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medical-gal · 4 years ago

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Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

#sorry this is long #but goddammit it needed to be said #suzy's adventures in id

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dalamjisung · 6 years ago

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a cliche for when you need one ❁ lee minho

genre: fluffiest fluff out there

word count: 3650

pairing: reader x lee minho

description: everyone needs a cliche in their life. Is that true?

Books were your life; and not to say that in a ‘quirky’ or ‘nerdy’ way, but in the most literal sense of all– books were your life. Your dad owned an independent book shop right under you guys’ apartment, and that was the only source of financial income you guys had. So yes. Books really were your life. It also didn’t help that you worked there every day after school and every afternoon on the weekends. The Literary Corner was never closed.

To say you grew to love books was wrong; it felt more like it was engrained on your DNA. There was no way you could’ve come out not liking to read, and even if you did, you wouldn’t have much of a choice. Your dad didn’t have enough money to hire someone to work the store while he was gone, so he pretty much relied on you– not that you minded, of course. To work at the store meant that you had enough time to do your homework, and sit on the bay window, in between Fiction U-Z and Non-Fiction A-D. That was your favorite spot, especially in between the times of 4PM and 6PM, when the sun is low enough to shine that golden light it produces after a long, tiring day, warming to the heart, but carrying no actual heat at all.

It was just one of those days; perfect weather, perfect feeling, perfect everything. You walk out through the gates of school feeling relieved– you couldn’t wait to sit on your window and read your brand new edition of if on a winter’s night a traveler. Italo Calvino was one of your favorite authors, and the sun that shone bright as you walked home would be the perfect company for a great read. You were excited to get home, chatting away with you best friend, Kim Seungmin. As weird as it sounds, you both met at the store, when he came in to buy the mandatory books for you advanced literature class, and that’s when you found out that he was a student in your school. Better yet, that you were in the same literature class.

“Did you see who’s getting transferred to our class?” Seungmin asks. “Professor Jeon said that he didn’t enroll to take them, but the principal thought that the other class was too easy for him…”

“I didn’t hear about any of this!” You gasp. “Who could it be? We didn’t really get new students this semester.”

“Rumor says it is one of the trouble boys,” He wiggles his brows and laughs. “Maybe one of them is secretly smart.”

“Pff,” You snort. “What a cliche.”

Laughing, you guys forget about the subject altogether. It was good that your school was starting to demand more from its students, but you really hoped it wasn’t the case Seungmin was talking about. You never had an encounter with one of those boys, and even though you hear plenty about them, you never cared enough to pay attention. The truth was that literature class was your favorite– one of the few things you were able to excel at school,– and you didn’t want someone who didn’t really care about it running it for you.

“I have to go,” You point to the store. “But I’ll see you at school. And don’t forget that we have our scheduled movie night after my shift tomorrow!”

“How could I forget, Y/N?” He laughs and waves. “We have it every week.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You chuckle. “See you later!”

You take it all in as soon as you’re inside; the smell of books–your personal favorite– surrounded the place as if it owned it. Your dad ran past you, kissing your forehead and bidding you goodbye, as he was probably late for another date with his mysterious girlfriend. You smiled, shouting a ‘good luck!’ into the air as you watched him run with a bouquet of flowers. You walk behind the counter, already listing your daily tasks as you drop your bag on the floor.

#1: Restock the best-sellers at the main door.

You walk to the table where a few books were missing and count them in your head, memorizing their names and authors, treating each one as a different person. You go to the back room and star collecting the necessary items. Enjoying while the store is empty and silent, you put some music on, allowing your earphones to drown the world outside into nothingness.

#2: Put the disorganized books back into their place.

#3: Dust the shelves.

Humming, you were quick to get the job done. This was something that you did everyday, with the utmost care in the world. You liked getting home and doing your tasks; the repetitive actions turning into a natural de-stressor.

#4: Count the cashier.

#5: Water the plants.

#6: Check stock.

And for your favorite part:

#7: Help Ms. Lee with her weekly search for a new book.

For the past five years Ms. Lee has come to the store in search of new books. They could be newly published classics or newly written contemporaries, she’d buy them all. She would come in and look at the book that you’d have in hand; I have a grandson, you see, she’d chuckle. A handsome boy, around your age, and he loves to read. What could you recommend, dear?

For the past five years, you’ve been reserving two copies of the same books; one for you, and for Ms. Lee’s grandson. You started to adore the boy even without meeting him. As Ms. Lee would tell you what he said about the novels, you noticed you started having book debates with this boy through his grandmother, and you completely adored it, so you’ve started patiently waiting for her to enter the store, with the reserved book and a glass of water.

As the door dings, you smile from where you’re crouching down behind the counter. You were working on a delivery package of three books and you were looking for boxes.

“Good evening, Ms. Lee!” You say, smiling as you get up. Your smile was quick to shatter, though, noticing that the tall figure in front of you wasn’t the adorable old lady you were expecting. Well, it wasn’t a lady at all. “Oh?”

His mouth is covered with a black mask and he is wearing a beanie. His brows go up in surprise, probably from you popping up out of nowhere. You signal him to wait and walk to the front door, peeking outside in search of your customary client. Nothing.

“Hm, excuse me?” You hear from the inside of the store. “Are you Y/N?”

You halt. How did this stranger know your name? You mind starts racing; your dad was occupied with his girlfriend and would take too long to come help if anything were to happen, same with Seungmin, and you were alone with this stranger who apparently knows who you are-

“I’m Ms. Lee’s grandson,” He chuckles. “She told me to look for you.”

Before registering what he said, your mind goes crazy. “Oh my, is she okay? Did anything happen?”

“She’s fine,” He says, and you notice he’s smiling because of his eyes; they were smiling too. “She’s just tired, so she sent me instead. I hope that’s okay?”

This is when it downs on you; this is the boy you’ve been admiring for the past five years. He was finally here. In person. Talking to you.

“Y-yes, of course!” You chuckle awkwardly. “… nice to meet you?”

“Yes,” He says pulling down his mask and he was indeed smiling. “Nice to meet you.”

“So,” You clear your throat. “What can I help you with?”

“Oh, yeah!” He digs inside his backpack and pulls out a sheet of paper. One that you were surprised to find out you knew too well. “I hope it’s not too much trouble, but I need those books.”

“Wait,” You frown. “You go to the school near the shopping mall? Just a few blocks away from here?”

“… yeah,” He frowns too. “How do you know?”

“I go there too,” You say, and your heart is beating rapidly. “I’m actually in this class.”

“Oh, how do you like it?” He asks leaning on the counter. His eyes are innocent and curious, just like a cat. “I’m being forced to switch, so I’m a little scared.”

“Don’t be,” You laugh ducking to pass under the counter and walk to the shelves where you knew those books laid. “It’s really fun. You clearly like reading, so I don’t think you’ll have any problem.”

“That’s good to hear.” He chuckles from behind you as he watched you struggle with a high shelf. “Let me help you.”

And you can just feel the warmth of his body as he stepped closer and grabbed the copy of harmless person to you by Choi. This collection of short stories was really dear to you, and you were happy to be able to discuss it in class.

“I’ve read this before,” He mumbles. “It’s really good.”

“It really is,” You nod, and as you both fell in a rhythm, the comfortable silence accompanied. After a while, all books were pilled in the counter. “Finally done.”

“These are too many.” He groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve read two thirds of these already,” You mumble, scanning all of the items.

