#lundy you need to cool it a bit

[exoticalmonde]

LUNDInium Outskirts /Part VIII/

Starting off strong today with Dr. Kryo's growing potential in digital art. This is all of us on a dinner date, so left from the depressed looking Mlynar we have Dr. Lundi, Hoederer, Dr. Eve, Surtr, Dr. Kryo.

Per usual, Mlynar is considering the loss of Lundi's gargantuan ice cream. I'm never shutting up, and Surtr is probably baffled at how much food this bottomless pit called a Draco can fit.

Based on this:

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Even though this isn't a doodle per se, it's incredibly funny for us since Dr. Kryo is very popular for the snack drawer, Dr. Lundi has a chips drawer, Dr. Pinkie owns the fish buffet and I, your host, Dr. Eve have everything your Slavic grandmother has in that one snack cupboard in the living room/kitchen.

Here, have at theе,

WAIT, I have not shown you all the rooms that all of our Doctors decided to put together, have I???

Let's take you on a little tour, my darling readers.

We can start off with Dr. Kryo's Office

Dr. Kryo, you're still here? Hard-working I see. Do you have anything to add about your choice of decor? I'm going to go to Lundi's ship after this.

Dr. Kryo: "My office? Well first off the interior design is Siracusa based cuz ya know, love the style they got goin' on there. Starting from my desk I suppose, nothin' too crazy about, just any old office desk, same with the chair. That cabinet and notice board I had from how this place previously looked at one point and thought them too handy to get rid of so I decided to keep 'em there."

"That sign with the mountains was a gift and I didn't really have anywhere to put it so here it lies in my office. The armchair, couch and side table were recommendations for the interior design and I rocked with it so here it is. So was the coffee table in the middle. That skull ornament was also a gift to me and hell, it looked really cool so I needed to have it in here."

"Now that fridge and cabinet? Those are possibly the most important things in this room. Those are the refreshments that keep me and some of my operators going when needed. Those 2 will never leave this room. Especially the fridge or else a certain redhead will get mad at me."

And the Bedroom with all the comforts one can desire, I see.

Dr. Kryo: "My room...

Now, in here is actually rather simple compared to my office. To be honest, the most grandiose thing about this room is the view you get, but other than that it's your sorta standard room. Normal bed, couch, nightstand, coffee table, TV. I forgot where I got that cabinet from but it's there. Those 2 baskets have snacks in them. Judging how I sang the fridge and cabinet's praises in my office, you know the importance of these."

---

Now, we're going to Dr. Lundi's Office.

Don't uh-- Don't be intimidated by the operators you see in there, okay? I know they're all sad, frowning middle-aged men, but it's okay, hold my hand. They're pretty nice fellows. And Sesa.

Oh, Dr. Lundi, I was just showing people your Office. Would you like to tell us a little bit more about it?

Dr. Lundi: "We pretend that's Mlynars messenger bag for when he goes out wandering obscurely. Shelf of Dr Lundi's favourite music albums. She cares for them deeply. The fridge is full of energy drinks and Mountain Dew. There is a corner dedicated to building guns. Sesa is usually found here. Dr. Lundi does NOT care if what he is doing is technically illegal. In fact, she encourages it, as a Sankta." (He likes to build guns and is canonically trying to make them shoot more than once, which is currently not possible for non-Sanktas to do with patron firearms. It is elaborated in his module if you're curious.) "Gun collection. to the left. Dr Lundi has 1 main rifle and a back-up rifle. (AX50 main, VSS Vintorez backup, if you want names.) Box of ammunition under her office table as well as on every single available shelf. Haphazardly tapes papers onto the wall cause she always puts off getting a proper corkboard for the wall. Files scattered everywhere. Some are probably important. Mlynar has stopped trying to fix this behaviour. Little ottoman with a blanket for long nights. Posters for decor rather than pictures. I know the guitar is… a guitar... But please pretend it's a bass, picked up in Siesta at some point. It was a great pain to bring home safely. Plants that require the BARE minimum of care. She asked Flamebringer for assistance when choosing."

What about your bedroom?

Dr. Lundi: "Bedroom???????????"

Dr. Lundi: "Bar. Cause that's what she does. Mlynar hates it as a non-drinker. She makes alcohol-free stuff for him, of course. Posters, banners and plaques. Reminds her of Laterano."

"Her bed is a bunk, because of space distribution. She sleeps on the top bunk so Mlynar can use the laptop placed on it whenever he has to work." (There is a laptop on this bunkbed, I promise.)

"Every morning (or rather, when she wakes up, which could be at any time), she plays the shooty arcade game, which Executor obviously helped install, as the walking supercomputer and tech-wiz.

Ah, how refreshing to be in the company of such different people. I love looking at places where people live because you get to see how they live. You can see the Siracusa-inspired vibe and the Laterano-born desire to always have Emperor somewhere.

---

We haven't spoken about this yet, but Dr. Pinkie's RI 00 is, after all, the first to ever be built. Naturally, they'd have all the necessary parts to make the most of it, so I think just showing all of it in one post won't be enough.

For now, I'll feature all of our pride and joy - the bunny room.

---

Last, but not least, we have my room...

I'll be honest I don't know if it's as cool as other people's but I really like it as my own. A quiet little corner do to paperwork in and probably nap for 4 hours every day.

I got the bookshelves installed in the wall to make space for everything else and then filled it with all my Yan slash and Ursus historical romance novels. Kal'tsit doesn't approve, I'll tell you that. When we went shopping for curtains Hoederer said these looked familiar, so we went along with his instinct. The sunsets are always so beautiful to watch from here.

I love this chair because Operator Lumen recommended it. He's always on my back for having a weird posture and I sit for way too long, so this was bought with me (him) in mind. The couch and coffee table are free to use. Many of the children come crash at the office after school, so I keep some blankets around for them.

Istina, Robin, Absinthe, and even Odda started showing up recently. I know many of them aren't kids in the literal sense, but at some point, we all start missing sleeping after lunch.

The wall decoration? Some Operators have a condition caused by Originium that has us shed our horns every couple of years. It's been only with Elafia. Those there are my first shed after I woke up. I'm sorry if it's a little strange.

Nothing else to be noted... I like keeping some fresh lilies in the office, they kind of started happening after Hortus De Escapismo and I guess everybody went along with it. Courrier comes once in a while with letters from people and at one point it became such a mess! We had a Kjerag letter holder imported and installed.

My bedroom has a lot going on.

We sleep together with Hoederer here but he isn't at all surprised to see that there's a mix of Yan/Higashi and Laterano in here. I like the light and the view is spectacular early in the morning. I'm somehow very lucky to always have the sunrise in my bedroom and dusk in my office. Whether I get to see them is a different story, of course.

We also often work here too, Hoederer shows all sorts of historical texts and I bother him with the things I'm writing in exchange. I've got a book nook and our bed was a small expensive indulgence of mine.

I'm made fun of a lot for it.

After Ebenholz and Lessing came back from Leithanien together, he asked me to keep Kreide's cello safe, so I do. I can't play it, but we make sure there's never a speck of dust on that case.

Chongyue has expressed concern about how many mementoes of people I keep, but instead of thinking of my own bedroom as a graveyard of my affection, I like to see it as budding hope. These purple flowers, the cello, and the Sami books, all survived. Somebody might want them in the future, I have no problem of parting with them if it's for the aid of others.

---

IN BETTER NEWS, WE'RE BACK WITH THE DOODLES

We always have all sorts of inspiration shooting left and right, it's up to the mood whether they come to fruition. Like how this did...

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I actually just randomly prompted this, because I wanted Boothill and Mlynar to interact. You know, the horse and the cowboy...

I saw it in a vision.

---

---

BEST OF ALL TODAY!!!

We are all getting chibis!!!

You'd finally get to see what the Doctors look like in HD. Words I will immediately follow with this picture of the concept.

I think it's very important to see the development in it since we all sat there for HOURS watching Lundi's stream as she turned a white space into the personification of what we all have always wanted to be:

An actual team.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I look up and see miracles happening on screen too.

As a refresher (or for anybody who just doesn't know) so far this team of rats consists of an Aegir - Pinkie; A Sankta - Lundi; A Draco - Kryo; and a Chimera (Pantheon) - Eve.

So very soon after, it was all coming so well together. We couldn't possibly wait to have it finished.

We immediately had to make memes.

Which you will see in the next post because we somehow already reached the 30-image limit on the website. STAY TUNED! <3

[canmom]

l'aventure de canmom à annecy épisode DEUX - lundi partie 2

I ate a late "breakfast" at a cute little french café and made contact with @mendely (shout out to mendely btw, super talented animator) who said he was watching L'Armée des Romantiques*, which sounded pretty fun so I decided to give it a shot!

(*or to give it its clunky English title, Legends of Paris: A Tale of the 19th Century)

This turned out to be a documentary with a limited animation portrayal of a bunch of the artists, writers and composers active in the early 19th Century, framed through the conflict between Romanticism and Classicism. We meet characters like Alexandre Dumas and Victor Hugo as young up-and-comers trying to make a name for themselves in a France still bubbling with republican sentiment. We watch as these new Romantics are moved to tears by Shakespeare, and write a series of hit plays and novels, with the July Revolution providing some much needed spice in the middle.

It was pretty interesting history, though Mendely tells me they left out some of the spicier anecdotes about his favourite composers. On a presentation level, it does interesting things with paint textures in Revelle for all the BGs, and it was definitely at its strongest when the subject was a painting or symphony where it could actually show us what the big deal was rather than just showing reaction shots. As drama, it was a bit lacking in tension - each of these guys was pretty much guaranteed to cause a stir or they wouldn't feature in this documentary - but it was cool to learn a bit about some artists from this period I know less about, and learn something of the history behind works like Liberty Leading the People. (You know, the one with the titty.)

The next act for me was the world premiere(!) of the film version of Flavours of Iraq, adapting the life of Iraqi-French journalist Feurat Alani. This film was a treat, honestly. The framing device is his father Amir's funeral, and the film cuts between Feurat's life, returning to Iraq after growing up in France, and his communist father's life of political exile after a childhood in Fallujah, later increasingly despairing at the state of his country. Which is a hell of a lot of history to cover in one film, but it handles it very well, a compelling flow of events and reactions in the present unified by Feurat's personal story.

The film has broadly a left wing secularist bent, with little sympathy towards Saddam (seen from a child's eyes as a towering cyclops responsible for Amir's torture and exile), the Americans who cause the country's collapse as they hollow out the state to purge all influence of Saddam, or the Islamists of Al Qaeda and Daesh who flourish in their wake; a little more sympathy goes to the tribal judge who increasingly sides with them after being tasked with counterinsurgency by the Americans, but most of all, the film sympathises with the people low on the hierarchy tossed between all these geopolitical forces. The anchor in personal experiences of Feurat and his extended family avoids it simply becoming a polemic and gives the film a lot of emotional substance. Great soundtrack and stylish animation, later intercut with news footage, do a lot as well - this is edited tight.

Comparison with Persepolis is inevitable - both films use a similar limited colour palette, both films try to flesh out from personal experience a country viewed with ignorance in the west, both first saw publication as a BD before becoming a movie. The thrust of the films is a little different, if only because Iran is in a lot better shape than Iraq - this film is very much a tragedy, and its plea for an Iraq that is not divided by religion or tribe is coloured by the hopelessness of Amir, who unlike his son gives up on his country and applies for French citizenship after his childhood friend is shot as a suspected collaborator. Feurat, too, is haunted by ghosts, such as his cameraman friend Yasser who is killed while interviewing members of Daesh. It is, all in all, quite an overwhelming watch.

Unlike Persepolis, this film's director, also the author of the comic, is not writing autobiographically; apparently the real Feurat wrote about his life on Twitter which was adapted first as a comic and TV series then finally as this film with the funding of various European TV stations and art organisations. It's hard to know how much the real story has been abridged or simplified to make a more compelling narrative. But that's the way of these things, and it certainly felt far more grounded than the likes of The Breadwinner.

The style was also interesting - the flat graphical colours emphasising the eyes, but also moustaches, lips and teeth. The characters are often coloured red against a more desaturated field. For the most part, actual proportions and acting are naturalistic but often it will morph into fantastical symbolic imagery of dogheaded soldiers or a creeping centipede as a rather heavy handed symbol of islamism.

I'm curious how this would be received by Iraqi audiences because tbh it does kinda feel like it's written for westerners but so it goes.

All in all... big dose of history this afternoon, but compelling shit. Next up I'm trying to get into The Birth of Kitaro... no idea if this is going to be lighter, but at least it will be a bit more fantastical. Nevermind, Kitaro is full, going for TV films 5 lmao

[scottybrock]

Masterlist

Traphouse Boys/Girls

Colby Brock:

The Best Gosh Dang Thing (fluff)

Cheating Prank Gone Wrong (a little angst, mostly fluff)

Jealousy, Still Gets The Best Of Me (little angsty, then fluffy, then kinda smutty)

Hickies (fluffy and kinda smutty)

Bikinis & Boys (fluff)

Breakdown, Get Back Up (angst, mostly. then a touch of fluff)

Legs (fluff and kinda smutty)

Sick & Sweet (super fluffy)

Baby Blues (fluff, hinted smut but not really)

Cups and Kisses (very little angst, mostly fluff)

And The Wall Won (fluff)

To The Window, To The Walls (fluff)

Saying ‘Yes’ To My Best Friend For 24 Hours (Shocking) (pure fluff)

Pizza Night (fluff)

Dirty Little Secret (fluff)

What Best Friends Are For (angst)

London Bridge (fluff)

Baby Bump (pure fluff)

This Is Inappropriate (hinted smut, mostly crackhead humor, aka my humor)

24 Hour Handcuff Challenge With My Girlfriend! (fluff)

Bumps & Bruises (fluff)

Jokes On You (angst, then fluff)

Clingy (fluff)

Rockabye Baby (fluff)

Tattoos (fluff)

Colby Giving You Hickies Would Include...

