#luckily I'm all alone in this corner of the internet!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Can I just talk about how much I love the wordplay of “Suburban Legends”???

The way that an urban legend is a story that’s been passed around so far and wide and often that it’s accepted as true (folklore, if you will) or at least believable or exciting enough to keep passing on from campfire to campfire.

And then in this song it’s suburban legends because the story’s been papered over, it’s become a cliche, a poor replica of the real thing. The (cool) urban legend of this hot, epic romance for the ages everyone would talk about forever has been replaced by the (all too familiar, devoid of authenticity) suburban legend of being toyed with and losing herself in a relationship that once again leads to heartache because they can’t be genuine with each other about what they actually want. It’s not a cool story; it’s pedestrian, it’s another blip in the radar of their young lives (just like the suburbs are the epitome of boring in pop culture, cookie-cutter and bland and forgettable and soulless, compared to the magic of the city where anything could happen and everyone wants to be in). It’s not an epic love story for the ages, they won’t be spoken of far and wide, they’re on the periphery of the real thing but never quite making it.

Her mind 🤌

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Post Coming Out Universe Masterlist

Better Off (ao3) - tellsfromhale

Summary: Dan's relationship with his family has been getting better, but when his mum drops the bomb that she's seeing someone and wants Dan to meet him, Dan doesn't know how to handle it.

Christmas with You (ao3) - plinth_of_life

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Christmas together as a couple, joining the Howell family for Christmas Eve in Wokingham.

Devilishly Endearing (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan and Phil are making a mess in Karen's kitchen, luckily for them, she thinks they are cute.

endings are like beginnings (ao3) - obsessivelymoody

Summary: Dan wakes up in the post-coming out universe.

from the starting line (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil visit Dan’s family for the first time in a post-coming out universe.

hey, brother (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: It’s time for Phil to reintroduce himself to Dan’s family in the proper context, but there’s one member that he’s not entirely confident about connecting with.

Homecoming (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Phil’s first Christmas with Dan’s family

I Want to Hold Your Hand (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: A minor incident/misunderstanding while traveling to IOM for Christmas leads Dan to reflect on boundaries and comfort levels in the post coming out universe.

i’ll meet you in the light (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil looks at the photo and sees them how he sees them in his own head, not them as their larger-than-life internet personas. It’s them, happy and at peace with their lives and who they are in 2019. And he suddenly has the strangest urge to share the photo, to show the world how damn happy he and Dan are, despite everything that’s happened in the past.

i'm ready now (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” -Billy, age 4 (2 of 2)

“I’m sorry if my apology isn’t good enough.” (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: “Pretty intolerant of you to be like that, son.” Dan’s dad’s voice is that cloying sort of smug it gets whenever he thinks he’s got someone cornered.

A fic about phone calls and harrowing journeys.

ice is slowly melting (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan's mum brings Colin on a visit.

just tell me how it's lookin' babe (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Jeff looks on, partly smug and partly in disgust at the way Dan’s sucking on Phil's ear now, and across his jaw.

“Mm,” Dan rumbles. “You taste so good, Phil.”

(Or, dealing with your ex-bullies the right way.)

Lighter Than Air (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan and Phil are sappy drunks and they're heading home together.

little comfort card (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

Merry and Bright (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Dan and Phil host their first Christmas

Nana (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: “The thing is, coming out to his family proved to be the easy part. It’s what followed that’s been difficult, more emotionally draining, more vulnerable. It’s like the invisible wall that’s been between them now has physical form. It has a name now.“

On The Road (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil still isn’t quite used to it all being okay. He isn’t used to Dan not fearfully dissecting a tweet reply that called them queer icons. He isn’t used to things like what the two teenagers they bumped into at the airport said when they stuttered out, “I met my girlfriend because of you,” feeling only good. No twinge of bittersweet.

A fic about changes and landscape.

reconnect (ao3) - Rawritsamehh

Summary: Dan reconnects with his mother after a very big email.

Safe (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Phil is in a mood and works his way through it with a naked Dan.

Safe Place (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island.

sense of home (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: dan and phil spend christmas together for the first time.

slow days, fast company (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil return to Portugal in 2019.

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

stop speak support (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats.

Uncle Dan (ao3) - Ragopamplina

Summary: Dan is a Lester. He knows it, but still, he enjoys little reminders.

When Jokes Go Too Far (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: "i hate men but i want them to touch me"

- actual Dan on twitter

[rosejacksongallery]

Tribute to Akira Toriyama: Writer’s Block Blog Cafe Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to my corner of the internet, I'm Lex and this my blog covering media topics ranging from animation, comics, games and more. today I wanted to write about a subject personal to me as an aspiring artist.

Two nights ago, I was scrolling on the internet when I heard the news of Akira Toriyama’s passing at the age of 68, which felt like a shock. He was an influential manga creator and character designer for a plethora of RPG games, but I was most familiar with his manga series, Dragon Ball Z. For anyone unfamiliar, that is actually the sequel series to the 1984 Dragon Ball, following the story of the titular Son Goku and adventures to find the ancient dragon balls, a magical item that can summon an ancient dragon granting users their wildest wishes. My bad summary alone is nowhere near enough to encapsulate what an incredible and influential action-packed story Dragon Ball and its more popular sequel truly are (how hard it is for me to express that through words). Although this is my very first blog and was originally saving a portion of this script for a post on my anime/manga experience, I'll never get an opportunity to actually write something this raw to me if I leave it to the corners of my mind. 

