#matt: 'i mean you'd probably fit' neil: *glare*

[thespineoftherighteous]

foxes take on the mall

so the foxes want to (or were coerced into wanting to) go see a movie at the theater in the mall but they decide to make a day of it so they get there way before the movie starts to just do whatever

when they first get there, they were all together and were trying to figure out where to go

they eventually broke off into groups and went off in different directions with the plan to meet up at the theater ten minutes before the movie started

Nicky and Andrew went off together to go shopping like the fashionable boys they are

as did Aaron and Allison, but to other stores

the other five started off together but pretty early on matt and neil ended up splitting from Kevin, Dan and Renee

now. Matt and Neil.

neither of them have any initiative to go shopping for any specific thing so they just drift around a bit

they find an escape room place and Neil is interested, so they go in for one

and come out approximately three minutes later because the first thing Neil picked up was somehow the box that had the very last clue and he picked the lock on the box and there the passcode was

matt was too impressed to tell Neil that that wasn't how most people played and he managed to convince the very confused lady who worked there to give him and Neil their money back because...three minutes

they did go into different stores, usually when Neil saw something that reminded him of one of the foxes and wanted to buy it

they hit every single corner of the mall that had free food samples and rated each of them between themselves

they also got loads of really shitty mall drinks and ended up hopped up on sugar

there were also lots of typical matt/neil conversations: "how do they get the car inside the mall?" "that is *not* how you pronounce Louis Vuitton, Matthew" "hypothetically, how much do you think you could sue the mall for if one of those massive decoration things fell down on you?"

they somehow ended up in multiple high end stores (one in which they saw Andrew and a very surprised-to-see-them-there looking Nicky)

matt also has a video of Neil running up the escalator..in the opposite direction

(matt actually has multiple videos of Neil running up the escalator in the opposite direction but in only one of them was Neil successful. he loves the outtakes even more though because watching Neil first struggle to get the hang of it and then watching him terrify old person after old person as he started reaching the top was hilarious. he'd be flying up the escalator and some nice old lady would then choose to step on and Neil would nearly trip himself as he tried to stop without crashing into her and then he would turn around, face furious, and ride the escalator all the way back to the bottom just to start again)

they found a churros vendor and while they were waiting for the new batch to be ready they plopped into the massage chairs that are placed randomly about the mall and matt has a selfie of the two of them looking very content and luxurious in the chairs as Neil debated the technicalities of getting one into his rooms in fox tower

at one point they also wound up in the arcade and bought fifteen dollars worth of tokens just so they could play air hockey a million times

Aaron and Allison saw them when they were in there and poked in long enough for Aaron to absolutely tear Neil apart in guitar hero. after they finished their game they had to wait like ten minutes for Allison and Matt to finish a very competitive round of Dance Dance revolution (matt is a king but if Allison was wearing sneakers.... well it'd be tough to call)

Matt introduced Neil to Auntie Anne's and the whole time they're waiting for their order Neil watched the person in the window twisting the pretzels at lightning speed

they pass by a Build a Bear workshop at one point and neither of them had ever been in there but like, it's very intriguing from the outside, so they wind up inside and walk around in awe for a little bit until they realize that every single person, parents and children and employees alike, are (not very subtley) staring at them because they're whole ass adults

"just looking," matt announces to the store at large. "you know, for our daughter." Neil snorts.

a similar thing happened at Claire's but this was because they stood there for like twenty minutes debating whether or not Neil should pierce his ears (they decide not to do it there after Matt relayed one horror story after another that he's heard about infections and whatnot from places like that)

they go into an electronics store so Matt can buy new headphones and in the five minutes it takes him to make his purchase Neil landed a new high score on a game on one of the sample phones laid out

by this point, they're starting to experience the first effects of what was looking to be a very intense sugar crash but they still have forty five minutes until they were to meet with the others so they settle down at one of the tables at the food court and order a bunch of fries

they have all their purchases laid out around them and they're both slouching with their feet propped up on opposite chairs and they're parallel to each other and practically laying down, just chatting under/across the table and lazily flicking a sugar packet back and forth between them

because the food court is on the way to the theater, this is how the others find them... looking like tourists who just rolled out of some sort of amusement park for the first time where they bought every single thing in the (albeit, expensive) gift shop

seriously.

i mean Neil has a Gucci fanny pack just sitting on his lap, sunglasses (with the tag still on them) propped on his head despite being indoors and his tongue is still blue from the slushy he had three hours ago.

Matt's not much better, as he's got his headphones wrapped around his neck, new shoes on his feet and a smudge of lotion on his cheek from the lady at the skin care kiosk who had attacked him with a free sample in a horrible attempt to flirt

the others migrated over to their table oddly fast for a group that was so spread out and within a minute of Dan and Kevin joining them (Renee had gone off to find Andrew and Nicky earlier) the others were all there (with, it should be mentioned, a mere dozen bags between the seven of them)..all there and staring in horror/fascination/awe at all the shit surrounding matt and neil

"how..how long were we gone for?" Dan says in lieu of "hello"

"is that real?" Nicky demands, pointing at the (Gucci) fanny pack in Neils lap

"yeah. you can have it though. I got two others. and I can't get any one of them adjusted comfortably"

mouths drop

"wHY?"

Neil shrugs. "matt said they were cool." (matt: flashes a peace sign above the table)

"why is your sleeve soaked?" Allison asks of neil

"mishap with the wish fountain"

"why are you wearing new shoes?" Dan asks of matt

"mishap with the wish fountain. the powers that be demanded a sacrifice for said mishap and apparently it was either my shoes or my boy"

(Neil bumps matt's fist from where they're still laying across from each other under the table)

while the others cautiously poke through Neil and Matt's bags and attack their fries, Andrew flicks the house shaped cardboard box on the table with a "what the hell is this?"

"oh that's- shit what's his name? hold on I have his birth certificate somewhere." Neil starts to push himself up from where he's been practically horizontal for nearly forty minutes to root around in the Build a Bear box

"his name is Edmund you negligent, negligent father," matt says from where he is still horizontal and practically hidden on the other side of the table

"ah, right," Neil says, turning back to Andrew. "that's Edmund"

Andrew just stares.

"my teddy bear," Neil explains. "well, my and matt's teddy bear. well, technically he's a teddy frog but if it's all the same to you..."

Andrew looks at him closely. "are you drunk?"

"no. but we did have a shit ton of candy from the arcade and sugar from the pretzels and slushies so I'm not feeling too hot anyway but it's good, I'm good"

*insert distressed Kevin Day noises*

"how..long...were we gone for?" Dan asks again looking around dazedly

Neil shrugs and then starts. "oh by the way Dan, I got you something"

he sits up fully and starts looking around for a bag when Renee hastily cuts in with a "why don't you wait until we're back home to get into that. the movie's about to start. well, if we're still doing that?" this last thing she addresses to the group at large but is directly mostly to matt and neil

"what? yeah no of course." Neil looks under the table to Matt for confirmation. "Matt. Matty. Boyd."

"yeah yeah I'm down, lets go."

needless to say, neither Matt nor Neil make it through even half the movie