“How do you know?” His voice seems genuinely surprised.

“Because I have too,” You chuckle. You eyes travel to the copy of if on a winter’s night a traveler and you extend it to him. “Although I am pretty sure this one is new to you.”

“It is,” He checks the back. “I like some of his other works, though. The way he switches his style of writing even new book is amazing.”

“I know, right?” You squeal, a little to excited.

“How much for this one too?” He asks with a wide smile. So genuine, you think.

“A present.” You say, blushing. “Consider it a present from me. See you tomorrow?”

“Definitely!” He grabs the bags. “Thank you Y/N!”

“No problem!”

And it’s only when he’s gone that you remember.

I didn’t even ask his name.

———————————

For the next day of school, you don’t wake up late. You wash your face for the first time forever and you take your time brushing your hair. It’d be stupid not to, now that you knew Ms. Lee’s grandson was in your class.

“What are you doing?” You dad asks from the door, squinting his eyes. “Since when do you get all pretty to go to school?”

“I look the same, dad,” You laugh and somewhere in your mind you are sure you’ve read that conversation in a book. The character would later get ignored by her crush in school and bla bla bla. Just the thought of such cliche is funny to you, making you chuckle. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Every time you sat down to have breakfast, you thanked the lord for your dad’s girlfriend. She was an angel on Earth; always coming by to visit and check-up on you two, always making sure there was plenty of cooked meals in the house, since neither you or your dad were reliable enough to cook, always inviting you to come over and stay with them when your dad slept over and you were alone in the house. After your mom died, it took a while for you two to get back on your feet, but she helped. She was there first as a friend, and then as something more. You loved her for it.

Your walk to school was more peaceful than usual; you had your earphones in, humming the same song you were before, back in the store when Ms. Lee’s grandson came in. You smile, unconscious of the fondness of the memory. A tap on your shoulder is enough to drag you out of the music induced trance you were.

“Hey,” You hear someone say– him say. “Going to school?”

“Hey!” You say excitedly, smiling wide. You put your earphone on your backpack, sure that you won’t need them now that you had company. “Yeah, why don’t you walk with me?”

“Sure,” He smiles. “My name is Minho, by the way. Lee Minho.”

Now that you knew this information, you chuckle. You’ve definitely heard of him before. Heartbreaker. Player. Lazy. All adjectives used to describe this one boy that now rambled on and on about the first three chapters of Italo Clavino’s book, and how the usage of the second person narrator was a fantastic choice to involve the reader into the plot. You nod, not actually listening to him, but knowing what he’s saying anyways, because you’d say the same things. When it came to books, you two always agreed.

“Are you even listening?” He laughs, poking you with his elbow.

“Of course,” You blush a little. “Second person voice and all; great choice.”

“I was talking about coffee,” He says with wide eyes and a playful smile on his face. “Wow. You really weren’t listening!”

“What?” You panic. “I’m sorry! What about coffee?”

“Wanna grab some after school?” He says, straightening his back and clearing his throat. “I know a great place nearby the bookshop.”

“I wish I could,” You say and for the first time you cursed the moment in which you’d have to go straight to the store. “But I take over the store after school, everyday… my dad needs to do some things, so I try to help him out.”

“Oh I see,” His eyes lower to the ground and he kicks a pebble. “What if I brought the coffee to you? I can buy some and stay with you in the shop– I could even help out!”

“Really?” You say, impressed. Your mind travels to a parallel world, in which you and Minho work at the store together, laughing and talking about book all evening. And when the golden hour washes the place, you two sit at the bay window, and everything is just calm and beautiful and golden. “I’d love that, thank you.”

“Great!” He says excitedly. “It’s a date then.”

And the rest of the walk goes by peacefully quiet. Just you two and the early birds chirping. Today was bound to be good– you could feel it.

Classes came and went, lunch too, and it was time for your final class of the day– advanced literature. You were excited because of the new vibe that would wash over the room today, Minho being a new factor into the dynamics of the place. You were all there except him, but he makes it seconds before the teacher, and sits way in the back, ignoring all the swooning girls that waved at him. You chuckle, but it doesn’t escape you the fact that he ignored you too.

During class, he doesn’t say a thing, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed. You thought he’d be different. What is wrong with me?, you think, rubbing your eyes. That’s such a cliche thing to think. You force your attention back to the teacher, and you remember absolutely nothing from the lesson except the moment that the bell rang. It made you jump from your seat and you heard someone snickering. You turn to Seungmin and see him holding his laugh in.

“Idiot,” You mumble, holding your laugh too. He get’s up but you hold him by the hand. “Oh, wait up really quick, I need to talk to someone.”

You turn around and see Minho looking at you. You smile and start walking to him.

“Minho,” You call, but he speed walks past you, his shoulder bumping into your and making you lose your balance for a second. Seungmin is quick enough to push you forward, stoping you from falling on your ass.

“What was that?” Seungmin asks as you two walk out the school. “Lee Minho. You know him?”

“Yeah,” You mumble. “We walked to school together and he was pretty nice. Maybe I said something to offend him?”

“I doubt it,” Your friend says and that was it about it. You two talked about anything and everything, but Lee Minho. You felt confused, and a little hurt; your fantasies shattering to the ground as you walked home.

You barely noticed the bookshop showing up in your line of vision, and you definitely didn’t see the boy sitting down on the curb, with two cups of coffee in hand.

“Y/N,” Seungmin says, stopping in his tracks. “Is that Lee Minho?”

Your head whips around and your eyes adjust to the image really quick. He wasn’t in his school uniform anymore; his hair was hidden under a beanie again and the glasses were back. He looked cold, breath coming out in small puffs, and jacket seeming to flimsy to handle the weather.

“Yeah, that’s him…” You say, starting to walk to where he was. “I’ll see you later?”

“Call me right after this is done,” He says winking at you. “I wanna know everything.”

“Just… no.” You laugh as he whines. “Go home, Minnie. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You know what?” Seungmin says with a smile that you’ve known to cause trouble. “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to movie night tonight… oh too bad, don’t rush him have fun bye!”

And before you could complain he runs away laughing like a maniac. Shaking you head your best friend’s antics, you go to where the root of your confusion was, trembling from the cold.

“Why are you outside?” You chuckle, feeling slightly awkward. “The place is open.” “I thought that if I was inside you wouldn’t be able to see me,” He sniffs. “And you would’ve thought I bailed on you. Which I didn’t.”

You were speechless at this point. “This makes no sense,” You say, brows raise. “I hope you know that.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” He laughs. “Let’s go inside and talk, yeah?”

Shaking your head, you walk in first, dropping your bag at the counter.

“Give me five minutes,” You say, walking to the back where the stairs to your place were. “I just need to change real quick.”

Uniform discarded, and sweatshirt and jeans replacing them, you walk down, putting your hair up and making your daily mental list.

“Okay,” You say, grabbing the coffee he got for you. “Thanks. Let’s talk after I finish the tasks? They take around thirty minutes…”

He shakes his head. “I want to help.” And that was it.

He checks the inventory while you reorganized the books. He dusted the shelves as you counted the cashier. You water the plants together, and it’s low-key adorable. Once you are done, twenty minutes later, the coffee is cold and the weather is unforgiving. There is no golden sun illuminating the store, and there is no peacefulness in the bay window. There is only rain and thunder, but Minho still insists in sitting and watching the water pour down from the skies.