What Best Friends Are For Part Two (angst, then fluff)

Cherry Kisses (fluff)

College Daze (the teeniest bit of angst, then fluff)

Killing Boyfriend Prank (angst)

Doggy Days (fluff)

Colby Brock’s Girlfriend: EXPOSED (fluff)

Watch Where You’re Going (fluff)

Oh My God (implied smut, mostly just making out and grinding)

Yee Haw (fluff)

Happiest Place On Earth (fluff)

Edward Cullen Who? (fluff)

Plus One (fluff)

Only You (fluff)

Cuddly Koala (fluff) 

Bring Your Boyfriend To Work Day (fluff)

Just Say I Do (angst, then fluff)

Boyfriends & Booze (fluff)

Yeah, We’re Having A Party (fluff)

Amnesia (angst)

How To Treat Your Girl (fluff)

Lean On Me (angst, then fluff)

Maybe (angst, then fluff)

Cliff’s Edge (angst, then fluff)

Sunny Days & Picnics (fluff)

Lollipops & Kitchen Counters (fluff and implied smut)

Mama’s Boy (angst, then fluff)

Innocent (implied smut)

Expecting (fluff)

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts (fluff)

Rude (a little angst, then fluff)

Words Hurt, But Friends Help (little angst, then fluff)

Wouldn’t Change A Thing (a little angst, then major fluff)

Silent Treatment (angst, then fluff)

Bean (fluff)

Crush (fluff)

Not Your Fault (angst, then the teeniest bit of fluff)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow (mostly angst, then the teeniest bit of fluff)

Vampires & Vacuums (fluff)

Handsy (fluff)

First Word (fluff)

Jump Scare (fluff)

Dead Ass (fluff)

Trick or Treat (fluff)

First Steps (fluff)

Jumped (angst, then a teeny bit of fluff)

Panic! At the Pizza Night (teeny bit of angst, then fluff)

Girls, Girls, Girls (fluff and my crackhead humor)

Chug (fluff/crackhead humor)

Cake (fluff)

Karate Chops & Kisses (fluff)

Not Today (fluff)

Breakfast in Bed (fluff)

Happy Family (fluff)

Morning Cuddles (fluff)

Baby’s Gotta Eat (fluff)

Painted (fluff)

Vlog Squad is Shook (fluff and my crackhead humor)

Good Enough (little angst, lots of fluff)

Double Trouble (little angst, lots of fluff)

Grilled Cheese (tooth rotting fluff)

Piercings (fluff)

What Really Matters (angst, then fluff)

Koalas & Elephants (fluff)

About Time (implied smut, kinda fluffy at the end)

Dark Days (angst, teeny bit of fluff)

I Think I Wanna Marry You (fluff)

Crazy (fluff)

Sweatshirt (fluff)

Tongue (fluff)

So Damn Much (fluff)

Boyfriend (fluff)

Didn’t Mean It (angst, then fluff)

Wedding Cake (fluff)

Fanfic (fluff?? and my crackhead humor)

Pterodactyl (fluff?? and my crackhead humor)

Sir, This is a Wendy’s! (literally just my crackhead humor)

Breakup Prank (fluff)

Bad At Love (teeeeeny bit of angst, mostly fluff)

Coconut Oil (fluff)

We Need To Talk (fluff)

Glasses (fluff)

My Songbird (angst, then fluff)

Time to Swan Dive (fluff)

Cuddle Bug (fluff)

Wallpaper (fluff)

Fight Or Flight (fluff)

Dora the Explorer (fluff)

I Love You (fluff)

Car Radio (fluff)

Back Rubs (fluff)

Let’s Bang (fluff)

In The Morning (fluff)

Characters (fluff)

Superman (little angst, then fluff)

Warm Me Up (fluff)

Hero (mostly fluff)

Number One Fan (fluff)

Love You Like Me (fluff)

THAT Florida Trip (lil angst, then fluff)

Parkour (fluff & my crackhead humor)

Tell Me That You Love Me (angst, then fluff)

Colby’s Room (fluff)

It’s A Date (angst then fluff)

Koala Boi (fluff)

Welcome To Chili’s (very little angst, then fluff)

Baby Brock (fluff)

Compilation Complications (fluff)

Sleeping Beauty (fluff)

Staying In My Girlfriend’s Apartment Overnight (fluff)

All Mine (fluff)

The One That Got Away (angst, then fluff)

Butter Sock (fluff & my crackhead humor)

Cartwheels (fluff)

Not Interested (fluff)

Celebrity Crush (fluff)

Meet & Greet (fluff)

Soarin’, Flyin’ (fluff)

Chubby Bunny (fluff)

Tiny Dancer (fluff)

Boom, Roasted (fluff)

VIB: Very Important Boyfriend (fluff)

Bi Bi Bi (teeny angst, lotsa fluff)

Kitty Cat (fluff)

Promise Ring (fluff)

Spongebob (fluff)

Target (fluff)

Faking Death (fluff)

Go (full on angst. Seriously, there’s no happy ending.)

Diss Track (just my crackhead humor)

Happy Ending (angst, just angst.)

If I Stay (angst)

Not Like Him (angst, then kind of fluff??)

One Punch (just my crackhead humor)

Reading Fanfic With My Girlfriend *GONE WRONG* (fluff and my humor lmao)

Bump ‘N Grind (fluff)

Bet (angst)

Stretch Marks (angst and fluff)

Mistletoe (fluff)

Santa Baby (fluff)

Bad Day (fluffy fluff)

Arzaylea Who? (fluff?)

Pranking My Boyfriend (Gone Wrong) (lil angst, lil fluff)

Some Day (fluff)

Truth or Dare (fluff)

Movie Night (fluff)

Cinnamon Bun (fluff)

A Misunderstanding (fluff)

Pamper Night (tooth-rotting fluff)

The Best Of The Best (little angst, then fluff)

Someone Like You (fluff)

Ignoring My Boyfriend For 24 Hours! *GONE WRONG* (lil angst, mostly fluff)

Good Morning (fluff & my humor)

Hibernation (fluff)

Like Your Mama (fluff)

Warrior (little angst, then fluff)

Worth Waiting For (little angst, then fluff)

Baby Names (fluff)

Don’t Dream It’s Over (angst and fluff)

Santa Says (fluff and my crackhead humor)

Naughty Or Nice? (fluff and my crackhead humor)

Feels Like The Very First Christmas (fluff)

My Chemical Romance (fluff)

Oopsie (fluff)

Ravioli Ravioli, Give Me The Formuoli (lil angst, mostly fluff)

Birthday Boy (angst then tooth-rotting fluff)

Happy, Happy, Happy (fluff and implied smut)

Dad Knows Best (fluff)

Wedding Bells (fluff)

So Much It Hurts (fluff)

Meta Life (fluff)

Be Quiet (angst, then fluff)

Done (fluff)

Five Fingas To The Face (fluff)

Surprise! (angst then fluffy fluff)

Blame It On The Alcohol (angst, then fluff)

Mom & Dad (fluff)

Be Mine (fluff)

Merch War (angst, then fluff)

Petty & Pettier (drama & fluff)

Gender Reveal (fluff)

Thumbs Up (fluff)

Right Here (lil angst, then fluff)

Lesson Learned (angst, then fluff)

Without Trust (angst)

Pinky Promise (lil angst, then fluff)

Absolutely (fluff)

Hide ‘N Seek (fluff)

Best Friend’s Son (fluff)

Soulmates (fluff?)

Quarantine For Two (fluff)

Jake Webber:

Kiss Me Thru The Phone (fluff)

Be Careful (little angst, then fluffy fluff)

Baby Webber (fluff)

Style Swap (fluff)

Teeny Tiny (little angst, then fluffy fluff)

Slow Hands (fluff)

The Goat (fluff and my crackhead humor)

We Got ‘Em (my crackhead humor)

My Fault (angst and fluff)

Serious (lil bit of angst, then fluff)

Panties (fluff)

Breakups According To Keem (fluff)

Throwing Hands (fluff)

Katrina Stuart:

Greedy (fluff)

Puppy Love (fluff)

Coming Out (lil angst, mostly fluff)

Forever (barely there angst, then fluff)

Tara Yummy:

Deal (fluff)

I Choose You (fluff)

Cool (lil angst, mostly fluff)

Girlfriend (fluff)

Jealous (lil angst, mostly fluff)

You’re The One That I Want (angst, then fluff)

Mike:

Brown-Eyed Boy (fluff)

Song To You (fluff)

Make You Mine (slight angst, then fluff)

Devyn Lundy: 

Breakups & Oreos (angst and fluff)

Sam Golbach: 

God Dang It (fluff)

Drunk In Love (fluff)

Beach Babe (fluff)

Wedding Bells (fluff)

Aaron Doh:

Soup, Tears, and Love (lil angst, then fluffy)

Friendship (everyone):

You Were You (angst & fluff)

Kung-Fu Fighting (fluff)

Vlog Squad boys/girls:

David Dobrik: 

S-E-X Babey! (fluff)

Officially Official (fluff)

Meeting The Parents (lil angst, mostly fluff)

Wakeup Call (fluff)

Good Boy (fluff & implied smut)

Miscellaneous:

Jade West: 

Pretty (fluff)

Top Or Bottom (fluff)

Baby Vega (fluff)

Good (fluff)

SERIES:

Getting My Best Friend to Fall In Love With Me (Colby Brock)

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5 

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Day 15

Day 16

Day 17

Day 18

Day 19

Day 20

Day 21

Day 22

Day 23

Day 24

Day 25

Day 26

Day 27

Day 28

Day 29

Day 30

Neighbors (Colby Brock)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 10 (alternate ending)

[nancyskam]

Lundi 21:18 translations

(First, we can see that Arthur lives in a reallyyy expensive area.)

(Arthur on his computer : he’s looking at a university in Paris for medicine.)

His mum : It reminds me when I had to choose my uni.

Arthur (making fun on her and her age, doing like a “documentary” voice) : It was in the year 1821, winter was fresh. By the way mum, haven’t you never regretted ? I mean, having stopped your studies in medicine ?

His mum : No. I mean... No.

Arthur : Really ?

His mum : No. Your dad was one year older. He already had so much ambition... And I got pregnant. Someone had to bring money home and the other one had to take care of you.

Arthur : Ah ok, so it’s clearly my fault that you’re a medical secretary. (He said it with a bit of humor.)

His mum : No it’s not your fault. I love my job, I love my life. I have a husband, a beautiful flat, a son who is a bit condescending but that I love more than everything. I get everything I need.

Arthur : Sorry, it was a stupid joke...

His mum : Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. I still love you.

His mum to his dad : You come back home late !

His dad : Heavy day. I would give everything to have the same schedules than you (than Arthur and his mum). How are you my son ?

Arthur : Good and you ?

His dad : Hmm hmm (yes).

His dad : The Christmas decorations... Didn’t you remove it ?

His mum : No, I didn’t have time.

His dad : And you ? You haven’t chosen yet ? (About the uni)

Arthur : Sorry ?

His dad : You haven’t chosen yet ?

Arthur : Not really. But you know, we don’t choose. We give an order of preferences and it’s them who give the affectation (the uni). It’s random.

His dad : Really ? This is so complicated. Between this (really hard to understand because of Arthur’s hearing) and the PACES reform with the end of the numerus clausus, you really get the feeling that any fool can be a doctor. (Recently in France, there’s a new reform about the medicine studies. It was reallyyy hard to enter in a medicine uni. Now it’s gonna be a bit less difficult.) (Normal sound back.) Anyway... About the surgery, there’s no need to hesitate. I know them, at Descartes (Descartes is a great uni in Paris where you can study medicine). I will give them a call, ok ?

Arthur : Cool.

His dad : Dinner ?

His mum : Hmm (yes).

[idonthaveanydamnidea]

monday second clip's translation (25/03)

LUNDI 13h12 : VIS TA VIE

Mika : Medical center for gays, bis, asexuals and sentimental refugees, hi, what can I do for you?

Lucas : What's up?

Mika : What, not even a laugh? I've been preparing that since this morning! Asexual is for Lisa, I mean i don't know if she's asexual but have you ever seen her hooking up with someone?

Lucas : Mika, seriously.

Mika : Come on, it's fine. Well, what do you want?

Lucas : How is he?

Mika : Who? Ah, Eliott!

Lucas : Mika, seriously, you're being annoying.

Mika : Come on, i'm kidding kitten. I don't know, he's fine.

Lucas : And?

Mika : And what? I don't know, that's all. He peed. His urine analysis are good. After that he ate a slice of bread. No significant loss of appetite, and now he's sleeping. Nothing to declare.

Lucas : Thanks. You're watching over him, uh? I mean not to close, I know you. But still, watch over him anyway. And if there's anything you know you can call me.

Mika : Yes sir, your number is in my emergency contacts. Wait, but it's completely a true calling! I could have become...

Yann : You know, I find her cute, that little one, dude.

Basile/Arthur? : She's not ugly.

Basile : Oh! So?

Yann : How is he?

Lucas : Good. Well, I think so.

Yann : Cool! That's good!

Arthur : Are you... are you not eating something?

Lucas : No,  i'm not hungry.

Arthur : You have to eat, dude.

Lucas : I should be with him right now.

Basile : Dude you have to relax, nothing is going to happen to your boyfriend.

Lucas : Hey, I'm worrying that's just normal

Basile : For real, no! You can't keep on worrying like that all the time. You have to relax! Imagine only one second, ok?  If he's the man of your life.

Arthur : Bingo!

Basile : Do you see yourself spending all your life like that?

Lucas : Okay. So what do I do? I stay here and pretend everything is good, is that it?

Basile : Yeah, yeah! Eliott is a grown up boy. He knows how to handle himself. And if he needs your help he'll know how to tell you.

Lucas : So basically, right now, there is nothing I can do.

Basile : Yes, yes! You live your life as usual, like before! You eat, first of all, you go out with us, you have some drinks, you get drunk... You go home and watch some porn... You.. Wait, so you must watch gay porn?

Arthur : Oh yeah that's true!

Yann : No but wait, I don't know shit about that but it's a bit of a special situation isn't it?

Basile : Yeah, right, but you have to know how to trust people. With my mom, I'm not always behind her asking her if she's okay, knowing if she needs-

Arthur : But the relationship you have with your mom isn't the same thing as-

Basile : Okay, right. With bipolar people, when they're going through an episode they're in their episode. Then when they're coming down they're coming down. And it's a return to the norm, you talk with them, you joke about it even, I mean... Same for Eliott. You just have to wait for him to come back to the surface.

Arthur : Actually you're like, much more knowledgeable about bipolar people than girls!

