#man I wish we could've at least seen him with the coat on!

[moltage]

i forgot Matt Ryan and Sope Dirisu (the next John Constantine we almost had if the HBO show wasn't cancelled) both played in The Halcyon

[blvdymary]

Tore Me Apart.

pairing: Robert Fischer x Reader

Summary: Oh, to be loved the way you love.

Genre: Angst, infidelity.

Word count: 1k

Note: Sometimes you and I are the same person.

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

You were married to one of the richest men in America. Robert Fischer, he was seen as a gentleman by lots and desired by others. Not you, though. This marriage was one of convenience. Arranged by both your parents, a marriage without any love is not a healthy one. You knew that very well, but of course, like the good obedient daughter you are, you had no say in this arrangement.

You kept a diary since the day you married him. It was a big and glamourous wedding, don't get me wrong—just no passion. Staring into his mesmerising eyes, no spark, no joy, no love. You didn't love him either. You didn't need someone's love to stay alive, right? Of course not.

Sleeping in separate beds, sitting at opposite sides of the dinner table, not talking. Just eating. You couldn't believe this was how you were going to live for the rest of your life. Once in a while, you guys had to make an appearance in front of the public to let people know you guys were "happy" and "perfect for each other", not knowing you'd cry yourself to sleep begging and praying to God for a loving marriage one day. You knew it wasn't going to be this one, maybe the next? Hopefully the next. That is, if you could divorce Robert and set yourself free from this agonising dream you thought would be a fairytale.

Work was, of course, a priority to both of you. You'd usually come home later—not that he cared. It was one of those days, you opened the front door to your shared penthouse, leaving your coat at the coat hanger before walking into the kitchen. Oh, you wish you didn't. There he was, with a woman you never saw before, smiling, laughing, loving her. He didn't even notice you approaching till you cleared your throat to let them know you were, indeed, home.

"Excuse me, what's going on here..?" you spoke with betrayal in your voice, even though you knew he didn't love you, you never thought he was that kind of man. A cheater.

"What are you doing here?" He said, with a stern voice. What am I doing here? You're the one who brought a strange woman into OUR house, Robert. You looked over at the woman, her short blonde hair tied into a small, messy bun. She wasn't wearing anything under, just one of Robert's shirts that he'd be on your ass all day if you dared to touch.

"Care to explain?" You glared at him with hatred in your eyes, even though your voice was betraying the sorrow you felt at that moment. He dared to roll his eyes at this situation, talking as if it was your fault, as if you were the one who cheated. "What did you expect? You know for a fact that I never loved you, Why are you so surprised?" Oh. You could've at least lied, Robert.

"But—" He didn't even let you finish your sentence before he spoke in an annoyed manner. "We should just— you know? Divorce already."

And just like that, you found yourself in the court, standing in front of your soon-to-be ex-husband. He didn't care, at all. All he wanted at this moment was to go back to the woman you caught him with. Why do they always pick the other woman..?

"What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me? Am I unloveable? Oh, of course, I am. I can't believe I thought someone would love me with the mental state I'm in. I'm my father's daughter. I can't handle rejection. Oh, to be the center of attention. All I crave is someone to care about me once in a while. please. I'm miserable."

Your eyes dazed across the lines you wrote in your diary. No time for me, all the time in life for her.

"You slept peacefully knowing I was crying for you."

You felt your eyes water, what was wrong with you? Thinking loving a dying man would work out. You continued scribbling your thoughts, your heartaches away onto this very piece of paper.

"I always wondered how it felt like to be loved by you, knowing you only loved her and not me, broke me. By the way, I loved you wholeheartedly, I'm being serious. I wish someone loved me the same way I loved him. Oh to be cherished even in your darkest days, to be cared for is to be known. You didn't even know my birthday let alone my middle name. I was a fool to think you'd change, maybe I was the problem all along. I'll never have your love to keep, rot away in the lonely prison I created for myself."

Alone, again.

You threw the diary across the room, plopping your face into the soft pillow. Maybe this will help you with your problems, to cry and sleep. He made you feel like a 14-year-old girl once again, not in a good way though. The days when you used to cry yourself to sleep thinking you didn't deserve to be loved. In time, you learned to love yourself, until he destroyed that too.

It has been a while, hasn't it? Almost 7 months, wow. Only you could wish it had. It wasn't even Friday yet. You wrote in your diary like a crazy ex. You weren't though, right? No. He wasn't worth your time, then why do you keep writing? I don't really know… How am I supposed to know what's going on inside me when I can't feel alive?

"You told her 'I used her to forget you' while saying ' You're the best thing that has happened to me, baby' to me. Why not me, why her?"

Why am I unhappy? You wouldn't understand, you wouldn't understand...You caused great suffering. I wish you to be happy my darling, even if I'm not around, smile, be glad. A pair of crying eyes, you left them behind, to make another pair smile.

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

taglist: @hiraethberry @1-fuzzy-squirrels @justcallme1anangel @tejasvkris @rosierosem @meowsicles39

[vinetae]

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Angst, Suggestive content, established relationship, 18+

Summary: The man you once knew has drifted further than you could've ever thought. Now, the battle between keeping your past in the past is set in front of you.

Warnings: Angst, some smut (not at all barely, I'm very disapointed in myself lol), cursing, and some harsh words said on both ends.

A/n: This started out as a unrequested request from this little snippet of a short story, but I was feeling a little angsty so.. uhm- sorry author-nim. Hopefully I didn't butcher your idea 😂

------

The cherry blossom trees dance across the thinned air. Seoul’s N tower lights up the whole city it seemed like. Your heart felt too warm, and too cold all in one. The night’s tinted shadows lurk beneath, seeking out their next victim to claim. The stars hung high in the dark, decorated in specks of hope. Each one, having at least a thousand wishes upon. People had been funny like that. No other animal made wishes to clouds of gas in the sky. 

We’re we really that desperate?

..

A chill prowls around the cold apartment. However in this moment, you had been at your warmest. The bright smile tugged on his lips, as his cheeks flushed rosy against the breeze from the outside world. 

