#makes y'all so uncomfortable you start freaking out like this. but my guys and gals and nb pals you do NOT look good acting like this

[butwhatifidothis]

Wyll fans: Can Larian please just give Wyll a little more content with this new patch? Even just a few more voice lines would be fine-

Weirdos, without fail, literally every single time: WHY ARE YOU SO ENTITLED OH MY GOD WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ADDING A DOZEN SUBCLASSES AND CROSS PLAY AND A PHOTO-MODE AND NEW ASTARION VOICE LINES IS SO MUCH EASIER ON THE DEVS THAN ADDING VOICE LINES FOR WYLL WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER SATISFIED WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES THE BLAND BORING GOODY TWO SHOES CHARACTER IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE

[pharaohkiller]

Eurovision 2017 - i know i'm late to the party

Israel: They took the “Breaking me to pieces” line literally when preparing a background, love it. He’s so charming and radiates an energy that suits the stage. But, not a fan of the song, as there are a lot of songs that go along the beat of the song. Sorry hon, 4/12

Poland: She reminds me of Ellie Goulding, and the piano in the background sounds very similar to Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack and another film that I cannot remember at the moment. She has a pleasant voice which she hit amazing high notes. Still can’t get over the fact that it sounds like it was ripped off of many movie soundtracks. Sorry love, 5/10 (one extra point for having dogs in the trailer-y thingy, dogs are always an extra point.)

Belarus: They. Are. So. Cute. The guitar that is covered with lace has me dead, I have war flashbacks to my grandmother’s house where every surface has these stuff. These two have amazing energy that reflects on the audience and now I just want to kick some ass with my significant other with this song in the background for some reason? Like it’s not a song for kicking ass and I don’t have a significant other but that is so not the point lol. This song is just pure, I love it and you can bet your ass I so am downloading it. (The kiss at the end thoughh, I ship it.) 7/12

Austria: He is soo charming and those sneakers are dope af, is he roleplaying as Hermes ‘cause I can see myself casting him in my PJO fanfics if I ever get around writing one lol. Oh and, the kid from the Dreamworks logo is all grown up now, feel old yet? The clouds in the back are so aesthetically pleasing. The song itself is a whole another thing. The “I’ll swim like a champion” line seems off, as if they couldn’t find a better fitting synonym or word in its place, overall the song is repeating itself a lot. His cute face that is smiling throughout the song is definitely a plus, and he does have a pleasant voice, but a girl’s gotta get her Judge Judy on. My verdict on the song, therefore, iiiis *drum roll* 4/12

Armenia: I love it. For some reason, I truly am enjoying this performance. The only thing that is bothering me is the constant camera cuts like dudes why?? The lyrics are kinda meh but the dancers were good too. But, will I download it? Nope, sorry queen. 5.5/12

The Netherlands: The harmonizing, the outfits are all fan-freaking-tastic. Literal queens. The song though, is not my piece of cake and the lyrics are not eritten by a genius as it seems like the writer(s) was given the prompt ‘cry no more, turn the page and start again’ and literally revolves around the line, and I quote “Never cry no more”. Sorry babes, 2.5/12

Moldova: I’m a sucker for saxophones. They have a plus one, it’s for the saxophone. Did I mention I love saxophones? Especially in Eurovision songs (tbt the Epic Sax Guy). I love everything about this performance, the background, the dancing, the flower microphones, the sax solo, the dress transformation, the violin - this is my jam for the rest of my life. Play it at my funeral and I’ll rise from the dead to do the leg thing. I don’t even care about the repetition of lyrics or anything. The hype is real y'all, the hype is real. 9/12

Hungary: Let me address the hair and the outfit and then I’ll go on. HE HAS A MAN BUN. HIS OUTFIT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS OUT OF WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE ALBUM AND MV, he is a small bean and needs to be protected. I don’t understand the lyrics but that minor detail doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy this masterpiece. This 👏is👏a👏master👏piece👏 . The violin, the dancer, the RAP PART (that is 100% better than anything Jake Paul ‘rapped’), the instrument that I don’t recognise, the choreography, his voice.. literally everything. 11/12