Yann : No joke.

Arthur : You would need, you know, a girl more or less bipolar-

Daphné : Hi guys! I just wanted to tell you that on wednesday we're organizing a sit in for the foyer, to stand up for it.

Basile : Oh totally, we'll be here on wednesday yeah.

Lucas : Yeah!

Arthur : Okay, it works for us.

Yann : Okay.

Basile : And uh, if the headmaster doesn't want to listen to you he will have to go over my body.

Daphné : Okay. Thanks Basile. So, see you on wednesday.

Boys : See you!

Arthur : So, don't get too excited, really don't, but I think you just nailed it.

Yann : Big plus here.

Arthur : Have you seen the smile? That big. "Thanks Basile!"

[vexedtonightmares]

last dance (elu ballet au) chapter cinq

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.  

i. ii. iii. iv. v.

ao3

Lundi 7:00

“Lucas? Lucas? You need to get up.”

Lucas was jolted awake by a soft melodic voice giving way to bright blue-gray eyes. They were beautiful eyes, really, so beautiful…

Then Lucas realized who the eyes belonged to.

“What are you doing in my room?” He could and would ignore the fact his sleepy brain had decided Eliott’s eyes were beautiful. Pretty as they may have been, pretty eyes didn’t make up for the fact that he was a dick.

“It’s seven. Rehearsals start at eight, and I honestly thought you were up and out already, otherwise I would have woken you earlier. Leads and understudies have to be at practice at seven thirty,” Eliott explained patiently, which made Lucas feel a bit like he was being talked down to.

He laid back down. “I’m sick.”

“No you’re not.”

“You can’t just tell me that I’m not sick.”

“Yes I can.”

Lucas glared at Eliott with all the loathing he could muster, but Eliott would not be dissuaded. He continued, “If you don’t show up, they’ll give your role to someone else, someone who doesn’t deserve it, and you won’t even be in the show at all.”

“I already won’t be in the show. That’s what understudy means, remember? Or have you forgotten, since the position is so beneath you?” Lucas pointed out.

Eliott shrugged and stood up from where he sat on the edge of Lucas’ bed. “Of all the things I was expecting from you, defeat wasn’t one of them. A sandbag dropped on my head would have seemed more up your alley. I gave you yesterday to mope around, but this is ridiculous. Guess I had you wrong after all.”

Oh, that was it. How dare Eliott pretend that he knew him at all. “You don’t know a thing about me,” he said, throwing off his comforter and ignoring the way Eliott’s eyes went wide when he noticed Lucas was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. He tried not to think about the reason Eliott might have looked at him that way. Was he that unattractive? Was he out of shape? He immediately regretted lying in his bed sulking the entire day prior, he should have been in the studio.

Something had snapped inside him, flipped a switch and made him realize that, while this situation was nowhere near ideal, he would still work at it like he’d actually gotten the lead. Maybe if he impressed enough in rehearsals the director would realize he’d made a mistake in the casting. It was wishful thinking, but stranger things had happened. “Can you leave now?” Lucas asked, not even bothering to sound polite.

Eliott scrambled up immediately, face red for reasons Lucas didn’t care enough to worry about. “And by the way,” he added, one hand braced to close the door, “Poisoning you would be more my style.”

He didn’t miss the way Eliott grinned as the door closed, but didn’t dwell on it. Let Eliott think he’d won, that he’d swooped in to save the day and snap Lucas out of his stupor. Having him vulnerable might work to Lucas’ advantage, actually.

Lucas finished getting ready as quickly as possible, annoyed to find Eliott waiting for him in the kitchen, a croissant waiting on a plate. Lucas raised his eyebrows at Eliott, then at the pastry. “That’s not for me?”

“Well, yeah,” Eliott said, “I already had one.”

Lucas hummed, grabbing his bag and water bottle, the latter of which Eliott had apparently filled for him. “You really think I’m going to eat that after I just told you how I’d get rid of you if I wanted you gone from the show?”

Eliott laughed as if Lucas had been trying to be funny, but it didn’t reach his eyes. There was a crease between his brows that was a bit too concerned for Lucas’ liking. He left before Eliott could speak further or try to walk with him to practice. Besides, they weren’t fashionably late yet, and Lucas knew that was Eliott’s style.

Yet, much to his disappointment, Eliott caught up with him rather quickly. He fell into step beside Lucas, looking at him with a frown. “I waited for you,” he said in a manner that nearly made Lucas curl his lip in disgust. As if he owed Eliott anything.

“Cool!” Lucas exclaimed in false interest, picking up his pace.

“It might make you look better to walk in with me,” Eliott added, catching up. Lucas stopped in his tracks, pivoting slowly to face Eliott.

He took a step closer. “Listen, I know you think you’re better than everyone, especially me. I get that, I’m over it, but if you think I’m going to let you manipulate me, you’re dead wrong. I don’t care what you do with your life or your ballet career, but just stay the hell away from me, all right?”

Eliott blinked in surprise, taking half a step back. Lucas couldn’t help but feel a surge of satisfaction. “I’m not trying to manipulate you, Lucas. I was joking—”

“I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?” Lucas cocked his head to the side, walking backwards away from Eliott, who stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. “Guess you’re not good at everything after all!”

Lucas was riding the high of finally putting Eliott in his place so much so that he almost ran into Imane as he walked into the studio. She looked at him curiously, probably wondering why he all of a sudden had a spring in his step when he hadn’t responded to any of her messages all weekend. He felt kind of bad about it since she was basically in the same situation he was.

“Morning?” she tested hesitantly.

“Morning,” he answered with more vigor than the greeting required. The two of them placed their bags beside one another, changing into their ballet shoes in his case, pointe shoes in hers. She looked up at him curiously as she tied the ribbons on her shoes. “You didn’t meet up with Manon this morning,” she stated.

Shoot. He’d known he’d blown off his morning workout routine, but he forgot that he hadn’t told Manon he would be doing so. She had probably been waiting for him bright and early for no reason, it wasn’t like she needed the extra practice. “Fuck. How mad is she?” he asked.

“She’s not mad, just worried. I was half expecting you not to show up this morning.” He probably would have been offended had her statement not been accurate. “But, truth to be told, I knew Eliott wouldn’t let that happen.”

His head shot up. “What does Eliott have to do with anything?”

“Besides everything?”

He rolled his eyes. He was really sick of everyone acting like Eliott was the be-all end-all of every aspect of their lives at the school, or just life in general. She sighed in exasperation, mumbling under her breath, “You don’t even know…”

Maybe he didn’t, but he also didn’t care enough to ask her what she meant. “Listen,” he said, “We’re probably going to be partners from here on out, so I just have one request: please, please can we not talk about Eliott? I’ve wasted so much time hating him that I should have spent focusing on ballet.” Not that Lucas wouldn’t still hate Eliott, he’s just do it more quietly.

Imane finished tying her shoes and stood up beside him. “Lucas, you’re understudying the role of a lifetime. You’ve worked harder than anyone I know. Not everything is about your obsession with Eliott, maybe he just had a really great audition.”

“I’m not obsessed—”

“You are, that part wasn’t up for debate. I’m all for not talking about Eliott and focusing on the tasks at hand, but you’re always the one who brings him up in conversation.” She gave him a pointed look, the likes of which he ignored by pretending to fix his hair in the mirror.

Maybe she had a point, but that didn’t matter. If he talked about Eliott a lot, it was only because Eliott had done something that required talking about. He shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for talking about things that bothered him.

“Hey.” She snapped in front of his face. “I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad or anything, but you say you want to focus solely on ballet, and that’s what I want to do too. Ok?” She held her fist out to him, and he waited a moment before grinning and tapping it with his.

“Ok.” He cast a glance around the room. Only the leads and their understudies had been called in a half hour before everyone else, so the room was far emptier than it normally was. For a minute Lucas could pretend that he was there after being cast as the lead, ready for the challenge of the spotlight.

Then, the director addressed them all, shattering those fantasies as quickly as they’d formed. He spoke to them about their rehearsal schedules, what would be required of them in the coming months, and how the rest of their schedule would adjust to account for show rehearsals. Lucas listened attentively, committing everything said to memory. They had an allowance of three unexcused missed rehearsals before the would have to speak to the director or a doctor, five before their role was in jeopardy. It was more than Lucas had been expecting, though he knew he probably wouldn’t be missing any rehearsals anyways.

Imane and Lucas took their places behind Manon and Eliott when the director had finished speaking, sharing a look that said they were in this together. Maybe it wasn’t exactly what either of them had wanted, but they would make it work. If anything, they’d be the best damn understudies the Paris Opera Ballet School had ever seen.

Mercredi 19:34

Lucas should have been rehearsing, he knew that, but he was tired and unmotivated. He’d booked the studio until nine, but they hadn’t been given so much choreography yet that he really needed all the extra time to practice. He should probably go back to his room and start working on homework from his online courses, but sometimes sitting in the silence of an otherwise empty studio was comforting to him.

Studio three was always his favorite, though it was rarely used for classes. It was one of the smaller studios, but the wall with the barre was lined with windows looking out on the city. When he stood in front of the mirror it looked like he was dancing on top of the city, or maybe surrounded by it. It could be distracting to some, which was why they rarely ever used the room, but lucas found it beautiful, especially at night. The eiffel tower was twinkling in the distance, lights of cars and buildings bringing the stars down to earth.

He looked around the room from where he’s simply been sitting on the floor, gazing out the window. There was a piano in the corner of the room, as there was in all the studios for the accompanists to play for them during class. Hardly anyone knew Lucas played piano, and no one knew that sometimes he would sit in the studio and play rather than practice.

Playing helped him ease some of the tension in his mind, the notes translating a sense of sublime solitude and taking him to a world entirely his own. Lucas had always been of the opinion that an infinite number of parallel universes existed and playing piano made him feel like his universe was the best one out there, even though sometimes he felt like his universe was the worst one.

He hadn’t even consciously made the decision to move over to the piano, but there he was, sliding onto the bench, lifting the cover off the keys and pressing his fingers down lightly. The great things about the studio pianos was that they were always in tune, the sounds they emitted were crisp and pure, blending together seamlessly or separating intentionally depending on the piece being played.

Lucas was no composer, but maybe he could have been in a different universe. Maybe he could have been in this one, if ballet hadn’t enraptured him so young in life. The way that some people could improvise while dancing was reflected in the way he played the instrument. Piano was the thing that came most naturally to him, even more naturally than dancing. Every time he played he thought that this must be what dancing felt like to Manon or Eliott and it made it a little harder to hate and blame Eliott for everything he had done.

The music poured out of him, slowly, then quickly, then slow again, fingers flitting over the keys with a reckless abandon that he usually would have tried to contain. He couldn’t do that right now, though, he wanted to revel in something that he was really, really good at.

A lot of times, when he was playing, he stopped thinking, mind going completely blank, not caring about anything but the sounds emitting from the piano. Now, though, his mind took him back to another time he’d played just as freely, quite a long time ago.

It was the summer before he started at the ballet school, and his mother had been having a lot of trouble with her mental health. The only way he used to know how to calm her down was by playing the piano, and soon it became a way for him to calm himself down too.

He’d been playing the piano that night, the night that things had changed quite a bit for him. He’d been playing for her, until she fell asleep on the couch behind him, then playing for himself, trying to forget that soon he wouldn’t be able to play for her at all. He was excited for school, he really was, but he’d never been away from his mother for so long, what if she forgot about him?

Too wrapped up in the music he played, Lucas missed the sound of footsteps on the wood floor, missed the sound of heavy breathing and cracking knuckles. His father had been a kind man, once. He must have been for a woman as kind and gentle as his mother to fall in love with him. Unfortunately, time wore away at smiles and hearts full of love the same way it wore away at the hair on a head or wrinkles on skin.

It was past Lucas’ bedtime, but his mother had been only too happy to allow him extra time at the piano, likely thinking she’d still have him in bed before his father arrived home. Lucas shouldn’t have been awake, he shouldn’t have been in the way, but he was.

When his head his the ground as he was uprooted from his home on the piano bench, he thought he must have fallen off. Maybe he’d gotten tired playing and started to fall asleep. But the impact was too hard, too purposeful, and it left him breathless and dazed.

When Lucas opened his eyes and saw his father above him, he expected a hand, or a smile. He expected his father to ask how he’d fallen off the bench, or to pick him up and carry him to bed, whispering words of comfort into his hair, the way his mother always did when he fell down.

He didn’t expect a swift blow to his side, a face he thought he was supposed to love and was supposed to love him burning bright red with a rage Lucas’ small mind couldn’t find the justification for. It was the first of these instances, and Lucas had been foolish enough to believe it would be the last.   

This year, his last year, was the first year Lucas had come to school without bruises he couldn’t explain, questions he couldn’t answer.

“I didn’t know you still played.”

Lucas withdrew from his trance, feeling the hot press of a tear sliding down his face. He wiped it away as hastily as he could, trying to be subtle about it.

Eliott’s frame leaned lazily against the doorframe, eyes bright even from across the room. Lucas let his hands fall to his sides, looking back down at the keys. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“You’re right.” Eliott shrugged and stepped into the room, eyes never leaving Lucas, even for a moment. “I used to know everything about you.”

Lucas blinked up at him. He almost said I used to know everything about you too. Eliott heard the words, unspoken as they were. He sat next to Lucas on the piano bench, and Lucas wondered briefly how the two of them both fit on the bench, noticing he’d moved over to make room for Eliott without realizing it.

“It was amazing,” Eliott said. Lucas didn’t say anything back, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Eliott’s as he spoke again, “And surprising.”

“I guess I have some talent after all,” Lucas said, more breathlessly than he’d intended.

“Who ever told you that you didn’t?” Eliott inquired seriously. If he hadn’t been knocked off balance by Eliott’s abrupt arrival and the memory he’d interrupted, Lucas probably would have laughed in his face.

Lucas placed the cover back over the keys, tearing his gaze away at last, but he didn’t move. “What are you doing here?”

Eliott shrugged. “I heard the music.”

“All the way from the suites?”

“You’re not the only one who checks out studio time, you know.” There was a small smile on Eliott’s face now, like he was enjoying the conversation. It was this small detail that brought Lucas back into himself.

He blinked a few times. “Right, I can’t believe I almost forgot how much better of a ballet dancer you are.”

