#man it's been so long since i've written i forgot how i tag things lmao

[97-liners]

HMMMMM in regards to the requests with the weird stuff . im throwing u my pitch of an idea i had but i doubt i’ll ever get to writing but . something dark with joseon era lord!jeonghan? like he’s infamously known amongst the townspeople to never cross him because he’s always a hairtrigger away from going axe-crazy and killing anyone who gets on his bad side . but then you’re also his morality pet who he loves oh so dearly . idk. jeonghan with a glint in his eye and with blood smeared on his face and his sword dripping crimson but then he always caresses your cheek and greets you gently and softly. IDK.

teehee cat here u go sorry it took a week

lord!jeonghan x maid(?) reader | warning for horror i guess | words: 1k

it happened again.

you can tell because the servants are pale as they rush around, murmuring in hushed voices. one of the new kitchen maids looks absolutely terrified as she brushes past you. “–d you see? …covered in blood, and he was still–”

“enough,” the old housekeeper snaps. “hurry and draw a bath for young master yoon. and tell the laundry to prepare vinegar and cold water.”

(it’s been years since jeonghan has been young master yoon, but sometimes you think that grandfather seo looks at jeonghan and sees the person he used to be. grandfather seo had always been so affectionate, too sentimental beneath his cantankerous facade.)

you watch, silently, as the kitchen maids clutch at their sleeves and bow their heads before hurrying to their duties. nobody spares you a glance, not even grandfather seo. instead, he sighs heavily and sits on one of the ornate granite stools in the courtyard, groaning as his joints creak. 

hot water, you think. one of the kitchen maids should bring him a basin of hot water and a towel for his bad back. you can imagine the thick, humid air of the kitchen, the large glazed jug resting on the stove, always filled with water and piping hot, ready for whoever needs it. the smell of the straw fire, the smoke stinging at your eyes. but instead of walking the familiar path back, you gather your robes and walk towards the main house. 

(there was a time when you were a maid too, with chapped hands and the persistent smell of smoke clinging to your clothes. but it’s been years since you stepped into the kitchen. you hold a strange position in this house– not a servant anymore, but not a lady either. something in between. a pet, they used to sneer. the young master’s beloved, grandfather seo says.)

the moonlight-sheer silk of your outer robes flutter in the wind as you make your way across the courtyard and under the arch separating the back of the manor from the front. the sun is setting now, and the sky is bloody red, making your white robes glow scarlet. 

jeonghan sits in his private chambers, legs crossed, elbow propped against his desk. there are no servants here– nobody is brave, or foolish, enough to cross jeonghan’s path when he’s in such a state. the sliding door leading to the gardens is open, and as soon as he sees you rounding the corner, his expression brightens.

“oh, my little dove,” he calls out to you, tilting his head affectionately. “i’ve missed you all day.”

you smile, hands clasped, as you make your way towards him. “good evening, my lord. did you just return?”

jeonghan looks like a disaster. his celadon-blue robes are covered in blood, soaked into the heavy silk like ink stains. there’s blood spattered on his cheek and on his hands, and he’s still carrying his sword, unsheathed, covered in gore. 

you carefully step up onto the threshold of the room, holding the hem of your skirts out of the way. they swirl like gossamar as you walk towards him and take a seat at his side.

jeonghan finally takes the cloth off his desk and begins to wipe the blood off his sword, like a ritual. “where have you been all day?”

“i apologize for my absence, my lord,” you say as you begin to pour him tea. white tea, his favorite. “i was feeling weak this morning, so i rested.”

“my poor darling,” he croons, pausing to lift his hand to your cheek. the blood has dried now and flakes off his skin like rust. impossibly gently, he strokes his fingers down the line of your jaw, as if to reassure you. you imagine the blood smearing in streaks. 

swallowing down the lump in your throat, you smile at him again and present him his tea. “it’s nothing to worry about.”

jeonghan sighs, but he doesn’t take his tea. “you know i worry, though. how can i not?”

“you’re too good to me,” you mumble, looking away.

“never.” the tender, loving way he tucks your hair behind your ear is at odds with the scent of blood and gore on his hands. he tilts his head into your field of vision in that silly way that he always does, smiling even as his hair falls into his face. 

