#m: GIGS January 2010

[flanaganfilm]

Hey, Mike! Did moving to Los Angeles at the start of your career turn out to be all that you thought it would be? It’s a big step that a lot of people take, and I’ve never really heard you talk about those early years before. Did you ever contemplate quitting? And if so, I’m glad you stuck to it - we love your work!

Oh, I contemplated quitting many, many times.

I moved to Los Angeles in January, 2003. I had just graduated the previous summer from Towson University, and a group of five of us moved out together. Some wanted to be filmmakers, some wanted to be actors. We shared a 3-bedroom apartment in Glendale. The adjacent apartment was occupied by four other Towson alums. Between the two apartments, we called it "Little Towson." I didn't own a car at the start. I had no health insurance. I'd saved a few thousand dollars to get me through the first six months, but none of us had jobs at the beginning. I remember applying (and being rejected) for a job at Walmart. I combed Craigslist looking for non-union editorial gigs.

I had told myself I'd give it five years, and if I hadn't gotten any traction, I'd move back to Maryland.

People started dropping out pretty quickly. One of my roommates (and one of my best friends) had moved out here to be an actor, and only lasted a few months before he decided to go back. It's overwhelming and terrifying to take a leap into a city as expensive as LA, and you're surrounded by people who all want the same career that you want. But it feels like there is a thousand foot wall circling the industry, and it seems impossible to scale it.

I found work doing odd editorial jobs before working as a logger, than an assistant editor, then an editor on a few reality shows. I shot and cut those local car commercials you see on late night cable. And I frequently ran out of money and overdrafted my account. As more and more of our original group gave up and moved back East, I started to feel more and more crazy. A lot of my friends from school were getting married, buying houses, having kids. I felt pretty delusional as my 5-year deadline came and went, and I still hadn't found any way over or through that wall. When we started to talk about making Absentia in 2010, I had been in LA for more than 7 years. I was working two jobs as an editor. I found out I was going to be a father. It felt very much like whatever I'd wanted to happen by moving to LA was not going to happen. Absentia was kind of last-ditch effort. Ultimately, the five year plan I'd allowed myself when I moved to LA turned into a 9-year plan. I started shooting Oculus - my first "real" movie - in the fall of 2012, just shy of my 10th anniversary in Los Angeles. That movie wouldn't come out for a while after that, so by the time I actually had a career as a filmmaker, well over a decade had passed struggling in LA.

For most of that time, my refusal to move back to Maryland looked (and felt) like a delusion. Only afterward did it start to look like "tenacity." And it never felt like "persistence" or "determination"... it felt insane. It felt like constant, daily frustration and rejection. And when I couldn't pay the bills, or couldn't land a job, it felt downright embarrassing.

For what it's worth, the only difference I've seen between people who "make it" out here and don't are that the ones who made it all stayed long past their expiration dates. I've seen wildly talented people pack it up and head home. Talent helps a lot once the door is open, but really the only thing that opens the door is persistence. To the point of feeling insane.

[noodlepigeon]

Red Vox Before Red Vox

Vinny started playing guitar in 2003, and started writing music in 2004. He and Mike met in college and bonded over a mutual taste in music, including rock bands of many styles and eras, but especially classic rock and grunge.

Vinny was part of a few small bands at this time. He often played guitar for and with his high school friend Bill, even playing bass for Bill as his first gig. Eventually, Vinny and Mike formed a band of their own: Davy’s Grey. Mike was on drums, and Vinny took the role of vocalist, guitarist, and primary songwriter. A mutual college friend of theirs, Phil, played bass.

Davy’s Grey was primarily a live band, performing sporadic shows before recording seven of their best live songs and compiling them into the 2009 EP No Cigar.

Davy’s Grey was a formative time for the future Red Vox members. Several songs written during this period would make their way onto Red Vox’s earliest releases, including Trolls and Goblins, which was later recorded as a charity incentive in 2015, and Long Lonely Night, the penultimate track on Red Vox’s first full-length album. Several songs off the Red Vox EP Blood Bagel also came from this era; its Bandcamp page credits Phil with “witnessing the real Blood Bagel playing some of these songs with us back in the day.”

Davy's Grey disbanded shortly after the release of No Cigar, beginning a five year period of little musical activity from its former members. Mike took on various drumming gigs, though little came of these ventures. Phil became a solo musician and producer. Vinny primarily focused on his YouTube channel and streaming on Justin.tv, later Twitch.tv – he would, however, release his solo album Sibilants in January 2011, and Odds and Ends, a short collection of Davy’s Grey demos and solo demos, in December 2011.

All the while, Bill – a pianist/keyboardist, vocalist, bassist, guitarist, and probably some other things – was busy playing and writing music. In 2008, he joined the Seconds along with Joe Pecora. The Seconds released their first album Slip Away in 2010 and their second, final album Monstro in 2013. Bill released his solo album Villain in 2010 as well. All three of these albums were recorded, mixed, and produced by Joe. Joe himself played in quite a few local bands – notably, the Sweathogs, which would later evolve into Happy Anarchy (for which he also recorded, mixed, and produced). All of these projects took place at his studio, the Red Room, in Staten Island, NY. Vinny has described him as “a local legend,” a well-earned moniker.

Bill and Joe with the Seconds. First image: Bill on far left and Joe on far right; Second image: Bill on far right, Joe immediately to his left.

Joe (second from left) with Happy Anarchy at Red Room Studio, SINY.

Vinny and Mike reconvened around 2014, deciding to dust off some of their old songs to record. Bill introduced them to Joe, and this simple idea would soon balloon into an album taking a year of their lives to record and costing thousands of dollars to make. What could go wrong?

[hellkitepriest]

ee @ rough trade nottingham

finally getting to my little roundup several days later, hello. i must say going to nottingham was a real Choice for @shallowtboy and i, because it is not actually that convenient and close like liverpool is, and i mostly justified it with “well i went there to see dutch uncles in december so it’d be rude not to”. but we woke up and got on our stupid early train regardless.

went to an art gallery beforehand, found a copy of mark fisher’s capitalist realism in the gift shop — alex niven first read capitalist realism in january 2010, following a “head-on collision with the music industry”, did you know. saw a very cute pin of kraftwerk-style cats and nearly cried also.

when we queued up outside the venue (venue! it was Just A Shop) there were a good few people there already and we were glad we got down there when we did. doors were meant to be at 12, but they ended up letting us in half an hour later for some reason, which meant by the time we got in we had descended into some cold-induced madness that manifested in us humming the mad stone and bobbing up and down oompa loompa-style to keep warm for just. SO long. this bit would not cease.

we got in, and we weren’t Right at the front but we were close enough, and there was no barrier aside from the flightcases dumped on the ground, and i had to prepare myself for being waaay too close to jonathan higgs. which i WAS. i believe it was albie on here who said that if you’re in the first two rows at any of these shows you will end up making eye contact with this man, and yeah, that only gets truer if he already sorta knows who you are. EMBARRASSING.

it was a good show — not as rowdy and sweaty as liverpool, but what can you expect from a show at midday on a weekday, really. they played teletype at this one(!!! it’s not on my Playlist for nothing), and pizza boy, and i had a bottle of pepsi in my bag and turned to shallowtboy and took a big swig of it at the right moment because really i come to these gigs to have my own incomprehensible kind of fun with my best friend, and it was Funny. only then in the next chorus jon sang “you are afraid / that you’re a pepsi boy” which i did not really register until After, when shallowtboy pointed it out, and i had to contend with the fact jonathan higgs may well have seen me drinking my pepsi (i was about six feet away from him, he probably did,) and decided to make a thing of it. good god. gender win 🤷‍♂️

after the show it was signing time and we all verrry slowly shuffled out into a sort of queue. i took a photo of alex’s pedalboard on the way out, and said “i don’t know why i’m doing this, it’s not as if i know what any of these do”, and their guitar tech (who i have been mentally referring to as Clayton for various reasons, but i believe is actually called joe) overheard and went “neither do i, hah” and then i started chatting to him about what a shame it was that alex didn’t bring his little modular setup on tour this time round, and he told me all about pete’s ableton routing, and it was VERY FUN thank you claytonjoe for engaging with me. pls don’t find out i’m a massive gear poser.

SPEAKING OF— actual signing time. my rubiks cube was in my bag and i was NOT going to leave without it being signed. i managed to somehow barely interact with jon (cursing myself forever that i did not get to ask about the pepsi incident) but they all seemed fairly unsurprised by being asked to sign a rubiks cube, and all wrote their signatures very neatly in one of the little squares, minus jeremy for some reason. and Then.

i was wearing this shirt with the names of two modular synth brands smushed together, based on ONE decade-old post from this one forum that i had decided was the funniest thing in the world, yet another incomprehensible bit i am doing with myself, really, only turns out it’s the modular synth brands alex robertshaw uses the most. it came up on that podcast he did the other day. it was a real “oh for fucks sake” moment. so i showed him my shirt, and told him as much, and i expected there to be QUESTIONS about why the hell this shirt would exist, but he just thought it was great. (jeremy also approved, and said he saw me wearing it in liverpool. i did not interact with jeremy in liverpool. i was not even standing NEAR jeremy in liverpool.) alex then asked if he could take a photo to send to the guy he did the podcast with. YEAH OKAY SURE WHY WOULDN’T THIS NONSENSE BE HAPPENING TO ME. but he didn’t have his phone with him, i guess?? so he had to borrow mike’s phone???? so there’s a picture of me on mike spearman’s phone, i guess. hope the synth podcast guy did see it in the end.

writing this all out really does make it sound about twenty times more bizarre than it felt at the time. i love this ridiculous weirdo band. /\

[wrongcaitlyn]

heyy! can you make an apollo time line?? like until before talk your talk starts. i'm so confused

YES okay so i have a very detailed outline in my docs (aka for all the stuff i want to eventually cover in the memoir) but those contain a lot of spoilers so i'm going to give a brief outline of all the main events, just so that the timeline makes sense bc i totally get it - i, too, was very confused by my own timeline when first writing this fic. the amount of shifting and adjustments of it... yeah it was very confusing bc i kept putting off *making* a timeline for apollo and instead just throwing random bits and pieces of lore at him😭

SO here's the official talk your talk apollo timeline

1979

April 8: Apollo is born

1995

July (age 16): Apollo's debut album is released (at this point in time, he has already been in the film industry for years as a child actor, as well as various other smaller gigs/singles. He, before this, has also signed a 5-album contract with his father's record label.)