Eliott frowned. “I never said anything about being better than you?”

“But it was implied. I’ve been sitting here playing the piano while you’ve been rehearsing. I’ve been slacking while you’ve been getting better, not that you need to.” Great job, Lucas, fill his inflated head with more compliments why don’t you?

“I don’t know,” Eliott sighed, “I wouldn’t consider this slacking. This is a gift. I can’t do with dance what you can do with a piano.”

Why was Eliott being nice to him? Was this his new way to try to psych Lucas out? “What do you want from me?” he asked in exasperation. There was only so much guessing he could do and, frankly, he just didn’t have the energy to deal with it at the moment.

Eliott’s eyebrows shot together. “Nothing?”

“Bullshit.”

“Why is that bullshit?”

“You haven’t given a shit about me for eight years, but now, all of a sudden, when I’m your understudy you pop by to compliment me? If this is your way of trying to get me to quit ballet or something, try again,” Lucas spat.

Eliott’s face hardened. “Not everything is about you Lucas. I didn’t even know it was you playing the music, I was going to come by and listen regardless. When people have that much passion for something, they deserve an audience, or at least a single person who will appreciate them.”

Lucas stood abruptly. Whatever lies Eliott was spinning were too much for him. Eliott hadn’t seemed to think Lucas deserved that same appreciation when he danced, and Lucas knew that the passion was there too.

Without a backward glance, Lucas gathered his things and walked out of the studio. It didn’t matter that he still had the studio booked for two hours. Let Eliott use up those hours for his passion, or whatever.

Eliott didn’t say a word as he left, didn’t try to follow him out. Lucas wasn’t even sure what time he returned to their room, as he’d locked himself inside his room as soon as he’d gotten back.

He laid awake staring at the ceiling far longer than he should have, but he’d long since given up on telling his brain what to do when it came to sleep. Sometimes it was infuriating to live as such, sleep coming only when it was almost too late to help him in any way. It had become more of a nuisance, really, than a necessity. Yann had always expressed concerns about Lucas’ sleeping habits, or lack thereof, but it wasn’t like he had any control over the matter. If Lucas had his way he’d be able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat earlier in the night so he wouldn’t be as tired in the mornings.   

When sleep finally did come, he let it pull him under, dreaming of playing the piano, a boy with beautiful blue-gray eyes by his side, gazing at him with a look that said all the words Lucas had yearned to hear.

When he woke up, he didn’t remember dreaming at all.

Vendredi 14:28

Something didn’t feel right. The lights were too bright, everyone was talking too fast, or maybe they were talking too quietly. Lucas couldn’t hear them. Were they talking about him, or did they also notice that something was off?

Maybe his mind was just too preoccupied to grasp everything going on that day. To make up for his time spent on the piano Wednesday, Lucas booked the studio again the day before, working himself until he was able to fall asleep the moment his head hit the mattress that night. It hardly ever happened, but he’d been so grateful for the drooping of his eyes that he’d given in without a second thought. He’d also successfully avoided Eliott since Wednesday night, a feat he had to clap himself on the back for.

There had been conversation of another party that weekend, but Lucas didn’t think he was up to it this time. Remembering the taste of Jackson’s lips on his did nothing but make him feel a bit sick to his stomach, and he really didn’t want to be goaded into finding a hookup for the night again, or to have another panic attack in the bathroom of a house that was unfamiliar to him.

Plus, drinking would be sure to set him back in classes, filling him up and emptying him out in ways he couldn’t afford to be filled and emptied. He really didn’t know how Arthur did it, weekend after weekend. Somehow he always came back to classes Monday morning with a jovial grin on his face and his entire demeanor intact, nothing lasting of the nights he’d spent too drunk or high to think straight.

Lucas envied him for this, finding it deplorable in the same breath. Yann had more or less relented in his pestering about getting out and about, knowing some of the details of what happened last time. He hadn���t pressed beyond what Lucas was comfortable sharing, but he knew that Yann got the gist of it and wouldn’t bother him about it any further.

Yann really was the best friend he’d ever had. He was in the midst of learning the choreography for his role, looking focused and precise. Normally, Lucas would have looked the same, but something was in the air that day, making it more difficult than ever.

The choreography was impossible to grasp, and it wasn’t even that complex. They were working through some sequences for the corps that day, but his mind couldn’t catch up to what the instructor was saying or to what he was supposed to be doing.

Everything had been fine when he’d woken up, when he’d gone on his run, when he’d warmed up with Imane, but it had all progressively gone downhill. Was it just him, or was the room so, so hot?

“Lucas?”

His head shot up, or maybe it didn’t. Was he looking in the right direction? The instructor’s mouth was moving soundlessly, and the lights were dimming. The sun itself was dimming. That shouldn’t have been possible, the day was only about half over. Had rehearsals gone by so quickly? Maybe the instructor was telling him that it was time to pack up and go home for the day.

When he tried to move his feet to walk over to his bag, he found that he couldn’t really feel them. His mind and body felt equally paralyzed and he didn’t know if he was moving at all or if he was standing in the same spot he’d been standing the entire time.

Oh. Oh no.

“Lucas!” That voice was very familiar. He wondered what they were worried about. He couldn’t see anymore, faintly aware that he was sprawled on the ground. It felt nice, if he was being honest. The darkness in front of him was reaching inside now, threatening to envelop him entirely, wiping his consciousness clean of any thought or feeling.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have, but he let it swallow him whole.

Oh, how good it felt to slip into that sweet, sweet oblivion.

[hugoleslevresrouges]

SKAM FRANCE EP.7 S3 : Lundi 8h45 - Trop cool TRANSCRIPT

In case anyone needs it, I did a quick transcript of this morning’s clip ! It’s not perfect and there might be typos I’m sorry ! I still hope it helps :) !

Basile : At what time do we have to…

Arthur : No idea, dude, I’ve given up, I don’t even care at this point. This is gonna be one hell of a long day.

Basile : Dude! Hi!

Arthur : How are you doing bro?

Lucas : I’m okay.

Arthur : Really ? Everything alright?

Lucas : What about you guys?

Arthur : Couldn’t be better.

Basile : Awesome.

Arthur : Perfect.

Lucas : A bit much for a monday morning, don’t you think?

Arthur : You think so? No, it’s just that we’re so happy to see you!

Basile : Like super happy!

Arthur : How did your week-end go? Was it great?

Lucas : It was alright.

Arthur : Talking about the week-end, have I told you about Saturday? I went to a bar, a bar I’ve never been in before, a gay bar actually, and I had fun like you wouldn’t believe. We really should go back together.

Basile : Same! I was thinking we should totally go to Gay Pride this year!

Arthur : Dude ! Funny you mention that, I came accross a video, did you know it’s not called Gay Pride anymore but “La Marche des Fiertés”*?

Basile : How do you know this?

Arthur : About “La Marche des Fiertés”? Well, from Catherine. Do you remember Catherine? My mom’s friend? Lesbian as it happens, and the nicest person ever. Really, she’s wonderful, a real sweetheart.

Basile : Yeah, I mean lesbians are really cool, especially in porn movies.

Arthur : Yeah, wait... what ?

Daphné : Lucas, Lucas, Lucas ! Is it true that you’re gay? I missed so much stuff lately with everything that’s happening at the foyer, so yeah…

Lucas : Yes it’s true.

Arthur : Well fuck, that’s a relief, we were starting to get scared here… Well not scared per say, but you know what I mean…

Basile : Yeah, we didn’t want to seem dumb…

Arthur : Yeah that was our main concern.

Lucas : Let me put your minds at ease right away, you looked really, really dumb.

Arthur : Yeah, yeah, I thought so.

Lucas : No but I mean, it was… It was funny.

Daphné : I’m so happy for you. Not for us obviously, because it’s sad news for us, it’s kind of a waste, you know what I mean?

Lucas : And by “us” you mean…

Daphné : Well us girls !

Lucas : Guess I’ll take that as a compliment.

Basile : Daphné, while we’re on the subject, I just wanted to remind you that for my part, I am 100% hetero…

Daphné : What you are is 100% lame.

Basile : What have I done wrong this time? Why did she kiss YOU, you’re gay!

Lucas : You clearly struggle with that thing called subtlety.

Arthur : That being said, I’m sure she’s into you.

Lucas : Yeah I could tell that she was thinking of you while kissing me.

Arthur : I’m asking you, did you see her eyes when she kissed him? She was kissing you by transference.

Lucas : Yeah remember we talked about it in class.

Arthur : She didn’t dare kiss you directly because she’s intimidated.

Basile : Are you guys sure ?

Lucas : 100%

Arthur : 200%

Basile : But that’s good news ! Gang check ?

Lucas : We’re missing…

Arthur : Yeah no, Yann’s not here. Come on, let’s go.

Basile : Oh Lucas, I forgot. Tag you’re it !

* Literally “Pride March”

[homestuckisautistic]

Lanque...why?

I wanna start off by saying three (3) things. 

1. I am feeling much better now.

2. A few months ago, back in July maybe, I had a dream that I was still in high school (yikes!) and I had just moved to a new school (double yikes!) and Lanque went there for some reason and he was also the only troll there. Anyway he was very nice but all his friends called him “fingers in his ass Lanque.” Not kidding about this dream btw! Anyway I just wanna say r.i.p. to that perception of Lanque.

3. I wanna give a shout out to Diemen “I love putting drugs on my wiener” Xicali

This is gonna be an incredibly long post so I’m putting the rest under a cut. 

So where do I even fucking begin. 

I’ll start with Lanque’s life as a character, not his life within the canon of Hiveswap. 

As we all know, Lanque’s design was leaked long before his official appearance in the trollcall. A lot of people thought he was a butch lesbian mostly because of his resemblance to Sailor Uranus who was a lesbian in the original Japanese dub of Sailor Moon and apparently he looked like a character from Utena but idk anything about Utena. 

As we all know after Lanque’s official debut he was revealed to be a transgender man by infamous incest-shipping shithead Cohen Edenfield, (and one other person who idk anything about so I’m leaving them out of this) who also wrote Hiveswap and may I remind everyone that Dammek and Xefros’ relationship was marketed as wholesome and sincerely friendly and later it was revealed to be abusive. All I’m saying is that there’s a pattern here! 

Need I also remind everyone* that after Cohen revealed that he shipped incest it provoked a trauma episode in someone who was formerly a big name homestuck blogger on here and they had to leave the site for months for their own safety. Shit like this does affect people, it’s almost 2019 and we should all have the mind to think about how our words and actions affect others.

Now I’m not trans so I’m not gonna speak too much on this but personally I don’t think they intended for Lanque to be trans but rather what happened was they seen that the transmale community latched onto him and confirmed him as trans because of that. After all the friendsims have been taking cues from the fans (Galora becoming canon is a major example along with Amisia and Chahut being friends). It feels like a mean spirited trick and I can only imagine how shitty it felt for transgender men and boys who were hoping Lanque would be an actually decent person.

Onto the “good” route. 

I don’t even consider this route to be Lanque’s route. It’s a sequel to Lynera’s route. I don’t mind this because I’m always happy to see Lynera but wow I wish I had seen her under better circumstances. 

I’ve seen some people saying that the flower crown Lanque is wholly different from the Lanque from the other two routes but I disagree. It’s well known that abusive people often seem very charming and kind at first. In general, if someone is too charming, too kind, and seems too good to be true then they probably are.

The whole reason Lynera asks MSPA reader to go with her to the party is because she’s scared of Lanque. She fucking admits it to his face in a fit of anxiety. Which is to say that Lanque is an asshole in all three endings, we just see it to varying degrees. Also Lanque’s poem sucks.

As far as the other two endings, what can I possibly say? What can I fucking possibly say? Honestly, what can I say? I’m speechless at what happened. As soon as Lanque called Lynera a bitch tears welled up in my eyes and I only halfway succeeded at holding them back. When men call women bitches it comes from such a vitriolic place and even though the friendsims have no voice acting I could practically hear the hatred in Lanque’s voice. 

There’s really nothing else to say about those two endings.

It’s interesting to note that much of the dialogue in Lanque’s route is very tongue in cheek and breaks the fourth wall (”What about you? Oh I’m not real” “I mean I’ve had feelings for a girl before so it’d be really problematic if I liked a boy now.”) 

And the reason I bring this up is because of that last quote. Literally what the fuck. What was the point of that. Best case scenario is that everyone ignores it and moves on but because I’m typing this right now we all know that’s not the case. Literally all this line is going to do is promote tension between lesbians and bisexual women. It feels very intentional and very much like a jab at how lesbians and bi women seemingly can’t get along. It’s insidious. If someone thinks of Lynera as bi then that’s cool I honestly don’t care but her interactions with Lanque shouldn’t be used to justify that. Here’s why.

1. She outright admits she’s SCARED of him. She admits this in a fit of anxiety where she accidentally reveals her true feelings. IF she did have a crush on Lanque she wouldn’t have said “and I’m scared of you” she would’ve said “and I secretly have a crush on you and I’m scared of looking stupid in front of you.”

Also it’s literally feminism 101 to listen to people when they express disinterest. It’s also feminism 101 to not call people sluts as shorthand for “provocatively dressed” or “scantily clad” but that happens in this route too so whatever.

2. When Lanque starts coming onto Lynera the reader states that they think she’s not into it. Yes you can be flustered around a crush but that should mean that you have butterflies in your stomach and are scared of making a fool of yourself in front of them not that you are literally fucking scared. 

So, how could Lanque have been better?

Hear me out. In his original trollcall card, it says he “still has a livechurnal” (read: livejournal). So they could have made him super behind the times technology wise. Maybe they could’ve shown him having a busted old computer that still runs Windows XP because hey, it still works. Maybe his main pastime is playing minesweeper or virtual solitaire. Maybe he doesn’t even have a smartphone. The plot of his route could’ve been that his old computer finally breaks and he has to get a new one. Also, have him talk a bit about being trans and hire a trans sensitivity reader to make sure everything makes sense and isn’t offensive. 

Also, there is literally no reason for Lanque to be so shitty. The reason why Vriska and even Gamzee to an extent are beloved characters is because they have a motive to o horrible things. Vriska was groomed to be a child soldier and Gamzee was a victim of child neglect. Lanque has none of this.