Italy: Before the performance, the fucking opening credits. It’s a fucking masterpiece. Has anyone talked about it yet? If y'all didn’t I’m judging you. And that suit, the rainbow side thingy. The rainBOW like, damn I love it. FUCKING HARAMBE. AND THE WIGGLES, FOR FUCK’S SAKE, the whole song is a meme. Again, language is a problem pour moi, however, I really like it. We really should talk about the fucking Harambe and Wiggles thing. I just can’t. The “Omm” ending thiough, thanks a lot dude. Much meme, such voice. 8/12

Denmark: Okay first of all, the queenest queen of them all in this year’s Eurovision. The dress, the voice, her vocal range, those high notes, the song, that adorable face. I can’t really relate to the song in a romantic way but hell yeah I’m going to play around with the meaning so that I can relate and give the queen her rating. I have it on my phone as I’m typing this. I love this, I love her. 11/12 - biased (kind of) - / unbiased; 9.5/12

Portugal: Let me address this, he looks really uncomfortable and anxious to be in such a position where he is the centre of attention. I saw a lot of hate directed towards him with people saying that he looks like a rat, has no stage appeal and that kind of stuff. From where I’m looking, he looks like the kind of introvert who prefers to stay within their comfort zone but are passionate about arts that require a lot of human interaction as well as clashing with their own personal limits. Here, it’s singing. You can physically see on his face how relaxed he becomes as the first notes to the song his sister wrote are released into the crowded stadium, he gets relaxed as the time goes on. Compared to his state before getting up to the stage where he was stiff and looked like he wanted to crawl up to a corner and hide, he looks so in peace as he releases his soothing voice into the dark night. I kinda refuse to look at the translation of the words as I fear the magic will dissappear but that is on me. It sounds like it belongs to a rom-com with Ryan Gosling as the lead male or a Disney movie, and, as I said the same for Denmark, I have the song on my phone and it is such a delight to listen to. I am unable to describe how this song affects me, my words come out in lame sentences, not magnificent enough to match the magnificence of the song. And, apart from saxaphones, I’m a sucker for greenery in general so the background pleases my eyes. Moreover, those assholes on Youtube complaining on how he shouldn’t have won the competition and it’s all for political reasons, shut your whiny asses that listen to lyrically poor songs in the trend list on Spotify, and drop your popular wannabe persona and just listen to this masterpiece. A genuine 12/12 from the deepest corners of my heart.

Azerbaijan: That fucking horse thing, fuck that mask. (My Starkid fangirl can’t help this so bear with me) “Oh I feel ready, at my skeletons. Have my lungs, my millions” has me imagining Umbridge singing this song in the Forbidden Forest before the, how do I phrase this, ‘thing’ with Firenze and the overall centaurs, and boy do I want to close the tab and question my imagination right now. Anyways, those ‘bad boy’s are going to be the end of me, all I can think of is the stupid Wattpad stories. Overall the song has an interesting vibe to it, to say the least. However, not my jam for this summer gals, pals and non-binary friends. 5/10

Croatia: My man, my friend. He is a cute cinnamon roll that needs to be protected. The going up the stairs bit in the opening credits is me. This whole performance is a huge meme itself, what is it with Eurovision and memes this year, I feel like the only missing thing from this whole event is ‘cash me ousside’ and Pepe the Frog. Bet someone cracked open a cold one with the boys in the back lol. Anyways back to this precious human being, his voice has me shook. His vocal range is amazing, reminds me of Brendon Urie somewhy. The way he says miracle makes me think of a certain Ryan Higa video and I just need a moment. Also, “There are only two ways to live your life” makes me think of Britney Spears, I think I’m the living meme machine at this point. Imagine you otp performing this, I’m wheezing. The background is ground breaking. I really cannot function properly at this point, it’s 3:18 a.m. and watching this masterpiece. Can we talk about that iconic ‘Yes!’? 8/12

Australia: First of all, the jokes were made last year but I have to do it again, why the fuck is Australia performing in Eurovision? Next up we will have BTS performing for Southern Korea and Baby Metal from wherever they’re from. In the end I feel like this whole event will turn into a party where America is the only one invited. He looks like the model everyone obsesses over in Pinterest. Can we have a minute to obsess over his voice please? It’s like honey, or fine wine. The background is meme worthy, but good lol. 7/12 and would definitely listen to it again sometime.

