#lsdkf??

[bannock-freak]

saikis self-restraint is god-tier

[theharellan]

meta @ me about Solas finding community 😌

send me a meta topic | accepting | @weptfreedom

Note to readers: while I begin this meta in canon it veers into canon divergence because it is about my Solas and not canon Solas.

"I regret!" he yelled, as loud as he could. The demon froze, its dragon-canine ears twitching. It was split seven ways, trying to still all these mortals at once. It was frustrated, frenzied. But Sutherland's call was like a beacon. "I regret acting alone!" yelled Sutherland. Regret turned to face the young warrior, its many eyes shifting around in its head, centering on him. The one it couldn't touch! It could kill them all in turn, but this new sensation was so tempting, and so familiar! It was as if Sutherland was echoing the regret that had drawn it to Skyhold in the first place. Its arms grew more talons. "I regret using my friends!" yelled Sutherland.

Lukas Kristjanson, "The Callback," Tevinter Nights. (Emphasis mine).

Before DA4's release, when I heard that regret was going to be a central theme of Veilguard, my brain naturally returned to this short story. The regret that twisted Introspection into what it was in this story were linked to Solas's loneliness. The elf who fears dying alone, not in the sense that he will die by himself, but die unknown. The person he was forgotten by time and titles.

Veilguard was certainly a game that knew the value of allies and community, but I felt in regards to Solas, his status as villain and a character they had to remove from the narrative in case of a DA5, it was an unrealised theme for him. In all endings, he is without community save one we imagine for ourselves, and entirely alone excepting (potentially) Lavellan. One of the very things "The Callback" has him regretting (acting alone) is still in some ways his fate.

And it just hit me as sad, as a tragedy, but not a cathartic one.

Looking back, Solas is a person who has been deprived community from his physical birth. Compelled to take form against his own desires (not that Mythal bound him, but she did not care that he said no at first), he is at odds with his own body. That kind of disassociation fosters disconnect between you and other people, and what community Solas found in Elvhenan was shattered again when he rebelled, and then again when he created the Veil.

And in the in between those times, he was a soldier, a general, a hero. In writings, Felassan tells him it is necessary he be Fen'Harel, so the people know someone can keep them safe. And he was right (even if Solas couldn't keep them safe), but it doesn't erase the fact that being Fen'Harel would have created barriers between himself and the people around him the same as being Inquisitor alienates them.

Inquisition is the first time in a long time Solas has a community. There are barriers, he is an elf and an apostate in a world that is hostile to both, but he finds friendship and companionship. Solas himself says so in Veilguard.

And again, he destroys it.

It is here where I change the narrative. Or, perhaps, where Ian changes the narrative. Ian, who is also without community. Who is a Dalish elf, but not; a city elf, but not; a circle elf, but not. He endears himself well to others, but as an apostate has never stayed in one place overlong. It is Ian's nowhere man situation that attracts Solas to his company, two lonely people isolated from communities finding respite in one another.

Solas tries to destroy it, too, but Ian doesn't allow him.

By forcing himself into Solas's company when he is most trying to isolate himself, Ian introduces community into Solas's life. Because the one thing holding Ian back (being an apostate) no longer matters. Agents he might have otherwise been isolated from, only communicating through his spymaster (Miraen), Solas now knows. The Lighthouse finds its life again.

One thing I seek to emphasise through my writing of Agents of Fen'Harel is the community the elves who make it up find. Through conversations with ancient elves, Bruno finds his true self and name as a trans man. Through Bruno, Miraen finds someone who loves and is loyal to them, accepts them as their own flawed society couldn't. Through spirits, elves understand their souls. Through physical elves, spirits understand their nature. As humans we long to understand ourselves through our ancestors, and the existence of ancient elves in lore was such a touching way to make that metaphor real that it is a big reason I am sad they were cut from Veilguard.

The above is getting away from Solas and community a little, but it is important to why he eventually finds it- but also he doesn't quite realise it even as, in Ian's changed narrative, he lays the foundations for what grows into one post-Veilguard. The reason why I think he falls a little short of finding it is because of the Veil.

The Veil can, and does, represent a dozen things to me; everything from climate change to forced binaries, systemic oppression. For the purposes of this ask, it represents the lines that divide community. Spirits (who, notably, Solas was one of) are divided from the physical world by the Veil. Excepting places like Nevarra and Rivain, where even there they must explicitly be channeled through the conduit of mages. All other free interactions in the physical world are small twists of fate, and often rooted in tragedy (see: Cole).