“I love rainy days,” He sighs. “They are perfect for reading.”

“I hate it,” You chuckle. “I don’t like thunders.”

“Are you scared?” He teases you, and open his arms wide. “You don’t have to be when I’m here. I can protect you.”

“Says the guy that almost pushed me to the ground today!” You gasp, laughing. You didn’t take it to heart, really; you were sure he had an explanation, but if he could tease, so could you.

“What?” He shouts, looking actually surprised. “When?”

“After class, but it’s okay, I didn’t fall.”

“No, it’s not okay,” He says making a face. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry, it was an accident.” And you just let your head fall to the side in a sign of confusion. “But I called your name…”

“I had my music on,” He chuckles, clearly embarrassed. “As soon as the class finished I put them on. I was on a hurry to get home, change, and buy the coffee before you got home. I wanted to get here first.”

“Oh,” You say, face blushing and smile wide. “Well, this is definitely a surprise.”

“I’m also sorry about kind of ignoring you in class, I guess,” He mumbles looking to his coffee. “I just… I get a lot of shit in school. My friends and I, I mean, and I just didn’t want people to bother you too, if they saw you talking to me and all…”

“Oh my gosh, Minho,” You whine loudly, laughing right after. “That is such a cliche!”

He smiles. “I can be a cliche,” He says leaning forward, just a few centimeters from your face. “Whenever you need one.”

You squint your eyes, and quickly kiss his cheek. “I don’t know when I’ll need one,” You say watching him gasp with your bold move. “But sure.”

“I’m in love,” He says dramatically, and you squeal.

“SO CHEESY!” You shout, laughing and stomping your foot on where both of you sat. “Look, look! I have the chills, that was so bad!”

“There is so much more from where that came from,” He laughs, pulling you by the ankles, making you slide close to him. He kisses your forehead and you cannot stop laughing. “I read a lot, you know?”

“Oh my god,” You hide your face on his chest. “Stop. I need to breath.”

And that was how the afternoon went by. Minho would keep blurting out romance novels cliches and you’d laugh and run away from him, as he chased you with open arms, ready for when you decided to run to him.

He was right, after all. Everyone needs a cliche once in a while… and he was yours.

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magioftheseas · 5 years ago

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Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold

Summary: In which Matsuda and Komaeda clean themselves off in the public bath. It's clean, I tell you, CLEAN!

Rating: PG (?)

Warnings: I mean two boys are taking a bath but it’s non-sexual and it’s...a bath. There are some decriptions of the nudity and scarring but it’s clinical.

Notes: Ah yes, the mandatory bathing event that comes with every killing game. Honestly it’s fairly tame and I admit I just really like writing people taking baths. I just love baths. But yeah, this one takes place immediately after Chapter 10. It’s short and sweet but I enjoyed writing it, ehe.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

Just undressing was a bit of an endeavor with how much his shirt got stuck to his skin. It was a hassle to drag off, and the tag in the back was fucking scratchy as shit. Grumbling, Matsuda practically yanked it off, tossing it aside. He moved onto his pants, even more of a hassle due to the texture and scowled all the while.

“Do you need help, Matsuda-kun?”

“No, fuck off.”

Komaeda giggles in response and Matsuda doesn’t look at him but at the set of clothes set delicately aside. Shirt, pants, and boxers all daintily folded with the ridiculous jacket hung up lovingly. Compared to his heap on the group currently burying his slippers. The orderliness annoys him for several reasons, but he’s not in a particularly introspective mood right now so he lets it slide.

Komaeda had already turned on the shower, humming and checking the temperature. Matsuda stole a glance at his bare shoulders, noting that without extra layers, Komaeda Nagito was almost disgustingly frail. The steam did little to obscure that, but Matsuda quickly directed his attention to wiping the moisture off his forehead rather than overthinking as he was prone to do.

If I had let him get tied up, would he have actually survived?

He shouldn’t think about that.

Also, he caused two deaths yesterday and is humming a damn tune. But, hey, we all cope in different ways. Urgh.

He shouldn’t think about that, either. While a shower was one of the more ideal places to get ill, he did want to just bathe and wash everything away rather than creating a larger mess.

Even though I’m a mess of a human being even without that damn basket case over there.

Ha. Ha.

“Matsuda-kun, the water’s ready!”

Who’s responsible for who, here?

With a sigh, Matsuda dispensed the last of his clothes into the misery heap and made his way over. Komaeda handed him the shower nozzle cheerfully with his face and hands both looking awfully red.

Matsuda checked the water and nearly screamed from the immediate, searing burn.

“What the fuck, how big is your death wish?!”

“Oh,” Komaeda intoned, pulling the water away and staring at the nozzle in confusion. “Too hot or too cold?”

“Hot! Way too hot! Are you trying to burn yourself alive?! Wasn’t Hanamura enough?!”

Urgh, and now he felt sick again.

“It felt fine to me,” Komaeda muttered, almost curiously. He puts his hand under the spray. “Mm.”

Matsuda yanked his hand away by the wrist, expression dark.

“The least you can do is take me by my fucking word.”

So he can’t feel it. That’s great. That’s just great. He’s bad at guilt, grief, and heat. What a combination. But, I can’t exactly be surprised.

Sighing, he took over the shower and twisted the knob so that it was more suitably lukewarm. He personally preferred them on the cold side because he was less likely to fall asleep that way, but he didn’t want to give the idiot he was in charge of a fucking stroke.

“Sorry, Matsuda-kun.” Komaeda ducked his head, looking apologetic at least. This guy and his standards. Matsuda simply rolled his eyes.

“Do you never notice blisters?”

“Oh, I get them sometimes. Why?” Komaeda tilted his head, smile stupid and innocent. “It’s the same with bruises.”

“Understandable,” Matsuda grumbled before spraying Komaeda in the face. “Aah, it looks like I’m gonna have my work cut out for me.”

Komaeda cried out, gurgling his name. When Matsuda pulled back, he was groaned and covering his face.

“Uu, it got up my nose.”

“Ah.” Matsuda clicked his tongue, and he couldn’t brush off the rising heat in his cheeks as being the fault of the water. Dammit. “Sorry about that. Turn around. Let’s just start rinsing you off.”

“M-Mm?” Komaeda blinked at him blearily. “I can do that myself, Matsuda-kun.”

“Did I fucking stutter? I can’t even trust you to not eat soap with how you act sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” A pause. “I can’t even see how that would serve any higher purpose. Really, if anyone should do that, it should be Matsuda-kun.”

“Fuck off.”

Giggling at his inane joke, Komaeda obeyed and turned around. Matsuda’s gaze ran up and down. Every contour of his spinal cord and shoulder blades stuck out, and even over his hips, the skin seemed to be stretched over thin. Komaeda still hummed cheerfully, squirting shampoo into his hand and lathering his hair.

“That melody,” Matsuda found himself murmuring. “I guess it’s not terrible.”

“Aha, thank you.” Even tossed carelessly over his shoulder, Komaeda’s smile was painfully bright. “It’s a lullaby that a nurse used to sing for me.”

Not your mom?

His chest clenched at the thought.

Then again, do I even remember her lullabies?

“Do you know any lullabies, Matsuda-kun?”

“Haah? What kind of question is that?”

“I just,” Komaeda chuckled, turned away with pink ears. “Whenever you remark on something, I can’t help but wonder about the significance of it.”