Greece: She reminds me of Alexandra Daddario mixed with a Greek Goddess. She’s probably the only person that can pull that dress off. The song feels like David Guetta, Calvin Harris or Martin Garrix had a chance to play with it before it was distributed to public. 6/10

Spain: A group made up of boys that are nice to look at, who wouldn’t give them 12/12 right? That evil heartless witch is me. The fact that the boys are cute does not erase the huge high note failure. I cannot get over it, I can’t look past it. Everytime I look at the boy, I can’t help myself and I get into hysterical laughter. It’s a precious moment, and I will laugh at it ‘till the day I die. Sorry boys, 3/12 for the overall song, infinity out of 12 for that failure.

Norway: What the fuck is that mask. What is the thing with weird shit and Eurovision. And please someone explain me what the fuck are those effects and jump cuts. His voice is lovely, and I like the song. Will probably download the song whenever I remember lol. That microphone stand gives me lifee along with the purple aesthetic. 7/12

United Kingdom: Can we take a moment to appreciate her. She is so pure with her voice and her looks. I also must point out that one of the three lyricists (is that a word? i dont know) is *the* Emmelie de Forest. Another fucking queen of Eurovision for those who are unaware. By the way, “I will never give up on you.” is such a line, my gal, let me introduce you to Brexit, oh and, “Together we’ll dance through this storm.” I bet that storm is Theresa May lol. Nice song, nice facial expressions, nice background effects - simple but effective. 8/12

Cyprus: [minus the trnc but whatevs] The song starts and all I can think of is Rag'n'Bone Man’s Human mixed with a pinch of Blues Saraceno’s River. It’s bugging me a lot ‘cause I feel like there’s another song I can’t name. The high note was good but overall it’s a meh from me. I will not give any rating to it, I hate when Eurovision contestants rip off actual songs.

Romania: One word, memetastic. I love this and everything it offers to the audience. It also reminds me of Barclay from Stereo Kicks. Man, the yodels get me everytime, I love this clash of cultures as well as that weird kiss in the end lmao. 6/12

Germany: Right off the bat, Titanium by David Guetta and Sia. The singer is cute and has a nice voice but just like I did to Cyprus, I’m not going to rate it.

Ukraine: Again, Eurovision with weird shit. What is that hat, someone explain it to me. I fucking love the song though, it’s my piece of cake. Can we talk about the band please? They need love and are underrated in my opinion.

Belgium: I can’t name the song, but this is another rip-off. Shame really, her voice is lovely as well as herself.

Sweden: Just meme it, you know you want to. He reminds me of Felix (Pewdiepie if you wereliving under a rock for a while) for some reason? The song feels as if it was written for Robin Thicke originally. The dancers are the ones that are frickin’ beautiful. We are blessed with their presence. 4/12

Bulgaria: If I’m not remembering wrong he is one year older than me; he is performing in Eurovision as a finalist and I’m writing about him at 4:32 in the morning like can I have my break-out as an actress yet? No? Okay. Anyways, let me make this clear, I’m a teenage girl and he is attractive, plus has a mind-blowing voice, thus, I may have created a bias of some sort. Do I look like a heartless bitch that will deduct points from this amazing human being just 'cause I can’t relate to the lyrics? Not when this otherworldly person is the source of conflict at hand. I can’t wait for him to drop an album, I need more of his voice. Two songs aren’t enough, I want more, I need more. That little “Thank you.” at the end, I’m indeed fangirling. 12/12

France: I’m not as good as I was two years ago regarding the French language and it makes me sad. She is adorable and her voice is also very nice to listen to.