“What do you think?” His question makes your head tilt. Scanning over the small one bed-room apartment, with a few doors branching off the sides. You’d kept the negative thoughts to yourself. 

“It’s cute.” You reply, fingertips dancing across the counter’s edges to drag along a thin strip of dust and grime with you. Namjoon’s arms come to cling around your figure, silently pleading for you to approve of this place. Mainly because he had already put down the deposit. 

“What’s wrong?” The plump of his lips brush along your neck, his nose burying itself into the dips along your shoulders that keep your body upright. Head tilts to the side, letting off a small breath. 

“Nothing,” You comment, feeling the way his large digits trail up the plains of your skin, leaving burning strips of heat in their place. Even with the broken radiator and Korea’s worst winter storm yet outside, your body felt like it had been set on fire. 

Every soft breath rolled against your neck, pulled you more  under the spell he’d cast. His hips pressed flush against your back, swaying you to the imaginary melody he’d been softly dancing to. Bodies faced the large window, coated with a sheet of ice to block out any sights from other tenants. It was the most beautiful view you’d seen. 

“This is our life, baby.” The wooden floors creaked to wear off their new, hardly walked upon cracks. The last time he’d held you like this was the night he’d caught you crying in the bathroom, phone clutched in hand as your mother had given you the bad news. The funeral was held a few days later. You hadn’t really had the best relationship with your father, but he had still been kin. 

Namjoon has been so supportive during those tough times. Asking if you had needed anything, while you just curled up under the covers and let yourself feel the pain. Sat outside your dorm, back pressed against the wall as he just listened to the sounds of soft cries. A few hours later, the door cracked open, pulling him inside for a night for forgetting. 

His hand reaches back, turning on a cute little classical he’d been so obsessed with lately. Hand extends, gracefully holding you up by the weight of your own arm lifted from its lowered position as he spins you lightly on the wooden floor. Giggles and smiles fill the once cold atmosphere, warming any and every inch of that house with your love. 

Your arms take to snake around his neck as his rest at your hips. “You know what? I changed my mind.” He smiles, lowering his face to meet your height. 

“About?” 

“This place.” 

“Oh?”

“Mmhm.”

“Do tell, my princess~” He teases, nipping at the dangle of your earlobe making you giggle. Your head pulls away, catching his soft gaze with your own. 

“It’s not so bad.” You smile, releasing his grip as you plop down onto the little sofa the landlord had offered up to Namjoon. 

“Told you-” His eyes blow wide, admiring the lengths of your midi-skirt trailing up the length of your thighs, courtesy of your hands. The black tights you’d thrown on made the lump in his throat even harder to pill down. 

Your head is thrown to the side, bracing yourself up on your elbows. The position had been nothing short of ‘paint me like one of your French girls’. As if reading your mind, he bites back. 

“Eager to break in the sofa already, my dear?” He threw his puffer jacket to the side, letting it land somewhere near the built-in electric stove. Your legs part to allow him some space to move between. Your innocent expression fires the first shot. 

“Well I know one thing that’s going down.”

___________

Your eyes watch as the minute hand ticks by the 12 for the third time tonight. The dinner set feastly-like on the table had gone cold. 

“He’s still not there?” Jimin quirks back, a confused tone hones his voice. The crack on your own had been threatening to peep out in hurt. 

“I haven't seen him all day, Jimin, I’m getting worried.” Namjoon had promised he’d be back by now from the office. Once ‘now’ had hit, you decided to call his phone. Seven missed calls later, and a cracked screen from tossing it over across the wall had left your energy and patience running low. 

“I’m sure he’s fine, Noona. He was saying something about the big line-up starting tomorrow. Our dick of a sponsor probably held him up to discuss the details of launch.” You sigh, back plopping against the stiff of the dining chairs Namjoon had been too busy to help you pick out. 

..

“How about this one?” 

“Sounds great.” 

“Ooo, but this has the cross-hatching design you love.” 

“U-huh.” His head was glued to the brightly lit screen sitting in his lap. You huff, shoving the phone into view so you knew he’d be able to see it. 

“These are black.” His head tilts to the side, pushing your phone out of view as his fingers tap against the keys in eager to get out all of his ideas. 

“Love that one.” He replies flatly , scrolling along the blog that’d been published about his company this past weekend. 

“Oh and these can transform into unicorns!” 

“You know me best, babe.” His flat tone makes your blood boil. Standing, you throw your phone into his lap which makes him startle. 

“I’m gonna go shower.” His head lowers back down, immersing himself into the little laptop that’d been getting more attention this past week than he’d given you all month. 

“Love you.” He calls back, wishing a good shower, nose diving back down into the little article.

..

Tossing the cold food into the trash, you start to tidy up the kitchen before heading back to your shared bedroom.  

Your back is the comfort of your freshly washed sheets, tearing starting to threaten to fall. You’d ended the call with Namjoon’s best friend, Jimin, with a cold mute, wanting nothing more than to just wash off the embarrassment of today with a hot shower. 

However, after the energy you’d used up cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and waiting almost three hours for your boyfriend to walk through those doors, you’d decided to just wash off what little makeup you’d dolled up for him. Crawling under the comforters, your body starts to lull to sleep, replacing reality with a much more satisfying image. 

..

Namjoon’s back ached with pains from slouching at his desk for so long. You’d always gotten onto him for not wearing the posture-corrector you’d gotten him for Christmas last year, however he’d always forget to strap it on before work. Plus, he’d pointed out that through the white sheen of his button up, it had looked more like a corset than anything for just correcting one’s posture. 

Hands tired from having to sign so many documents for tomorrow’s launch for his company, he slightly winced from pain as he unbuttoned the clasps of his dress shirt. Trousers falling to circle around his ankles before slipping into the bed with exhaustion. The tips of his fingers drag across your exposed skin, a low groan rolls from his parted lips as your body shifts slightly to roll on your back. His eyes scan over the way your chest rises and fall with patterned breaths, the curvatures of your breasts following in lead. Your hair splayed out across the silks pillows you’d been so eager to open when Amazon had delivered. 