I want to share how I got into manga and how much Dragon Ball Z means to me. It was the 2nd manga that I ever read at the time, but also the 1st anime I actively tuned into and paid attention to the storyline. Before I continue, I want to get into how I even discovered both mediums, as they tie directly to my DBZ experience. It’s not easy pinpointing all of the exact moments where I discovered manga or anime. Luckily, I still recollect certain memories that still lingered to this day. Right across from my family’s favorite coffee shop, we had a section dedicated to Chapters where I usually stuck to the kids book sections. However, I would venture once in a while to the teen shelves to check out what literary work was offered. From an extremely early age, before I was even introduced to the concept of manga, I recall observing the comic covers with great fascination, wondering what kind of stories were contained there. Despite the curiosity, I would only briefly glance at them, but never actually bother to read them. The only exposure I had to the comic medium was at Chapters or at my local library, where I was slowly getting into read graphic novels such as Bone, Knights of the Lunch Tables, the Sonic Archie Comics, or library approved comics that involved mystery and even an imitation manga series that involved math(Manga Math Mysteries)? I even read stuff like Redwall of all things which was surprisingly gruesome itself, but maybe I’ll save that for another story.

It wasn’t until I was 8 or 9 where I actually read my first manga, Happy Happy Clover, in my library. It was a fairly simple kids' comic about a bunny rabbit and her animal friends getting into silly, cute, shenanigans. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and I read a majority of the volumes, despite my confusion with its reading system. Although I had not read the comics completely in order, this series had more loose, episodic stories compared to a majority of manga/anime now. Personally, it was as good of an introduction to manga as it could be, only to be blown away three years later by my first anime. 

One day, I recall coming across the Vortexx block on the CW network when browsing for cartoons to watch on TV. By that time, I'd long since stopped watching Treehouse and PBS and lost interest in some of Teletoons’ broadcasting aside from superhero shows. That channel was how I rediscovered Dragon Ball Z and proceeded to secretly watched almost every Saturday morning. Prior to watching, I discovered the first volume of the manga in grade 4. I didn’t think much of it other than how awesome it was. The art was detailed, but with some stylistic qualities that I’ve never seen before and it had tons of beautifully-illustrated action, which fit into my superhero phase at the time. I thought of how cool it would look animated, envisioning it with Disney level 24fps animation (oh, how my imagination ran too wild). When I actually watched the show however, it felt a bit anticlimactic with how it was animated. At the time, any cartoon that wasn't smooth enough or anything choppy looking like Rocky and Bullwinkle or Flintstones, it was an instant drop. DBZ still had animation, but it felt choppier than what I was used to, yet the art itself still looked exactly like from the comic and that kept me watching surprisingly. Admittedly, I eventually grew to appreciate shows with slower frame rates and marvel at their beauty on its own, cause it certainly isn't easy putting such detail into motion unless its a movie that had time and budget to pull it off.

Regardless of such petty nitpicking, I had never seen a show like this before and got me hooked. Although I had a small understanding of what it was about, I understood that it was a fantasy fighting show with some of the buffest, most badass looking dudes that I’ve ever seen, ready to fight for what's right. The rough drawings and rugged appearance of the male characters made Superman and Batman look clean and pretty in comparison. Even the girls and the kids in that series look like they could snap someone like a twig in a heartbeat. The villain looked absolutely terrifying, this tall, unworldly looking figure almost resembling an insect appeared to kill people without a second thought, immediately coming off as this threat that needed to be eliminated without hesitation. Unbenounced to me, I was actually watching the show out of order, starting with the cell saga. On top of that, I later discovered it was a sequel series, which confused me even more. A lot of context had been heavily missed since I had no idea what an overarching story was, but that hadn’t taken away the experience from me until I found out later on. Needless to say, I was ready for more . . . until the Vortexx block was unceremoniously canceled right in the middle of the last episode before the Buu saga! I could be wrong, but I recall it being cut to some news and I felt so cheated!

Dragon Ball Z in particular made such an impression to me that its amongst the main motivators that got me not only into illustration, but also fanworks (albeit a little embarrassing today since I was 11 or 12 when drawing/writing my fanfiction ideas). Dragon Ball Z to this day still reigns in my top 100 anime of all time, but since it has been years since I watched the whole thing in order, I'm looking forward to rewatching once again this spring(And hope to check out Dragon Ball too). It's that perfect blend of action and adventure that I always geared towards. It didn't matter that I wasn't anywhere near as buff as Goku or Gohan to name a few, cause everyone had their charm. Even characters like Chi-Chi or Vegeta I didn't outright hate, although some of their actions did frustrate me at times(But I'll never get the hatred Yamcha had by the fanbase!) As flawed as some characters could be, I admired the perseverance of characters like Goku, Piccolo, amongst many other memorable characters. My favorite ones are Gohan and Mirai Trunks, as they had a level of complexity to their character arcs that really resonated with me, especially moments where the odds are against them and all seems hopeless. Sure, we can’t necessarily time-travel in order to save the past and future, but even attempting to save what we have now is a message I think people my generation and younger need to hear once more. 

If anyone wants more context to Akira Toriyama's works and his impact, I will recommend a few Youtube videos underneath this review that better explains the appeal and influence of his works for the past 40+ years.

Akira Toriyama was a crucial influence to so many viewers, writers, and artists alike, and it brings me joy that people still appreciate his work to this day. It is both incredible yet heartbreaking to read many people’s comments on how much he and his work meant, especially those closest to him. One Piece is another manga I hold in very high regard, and reading Oda’s letter reacting to the situation had my heart feeling heavy. I can’t envision how someone can comprehend the magnitude of their cultural contribution, but I really hope he was proud of it, because it has been truly deserved. Toriyama’s work has helped shape me as the artist I want to become and hope to be someday, and I know that part will never die.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your creative vision, and may your soul rest well.

-Lex

[mochikeiji]

Mishap Aroma

↠ Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

↠ Warning:tw: perverted person/anxiety attacks, astraphobia slight angst, fluffy fluff with my man.