“i heard about what you did today,” you say quietly.

jeonghan’s smile falters for just a moment, but it passes in a blink of an eye. “don’t fret, darling. you know i don’t kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”

of course, jeonghan’s grasp of morality isn’t quite all that… there. at least, not these days. you wonder how much he had to torture today’s poor victim before he got the confession he wanted to hear, regardless of whether it was true or not. 

“you’re unhappy.” jeonghan frowns. “please trust me.”

“i do,” you tell him. it’s a lie, and you know he can tell. 

“i swear.” his hand closes around yours, leaving rust-colored smears of blood on the white silk of your sleeve. “i won’t rest until i’ve fulfilled my promise. you remember that, don’t you?”

(you remember. by the time he finds you, it’s too late. you stare up at grey clouds, lightening with daybreak, eyes open but not seeing. who did this, he asks, but you can’t answer.

jeonghan has never begged before, but he’s on his knees now, gripping your shoulders, begging you. the great lord yoon pleading to a mere servant girl who somehow became something precious to him. he makes the promise right then and there. revenge.)

there’s no point. you want to tell him, but you can’t, so you just smile at him and squeeze his hand in return. your dear jeonghan, too cunning and vengeful for his own good. 

he’ll find out eventually, you’re sure because jeonghan always finds out in the end, that the man who killed you had drowned in the river later that same night, his head held down under the water as he struggled. all the desperation in the world is nothing in the face of a vengeful spirit. 

(you had waited until he stopped moving, and then you counted to 100 after that just to make sure, and then you watched as the body was carried by the water out of town, out towards the sea.

and then when you were done, you turned back and stepped out of the river. you needed to be back at the manor by daybreak. you weren’t supposed to be out, and jeonghan would be upset to find you gone.

the sun was rising.)

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

-- If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

“Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”

-- On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

and as for poetry, i like to talk about "Written in my Dreams by W. C. Williams" by Allen Ginsberg with other people because it's short and rolls over the tongue nicely and i like to come back to it, puts a smile on my face, you know?

i'll also never forget "A Carcass" by Charles Baudelaire from when we read it at school years ago and then again in high school and i have now chosen Les Fleurs du mal as one of the books for my oral school leaving exam, so it's definitely one of those authors i read once and was never able to get out of my head

and last but not least, Louise Glück (may she rest in peace) and her "Theory of Memory" which includes the ending "Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream." and i simply don't have a choice but to love this one

i have so many more favourites, but these are the ones i can think of right now hehe <33

what r ur favourite poems and quotes??

those are brilliant actually

mine are quite, different to what one may think but i like finding meaning in things that other people think are only surface level :

思い出なんか いらん - we don't need memories

this is from the anime haikyuu LMAO which is a fucking volleyball anime and it is the team motto of one of the teams. It is quite honestly my life motto at this point. I used to live in the past, excused people for thing they do now because they were different in the past. they were different in my memories. I was so focused on the past i forgot to enjoy my present. I am done doing that. My memories hold me back. I am tired of it.

"to love and lose and still be kind" - warsan shire

this is pretty self explanatory. i dont think I've had a hard life. but i certainly haven't had an easy one. i have a habit of giving too much of myself to people. I'm working on rectifying that whilst still being kind.

"but i cut people out like tags on my clothing" - conan gray

I LOVE people watching its one of my favourite songs. but this line is really important to me. I've cut the tags off of my clothing for as long as I can remember. ever since i was a kid. I also have a habit of cutting out people the second they break my trust. as easy as cutting off tags from my clothing. I don't think its a good habit or a bad habit. it just. is.

"It's always the ones who are quietest who often have the greatest things to say" - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This is from one of my favourite books of all time. I was a quiet child for a while. I never got excited for anything and after a while my parents suspected I had childhood depression, we still don't know for sure if I did. It makes a lot of sense though. It took me a while to become confident in my own voice and my own opinions. this quote is really important to me.

"Men don't cry. My daddy taught me that. Men don't cry because they don't have time to cry.

I must not have been a man yet because I cried. I bowed my head and cried." - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This isn't personal to me in anyway, I just really, really love this part of the book and these two lines in particular.

"I'll be your hands." "I'll be your sanity." - TJ Klune, Ravensong

love has always been something I've read about. but this quote takes the damn cake.

as for poems,

At a Funeral by Dennis Brutus

I analyzed this poem for an English Lit class and the story behind why it was written really stuck with me. It was written after the death of Valencia Majombozi who was shot on the day of her graduation from nursing school. Its a protest poem and it just hits really fucking hard.

Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney

This was the first poem that i ever took inspiration from. I had of course written before, but I really enjoyed Heaney's writing style so it strongly influenced my poem Quietude, which I am planning to submit to the empty inkwell publication...hopefully lol

Identity Card by Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is written as a form of protest poetry as well. Mahmoud Darwish was a Palestinian poet, for those of you who do not know and he wrote this poem about being asked for his identity card by Israeli Officers. Its really, really good.

[starfolk7]

1 for Lies of P and your other fandoms (how yould you forget Pino and friends? xD)

Omg you're right I blanked and forgot to list that in the tags MY BAD JFHDHD

1. List 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

I guess I'm gonna organize these by fandom lol

Pokemon:

- Diversity! Since it's been around for so long, there's tons of fics to read. If you can think of it, someone has probably written it. There's a Mewtwo fic I found in college that's basically a retelling of the events of the first movie, but holy shit it's written so beautifully it made me cry in front of my friends rjrhdgde. It's a dense read, but still one of my absolute favorite fics to this day. That's just an example of things you can find!

- Sub-fan bases. Basically, if you're a big fan of a certain Pokémon, a type of Pokémon, one of the games, etc., you're going to find your people very easily. Kind of falls under the first one a bit but ya know lol.

- Some of the cutest and also the most badass fanart comes out of this fandom. I have both art of a Sylveon with a lollipop and art of Mewtwo breaking out of their armor from the first movie. The duality of man djrhdgs

SoulsBorne

-Maybe I've gotten lucky and just found really nice people, but so far my experiences in the community have been largely positive! I've met some of the loveliest people by posting my Dark Souls and Bloodborne fics, and it really got me back into writing OCs again (you know that's my lifeblood lol)

-Character and lore analyses. Not that I agree with all of them, of course I don't, but if you want an analyses of anything in these games, there's some mad lad out there that's done it, whether it's a post or through an entire fic. Gives you tons to think about!

-ART!! Holy shit there's so many amazing artists in this community. We don't talk about how much SoulsBorne art I've snagged at conventions (I got more of it and Elden Ring stuff at Magfest don't look at me fjfhdhd)

Lies of P

-I haven't been in this fandom for long, but so far everyone I've met has been very sweet! They're also super OC-friendly. I can't tell you how many Stalker and Puppet OCs I've seen, among others, it's really amazing!

-Probably gonna say this for all of my fandoms but the ART OMG. There's so much gorgeous fanart floating around for this game it's insane. Still on the hunt for more Romeo pieces tho rjrhehe

-Headcanon diversity. Do you want a totally mute P? One that talks sometimes? One that's Had Enough? What I'm getting at is there's a P out there for everyone! People have been exploring all the different character angles on him and it's wonderful to see.

Ultrakill

-THE HYPE. Since this is an early access game still in development, the hype that cranks up every time an update is announced is INSANE. I don't think I've ever seen this level of it for an indie game. I got in just in time to witness this for the Violence update and the rush it gives you seeing everyone so excited is amazing!! It helps that every single update has just been an absolute banger. We have reason to be super excited, the devs do stellar work!!

-LORE. Do you wanna feel like Charlie at the corkboard in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Because that's where I'm definitely at right now. Since we're in the last act of the game, there's so much speculation and so many theories about how the game will end. On top of that, people have been playing in the lore sandbox ever since this game started. I know I've def been up at night wondering how the hierarchy of Heaven works and what certain layers of Hell were like before Certain Events TM (I'm being vague because I know at least one person wants to play this bear with me lol). Basically there's tons to explore and the community collectively goes insane about different bits, we have fun here lmao

-I'm bundling art and memes into this one because oh my GOD. The tonal whiplash is a rollercoaster ride. You can go from the most heart-wrenching art of Gabriel you've ever seen to a piece that goes "V1 is a shrimp now" and sometimes you just need that snap back to some levity. The memes are absolutely top-tier. It helps that the voice actor for Gabriel already does memes and shitposts on his YouTube channel, so he just carries that over for Ultrakill stuff sometimes and y'know what? This game is dark, I'm gonna need these memes for when the ending makes me bawl like a baby. The Violence layer already has me feeling the creeping sense of dread (if you know you KNOW).

[4th-make-quail]

Asks for a Fic Writer!