I’m also very worried for Wanshi and I hope she never finds out how terrible Lanque can be. 

Also, fun fact: apparently Livejournal is very popular in Russia. According to Wikipedia, Livejournal is the largest social media site on the Russian speaking portion of the internet, and half of Livejournal’s userbase is from Russia. The more you know!

 If you’ve read this far then I want to say thanks. I also want to provide a link to “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s a fantastic book that has helped me understand why my dad is the way he is and if you’re dealing with or have dealt with abuse in the past this book will almost certainly help you. It mainly focuses on abusive men and intimate partner violence but the information this book provides can be applied to nearly every abusive person. Here’s the free pdf: https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

I’ll be writing a post about the Soleils tomorrow,

- Mod Jessica

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - It's Time

With another day passing and still no baby, Sabrina's doctor orders a C-section in order to get their baby out safely, so Sabrina and Scarlett make their way to the hospital.

First, Sabrina gets their epidural to prepare for the surgery. Scarlett soon joins them in their room, chatting with them and the doctor while they wait for the epidural to kick in.

Scarlett: Everything okay, Doc? Heart rate good? How about oxygen levels? Honey, do you need me to--

Sabrina: Mom, this time I need you to take a deep breath. Everything's okay.

Scarlett: Okay, okay. Hear ya. It's just, whew, it's real now! Are you sure you don't want Alton or Marquise here? I can always call them.

Sabrina: I think it'd just be awkward to have my two potential baby-daddies waiting on standby to find out if they're a dad or not. Just keep them updated on things like we discussed.

Scarlett: If you're sure.

Sabrina: I am. Less stress for me and the baby.

Dr. Lundy: Okay Sabrina, we're all prepped and ready to go! Are you ready?

Sabrina's face, which was initially cool, calm, and collected, suddenly shows all the worry and fear resting deep inside. Still, they collect themselves and find some resolve. There's no turning back.

Sabrina: No, but let's do this.

Sabrina is wheeled into the operating room with Scarlett not far behind.

Dr. Lundy: Okay Sabrina, the time has come! We're going to make the incision in a few moments. You should feel some pressure but no pain, but if you do just let me know, okay?

Scarlett: I'm right here baby. You can do this.

Sabrina manages a meager smile and nods in regard to the words said by their doctor and mother, and Dr. Lundy begins.

The process remains quiet for some time, Scarlett trying to keep a level head in order to make sure Sabrina doesn't get overwhelmed. Sabrina is mostly stoic, though on the inside they're freaking out. There's no pain like Dr. Lundy said, but they can still feel the pressure as stated. That's enough to get their heart beating just a little bit faster. They focus on breathing deeply in order to stay calm.

Dr. Lundy: We're almost through, Sabrina! Just one last bit... You're going to feel a lot of pressure for a moment, okay?

Sabrina breathes through this new round of pressure, feeling their body being pushed and pulled as their baby is taken out. Dr. Lundy lifts his arms, and Scarlett dares to lift her head and look over the curtain shielding them from what occurs below.

Scarlett: I see him!

Dr. Lundy pulls the little tyke fully out and places him on Sabrina's chest.

Dr. Lundy: And it's a boy! Congratulations!

Scarlett: Oh my goodness, Sabrina, look at him!

Sabrina looks down at their son in mild shock. After a marathon pregnancy, it seemed like this day would never come. Yet, here he is, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Sabrina: Oh my gosh... He's beautiful.

Scarlett: You did it, baby! You did it! I'm so proud of you! A grandson! Welcome to the world, my boy.

A smile creeps onto Sabrina's features.

Sabrina: A son. I have a son.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW14

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

No Slacker of the Week this week sorry about that bad job by me.

And if you missed it for subscribers Friday My Life episode just came out!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Sterling, Mount, Abraham

IN (for -8 points hit): Ozil, Lacazette, Son

Welcome back new and old friends.

Got rid of the pieces of shit who have been making me want to kill myself and in come players I love and who are not pieces of shit.

Really just rolling loose right now on that sweet sweet tilt, but hey, I am but a man.

Ozil picks himself with new bald manager bounce. I was even thinking of purchasing him before the good ebenings became bad ebenings and the firing gave me more than enough of an excuse to do. Laca I anticipate will be playing central striker so let's fucking go Laca. Was a close one with him versus Jesus but in the end pod partner was speaking good sense to me in saying Laca could be a long term hold.

Finally, after much deliberating over Alli my lover, I went with private corporal suonnyboy. Good player, good guy. Am a bit terrified of rotation but he is a fit machine so hopefully he isn't impacted. New look squad feels good if I can't figure out how to get green arrows at least I can figure out how to get friends in.

GK:

Pope (CRY)

Pope in the last good fixture before they turn for Burnley.

Will have to deliberate and think about whether or not I'll hold him past this weekend as the rest of my team suddenly looks good. Well it better look fucking good after I just took 12 point hits over this GW and last combined.

Pains me to say it but holy fucking hell do I need a 0-0 in this one.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (BHA)

Trent and Robbo go.....again. Trent rested against Napoli was nice but am now worried about Robbo playing tomorrow. Pewps...we'll see.

Lundstram (wol)

Pointstram goes to the wolverines in a pretty bad fixture suddenly but fixtures don't matter for pointstram. Points incoming probably...as if it matters at this point anyway.

Kelly (bur)

Martin Kelly gets a run out for the first time this season for me with Ward's demise. Really fucking lucky shit for me and all other Kelly owners for Ward to die right before this tasty run of games and fixture pile up.

I'm planning on riding Kelly for the near term / as long as Ward is out so hopefully we pick up some cleans against all these shit ass teams.

MID:

De Bruyne (new), Ozil (nor), Son (BOU)

Suddenly I am stuck with just one City attacker..Kevin the ging...still feels fine though. Stats have been good even if his final balls have not looked so nice recently. Feel like he'll still just pick up points here and there even if City look a bit off it.

New friends mantis bug eyed god and private swan are accompanying Kevin this week and for the weeks to come. I think these three would really get along well IRL and in the locker room as they all offer something different and seem like they would compliment each others personalities really well.

Surely this will have a huge effect on their FPL point output. You're welcome.

FWD:

Kane (BOU), Lacazette (nor), Vardy (EVE)

Tasty front three for me suddenly with Kane, Laca, and Vardz.

Vardy and Kane both a couple of horses who should be able to take all the minutes they can handle in this holiday period.

Laca a massive differential at this moment and hoping that they completely dick over Farke's team this weekend. New manager bounce let's get it going.

CAP:

Kane (BOU)

Sticking with Kane this weekend again.

Bournemouth are in all sorts and will be missing Billing which is pretty big. Everton are also in complete and utter shambles and you really can't go wrong with Vardz. Looking to spike with the mouth breather....come on Harold fucking tit me one time lad.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Sterling, Abraham

IN (for -4 points hit): Kane, Pulisic

It’s what I really wanted to do... Kane and Pulisic I really wanted them I couldn’t stop mentioning them on Friday My Life and here I am.

My dad and Walsh and my balls lead me towards moving out Raz instead of Mo (even though I think Mo out might’ve been more correct move) and alas here we are. Honestly? It feels great. If Raz hauls then Raz hauls (if he dies he dies) and life is life and I basically won’t know about it anyway because I’ll be on a train to Liverpool going to see Liverpool v. Brighton in real life.

Later Raz.

Kane is looking like a long term hold for me I’m loving what I’m seeing and honestly same with Pulisic. He’s breaking out before our eyes in what seems like an absolute worldy in the transfer market from Chelsea’s scouts. Good job by them.

Eden who?

GK:

Gazzaniga (BOU)

Two matches under Mou and four goals conceded so far so it’s not any sort of defensive fortress yettttttt but hopefully there will be improvement and I expect improvement. Clean would be cool.

DEF:

van Dijk (BHA)

No Fabinho, no cleans, ribcage knock, fuck. Why did I bring in VVD again?

I guess he almost scored vs. Palace and almost scored vs. Napoli maybe VVDue is back? TBD.

Can’t wait to watch him spraying passes tomorrow :heart_eyes:

Lundstram (wol)

Jim will probably get his normal one goal nine point haul and it’ll hurt even more this time... but maybe Lundy will come back the other end and put one in himself??? Whatever start Lund every week gonna be great gonna love it.

Söyüncü (EVE)

Soy clean looks pretty good here. Everton are on the brink of disaster as usual probably with an eye ahead towards the Merseyside Derbz.

Tomori (WHU)

Little sketchy seeing Tomori dropped for Christensen in UCL but then Chelsea were a sieve at the back and Valencia coulda/shoulda scored like 5 goals so I’m not worried. Straight back in for Tomo and hopefully a clean alongside him.

MID:

Salah (BHA)

The words come out of my mouth on Friday My Life where I’m like why do I even bother with Mo anymore and yet here I am again another week with Mo slotted straight in.

In my defense as I wrote above I’ll be at the match so that tipped the scales a lot in Mo’s favor.

Maddison (EVE)

Tick merchant set and forget.

Pulisic (WHU)

Very excited about Pulisic and his breakout. The kid is fucking awesome.

De Bruyne (new)

Kev is still great and a big part of what City do. Should trickle points.

FWD:

Kane (BOU)

Very happy to have Harry and planning on holding him for a while as long as he remains fit. I think Mou will bring the best out of him, or what’s left of him.

Vardy (EVE)

Yeah duh.

CAP:

Salah (BHA)

Easy. Thanks Dave and James and Bug.

[jillmckenzie1]

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bill & Ted Face the Music is streaming on Prime

Let’s talk about trilogies. Specifically, how unbelievably hard they are to pull off. It’s difficult enough to pull off a good movie, considering you need a strong script, solid direction, and competent actors. To pull off a decent sequel, you need to build on the world you first established and go in a new direction yet one that’s not so new it undoes the first film. To do all of that, and add a third film wrapping up everything? It’s easier to climb up Mount Everest blindfolded and naked.

Even the most prestigious and profitable franchises have trouble with this. Consider that:

  All three Star Wars trilogies have problematic entries. Return of the Jedi is only two-thirds of a good movie, Attack of the Clones is a nightmare, and The Rise of Skywalker stinks up the joint like bad sushi.

The MCU has the hastily tacked together Iron Man 2, along with the barely there Thor: The Dark World.

The Matrix is a flat-out science fiction classic. The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions lurch between ponderous speeches and not quite as cool as they should be action sequences.*

The Godfather and The Godfather: Part II are literally two of the greatest films ever made. The Godfather: Part III isn’t.

Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins finally makes Bruce Wayne a compelling character, while The Dark Knight gave audiences a terrifying Joker and a hero breaking his own moral code. The Dark Knight Rises, on the other hand, takes big swings and has big misses. Also, a bad guy that sounds like Sean Connery locked in a bathysphere.

  Years of merciless bludgeoning at the hands of greedy, incompetent, or misguided filmmakers has taught us that the third entries of a series usually blows chunks. When a film comes out that defies the odds…well, it can be a little breathtaking. The insane part isn’t just that Bill & Ted Face the Music is a trilogy-capper made with intelligence and deep silliness. No, the insane part is that it’s the end of a trilogy that gets better with every entry. This trilogy never drops in quality.

To bring you up to speed, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure concerns Bill S. Preston, Esquire (Alex Winter), and Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves) a pair of high-school himbos living in San Dimas, California. To pass a critical history test, they get their hands on a time-traveling phone booth, gain a futuristic mentor in Rufus (George Carlin) and meet a wide variety of historical personages. A few years pass, and in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, the guys are killed by their evil robot duplicates, sent to Hell, befriend Death (William Sadler), and learn their true destiny; to write a song capable of uniting humanity.

So much for that. Years have passed, and the guys have failed to write The Greatest Song In The History of The World. Their fame has flagged, and they’re reduced to playing weddings. Their marriages to the princesses Joanna (Jayma Mays) and Elizabeth (Erinn Hayes) are also in bad shape. An amusing scene in marriage counseling shows us that Ted & Bill** need to be together constantly, even during therapy.

There’s good news and bad news, though. The good news is that, somehow, the guys managed to procreate. They’re the proud papas to Billie (Brigette Lundy-Paine) and Thea (Samara Weaving). The bad news is that since Bill & Ted’s band Wyld Stallyns failed repeatedly in writing The Song, reality itself is beginning to collapse. Kelly (Kristin Schaal) is the daughter of Rufus, and she arrives from the future to tell them that now would be a good time to get in gear and write The Song.

Only…it’s hard. Really, really hard. So hard that Bill & Ted come up with another idea. They’ll “borrow” the time machine, travel to the future, and “borrow” The Song from their future selves. It should be simple. Only it’s not. There’s the part where they learn that their future selves live increasingly miserable lives. And the part where Billie and Thea “borrow” another time machine to put together a supergroup of the greatest musicians in history to help their dads, but run into a little snag. And the part where the princesses “borrow” a time machine and learn their futures with Bill & Ted might not be most triumphant. And the part where Bill & Ted are being hunted by Dennis Caleb McCoy (Anthony Carrigan), a murderous robot that really just needs friends.

Bill & Ted Face the Music never leans hard into nostalgia. It never feels like a cheap cash grab. Instead, it’s like getting snuggles from a dopey Golden Retriever. The dog might not know his name or what the word “sit” even means, but he’s a sweetheart who’s all about wanting to show you how much he loves you.

Each of the three films in the Bill & Ted trilogy was helmed by a different director.*** Of the three of them, Face the Music’s Dean Parisot has made the most polished installment. As the director of the second-best Star Trek movie of all time, Galaxy Quest, Parisot has the skill to make this kind of tomfoolery look good. While the pacing drags just a little in the first half-hour, once the film gets going, it moves at a breakneck pace.

You have to be very smart to write characters that are this kind of dumb. Screenwriters Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson are, and as the writers of all three films, they know exactly when to go up to the line. Their script is gloriously silly. Multiple characters travel through numerous timelines at the same time, but Matheson and Solomon always make sure we know what’s happening and when. Better yet, the script is infused with infectious optimism. The idea that friendship and a kickass song can save the world never feels cheesy. Instead, it feels right. Along with that blast of hope, there’s a blast of self-awareness in this script. Bill & Ted are two guys told over and over in the first two films that they were special, beautiful and unique snowflakes. In Face the Music, they have to reckon with the fact that their life plan didn’t work out. Instead of doubling down and trying harder, we see their perspective shift. They grow and change. That’s what good writing is all about.