His lips lower, pressing soft kisse along the elongation of your neck, hot breaths roll off to meet with your even-tempered skin. A smirk presses his lips, grazing his fingers down to the elastic of your pajama shorts. You’d loved sleeping in loose silk pajamas, and he’d loved seeing the way your nipples pressed against the fabrics, giving him such an erotic sight. 

His open kisses run up to your cheek before swallowing your whole breaths in one gulp. Lips locked together in a one-sided exchange, nevertheless turning him on even more. His hips rise to grind gently to the skin of your outer thighs, rutting in need for some kind of release after the day he’s had. He knew the only remedy for his stress was in your touch. He however, felt a little sick from using you in such a way, especially when you’re unconscious. So, he decides for you to join. 

“Baby girl, wake up” He chuckles at the way your groan, a high-pitched whine echoed in the room as you turn to the side, facing away from his body. His heart shatters at the movement. You’d never turned away from him like this. Your favorite position was always having you tucked under his chin, face pressing into his chest as you fell asleep to the sound of his steadying heartbeat. 

Why was this different?

His hand comes up to gently shake you away, towering over your side, whispering into your ear softly. “Baby, come on. Let’s do it.”

He was startled from how awake your scoff had sounded. Your body rises up, an annoyed expression plasters your face. “Let’s do it? How fucking romantic.” His eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“I- didn’t know you wanted romance..” His voice lowers at the anger toned in your voice, clear and pissed. He watches your eyes roll back, scoffing at his retort. 

“Of course I want romance! Every girl wants romance!” Your legs swing to the side preparing to stand from the bed but he’s quick to catch your wrist in his to keep you from leaving. His eyes plead with begs for you to stay with him. 

“I-I’m sorry baby please.. How about we go on a date tomorrow?” Your arms crossing your chest, body extruding clear annoyance. His hold on your wrists squeeze gently with a silenced promise. 

“I’ll clear my schedule tomorrow.” 

“The launch.” 

His breath lowers to mumble a curse, thinking of a way to make it up to you. For.. whatever he’s done.

“Okay, then this weekend. You love Seoul tower, how about I schedule a tour?” 

“They don’t do tours for the tower, Joon.” 

His upper body rises to meet yours, using one of the throw pillows you’d bought online to cover up his cock that’d been poking at the comforter. Seeing his hard-on would only make you more angry, he’s sure of it. 

“Then.. We can go to the bridge. Didn’t they add locks that you can buy and put them on the walls of it?” 

“They took down Love Locks years ago. God, do you even pay attention anymore!?” He quickly rises from his spot on the bed, slipping on his pair of boxers from the floor quickly to follow you out into the living room. 

“Okay, okay! Just tell me where you want to go and I’ll call Jimin-” 

“Work work work! That’s all you ever fucking talk about! Even when we’re on dates, Namjoon!” Your eyes burned with passion and anger, much more than the tears he saw dripping down the sides of your cheeks. “When is it ever gonna be my turn, huh!?” Your breath starts to calm, body ridding itself of the emotional shakes it had been feeling for the past two minutes. With an even tone, you continue. “We haven’t had sex sex in almost a year, Namjoon! The only time we did was for me to just give you a hand job!” His eyes widened. 

“Well I was trying-” 

“No! That wasn’t making love, that was just you being a horny little bitch who just needed a good fuck!” You push at his chest, the tears flowing even harder down as he takes the little blows given. 

“Baby, I’m sorry- Things have just been really difficult at work and I’m sorry if I put you in second..” No matter how hard you hit at his chest, it would never even compare to how much his heart is breaking from seeing you cry. Seeing the reason you’re crying, is because of him. Of his job, his life. 

“Baby if you just give me a few more weeks to finish out these deals-” 

“I’ve waited two YEARS, namjoon! YEARS! I brought you lunch everyday, wrote you all those little fucking notes to help you make those deals! And you couldn’t even give me a single thank you.” His knuckles clenched at the side, anger now arising to combat your own. 

“You don’t think I thank you?! Look around, Y/n! I gave you everything!! Everything you have is because of ME!” You stop. His sentence finally seeps in, as you back away from his chest. The anger that had melted away his soft gaze fired back bullets you couldn’t dodge. You knew he held everything over you. That’s because you trusted him with everything. He knew your darkest secrets. Seen you at your worst times. He knew everything. 

And you fucking hated it. 

 Your hands catch the front door, having nothing more than anger and hatred towards the man you once called home. He felt so cold and distant. You didn’t love this man. 

You didn’t know this man. 

“Well, I guess you have everything now.”

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I watched: September 2023

Final bunch until I start my real big annual marathon! Here we go!

Night of the Demon (1957) So this is where the plots we've seen popularized in ones the Wicker Man and Drag Me to Hell came from. Personally, I prefer those, but probably because they were made in a time audiences could handle the leading man losing. Most of this movie is this smug know-it-all jackass mocking people for their religious beliefs pretty much. I'll admit, his final gambit to switch the curse back onto the main villain was a maneuver that would make Columbo proud. Though I still don't know what Karswell's whole plan outside of his demon hitman was.

Speaking of which, as iconic as that design is, it hasn't aged too well. The far away shot is the stiffest puppet ever seen, and even the closeup shot is...honestly, adorable. The most effective shot of it is near the end when it's tearing apart it's last victim. The claws not withstanding, it's head is in darkness with it's eyes glowing and you actually see the tearing even from a distance.

Though that was probably the key to it being one of the more effective horror films of the decade. Most times, the monster has to die or reveal to be secretly good. This is a demon, with no good bone in it's body, and it "gets away". Sure, the only real punishment it could've gotten is being chased away by a priest or an angel or such, but even that doesn't happen here. The devil is real. Demons are real. We might've escaped them this time. But by our own wit, not God's. If He is even real.

Side note, if I knew there was a Halloween party in this, I would've waited. Eh, close enough.

Christine (1983) It's surreal watching this after Halloween Ends. Sure, I think I've seen reviews saying that movie felt more like a remake of this movie plotwise. But now I see what they mean. Granted, the themes were handled with a bit more nuance in that film. I don't know; it's weird seeing a sequel to John Carpenter's most famous movie is used as a "backdoor remake" for one of his lesser known ones. It's at least a more interesting idea to handle a Halloween movie then a lot of the previous ones.