↬ Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Even the baddest day, week, month or year can have the most sweetest taste of goodness by the end. Especially with the person you love and would scare all of these bad aura away.

⇢ Day 4: CoffeeShop AU

Misfortune— it happens at an unexpected time, event, and place. Whether you find yourself having a good day or moment or already in a tight spot, that bastard comes right in to double the penetration to your problems.

For instance, you were just finishing up your daily chores such as going to the grocery to fill in your empty fridge back home. It was all fine, there weren't much people, the line was short, the cashier was kind and patient as you counted your coins frantically. It was all fine.

And then the weather decided to be a bitch.

It started as a hot sunny day and suddenly as afternoon light peaks in the midst of your way home it started to pour. You didn't mind at first and luckily came in prepared with an umbrella and walked while humming a tune in your head peacefully. It was all alright, enjoying the cold weather and water spraying on your face like a child, that was until clouds started clashing to one another, delivering a loud roar from above that made your feet tumble a little on the ground.

You hated it.

On the corner of a building you ran and knelt down, one hand on your dominant ear, the one that was more sensitive to sound and the other having to deal with your shoulder pathetically protecting it. You searched desperately inside your bag, looking for that clear case of your that held two earplugs your mother had given you from her father. But none, you could've sworn you had two pairs of those. One for travel and one for home.

"Ah fuck, I broke them last month."

Raining season was occuring, of course you were using those earplugs before and more often. But the more it stretched when you pulled it out from your ear, it sadly broke. And the ones that were strong and still in good piece were at home. 

The pounding from your heart didn't stop with your knees wobbling from your poor position and fear. Getting home was a bit hard with the down pour. Worse was the flashing lights above and the roars of thunder. You'd be down on your knees and you wouldn't even be close home.

You panted a bit, flinching ever so suddenly at the rain ever second, predicting the possibility of a next round of thunder. Keeping your head lowered, you saw your bag lit up brightly inside. Hope flickered inside of you a little when you fished it out quickly and saw the ID message.

Akaashi:

Are you okay?

Where are you?

Do you have your earplugs?

3:33 PM

You teared up a bit in fear and touched by his concern. You only had a few people understand this phobia of yours. Some may say it was childish to fear a simple weather, that was messed up and still made you self conscious. But you were happy and comforted to have your lover tend to this fear of yours. He would always call you if ever and play a tune in the background loudly to distract you and spam you with messages.

You:

I went out to pick groceries.

I don't have.

I'm far.

3:37 PM

You screamed, but was muffled by the flash of lightning and stomping thunder. You knew your messages had few contexts, but you couldn't anymore. After counting a few seconds, you thanked yourself you only had a few things from the store and picked it up and began sprinting in the rain. Not caring how soaked you were getting and how people just stared at you in worry. You ran, praying to reach home. But even so, there were small rumbles above and it still shakens you.

Eventually, you reached a near cafe that had stairs below. It was that cafe where Akaashi and you would study back in the days when you both were in your third years in high school. It looked small since it was placed below, (like the mclarens pub) but the interior was pleasing and welcoming.

You grabbed on the railings of the stairs and carefully but quickly went down, entering the door with the small bell ringing from above. The air condition blasting throughout the cafe, your dhirt beginning to stick to your skin as you hugged your chest with one arm and hunched a bit to look like you were just freezing. Atleast the counter was empty, must be behind the other door preparing. Not many people bothered to look at the door which gave you opportunity to run to your usual spot. Beaming a little at the sight if it being empty and sat down, placing the grocery bag on the table along with your bag and sighing.

The rumbles can be heard, but not as loud as it was outside. Thighs pressed together close and arms wrapping around your cold body, you decided to wait until everything was clear. Even if it meant getting sick and looking disheveled on the corner.

This was yours and Akaashi's personal spot during study sessions. Even dating, this was where you'd celebrate occasionally. It was no surprise some of the employees knew you two, but apparently it seemed majority of them were out and the newbies were on duty. They would sometimes tease you when you would wait alone in your seat, or even Akaashi. Saying how adorable the two of you were and offering discounts during events like birthdays or anniversaries. They even got both your phone numbers and became close friends.

It was no surprise to have your body shivering in seconds despite distracting yourself with warm memories. You mentally cringed when you felt the eyes of a disgusting predator just a few tables in front of you rake through your soaked chest whilst hiding his smug expression behind his steaming hot beverage. It's only a matter of time that guy will walk up to you and have his way to your body with the few people around you who had their own worlds and the counter still empty.

The skies cracking sounds can be heard, louder than the rest of the thunders you've heard a while ago and made you yelp. The lights thag hung on the ceiling of the cafe flickered and buzzed as you tried to shell yourself away from everything when the lurk of anxiety crept in your chest.

Your whimpers were silent, and only you can hear them. The tears were slowly making their way to your eyes followed by the warmth and soft, dried clothing being placed on your shoulders and your left side being occupied by a larger body.

"I figured you'd be here."

Gasping and recognizing that gentle voice, immediately snuggling your soaked form on his dried and heated body, Akaashi snakes his arms around you with his hand cradling your neck along with soft hushes to soothe you.

"T-there was a m-man staring at me.."

His hold tightens, he instantly knew which one was bothering you from being obvious and casts him a dirty glare. Disgusting, he thought inside of his head, not breaking the stare down until the guy eventually gulped from the stoic male a few feet away and left the place.

He hears you whimper on his chest and moved his hand to your back, giving it occasional pats to tell you that it was okay and rubbing to tell you he was here now. You weep on his chest from both relief and embarrassment. Today had been quite tough and now the rumbles outside can be somewhat heard now.

You feel Akaashi's arm move but you didn't bother to loom at it thinking he was just moving it around for a good position. He doesn't mind the fact that you were soaking wet on his side, at that moment he needed to tend to your needs. He didn't want to be like other people to leave you hanging like this. You hear him cooe like you were a baby in his arms and just gave you warm hugs.