Komaeda’s hands dropped to his lap, head tilted back. Getting the message, Matsuda turned the spray back on him to rinse out the soap. Without thinking, he runs his own fingers through the ivory strands to be thorough. As one would expect, the hair was thin, frail, and easy to pull out if he wasn’t careful.

“Mm, Matsuda-kun,” Komaeda hums happily. “So cleansing.”

“If you make it weird again, I won’t hesitate to spray your face.”

“Uwah! Please don’t!” A light laugh tinged with weariness. “I really didn’t enjoy the previous time.”

“So there’s your limit on your self-destructive tendencies, huh?”

“I don’t like to be hurt without purpose, Matsuda-kun!”

“I see.”

He wanted to scoff but instead bit his tongue.

A fucking mess I got myself into, that’s for damn sure.

All the same, he finishes with Komaeda’s hair and moves on to scrub his back. Komaeda shudders, flushing for some reason, and Matsuda avoids his stare. Instead, he observes the various scars on the other’s body. Some of them were surgical scars. He could tell they were the work of amateurs and it pissed him off considerably.

“U-Um, Matsuda-kun? You really don’t have to go this far.”

“With how pitiful you are, you’d sprain something by accident if I just left you on your own,” he retorted. “Besides, it’s easier this way. Do the same for me next because I really don’t want to expend this kind of effort on myself.”

“Aha,” Komaeda gasped before nodding cheerily. “That’s so like you. It’s still the highest honor to ask of from someone like me!”

“Not really.”

If I end up falling asleep, I’m hoping this idiot has the sense to wake me up, at least.

Komaeda was still giggling and fawning over the idea and he may have made a mistake, but Matsuda was a stubborn enough guy to commit. And whatever regret there was, it wasn’t enough to overcome his sheer laziness and disinterest in maintaining an acceptable level of personal hygiene.

“Hm, hm.”

He was actually starting to doze off already.

“Oh, Matsuda-kun, I’m not done washing myself off yet!” Komaeda exclaimed, aghast. “Ah, just let me take the nozzle back to finish.”

He was tired enough to comply, sitting down and laying his cheek against his knees with a groan.

“Ugh. The day hasn’t even truly started yet. That’s fucking great.”

“Chin up, Matsuda-kun! As an Ultimate, you have to keep looking unwaveringly towards the future.”

“Ew.”

And then, Komaeda was the one to spray him in the face. The ensuing water fight after that, with Matsuda cursing and Komaeda chortling, was more than enough to get his spirits up in a manner of speaking.

But even after the water took away all the sweat, dirt, and a little bit of blood, it sure as hell didn’t lighten up the overall situation. Still, Matsuda supposed he felt a little more capable to handle it, even with a beaming nuisance trailing after him.

#yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #nagito komaeda #komaeda nagito #MatsuKoma #Protag Matsun #Magi fics #I really did try to exert self-control and am I going to be thanked for it?#Probably not

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reddiess · 7 years ago

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[stan_the_man messaged you]

For the anon who wrote: "stenbrough social media/college au where person A is an instagram model and person B is a fan who has a friend that forces them to follow and comment, and !! person A notices him!!!!" i’m so sorry something was wrong with the connection so i either didn’t post it or deleted it but shoot me a message if you liked it op! you can also find this on my AO3 Requests are open, shoot me a prompt for a fic or headcanon!! Summary: Stanley Uris has an undying crush on Instagram model Bill Denbrough. Which is fine, until Richie Tozier goes and messages him. * The moment Stanley Uris spots his best friend with his phone in his hand, suspiciously only tapping once on the screen and with purpose, is the moment he knows Richie Tozier is fucking dead. "Richie," he draws the word out as if to question his friend's entire existence. "What are you doing with my phone?" The traitor looks up and has the audacity to smile innocently, like he doesn't know what Stanley is talking about. "Um... Nothing?" "Nothing my ass," Stan murmurs under his breath before sizing the situation up and jumping into action. He throws himself over the back of their leather couch but Richie is already out of the living room, wheezing as he bolts towards the kitchen door. Stan stops and crosses his arms in front of his torso, waiting for the inevitable— CRASH! He watches with perverse satisfaction as his flatmate trips over the ironing board standing in the entrance to the kitchen, toppling to the floor. "There's something in the way," he deadpans. "Watch out."

"Fucking bitch." Richie pushes himself up. Somehow, there's still an unnerving grin splitting his frog face in two. "I still messaged him though."

Stanley's eye twitches. "Who exactly, again?" He stomps over to the monster he calls his best friend and rips his phone out of his hand. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

DING!

stan_the_man followed you

DING!

stan_the_man mentioned you in a comment: @billyboy boi fuk me up u fiiiiiiine

Bill Denbrough's eyebrows draw together in confusion, his stare almost piercing holes into the touchscreen of his phone; what kind of language...?

DING!

stan_the_man messaged you: dam boi are u a pair of ray bans bc ud look great sitting on my face ;);););)

The line is so out of the blue and bizarre that Bill actually bursts out laughing. He sits up and quickly screenshots the ridiculous message to send to the groupchat with his closest friends.

Out of pure curiosity he clicks on stan_the_man's profile and is surprised to find that the guy looks fairly normal – handsome, even – and not at all creepy like he would've expected. There's also no trace of the attitude or the, um, grammar he used in his direct message to Bill. He actually just looks like a regular guy who's nice and hot and therefore way out of Bill's league.

He goes back to the direct message to type in a reply but changes his mind pretty quickly. Should he even address something as childish and weird as this message? Should he even...

DING!

He almost drops his phone in surprise.

stan_the_man: Oh God, sorry. That was my roommate, this is so embarrassing. He thinks he's funny.

No emojis, no pickup lines. But at least the guy has good grammar. That's more than what he normally sees on Instagram these days.

Stan tries to forget all about the most embarrassing event of his life, also known as the time Richie dm'd his Instagram crush with a godawful fuckboy one-liner. He doesn't unfollow Bill Denbrough though because why would he?

He does still spend a good majority of his free time stalking the guy's profile. What can he do when Bill is literally perfect with all his black and white photoshoots and colorful model shots in European countries and mirror selfies with his dog? What is Stan supposed to do, ignore it? Yeah well, not today - and not only because he's a photography major and the shots make his heart weep but also because Bill is ridiculously perfect.

So here's the brief story of how he found the guy: He was exhausted after a long day of work and was in search of a movie stupid enough for his mushy brain to absorb. In this state of mind, a person's brain capacity is not exactly at its full potential, and so that's his excuse for clicking on a Buzzfeed article titled "21 Hottest Male Models We Shamelessly Follow On Instagram". Go figure.

All of them were hot, of course. But Bill Denbrough was... something else. All Stanley could think about was photographing him. Most of the models were these muscly, handsome machos with chiseled jawlines and messy hair - your typical, well, douchebag look. None of them were Stan's type by far, so he was ready to close the article but then he saw number 21, Bill Denbrough aka @billyboy. Bill was... stunning, to say the least. For starters, he didn't have any facial hair, one point for him. He was not buff, more of a tall and lean type, another point. Not the average face that's considered universally attractive but more of a unique charm and he seemed to have a dog; more points. His bio said:

Bill Denbrough 23yr old model based in New York, loves dogs, books, nature and tv shows. Advocate for LGBTQ+ and homeless youth. For business inquiries, please contact...

His pictures all matched with his bio, Stan realized as he scrolled through his profile. He really was a dog and nature lover, liked to read and was actively helping the LGBT and homeless youth - infinite points and there went Stanley Uris' heart.

