jake couldn’t help himself. So no matter what the outcome was after tonight, Josh would be there for him like he always was.

Jake sighed, slouching over onto the vanity, “she probably isn’t coming anyways, Josh.”

“Ahh, come on brother,” Josh shook his head as he approached his twin, patting him on the shoulder, “you can’t think like that. Gotta stay positive.”

Jake’s eyes found his in the mirror, “easy for you to say, you fucking ray of sunshine.”

Josh laughed loudly, snatching up the unattended bottle of tequila from the tabletop and taking a swig, “so they say.”

Someone from the stage crew knocked on the door, “five minutes till curtains.”

Jake stood now, adjusting the sleeves of his suit jacket, and against his better judgment, Josh handed the bottle off to him.

“You ready?”

Jake nodded with his mouth around the bottle.

“Don’t be nervous, alright? If y/n is somewhere out in that crowd tonight, play like you used to play when you were trying to impress her when we were kids.”

Once they were situated, Josh turned to leave, but before he could make his exit, Jake was calling out his name.

“You think there’s really a chance she’s out there?”

He always asked him the most difficult questions. But Josh could see from the look in his eye that he really needed some hope right now, no matter how fleeting.

He smiled, “she’s bound to be out there somewhere.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When the curtains fell, and the sea of faces in the crowd were visible, Jake began scanning the venue for your face in particular.

It was dumb, really. There was no chance in hell he’d be able to spot you among the hundreds of people in the crowd, but all he needed was a glimpse, just to know that you were there, and that everything he felt that night in Nashville wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

By the middle of the set, there was still no sign of you, and he was beginning to lose hope. And by the time it was over, Jake was ready to go drink himself into a stupor.

You didn’t come… Of course you didn’t, you were engaged.

You were getting fucking married.

As soon as they were no longer visible to the audience, Jake snatched his guitar from his body and shoved it into the hands of one of the stage grips. He felt a little bad about it, but he’d apologize later.

“Jake, wait!” Josh shouted behind him, doing his best to untangle himself from the mess of cords before chasing after him.

“Would you slow the hell down?”

“She didn’t come, Josh,” he responded as he made a b-line towards his dressing room.

To everyone watching, it appeared as if the two were playing a game of tag, and it earned them lots of curious stares from different crew members.

Josh caught up with him, stopping him with an urgent hand on his shoulder.

“Jake, just calm down.”

Jake swiveled around, slapping Josh’s hand away, “you don’t fucking get it, Josh.”

His tone was venomous, and his eyes were burning into his brothers.

Josh stood taller, crossing his arms over his chest, completely unphased by his brother’s threatening posture.

“What don’t I get?”

Jake was huffing now, but just as he was about to lay into him, a voice pulled straight from the heavens interrupted him.

“Jake?”

For a brief moment, his heart stood still in his chest before pounding back to life with a thrum so hard it could’ve knocked him off of his feet.

His eyes found Josh’s again, with a stunned look that read ‘is it really her?’

Josh glanced over his twin’s shoulder at you, then gave him a nod.

Slowly he turned to face you, your tense body appearing at the end of the corridor, purse clutched tightly at your side.

Even more beautiful than the last he saw you.

She came to me…

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Chapter Eight

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