1998

October - December (age 19): Naomi/Apollo relationship (bonus fun fact: the billboard music awards were on december 7, 1998. This is about nine months before august 23, 1999. do with this information what you will.)

1999

August 23 (age 20): Will Solace is born

2000

June (age 21): at some point, a one night stand with Latricia Lake September 15 - October 1: Sydney Summer Olympics, Darren and Apollo first meeting (they continue to have an on and off relationship from 2000-2003, not really a committed relationship though)

2001

February 28: Austin Lake is born

2003

July (age 24): Darren and Apollo start dating officially

2004

January: Apollo's fifth album is released early March: Apollo and Darren break up mid March: Apollo's tour for the album starts April 1: Kayla Knowles is born late April (age 25): Apollo calls off his contract, doesn't extend his contract, and publicly breaks ties with his father's record label/management. The tour is cancelled, and Apollo disappears from the public eye - but not before "coming out" (this was largely seen as speculation/rumors, not an actual confirmation of his sexuality, and largely forgotten by fans) August 13 - 29: Athens Summer Olympics, Darren and Apollo final meeting (until 2019)

2007

March (age 27): Naomi Solace dies of a stroke before a concert on her tour May (age 28): Will moves in with Apollo

2010

November (age 31): Apollo meets Leo December: Kayla moves in

2011

March: Apollo meets Nico

okay i THINK those are all the important dates/events - hope it all makes sense!! if there are any questions abt apollo's backstory, or just general questions about this timeline (or, if there's an inconsistency that i somehow missed- for some reason, the first time i wrote this timeline, i wrote that kayla was conceived at the 2004 olympics. which makes. zero sense. seeing as she was born in april of that year. so yeah.) but anyway!! i love talking abt apollo and i realize there is a LOT of lore/backstory around him that i haven't gotten around to explaining, and i love rambling. thank you so much for the ask!!

[jake-fieldsrp]

full name — Jake Kyrie Fields

faceclaim — Mason Gooding

gender & pronouns — Male & He/Him

sexuality — Bisexual

age & birthday —  32 & January 31, 1992

Zodiac — Aquarius ☼ , Aries ☾, Scorpio↑

occupation — Musician/unemployed

hometown — Merrock, ME

living — The Suburbs

~Biographical Stuff~

Grew up the second oldest in a crew of 4 kids (WC, Jake, twins Jasmine & Jackson) to Robin and Henry Fields in Merrock.

Sort of picturesque, always with all the support his family, they're a tight bunch.

Always had a ying and yang personality, social butterfly when he wants to be and just as easily reclusive and find joy in being alone too.

Was into sports like his brother much more when younger - still maintains a work out routine and will play the occasional pick up game here and there.

Was a theater kid in hs, ditched the football for a drum set. (And this is what you missed on Glee!) Formed a band with some buddies - Tried & True Down Dickies (don't ask) and played all over Merrock (even the bars where ofc they were served, oop)

School and studies never really interested Jake. He loved to read though, could be found reading musician biographies, to the classics. Almost always had a book on him. But school outside friends, and the social aspect he was pretty bored.

Jake was a partier for sure, the social butterfly in him had him making and keeping friends pretty easy and of all walks. Weekends were consistent parties. He experimented with drugs and drinking early.

In high school he met his first love, a wild, crazy and turbulent relationship with Mena Serrano ensued. The kind of relationship Jake wouldn't have thought real outside the movies. Fire and Ice to a tee.

In 2010 he graduated high school and almost immediately (k like, a month or two) into summer just before all his friends were off to respective colleges or starting up jobs in Merrock, Jake and the TTDD's hopped in the old Ford Windstar they'd piled their earnings together to buy and head to the Big Apple.

Over the years and a handful of band members down, new people and the music scene Jake and 3 others started an indie rock band Bleached Bush (who knows what the intentions are there mmkay) and actually grew a small following, even touring bars and small venues.

One year back in Merrock for the holidays— as the two do have a constant push and pull relationship, unable to fully quit one another — he had gotten Mena pregnant. He knew, but he had obligations back in New York. So, he left. As many a time before. By 2019 he had a son, Mateo.

Mateo's 5 now and Jake has never met him. (Trust there's a lot of backlash and inner fam. turmoil over this decision.)

The band broke up— members fell into relationships, opted for different career choices, had kids of their own — just no more room for a side gig that seemed to be going nowhere anymore.

With the expense of the city becoming much more noticeable at 32, and no band. And no income to even send that $100 in April to Mateo, Jake's bit the bullet, tail tucked between his legs back to Merrock. ~Random Stuff~

Has a bit of that Mainard accent - especially when drinking, naturally it comes out more.

Is tatted - almost a full sleeve on his left arm. His right leg covered. His first (probably stupidly so) Mena on his right shoulder. Right along with his first bands long ass name but abbreviated (TTDD- similar font to Taylors TTPD, and trust he'll be the first to tell you he did it first, she copied him) He did get Mateo's name tattoo'd under his collarbone.

Gravitated to the drums first probably mostly because it got out a lot of that pent up energy.

Never had any issues with labeling his sexuality - he's been attracted to both guys and girls. Has had experiences with both, never felt the real need to define himself in that regard.

For now he's living in his old bedroom back at his parents house in the burbs.

While in NY, along with odd bartending jobs here and there, Jake did some modeling for art students to really make ends meet. ~Connections~

High School friends/hook ups/enemies - skies the limit there. Anything we can concoct.

Bandmates - why not? could be fun

Exes/FWB - obvious

People he met in NY - all walks of life, again skies the limit.

Art students/instructors etc etc that painted/drew him :D - why not

Those he met on the road - met at a show, had a wild and crazy night.

Later in life friends/enemies - those he met coming back to Merrock for the holidays.

Those upset with him - its no secret he did Mena and Meteo dirty. Come @ him.

Legit down for anything, if there’s ideas toss them out. On dash chem is my favorite and just love winging it too! I’ll fill this all out more as time goes on for sure!

p.s. idk what happened w the bullets; tumblah just not working for moi. i gave up.

[black-arcana]

Watch: BUTCHER BABIES Play First Concert Since Singer CARLA HARVEY's Exit

Fan-filmed video of BUTCHER BABIES's July 27 performance at the Stonehenge festival in Steenwijk, The Netherlands can be seen below. The gig marked the band's first live appearance since the official departure of BUTCHER BABIES' co-founding co-vocalist Carla Harvey.

The band announced Harvey's exit in a social media post on July 20. BUTCHER BABIES wrote: "As you may have already guessed, it is confirmed that Carla Harvey and BUTCHER BABIES have officially parted ways.

"Carla has been an integral part of our journey, bringing her unique talent, passion, and energy to the band. We are grateful for the incredible memories we've made together and the impact she has had on our music and our fans. We will miss her greatly and we wish her all the best in her future endeavors.

"We deeply appreciate your support over the past 15 years," BUTCHER BABIES added. "We feel incredibly fortunate to keep making and playing music as our career, and we are excited for this new era of BUTCHER BABIES!

"See you on the road."

Carla added in a separate post: "Over the last 6 months You may have noticed my absence from BUTCHER BABIES posts. After 15 years of dedication, I wanted to let you know that I will not be rejoining the band for any future endeavors.

"I am super proud of my work with BUTCHER BABIES…2 EPS, 5 Full lengths albums and countless tours with our metal heroes! To all of our incredible BUTCHER BABIES friends and fans…you have provided me with some of the greatest experiences of my life! I have loved every second of writing and performing all over the world for you! I have loved meeting you. WOW. I still can't believe this kid from Detroit got so lucky.

"I am not done making music and performing. I WILL see you soon".

Last fall, BUTCHER BABIES completed a European tour without Carla, who sat out the trek in order to undergo emergency surgery on her left eye.

Harvey shared the news of her absence from the tour on October 26, 2023 in a social media post. The 47-year-old singer, who co-founded BUTCHER BABIES in 2010 with fellow vocalist Heidi Shepherd, posted a photo of her performing with her bandmates, and she included the following message: "Here's a picture of a girl in her happy place; unfortunately i won't be in that happy place on the upcoming @butcherbabies Euro run. Love you all but i have to sit this one out!

"I have a history of problematic vision and I had to have a major surgery about 10 years ago in my right eye for a retinal detachment. On our summer tour the telltale symptoms repeated themselves in my left eye. I've been hoping to avoid major surgery but it is clear that it must be done. My emergency surgery will include a healing process of laying face down for a number of days with a gas bubble in my eye."

Carla added: "This is the first time in fifteen years i won't be able to join my friends on stage but right now my health and sight take precedence for me. While I am gutted that I cannot make the tour the risk of me waiting till after a tour to do such a surgery is too great and includes permanent vision loss. The beauty of having two vocalists is that Heidi can cover for me until i'm better!