"It's okay, you're okay. I promise everything will be okay."

He knows the comforting lines you needed and what you did not wish to hear. He was cautious with his words seeing from the internet reminders how people don't like simple closed minded term or words given to them. He was sincere with his, and wasn't just something to comfort you temporarily.

The table in front of you both made a small thud sound. Blinking your tears away, you hear a small whisper from someone else and Akaashi's head nodding on top of yours. Raising your head a little, Akaashi looks down and presses a kiss on your forehead and smiles at you.

"I bought your favorite."

Your nose sniffles a bit from clogging that was now heated by the steam of your hot beverage, turning away from his chest, you saw your once empty table now occupied with two hot beverages and sweet chocolate chip cookies.

"You love these right? It's been long since we've gotten down here on such occasions."

It was true with him almost being gone 24/7 due to his work and you mostly taking care of the necessities when he was away, there wasn't enough time of weeks or even months to spend the day with him. It was a blessing in disguise that a bad day can make the two of you come back to the nostalgic place once again and finally have that moment where it was just the both of you.

"Wait, didn't you have work today?"

Akaashi took a note of your dampened features and placed a hand on your cheek to wipe away the tears softly.

"I told my co workers that I needed to head home immediately when I heard a loud thunder."

Looking back down then at the table filled with untouched food, you began to feel guilty to be having to pull him down from his work. You didn't expect him to actually run out of his office just to tend to your fears and comfort you. You felt like a child next to him— a spoiled one.

"I'm sorry..I'll pay you back."

He feels you try to pull away from his embrace, but as coincidence strikes again, a loud crack was heard from above, yet you still try to pull away from his hold even though you were obviously shaking in fear. He wasn't going to have this, instead of letting you go free, he yanks you back to his chest with a small sound escaping your lips from the impact and his hand firmly placed on your back.

"No you're not, I know what you're thinking and no, none of this is on you, love."

Always been quite the observer, you thought as you fought back the tingling smile on your face. You wondered how can a guy like him exist in this world and how you even managed yo make him yours and you his. Not a single negative feeling goes unnoticed by him everyday even if he was occupied by his own work and needs, he would always be looking after whats more important.

"I love you, hm? It's only natural I tend to the person I love. I'd be an ass if I just left you after what you've gave me throughout the years. It's a give-give relationship, sweetie. I just want you happy and safe."

Eyes held the most sincere look in them. You thanked the heavens and his parents for making such a beautiful human. His hands started to move around your body a bit to make you turn back around to your now warm treats. Even though you were slightly soaking, he held you none the less on his lap and presses a kiss on your cheek as you grabbed your own beverage.

It's not everyday Akaashi has gotten an opportunity to commence PDA, but there weren't much people other than the smiling woman by the counter who had given him his order. She thought it was adorable seeing you both a minute ago during comforting you.

Munching on the cookie, Akaashi took a sip on his coffee with his free hand rubbing your belly instinctively. He's grown a habit of rubbing any part of your body he can touch, knowing how you loved the skin to skin affection. The same implies to him as he secretly smiles through his cup when he feels your stomach grumble.

The day may have been bad, unexpected. But more on unexpectedly good in the end. You always believed that after a bad day, there was always going to be good. But not a day, either a week of goodness or a month. Because after sharing this day with him, the next day he had announced he was given a week off after finishing a lot of his projects.

But for now, you snuggled deeper in his hold as you blew your drink, looking up carefully to place a kiss on his jaw that made his heart flutter and him stop chewing on his own food.

A little caffeine tastes sweeter after a mishap.

[evanoracronwell]

Sunrise

Malex Cupid 2021 by @malex-cupid​

Day 3: “Do you know what today is?”

Also on ao3

__________________________________________________________

It is the sound of the phone ringing that awakens him.

With a grunt, he rolls over the bed until he reaches the nightstand and picks up the device, when he sees the notification on the screen the smile opens on his lips, and any irritation at being woken up disappears.

I'm already on my way home.

I can't wait to see you.

Love you.

Alex.

Alex, his beautiful and irresistible boyfriend.

And fuck if Michael would ever get tired of that word.

Smiling like a teenager, Michael answered the message, and as soon as he pressed to send he heard the growl coming from his feet on the bed. Wrinkling his nose, he looked at the beagle spread on the bed with his face completely mashed from sleeping.

"What is it, girl? It's not that early, it was almost time to get up anyway. We have a lot of things to take care of today"

With an excitement that made Buffy snort indignantly, Michael got out of bed and goes straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower and finish waking up.

Today was a very important day.

It was the first Valentine's Day that he and Alex would spend together, as a couple.

And well, honestly speaking, it was the first Valentine's Day that Michael would celebrate at all. He had no idea how to make it work. But it had to be perfect.

Because Alex deserved nothing but perfection.

So he changed his clothes and get ready to start the day.

He took Buffy for a walk even though the dog was clearly outraged about getting out of bed so early on Sunday morning.

He cleaned the whole cabin, feeling extremely proud of the home he built with Alex.

Now completely renovated, the cabin barely resembled that house that Alex had inherited from old Jim.

The couple's bedroom had been painted a light color, the bed replaced by a king bed, the wardrobe custom-made by Michael himself. The chair in the corner where Buffy always took refuge to sleep when she wasn't in bed with them.

The bathroom had been enlarged and adapted to Alex's needs, the treat they had done to themselves by buying a hot tub, and that they spent hours and hours in the water relaxing after a tiring day.

The living room now has a huge and comfortable sofa, armchairs and a television.

The kitchen had been renovated and modernized.

Everything was so perfect, so ... theirs.