As for this movie; I never liked the 1950s. Even before and without knowing the awful political, racist, sexist shite that happened during it, I thought the aesthetics associated with it (cars, fashion, music, attitude, etc.) were the ugliest of any decade in the 20th century. Good ole days, my ass! The amount of similarities and homages to it in the 1980s were strikes against that decade too for me, in a weird guilt-by-association way. So it's oddly comforting that during a time where people, all the way up to the white house, were thinking "boy, don't you wish we could go back to such a time?", Both Carpenter and Stephen King made works that were responses in the fashion of "No! What are you, crazy?!"

But yeah, this does feel to me one of Carpenter's lesser efforts, not surprising since he practically saw it as a work for hire. It's a pretty typical King story, given a Carpenter coat of paint. I wonder if King gave him shit for being the second director of one of his adaptations that didn't redeem it's main character at the end. You wouldn't think the directors of book adaptations would make them more cynical then the produced-for-less-people source material.

Relic (2020) This film needs to be studied. by film scholars and then by students in film schools. It established a threat, a horror, that is unique to this movie, but you can follow what it's supposed to symbolize, and get a good handle on what it's doing in-universe to the grandmother. All without a single line of dialogue of exposition!

I really am so tired of films expecting to explain every weird thing in it, that I'm starting to love it whenever one just trusts you enough to get it and not raise arms about the small details that don't actually make or break a story. This is why the past few years have been seen as a golden age of the genre. It trusts us.

Another sidebar. Houses that turn into a magical maze that keeps you trapped might be one of my new fascinations. Simple, but super effective. I've seen it before in Grave Encounters, I heard it's in House of Leaves, which is on my reading list. It doesn't scare me, but I find oddly captivating. Got to try and figure out why.

Crawl (2019) If I covered Alligator, I'm going to have to cover this one. Though there's not much to say. A half hour of building mystery and tension, then once the gators literally explode onto screen, it's about surviving them and surviving them only and then credits. Not sure those many regular gators would have that strong a hankering for human flesh but whatever. Credit where credit's due, this movie made me jump the most out of any in recent memory. So it pretty much succeeded in it's main mission. Also, happy the dog made it, but it must've been miserable being wet for like 90% of the shoot.

Swallow (2019) Well this is new; body horror being the lesser of two evils. Hell of a pro choice message; "I'd literally feel safer putting anything else in my body". Many uncomfortable moments throughout, not all of them involving what she put in her mouth (though that freaking push pin!). Honestly, it's great to see a movie commits to that even the most egregious of supposed attention-seeking self harm is a symptom of a much larger problem. And that a film can be feminist and violent while actually looking pretty feminine. Though you probably all know that. We've all seen Barbie at this point.

I'm also watching Hot Fuzz. I'm not going to count it but I am watching Shaun of the Dead next month so I might mention it there.

Next month is the big one. Wish me luck and stay safe!

[rikumorimachisgirl]

Title: Eyes on you

Pairing: Shaw x You

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,901

A/N: You (Y/N) are not the MC in MLQC. This is a plunny that's been bugging me for quite a while, I had to write it. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own MLQC or its characters, but I do own the concept of this fic.

There were a few mysteries in this world that the esteemed Archeology Graduate Professors at Loveland University can't explain - for instance, the formation of the Stonehenge, the exact location of the lost city of Atlantis, the origin of the Nazca lines… and your presence at the Metro Art Gala dressed to the nines, positively gleaming as you strode arm in arm with your classmate and Thesis partner Shaw, who seemed like the perfect gentleman that evening. Thanks to your work at the Loveland Museum, you scored two invites to the gala featuring the recently discovered works of a well-known artist - an event any Archeology fanatic wouldn't let pass. The two of you walked along with LFG's Exhibition Hall, pausing occasionally to admire one of the recently discovered sculptures by the Renaissance artist D'Romani. As you both looked at the intricacies of the artwork in front of you, your charming companion would lean in slightly and whisper something in your ear, causing you to roll your eyes or stifle a giggle. 

To the guests in the prestigious gala, the two of you looked like two young people at the cusp of falling in love, but the members of the Faculty of the Graduate School of Archeology saw it differently - this was a real-life mystery if they'd seen one. 

As your eyes swiftly swept through the entire room, you could see that your professors only had one question in mind - how'd this happen? How did two people as different as day and night, who argued with each other throughout Graduate studies, end up amiably enjoying each other's company tonight? 

You drew a sharp breath and sighed. The answer was simple: Your Thesis defense was right around the corner. You needed him to cooperate, you were willing to go to great lengths to make it happen. And your Thesis partner (unfortunately) was ready to take full advantage of the situation. 

***

"Tell me why we're doing this again, " you said through the door that separated you and your date, as you were putting on the dress you bought (or invested on, as he casually stated) for tonight's gala, which he insisted on attending with you. It was six in the evening on a Friday, and you had just arrived home after cramming your workload at the Loveland Museum and foregoing your meal breaks just so you could leave work at exactly five-thirty. 

"I already told you a couple of times - you want me to cooperate with you so you can pass our Thesis, and I need a reason to be around her," the purple-haired man waiting at the other side of your bedroom door called out nonchalantly. "You can drop your fantasy about me asking you out because I'm attracted to you."

You hissed silently at his snarky remark and counted to ten. You haven't even left your apartment yet you already wanted this night to be over. "How do you even know she's gonna be there?"

She - the Miracle Finder Producer, the object of your Thesis Partner's fantasies, and as fate would have it, his brother's girlfriend. 

"They're doing a show featuring our Thesis adviser. Didn't he tell us about it during our last consultation?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't listening," you shot back, as you took off your ponytail and started styling your hair with your curling iron. You chose a one-shoulder fitted black dress that stops right above your knees, so you thought of wearing your hair down for a change. 

"Ah, yes. You were too busy looking at your notes, trying to prove me wrong as always."

You closed your eyes, as you continued to make big beach waves and prayed to the gods you wouldn't commit murder tonight. 

"How much longer are you gonna take?"