"Hoping to make it out for part of this euro run...go to the shows, have a blast and support my bandmates for me! I'll see you soon!"

In the comments section, Shepherd voiced her support for her then-bandmate, writing: "Sending all the love and healing. We'll hold down the fort while you heal. We need those beautiful eyes to work!!! Love you!"

BUTCHER BABIES' three-week European tour is scheduled to conclude on August 17 at the Czech Republic's Rock Of Sadská festival.

This past January, Harvey and ANTHRAX and PANTERA drummer Charlie Benante announced that they were officially engaged.

BUTCHER BABIES released a double album "Eye For An Eye..." and "…'Til The World's Blind", in July 2023. The double album celebrates the tenth anniversary of BUTCHER BABIES' critically acclaimed debut, "Goliath", released on July 9, 2013 via Century Media Records.

BUTCHER BABIES' previous album, 2017's "Lilith" was produced by Steve Evetts (THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN, SEPULTURA, SUICIDE SILENCE) and marked the band's recording debut with drummer Chase Brickenden, who replaced Chris Warner in 2016.

In July 2019, longtime BUTCHER BABIES bassist Jason Klein announced his departure from the band. He has since been replaced by Ricky Bonazza.

Stonehenge 2024 - Butcher Babies Posted by Richard Siebels on Saturday, July 27, 2024

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson Announces 2024 Australian Tour

19 July 2023 | 7:11 am | Ellie Robinson

The former One Directioner is giving us ‘Faith In The Future’ with this run of huge local dates.

UK pop heartthrob (and of course, former One Direction member) Louis Tomlinson has announced his second-ever solo tour of Australia, just under a year on from his first trip Down Under.

The last run Tomlinson took to Australian shores (the first show of which went down exactly a year ago today in Meanjin/Brisbane) saw him play a suite of cuts from his 2020 solo debut, Walls, as well as a few One Direction hits and a couple other covers. This time around, he’ll be showcasing his second solo album, Faith In The Future, which arrived last November and sported gems like Bigger Than Me, Out Of My System and Silver Tongues.

The tour will begin in Melbourne (Naarm) on Sunday January 8, 2024, when Tomlinson and his band take to the stage at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl. They’ll head to Brisbane (Meanjin) next, playing the Riverstage on Tuesday January 30, before wrapping up at Sydney’s Qudos Bank Arena on Friday February 2.

Tickets for all three shows go on sale at 12pm local time next Tuesday (July 25). An exclusive presale for Vodafone customers will kick off at 10am this Friday (July 21) – running for 72 hours until the same time on Monday (July 24) – followed by a Live Nation presale at 11am on Monday. Head here to learn how you can be first to score tix through the Vodafone presale, or here to keep tabs on the general sale and Live Nation presale.

We wouldn’t be surprised if these shows sold out insanely fast – Faith In The Future was a smash hit with local listeners, hitting #2 on the ARIA Charts. And let’s not forget, Tomlinson is one of the most iconic boy band figures of the 2000s and 2010s... Seems like a pretty good time to jump on the Vodafone train, hey?

“Australia is somewhere I’ve always loved and really enjoyed visiting,” Tomlinson said in a press release. “I have some incredible tour memories there and I can’t wait to return and bring the Faith In The Future tour to Australia.”

LOUIS TOMLINSON

2023 AUSTRALIAN TOUR

Sunday January 28 – Naarm/Melbourne, Sidney Myer Music Bowl

Tuesday January 30 – Meanjin/Brisbane, Riverstage

Friday February 2 – Eora/Sydney, Qudos Bank Arena

Presale: vodafone.com.au

Tickets: livenation.com.au

[aci32]

MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey folks, sorry for running two days late but better late than never, here is my 1st review of 2024, Machine Head!!!!!!!! It was my first gig in 2 months as the last one I saw was Cattle Decapitation and Immolation last December, I was going to see Exmortus but I decided against it due to pre holiday stress getting to me. This was the first time in 4 years I had seen MH as I last saw them when they did their evening with tour, and it was the first of two shows I saw that year a month before covid took a stranglehold on the world, second show was Vader two weeks later. Plus when I saw them 4 years ago it was when they played Burn My Eyes in it's entirety in the 2nd half of their set after they played the first half of their songs from all their catalog, which to me is a show that won't get topped.

Let's begin the festivities!

First band up was Gates to Hell. I had looked them up on metal archives and they looked like a band I wouldn't be into, sure enough my point was proven as I found them boring like I do with a majority of metalcore and deathcore bands and it was all the more reason to save my headbanging energy. I then said to my pal Alex "Stogie" Stojanovic in a joking manner "I at least didn't get splashed with water in my face twice".

Next band up was Orbit Culture!!! Compared to Gates to Hell, these guys were better as their songs were more groovy since they are a mix of Melo Death and Groove Metal and plus they had great stage presence. When I heard them live I was hearing some Dark Tranquillity vibes off of them. At one point during their set frontman Niklas Karlsson had said "Of the shows we've played in Canada, I think this is the biggest? But it's also the weakest" which elicited boos from the crowd but he did give them a pep talk to start moshing and crowdsurfing more, which they did and he would then compliment Toronto's energy and efforts.

After Orbit Culture it was time for Fear Factory!! This was my 3rd time seeing Fear Factory as it had been almost 11 years since I last saw them which was also the last time I would see them with Burton C. Bell as he had acrimoniously left Fear Factory as the previously squashed beef between him and Dino Cazares had ignited almost 4 years ago and it came as a shock to all of us, especially when it was at the height of covid at that time. So they got a new singer from Rome, Italy in the name of Milo Silvestro and his growls and cleans almost sounded identical to Burton's vocal style, which was scary in a sense but I was otherwise pleasantly surprised with that performance. I'll also point out I've now seen Fear Factory three times with three different drummers and three different bassists respectively: 2010 was Byron Stroud and Gene Hoglan from Strapping Young Lad so it was ½ FF and ½ SYL. 2013 was Matt Devries who is also rhythm guitarist for Chimaira and Mike Heller formerly of Malignancy and who now plays for Raven, so ½ FF and ¼ Chimaira and ¼ Malignancy. This year was Tony Campos from Static X and Pete Webber from Havok, so ½ FF and ¼ Static X and ¼ Havok. Also when Dino Cazares had finished introducing the band members he said "I think I speak for all the fat dudes here how many fat guys we got *many raised their horns and yelled* we got some XXL shirts at the merch booth or as I call them Dino size" which had Stogie and I cracking up. Here's FF's setlist:

1. Shock

2. Edgecrusher

3. Powershifter

4. Disruptor

5. Fuel Injected Suicide Machine

6. Linchpin

7. Slave Labor

8. Demanufacture

9. Replica

After FF it was time for MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 7th time seeing Machine Head and first time in almost 12 years I see them play at a large nightclub as last time that happened was when I saw MH at Rebel as direct support for Dethklok, in which looking back on it MH stole the show. This was also the first time in 12 years I had seen MH on tour with opening acts as I last saw that on January 28th, 2012 at Rebel then known as Sound Academy with Darkest Hour and Suicide Silence on the Unto the Locust tour. Each time I've seen them live they just get better with each performance. Before Aesthetics of Hate and then dedicating it to Dimebag Darrell, Robb Flynn had said the following "Holy Shit Toronto! Goddamn! We got some rowdy motherfuckers for a monday night here in Canada, lemme hear you make some noise Toronto *crowd roars* nah nah nah let me hear you make some NOIIIISSSEEE *crowd roars louder* fuck. I tell you what, it is awesome to be back now, so awesome to be back. We got here, actually we got here last night, yesterday afternoon, I went walkin around, it totally brought back all these crazy memories of the first time Machine Head played in Toronto. So the first tour we did was opening for Napalm Death and Obituary and we played over at the Opera House so I walked by the Opera House and then we came back with Slayer a little while later and we did a little show called umm.. I think it was Much Music or something like that? They had us come on and play Davidian and I walked by that building and I was like 'oh shit' and all these killer memories came back and I just wanna say man it feels good to be back in your fuckin city man thank you". Also at the end of Aesthetics of Hate, there was a silhouette of Dimebag on the screen, which was a touching gesture. As MH were performing Unto the Locust Robb had made commented on the weed being smoked and he admired the smell of it as it made him say "woooooo". Before their last song Halo and opening band acknowledgements, Robb Flynn did another speech "Like I said earlier, we got some rowdy motherfuckers on a monday night in Toronto fuck! How's everybody in the balcony doing man, you guys doing alright back there? Fuckin eh, ragers ragers over here man. And how's all my motherfuckers in the circle pit doing, you guys doing alright? Where's the captain? I love all the masks, everyone's wearing the fuckin ram skull masks I love it, see people go *makes horn crashing sound with his fists punching together* where's the captain at? I need your captain's hat man, I need that no no no, bring it up here, I need that captain's hat, that's some good shit *Adam Cooper brings his hat to Robb Flynn* Slayer captain's hat, thanks Toronto". I'll also point out that Wacław "Vogg" Kieltyka wasn't on this tour due to his commitments with Decapitated so instead Reece "Babyface" Scruggs from Havok was in the band on lead guitar duties, so this tour was definitely linked with Havok members. Here's MH's setlist:

1. Imperium

2. Ten Ton Hammer

3. CHØKE ØN THE ASHES ØF YØUR HATE

4. Aesthetics of Hate

5. Old

6. Locust

7. The Blood, the Sweat, the Tears (Robb Flynn renamed the last part Beers)

8. NØ GØDS, NØ MASTERS

9. SLAUGHTER THE MARTYR

10. Bulldozer

11. From this Day

12. Davidian

13. Halo

Overall, an awesome metal show and a great way to kick off the 2024 concert season for me.

HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dustedmagazine]

Sandwell District — Where Next? (The Point of Departure Recording Co.)

It should have been a question. The transcontinental collective known as Sandwell District had been defunct and assumed shuttered for years, its fax machine disconnected, its Situationist International Tumblr since overtaken, when the sudden, unexpected announcement in early 2023 of a reissue effort for 2010’s celebrated Feed-Forward revived interest among the techno faithful. Its key members had been operating independently for long enough that the prospect of a return was sufficiently dim, yet here was proof of life — that the mark of anonymous, forward-thinking dance music from these corners hadn’t yet been buried. Half a year on from the reissue, another curious missive in the form of a compilation and the announcement of a Primavera Sound gig. Something was afoot. “Where next?” should’ve been appended directly with “Why now?”

Instead, it’s an elegy.

Juan Mendez (aka Silent Servant) died alongside fellow Los Angeles artist Luis Vasquez (The Soft Moon) and Mendez’s partner Simone Ling January 18th at the age of 46. Every review of Where Next? you read will address this, so it’s not necessary to belabor its circumstances or the outpouring of grief in its wake, but suffice to say that Mendez was beloved in L.A. and beyond for his work both as a producer — which he was still a master of, as his (ill-)fittingly titled In Memoriam EP out in November on Tresor confirms — and, crucially to Sandwell, its visual language. One of the key components of Sandwell District was its resolute anonymity; for years, if you were buying music off these guys, it was white label 12s with no identification save a stamp of the name and a fax number. Mendez was the one who gave the group that Situationist-inspired aesthetic, lent depth and a difficult but still discernible additional dimension that otherwise may not have been there. In retrospect, it feels like no accident that the zine, the music and the “moment” all collided at the same time; four protagonists with years of experience behind them peaking in simpatico is an exceedingly rare thing in the dance world, and to have it happen as it did was both carefully orchestrated and worth all the praise. Dusted was no exception.

Without Mendez, Sandwell District’s revival now feels precarious, uncomfortable, indeterminate. The remaining core members — Karl O’Connor (aka Regis), Dave Sumner (Function) and Peter Sutton (Female) — must return to and reassess the question of this very compilation, whose existence initially struck me as a cynical money grab but, more charitably and with more consideration, could also have been intended as a siren for something new en route, a way of reminding those who were there and a slap in the face to those who weren’t that this group wasn’t just your run-of-the-mill Tuesday night Berghain residents, this was something else.

And what was that? Take a listen: From 2002 to 2012, a dozen tracks assembled for this comp mine Sandwell District (the label) for a retrospective that graphically displays the production talent at work while still leaving something on the table. The credits here all say “Sandwell District &,” but it’s superfluous; regardless of liner notes, however, the music holds up and you know what you’re getting right from the off with Function’s “Reykjavik,” originally from 2007’s “Isolation” 12”. A wobbling, heavy low end and the lightest touch of hi-hat establish the pulse, with a twinkling alien transmission straight from a 1950s sci-fi movie offering counterweight. It’s the crashing handclap and subsequent, seemingly endless decay at 30 seconds that really wakes you up, though — like the uneasy ambiance, a familiar trope of the group’s oeuvre but one forever deployed with the deftest of touches.

“Reykjavik” is one of the two earliest songs from this compilation; the other, CH-Signal Laboratories (8003 Lucerne)’s “Hypnotica Scale (Original Mix),” preceded it in ‘07 and was originally titled simply as “Scale 1 (Original Mix).” It’s a rolling IDM number that feels more primitive, less cognizant than the productions that would follow in its use of space in your headphones. It’s also arguably the thinnest track here from one of the few names in Sandwell’s history that was never fully declassified but to my ears sounds like Sumner’s work.

As the most prominent faces of the collective (Mendez was reticent and Sutton all but invisible at the group’s peak), O’Connor and Sumner often seemed to be the ones with the heaviest hands in final output, too — consider Sumner did the final Fabric mixdown, for instance. The balance gets partly redressed here: O’Connor gets credit for two songs and two edits; Sumner gets five songs (six if you count CH-Signal); Mendez gets four; and Sutton gets a song and a remix under the Kalon alias, which he shared alongside Karl Meier, a fellow member of O’Connor’s Birmingham-based Downwards posse. It works to great effect; if you hadn’t known this was a compilation spanning half a decade and not a cohesive album from a single set of sessions, nothing gives it away. Both sequencing and pace are thoughtfully examined as the album obliterates your speakers at the proper volume and eventually rolls into the station after some 70 minutes with the only song that really lets you up for air, “Inter.”

Still, questions remain. Timing aside, foremost among them is why this comp starts with tracks from 2007 and not 2002; that’s scything half of the label’s existence out of the picture, and it’s not like “Untergang” or “Cally 2” are much the worse for wear at this remove. More pointedly, why are any singles missing at all? A double or triple LP either mixed to its constituents’ satisfaction or arranged chronologically would’ve been equally potent.

Another question: Wherefore art thou, Rrose? Like Meier, Yves de May and Bob Ostertag, Seth Horvitz existed on the outskirts of the District, only entering the frame in Feed-Forward’s wake — but it feels grossly unjust to neglect Rrose’s contributions in particular as the label wound down and its members moved on. What I said at the time of “Merchant of Salt” stands: Sandwell’s methods were perhaps best executed by an outsider who subsequently struck out into more experimental lands, extending the spirit of the collective’s reach beyond the vision of its original members; in a way, Rrose alone best answered the question posed by this compilation, which only makes their absence more conspicuous.

As with everything else swirling about Sandwell District, explanations will trickle out as glyphs or remain scant, incomplete, perhaps even contradictory. Maybe we won’t know for weeks or months; maybe we will never know. This is all part and parcel of the operation, which remains fun for the sake of intrigue but as listeners can only really leave us to trust our ears and hearts. Scrape away the calcified grayscale complexion, then, and you have what lies beyond the questions — you have the real answer, the one that matters most. Did I say elegy? Sorry, I meant panegyric. Long may it be heard.

Patrick Masterson

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Neil Young :: Even More Honey Slides

Another January, another installment of my Honey Slides mixes for Aquarium Drunkard. This one draws primarily from Neil's "Timeline Concert of the Moment" series on the Archives site. It's cool stuff, giving us full shows from a wide range of eras. If Neil put me in charge, I'd make the whole thing a bit more organized, add some contextual notes, bring out shows that had particular resonance (like since it's the 50th anniversary of the Time Fades Away tour this year, why not post one of those gigs?). But guess what — I'm not in charge! Probably a good thing in the long run.

Anyhoo! For the third annual Honey Slides extravaganza, I've grabbed a few Timeline Concert highlights (as well as a choice Barn jam) for your enjoyment. Stretching from 1976 to 2010, it’s all electric and leans heavily towards the darker, grittier side of Young’s material. Plenty of Crazy Horse, of course, but also the Stray Gators, Booker T. & the M.G.’s, the International Harvesters and more. Slide on into this one.

[actual-lich-queen]

Ghost History: Hammer of Doom IV (debut ritual)

Five days after Opus Eponymous was released by Rise Above Records, Ghost performed their first ritual on October 23rd, 2010 at Hammer of Doom IV[1]. It was not the most auspicious of beginnings. Set to go on stage at 1:30pm [2], Papa Emeritus I and the Nameless Ghouls arrived on stage 15 minutes late and 10 minutes later suffered the loss of one of their guitar amps[3].

Some, hearing Ghost live for the first time, had their doubts.

“In short: even though the band got back on track towards the end with their hit “ritual”, they could live up to their previous praise. [Papa Emeritus’s] charisma on the microphone was simply not tangible enough for that; The band has to make a lot of progress here, because especially when they appear so distant due to their self-imposed image, the lack of communication simply has to be replaced by the aura of the musicians.” -Patrick Müller via Google Translate[3]

“[On the whole] the material couldn't really convince me, the dusty Seventies Rock sounds too toothless and arbitrary. The reactions in the hall were very ambivalent, so some celebrated GHOST with their theatrical appearance with inverted crosses, [mitre] and a lot of incense as the hottest shit since the invention of the electric guitar, others on the other hand withdrew with a smile towards the beer counter, because the performance there provided better entertainment.” -dekleenenils via Google Translate[4]

But the devil worshiping ministry’s mission to spread their unholy gospels[5] is targeted towards “individuals who have a void in their life perhaps caused by some form of emotional trauma or upset [...] so that in time the easily manipulated will come to share the views and goals of the Coven’s ministry and can prepare their own plans for the downfall of humanity.”[6]

Not all in that first crowd were unreceptive to Ghost’s ministry.

“Musically, I can only say that I really enjoy the mix of seventies rock, progressive parts and a large amount of NWoBHM*! This organ! Hammer! The biggest surprise of this kind. The satanic lyrics that the band [...] want to bring to humanity are the most lovely melodies and the clear, beautiful vocals! Now the term “Powerpop,” which they advertise on their MySpace page, finally has a meaning. Very contradictory, but absolutely convincing as a whole package! [...] I also had no luck with the [buying of] the T-shirt. I first wanted to wait and see whether the band could  convince me musically and when I went to the merchandise stand after the gig, it was completely sold out.” -Chris via Google Translate[2]

And it only takes a spark to light the fires of hell. The ministry of Ghost had only just begun.