The photos were scattered around the rooms. Showing captured moments of happiness between him, Alex, and the whole gang.

After so many years, Michael finally had a home to call his own.

And most importantly, a home with Alex. What made it even more special

With the house clean it was Buffy's turn to face the terrible shower, and the cowboy could only laugh while the dog whimpered as if she were suffering the worst torture at the hand of one of her fathers. But there she was, bathed and smelling the baby scent of the products they bought at the pet store, and with a pretty red bow that Isobel had made to buy for the dog.

And that was exactly why today had to be just perfect.

Because after eight months of living together, he would finally ask the hand of that beautiful man in marriage.

"Okay girl, now you behave yourself because Dad needs to go out and buy things to make dinner. Your daddy will be here tonight." He smiled when he saw how Buffy immediately reacted to Alex's mention. "That's right, girl, he'll be back today."

Michael had also changed a lot, months ago he had opened his own mechanical garage after old Sander decided to retire, the place had undergone a major renovation and was nowhere near the old Junkyard. Michael even had employees working with him, well ... just two kids that Michael was still training and teaching everything. But they were good kids and above all, hardworking, and after all, Michael never even imagined that he would have his own business.

As he drove to the market downtown, Michael found himself thinking about how much life had changed.

After Alex finally left the air force, he got a job at a private security company in Washington, but luckily he could work remotely, they paid extremely well and it made the job too perfect for Alex to turn down, so now taking the few trips he took to personally attend a few customers, Alex was always at home.

When parking the truck in front of the market, the cowboy smiled when he saw his sister standing at the front door waiting for him.

"You know when I said I was coming to the market when you called me, it wasn't an invitation for you to join me." Michael grunted, rolling his eyes as he grabbed a shopping cart and Isobel joined him in the aisles.

"Please, as if you could keep me away. Now tell me, how are the preparations for the big night?"

"I already cleaned the whole cabin and bathed Buffy and yes, I put on the bow you brought her yesterday."

"Great, my niece has to be beautiful. The candles?"

"I have already spread some of those aromatic candles around the house, I will light them as soon as I hear his car pull over. The delivery man left the flowers for me just before I left the house, they are already in the water and I will finish fixing them when I return home."

"Your clothes?"

"Washed and ironed."

"The ring?"

"On my nightstand."

"Your heart?"

"Coming out from my mouth."

Isobel laughed out loud at her brother's terrified look and hugged him around the waist, laying her head on his shoulder as she watched Michael go putting all the items in the cart.

"Michael, he loves you. Nothing is going to go wrong tonight, trust me. He will say yes. There is no couple in the world more perfect for each other than the two of you."

"We really are perfect together, aren't we?"

Isobel laughed again at her brother's silly passionate look, but she still agreed, because in fact there was no couple more in love and more perfect for each other than Michael and Alex.

"So, what's the menu going to be?"

The small box in his trouser pocket seemed to weigh a ton, making Michael's nervousness increase by the second.

Well, it turns out that cooking seems a lot easier in the videos he had seen on the internet than in practice. Not that Michael was not a good cook, he was, but he understood a lot more about cooking typical daily foods, yet he couldn't deny that he did an excellent job.

A few hours later and he had a perfect gorgonzola risotto, a rare grilled steak with a sauce of herbs and vegetables sautéed in butter. The table was already prepared with candles and a flower arrangement, beautiful, but small so that it wouldn't disturb them to look each other in the eye.

With a shower already taken and perfumed Michael looked in the mirror, that was not the kind of clothes he used to wear, dark gray trousers and a light blue shirt, but it was worth it, especially when he knew how turned on gets seeing him like that.

Perfect.

Tonight had to be perfect.

When Alex parked in front of the cabin all he could think about was how much he missed Michael, after four days away, all he wanted to hug his boyfriend and get into the hot tub for hours.

Upon opening the door, however, Alex felt his heart skip a beat.

"Do you know what today is?”

The room was lit only by two lamps that barely gave any light, leaving the rest of the lighting responsible for some candles. And flowers, white roses because Michael knew it was Alex's favorite, scattered as buds and petals everywhere. And right there, in the middle of the room, the most beautiful of all men.

Michael looked at him with a smile on his lips and his eyes were already watering.

"Michael ...?" Alex asked confused but thrilled as he dropped his backpack at the entrance to the cabin and took a step closer to Michael.

"It's Valentine's Day Alex, our first Valentine's Day together. And I've spent a lifetime wishing for this day, but never really believing that it could truly happen. Thirteen years ago you gave me a place to spend the cold nights, a guitar, and one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen in my life. " Michael started talking, staring at Alex, who was still a little confused, walking towards his boyfriend until he stopped in front of him. "You showed me that there was good in people and that there was a place for me here, on Roswell. On this planet. You gave me hope, Alex, hope that I could be happy, hope that there was more to people than just cruelty and second intentions. You taught me what it is to love and be loved in such a pure and intense way that it stayed with me, saved in my heart for more than a decade. Nurturing and comforting me every time I felt alone and lost. "

The cowboy smiled and touched Alex's face, who was looking at him so beautifully, his eyes already wet and shedding silent tears, both of them barely moving in fear of breaking that moment so sublime. Michael, speaking in a whisper as if he was afraid to wake up from that dream he felt he was living.

"There hasn't been a single day in my life that I haven't missed you, that I haven't thought of you, and most of all, that I haven't loved you. I'm yours, Alex, totally and completely yours, body, soul, and heart. I am yours to do anything you want. I always have been and will continue to be until my last breath, and beyond that too. I waited more than a decade to finally have you in my arms, and here we are living a life that I never even dared to dream of being possible. But we're here, celebrating our first Valentine's Day together. But I want more. "

With a beautiful smile, Michael took the box out of his pocket and saw how Alex immediately choked and sobbed as Michael went down on one knee showing him a beautiful and delicate silver band.