Tagged by @eemamminy-art and @nateharmonica thank you!!

--

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 138! Which is weird cos it feels like only 2 minutes ago I was excited about hitting 100 lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 401,149 total

3. what fandoms do you write for? My top 5 written for fandoms are FFXIV (27), Resident Evil (26), FFXII (15), inFamous (13) and FFXV (13)! But I have a load of others as well - atm it's Baldur's Gate 3, alternated with my perennial beloved FFXII

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? Point of No Return - Resident Evil, Chris/Wesker, time travel fix-it fic Aphrodisiac - Overwatch, Reaper/Soldier 76, collaring and gloves kink Like a Drug - Resident Evil, Chris/Wesker, STARS era drug bust Filters - FFXV, Prompto/Ignis, 5 things fic about Prompto's photo taking Between Death and Ascension - Magnus Archives, Jon/Gerry, post season 3 fix it that got immediately jossed upon s4 releasing lol. Honestly I'm amazed this one is here, considering Jon/Gerry is a bit of a rarepair. Or at least, it was back then!! I have no idea of the current state of TMA fandom (and don't wanna know, ugh lmao)

5. do you respond to comments? Always as a rule, but usually quite a long time after I get them lksgfg

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Has to be From the Flames of the Fire, I Feel You, part 4 of my Sartauvoir/Basch series, because it's the fic where Basch dies at the end, and it finishes off with a notice from Noah about the death and funeral arrangements. I cried on my lunch break at work writing this fucker lmao

8. do you get hate on fics? I've not had anything since my ffn days, where I got a very mean comment about OOC. I mean, it was true, but MAN.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? It's very rare that I don't write smut! I think the yuletide fic I wrote was the first time in years lol. Either way, I like to write kinky porn with feelings and character study shit

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? Not any more, but the craziest crossover with the most specific-ass audience was a British Comedy RPF crossed with FFX, where David Mitchell is a summoner and Charlie Brooker and Robert Webb are his guardians. It's called Spira Infinita, and I never did end up finishing it lmao. Oops. Either way, I had a blast writing it and I still think it was fucking good, all 9 kudos of it!! God... this just made me remember I also wrote a brooker/mitchell crossover with mgs. I was on some shit back then I tell you what

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of! I'm not big enough for that, I think

12. have you ever had a fic translated? I thiiiink someone once asked me, but I forgot which fic it was tbh!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes!! I co-wrote one of my fave Ashe/Basch/Vossler fics with my friend when we got assigned each other for an ff_land exchange - Five Moments of Desire. It was really fun, we had a great time!

14. what's your all-time favourite ship? GOD this is hard!!! I think Nero/Credo tbh, I never get tired of thinking about them, even as sadly underrated as they are. Also Sartauvoir/Basch is highly up there, I've never been seized with such an insane streak of inspiration for a ship. They got me in their clutches and no mistake!!

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't actually have much in the way of wips, but I do have 5k of a Sart/Basch AU where Sart channels his fenex summoning to bring Basch back to life, but it stalled a little due to a combo of scheduling for other things, other ships taking over my brain for a bit, and honestly the general lack of fandom for them? I have a few close friends I met because of the ship, but getting such low response to things is really demoralising and makes it hard to continue. I DO want to finish it for sure, but atm I am too gripped by other ships so idk if it'll happen.

16. what are your writing strengths? I think dialogue for sure, and characterisation.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Fight scenes x_x Which is annoying, because I love them and have a lot of sparring/fighting related kinks!!! I persevere, but I hate every moment of writing them lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Uhh nothing I've ever done! I think it'd be fine if you're fluent in that language OR if you have a trusted friend who is, who can give you actual sense-making sentences, but otherwise, do not!

19. first fandom you wrote for? Baby's first fandom was handwritten Redwall/Discworld crossover in reporter's notebooks as a very young child, but my first fandom-fandom was ffvii, where I wrote a frankly terrible Reno/Vincent fic! And idek why cos I don't ship it at all? I think I just had a boner for both of them and wanted to get it out. It is still on ffn alas, but eugh.

20. favourite fic you've written? Honestly I think it's my SartBasch series, Body Politics. It caters directly to my own id, and I think it's really good! I actually planned it out as a cohesive series AND actually finished writing it! Proud of myself lol. And I just.... *clenches fist* love those old men.....

----- tagging people, if u wanna do this, then consider urself tagged!!