#making coffee. didn't eat breakfast bc i couldn't bring myself to prepare some cereal or cut some fruit. the same yesterday like my bladder
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i've literally been malfunctioning for DAYS can it stop?
#the not being able to get out of bed and wanting to just stay in pyjamas all day is a normal occurrence#but like. couldn't put my hair up today so i just let it loose again even though i planned to put it up slightly bc of work. struggled with#making coffee. didn't eat breakfast bc i couldn't bring myself to prepare some cereal or cut some fruit. the same yesterday like my bladder#was about to explode bc i didn't want to get up to go to the toilet and my head was aching all day bc i didn't want to go refill my water#bottle so i was kinda dehydrated. well kinda. i literally got a headache from not drinking enough. haven't brushed my teeth in days. haven'#done anything in days. like i've just sat in bed and scrolled through media nothing else. hate being like this when will a good day come by#*social media#also have been planning on baking cake or just like make cookies but i keep postponing it and then it's too late for it even though i reall#want to try making rice cakes#anyway 🙃 dw i'm used to this i'll be fine just getting a little anxious about something i read about if you don't get treatment when you#have depression it can cause permanent brain damage or something 😅 but like i think even if i was brave enough to tell someone i think i#need therapy it still wouldn't be possible bc first of all i think it costs money?? and second i don't thinm i'd talk like i'm so bad at#opening up. also i've heard my brother and my dad say that people who go to therapy are just whiny and pathetic and go to therapy so they#can tell their stories and complain to someone so like 😑 would rather not go to therapy than go to therapy knowing part of my family thinks#that way about me. also it would be so hard to explain to my younger siblings. also i'm just scared to talk about my feelings to someone le#alone a complete stranger#also the hating my body for several different reasons is hitting extra strong this week :/#don't want to have the body i currently have every time i look into the mirror i get whiplash from turning my head away so fast#okay well.....#uhm ramble over ig?#🔮.txt
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