"I want to celebrate every Valentine's day with you, I want to start a family and see kids running around in our backyard, I want to adopt more dogs, I want to grow old by your side Alex. So please, could you make me the happiest man in the world and accept being my husband?"

Feeling completely overwhelmed with all the emotions he felt at that moment, Alex felt unable to even breathe for a few seconds while looking at Michael.

The beautiful and irresistible, Michael.

The eternal love of his life, Michael.

Kneeling at his feet asking Alex to be his forever.

"There is nothing in this world that I want more than to be your husband."

It was Buffy's bark that woke him, the small, plump beagle was lying on the sofa and Alex laughed when he saw her adorned with a red bow with the words "be my valentine" in white. Looking back at the man kneeling in front of him, Alex smiled so delighted and in love that Michael didn't even dare to blink for fear of losing that vision.

Alex never thought it possible to love that man more than he already did, but here was Michael proving him wrong.

Alex answered in a hoarse and choked voice and then threw himself into Michael's arms causing them to fall on the carpet in the middle of the room, between tears and laughter they kissed in love while Buffy barked and mumbled as if she were also celebrating the news.

"I love you, Michael." Alex murmured against Michael's already red and swollen lips after exchanging long, passionate kisses.

"I love you, too, Alex."

When the next day dawned, Michael grunted when he felt the light coming through the window waking him up. But the sigh coming from the man between his arms made him open his eyes and smile.

Last night had been perfect, much more than he had imagined.

Alex had accepted his proposal, they had eaten dinner while talking and listening to the soft melody that Michael had selected to play, and then they had spent a long time immersed in the hot tub where Michael sank into Alex's body, loving every bit of skin that he could touch. Only later, they went to bed and it was the cowboy's turn to ride Alex passionately, taking all the beautiful moans out of that mouth that he loved to kiss.

Now, holding the most important person in his life in his arms, Michael sighed contentedly as he brought his body closer to Alex, wrapping him tighter in his arms, and then smiled seeing the ring adorning that beautiful man's finger.

Alex, his fiance.

Alex, his future husband.

Yes, Michael smiled feeling his heart overflowing with love and happiness.

He smiled feeling the warmth of a new sunrise touching his skin and bringing all the promise of a long and happy life with Alex

Life couldn't be more perfect.

[pale-silver-comb]

Hi. I love your blog and all the little headcannons (canon?) you do. I also noticed you're amazing for writing little stories for people who are having a tough time. Would it be too much to ask if I could have one? I'm suffering from a bout of depression/insomnia and I'm running on about 4 hours sleep in about 3 days. What do you think of Derek or Stiles getting insomnia from all the stuff they've seen and the other just cuddling them through it? Trying to stay awake so they're not alone?

Hey, sweetheart. The depression/insomnia combo is horrible. I don’t know if it will work for you but earlier this year I stumbled upon ASMR videos. I know some people find them weird but they really helped me when it came to getting to sleep. In the mean time, I hope this little fic does something to help. 

Stiles thought being able to sleep after the Nogitsune had been the universe’s way of balancing out the good and bad in his life: get possessed by a psychotic Japanese fox but sleep like a baby every night after. As it turned out, being able to sleep after a spirit uses your body to murder a bunch of people came down to the fact Stiles hadn’t had a break since finding Laura Hale’s body that night in the woods.   

He believed joining the academy would be a fresh start, and in many ways it was. He just didn’t count on the fact that now he didn’t have pure evil trying to kill him at every waking moment that his brain would finally find time to process it. Stiles had always been a fan of ignoring his problems until they eventually, just, go away; watching his friends die, looking down at his own body and knowing it wasn’t really his but the cardboard cutout left behind by the Nogitsune, the memory of watching Derek almost -

He assumed - stupidly - that he had been successful in that particular endeavour. As long as he had his pillow, he was fine. You’re going to be fine. That was what the faceless people of the internet said. Stiles didn’t think “fine” was ever going to be an option for him but he guessed hope was a nice sentiment. 

“Insomnia,” Scott said, repeating the word back to him. Stiles could practically hear the concern, loud and clear, ringing through the phone. It instantly made him feel worse. Heaving a sigh, he scrubbed a tired hand down his face. Maybe he shouldn’t have called.  

“Yes, insomnia.”

Scott was quiet for several seconds.  “Do you have your pillow?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Stiles answered. He was currently clutching it to his chest, sprawled out on his bedroom floor. It was 3am, the floor was hard, and if he didn’t get some sleep soon he was going to start crying; the kind of crying he hadn’t done since he was a kid and his mom took ill. 

“What about drugs?” Scott suggested. “I could ask my mom-”

“No drugs, Scott.”

“But-”

“I said no drugs, Scott.” 

The line went quiet again and Stiles felt his eyes begin to sting. This was a mistake.

“Sorry, man, I have to go.” 

He hung up before Scott could respond, deciding he could feel guilty about it later.

~

At the academy, he was on auto-pilot. Luckily, Stiles had come up with some of his best plans during the last four years on little-to-no sleep, so it wasn’t overly obvious to his fellow agents-in-training that he needed several cups on coffee just to get through the day.

It was obvious to someone though. Someone who clearly thought it was their sworn duty to haul Stiles over their shoulder in the middle of his third run to the coffee shop that day and deposit him in the back of their car. 

Stiles wanted to protest - he should protest, call for help, maybe? - but he had had his eyes closed when the stranger grabbed him, had been drooling on a statue, leaning against it for moral support, as he had waited for his order.

Plus, the stranger’s arms felt nice. 

In the back of his mind, Stiles couldn’t decide if thinking a stranger’s arms felt nice during a potential kidnapping - fuck, please don’t let it be a supernatural kidnapping - was because of his sleep deprived state or if that was just the way he was wired now. 