So that was then. Now is now, and now... Stan is getting a message from him.

What!?

Stan clears his cache, force stops and restarts the Instagram app and cold boots his phone but it's still there:

billyboy: Haha, no problem man. I know a lot about annoying roommates. I like your work btw!

What. The. Fuck. He doesn't know if he should smack Richie or kiss him.

stan_the_man: Wow, thank you! I'm a photography & imaging major so they're mostly my assignments, but some of them are just for fun. Are you still studying?

Lame, but kind of okay. Acknowledged Bill's compliment, gave a bit of insight related to the topic, asked to show he's also interested in having a conversation. That's normal, right? He waits a couple of minutes before sending it just so he doesn't seem desperate but gets a reply almost instantly.

billyboy: Yeah, I'm studying creative writing, it's my last year though. Can't wait to be out of uni tbh.

stan_the_man: same, I'd sell my soul at this point for it to be over

Bill laughs, or at least sends a laughing emoji so Stan guesses he does. That's how he starts talking to his Instagram crush.

It doesn't help much with his crush, talking to Bill. If anything, it makes him like the guy even more, which in turn just makes his heart hurt when he thinks about how he doesn't have a chance. Sometimes he has a flicker of hope, like when Bill says something especially flirty or compliments his new picture. He doesn't post many selfies but the one he does Bill ends up commenting on ("What a handsome curly man #crying") and Stanley ends up gaining 300 followers overnight.

And his infatuation with the model just keeps growing and growing. He's certain Bill is not perfect, he can't be but what can a man do when it sure seems like he is? Stan has no chance. So he does the stupidest thing he can do and invites him out for coffee. As soon as he sends the message he throws his phone across the room, the childhood habit of biting his fingernails making a short but threatening return. Get your act together, Stanley thinks. He's just a guy.

He's Bill Denbrough, he's not just some guy! His mind helpfully supplies.

You're arguing with yourself again. Stop it.

I do whatever I w--

DING!

That has to be Bill. It has to be. Stan carefully rounds his bed and reaches for his phone, pushing the home button so he sees his lockscreen. The preview of Bill's message starts with Sure! When are you... and then it's cut off.

Stanley looks around to see if Richie is in hearing distance, and when he finds he's in the clear, he does a dance of celebration.

He really should give a present of gratitude to Richie now.

It goes well. Coffee, that is. They hit it off right away because as normal as Bill comes through in his messages, his humour actually aligns with Stan's in that dry, passive aggressive, death loving kind of way. Which is fine. Amazing.

What's not amazing however, is how perfect he actually is. Stan sees his clear skin and perfect hair and amazing body proportions and red lips every day on Instagram but it has nothing on the real thing. There's just no way any camera could ever capture the charisma the guy has.

(Stanley is going to try though. Even if Bill wouldn't have agreed to it, he would somehow bribe him into modeling for his portfolio. He did agree though, and without any extra convincing too so Stan is going to make the most of that promise.)

It turns out that Bill's favorite tv show is Supernatural, bless his soul, but his favorite movie is Edward Scissorhands, which Stan also loves. They also realize they go to the same university and actually took a course together last semester – some bullshit class where attendance wasn't mandatory – except Stan never realized it. Bill traveled a lot last year due to his modeling career and Stan literally never was there so there was little to no chance of them meeting; which is nice because he would have had an aneurysm on the spot.

When he gets home that afternoon Richie is already sitting in the armchair in their living room with crossed legs.

"I see you've had a fun day," he waves his phone at Stanley, who has to squint to see that Bill has uploaded the selfie they took together to his Instagram.

"None of your business," Stan replies and automatically turns to leave. Well, he would if Richie Tozier didn't jump on his back the next second and really, how is he that fast?

"Tell me EVERYTHING Stan the man, don't you even think about sparing me any juicy details!" Richie booms in his ear before he manages to shake him off enough that only his arms remain locked around Stan's neck. "Come oooon, I hooked you guys up!"

"What the fuck do you mean you hooked us-" DING! "Excuse me, I have to go." He unceremoniously bites Richie in the forearm until he has no chance to let go with a yelp.

"At least tell me later!" his best friend shouts after him but he's already halfway to his room. He plops down onto the light blue bedsheets he changed just yesterday, and the faint smell of the detergent kind of reminds him of how Bill smelled when they half-hugged while saying goodbye.

billyboy: Thank you for the coffee today! I actually have a confession to make.

billyboy: Tell me if I got the wrong message or anything but I had a very hard time not kissing you after we met. I just thought it would be fair to tell you.

Stan turns so his face mushes into the pillow and screams.

("When were you going to tell me this?!" Richie shouts, pushing his phone screen into Stan's face. "HUH?"

It's a picture Bill took on campus of them kissing - he uploaded it onto his Instagram story which in turn spiked hundreds of fans to raid Stanley's DM's – mostly with positivity – and Richie to, apparently, have a mental breakdown.

"Just die," Stan replies, pushing the oversized phone out of his face, but he is smiling. "I was going to tell you later, maybe when we're not in the library? You're making a lot of noise."

He's pretty sure he can see Richie's face turn purple with how much he's trying not to scream.

He is going to buy him a present, don't worry. But for now, he has to work on his assignment so he can go meet his boyfriend.)

#stenbrough #stan uris #bill denbrough #fanfic #it #it 2017 #it movie #stenbrough fanfic #djskjfsdjfk i love this pairing so much im gonna kms #hope this doesnt suck lmao

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localrobosexual · 7 years ago

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so how about The Last Knight huh

HECKO I totally forgot to make that post about what I thought about Transformers 5 after I watched it whOOPS

so here they are now!! :0 it’s kinda long though. Sorry about that. Unlike my post about GOTG Vol. 2 that one time, for this one I just kinda wrote down some erratic notes about thoughts and reactions I had as I watched the movie, and then I kinda summed up my opinion about it overall down at the end?? so yeah. That’s how this one is gonna play out lol. Generalized running commentary style.

(fair warning: this WILL contain spoilers!! Like I can’t,,, , talk about it without giving stuff away lmao. If you haven’t seen the movie, and still want to and plan on doing so, I don’t recommend you read this!)

alright u made it past the spoiler warning so here we go!!

- Quintessa gave me a lot of G1 Unicron vibes with the whole "I made you, you are mine to command" thing

- "Why do we tell these stories, besides the fact that dragons are wicked" girl same lmao

- I literally cannot. CANNOT. Take Barricade seriously. With those ridiculous "punish" and “enslave” branded brass knuckles. Buddy. My dude. Please chill. You're literally trying to be so edgy man just. Turn it down a notch lmao - Optimus literally didn't sound at all like himself at first?? It sounded like he had a different voice actor for those first few lines he spoke?? That was weird. It wasn't until the second time he appeared on screen where Quintessa was telling him about where the staff was hid was I like "oh wait yeah there's Peter Cullen" - the "Cybertron is coming" shot looked sUPER fake and green screened to me for whatever reason?? like idk I think it was the lighting they had on him but it was reALLY FUNNY PFFFFTT

- Bee swinging his legs on top of that roof was sUPER CUTE THANK U IM BLESSED

- Mohawk. Um. Who thought turning Junkrat into a Transformer was a good idea bc that’s literally all this dude is lmao