The sad state of spirits in Thedas is a big reason why I felt the Veil needed to come down, albeit not by Solas's hand in any ideal ending. I do not feel any equitable community, or even one striving to be equitable, could exist so long as it does. A people who should have free and easy interaction with the world risk destroying themselves by physically manifesting, when before they could sit in conversation and discuss the nature of the world.

Veilguard disagrees with my perspective, feeling there is no way to remove the Veil without ruinous destruction and that's their prerogative, but it is my game now, so:

The Veil falls. Not as Solas planned, his own shortcomings blinding him to better ways. Again, Ian changes the narrative, albeit not without help in the "true canon" of this blog (thank you, Thora Cadash).

It falls through the workings of many hands that care about the world and care about Solas. It falls, and it is not the end. I have seen people compare those of us who felt the Veil should have fallen to having "rapture" beliefs, and I think it is ignoring the perspective that for many of us the Veil falling would not have been an end or a reason to lay down our worries. Done right, it is another step on the path of healing.

In the aftermath, Solas does not simply lay the foundations of community for others, as he did in Elvhenan and to some extent the rebellion, but he starts to become part of it.

Not just with elves and spirits, but dwarves, as well. Through Thora's work trying to soothe the Titans, relations with the dwarven community she has started to build in Cadash Thaig (where his and her people found community Kal-Sharok destroyed) begin anew. Arlathan as he knew it is gone forever, but the Dalish and the community that once served him now serve each other in a place that echoes the meaning of the city's name: this place of love. And he is allowed to help, to return to someone who gives wisdom before orders.

One cannot find atonement in isolation, one cannot right the wrongs Solas has done against the world by acting alone. There is no perfect absolution for him, there can never be with so many dead, but with community he can find person-to-person forgiveness that will grant him peace and make his greatest fear be forgotten.

Let the past guide you to a new direction. And be well.

Lukas Kristjanson, "The Callback," Tevinter Nights.

[oficeandwind]

quickly inspects their own hair color.

[princepsumbra]

belonging was your birthright; you have always felt this to be true. you have sickened of fighting for it tooth and nail, with blood and tears. but that is all in the remembered past. today you are someone new. today you are someone respected. when you walk the streets of your dark city, the men, women, and children smile at your approach. they know your strength and your knowledge, and they trust in it as they trust in as they trust in the faces of the old gods.

your once-resplendent clothing has been reduced to tatters, but pain, numbness, ache, and cold no longer trouble you. what you have exchanged in their stead is more precious than any caged comfort a castle could offer. you know this is where you were meant to be, not shackled to the whims of the noble and petty, not haunted by the dark legacy of inheritance, but walking beneath trees that offer you their shelter, among air that invites you to breathe it.

bough of the lifetree, emptiness walks in the wake of your footsteps, but the scepter of renewal resides in your hands.your power straddles life and death itself. which path will you grasp with all your might?

Darkness gives way to dusk's half-light. A figure strides confidently ahead of him, their bearing proud. Assured. Xander, in all his distinguished glory. Why wouldn't this strange land show him the mirror of all his own shortcomings?

Leo feels the old jealousy well in his chest, claw up his throat, and he almost turns his back on the visage. He blinks, as if to clear the lens of insecurity, and realizes with stark clarity that it's him receiving all that glory. Recognition settles around his shoulders in place of the shadows he once favored.

If he's so beloved, what happened to Xander?

Muscles twitch. Temptation replaces jealousy; if he could just reach out and grab it--

There is another apparition.

Peace unlike that he's ever felt before emanates from the trees. Dappled sunlight hides and warms him in equal measure. He has the freedom to choose between seclusion or attention.

He is not meant for walking in the sunlight. He is not the people's hero. Let them foist their gratitude upon the one born for such a burden. Solitude never bothered him.

The young prince casts one last look at the regal man accepting his subjects trust. Hands clasp behind his back, and he steps toward the treeline.

[cryoexorcist]

"" how many fantail pigeons do you think would take to kill one rishboland tiger ? ? ? "" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

"a whole flock of them."

course, chongyun is mostly answering instintively at first. but this WOULD require more thought, and he's willing to put in all the necessary research too.

"but it also depends, are we giving them weapons to fight the tigers with? i think the fantail pigeons should have spears strapped to them to give an advantage."