“Our mission is not as much about conversion as it is about underlining which path you have chosen to go, and where it will ultimately lead you,” declared Ghost in a rare communiqué. “We are the file playing back in your digital earpiece while you are carelessly approaching the end.”[6]

*Common abbreviation of New Wave of British Heavy Metal

[1]Ghost Concert Setlists (page 90) | setlist.fm

[2]Festivalbericht HAMMER OF DOOM IV (amboss-mag.de)

[3]Obliveon :: Metal und Gothic Webzine (archive.org)

[4]Hammer Of Doom IV - 23.10.2010 - Würzburg, Posthalle @ Bloodchamber.de

[5]Ghost – “Ritual” - Stereogum (archive.org)

[6]Ghost's 'Opus Eponymous' To Receive U.S. Release In January - Blabbermouth.net (archive.org)

Read More:

Decided to start cross-posting the work I was doing for my fansite because I am vain and like attention to help preserve it against the careless history (or lack thereof) of the internet.

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 4

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 4: We Should Be Friends

May 2010

After they’d posted their first collab a few months prior, their YouTube channels had started to receive a lot more attention. It was very evident that people preferred their chemistry and energy together rather than apart, so they decided to capitalise on that as often as they could. Why not? They had an amazing time filming together anyway.

During Phil’s first visit to Whockingham, he and Dan decided to give pinof (like everyone, including themselves, began to call it) a mighty counterpart, not a sequel, but… a different twist on the concept, this time on Dan’s channel. The questions were quite different from those they received for pinof, or as Dan put it, they were the same fans but they found it easier to express themselves on his channel. That might’ve been true since Dan received creepy mail from them often, while Phil got drawings and cute things for the most part.

A surprising aspect of sharing their friendship online was that people really shipped them. They didn’t say it out loud at first, but then the conversation started shifting from fans speaking to them to fans speaking about them, usually in places where Dan and Phil could easily see it, like Tumblr and Twitter.

It was no big deal at the time so they decided to carry on without paying the shippers any mind as long as they were not rude or super invasive.

---

January - June 2010 

Moving back home with his parents after his master had been good the first few months. He even felt that he had a better relationship with his dad. It’s not that he didn’t love Phil, but he’d had so many expectations that didn’t align with what Phil wanted whatsoever, so there was no way Phil was going to fulfil them. The cordless hammer drill he’d given Phil for his birthday was testament enough of it.

Phil could be many things but the so-called ‘manly type’ was certainly not one of them. He was sensitive and he wore skinny jeans and eyeliner - and he liked men. But still, he felt a bit closer to his father now that they had shared a home as adults for some time.

Phil threw himself back onto his old bed and let out a huff. He felt like such a couch potato but he didn’t want to see anyone or do anything. As of late, he just felt like sleeping all day and playing games all night. His family was not fond of the little routine he had going but at the same time he was 23 years old, it’s not like they could tell him what to do like when he was a child. On the other hand, they were still his parents and this was still their home so the situation was a bit strange. 

He was an adult, but he still wasn’t any good at it. It was as if he hadn’t fully developed yet and he often felt like everyone else had things figured out except for him. Anja had a good job and lived with her girlfriend. Most of his childhood friends had moved out and were able to support themselves - even Richard - and Phil was finding it hard to find a steady job.

He had a gig editing… “Adult videos” for the summer but then he was done. 

Phil’s stomach growled, reminding him that he had refused to go down to eat all day to avoid his dad and the talk he so eagerly wanted to have. He had managed to put it off for nearly 24 hours but if he didn’t eat something soon he was going to faint - again.

Huffing, Phil sat up and regretted it immediately when his world spun. He took a deep breath and got out of bed, making his way downstairs with one hand to the wall to avoid falling. He walked into the empty kitchen and thought luck would be on his side this time, but when the microwave dinged announcing that the leftovers were ready, his dad appeared seemingly out of thin air.

“I thought you were never going to come out,” his dad joked, making Phil feel like shit for avoiding him.

“Sorry, I was just sleeping,” he said, grabbing the plate from the microwave and sitting at the breakfast bar.

“Are you sure?” his dad asked suspiciously, eyeing him carefully. “You look pale and your dark circles are only getting deeper.”

“Jeez, thanks Dad.” Phil rolled his eyes, already angry, even if he didn’t know why.

His dad raised his hands and took a small step back. “I’m just worried about you, that's all.”

Phil let out a small sigh. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m still tired. I’m alright.” He pushed the rice in his plate around, not really eating anything. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Your mum and I were talking a few days ago and… we are wondering what your plans are - for the future,” he said, finally coming to sit next to Phil.

“I don’t know yet,” Phil mumbled, trying to make himself smaller in his stool.

“We think it would be best if you find a job and move out j-”

“You’re kicking me out?” Phil said, dropping his fork and looking at him.

“No, Phil. Well… we know that you don’t really want to live here, but you don’t seem to know what you’re doing. You can’t sleep all day and stay up all night playing games forever. You’re wasting away.”

“I can’t believe you are kicking me out,” Phil said, his voice shaking a little in a mix of anger and hurt.

His dad put a hand on his shoulder. “We are not kicking you to the streets, just giving you a little push. We will help you move and give you money if you need it. And you’ll always have a place to return to if anything were to happen, you know that. We are worried about you,” he said. “And we want to see you do well, living your own life as an adult.”

Phil looked into his eyes.“I guess… you are right. I just don’t know what I’m doing,” he mumbled.

“That’s normal. Nobody is born knowing these things. We have all summer to figure it out - together.”

Phil nodded and finally took the first bite. The rice was already a bit too cold.

---

August 2010

Moving to Manchester turned out to be a blessing. He managed to land a job at the Disney Store that didn’t totally suck, and he had his very own place. His flat was basically a shoebox on Jefferson Place overlooking a prison but he didn’t have to share with anyone for the time being. 

Well, he wasn’t officially sharing with anyone, but as Dan had promised in one of his YouTube videos, as soon as he started uni at Manchester, he “dumped all of his shit” at Phil’s and visited as often as he could. It was amazing to have his friend so close by, he was a great source of entertainment, and it kept Phil from going insane or staying in and getting cabin fever - if you could get cabin fever by living alone in Manchester. 

Dan had helped Phil so many times in his life, just being there, being his friend and listening to his weird rants, and Phil was glad to have the opportunity to pay Dan back by being a bit of the voice of experience when it came to uni matters, and to provide Dan with a quiet place to study, or to have a breakdown when he needed it.

One fateful afternoon, barely 10 minutes after Phil walked in from work, the doorbell rang and when he opened the door, he saw Dan, soaking wet with a huge pile of laundry in a trash bag, lips trembling and eyes filled with unshed tears. 

He knew better than to ask, so instead, he pulled Dan into a hug and grabbed the bag from him slowly, setting it on the floor. “It’s ok,” he mumbled into Dan’s hair. “Go sit on the sofa and I’ll make us some tea.”

“Thanks,” Dan said and made himself at home, taking his spot on the sofa, just like always.

Phil put on the kettle and set the cups on the counter before putting the first load into the washer; it looked like it would be probably three. “Are you having laundry problems again?”

“I’m having all sorts of problems… laundry is only one of them.”

“Anything I can do about it?” 

Dan let out a huff and stared at the ceiling. “I guess… I just don’t fit in - anywhere. I thought this would be different, no rocks, no punches in the locker room, but it’s still the same. I’m still too fucking lame to make friends, my roommates are insane, people still gossip about me and I hate most of my classes. What’s the point of studying psych if I can’t figure out my own fucking problems?”

“You are cool, Dan. If your roommates don’t like you, that’s on them. You are one of the kindest people I know, who wouldn’t want to be your friend?” Phil asked, pouring the hot water into their mugs and bringing them over to the coffee table very carefully before sitting at his side. “Just hang out with other people, you don’t need to be their friend.”

“It’s easy for you to say, you make friends so easily.”

“I don’t, not anymore, I think. It was easier when I was a kid and I didn’t realise people found me weird, and then I figured out I’m gay and nobody else was,” Phil said, thinking back to high school. “Well, Anja is a lesbian but I didn’t know that until much later. I’ve been awkward all my life, but I eventually learned to pick the right people and to leave the judgemental ones behind. If they don’t like me, I don’t like them either.”

“You have the best personality ever. Anyone who doesn’t like you is crazy,” Dan said after a long pause.

“Well, that’s how I feel about you too,” Phil said, patting Dan’s knee. 

“Thanks, Phil, really,” Dan said. “You’re a good friend.”

Phil nodded and tried to keep a straight face. “Now, about the laundry-”

Dan pushed him. “Shut up! Someone just took my load out and left it on the floor soaking, I’ve fucking had it.”

“That’s at least 3 loads, it won’t wash properly if you put too much in.”

“Your mum has too much in,” Dan retorted.

“Hey!”

“Fine, you have too much in!”

“Well, sometimes, but good friends keep quiet about it,” Phil said, giggling.

Dan blushed and hit him with one of the sofa cushions.

Their tea mugs sat on the coffee table, untouched.

-----

December 10th 2010

Phil sat on his bed staring at Dan through the pixelated Skype call, restlessly rocking back and forward, fixing his fringe and picking at his fingers absentmindedly. He wouldn’t have even noticed he was doing it if Dan hadn’t pointed it out.

“What’s with you, mate?” Dan asked.

Phil huffed at his computer and consequently at Dan’s smirking face on Skype. “I feel like I’m about to get sick. There’s something wrong with me.”

Dan’s face dropped. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just not normal,” he whined.

“Phil…” Dan said, his tone a clear warning.

“I just - Listen, Frasier got into a relationship, Mark is away chasing some guys from Essex and my other regular just stopped answering my texts. I haven’t had any sex in like two months and I feel like I’m going insane. Is that normal?”

Dan’s eyebrows shot up and he cackled.