"Excited much?" You asked, smirking while you now removed your glasses and put on your contacts. "You sound like a teenager excited to see his crush in a school fair!"

"Don't compare me to you!" 

"I don't have designs on anyone in the party," you called back. "Unless your brother's attending the event, that is. From what you've been telling me, he seems like a great guy."

Silence. You arched an eyebrow as you strained your ear to listen for any sign of life outside your bedroom door. What must your grunge-rock skater boy-turned-date-for-the-evening be thinking? 

"Do you want to pass our Thesis or not?"

You struck a victory pose at his remark. Finally, one point - you, Shaw - about twenty. 

"Are you done yet? This suit is really uncomfortable. Damn, why do people even wear these?"

"Because they're decent?" You shot back. "You know, you can always go home if you're not comfortable in your attire because when we get there, you need to act decent, too. Can't have your usual swagger in a formal affair."

"Just hurry it up already!"

You rolled your eyes as you applied your nude-colored lipstick to finish off your look before putting on your black stilettos, and stuffing your phone, wallet, and your makeup in your purse. 

"All done," you replied, as you finally emerged from your room. 

***

A part of you wished that the dynamics between you and Shaw were different. While he was a pain in the neck, and too carefree for his own good, you also thought he made for a good intellectual sparring partner, quite attractive, and it was hard to deny that he's got your heart beating double-time whenever he got too close for comfort like he was at that very moment. 

"My, you two kids seem to be having fun tonight."

You gasped, at the sound of the voice behind you, and you felt your date nudge you ever-so-subtly while straightening.

"Hey, Professor Adler," he said in his usual unruffled tone, his lips stretched into a smirk as he held his hand out to your Anthropology professor and Thesis adviser, who watched you both amusedly. His gesture made your eyes shot wide open, you thought they'd fall right off. Shaw shaking someone's hand? That's one for the books. 

"Shaw. Fancy seeing you here," the stout middle-aged man greeted while shaking your date's hand. "This isn't your usual scene though."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't exactly turn a pretty lady down, can I?" 

"I can see that," your professor said as he looked at you appraisingly. "Well, well, you clean up well, Miss (y/n)."

You fought the urge to squirm at the older man's words when you heard your date cluck his cheeks with his tongue and suddenly felt his arm around your shoulders, pressing you protectively close to his side. 

***

"All done!" You happily announced as you stepped into the living room of your small apartment where your date was impatiently waiting for you. 

You could've sworn he was stunned for a second or two before he shook his head and tried to regain his usual impassive expression. Finally, he stood and walked closer to assess you better. 

"You're not wearing your glasses. I thought you said you're practically blind without them?" 

You cocked your head to one side. Out of all the things he could've complimented or called out, that's the first thing he noticed? 

"Wouldn't it look awkward if I wore glasses to a formal event?"

"Your hair is all curly," he continued as if you didn't say anything. "And your shoes are so tall, won't you trip? Also, surely you have a jacket to go with that dress, right?" 

You stared at him in disbelief. Why did this carefree, bass-playing skater boy turn into your dad all of a sudden? 

"Uh…"

"Well, at least you're not wearing red lipstick. You don't have to try too hard to look sexy. Geez! I've got plans of my own this evening, so don't expect me to be your bodyguard," he continued to mumble as he circled around you. Before long, you felt something warm and heavy on your shoulder. His coat?

"It's just until we get to the venue," he shrugged as he led you to the car he borrowed for tonight. "I don't want people seeing you freeze to death."

You sighed, your shoulders slumped as you followed your date to the car. You already expected he wouldn't throw you a compliment for looking like a proper human tonight, and you cursed yourself for feeling gutted over it anyway. 

 ***

"So, which one of these sculptures did you like best, Professor?" You sighed in relief as Shaw changed the subject, his arm still wrapped around you, making you blush furiously. 

"Oh, I have to say I liked Eros and Psyche best. In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located a little further down the hall near the bar area," the older man was starting to explain when someone tapped his shoulder from behind. 

"Excuse me, Professor Adler," a gentle voice called out, making both the professor and Shaw jump. From behind the old man, a pretty petite with brown hair and big brown eyes, and the biggest smile on her face stepped up. "My name is MC from Miracle Finder."

Almost immediately, Shaw withdrew his arm around you, almost causing you to stagger backward. He straightened up and feigned disinterest. 

"Hey. It's a little rude how you stepped in while I was talking to the Professor," he said, his tone teasing. 

"Oh, I didn't notice you here. Do you mind if I talk to your Professor? We've invited him for an interview about the exhibit," the girl said sweetly. 

Based on how unconsciously coy she acted around Shaw, and the way he kept egging her, there was no doubt that this was the girl he was crushing on. You felt like the odd person out all of a sudden and needed to step away. 

You backed away slowly, careful not to rouse their attention because it would probably suck if you knew how Shaw would introduce you to his little crush. As soon as you were in a safe distance, you turned and walked aimlessly down the hall, pausing briefly at paintings or sculptures that caught your fancy, looking at its intricacies as you did so earlier. But somehow, it wasn't as fun as it was before, so you moved on quickly, to give way to the other guests who also wanted to view the artwork.

Finally, you came upon the bar and decided to rest your tired feet at the far corner, hidden from the rest of the world. Sighing, you slipped your feet off your stilettos and quietly watched as the guests around you - mostly couples - happily chatting away as they enjoyed the beauty of the art around them and the wonderful music that filled the air. You knew somewhere in the crowd, your date was fawning over his lady love, probably getting in the way of her filming your professor. 

Tch. 

You knew he liked her - he always told you he did. And why wouldn't he? MC was pretty, seemingly sweet, and dainty - the kind of girl any guy would like to protect. And you. You were the opposite. You lived for your work, were 'one of the boys', and didn't need anyone to protect you - that's just how you were - and now you started to realize that maybe guys don't exactly like that. At least not Shaw. 

Wait, what were you thinking? You scolded yourself as you shook your head. Why were you even thinking of what he liked when you don't even like him to start with. Or did you? 

"Ugh. What the hell is wrong with me?" You groaned when a cold bottle of beer and a frozen glass was placed in front of you. 