[chmerical-a]

❝  𝗡𝗢,  𝗦𝗘𝗘,  𝗜  𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧  𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘.  ❞  tone's  sharp,  quick  to  cut  off  whatever  snarky  thing  was  about  to  come  out  of  dean's  mouth.  there's  no  time  for  spats,  silence  is  key,  and  dean's  testing  the  limits  of  panicked  patience.  they're  either  seriously,  super,  royally  fucked  (  𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩  𝘪𝘴  𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘪𝘵  𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘺  )  or,  they've  found  something  great,  something  real,  something  that  would  shut  her  smug  sound  guy  up.  it's  a  thrill,  honestly,  being  so  close  to  discovery,  to  truth  (  𝘴𝘩𝘦  𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘵  𝘭𝘦𝘵  𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧  𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳  𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳  𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯--  𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺  𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵  𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥  𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳  𝘣𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘵 )  the  crunch  of  broken  glass  gets  louder  as  footsteps  get  closer,  and  her  hand's  raised  up,  threatening  to  fly  at  deans  mouth  as  they  wait.

...and  wait

...and  wait

silence  coaxes  a  smile,  tentative,  soft  as  teeth  graze  her  bottom  lip.  oh  yeah,  she's  hopeful.  but  it  isn't  until  the  familiar  beep  of  a  walkie  talkie  that  she  realizes  this  isn't  some  ghost  or  ghoul,  this  is  a  very  real,  very  solid,  disgruntled  security  guard.  𝘁𝗵𝗲  𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲  𝗼𝗻𝗲  𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗱  𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱  𝗼𝗳𝗳  𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁  𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀  𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲.  heart's  sunk,  but  there's  no  space  to  wallow.  they've  gotta  figure  out  a  plan,  fast--  wide  eyes  turn  to  dean,  her  hand  now  tangled  up  in  blonde  tresses  and  she'll  let  out  as  much  of  a  whisper  as  she  can  muster,  ❝  the  fuck  are  we  gonna  do?!  ❞

  sc: ft. @hatchetnews // medicine - gus dapperton // tierney gallagher & dean marsten

[nin-deer]

@natsumeweek day 4 omfg i cant believe i made it akjdhfa;lsdkf

im aboutta pass out so no commentary today lmao

[oficeandwind]

"wow. i do not condone that. even i have standards."

[courtfallen]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫’𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔩𝔰 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱; it is not usual for his loyalty to be questioned, especially by a man who has seen through to his true values and principles, a man with whom he shared radical ideals, with whom he dreamed of a different and more sustainable prythian. despite their falling out, vyros knows in his marrow that there is a road back to their collaboration and that the road could lead to the betterment of the realm as whole; why else would he feel comfortable speaking so openly with the daemati? what else had drawn them together but the fire burning in him, after all of this time, now raging at the dawn of this looming threat? vyros has never been one to question threads of fate, silvery and gleaming in the dark loam. it was those that he followed, guided by a celestial light it seemed no other could see — no other but the man standing before him.

❝ of course, you hesitate. you can only see my actions through your lens. your heart burns for the night court alone; mine, for all of prythian. we knew when we spoke on the topic of court independence ages ago that it was a dangerous and radical idea, but we also knew it was one worth fighting for — a game that would always begin by establishing the independence of the night court, kal. freeing the night court is the most obvious strategy, because the night court is the most stable, the most independent already. but, for me, that was just the first move in long war toward freedom for all courts. the first move toward the downfall of an obsolete royal court that could never truly serve its citizens. you must know the night court's independence was important to me, but it was never my endgame. ❞

 vyros can’t help but smirk at the comment he is irrational, because he knows it’s true. vyros’ passion for this particular cause was always a step ahead of his usual level-headed approach toward strategy. of the two of them, vyros had a tendency to be the first to jump while kalore was the steady hand that stayed the action. they were a good match for one another in this way; vyros kept the torch lit, and kalore guided the way. ❝ i regret how it ended. ❞ he speaks on their brotherhood, lowly, the regret obvious in the tone of his voice. ❝ but i will take the responsibility for setting fire to the bridge and letting it go to ash when i returned to the winter court. i will accept the blame for it all if you're willing to at least look at the prospect of rebuilding it. ❞

eyes of ichor study the dark gaze opposite, listening intently when the daemati speaks again. ❝ i know the kind of man you are, kalore. i know you serve your people loyally, and i would be a fool if i were to suggest otherwise. i only ask that you look beyond the night court’s borders to see that there are innocents in every court who simply desire their own freedom, just the same as you. and from the seat of court commander, my reach is greater, my influence stronger. i have more power to make change. i can still serve the night court and every fae of prythian in this way, if you are open to the possibilities. ❞

a grave nod is his answer to kalore’s acknowledgement — enough is enough, but not all courts will see the new king’s rule as a place to demand change, but a vital organ in which to slip a dagger and bleed the court dry. an ambitious court taking control of the realm would end in tyranny which vyros cannot abide. ❝ i do not wish to see any harm come to the boy, but it is time we challenge this reign. it has been too long since the royal court was a true advocate for all those it assumes under its power. ❞ his fingers wrench around the hilt of kingkiller, and he looks through his brows at the shifting darkness around them, scanning for any who might come to feast on this intrigue and scuttle back to a spymaster with the entrails.