- What kind of name is Nitro Zeus. Im cryin. PRETTY SURE HE HAS THE SAME VOICE ACTOR AS THE ONE TIGER ALIEN FROM BEN 10??? I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT HE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WENT "LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN". WHY DOES HE HAVE SHOCKWAVE'S FACE. IM SO DONE

- I like how they had the whole holoform bike thing going on?? like how Prowl's was in TFA and Arcee’s was in TFP that was neato - I WILL NEVER GET USED TO HEARING BUMBLEBEE SWEAR I S2G but the Siri voice thing was pretty funny ngl. I saw that in a trailer on instagram and didn't actually think it was actually a real scene that they kept I thought it was just made for that specific ad but nOPE IT WAS REAL LMAO - Megatron musing over Starscream's decapitated head oh my god liSTEN MAN PUT HIM DOWN DONT BE LIKE THIS COME ON - HI CAN WE TALK ABOUT COGSMAN I LOVE COGMAN A LOT I LOVE HIM HE WAS REALLY GREAT EASILY A BIG FAVE HE WAS SO ENJOYABLE TO WATCH I love how,,, ok heck I don't know this guy very well bc I didn't watch Age of Extinction but it's the green dude with the trench coat built into him,,, Crosshairs?? I think it's Crosshairs yeah but the fact that he called him a C-3PO rip off was fUNNY MAN that also got a good laugh outta me and he totally rekt his heckin finger lmao. He was rlly short?? that surprised me kinda like from the trailers it looked like he was pretty average human sized but nope he’s super short - BEE'S DOUBLE CHEST POUND FINGER GUN "ayyy my dude" THING WAS ADORABLE THANK U - THEY ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH THE WHOLE EARTH BEING UNICRON THING HOLY HECK now that,,, that was really interesting. Didn't expect that. AND the whole Nemesis Prime deal?? OP getting brainwashed?? THAT'S why he's heckin evil nO WONDER MAN GEEZ I didn't think OP would willingly do all that to the earth just because. That makes me feel a lot better actually lmao - Soundwave!! Shockwave!! u guys are famous!! wow way to go im so proud of u!!!! - Hot Rod tho,,,, , oh boy he was a mess lmao. I only really know Hot Rod through MTMTE and the 80s Transformers movie so,, , not too too much to go off of, but he just was so incredibly DIFFERENT and off-putting from what I was used to that I honestly didn't like him so much?? I mean he was alright. Grew on me a bit more as the movie went on I think. He was ok. That time warp weapon thing he had was cool tho!! nice!! seemed kinda overpowered a bit but cool!! - COGMAN SPINNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE WHILE HE WALKED THE DOG WAS ADORABLE THANK U - you know that movie trope where he background music will become like a song on the radio and then a character comes and switches it off?? YEAH THEY DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THIS MOVIE WITH THE EPIC WORLD-CHANGING ORGAN MUSIC AND I JUST. COGMAN GOING HAM ON THAT ORGAN HAD ME CRYYYYYYYIIINNG HE WAS SO INTO IT MAN OH MY GO D. I LOVE COGMAN THANK U THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES AND IT WAS HILARIOUS GOD BLESS - HE CAN SING OPERA TOO IM CRYYYYIINNNG MAN JUST. PLEASE LET HIM HYPE UP THE MOMENT HE'S DOING HIS BEST!!!! - THE TABLE WAS WRITTEN IN OLD CYBERTRONIAN yknow if you could get Cyclonus down there he could probs read that for you no problem. Or don't actually. Please don't drag him into Bayverse oh I s2g nevermind nevermind - HEY MAN I LOVED THAT ROBOT HYDRA WOO BOY THAT WAS COOL and it's like?? a Combiner?? but not really. Burton just said the twelve knights combined into the dragon but I doubt they can all unfuse from that form lmao it was probs just a one time thing. So not a Combiner. Still cool tho. Robot dragons. SICK!!!!!! - HEY they did the whole Unicron's a planet-eating god thing this time around too wow. Neat. Listen man all I'm saying is I glad I watched TFP and bits of G1 and that 80s movie bc if not I woulda had no idea why Unicron was important lmao. That was pretty neat tho!! Interesting. Interesting. - OK BUT COGMAN LAUGHING AND SINGING "MOVE B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY" WHILE DRIVING 200 MPH DOWN THE ROAD WAS HILARIOUS WHAT A BLESSING THANK U - Surprisingly Bee seemed to be ok in that open water??? Hanging on to the side of a submarine?? I mean. Salt water man. Buddy watch out ur gonna rust plEASE BE CAREFUL

- speaking of which didn’t they say there was gonna be a submarine transformer in this movie?? like didn’t they say that in interviews before the movie came out?? I mean. We never saw that. It might’ve been that the submarine WAS a transformer but it never spoke, never transformed, nothing. Didn’t give any indication that it was uniquely Cybertronian aside from Vivian’s magic touch thing. Idk. That wasn’t explained so I mean. Hmm.

- Cogman can make sushi!! dang!! wow!!! bravo!!! - OP'S HECKIN INTERDIMENSIONAL BOOB POCKET OH MY GO D dang wish I had one of those lmao - THAT FINAL FIGHT WITH OP AND BEE THO AAAAAAAA OH MY GO S H HECKO MAN!!!! OPTIMUS RIPS OFF BEE'S DOOR WINGS MAN!!! GEEZ!!!! what I wanna know is like since when did Bumblebee have a hammer lmao. Like,, , is it supposed to the the Forge of Solus Prime?? When did he get that?? How and why?? I don't know and it was never explained but I mean. Why tho. - OH MY GOD BUT BEE'S VOICE!! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!!! DANG!! WOW BUDDY!!! AAAA!! IM GLAD HE'S OK!!! and that's all it takes to snap Optimus outta his brainwashed phase lmao ok then. Cool. Wasn’t what I expected him to sound like either but then again I really don’t know what I expected in the first place lmao - I feel a LOT better knowing Optimus didn't willingly wanna destroy the earth like. He was brainwashed. And when he snapped outta it he felt absolutely awful about what he did. I mean it felt like that whole plot point was rushed, a lot of this movie felt very rushed, but it makes me feel better at least lmao. Optimus I'm sorry man can I,,, , give u a hug or something man it rlly looks like u need a hug - "YOU CHOSE THE WRONG SIDE" OOOOOH BOY FLASHBACKS TO THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR BIT IN PRI.ME(3) LMAOOOO - CADE. BUDDY. YOU CANT JUST BLOCK A SWORD LIKE THAT. THAT WAS A KILLING BLOW DEALT BY A GIANT ALIEN ROBOT I DONT CARE HOW SPECIAL THAT MEDALLION THINGY IS U CANT JUST DO THAT LMAOOOO. And then as soon as he whips that sword out the rest of the knights are like "oh wait yeah let's stop killing this guy we're chill now let's all point out swords together" lmaooooo - Crosshairs' "Love that guy. Goosebumps every time" line after Optimus gives his mandatory speech lmAO DUDE SAME - "You were by far the coolest" alright Cogman you ruined the moment a lil bit but man I still love u hecko - OK THIS IS GONNA SOUND REALLY STUPID BUT LISTEN MAN I'M GLAD THERE WAS,,,, , a lot of hand holding going on towards the end. Like fr. Cogman to dying Burton and Vivian and Cade as they were gonna jump outta that plane onto the Cybertronian tendril whatevers. Just. Small bits of physical reassurance and comfort in times of real great distress. I appreciate that a LOT more than like, watching two characters make out right before the big climactic final showdown lmao. Thank u movie wow I really didn't expect that - SO THERE WAS A COMBINER TEAM!! A COMBINER MINOTAUR!!! DANG NOT EVEN GONNA LIE THAT THING WAS NEATO!!! - Ok forget what I said about Hot Rod at the beginning he redeemed himself at the end. I didn't like him and first but now,, , now we chill. Granted I still can't see him as being HOT ROD bc he's just so different from what I know him as Rodimus but I can still appreciate him as his own character. Cool cool. - OPTIMUS RIDING THE ROBOT HYDRA INTO BATTLE AND BLOWING EVERYTHING UP WAS GREAT. MAN THAT WAS GOOD. "DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM" WOOOO BOY CHILLS MAN!!!! - OH COME ON they still made out. Lmao. Dangit. It was inevitable but I mean come on man. Alright. They kept it short and quick thank you tho if u had to put in a make out scene at least u kept it to a minimum. Thank you. Can we get back to the robots now pls. - AAAAA BUMBLEBEE'S "STING LIKE A BEE" LINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - that ending was pretty sudden lmao. A lot of this movie was sudden and fast. They just jump cut STRAIGHT to those credits man not even an ending panorama or clean slow zoom out shot or anything lmao - AND OH BOY THEY TEASED UNICRON’S GONNA ACTUALLY COME BACK AND APPEAR IN ANOTHER MOVIE AAAAAAA OH NO OH BOY NOT AGAIN GOSH DARN IT LMAO