With 29 years between installments, you can be forgiven for wondering if Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves can smoothly step back into these iconic roles. A great deal has changed for them. Reeves has become the greatest action star in American movies, while Winter has made a number of outstanding documentaries. Winter’s return is a little smoother as Bill, and he’s just as goofily charming as ever. Reeves is a bit stiff as Ted, but he’s just as game as ever to get ridiculous. Perhaps my favorite performances were Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine as Thea and Billie. They go beyond imitating Reeves and Winter and are an effective comic duo in their own right. Speaking of which, William Sadler returns (and very nearly steals the show again) as Death. Sadler has such a willingness to do absolutely anything to make us laugh. He’s so good at comedy that I wish he’d do more of it. Kid Cudi plays himself, and his comic timing is precise and perfect. There’s not a false note in this cast and everyone shows up to play.

As much as I love the film, it’s not perfect. It takes some time to really get into the groove, and it’s hampered by some problematic pacing. Speaking of problematic, let’s talk about the character of Grom. She’s a cavewoman, and she’s played by Patty Anne Miller, a wildly talented drummer who’s worked with Beyoncé and CeeLo Green. Someone with the chops that Miller has should absolutely be celebrated. The film choosing a superband with a majority of POC (Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Ling Lun, and Mozart, along with Grom.) is cool. But having a Black woman play that particular role, a cavewoman? Eh…not a good look. Swap her out for someone like either Sylvia Robinson or Sister Rosetta Tharp, and you have something excellent.

Bill & Ted Face the Music is more than a skillful way to close out a beloved franchise that doesn’t quite get the respect it deserves. It’s a guitar riff of delightful, positive energy that had me smiling for nearly the entire run time. While there’s a lot to be cranky about these days, Bill & Ted reminds us that we can face the future with a cheerful grin.

    *Though the freeway chase in Reloaded is genuinely cool.

**Isn’t it jarring to read it like that?

***Stephen Herek directed the first film and went on to a long and steady career as a journeyman director. Peter Hewitt directed the second film and immersed himself in family films, for the most part.

The post Be Excellent To Each Other first appeared on The Denver Guide.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/be-excellent-to-each-other/

[americanahighways]

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photos by Jimmy Faber

Watching The National Reserve and Sarah Shook & the Disarmers play back-to-back at the Ardmore Music Hall last Saturday night, I realized that I was witnessing two nascent Americana bands literally headed in opposite directions.

Shook & Co. were on their last stop of a four-shows-in-four-nights East coast mini-tour, having been on tour — not only across the U.S., but in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Canada, the Netherlands, the U.K. and Spain to boot — almost non-stop since early March of 2018. The National Reserve, on the other hand, were just about to embark on the European leg of their ongoing tour, with shows starting next week in Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Germany in support of their debut album Hotel La Grange.

Having caught Shook & the Disarmers, along with Zephaniah O’hora and Grady Hoss & The Sidewinders, at the tiny Dawson Street Pub in Philly in April of 2018, I was curious to see how the notoriously hard grind of life on the road might have affected them. The most obvious result was that the band was tight as hell, rolling through the best songs from their two albums (2017’s “Sidelong” and their 2018 follow-up “Years”) with precision, finesse and intensity. Shook’s voice was in fine fiddle and got stronger as the night went on, while guitarist Eric Peterson and pedal steel player Phil Sullivan took turns laying down tasty, Bakersfield-inspired licks. Bassist Aaron Oliva made playing barroom-brawl country on an upright bass look easy, while drummer Kevin McClain held the band’s groove steady throughout, shining particularly (though unobtrusively) on their trainbeat-driven numbers.

The band had clearly developed a solid sense of showmanship since I last saw them, when they came across as more of a fun-loving bar band that didn’t take itself all that seriously. Last March, Shook’s banter was carefree and edgy in that tough-chick, “I- don’t-give-a-shit” way of hers, the band happily chatted with the audience and the other bands’ personnel both on-stage and on the tiny patio by Dawson Street’s side door, they drank a just a wee bit (a-hem!), and they seemed genuinely to be having one hell of a good time.

This time around they seemed more self-aware, image-wise. Perhaps it was just that they are now playing bigger venues (the Ardmore Music Hall is easily eight times the size of the tiny Dawson St. Pub) as well as to more popular acclaim, with its attendant critical microscopes. Peterson, for example, came dressed up for the occasion, resplendent in a black silk top-hat decorated with a bright red band; with his lean, black-clad frame, dark-framed glasses and distinctly parted fu manchu- like grey beard, he looked the part of a poster-ready rock star.

The other band members were less nattily attired though. Except for Shook, who wore her usual combo of leather jacket (quickly removed), tattoos and fitted tee, they came casually dressed in grey t-shirts and jeans. Still, combined with the stage’s greater remove (compared to the stageless Dawson St. at least), the relative lack of between- song banter, the professional staging and light management, the overall impression I had was of a band that was less casual, but by the same token more professional and intent on taking their craft seriously.

The humorous moments I caught during the band’s time on stage at the AMH came when the singer ceremoniously tipped her plastic cup of whiskey with an over-hearty “Cheers!” to the crowd, and then later when I caught a glimpse of the band’s set list, with its cute, inside-jokey replacement of several abbreviated song names with titles like “Farting” (for “Parting Words”), “Home Fries” (for “Keep the Home Fires Burning”) and “Whut” (for “What It Takes”).

The crowd ate it up, singing along knowingly with several numbers. Those included “Fuck Up,” onto which the audience added an incongruously merry gloss to Shock’s weary, simmering anger, and “New Ways to Fail,” during which the crowd gave special emphasis to the line “I need this shit like I need ANOTHER HOLE IN MY HEAD.” By the time they got to “Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don’t” — during which Sullivan’s pedal steel quickly rose to the feisty occasion — a bunch of white- haired older gentleman in flannel shirts, jeans and trucker caps were crowding the front of the stage and shouting along with every word.

The only rumble of dissatisfaction I sensed from the crowd came when the band limited its encore performance to a single song. (In response to Shook’s ”We’ve got one more for you,” the crowd responded pleadingly: “How about two more?!?”) But what a performance that encore was! — with Shook spitting out the “Nah-AIILL in this here coffin” like an angry Appalachian cast-off, Peterson cueing up yet another habañero-hot Telecaster solo, and Sullivan following that with a series of well-lubricated pedal steel lines that prompted a chorus of “Yee-haw!!!’s” from the balcony.

Two earlier moments in the show shared the energy and joy of that encore. The first came when Shook delivered the recently-released ballad “The Way She Looked at You,” digging in passionately on the mournful chorus while Sullivan’s pedal steel wept openly behind her. The other big bump in energy, which sent a perceptible electric zing through the crowd this time, came when Peterson and Sullivan traded fours about 2:30 into “What It Takes,” while drummer Kevin McClain alternated deftly between delicate rim taps and rock-solid pounding. The ensemble playing was as tight as on the recording, but hearing and seeing it performed live was absolutely thrilling. It was clear at these moments that the band was not only clicking on all fours, but actively enjoying itself.

In short, Shook and her Disarmers delivered on all counts and clearly matched or exceeded the audience’s expectations. Still, to my mind at least, they did so in the professional and slightly cool manner of, say, a really good mechanic — rather than, in contrast with last year’s pre-European tour show at Dawson St., a band that was excited to be raisin’ hell out on the road, meeting new folks every night, and basking in the glory of a great new record.

On the other hand, the latter was exactly the vibe The National Reserve gave off during their thrilling 75+ minute, 11-song set. While I’m not sure the Reserve is quite “there yet” (to use a hack-critical phrase) in terms of the level of their songwriting — which is not as memorable and distinctive as Shook’s, for example — and their approach’s originality, they brought an impressive energy and verve, along with a white-hot level of musicianship, to their set at the AMH.

Like Shook and her Disarmers on their last two passes through Philly in 2018 (the second was at Johnny Brenda’s in mid-September), the Reservists seemed intent on kicking butt and taking no prisoners at AMH. Led by songwriter, vocalist and multi- instrumentalist Sean Walsh along with the towering Jon Ladeau on vocals and guitar, The Reserve came out rocking right off the bat with a Ladeau-led power-poppish number that incorporated three-part harmonies and (naturally) a jangly Rickenbacher guitar. Ladeau is a BIG guy and a strong vocalist with a rough-edged, soulful voice, and with his long dark hair and beard, American flag-adorned jeans jacket and hiking boots, he projected a powerful yet laid-back presence.

Walsh, who grew up about a half-hour from Ardmore, took over the lead vocals on the second number, and the two continued to toss the lead vocal baton back and forth for the duration of the set, with bassist Scott Povrick and drummer Brian Geltner intermittently contributing tasty harmonies. Walsh adorned this bouncy, melodic number with a scorching Les Paul solo featuring a nifty descending slide lick, which was followed by a second solo by Ladeau that actually drew screams from the crowd.

This back-and-forth dynamic, with their talents intertwining at times, continued throughout, much to the crowd’s delight. The Reservists followed those first two numbers with a wide variety of tunes, including a swampy blues rocker highlighted by a Freddie King-like solo by Ladeau; a folksy-twangy Americana singalong number called “Abe Lincoln”; a southern rocker featuring “Sweet Home, Alabama”-ish chord changes, a dual guitar attack AND dueling vocals; and a cover of Derroll Adams’ “Roll On, Babe” that incorporated a vaguely Caribbean shuffle beat, a glissando solo over chimey rhythm guitar effects, and a superb Les Paul slide solo by Walsh.

The second half of their set included the title song from their album Hotel La Grange, a slow ballad about meeting the “queen of Bowling Green” at that hotel; a mid-tempo country rocker with Allman Brothers overtones; a slide-centered blues rocker that evolved into an extended jam that showed off all of the band’s skills, drawing wild applause from the crowd and the exclamation “MAN, this is fun!” from Ladeau; and a tasty roots-gospel-country rock singalong with the refrain “Let me ride in your big Cadillac, Lord Jesus / Let me ride in your big Cadillac.” The audience happily crooned along on the latter.

They closed with a jammy southern rocker that featured more tasty harmonies and snazzy tempo changes. Watson and Ladeau cut loose on the breakdowns and solos during this one, without the song’s ever getting raggedy or wooly. Tight in concept and delivery, it was a fitting finale to the band’s impressive set.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention local duo Hannah Taylor and Rekardo Lee (aka, Jesse Lundy), who opened the evening with a fun eight-song set of blues-based numbers. With her big up-draft of bright red hair and blonde cowboy boots, Taylor belted out these tunes — which encompassed everything from mellow mid-tempo numbers, to a rockin’ Ricky’ Nelson number (“I Believe”), to some obscure, low-down 1920s blues ditties and even a slow, sweet version of “Blue Bayou” — with a twangy yet robust voice reminiscent of early Bonnie Raitt. Alternating between a metal resonator guitar that was “double-signed” (the first signature had rubbed off) by Edgar Winter and a jumbo acoustic, Lee complemented Taylor’s voice perfectly with his good-’n’-growly slide accompaniment and Chuck Berry-inflected blues licks. Their good-natured, diverse set proved the perfect aperitif for the night’s main courses.

—————

Merch, videos, and tour dates for Sarah Shook & the Disarmers can be found at: https://www.disarmers.com

Tour dates, band info, recordings and merch for The National Reserve are available at: https://thenationalreserve.com/home

Info and links for Hannah Taylor and the Rekardo Lee Trio can be found at: https:// http://www.facebook.com/htrl3/

  Show Review: Life on the Road: Sarah Shook & the Disarmers and The National Reserve Rev Up Their Engines at the Ardmore Music Hall @sarahshook @nationalreserve @ardmoremusicpa photos by Jimmy Faber Watching The National Reserve and Sarah Shook & the Disarmers play back-to-back at the Ardmore Music Hall last Saturday night, I realized that I was witnessing two nascent Americana bands literally headed in opposite directions.

[besttravelaccessoriescollec-blog]

Best Travel Gadgets

Some of them are just too fun to miss, others add extra convenience to our experiences, yet others open up new realms in the world of technology. You’ve guessed it: we’re talking about travel gadgets! These smart tools that have forever changed the way we experience the world are life-savers for today’s travelers.

Here are 27 cool travel gadgets ready to make your trips safer, easier, or simply more enjoyable.

Leica Q “Snow” Digital Camera

Designed in collaboration with Olympic snowboarding champion Iouri Podladtchikov, the limited “Snow” edition of Leica Q stands out for its stylish white exterior in premium cowhide leather and silver-anodized finish.

Limited to 300 units, this special model features the same outstanding technical specifications as the regular Q (Typ 116) digital camera, including the 24.2 MP full-frame sensor, fast prime Summilux lens, and Maestro II processor. Each Leica Q Snow has an exclusive serial number engraved on its hot shoe, and comes equipped with an exquisite white leather carrying case and color-matched strap.

Needless to say, this luxurious, winter-inspired camera makes for a fantastic photography experience, wherever the road may take you.

Pocket-Size Washing Machine

Whether you are backpacking through Europe, going on an African safari, or traveling on a budget in South Asia, you are going to love the Scrubba Wash Bag. Equipped with a flexible washboard, this lightweight, pocket-size wash bag will not only help you do your laundry anywhere on the road, but also save you money and time. With only 2-4 liters of water and a bit of washing liquid, you’ll have your clothes fresh and clean in less than 3 minutes.

Sandless Beach Mat

Calling all beach lovers! The Sandless Beach Mat is a revolutionary beach accessory that’s literally impossible to cover with sand. Initially intended for military uses, this clever sand-free ground sheet is perfect for a fun and stress free beach outing. Finally, no more annoyingly sticky sand! Now you can make the most of your seaside experience while lounging in the warm sunshine, reading a book, or spreading out a picnic.

The Sandless Beach Tote

The Sandless Beach Tote stands out from the crowd thanks to its special material, which, due to its two layers of patented woven PVC/PE, prevents it from filling with sand. Moreover, the bag is designed to keep mold and mildew away, and comes equipped with shoulder straps, reinforced box stitch seams, and an internal pocket to fit your wallet or phone.