❝ i may be an idealist, but i am not naive. history has shown us time and time again what a lust for power and a throne can do to cripple a realm into stagnation — or to bleed it dry. all we need is a majority, and we could see it done — there would need to be peace treaties drawn up, binding treaties with hellish consequences for those that breach them. ❞ silver brows are knit as his mind reels with thoughts others might deem treasonous; how long he’s thought them, how long they’ve festered without another sound mind with which to share them. he sighs and lets the thought go, knowing he’s getting ahead of himself — ❝ i have asked my emissary to call the court commanders together to confer on the events that have been unfolding since our arrival in the capital. i don’t expect many to show, but it’s a chance to get a read on those that do. i hope you’ll attend. solidarity is needed, now. ❞

"you  know  quite  well  what  path  my  past  led  me  towards.  you  cannot  blame  my  hesitance  when  you  ran  off  to  serve  another  court.  it  hardly  inspires  faith  when  you  ally  yourself  with  another,  for  all  I  know  you  can  easily  feign  your  loyalty  -  temporary  or  not  for  the  sake  of  your  own  court."  did  kalore  believe  not?  note  entirely.  between  the  two,  vyros  possessed  a  certain  loyalty  that  not  even  he  himself  harbored.  it  would  be  entirely  easy  to  say  he  did  not  dwell  on  the  past,  but  all  of  his  ambitions  and  his  very  life  was  shaped  by  his  past.  as  much  as  he  wished  it  did  not,  it  would  hold  a  strong  driving  force  over  the  commander  of  the  night  court  for  the  rest  of  his  existence.  the  difference  was  he  carefully  picked  and  chose  what  he  wished  to  look  behind  on.  in  the  case  of  this  winter  commander,  the  answer  was  never  quite  clear,  more  so  now.  that  in  all  this  turmoil  and  uncertainty  that  follow,  kalore  knew  only  one  man  who  thought  as  he  did.  one  might  think  their  minds  were  of  one,  still  were  perhaps,  despite  the  decades  of  differences  and  distance  between  them.  there  was  a  familiar  look  of  bloodlust  in  the  other's  honey  gaze,  one  that  the  commander  knew  all  too  well.  it  had  been  a  risky  move  to  share  his  ambitions  with  the  illyrian  decades  ago,  but  kalore  could  hardly  resist  when  another  understood  something  so  pivotal,  and  feared  very  little  like  the  daemati.  "the  one  thing  i  would  never  mistake  you  for,  vyros,  is  a  fool.  you  are  many  things,  irrational  some  days,  but  certainly  not  a  fool."

he  was  not  certain  the  other's  concern  for  all  the  courts  prythian  or  the  winter  court  he  currently  served.  kalore  had  little  care  that  it  had  been  a  seasonal  one,  and  in  truth,  he  wanted  no  conflict  with  any  of  the  solar  courts  or  the  seasons.  what  he  wished,  as  always  was  the  night  court  to  be  independent.  he  already  had  a  devil  of  a  time  bowing  to  his  own  high  lord  who  was  entirely  unfit  to  rule  the  night  court,  but  at  the  very  least  he  had  his  high  lord  in  the  palm  of  his  hands,  a  man  who  listened  to  his  commander  without  question.  "careful,  do  not  imply  that  i  have  no  care  for  my  people.  every  move  i  have  made  in  my  position,  has  been  for  my  night  fae  and  that  included  you,  once."  the  rational  side  of  kalore  knew  very  well,  the  man  was  not  plotting  anything  other  than  to  free  their  people.  despite  their  history  and  their  fallout,  even  now  the  two  were  capable  of  much,  hardly  another  stood  a  chance  if  they  were  to  team  up  and  do  what  is  needed  to  be  done.  kalore  had  to  consider  other  factors  outside  of  them,  mainly  what  this  thing  could  do  if  they  made  a  sudden  move.  for  all  the  wit  they  possess,  if  their  high  rulers  did  not  possess  the  powers  to  right  this  force,  their  actions  could  worsen  things  for  all  of  them.  he  had  little  care  what  became  of  the  royals,  at  this  rate  would  they  even  survive  without  the  courts  protecting  them,  but  that  led  him  down  a  more  intriguing  thought  -  one  that  the  winter  commander  was  sharing.  "as  much  as  i  despise  agree  with  this,  we  have  stood  back  and  allowed  far  too  much,  at  the  hands  of  the  royals.  the  mother  and  the  boy  are  harmless,  but  we  may  be  able  to  use  it  to  our  advantage.  without  the  king  they  are  vulnerable,  relying  on  us  to  protect  them."  he  had  little  care  for  the  royal  family,  but  the  rest  citizens  of  gaea  did  not  deserve  what  was  befalling  on  them  because  of  their  carelessness.