All in all, surprisingly, I actually ended up kinda enjoying it!! Like it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!! Tbh for me it might even be second best in the series!! (First being the first movie from 2008 lmao) Honestly I was really REALLY surprised at how much I didn't hate it. Like. I still dislike it to a degree because it's still Bayverse, and I probably won't watch it again unless I'm with friends (like I do with the rest of the transformers movies) but it honestly wasn't too too bad! It really exceeded my expectations as far as plot, and I wasn't hardcore cringing for most of the movie so hey that's a plus!! The movie had a lot of genuinely funny moments, especially with Cogman, which got some pretty good laughs outta me like I was really having fun at those parts!! Optimus’ absence for most of the movie didn’t sit well with me for some reason. Like it just felt strange. But it kinda had to be for the story to move forward so I guess I can forgive that lol. The pacing was REALLY whack and way too fast though. Like they were REALLY trying to cram a whole lotta stuff into a relatively short amount of time. The movie's almost two and a half hours long but it really didn't feel like that because of how fast the pacing was. Some of the dialogue felt really forced because of this issue too. It didn’t feel genuine sometimes. But that has to be like, pretty much my only specific issue with it?? surprisingly?? wow. I'm honestly super shocked lmao dang man I didn’t think I’d like this movie at all but I was very much proved wrong!! I hated those old ladies tho and their obsession to get Vivian a boyfriend and the whole innuendo thing. Yeah. No. Don't do that. Stop. I'm too ace for this.

anyways yeah those were my thoughts sorry that was so long lmao whoops

#transformers #bayverse #tf5 #transformers 5 #transformers the last knight #words of meg #long post

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dafthappiness · 8 years ago

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I totally forgot that I never explained what happened to me to all of u so if u r interested in learning how I Super Broke my ankle then read below the cut:

about 3 weeks ago, there was a party on a rooftop, and the only way to get to that party was to climb a rickety old wooden painters ladder.

I did not make it to the party.

I fell from the top of the ladder, landing w all of my weight on my right ankle. I’d never broken a bone before but immediately I knew something was Wrong. My ankle looked very wobbly and I started going into shock from the pain. Speaking of which, we couldn’t move me in any capacity without me being in immense pain, so after about 40 minutes of trying to avoid it, we finally had to suck it up and call the paramedics to help me get down the three flights of stairs. Once at the hospital, I was told my ankle had fractured in 2 places and it would need some minor surgery to be repaired.

This was very wrong, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Long story short, the hospital I was taken to is a ‘learning hospital,’ and by that I mean its where kids from the medical school across the way go to intern or whatever it is u call a med student working. I only mention this bc they did such a bad job. for one, setting my leg was just about the worst pain I’d ever been in in my life, even worse than the actual fall, and for two, they actually set it wrong the first time so they had to cut the first cast off and then set it again.Also they were wrong about how many fractures I had. I didn’t have two fractures, I had three.

The hospital also failed to tell me that in order for said surgery to take place, I would have to keep my leg elevated at all times so as to avoid swelling and infection. So I didn’t. In fact by the time Monday rolled around I just went to school. This was a huge mistake.

Fast forward a couple days to me seeing the surgeon and him telling me the hospital did a super bad job and it was so swollen that if he operated as it was I was just asking for it to get infected. So instead, I underwent a different surgery so I could get this thing put on:

Its called an external fixator and basically what it did was realign everything and hold it tightly in place until all the swelling went down enough to go through with the actual surgery I needed. I don’t even know exactly how it worked or what it really looked like under all those wraps but what I do know is there was a metal bar going through the back of my ankle and also another one screwed into my tibia.

Also I haven’t been able to attend my summer classes that are mandatory to my program because I need to have my ankle elevated above my heart at all times now. I’ve hardly left the bed in weeks. Luckily my teachers have been working with me and I’ve been able to work from home for the most part.

Thats beside the point. Fast forward again to Wednesday when the external fixator comes off and they replace it with some internal fixation. i.e. screws and plates. Many of them.

At first the pain wasn’t so so bad because I had a nerve block in place that made the whole thing numb. but once that wore off 24 hours later, I was more or less in the worst pain of my life. Worse than the break itself. Worse than when they set it in the hospital. Worse than anything. When I woke up that morning I threw up just becuase of how much pain I was in. Later on in the day I couldn’t even see straight. At one point I couldn’t do anything but scream for two hours until the huge dose of medication finally kicked in enough to knock me out. I felt horrible for my family who could do nothing but sit by me and watch, unable to do anything more.

Luckily the surgeon said the worst of it would be over after the first three days passed, and we’re officially on day 3. So here’s to hoping I never have to deal with pain that intense ever again.

That being said, I’m still taking a crazy amount of medication. I’m talking like. 8 different kinds of pills. maybe more. I’m barely ever awake for more than two hours at a time before I pass right back out again. And even during those waking hours my head is fuzzy and its hard to concentrate. You have no idea how hard I had to work just to type all this up. I almost fell asleep two times while writing it. What I mean is, I’m going to be pretty sparse around here until that gets settled and I can actually see the keys I’m typing with. Please forgive me if replies are slow and/or hard to understand. I’m doing my best.

Thank you for all the well-wishes and support you guys have shown me so far. I love you all very dearly <3

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decadenttimetravelmentality-blog · 6 years ago

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oregon insurance jobs

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I'm 19 and had my NY license for 1 year now. I am a male and um I'm not looking for an expensive car. just a cheap one under 10g

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oregon insurance jobs

Car Insurance question?

I live on a very busy side street where there is more cars owned by people that live on the street than there is parking spaces for these cars. I am just wondering if i have to park my car on the road around the corner fron where i live is the insurance still vaild if it gets stolen, because when i took out the insurance i was asked where is the car kept over night? and i said on the street where i live""

Is It A Good Idea To Get Rental Car Insurance?