It was only when a door opened and a familiar pair of eyebrows slid into the driver’s seat did Stiles begin to laugh. Hysterically. 

“Of course,” he said, shaking his head and pressing his lips against the cool leather interior. Familiar hands strapped him into the his seat. “Of course it’s you, big guy.”

Derek just gave a slight huff and muttered something Stiles couldn’t hear, but it sounded an awful lot like, yeah, I missed you, too. 

Stiles laughed again. It was crazy, what your mind came up with when it wasn’t functioning properly. 

~

Stiles didn’t sleep on the way to….wherever Derek was driving them, but he also wasn’t present enough to argue when Derek lifted him out of the car and carried him up several flights of stairs. 

“Hey, dude,” Stiles slurred, suddenly very, very comfortable. He wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck and nuzzled into the power of The Scruff. He wasn’t ashamed to admit he had thought about nuzzling Derek’s beard more than once. “Where have you been?” He yawned, nuzzled in further. “Also, you’re a fucking built teady bear, did you know that?” 

Derek stopped at a door - hopefully is own - and manoeuvred Stiles until he took the hint and wrapped his legs around Derek’s waist. It wasn’t as good a position but Stiles would take it, shooting finger guns behind Derek’s back as he heard the sound of keys jingling. It was definitely his apartment then. What a good sourwolf. 

“Were you getting better?” he asked, when Derek didn’t answer. He yawned again and tried to muffle the sound against Derek’s neck. “Man, I hope you were. Hope you got a bunch of nice friends and a barbecue. I always thought you’d look good with a barbecue. I’m going to be in law enforcement. How crazy is that? I’m finally going to get a gun.” 

Derek snorted but it was the kind of sort that could also be construed as fond. Stiles didn’t know why, but it made something in his stomach ache, just a little.

Man, he was tired. 

“I got better, Stiles,” Derek whispered, carrying him inside…..somewhere that was much nicer than Derek’s old loft and definitely nicer than that train depot. Stiles shuddered at the memory of it. He could only make out a couch and a rug so far, his eyes felt so heavy, but it was a bright couch and rug: blue and orange, respectively. Stiles grinned. Derek was a secret Mets fan, he knew it. 

Derek snorted again and muttered something about Stiles having poor taste in baseball. 

Stiles was about to say something, because excuse you, but Derek beat him to it.

“Shhh,” he said, entering another room. A bedroom. It was huge with a massive window. In the corner was the biggest book case Stiles had ever seen. “It’s okay. I’ve got you this time. I’ve got you.”

Stiles let the words wash over him like a balm. He didn’t even know he needed those words but apparently he did. Apparently he needed them a lot. He kind of wanted to cry and again, he didn’t know why. 

Stupid Derek Hale, making him feel things. Always making him feel things.  

“That sounds nice,” he said instead, eyes permanently glued shut now. They were never going to open again. It was decided. This was his final resting place. In Derek Hale’s bed. “Please don’t leave this time.” 

What a way to go. 

~

When he woke, it was 3am again. Stiles’ first, miserable thought was, it’s always going to be like this, but then he stared a little closer at the alarm clock.

First of all, it was an actual clock, not just his phone. Secondly, there was a picture of Cora next to it. The last time he checked, he did not have a picture of Cora on his night stand. For another scary moment, he thought he might have amnesia but he quickly ruled it out. Not that he didn’t like Cora but she was definitely not the Hale he’d choose to have a picture of next to his bed. 

“I called the academy,” Derek said, making Stiles jump. He was standing in his bedroom doorway, carrying a mug and what looked like….a historical novel. Stiles bit his lip hard, more than a little amused by the cover: two guys, locked in an embrace, wearing togas. “I told them you had a fever and were pretty out of it. Said you’d be back Monday.” 

Stiles frowned, tearing his eyes away from the book. He’d tease Derek about it later. “What day is it today?” 

“Friday.” 

Derek stepped hesitantly into the room and handed Stiles the mug. It was filled to the brim with milk. Strawberry milk. Stiles smiled, feeling a little shy, and took it, wondered if Derek Hale was the type that drank strawberry milk now or if he just spent the last hour in some supermarket debating whether or not to add it to his basket. 

Stiles kind of hoped it was the second one. Derek Hale in a supermarket; now there was an image. 

“So,” he grinned, not entirely certain if this was about to slide on down to awkward territory or not. Derek was back. He was in DC. The last Stiles heard, he was in France. “I half passed out in some coffee shop and you just happened to be passing by? I always knew you were a creeper Derek, but really?” 

Derek raised an eyebrow - ah, there we go - and Stiles dropped his grin, looked down instead. He was wearing a jumper over the t-shirt he had been wearing yesterday. It was soft and smelled strongly of coffee. Inhaling, Stiles briefly wondered if it was possible to breathe in the caffeine. He’d never been a coffee drinker - milkshakes all the way - and if he had to stare down one more cup just to stay awake, he didn’t know what he was going to do. 

“Actually, you passed out in the coffee shop where I work,” Derek said, causing Stiles to look up so fast he practically fell out of the bed. The picture of Cora went flying and what once was very delicious strawberry milk, he was sure, was now a giant pink stain on Derek’s bed. 

“Um,” he said, trying to look more sad about Derek’s sheets rather than the loss of his milk. He had no doubt he failed. “Oops?”  

Derek’s other eyebrow rose to meet his first, before he ducked his head and smiled. Stiles had the strongest, stupidest urge to say, please never stop doing that for as long as you live. 

“Is it that unlikely for me to be working in a coffee shop?” Derek asked, looking up again. Stiles couldn’t read his face but somehow he knew he wasn’t waiting for a punch line. 