"no."  it  was  all  he  offered,  and  while  vyros  serving  the  winter  court  certainly  had  left  a  bitter  taste  in  his  mouth  decades  before,  now  he  was  indifferent.  "i  would  sooner  die  than  watch  prythian  fall,  nor  do  i  wish  to  send  any  of  the  faes  of  prythian  in  the  crossfire,  or  into  a  battle  with  one  another.  perhaps  you  may  be  naive  believing  that  every  high  ruler  will  unite  for  the  good  of  prythian  against  the  royals.  you  can  speak  of  your  high  ruler,  as  i  can  of  my  own,  but  even  i  cannot  imagine  what  the  ambitions  of  the  others  are."  he  met  the  other's  gaze,  "you  are  a  perceptive  man,  then  surely  you've  noticed  the  high  rulers  of  spring  and  summer  -  you  can  smell  the  ambition  off  them,  and  i  would  not  underestimate  day  and  dawn  high  rulers  either.  they  seem  unassuming  but  I  find  the  quietest  of  the  bunch  are  the  deadliest."  his  arms  cross  over  his  chest  as  he  shifts,  "believe  it  or  not,  that  thought  has  crossed  my  mind,  that  if  i  could  have  timur  convince  the  others  to  unite,  demolish  the  throne  entirely,  we  would  have  a  fighting  chance  against  this  thing."

[topmewera]

Do you hate me?

(gotta admit i was next expecting a kiss so soon also the hand on the neck is doing me in lsdkf)

[cryoexorcist]

.

[bannock-freak]

oh yeah, teruhashi just haaaaaaaaates attention. can't stand it. doesn't get any self worth or comfort from it whatsoever nope nuh uh not even a lil

anyways its this page right here that got me off the saiteru train. teruhashi loves attention and saiki cant stand it. and even when he's in a relationship i'm not sure saiki would be this level of proactive, especially publicly, which she clearly really, REALLY appreciates. one date of this was enough to really put teruhashi on an 'im gonna have a mental breakdown i s2g' train. my girl was crying and ready to keel over at the sight of a tatami shop lsdkf

at this point in their lives.... well i DO like toxic relationships in my fiction as much as the next angst-obsessed fiend but these kids got enough of that going on :(

(and this is why teruhashi needs to be with someone who won't shy away from making big gestures and planning them out to the smallest detail and who can give her the kind of attention she needs in public AND private and wont be put at risk by hoards of angry men stepping on their feet and who's proven they can be comfortable around her and who doesn't mind making the first move even a little bit and thats why yumehara x teruhashi is the perfect ship in this essay i'll

ykno what get aiura in there and make it a power throuple, my girls will take over the world

[bookwormrants]

merry christmas, please don't call by bleachers is so perfect for batfam like here is part of the lyrics: Oh, golden boy, don't act like you were kind You were mine, but you were awful every time So don't tell them what you told me Don't hold me like you know me I would rather burn forever

But you should know that I died slow Running through the halls of your haunted home And the toughest part is that we both know What to happened to you Why you're out on your own Merry Christmas, please don't call

You really left me on the line, kid Holding all your baggage You know I'm not your father Who says welcome to your uptight While it flickers like a street light He flickers through your damage

Oh, golden boy, you shined a light on our home And at your best you were magic we were sold But don't tell 'em what you told me Don't even tell 'em that you know me I would rather burn forever just so much. some of these i can imagine jason thinking about dick; his response; realizing that someone isn't perfect. the loss of trust in peoplesa;ldkfja;lsdkf j

[volkarnage]

currently crying laughing at how inanimate objects keep fucking these guys up in every campaign ;lsdkf

[neptunechromo]

Hey buddy, since you’ll NEVER draw springy how about you draw literally YOU torturing springy for the best. It’d be pretty funny if a springy hater draws themselves beating the shit out of their least favorite character lmfao

i.. i dont think i wanna do that LSDKF....

[drunkenlionwrites]

been reading a silly little smutty webtoon and why does the male antagonist gives me strong Knives vibes? dsaf;ldk;fskf;lsdkf;kewok His parents are also literal angels tho...