"I was gonna ask you that myself." 

You straightened up in your seat and shot a look at the guy seated beside you. Dressed in a nice grey suit, he smiled as he raised his beer bottle in front of you. 

"You look like you needed a drink. I hope the beer is okay. They don't have fruit beer or soda," he said calmly, his amber-colored eyes never leaving yours. 

"Y-yeah. Beer is perfect," you replied while pouring the amber liquid into the glass. "Thanks," you muttered before raising the glass to your lips to gulp down some liquid courage. 

"I saw you with Shaw earlier -"

The name on his lips drove you to a coughing fit, as you choked on your drink. "Sorry, " you mumbled in between coughs. 

"No, I'm sorry," the brown-haired guy said, as he cautiously and politely patted your back. "I didn't mean to bring that up. I was just curious."

"It's fine," you replied when you finally regained your composure. "Yes, we're just classmates in Grad school who decided to check this exhibit out for the heck of it."

"Classmates, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what we are," you said, taking a sip off your glass. "Grad school classmates."

"Are you telling me or telling yourself?"

You looked up and saw him smiling. There was something about Dreamy McHandsome who was seated beside you that felt so familiar yet different at the same time, but you couldn't point a finger at what it was exactly. 

"We're classmates, and we're working on our thesis together. But we're not friends - far from it even. We hate each other's guts."

"Can't blame you for doing so," he shrugged as he drank his beer. 

"Yeah. He dragged me here so he can get with someone he's been crushing on for so long," you rambled on, frowning. 

"Oh? And who might that be?"

"The Miracle Finder Producer. You know, the pretty girl in a blue top and white skirt. He's been going on and on about her for weeks…"

"You mean my girlfriend?" 

His girlfriend. You choked on your drink once again. "Y-y-your girlfriend? You mean to say…" You gasped. Has the beer made you stupid? You've barely drunk half of it, you thought as you fought to regain your dignity. This was Shaw's brother you were talking to - and boy, we're they blessed with good genes…

… And the same social awkwardness, you noticed, judging by how he kept his hand at your back, but not exactly touching it, as if trying to assess if he had to pat you or not. 

When you finally calmed down, he cleared his throat and gave you a small smile. "Don't worry. She talks to me about their conversations. I know what that guy is playing at, and I most definitely know he's not after my girl," he said, his voice broke no room for doubt. "My name is Gavin..."

"Yeah, I know…"

"You - what?"

"Oh," you said, tapping on your glass nervously. "Shaw kinda mentioned it in passing before."

"I see."

"So, what were you saying earlier about Shaw?"

"Oh. From what my girlfriend tells me, he's got his sights set on…"

"Ahem," you heard someone say loud enough for you and Gavin to turn your heads around. And there, standing behind you, was an angry-looking Shaw. You sat up, your gaze shifting between the two brothers as the air started to thicken with tension. "I talk to someone for a minute and the next thing I knew, my date walks out on me and right into the one person I'd hate for her to meet."

"Well, if you were just honest with her as with a lot of other things in your life, maybe she wouldn't have left your side earlier," Gavin retorted flippantly. "Is she finally done with filming?"

Shaw simply grunted in reply as he watched his older brother finish his bottle of beer and stand. "Well, Miss, there's a lot I've heard about you. Seems somebody couldn't stop talking about you, but I'll leave it at that." 

With a wink and a mischievous smile upon his face, the brown-haired guy sauntered off to look for his better half, as you and Shaw watched in awkward silence. 

He cleared his throat and glanced at you. "Hey."

"Hey," you replied, shakily. 

"So, about what that jerk said -"

"Yes?" You asked, feeling your heart hammer against your chest by the second.

"Whatever he said is not true," he said dismissively, as he took his coat off and draped it over your shoulders. "I told you before, I don't find you the least bit attractive."

You felt tears starting to sting your eyes, as he continued with his harsh commentary. "You're tough, highly opinionated, and you always want to come out on top. I don't find those attractive at all," he said. "I prefer a damsel in distress. I want someone clingy… someone, needy."

"I know that -"

"Oh do you?" He teased, his amber eyes twinkling. "You seem to know a lot about me."

"We've been working together for months now," you said. "Of course, I'd know more about you."

"I see," he said, as he took a step closer to you and touched your cheek, rubbing the stray tear that had managed to slip down the side of your face. "So, you must know I'm also a good liar. After all, I've kept all these feelings to myself for quite some time."

He snickered when he saw your frown deepen and he bent down just as he had done so earlier, to whisper. "I made you think I liked someone else when in fact," his low voice made you shiver. "I've always eyes for you."

The End.

[ethanharli]

Pairing(s): Kuroo Tetsurou x Top Male Reader.

Warning(s): Cursing, Angst/Fluff.

DNI; if you use she/her pronouns.

__________

A sigh ripped past my throat as I stared down at my feet with hazy eyes, feeling the rain hit my body without mercy while I sat on the curb, not wanting to go home to where my parents fought and argued for the millionth time, at least my twin sister is at her training camp so she doesn't have to endure this shit. Then there's the fact my phone broke during my mother and I's fight, so I couldn't call anyone to see if I could stay over, even though I'd rather not bother anyone anyways, they probably got better things to do than deal with my ass. Groaning at the thought I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes when I heard footsteps approach, "[Y/n]? What are you doing in the rain?" My eyes widened at the familiar voice, turning my gaze his way I saw my usual bed headed boyfriend standing besides me, holding his umbrella over the both of us.

His cat like eyes staring down at me with confusion and worry, something I could never get used too. "They're fighting again.." Was all I muttered out, running a hand through my drenched [H/c] hair in order to move it out of my face while Kuroo held out his hand. "Come on then you're coming home with me" I had no time to object when he was already pulling me off the ground, forcing me against him, which nearly made us topple over, but an unusual sly smirk was now present on his face as he looked up at me, but the smirk wasn't one of the usual ones that girls and guy's alike would swoon over. "Should we get going?" I could only nod, keeping my gaze on him while he laced our fingers together, practically dragging me along with him under his umbrella.