“I’m serious! Sometimes I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I feel like I need to have sex constantly or I start getting in a bad mood. People can actually tell when I come back from someone’s house because I’m all smiles and I’m cheerful, then my mood drops as the days go by and now I think my friends are actually avoiding me. Am I sick?”

“I think it’s normal at our age. You got used to always having an option at hand and now your endless supply has run dry. You just need to get laid,” Dan said.

“Well, with whom? I don’t want to go ‘hunting’?” Phil said, meaning going out to a pub and meeting someone new. He was a bit over that.

“Ok, since you are not taking the hint, I will be more clear. I mean me. Do me,” Dan said with an awkward wink.

Phil’s mouth nearly hit the ground. To be honest, he had thought about it but only vaguely since Dan didn’t seem interested. “A-are you serious?”

“Yeah… if you want,” Dan said, scratching the back of his head.

“You don’t have to do this for me if you don’t want to, really. I don’t want you to feel pressured into it, I was just venting,” Phil said, feeling a bit embarrassed but also quite interested. 

“You would be doing me a favour. I am also out of options and we are friends, why not enjoy it, right? It would be fun.”

Phil contemplated it for a moment but smiled and nodded. It would definitely be fun, like everything he did with Dan. It would be great. “Ok, so… when. And Where?”

“Since your parents are in Miami, why don’t I come over tomorrow and help you desecrate your childhood bed?” Dan smirked. “Ever had anyone over?”

Phil shook his head. “Not for sex.”

“Perfect,” Dan smiled.

---

They met in Manchester Piccadilly once again and took the bus to Phil’s childhood home, no extra stops or sightseeing this time. They hadn’t agreed on when it would happen so the anticipation, the tension between them and the little smiles Dan was giving him were driving Phil mad. He wanted to take it slow but he also wanted Dan in his bed immediately.

Phil took a calming breath as they entered the house, taking their coats and hanging them. The silence was deafening. “Do you want to order pizza and watch a movie?” he offered, trying to cut the tension.

“Yeah,” Dan said, looking relieved. He dropped his bag on the ground and went about checking Phil’s new DVD collection while Phil ordered.

Once the pizza was safely on the coffee table, they plopped down on the sofa and pressed play. Phil smiled when he saw the title screen for Wall-e; he had been meaning to watch that movie but he didn’t enjoy movies as much if he was home alone so watching it with Dan for the first time was just ideal. 

The night was a bit of a rollercoaster. They commented along with the plot, marvelling at how cute Wall-e was, laughing at the jokes and nearly choking on the pizza when they thought Wall-e was dead. Dan was fully sobbing at that point but then… then Eva saved him, she helped him get better; just like Dan and Phil helped each other through the rough times.

Without giving it another thought, Phil wiped away Dan’s tears and pressed their lips together, pulling Dan into a hug and rubbing comforting circles on his back. It was a brief and sweet moment but when he tried to pull away, Dan looked into his eyes, buried his fingers in Phil’s hair and pulled him even closer, kissing him again.

Phil gasped and before he knew it, Dan was all over him, kissing him with more enthusiasm than anyone before. He ran his tongue on Phil’s lips, pulling at his hoodie and pressing him into the sofa, their breaths quickening.

Laughing, Phil pushed at Dan’s chest gently until the other paused, looking at him with wide eyes. Oh, how Phil loved those beautiful brown eyes. “Let’s go upstairs,” he said, breathlessly.

“Ok, yeah,” Dan said, helping Phil to stand and running up the stairs, but once they got to the bedroom door, he hesitated, not wanting to go inside.

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand in reassurance. “Hey, it’s ok if you don’t want to do anything. You know that, right?”

“No! I mean - I know that!” Dan said, biting his lip. “It’s not that, it’s just that… there’s something I haven’t told you, something big.”

Phil frowned, trying to guess what Dan was talking about. “What is it? You can tell me anything!”

“You remember my girlfriend, right?” Dan asked. “From high school.”

“Yeah, are you still together?” Phil asked, his stomach dropping. He had honestly no idea where this was going.

“No, no-no no,” Dan said, stalling. “I had a girlfriend but it was like only two months because I couldn’t do it with her,” he gestured vaguely. 

Phil cocked his head at him. Was Dan trying to tell him that he had issues getting it up? He didn’t say anything hoping that Dan would elaborate so he didn’t have to think of something to say without putting his foot in his mouth.

“I couldn’t because… for the last 3 years I’ve been fucking Emily,” he mumbled, trailing off as he went to the point where Phil could barely make out the end of that sentence.

Phil’s face dropped and so did his jaw, his stomach, his heart. “What!? Your ugly cousin???!”

“NO!” Dan said, his brow burrowing into a frown. “Oh, my god! I said EMILIO!... Emilio,” he repeated, this time lowering his eyes to the floor.

“Oh,” Phil said, remembering that name. That was one of Dan’s emo friends.

“It’s over, but I haven’t been able to be with anyone else,” Dan said, barely breathing as he continued to explain himself. “He manipulated me so much, that’s why I didn’t always reply. He was constantly checking in on me and he didn’t want to make it official, but he also didn’t want me to be with anyone else. I don’t even know if I’m gay or if he just damaged me that much. I never thought about it, he just offered sex and I said yes because why would I say no? I was just horny.”

“Oh, Dan,” Phil said, pulling him into a hug. “We don’t have to do anything, you don’t need to prove anything to me or even yourself. It’s ok to take your time to figure it out, you know?”

Dan pressed his face into Phil’s neck, making the next words that came out of his mouth sound quite muffled. “I know, but I feel like - like it’s different with you. I’ve always known you were hot. I don’t need to figure that out, I just didn’t want to keep that secret from you. Nobody knows, none of our friends.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Phil ventured, letting go of Dan. He needed to know where Dan stood even if nothing else happened between them.

“No, I don’t think I ever did,” Dan said, letting out a frustrated huff. “It’s complicated. There was always so much drama. In the end he stopped texting me and one day he shows up at my door with a kid, because he had a girlfriend in another town and he got her pregnant and oh, and the name of the kid? Dan! He gave the kid my fucking name.”

Phil blinked and ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to say. “That’s a lot.” Fuck, that was a stupid comment.

“I know, that’s why I wanted you to know. Do you think I’m disgusting?” Dan asked.

“Dan… for having sex with a guy? I do that! Why would I think it’s disgusting?”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t know… It sounds stupid when you put it like that.”

“It’s not stupid. You’re not stupid,” Phil corrected himself, knowing what Dan meant. “I’m sorry that you felt so confused and manipulated by him. You deserve love and attention and an untainted friendship.”

“Do you think I will ever have that?” Dan looked at him as if Phil held the truth at the tip of his tongue and could simply speak it into existence.

“Yes, of course,” Phil said. “I would wait until you figured out how you feel about your own sexuality before you get into a relationship, but that’s it.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” Dan admitted. “I don’t think I will figure it out anytime soon. I’ve been bullied for being gay my entire life when I didn’t even know if I was gay or not,” he said. “But I still want to try with you, if you want. I feel trust you enough to know that everything will be ok.”

“Are you sure?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded and pressed their lips together. “Please,” he mumbled against Phil’s lips. Somehow, after the difficult talk they’d just had, Phil could tell that Dan was more relaxed and confident, so he let himself be guided to the bed and undressed at Dan’s pace, trusting him to know what he wanted. 

Dan took a step back and looked at Phil’s naked body with hunger. “Do you have lube?” he asked.

Phil scrambled to open his nightstand drawer, making sure to put the different lube flavours and types as well as condoms at the top.

Picking one of the tubes, Dan stared at the label. “Cherry?” he asked, quirking one eyebrow.

“The flavoured ones are only for oral,” Phil explained. “Those don’t mix well with condoms.”

Looking at Phil’s cock, Dan smirked. “Actually, that’s an amazing idea,” he said, uncapping the lube, pouring way too much of it on his target and sinking to his knees. 

Phil felt a bit at a disadvantage being the only one naked, but once Dan’s lips enveloped him, all his hesitation went out the window. Once Dan started to bob his head and use his unfairly huge hands on Phil, he knew he was in trouble. Try as he might, it was embarrassingly fast, but it made Dan super proud of himself if his wolfish smile was any indication. 

Then it was Phil’s turn to undress Dan and explore his body, taking his time to learn what made him gasp and what made his toes curl. Feeling a bit competitive, Phil used every one of his tricks on Dan, pushing his buttons one by one until he was trembling, and only then did he take Dan cock in his mouth as far as he could take it without gagging and swirled his tongue around. Phil went tortuously slow, edging Dan until he was begging him and finally finished him off by hollowing his cheeks and taking him down his throat as he massaged his perineum, making sure to swallow every single drop.

Dan gave him a bewildered look. “You swallowed.”

“I did,” Phil smirked, rubbing his teary eyes with pride. It was the first time he had managed to deepthroat anyone without gagging, but he was not going to admit that to Dan.

“I don’t usually do that,” Dan admitted. “I don’t like the taste.”

“That’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to,” Phil said, his voice a little hoarse. “I don’t usually do it because it’s not ideal to do it with people you don’t know.” He lay down at Dan’s side and laced their fingers together. “It’s good to get tested every six months or so anyway, if you are active at least.”

“I never got tested,” Dan commented.

“You didn’t know, but now you do,” Phil smiled. “And you know I’m clean because I got tested last month.”

Dan nodded and turned towards him, laying one leg over Phil’s before leaning in for a kiss. It was sweet but deep and it lasted for what felt like forever. It made Phil’s head spin, reminding him of their first kiss, just over a year ago. The kiss that had definitely made an impact on him but left so many questions too. At least now he knew the answer to most of those questions, except for… what it all meant for Dan.