I was posed that question yesterday when I rented a car.

Will my parents' insurance rates go up?

I recently got 2 traffic tickets (1 for speeding and 1 for disobeying a traffic control device). However, the car I am driving is registered under my parents' policy and I am not the primary driver for it. Will my parent's insurance rates go up because of this, or will this only affect my driving record?""

Insurance rates on classic sports cars for new drivers?

obviously, insurance rates are higher for new drivers and even more so if they drive a sports car, but aren't rates lower on classic cars? if so does the reduction make up for the car being a sports car? for example, a 1965 Ford Mustang.""

Why my car insurance coming so expensive?

I am in leeds and thinking of buying a car but when i am searching all comparison websites its coming about 1000 pounds a month. I have 3-4 yrs expierience in driving in USA and i was paying there like 30 pounds per month. I talked with insurance company and they are saying that because i just came to UK as well as have international licence its coming that high my car comes in group 17 of insurance. Any other solutions for these? if people are new here i dont think they are paying these much every month Please if you know any good agent who can reduce these let me know. Else can i take insurance from usa or my home country India?

""What type of Health Insurance is good for me? As far as deductibles, office visit, and coinsurance.?""

I want to get a Health Insurance for me and my family? I am self employed and therefore cannot get Health Insurance through my employer. I am 57 years old and my wife is close to my age, and will be visiting doctors' office more than 5 times a year. I am confused as to which type of insurance is the best choice for someone in my situation.""

Cavity/No Health Insurance?

So my tooth is freaking killing me, ouch pain....but my problem is i currently don't have dental insurance. Does anyone know on average how much it would cost to go to the dentist to have a cavity fixed with out insurance? HELP!""

On average how much is car insurance if you've been in an accident and?

I wasn't speeding, I didn't slow down enough to make a turn on a back road ( I didn't notice how sharp it was) and swerved off the road. how much more will insurance be for me now if I find an alright vehicle. (And I know it is really bad when your young, I'm 18, so I know it will be high as is, and because of this I know it will be way higher, I just need a basic idea of how high it will be and for how long. I've never been pulled over before, nor do I speed.)""

On average how much more is insurance when you add a teen driver?

I am 17 and I've taken driving lessons( I heard insurance give like a little discounts) if this matters.

Could someone please explain health insurance to me?

Difference between PPO HMO DRG Private insurance, and deductibles I read it in my textbook but all these terms I'm not very familiar with so no matter how much I re-read the paragraphs I'm still a bit confused... I might sound stupid but oh well! Clarify for me please! Thanks for all who answer""

Insurance?

If Im 17 and have my license, can I drive my friends car with insurance? or do I have to also have it?""

Cheap Driving Insurance - Can anyone get me a better deal??

ok my mother (48 been driving for around 23 years 8 years no claims) is the owner/driver i am a named driver (21 with 6 points) been driving under 1 year because i got license revoked and had to resit my tests The Car is a fiat brava 1.4 red 5 door 5 seats worth about 1000GBP cheapest quote i can get is with the AA 600 comprehensive is there anyone who can get it any cheaper???

Is motor insurance compulsory in most states of the USA?

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a young and new driver?

So I 'm 18 years old and thinking about getting a sports bike. I have a drives license and haven't gotten any tickets yet. I just want an estimate on how much i'd be paying in insurance every year..and which insurance company provides the best price? I'am thinking of buying a used sports bike but am not sure on which one yet. Thank you in advance and If you don't have anything nice to say please just move along lol:))

How can I get the best quote for a car insurance in the UK?

I have just bought a car, but I haven't driven since I moved to London, 5 years ago. I am doing a research on-line to get the best quote, but they all seem to be a bit pricey. Does anybody know a telephone number in the UK where a person (rather than a machine!) can find the best deal? I am tired of websites such as moneysupermarket, as you end up having to contact companies individually... Any help would be greatly appreciated as I would like to bring the car home today!! Many thanks in advance!!""

Can you get car Insurance with No Bank Account?

My question is would it be a problem to obtain car insurance without having a bank account, my credit is in the toilet because someone ran up my debit card and the over draft fees forced the account closed, and now the bank is asking for $600.00, and I can't afford to pay that off with the kind of salary I have, so can anyone let me know if their would be any difficulty in just paying in cash or perhaps money orders or even a check in someone elses name?? thanks""

Would someone's car insurance cover....?

a banana (yes dont ask) being flung into the grill of the car, being sucked into the engine and other parts and causing damages worth about 15-17 grand? a friend threw a banana at a guys car and it did as described and im praying that the guy's insurance would cover it so that he gets off with a manageable fine. if he cant pay the guy, hell end up doing time which i really dont want to see him do. :( pleae HELP this is a serious question unfortunately :(""

Scooter Insurance Certificate ?

How long would it take to receive a Insurance Certificate through the post ? And can it be done through Email ? I need to know because im dong my CBT soon but my bike has no TAX at the moment. And can anyone recommend a good CHEAP insurance company ? Thank You Very Much James

How much does liability insurance cost for a night club business?

I'm trying to get a night club business started and i need insurance how much does it normally cost? and what kind do you recommend getting?

Life Insurance for my family?

I'm trying to figure out if it will be worth to get life insurance for my family? Now, when I say family I mean my parents and siblings. I'm only concern with getting something that's affordable like term insurance I didn't hear to many good things about whole insurance.""

Questions about sr22 insurance?

I have a sr22 insurance with arizona and I just got a california license if I cancell my sr22 with arizona and get regular insurance with california can arizona suspend my california license if so how? A little more information my car is registered in california and I live in califoria not arizona

Need cheap insurance?

I make 12.50 per hour and I work for a small company our insurance really sux and it is exspensive I have a wife and a 3 year old daughter I am 21 and my wife is 20 and we live in Michigan is there some kinda of insurance that is cheap and reletivley good please help. Also vision and dental but health most of all. Maybe even some secret government help or something I just need some finicial help really

Is car insurance very high in California?

Are you glad you have individual Health Plan?

I work freelance and I am looking into getting a health care plan. I haven't had medical insurance since elementary school but now that I'm approaching mid 20s, I wanted to prepare for the emergency, the 'just-in-case' situation. My problem is that I have a very negative impression on the insurance business and health care itself. I've gone to health clinic from a floating rib and I paid $300 to be told that I need to get tylenol LOL My relatives and friend went through some misdiagnose, multiple exams and charges. Some friends go through such a bull5hit time - one friend was charged $500 to borrow a blanket in the waiting room at a health care clinic and all she had to do was make a call and complain to cancel the full amount. We were baffled So.. they get paid $500 for lending a blanket? They take the $500 away if we complain? It's like complaining at a restaurant LOL!!! I maybe ignorant, but it makes me so upset to see people without insurance having such a hard time affording health care. Health care and insurance makes me feel like I'm giving into a manipulative scam - like buying a $120 clothing that only costs $5 to make. But incase I break my face crashing on my bicycle, I guess I need one. $500 for a blanket? I wonder how much X ray actually costs to buy, operate, and maintain. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it. Anyhow, I know I'm ignorant, please enlighten me. Any positive experience on having affordable individual plan would be great. Thanks in advance.""

Question about getting car insurance for mil!?

Long story short my mother in law lost her car insurance and can't afford to get insurance back my question is can my husband put her and her car under our insurance?!?

oregon insurance jobs

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/jaguar-7-day-free-insurance-priscilla-glenn/"

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