His coat had a few wet spots from loose rain drops, the red of it reminding me of his Nekoma volleyball jacket. His focus stayed in front of us, a lingering determination hidden under the beautiful hazel of his eyes that I could look into for hours, and the way he held himself with confidence is something I will always admire, wishing I could do so myself, and mean it at least. Feigned confidence is something I can do well, but Kuroo has been the only one to see past it, hell he even pointed it out when we first met. "Getting a good look?" He chuckled, tightening his grip on my hand a bit in a comforting way that slowly brought a heat to my cheeks, "Maybe.." I muttered out, quickly turning my gaze away from the shorter male when a small, genuine smile was brought to his lips.

As much as I tried I couldn't stop my thoughts from wandering to their usual dark place, staring down at Kuroo and I's joined hands with furrowed brows. How could he love someone as expressionless as me? I can barley smile, I can't speak my mind without being scared of what he might think or say afterwards, even if deep down I know he cares, and that he'd never do anything to hurt me. It truly makes me wonder, how someone as great as him, would want to be with someone as broken as me, it's simply a hard pill for me to swallow. The sudden tap on my shoulder brought my attention back, seeing that we had finally arrived at Kuroo's house, him holding the door open for me with that worried gaze of his.

"Sorry.." Walking inside I took off my shoes and slipped on the slippers I kept here, not really wanting to walk throughout his house since I'm still soaking wet. "C'mon you need to get in the shower, you're a baby when you're sick" He laughed, forcing me up the stairs towards the bathroom while my heart fluttered in my chest, wanting to hear more of his laughter until he finally shoved me in the bathroom, "I'll bring you clothes and a towel, then after we can cuddle on my bed." After that I started my relaxing, skin melting hot shower only taking about ten minutes since the idea of cuddling with my lover was all to tempting. So when I stepped out the bathroom, dressed in grey sweatpants and a T-shirt I looked around the room for the middle blocker, sighing in defeat when I couldn't find him and simply sat at the edge of his bed.

I laid the towel on my head, not caring for the little water droplets that hit my cheek, slowly sliding down to my neck as I looked at the floor.

"He deserves better than you! No one could even bother loving you! He's probably just a whore for your cock!"

My mothers words rang through my head as tears slowly gathered in my eyes, blurring my vision almost immediately. I always wondered why she'd bring Kuroo into our fights, telling me constantly that he'd be better off fucking a pretty girl then being a whore for a guy like me. I had never been so angry at her, I never cared for when she'd insult me but insulting Kuroo was out of the question, it was immediately after she shouted the word that I threw my phone behind me, shattering its screen and putting a hole in the wall. I hated fighting with her, knowing she's just pissed that dad wouldn't give her a good fuck anymore simply because he found his co-worker much more interesting.

Tears slowly flooded from my eyes as I let out a choked sob, resting my elbows on my knees as my head hung low, feeling my body tremble and my chest ache. My breath caught in my throat when slim fingers slid under my chin, pulling my head up so I could look into that gorgeous hazel I fell in love with many years ago. "It'll be okay [Y/n], I'm here" He whispered out, the soft tone was something I hadn't heard much of, but was calmed by nonetheless, my hand reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him towards me, a pleading look in my eye begging for him to climb into my lap which surprised him greatly. Never once in our relationship have I initiated anything that involved physical contact, hell I couldn't even utter the words 'I love you' because every time I tried my mothers words would weigh me down.

However Kuroo still gladly slipped into my lap, moving his arms to rest on my shoulders while mine wrapped around his waist securely, burying my face into the crook of his neck, simply wanting the touch of my lover against me. The feeling of Kuroos fingers running through my hair slowly calms my painful sobs, turning them into quiet sniffles, taking a deep breath of his scent that I craved for everytime he was away. My hands stayed on the small of his back, pulling away from the hug just enough so I could rest my forehead against his, brushing our noses together softly as I stared into his eyes that looked torn from my own broken gaze. "Sometimes I think my mother is right, I truly believe I don't deserve you, you've always been there for me no matter what and what have I ever done in return? She makes me feel like I'm just dead weight to you, and honestly most the time I believe it."

Before he could interrupt I brought my hand to his cheek, brushing my thumb along his cheekbone in order to cut him off, "You always stuck to me though, even when so many people threw themselves at you, people that could've been so much better for you, you still chose me, an emotional broken wreak of a man." He stayed silent as I talked, biting his lower lip with a twinge of something hidden behind those pools of hazel, watching me intently when my gaze shifted towards his lips, moving my hand so that my thumb could pull his lower lip from his teeth.

"But god damn you manage to make me feel so fucking special" I whispered out, feeling his grip on my hair tighten by a fraction as I captured his lips with my own, loving how surprisingly soft they felt against my own, but the kiss ended as soon as it started, even though I couldn't bring myself to pull away to much. "I want to be with you for as long as you'll let me, cause fuck Tetsurou I love you to much to let you go" I mumbled against his lips, looking into his half lidded eye's that brightened with so much happiness they literally teared up, and being anxiety filled I thought I had made him upset for a moment, but that thought quickly left when he smashed his lips against mine with so much force that I fell against his bed.

He had the biggest smile I've ever seen as he pressed his palms against my chest, looking down at me with a loving look I happily returned, smiling back at the bed headed male, "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that! God I love you, you idiot!" He laughed, leaning down to press a, this time, soft kiss against my lips.

"I love you too Testu."

[narumi-gens]

ukai decides to propose. you've already talked about it, you KNOW you want to spend your lives together, he knows hopes you'll say yes.