Phil turned towards him and pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together. He smiled into the kiss when he felt Dan’s hard on pressing against his. “Already?” he murmured.

“It’s your fault for being so hot,” Dan said against his lips.

Phil felt one of Dan’s arms reach for something behind his back but didn’t think much about it until he felt Dan’s slick hand wrapped around both of their cocks. Phil hissed at the cold feeling which felt strangely nice mixed with the touch and the warmth coming from Dan’s gorgeous body. He let Dan do as he pleased as their bodies moved in tandem, their kiss turning into a symphony of gasps and moans, the pressure slowly building within Phil as his orgasm surged. He tilted his head, kissing Dan’s neck and feeling him twitch as he let out a high pitched moan.

“Yes!” Dan hissed, as he began to tremble, trying to keep some semblance of a rhythm as he approached his orgasm.

“So hot,” Phil mumbled and bit Dan’s neck, perhaps a bit too hard. 

“Fuck!” Dan moaned, his back arching as he came all over their chests, his hand going a bit lax until Phil wrapped his hand around Dan’s and both of their cocks and thrust into the fist. 

Dan’s over stimulated whines only added to the fire. With a few more thrusts, he joined Dan, coming even harder than before.

“Lester,” Dan panted, a smile on his lips. “You’re a demon.”

Phil laughed, trying to catch his breath. “Maybe I am.” He buried his face into the crook of Dan’s neck and hummed, falling asleep shortly after.

The following morning, Phil woke up first and crawled over Dan, pulling a pair of joggers and a hoodie on before going to the bathroom to rinse his body and brush his teeth. He wanted to make Dan breakfast but he needed to look presentable; well, that and nobody likes to walk around with dry come all over their body. He made a mental note to avoid falling asleep without cleaning up next time.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just a bit of fruit and cereal. He was almost done and about to carry the tray up when he decided to add toast and eggs to the menu. It was fairly late anyway.

He walked into the bedroom and stopped in his tracks. He was shocked to find Dan gone and was considering checking the bathroom when he felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and something hard pressing against his ass, causing him to nearly drop the tray to the ground. “Jesus!”

“It’s just Dan, but if you want to worship me I’m in.”

Phil laughed. “I’ll worship your mum,” he said, setting the tray on the bed.

“I was hoping to worship yours.” Dan wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Actually, shut up!” He nudged Dan’s chest gently.

“Alright, alright. I’ll worship this gorgeous ass,” he said with a hint of a question in his tone. 

Phil could tell that it was a joke but perhaps also a request. “I’m in if you want.”

“Really?” Dan squeaked, his eyes a bit wide.

“Yeah!” Phil said with a smile.

“Ok.” Dan let out a happy sigh and looked much more relaxed after Phil’s reassurance. 

They sat sideways on the bed, resting their backs against the wall and started eating breakfast. Time escaped them as they sat there for three hours without them even noticing, eating and chatting about life, especially everything that Dan had been stressing about - and kissing. In fact, they kissed so much that their lips were sore and puffy, and Phil was sure they would fall off at one point or another, but that didn’t happen. 

An incredible feeling of happiness and inner peace filled Phil in such a way that he couldn’t stop smiling. He had honestly never felt like this, like his heart was going to crawl out of his chest. He briefly wondered if Dan felt the same, but even if he did, he knew that Dan was never going to admit it, not yet anyway. So instead of asking that, he decided to go with a different question. “Did you have fun last night?” He asked, setting the tray on the floor and scooching closer.

Dan got really quiet for a moment but his smile never dropped. “You know I did.”

“You know what I mean. Like, in general. How did you feel?” Phil pressed a bit.

“It was… the best. I could do that every day,” Dan said, being serious for only a moment before he smirked and continued. “So you better keep up, Lester. I’m going to wear you out.”

“We’ll see,” Phil said, smiling and biting into Dan’s neck without a warning. The whine Dan let out was evidence enough that he had won.

They eventually rolled out of bed and showered separately, so that they could actually wash up properly and go to the cinema. He scrolled on Twitter while Dan finished straightening his hair and saw the tweet from the previous night. 

@danisnotonfire: All I can taste is cherry, all I can smell is cherry, all I can hear is cherry and all I can feel is cherry. Can’t really see much though.

Phil snorted and shook his head, giving it a like before shutting his computer. They were almost late to see Paranormal Activity at the cinema. 

---

They talked animatedly about the movie as they made their way back home through the snow. It had been a freaky experience but still super fun. Dan had clung to him the entire time even though Phil was just as scared, but it felt good anyway. 

Phil hesitated before opening the door, Dan was giving him such an adoring look that it made him almost want to kiss him right there, in the street, where his prying neighbours could definitely see them. Almost. He shook his head and unlocked the door, letting Dan walk in first and watched him turn around on the spot and give him a look that made Phil’s heart skip a beat.

They threw the wet outer layers to the floor right by the door and sprinted upstairs. 

Dan didn’t waste time taking over, undressing Phil and removing his own clothes swiftly. There was electricity in the air, but this felt different somehow. 

Dan was in his element, all confidence and poise. “Suck,” he said as he made Phil sit on the edge of the bed and stood before him, and Phil did. He wrapped his lips around Dan’s half hard cock and used his tongue to tease Dan until he’d had enough. Dan pulled his hair lightly and climbed over him without a word. This was a side of Dan that Phil had never seen, he was almost feral yet methodical. He kissed every inch of Phil’s body that he could reach as he prepped him, using perhaps too much lube and pointedly avoiding any contact with his cock, but when Phil finally asked him to get on with it, Dan hesitated. 

“Everything alright?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded, blush creeping into his cheeks as he pulled his fingers out. “Yes, I just - I want you to ride me. If that’s ok.” 

“Whatever you need, just ask,” Phil said, pressing a kiss to Dan’s lips and letting him settle in the middle of the narrow bed. He made sure that the condom was probably in place and added more lube for good measure before pressing the tip of Dan’s cock to his hole, slowly taking him in, letting out a happy sigh as he bottomed out. He set his hands on Dan’s chest and watched his face intently as he began to rock back and forward first, teasing him a bit, relishing in the smouldering look on Dan’s face. “How’s that?”

“Good,” Dan said, letting out a snort that soon turned into a moan when Phil rose and let himself fall once again. 

Phil smirked and repeated the motion a few times until he got used to the feeling and there was barely any resistance. Once he felt ready to really go for it, Phil shifted his weight forward, resting his hands on Dan’s shoulders and began to ride him in earnest. Watching Dan’s face and hearing him moan loudly was almost better than the feeling of having him inside, he could’ve almost come just from the view before him.

The bed was creaking under the pressure, the headboard slamming against the wall and Phil was in heaven. He’d found the perfect angle, stars bursting in his eyes as the sound of flesh against flesh filled the room.

“Ah! Ah! Phil!” Dan whined, holding onto Phil’s hips, trying to slow him down. 

Phil slapped his hands away, he knew that scrunched up face Dan was making. “Don’t you dare hold it!”

“But I can last a bit longer, I- fuck! I can, I swear!” Dan said, but Phil felt his cock getting even harder.

“Sex is made to be enjoyed, stop trying to hold it!” Phil said, picking up the pace, his thighs screaming at him and his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he was also coming too close to the edge. “Yes!” He hissed through his orgasm and leaned down to bite Dan’s neck.

Dan set his feet flat on the bed and thrust up into Phil twice’s stretched hole before coming deep inside of him.

“That’s it,” Phil smiled, his mind floating. He pecked Dan’s lips. “Good boy.” He felt Dan twitch inside of him at the praise but didn’t mention it.

Laughing, Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and kissed his forehead as he tried to catch his breath. “That was so good,” he said.

“Yeah,” Phil said breathlessly. “We should clean up before we fall asleep.”

Dan hummed and rolled his hips only a little bit, dragging his soft cock into Phil’s sensitive walls.

Phil clenched around him wordlessly and watched Dan flinch. That was enough to make Dan pull out and dispose of the condom.

They awkwardly shuffled to the bathroom for a quick shower that turned into round two between laughs and kisses.

After a much needed bedding change, they got into bed and cuddled up together, showing each other memes and funny videos. 

Phil decided to check Twitter where he saw yet another picture of Stephen and Charlie together. They didn’t even look happy, but it made his mood sour anyway. Then he got a notification from Dan that put a smile right back on his face.

@danisnotonfire: Uma Thurman just watched me have sex.

The fact that Dan added a picture of the Kill Bill poster that appeared in many of his videos made him a bit proud. Dan was not hiding him, even despite all the fans already shipping them together. 

---

December 16th 2010

On a whim, they decided that Dan would stay back for a few more days even after Phil’s parents returned. It was exciting to have Dan finally meet his family after mentioning him so much. It went better than expected: Dan was a charmer, Phil’s mum loved him right away and his dad was friendly as well, although he kept a close eye on them both for some reason. Maybe he could tell, Phil didn’t know if he cared at this point; Dan was important in his life and it was time for some people to know. 

What was there to know? Well, things between them had escalated a bit from how Phil usually did casual sex. There were random kisses in non sexual situations, hand holding, and - most importantly - Dan started to “claim him” publicly. It was not just about the tweets with pictures that were very clearly taken in his room in the middle of the night, or the sexual replies to his tweets. Charlie, for whatever reason, was still an annoyance in his life, trying to make it seem like there was something between him and Phil when he was still with Stephen. Maybe they were no longer together since Charlie had punched him - totally not cool - but the issue was that Charlie wanted to get in between he and Dan at all costs, and Dan had made it very clear that Phil was his, telling him to back off and he even replied under one of Phil’s tweets “I think I have a crush on you.”