“Derek Hale: barista.” Stiles tried it out on his tongue. “I like it. Do you threaten people with your teeth when they’re rude to you?” He waggled his eyebrows and winked, lying back down more fully on the bed. “Wait. Do you help bake the pastries?” Shifting to the other side of the bed, he buried his nose in what he assumed was Derek’s pillow and shamelessly breathed in. Whatever, he could blame it on his lack of sleep later.  

Derek laughed, light and lovely, and Stiles was a little more than instantly smitten. Then again, he’d always been just a little instantly smitten with Derek, hadn’t he? Even when he used to fantasise about punching him in the face. 

“No,” Derek said, “but I do spit in their drinks.”

“Classy.” Stiles nodded slowly and tried to remember the last time he saw Derek look like this: happy, like his whole life hadn’t fallen apart when he was sixteen. It was sad that the answer to that was never. Even through all the fucked up weirdness during the past four years, Stiles at least had had snatched moments of normality. 

He wondered if Derek had gotten to see the new Spiderman movie yet.  

“Hey, Sourwolf?” he asked. “What are you doing until Monday?” 

~

Stiles still didn’t sleep. 

He didn’t think it would be as easy as having someone to sleep next to, having someone to hold and be held by. But it was easier. When he felt like screaming, Derek was right there. He listened to him, listened to every thought that entered his head and poured out of his mouth - the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Derek opened up the coffee shop for him sometimes and made him hot chocolate and talked more than Stiles had ever heard him talk; he told him about his year travelling around the world and the three months he stayed with Cora. He talked about his family. He told him how Isaac was getting on and that having this job was the first time he felt good about himself. He talked for an hour, one night, about the youth group sessions his colleague ran for troubled kids and how he sometimes went along, fully shifted, and let the kids pet him. 

“I knew you secretly liked belly rubs,” Stiles accused him, spraying his buttered scone everywhere. Derek grimaced. “I had a dream about that once, the night you left.” He felt his cheeks flush and watched as Derek blinked and did the same, before reaching out and lacing his fingers through Stiles’.

It was the first time Derek had ever held his hand and Stiles had to admit, it was a pretty damn good feeling. 

“Sometimes I dream of you, too,” Derek said, biting his lip. “I dream of you a lot, actually.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re usually talking me ear off about something.” 

Stiles laughed. “Hey! How do you know that wasn’t really me? I could have been trying to reach out to you, dude!” 

The air went tense - Stiles had already told Derek about the dread doctors - and they stared at each other. 

“I suppose,” Derek said, shrugging, “but….”

“But?”

Derek took a deep breath and averted his gaze. “But in my dreams you were always….you always returned my….” He frowned and stood up, going to make himself another piece of toast. Stiles had learned that Derek was a bit of a toast fiend, especially when there was chocolate spread on the go. He no longer had that ridiculous six pack, either, Stiles had noted fondly. Not that he still didn’t look like a Greek God. 

“I always returned your what?” He was almost afraid to ask, in case it wasn’t what he thought, in case it was what he thought. “You know, Derek, we’ve always had a pretty solid relationship based on mutual exchange. You save me, I save you. I’m cool with, you know, carrying on that….tradition.”

Derek’s eyes lifted to meet his, toast half smothered in something that smelled like chocolate and hazelnut. It’s going to get cold, Stiles thought distractedly, staring at it. Getting up and walking over to him, Stiles leaned across the counter that Derek was standing behind - he looked like an adorable little kid, like he was hiding, hunched over. He took a bite of the toast. 

Derek zeroed in on the chocolate spread now sticking to Stiles’ chin and blinked, like he was realising something. 

“You know I’m not ready for something…..like that, right?” he asked, looking away. His hands were shaking a little. 

“Well, neither am I,” Stiles said, climbing on top of the counter, until he could put both hands on Derek’s shoulder. “All I’m asking is for someone to make me hot chocolate when I can’t sleep and for that person to sign a contract saying a full night of spooning is not an unreasonable demand.” He took in Derek’s tired eyes, the nervous slope of his mouth, and wondered how much better Derek had really gotten. How far away he really managed to get from it all. 

“I’d do the same for them,” he continued. “I mean, I don’t have a fancy ass coffee shop or anything, but I always keep ice cream in the freezer. Plus, I have all the Harry Potter movies on DVD and a kick ass Star Wars blanket.” 

Derek slowly looked up, smiled at him. The tips of his ears were pink. “And how do you feel about versatile spooning rights?” He coughed. “Is that in the contract?” 

Stiles pretended to think about that, even though it was a lost cause. He knew Derek would hear the way his heart was thumping treacherously away at the prospect. “Okay but I get to be the big spoon, like, at least seventy percent of the time. I like being held okay? I do but holding you -” Stiles froze, eyes widening. “Uh, I mean….holding someone. Holding someone has always appealed to me more.”

Derek narrowed his eyes and held up the toast for Stiles to take another bite. Stiles wasn’t sure if feeding him was a werewolf thing or a Derek thing, but Stiles found he liked it. It had been happening a lot lately. 

“Does that mean I’m going to have to suffer you talking in my ear seventy percent of the time? Because if you are, I’m going to have to invest in a pair of ear muffs.” 

Stiles smacked him across the shoulder and Derek grinned. 

“Just kidding,” he said. 

Sudden drowsiness swept over Stiles then - he was never going to catch up on all his lost sleep -  and he rested his forehead against Derek’s. It felt nice, really nice, and a terrifying thought came into his head. Terrifying because it didn’t even scare him that much: I could do this forever. 

“Let’s go home?” Derek asked, cautiously. 

It took them both a minute to realise what he had said. 

Stiles grinned, offering Derek the last bite of toast. “Yeah, Mr Barista Man, home sounds like a good place to start.”