Handmade Vintage Backpack

Who says a backpack has to be bulky and boring? Handmade from waxed canvas and reclaimed leather, the compact Lundy bag is as chic as it is practical. A reliable travel companion for a weekend getaway or a quick city break, this handsome carry-all features a handy front button pocket and 2 interior compartments lined with durable cotton fabric. Plus, its sturdy, fully adjustable backstraps will leave your arms and hands free to move, while its timeless, vintage inspired design, which goes with nearly any look, will make you feel stylish and confident throughout your trip.

World’s Smallest Travel Steam Iron

Featuring a 420-watt motor and three fabric heating levels, this mini travel steam iron is the smallest of its kind in the world. The compact device is about the size of a computer mouse and can be extremely useful for business travelers who are on the road and need to remove the inevitable wrinkles from packed clothing.

Smallest Automated Travel Vacuum

Small, smart, and stylish, VAGO is the ultimate travel packing gadget. Equipped with a pressure detecting sensor, this automatic vacuum pump removes all the air inside your suitcase, condensing the clothes to half their size, thus leaving plenty of room for souvenirs and other things you may buy on your trip.

It’s an essential travel tool, especially if you’re adding a bit of shopping to your trip, or traveling somewhere cold and need to bring along some heavy winter wear.

Flask Light

Part flashlight, part booze container, this unique multifunctional tool is an awesome travel accessory for glamping enthusiasts, festival goers, fishing aficionados, and anyone in between.

In addition to holding 10 ounces of your favorite beverage, the VSSL Flask includes 2 collapsible stainless steel shot cups, a bottle opener, a compass, and a powerful LED flood beam flashlight. If you ask me, I’m pretty sure this would also make an inspired gift for the outdoor adventurer in your life.

Luggage Scooter

Finding the best carry-on luggage for your next vacation depends on a number of factors, including your personal style, needs, and design preferences.

A practical, stylish, and fun travel accessory, the Micro 3in1 Luggage Scooter helps travelers move around quickly and easily. Designed in collaboration with DJ Steve Aoki, this innovative trolley that doubles as a kickboard scooter also has Bluetooth Sound2Go speakers incorporated for listening music while gliding your way through the airport. Carrying your luggage will never be boring again with this multifunctional travel gadget!

Video Recording Sunglasses

Snapchat (now Snap)’s fans will fall in love with the company’s newfangled video recording glasses called Spectacles. The product is not just cool and good looking, but it actually protects your eyes from the sun, too. Its main function, however, is to record snaps of your day and sync them to your Snapchat Memories, which makes it a fun travel accessory, whether you’re playing tourist in your own city or heading overseas.

The eyewear comes in three colors (black, coral, and teal), and has a small camera built into the frame, allowing users to capture 10-second clips and send them to their iPhone or Android smartphone via the Snapchat app, all without using their hands. The glasses’ bright yellow case doubles as portable battery charger and includes a USB cable and a ghost-shaped cleaning cloth.

Portable Cocktail Kit

What better way to get in the vacation spirit than with a portable cocktail kit, equipped with everything you need to craft two proper beverages in style, anywhere, anytime? Compact enough to fit in a pocket, W&P’s slick Carry-On Cocktail Kit is the best bet for mixologists on the go, offering a handy recipe card, stainless steel spoon/muddler, linen coaster, and all the ingredients for two proper in-flight concoctions.

Depending on your preferences, there are a variety of travel sets to choose from, from Champagne and Bloody Marry to Gin & Tonic and the original Old Fashioned.

Hi-Tech Foot Warmers

Foot warmers are known for making winter activities as comfortable and enjoyable as a day at the beach, but the innovative ThermaCELL Heated Insoles will take your feet comfort to the next level. Equipped with state-of-the-art thermal technology, these remote-controlled foot warmers will keep your feet warm and dry thanks to a thermostat-driven control system and a water-resistant fabric liner which protects them from moisture.

Backpack Drink Dispenser

Ideal for outdoor gatherings, music festivals, and sport events, the ingenious Tailgater Dual Tank Backpack Drink Dispenser allows you to kick off the party by pouring mixed drinks for friends and family straight from your backpack.

Best Travel Drone

With its 4K camera, intuitive smartphone control, and a staggering 27 minutes of flying time, DJI’s Mavic Pro is no doubt, one of the best travel drones out there. The compact, portable device is packed with intelligent features and can fly as far as 4.3 miles away, allowing you to capture the beauty of your surroundings in flawless HD video at 4K/30fps or 1080p/96fps, as well as photographs in 12MP Raw or JPG format.

Perfect for travelers always eager to immortalize and share their adventures on the go, this sleek & silent high-tech flying camera comes with GPS, front-facing optical sensors that help it avoid obstacles, as well as 11 cool flight modes, including tripod and selfie settings.

Female Urination Device

Travel is not always glamorous, especially when seeking to experience the world on a budget. Unsanitary hostel bathrooms, camping sites with poor facilities, and dirty public toilets are just some of the problems travelers have to deal with while abroad. Well, designed exclusively for women, GoGirl solves many of these issues by allowing girls to pee while standing up. Besides, this smart hygiene product made from medical grade silicone is small enough to fit in your purse.

Wine Bag

Designed by Jakob Wagner, the Menu Baggy Winecoat is a stylish and practical wine bag ideal for picnics, romantic beach dinners, and other alfresco occasions that require meals away from home. Despite being easily portable, this hard-wearing, adjustable wine tote is quite fancy, and, if you want your wine chilled, it also has room for an ice pack.

goTenna

Inspired by the disaster rescue and recovery operations following Hurricane Sandy,goTenna has been designed to keep Android or iOS devices connected even when there is no cellular service. Made of rugged materials, this pocket-sized two-way radio and antenna uses Bluetooth-LE to pair with a smartphone. This innovative technology allows users who possess the device to share messages and location info instantly within a range of up to 50 miles in ideal conditions.

Best Multisport GPS Watch

Combine style and adventure with the new Garmin Fenix 5, one of the best multisport outdoor watches on the market. Complete with a wide range of tracking capabilities, plus built-in GPS and smart notifications, this versatile, lightweight device has you covered whether you’re skiing in the Alps, swimming in the Med, of hiking off the beaten path in Nepal. Available in multiple models, with a selection of QuickFit interchangeable bands (in premium leather, metal, or silicone) to choose from.

Personalized Sand Imprint Flip Flops

Leave your thoughts in the sand with these fun, original, and affordable sandals by FlipSidez. All you have to do is choose your size and color, add a creative text or symbol, and wait for your made-to-order flip flops to be delivered. You can wear them as a cool beach accessory that will cheer up your friends, give them as a personalized gift, or use them to express your individuality and send messages.

Credit Card Folding Utility Knife

With its sleek design and surgical blade technology with an extra long 65mm cutting edge, Cardsharp2 is indeed an excellent travel gadget. Ideal for explorers, adventurers, and any well-prepared traveler out there, this stylish 13-gram credit card folding knife is constructed from ultralight polypropylene, making for a sophisticated cooking knife, but also an extremely useful survivor tool when hiking or camping in the woods.

Solar-Powered Inflatable Light

If you’re looking for a smart and sustainable source of light for your next adventure, look no further than LuminAID. After 6-7 hours of charging in the sun, this innovative inflatable lamp produces up to 16 hours of LED light. Not to mention it’s portable, waterproof, and weighs around 56 grams.

Best Camping Hammock

Rated the best camping hammock in the world by American Survival Guide and many other leading magazines specialized in travel gear, the Blue Ridge Camping Hammock is essential if you want to experience the wilderness like a pro. Designed for difficult climates and terrain, this waterproof tent hammock made of ripstop nylon features a net canopy, and can also be used as bivy tent.

Wireless Portable Speaker

Allowing people to listen to music anytime, anywhere, a portable speaker is a must-have for any traveler who wants to make the most of the outdoors without compromising on any of the luxuries of the indoors. Featuring two 40mm speakers, a built-in microphone, and a 10-hour rechargeable battery, Scosche’s boomBOTTLE is one of the best in its category thanks to its remarkable mix of rugged waterproof construction and high-end audio.

Water Purifier Bottle

Most of travelers’ health problems are caused by contaminated drinking water, which means a water purification system is a must when traveling abroad. This is especially useful when venturing in remote locations with harsh environmental conditions or destinations such as the Middle East, Central America, Asia, or Africa, which are also known for their unsafe tap water. Fortunately, these days there are many products designed to help in such circumstances.

CamelBak All Clear, for instance, is a state-of-the-art device capable of transforming almost any tap or clear natural water source into pure drinking water in just 60 seconds. The 0.75-liter water purifier bottle is equipped with rechargeable lithium ion batteries and uses UV light to neutralize viruses and bacteria. Overall, this is an excellent way to save money on bottled water and get safe drinking water while on the go.

Ostrich Pillow

Ostrich Pillow is an extremely useful accessory for when you’re on the go and just need a quick nap to refresh and increase productivity. Envisioned by Kawamura-Ganjavian architecture and design studio, this groundbreaking product prevents jet lag – a common problem for long distance travelers – by providing you with a micro sleeping environment. Although it might seem a little weird, its design is fun and intuitive, featuring polystyrene filling and a soft interior that allows you to sleep anytime, anywhere without being distracted by noise, light, and other things going on around you.

Iron Man Charger

A unique Marvel-inspired gadget, the Iron Man Mark V Armor Suitcase Mobile Fuel Cell comes equipped with an outstanding 12,000 mAh battery capacity, helping you power your mobile devices on the go. The charger is compatible with most smartphones and any other USB-compatible gear, and its two USB ports allow you to charge two devices simultaneously. Bound to thrill any Iron Man fan, this cool gizmo is actually a 1/4 scale replica of the original suitcase that brings to life Tony Stark’s armor in Iron Man 2’s Grand Prix de Monaco race track scene.

Smartphone Breathalyzer

Compatible with iPhone and Android devices, the BACtrack Vio Smartphone Keychain Breathalyzer is a fun and affordable way to estimate your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC). The gizmo is shaped like a USB flash drive and connects to your smartphone via the free BACtrack app. Be aware though, this breathalyzer doesn’t have a professional-grade sensor integrated, so don’t use it to judge whether or not you are sober enough to drive.

[stupendousflowertastemaker]

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In the center of Market Square is the historical town hall from the nineteenth century that houses little museum event. A public resource (such as a web link on the agency's page) which includes information regarding how to attend/apply for the occasion and how you can use if interested parties could not attend the occasion. We make sure that you make one of the most out of your bus journey by collaborate with trusted bus firms from around the world such as Greyhound, Megabus, Eurolines, ALSA, iDBUS, National Express as well as lots of others. Weather information from atmospheric terminals are refined every hour, so it provides the possibility to provide the most accurate forecast, also hourly weather condition. A local man is intending on owning to Florida to assist families restore their residences after Irma, yet is asking the neighborhood for assistance. A firm must fulfill the general public notification needs of 5 CFR 362.203( a). 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The Podhale State Greater Vocational Institution (PPWSZ) has established participation with a number of companions in the region. Literally implies not, but is utilized by Gorale of Poland to refere to melodic idea of tune family.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW11

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

And if you missed it for subscribers Friday My Life episode just came out!

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WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

I'm on a save this week with CHO as a big problem as well as Pukki but no real straight swap seems good enough to make with zero doll hairs in the bank.

Will just sweat the Chelsea team sheet and hope the chips fall in a place that is kind to my fucks.

GK:

Pope (shu)

Pope been naturally pissing me off lately quite a bit. Discussed how annoying he is but Burnley have four good on paper fixtures so hopefully he will be able to get a few points in this run to rectify his standing.

Certainly doesn't feel like the long long term keeper we had all expected when we put him in the GW1 team. At least not to me.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (avl)

Still going with double barrel Livp fullbacks Trent and R0bbo.

Been absolutely dying for a clean and this weekend is as good as any for one to come in. Even though they have kept an extremely small shitty number of cleans so far they are still both in the top 5 defender point total and I fully expect them to finish 1-2 in that regard come seasons end assuming health.

Fixtures look good outside of the City game so maybe they'll go on a run of cleans.

Lundstram (BUR)

Alongside is Pointstram of course the legend. Great fixture, back at home, get in there ladstram.

MID:

Pretty straightforward quintet here.

Salah (avl) and Sterling and De Bruyne (SOU)

Mo/Raz/Kevin have been in for a while and will probably stay for a while.

Late twitter fuckery surrounding Mo possibly not having trained all week obviously isn't great but whatever fucking fuck it. Hopefully he is fine as Klopp has said he is. Or he's not and life is great.

Hudson-Odoi and Mount (wat)

Double Chelsea children CHO and Mount go to Twatty in what might be a tough game? Idk.

Twatford look so diabolical and horrendous it wouldn't surprise me to see them get put to the sword against a team with actual attacking quality.

They've been a tight ship recently though so who knows.

FWD:

Abraham (wat)

Same two Tammy and Pukki up top as I have had for the past fair bit.

Pukki (bha)

Really not sure how I keep tricking myself into thinking Pukki isn't a huge fucking massive issue but here I am.

Brighton look like an open game so praying to all hell that he pops up with a return. Just even an assist god bless I'd take it. Just do something you Finnish cuck.

CAP:

Sterling (SOU)

Easy Raz this weekend. Really nothing to discuss. He looks prime and ready to tit, home banker, rested midweek, blabhlabhalh. Get in there Razzybaby.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Aubameyang & Gunn

IN: Vardy & Gazzaniga

Alright so we’re making some progress here. Putting out some fires. Ok ok ok.

Still have CHO and still have Pukki which is BAaaaaddddd feeeeeelsssss baaaaaaaddddd. But it’s ok. At least Pukki will start and CHO hopefully will start should be fine to tide me over.

Next week maybe a hit to get rid of both we’ll see???

Anyway I’m terrified of Aubz hauling now that he’s free from my grasp but whatever he’s a bad pick and Arsenal are fucking bad... Vardy and Leicester are flying and have the fixtures... And as discussed on Friday My Life Gazz and the money just makes more sense for me and my future moves.

Need that $ in the bank to put out the next fires.

GK:

Gazzaniga (eve)

Alright GAZZZZZ.

Everton are Jekyll and Hyde but I feel like they usually score at home so I’m not really expecting a clean here but it’s certainly possible. Would be cool if Poch plays Vert over Davinson that would make it feel a lot better...