It was still very confusing for Phil. Dan didn’t acknowledge any of these things in person even when they were sitting together at the time, but he was semi playing a boyfriend role in his life. For once, Phil tried not to let anxiety get the best of him and went along with whatever Dan wanted, except for filming, he had plans of his own in that regard.

It was a very ambitious project to say the least. “The Interactive Christmas Adventure” consisted of a main storyline with Dan and Phil’s mum as characters in a ‘choose your own adventure’ format and many easter egg type of videos that people could find by clicking in different annotations. He and Dan had an amazing time filming and editing most of it, but Phil was left alone to finish the mystery gifts his friends sent him when it finally came the time for Dan to leave.

Of course, once Dan was on his way back home and the video was posted, Phil proudly sat his family down to watch the final result only to have his dad get the mini video called “Dan and Phil sex tape” on the first try. It was just them goofing around, but it was still a very awkward moment. 

Thankfully, that didn’t ruin his parents’ impression of Dan. They really liked him and Phil couldn’t be happier about that. The fact that his dad had only laughed about it had blown Dan away. He’d told Phil that he wished he had a dad so cool.

[vlogbrothershistory]

January 06 in Vlogbrothers History

2010: 15 Hours in Target!

2015: AFC Wimbledon v. Liverpool: Thoughts from the Greatest Game on Earth

2017: Too Excited about Pears! (Question Tuesday with Hank)

2023: After 12 hours in LA I'm a stand-up comic doing ASMR with a side gig as a music promoter

[thekingofgear]

Hi! I want to get closer to Radiohead sound. I have a 50's Stratocaster with SD SSL pickups. Is it really necessary to change pickups to Lace Sensors (Blue, Silver, Red)? Also can you suggest kinda universal amp (I don't care if it's gonna be SS or Tube) and most important pedals to get almost every RH tone?

I understand why you want an easy answer. But you're asking about the sound of three guitarists, each with a totally distinctive playing style, over the course of three decades. On our site you can find hundreds of pieces of gear, some used by one member of the band on only a single studio recording, and replicated live with different gear. If anything gives Radiohead a "sound", it's their approach to songwriting and arrangement. Or to be flippant: it's modal mixture, especially the shift between major and minor, plus some sliding delay effects.

I can't give you advice unless you listen to the band and decide what you like. To start, decide if you prefer Ed's atmospheric style, Thom's rhythmic style, or Jonny's melodic style. Then look through the artist pages (in the sidebar of our site), and search for the songs with your favorite sounds. You can also find detailed pedalboards for every era, if you prefer to search by album. You should also check the "advice tab" in our sidebar — our post on modifying guitars for Lace Sensors directly answers your pickups question.

As for "necessary", that depends on you and your goals. You can play Radiohead's guitar parts on any traditional electric guitar (though like Radiohead, you might need a pitch-shifter for a few extra high notes). They don't use 8-string guitars with extra frets or anything like that.

Do you want to look like the band? Do you want to get the sound of a specific era, or a specific song? Do you want an instrument that's versatile enough to cover a wide range of sounds for live shows? You can buy an early-1990s Telecaster Plus V1, but you have to learn how to fit your sound with the rest of a band. Jonny did that just fine when he swapped his Tele Plus for his Les Paul Standard at Radiohead's Haiti Benefit show. Radiohead are big enough to have have the luxury of touring with a bunch of amps and guitars, but they're quite capable of getting similar sounds with less gear.

And to be clear, nobody in Radiohead has used the Lace Sensor “Blue, Silver, Red” Strat set. Jonny’s 90s Telecaster Plus V1 has its original Lace Blue and Lace Dually Red pickups, while Ed often plays 90s Eric Clapton Signature Strats with Lace Gold pickups. The Blue and Red pickups are humbucker voiced, while the Gold are single coil voiced. That should give you an idea of their respective preferences.

A photo of Jonny during Radiohead's Haiti Benefit gig on January 24, 2010. Performed while the band was recording in LA for The King of Limbs, Jonny didn't have his Tele Plus or his Eighty-Five. So he instead used his Les Paul and a Vox AC30 for many older songs.

[daily-rayless]

15 years of Revya

Next on my tour of appreciating favorite characters, it's Revya from Soul Nomad and the World Eaters.

Specifically the female version.

February 2008

I started playing SN in early 2008, February, I think. If this isn't my first Revya, it's one of the earliest, and it's still one of my favorites. I see Revya as a very strong but very quiet, even passive person. She often lets people walk all over her – Danette, Virtuous, and then Gig – and she puts up with it because she knows someone's going to have to be the hero and take care of things. She doesn't much want to be that hero, but she takes the responsibility. And this sketch catches her during a quick break, tired but sword still in hand.

May 2008

Soul Nomad just delighted me. It's weird and goofy in that familiar Nippon Ichi way, but also darker and more complex than Disgaea or Phantom Brave. I played it many times over the next few years, most often on the normal route, getting different secret characters and endings, but also enjoying all the sinister swerves of the Demon Path.

June 2008

I also wrote a lot of SN fanfic, most of it centered on Revya. Writing and drawing are both excellent ways to figure out a character.

September 2009

Silent protagonists cut both ways. On one hand, they’re basic and boring. On the other, they give you a lot of freedom as a writer and fanartist.

August 2010

And Revya gives you some fun to work with. Through her different dialogue options, you can see someone who's brave and good-hearted, but often extremely unimpressed by all the bombastic personalities around her.

April 2011

The fact that, aside from a few situational changes, she's written identically to the male protagonist means she avoids a lot of stereotypical female anime character tropes.

March 2012

Actually, the game goes a little too far in that direction, and there are some dialogue choices that just assume of course you're playing as male Revya. But on the other hand female Revya is the version that appears in Disgaea 3. And I think in general the American fandom prefers her.

June 2012

She has a very cute design with her big red eyes and ahoge, but it's also shaggy, mismatched, rough – she looks like a scruffy, seasoned warrior, not a shining knight or an elegant sorceress or even a typical young anime girl about to start her life.

February 2013

And to go back to her character, while I see her as fairly calm, uncomplaining, carrying others' quests and burdens, I think when it comes down to it, she holds her own line.

January 2015 (pictured with Hakuno from Fate and Minako from Persona, two other female protagonists with weird relationships with people who talk into their brains)

She's not going to let an evil death god hijack her body. She's not going to back down from towering four-story monsters. She may save it for special occasions, but she's not scared to assert herself. And when she and the evil death god do get on the same page and actually support each other, they're magnificently powerful.

March 2020

The Demon Path shows us just how far she's willing to take her own power. And even there, she doesn't entirely lose her humanity, even in the final battles. Though once she makes the darkest choice possible, perhaps it's too late for even her to come back.

July 2020

I haven't gone over the numbers, but I feel like in general there are fewer female protagonists in JRPGs nowadays, even merely as female options. Or maybe it's that the ones that do exist are for smaller games and feel less visible. Companies seem less risk-taking in that regard. And while the gender of the protagonist has never determined whether or not I like a game, seeing a girl at the forefront does make a difference to me.

February 2023

I still think Revya's a good protagonist, default silence notwithstanding. She doesn't talk much, but I still love talking about her.

(my character appreciation tag)

[suspicioushospitality]

TIMELINE - SYD RIPLEY

Below is an in-depth timeline of Syd Ripley's life from birth (April 30, 1992) until now (beginning of August 2023).

Please be aware of trigger warnings under the cut.

TW // Transphobia, Crime, Drugs

BORN: April 30, 1992

Born in New Jersey to Carlos and Alice Jiminez. Assigned female at birth. (older brother Maverick Jiminez born 1990)

Played in little-league soccer teams and loved participating in team sports as a kid.

2007 - Made it onto his high school field hockey team, but was often made fun of for being a 'tomboy'.

February 2008 - Syd realizes he's trans, and comes out to a very close friend from English class.

August 2008 - Comes out to his parents. They refuse to understand it and encourage him not to go talking about it to people.

September 2008 - Junior year, Syd's grades suffer. He begins to come out to other friends and even trusted teachers at school.

Syd lives what feels like a double life, being comfortably Syd at school (with some teasing and bullying that he handles with his fists usually) and coming home to a family who refuse to acknowledge his new name and pronouns.

May 2010 - Syd graduates from high school and immediately packs up his old car and leaves home. He moves to NYC where some cousins lived, to start a new life. He lives out of his car until he finds a roommate. Changes his last name to 'Ripley'.

Early 2012 - Syd begins freelance camboy work to help pay bills.

2014 - Syd drives back home to see if his parents have had a change of heart. They haven't. The meeting is bittersweet and Syd goes back to NYC.

June 2018 - In and out of jobs, Syd begins a new job as a server at a seedy diner. He ends up sleeping with a customer (a Cartel member) who hires him as extra muscle for a 'gig'. No questions asked, $300 to carry some stuff. Less than an hour's work. He takes it. He starts taking other muscle jobs from them after this.

September 2018 - Syd starts testosterone!

January 2019 - Syd gets fired from his diner job after punching out a customer for being gross. The Cartel hires him to help run the laundromat.

March 2020 - Syd gets top surgery!

November 2021 - Syd tries fighting in The Arène. He does well, but is unsettled by it (mostly the wealthy men screaming and jeering around him). But he's paid handsomely.

Early 2022 - Syd goes back to fight in The Arène. This time he's beaten, and suffers pretty bad injuries. While nursing his wounds out in an alleyway, he meets someone who takes him home & takes care of him (WC).

Current - Syd still works at the laundromat, debates going back to The Arène, and continues doing muscle work for the Cartel.