(his heart might never recover if you don't)

so he goes about buying a ring. he steals a ring of yours when you're asleep for sizing purposes. selecting a ring wasn't as hard as he'd thought it would be — he knew his budget, he knew what you liked (he's known you your whole life). so he goes out and buys a pretty little silver band inlaid with three tiny diamonds. it's a little heavy on his wallet, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. you deserve nice things.

then came the planning of the actual proposal. this was, he realized, significantly harder than he'd thought it would be.

maybe he should keep it simple? dinner followed by a walk under the stars. he'll get down on one knee and—no. isn't that too cliché? he can do better.

an elaborate treasure hunt throughout your house? maybe he can make up clues based on all the memories you've made together: eating dinner on the floor the first night of moving in because the dining table was too hard to assemble, or learning the importance of separating whites and colours when your favourite white blouse comes out the washing machine stained a murky blue because of that damn t-shirt of his. or something to do with that time you'd had a stomach bug and he'd nursed you through it, staying by your side even after you'd thrown up on him.

no, he decides, it'd be bad if you couldn't connect the clues to these events. besides, he's no literary genius. coming up with elaborate prose for the clues is not a task he considers himself capable of.

then what?

ukai is standing in the karasuno gym, thumbing at the ring box sitting snugly inside his jacket pocket. he'd taken to carrying it around with him after you'd almost stumbled upon the ring hidden behind the plants you'd insisted on keeping in the house.

he's exhausted his creativity racking his brain for ideas. everything he could come up with seemed too cliché, or too cringey, or just downright stupid. he's suddenly brought back to reality when takeda clears his throat next to him, 'is everything okay?' falling from his lips, tone polite as ever.

fuck, he shouldn't be zoned out during practice. he really needs to put a stop to this. ukai looks at the man standing next to him. maybe he could help? takeda was a poet at heart, after all, so he should be able to come up with a romantic proposal.

ukai confides in him, accepting the congratulatory pat takeda gives him. by now, this little interaction has attracted the attention of the nut more curious of his boys. tanaka, nishinoya, hinata gather around him with kageyama creeping up behind them. he can tell that the other members are listening in too, just not as obviously.

'what's the matter, coach?'

ukai eyes his team. it wouldn't hurt to tell them, right? they don't really come into contact with you all that often, and when they do, it's for brief moments only, when you're popping in to drop off his keys or his wallet that he'd forgotten at home.

'i'm, uh, thinking of proposing. bought the ring and everything, just need to come up with a plan now.'

dead silence echoes throughout the gym before complete mayhem breaks out.

he's being congratulated simultaneously by sawamura, azumane, and ennoshita while tanaka and nishinoya are huddled together on the floor, weeping tears of happiness (at least, ukai thinks they're tears of happiness. you can never tell with these two.) tsukishima goes back to sipping at his drink, while yamaguchi's eyes light up, much like yachi's. shimizu, too, offers him a soft smile and a congratulations before tanaka pipes up.

'can we see the ring?!'

well, they already know, so ukai reckons it wouldn't do much harm to let them see it. he reaches into his pocket and takes out the box, flipping it open to reveal the silver band wedged inside. the team crowds around him, oohs and aahs falling from their mouths. tanaka nods somberly, a finger stroking his chin, as he mutters, "excellent choice, coach. she's going to say yes."

"who's going to say yes?"

fourteen pairs of eyes land on you, holding so many emotions in them, from amusement to sheer panic. you stand at the door of the gymnasium, holding ukai's lunch. he'd accidentally taken yours today, so you thought you could pop in to exchange it and see your boyfriend while doing so. but the scene you happened upon was completely unexpected.

ukai scrambled violently with something in his hands, while takeda looked like he'd seen a ghost. the kid with the goatee was panicky, his eyes flitting around for an escape. the two shortest of the bunch were fidgeting with whatever keishin was holding, apparently trying to help him with it.

keyword: trying.

all the jostling and shoving they did managed to knock the thing out of keishin's hands. you squint as it flies through the air — was that a box? — as keishin desperately tries to get to it before it lands in front of you.

he draws on every single diving receive he'd ever done in his entire life and swoops across the gymnasium, towards you.

he does not get there in time.

the box clatters to the ground in front of you, keishin landing there a second later. you're still stuck trying to process the situation, but you have enough presence of mind to lean down and pick up the box, finally being able to see its contents.

oh. oh.

keishin thumps the ground with his first before he looks up at you, eyes filled with resignation. he's quite the sight - his hair had slipped out of his hairband and his nose was bleeding. yet he drags himself to sit up on one knee.

you've already seen the ring. might as well get it over with.

keishin opens his mouth, ready to launch into an unrehearsed speech, cursing the universe with every fiber of his being for making things turn out this way. but you don't give him a chance to say anything.

his eyes widen before he's knocked to the ground by you flinging yourself on top of him. you're hugging him, face buried in his neck, whispering 'yes, yes, yes, always, a thousand times yes' and suddenly he can't bring himself to care about the awkwardness of the situation.

keishin laughs before sitting up, bringing you with him. he gently separates you from him before taking the ring tightly clutched in your palm and slipping it onto your finger. the whole scene feels a little too intimate for a high school gymnasium, but it's only fair that it happens here, he thinks. after all, this is where he'd realised he loved you, all the way back when you two had been first years.

he blinks back the tears suddenly clouding his eyes and restrains the urge to kiss you senseless right there. the two of you had created enough drama for the day. instead he settles for kissing the inside of your wrist as he laces his fingers through yours, before lifting them up in the air, as if announcing his victory.

the entire gymnasium burst into cheers once again. this time it was asahi and kinoshita in tears while hinata and nishinoya jumped around in joy. takeda was grinning ear to ear when he gave you his congratulations, followed shortly by daichi and sugawara. and you could've sworn you saw the senior manager's eyes flit to the bald-headed boy, a blush coating her cheeks. but that was something for another day.

today, right now, you would celebrate. sure, the proposal had been far from ideal, but keishin was yours and you were his and you found yourself wishing it would be this way forever.

i do not know what this is but this scenario refused to leave my mind unless i wrote it down aaaa

sorry for the long ass ask!! please feel free to ignore i just wanted to share ❄️

....anon....I am SPEECHLESS!!!! what did do to deserve such a wonderful anon who drops such amazing things in my inbox 😭😭 (and while I may be slow to reply bc...life...ugh... don't worry anon, I would never ignore something like this!!!! god, nothing gets me more than dorky, lame, grumpy ukai who's such a sweetheart and so soft and I'm just DYING over this.

everyone be jealous of my amazing anon 💕

(also don't catch me going through all my ukai wips that haven't been touched in a year+. nope, definitely not doing that... 👀)