Either way hopefully the save points keep flowing and I can keep Gaz for a long time.

DEF:

Lundstram (BUR)

Lundy in a decent home fixture; we take those.

But don’t be tricked into thinking this is a banker. Burnley are good at attacking now, get with the times.

Tomori (wat)

Don’t love this away but really the way Watford are setup these days with essentially two “attackers” (no strikers) and mostly a super conservative bus the clean should be there for the taking really... Just don’t let them counter and don’t give them set pieces and Chelsea should coast to a clean... Easy right?

Söyüncü (cry)

Nice clean fixture for Soy.

Leicester should be able to strangle Palace to death in this one imo.

MID:

Salah (avl)

This ankle rumor shit is so fucking annoying.

Ugh just hoping he’s fine and shit. I’m already very anxious about it.

Sterling and De Bruyne (SOU)

Fantastic players, fantastic attacking team, home banker. Easyyyyy.

Hudson-Odoi (wat)

Give the boy a start Frank. Come on. Pleasaasasase???

This kid is a problem. Bad / unlucky timing that we brought him in when we did but here we are.

A problem for another GW.

FWD:

Vardy (cry)

Feels great to not have to type some bullshit for Aubz in this slot like I have been doing for weeks in a row now.

Vardy is fucking good and Leicester are good and here’s another good fixture.

Abraham (wat)

Tammy is a little bit off the boil now but really he’s still getting chances and he still looks good to me. He was beyond red hot at the start of the season this is just a normal thing.

Chelsea are still super good at attacking and he’s still nailed so get the fuck in there.

Pukki (bha)

I would take a two pointer at this point. Fucking Pukki AKA Mitrovic.

CAP:

Sterling (SOU)

Really really easy cap this week. Like I said on Friday My Life I don’t even hate a triple cap if you’re feeling it... Yeah yeah “everyone will be on him” but also don’t forget: 60.5% of teams in FPL don’t even own him.

Get the fuck in there Razzy.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: HOUSE OF KANE (ON WILDCARD)

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: WILDCARD

IN: WILDCARD

After a great start that found me peaking around 10k at GW9, I’m now on four big reds and hovering around 100k. Last week I tried to do the mature and steady thing, making no transfers after a disastrous GW 9 (rank 6m). I was *not* rewarded for my steadfast patience, so naturally I kneejerked my WC on Sunday afternoon.

Biggest issues I wanted to remedy were Ota, Pukki, Kun, Haller, maybe-injured Salah, not having TAA, and a worthless bench. Of course it feels bad wildcarding with two frees but here we are.

My general strategy in FPL is to get on the template as quickly as possible, ride it through the holidays, and then slowly and steadily start to spike differentials through the end of the season. The fact that my WC is very similar to the Slack Hivemind’s bodes well in that respect.

The team feels balanced and good for now.

GK:

Gazzaniga (eve)

It was between Ryan and Gazz and ultimately I went with Gazz because he’s cheaper, has better near-term fixtures, and even if Spurs can’t keep a clean, we now know that he can get 12 saves on a good/bad day.

Think he’s also nailed until 2020, being the clear second choice after Hu-god, not to mention that he *happens* to be from the same town as Poch (Murphy, Argentina - population 3,540).

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (avl)

Going Robbo over Trent to start the season was my biggest regret, so he was the first name in my WC squad.

Doubling with Robbo was easy, especially because I’m going without a Liverpool mid. Having these two gives me a chance at cleans and a steady trickle of offensive cover (if such a thing exists).

Lundstram (BUR)

I’ve had Lundstram since GW1 and he’s not going anywhere.

A nailed 4.0 DEF is a season-long keeper, regardless of team, and Lundy happens to be playing out of position *chefs kiss*. Going with him over Soy this week because it’s home and a better fixture than Palace.

MID:

Sterling and De Bruyne (SOU)

I’ve had Kev all season and he’s good. Barring injury, he’s not going anywhere this year.

I’ve somehow been without Sterling all season, and it’s finally Raz time. Very excited to be adding him when in-form and following a string of blanks.

Mount (wat)

Cheap attacking mid on a top 4 attacking team, easy set and forget.

Martial (bou)

I think the top things to look for in FPL are attacking < 5.0 defenders, a nailed 4.5 forward, and an out-of-position mid on a top team.

Gloves ticks that last box with an elite pedigree and unfulfilled promise to boot. Once Rom was shipped out, Tony became a must-own for me. I think Tony will be a captain option at some point this season.

FWD:

Vardy (cry)

Feels kinda bandwagon-y but an easy one to jump on while the team looks so good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... He’ll get his goals.

Abraham (wat)

Haven’t had him yet, glad to be here now. Chelsea attack is legit. Tammy is nailed up top. Let’s go.

Maupay (NOR)

My “fun spot” instead of [generic Leicester midfielder] as a fifth mid, I went with Maupay because every year Walsh picks some guy that no one is talking about, and I think it could be Neil.

The numbers are really good, Brighton looks decent, and I didn’t want to miss out on the best fixture of the season.

BENCH:

Söyüncü (cry)

I’ll be playing a 3-4-3 most weeks, with Soy as my first guy in. Cheap and on a good defense.

Rico (MUN)

< 4.5 defender on set pieces on a nominally-attacking side. Easy bench fodder.

Grealish (LIV)

Along with Maupay, Jack’s the other half of my “fun pick.”

When you watch AVL play he’s the guy with his calves on display, doing everything he can to earn a transfer to Man U in the next year or two.

I’m planning on rotating him with Maupay, which is a new strategy for me. Doesn’t feel great to have a ~6.0 guy on the bench every week, but with the fixture pile-up coming, it might be smart?

CAP:

Sterling (SOU)

I haven’t had him all season, I love him, and I finally get to root for him not to blank.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW6 - Alon Wildcard Edition

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

N/A

N/A

Dunno what I'm doing with my life so I will just save a transfer and reassess with two frees next GW. I'm sitting on 1m in the bank, but nothing really obvious is screaming out to me to do.

Couple that with the fact that I'm not in a good FPL place right now, so hopefully a new weekend of games will give me some new perspectives.

GK:

Pope (NOR)

Pope low key been a disaster. 1 clean in 5 is about as bad as you could go these days but with good fixtures still on the horizon am hoping for some points out of this fuck.

DEF:

Only three defenders in for me this weekend.

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (che)

Trent and Robbo go to Chelsea in a game I don't really expect to be competitive.

A clean feels unlikely but they are always good bets for attacking returns given how they have looked this year so far. No Mount, if he doesn't play, is kind of a big deal for Chelsea so I don't think a clean is completely out of the question to be fair. I'm still sorta kinda okay with holding these two in the medium term through some tough fixtures but we'll see.

Otamendi (WAT)

Otamendi has Watford at home and after the clean in Ukraine maybe him and Dinho are the answer. He's always a shout to gift a goal to the opposition so here's to hoping he doesn't howl on Saturday. He could still just be a really steady and fine pick despite the Norwich game fresh in our minds.

MID:

Salah (che) & Sterling & De Bruyne (WAT)

Still on the triumvirate Mo, Raz, Kevin anchoring the midfield.

Raz bit worrisome getting 90 midweek but otherwise these guys seem like good guys to have and to hold. Great fixture for City and they should score a few goals in that one.

McGinn (ars)

McGinn gets a stay of execution going to Arsenal this weekend.

He looked most likely to score for them against West Ham last game but he just feels very lightweight and bad.The low percentage shots he takes are a real concern and Villa seem to be turning into who we thought they would be preseason: a bad team who don't create chances.

I need to do something with him soon. Arsenal are proving to be a good attacking fixture, however, so at least he's not going to Liverpool or something.

Cantwell (bur)

Finally, Todd gets his second start for me in the second of many more to come. Pretty much all in on ToddyC being a start every week at this point. He enables a lot elsewhere and looks like he'll continue to be in and around points.

FWD:

Pukki (bur) & Haller (MUN)

Haller and Pukki up top still for me. Don't really need much to say about Pukki at this point.

Haller looked so good against Villa but the rest of his teammates did not. Tough fixture with United coming to town but I still believe in Haller and have no plans on shifting him out. As long as he's fit I believe he will return good value for his price.

CAP:

N/A

I don't know who I am capping yet four hours ahead of the deadline. I just wrote out three separate things, one for Raz, one for Mo, and one for Kevin and they all seemed bad and I want to die.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Wildcard

IN:  Wildcard

After many hours last night and this morning of excruciating tinkering here I am.

I’ve flopped my cock out on the table and said fuck it. All. Out. Attack.

GK:

Gunn (BOU)

Gunn seems like the best 4.5 guy to me for the long term play. Unfortunately don’t have 0.1 to get to Pope who is probably better especially with the fixtures but also I like Southampton and Ralph and Gunn more so it makes me a little happier anyway.

Home to Bournemouth isn’t an easy clean at all but the saves should come and a clean would not be unreasonable. Come on Saints.

DEF:

This gaggle of fuckwats that I have assembled at the back all rotate reasonably well to have three reasonable starters every week.

I know it’s diabolical but hopefully with this tough Liverpool run and City mess the two top dogs keep not cleaning and then this will be great... Most likely it’s dumb and fucking bad as usual for me but we’ll see I guess. Fuck it.

Lowton (NOR)

No Pope but I still have a share in Burnley cleans. The fixture run is long and great and while I don’t expect them to keep out Norwich I’m still probably starting Lowton every week for around 9 weeks at least.

Kelly (WOL)

It’d be cool if Kelly starts but he probably won’t.

Home Wolves is a great cleanable fixture is why I’m taking that risk but if he doesn’t play then Lundy boy will come in away Everton.

I went Kelly over Rico because once Lloyd Kelly is back Rico will no longer be starting... There’s a chance Kelly can get back in there at CB or take over for Ward at RB.

Diop (MUN)

I thiiiiink this is better then Lundstram away Everton?? Tough call but the bookies odds agree with me.

Man Utd. are one of the worst attacking teams in the league outside of penalties so I’m hoping that that trend continues and West Ham don’t concede a pen.

MID:

Salah (che), Sterling & De Bruyne (WAT)

The three amigos stick together through times of tribulation.

Nothing to say. Great players, two best teams, lots of points.

Cantwell (bur)

Love Todd. Said everything I needed to say on the pod but yes I’m hoping his bad and unsustainable stats take a big uptick with the much lighter run of fixtures, as they did in GW2. Todd is great.

FWD:

Agüero (WAT)

Yep I went with the big four.

There’s no other reason to go with an old school 3-4-3 with rotating 4.5 defenders unless you’re going big dick swinging at the top right???

So in my eyes I have the best four players in the game. Kun is my captain for a lot of this next run and then figure it out from there maybe downgrade him in a double switch to get Trent once Alisson is back or something. TBD.

Having Kun feels great. And having all the guys feels great.

He should fuck Watford.

Pukki (bur)

Teems is a legend. Just clock in, dong, clock out. Easy life.

Abraham (LIV)

Rough fixture this week - actually could see Giroud this week that would not surprise me at all - but Tammy just looks so ridiculously good and Chelsea have the fixture run to support it. I hope the numbers come up a bit from Tammy and he’ll fly.

BENCH:

Including bench this week so you get the full Wildcard experience.

Hayden (BHA)

Hayden under the radar has just been great. Played 90′ in every match and actually has a little bit of attacking intent creating two big chances. Not much more you can ask for from a 4.5 backup mid.

Lundstram (eve)

As I mentioned above I think that away Everton is a worse cleansheet fixture then home Man Utd. and the bookies agree so I’m not just being a biased fuck... Lundy is an easy auto pick on WC and he’ll likely autosub in for Kelly this week for me.

Söyüncü (TOT)

I mean if you thought I was going without the umlauts then you just don’t know me at all. One of few players I’ve had since GW1.

Leicester’s amazing run starts GW9 so just dodging Spurs and Liverpool and then Soy is pretty much good to go through GW17.

CAP:

Agüero (WAT)

I mean yeah duh kinda spoiled this already in the writeup.

Kun seems like both the best and safest cap for the week after getting rested in UCL. I expect a 3 or 4 to nil type of fuckfest and for Kun to be heavily involved. Let’s go.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: V AX

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Sterling, Greenwood

IN: Hayden, Agüero

Coming off a shitty week with 2 frees in hand, what else could I possibly do other than a sideways move?

I know that Raz is a season keeper, but after a full 90’ midweek and no rest over the international break, I’m switching over to Kun and hoping for some short-term gains.

Feels not great, not terrible.

GK:

Pope (NOR)

Already WC’d so Pope’s in for the long haul. Some save points is all I ask for in this one, don’t think Burnley keep Pukki & co out.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (che)

Robbo and Trent are both due a goal, and they could both bang against a leaky Chelsea defense. Pool is always a shout to clean but not feeling too confident.

Zinchenko (WAT)

City likely to clean with Dinho slotted in at CB and there’s no way I’m benching Zinch. Mendy got some minutes in Champions League so I’ll be sweating the team sheet this week.

MID:

Salah (che)

Mo goes again. He’s just insanely consistent and great.

De Bruyne (WAT)

Kevin is the best value pick in the game and insanely outperforming everyone in all the creativity stats – xA, big chances created and key passes per 90. Season keeper for sure.

Mount (LIV)

After contemplating disMounting since Tuesday, Mason stays in my team. Injury might keep him out this week, but I’ve got too much value built up and Chelsea have a sea of green fixtures after Pool.

Slotting him into my starting lineup and I’ve got Hayden coming off the bench home against Brighton if he isn’t fit.

Cantwell (bur)

The Todd begins his run of starts for my team. He’s just so cheap and the perfect enabler.

FWD:

Pukki (bur)

Two Norwich boys. Couldn’t have predicted it GW1, but here we are. Burnley should be going for it and I see Pukki banging in at least one.

Haller (MUN)

United’s defensive stats actually look good and West Ham were total shit on Monday at Villa so I have no idea what to expect out of Haller. He’s clearly class but I think he might be making way for Tammy next week.

Aguero (WAT)

Highest xG and shots per 90 in the league and rested midweek. Expecting greatness from Kun at the Etihad where we all know he thrives.

CAP:

Aguero (WAT)

After back to back Raz captaincy blanks, I had to go with Kun. Hat trick or the infinite sadness incoming.